"Okay, okay. No one ask too many questions and we can leave as soon as possible." Janus said, running his hands through his hair. "Roman, don't touch anything. Patton, don't tell him your diagnosis, he'll just argue with you. Logic, please don't ask about the war- we'll be stuck here all day."
Logic looked up from locking his car. His brilliant eyes sparked to life. "Oh," he said, "Your uncle was drafted?"
"No, stop it." Janus pointed at him. His mind felt like it was full of hornets. He never intended on showing Frank his Sides. He didn't think it was necessary. And now all of them are here.
All of them were going to see his shitty house, his empty room, his- his Frank. He was so fucked.
"Gee, Jan." Virgil said, pulling him closer with an arm around his shoulder. "Sounds like you're nervous to introduce us to Dear Old Dad."
"He's not my dad." Janus muttered, pushing him off. There was no hope. He just had to sit through the mortification of being known. He just wished his Sides weren't here to see it.
"This is where you grew up?" Patton asked, tilting his head at the tiny, one story building.
Janus tried to not grind his teeth. "Not everyone's parents have a massive estate."
"Grandparents. My grandparents have a massive estate." Patton said, turning to smile at him. Janus felt a little shiver run through him at the sight. Did Patton just joke with him? Was he trying to be annoying? Janus really couldn't tell.
Janus tried to ignore the shame growing in his stomach. He knew he had the shittiest childhood in the pod. It just sucked to show it to everyone else.
A few feet away, the front door opened, and Janus jumped.
Frank called out, "Well, are ya gonna come in?"
"Here we go." Janus muttered under his breath. He led the way up the steps and into the house. Frank crossed his arms, watching each Side step in.
Janus gestured to the two parties as he spoke, "Frank, Sides. Sides, Frank."
"Hey, good job buddy." Frank said sarcastically. "All those years of Manners paid off, huh?"
Janus smacked his arm, earning a laugh from Frank. "Shut the fuck up."
Patton gasped, "Janus! You can't say that to an elder!"
"An elder?!" Frank laughed louder, squeezing Janus' shoulder. "You finally found someone to straighten you out!"
Janus glanced at Patton. They both looked away quickly. Janus muttered, "Something like that."
Frank looked at them for a second before he said, "I thought they'd be blond."
Janus felt the shame grow higher in his stomach, threatening to overflow. He grit his teeth as he spoke, "Yeah, well. I'm an outlier."
"I used to have blond hair when I was younger," Virgil shrugged.
"You did?" Janus asked.
"Oh, don't worry, Jan." Roman said, tugging him free from Frank's hold. Janus felt himself relax at the familiarity of Roman near him. He almost forgot to listen to what he was saying. Roman's lips touched his temple as he said, "We love your golden halo."
"You do?" Janus said, bewildered. He hated how he stood out from the others; a mistake they got stuck with.
Logic spoke quietly from his spot beside Roman. "Your hair is rather cute."
"It is?" Janus felt his cheeks heat at the gentle look in Logic's eyes.
Frank's gaze washed over the five of them, stopping briefly at the hand on Janus's hip and Patton hanging off Virgil's arm. He pursed his lips, unimpressed.
"I see," he said, looking at Roman once more, "You're the kind'a Sides that fuck each other."
Patton gasped, hiding his face against Virgil's shoulder. Janus felt his face burn as he pushed Roman's touch off him. He shouted, "Frank!"
"What? Was I not supposed to mention it?" Frank said, sounding far too amused. "Just lookit'ya."
"Frank-" Janus growled. It was like he was trying to offend every person in the room at once.
"It's fine! I always knew you were a little gay." Frank waved him off, "I've seen how you dress. So are you all boning or are there pairs?"
Janus covered his eyes, trying to not let his temper flare. He glared up at Frank and hissed, "Why are you doing this?"
"Cuz you don't know how to use a phone and call an old man." Frank said. "Try to disappear on me like that again."
Frank gestured to the group and said, "Come on, let me find y'all some grub."
Janus walked beside him as they went to the kitchen. He said in a low voice, "I disappear all the time, it's what I do-"
"Not for two months, boy." Frank said, ruffling his hair. Janus scowled and crossed his arms. He stood in the corner, simply watching as Frank moved around the kitchen.
He muttered to himself as he looked through his cabinets. "One boy's now five boy's. We got food for five boys?"
Janus opened the fridge, unimpressed with the contents. At least living with Logic and Patton meant there was always something good to eat. Janus grabbed a beer and held it up to show Frank.
"We don't have these at my new place." Janus said.
Frank gave the Sides a horrified look, "So you're torturing him!"
Patton gasped, "Do Negatives need alcohol?"
Janus opened the can. "Yes."
Frank howled in laughter. He gestured back to the fridge, "Don't be selfish, Janny. Pass some around."
Janus handed one to Roman, who gave him an amused grin. He took the drink with an annoying little, "Thanks, Janny."
Janus stuck his tongue out at him, before handing another drink to Virgil. He closed the fridge after that and Frank made a humming noise as he nodded. Janus could practically hear him thinking, 'Got it, those two are the losers.'
Janus was going to need more drinks. They stood aside while Frank began to prepare burgers, his specialty. Frank couldn't do much, but he could make burgers. As he worked, he asked the five of them questions about the past two months.
"Janus actually got us all together." Logic said, kindly leaving out all the parts where they were mad at him.
Frank gestured at Janus encouragingly, "Way to go, buddy! And they said you wouldn't accomplish nothing."
"Don't you have a TV to yell at?" Janus muttered, taking a big gulp of his drink. It was some kind of fruity beer. Flavored enough to be drinkable but beer enough that Frank could keep his masculinity. Unfortunately, Janus loved it.
"What do y'all do?" Frank asked, looking up every so often as he cooked.
"I work at a daycare with most kids being between two and five." Patton sounded so happy talking about his job. Janus could never imagine being that excited for anything work related. Although was it really work if he was just a glorified babysitter?
When Patton finished, Logic spoke next, "I study Molecular Fusion Biology and Organic Side Chemistry."
Frank whistled and stopped laying out prepackaged cheese to glance at Janus. He nodded in Logic's direction and said, "Keep that one."
"I'm keeping all of them, Frank." Janus rolled his eyes. "That's kind of the deal."
Frank shushed him and pointed to Roman, "Next."
Roman puffed out his chest and said, "I'm an actor!"
Frank nodded and waved on to the last Side. "What about you? You look like you'd be cool."
Virgil raised his beer in gratitude. "Tattoo artist."
"Oh, I might still have one or two of those floating around." Frank sounded pleased. "Don't worry, Janny. You can make'a future out of one of those boys."
"Gee. Thanks, Frank."
"You, when are you getting a face tattoo? All the best guys in my day had face tattoos." Frank asked. He moved about the kitchen like a giant with a purpose. He found a tomato that wasn't in too bad condition and began slicing it next.
Virgil laughed and pointed to Logic, "That one would kill me if I did that."
"So you got these two to keep you outta jail, and that one to be in there with you." He looked to Roman, "Does that make you - What's the word?- gender neutral?"
Roman sputtered, almost choking on the beer he was sipping. He turned a very pretty shade of pink before he covered his face with a hand and set his beer on the counter.
Frank looked so proud, "See? I've been learnin'!"
Logic smiled, "That was very impressive, Frank. Would you mind washing your hands before you continue with the meat patties?"
Frank looked down at his hands, about to open the packaging. He shrugged and moved to the sink. Janus watched him to make sure soap was involved.
"Right, now." He looked up at Logic again. "What's your intentions with my son?"
"FRANK!" Janus shouted over Frank's laughter. Logic's pink cheeks were nothing compared to Janus' own.
"Oh, don't worry, Mr. Frank." Patton said, getting the attention off Logic for a moment. "We treat Janus right."
Frank glanced at Patton, then at Janus. His gaze lingered a tad too long on his cheek. Frank would never outright ask about such things. He was an asshole, but he drew a line at scars.
"Hm." Is all he said, glancing around at each of the Sides. Janus could practically hear his thoughts, 'Then which one'a you did this?'
He would never guess it was the quiet, happy one on the end, kicking his feet as he sat on a bar stool. Janus stared at Patton, feeling very odd about letting him inside his house. Something about it didn't feel right. And not just because he could never compare to a massive fucking mansion in the middle of nowhere.
They managed to avoid too many more awkward questions from Frank. He asked more about Logic's studies and Virgil's tattoos. Virgil pulled out his phone and showed him some photos. That managed to distract him for a while.
Things took a turn for the worse after they finished eating the burgers. Frank clapped his hands together and said, "Any of y'all want to see Janny's baby photos?"
Patton gasped loudly. Logic smiled and nodded. That was all Frank needed to stand up and ignore Janus' pleas of mercy. He disappeared into his room and came back a moment later with a thick scrapbook.
"Where did you get that?" Janus asked, horrified.
"I made it." Frank sat at the head of the table. He set the scrapbook down in front of him and opened it to the first page.
"What do you mean you made it?" Janus crossed the room to stare in horror over his uncle's shoulder.
"I got hobbies, boy. Now, shut up." He gestured to the others, who still sat around the table a respectful distance away. "All'y'all come here."
Patton hopped up and moved to stand directly beside Frank, already scanning the first baby photo. Logic and Roman scooted closer on the other side, leaning against the table to get a better look. Only Virgil remained where he sat, but he rested his chin in his palm and took a big swig of his beer. Janus didn't think he was going to get any help from him soon.
"Oh, he even had curls as a baby!" Patton cooed. Janus felt a shiver run down his spin. He glanced at Pat, but he wasn't noticed.
"Yeah, he was always a cutie." Frank said, turning the page. "Always knew how to use that smile, too."
Janus bit back a groan as the next photo had him in one of those tiny baby bath tubs. At least Frank added bubble stickers to cover his baby junk. When the fuck did he even make this?
"This here's his Mama." Frank said, tapping a photo of a woman in a hospital bed, holding a disgusting red spot that must've been Janus. Jan stared at the woman's face, one he could barely remember now. Frank continued, "She deserved better than my shithead brother."
Better than his father. Better than him. Janus backed up, smoothly disappearing out of the room without anyone's notice.
The last thing he heard was, Logic ask, "What made you decide to adopt Janus?"
"Loyalty."
Janus went for the garage first, a tiny thing meant for one car; but Frank managed to shove a tool desk and mini fridge in there. Janus found a roll of trash bags and began filling one with beer from the fridge. He glanced around the garage for anything useful. He swiped a hammer (always useful) and the little naked hula lady from Frank's dashboard (probably not useful). Like the grinch, Janus snuck back into the house with his trash bag of goodies. He took the quarters out of Frank's wallet and the batteries out of his remotes. He took the belt from his bathrobe and his left slipper. He ignored the constant giggling coming from the kitchen at his expense. He snuck outside and threw his trash bag stash into the trunk of Logic's car. Of course even his trunk was in perfect condition with only a small first aid kit tucked in one corner. Well, it was before Jan's trash stash.
He'll remember to grab it before Logic finds it.
Janus sneaks back into the house. He walks towards the kitchen, intending to sit through the torture, when he hears Roman's voice.
"Wait, but why did they send him to juvie? He did nothing wrong."
And backtrack. Janus turned at the last second and made his way to his basement. He took the stairs two at a time, jumping on the final step. He glanced around the empty concrete room. All that was left down here was a twin bed frame with a mattress on it. He sat down on the edge of it and covered his face with his hands. Fuck Frank. If Janus wanted to tell his Sides his entire life story, he would've done it. He didn't need it laid out for them like an old-fashioned powerpoint.
Janus hated the idea of all of them, gathered up there, gossiping about the worst of his trauma like it was nothing. Janus just needed to be alone and cool down.
Someone opened the basement door. Slow, stumbling foot steps made their way down the stairs. Janus stood as he saw Virgil come into view, one hand balancing himself on the rail, the other holding another beer can. Virgil stumbled on the last step and Janus jumped forward to catch him. His firm, heavy weight met Janus arms. His bandage tugged a little, but he was too focused on the idiot in front of him.
Virgil laughed, patting his shoulder as he slowly righted himself. Virgil said, voice high pitched, "Oopsie!"
"God, how many of these have you had?" Janus asked, taking the beer from him- and the can was almost empty. Janus drank the last bit himself and threw the can into the corner of the room.
Virgil counted on his fingers, "Shit, there was the one you gave me. Roman didn't like his, so I drank it. Frank dared me to chug one. And gave me another as a reward."
"You've had four of these?" Janus glanced at his imaginary watch. "In fourty-five minutes?"
Virgil just smiled. He swayed on his toes without a care in the world. He glanced around the small room and then he wrinkled his nose and said, "He kept you in the basement?"
"It's a small house-" Janus shook his head. "Okay, new rule. Don't listen to Frank's dares and don't drink four beers in a row."
Virgil blew a raspberry at him. His swaying was starting to worry Janus, so he dragged Virgil over to the bed and sat him down. Virgil laid back, stretching his arms over his head as he twisted like a cat. Janus watched him and wondered who the fuck let this happen.
"I was gonna be done at three." Virgil said, inspecting his fingernails. They were always painted black, and Janus appreciated the commitment to the aesthetic. "But then Frank gave me another, for chugging the third. And he called me 'Champ'."
Janus sighed and sat beside Virgil. He looked up at the water-stained ceiling and said, "You don't need Frank's approval."
Virgil sat up ungracefully. He was still smiling, his eyes half-lidded. Virge blinked slowly and said, "He talks funny."
Janus let out a tiny scoff-laugh. "I know. I picked up his accent for a while as a kid."
"Say y'all." Virgil said.
"No."
"Say it." Virgil poked his side, and it made a giggle leap from his throat. Janus didn't stand a chance before Virgil was full on tormenting his side with tickles. Janus tried to push him away, to cover his mouth and hide his embarrassment and laughter.
Virgil only relented when Janus called out, "Okay, okay, okay! I'll say it!"
Virgil sat back and watched him with wide, drunken eyes. Janus flicked his nose. "Y'all suck."
Virgil burst into giggles, grabbing his hand and saying, "You know you love me."
Janus felt himself blush. Virgil's grasp on his fingers was gone a moment later. Janus thought about if he should even respond to such a comment. And if he did, what could he say?
The moment was taken from him when Virgil asked, without any tact, "How was kid jail?"
"Eh." Janus waved his hand in a so-so motion. "Could've been worse. And it wasn't really juvie. It was more like⦠an orphanage for Negatives."
Virgil shifted to better look at him. He leaned his back against the wall, giving Janus his full attention - however much that was in his drunken state. Janus shrugged, unsure what to add.
"They sent you there, right? Your parents." Virgil asked.
Janus sighed. He wasn't sure why he was saying all this. Surely Frank explained it upstairs. He said, "Towards the end of their divorce case, they just dropped me off one day and left."
Virgil shook his head, "How long were you there before Frank got you?"
"Took him a little over a year. Said he didn't learn about it until I was already there for two months. Then it was just background checks and paperwork." Janus didn't think about what Frank did much. How he changed his entire lifestyle to incorporate Janus. And how he really didn't have to do that.
"Did you know him much before he adopted you?" Virgil asked.
Janus scoffed, "Hell no. Like we met a few times, but as a kid he was a stranger to me. But one of his Sides is related to one of my dad's Sides. That makes us blood. He says he had to."
Virgil nodded thoughtfully. "He's a cool dude."
"No he's not." Janus said.
"Cooler than my dad." Virgil grinned at him. "He's a security guard at a museum."
"That's cool." Janus said with no enthusiasm.
Virgil shook his head. "It's not like the movies. The t-rex stays dead all night."
Janus tilted his head, "What?"
"Oh my God, you haven't seen Night At the Museum." Virgil giggled. "I'm telling Roman. We're having a movie night."
Janus couldn't imagine anything better than being curled up between Virgil and Roman as they watched a stupid movie together. He wondered if Virgil would even remember this conversation, or if he would want to fulfill the dream when sober. Janus could really use that kind of comfort right now.
Or a distraction. And he had a very pretty one right next to him. He placed a hand on Virgil's thigh and said, "Tell me, what do you think about Roman?"
Virgil's gaze fell down to his hand. He stared at it for a moment, his brain moving slowly. Janus waited until Virgil snickered and pushed Janus' hand away.
"You're a tease!" He accused, and Janus could only smile in amusement.
"Yes, it comes with the trait." Janus said. Virgil stared at him and swayed. Janus placed a hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him back until he was resting against the wall again. Before he could pull his hand away, Virgil caught it and inspected Janus' fingers.
"That shit at the restaurant was so uncalled for." Virgil's fingers slowly slid into place beside Janus'. Jan gave his hand a squeeze and smirked.
"I just wanted to make sure you were thinking of me." Janus purred, letting himself forget Virgil's intoxicated state. If Virgil wanted to play, he could play.
Virgil snorted, swinging their hands back and forth in cute, short motions. "Fuck, between you and Pat, I didn't know how to think."
Janus frowned. "Patton? What was he doing?"
Virgil giggled again. His cheeks were rosy from the alcohol and it made for such a cute picture. Janus wished he could keep this version of Virgil by his side forever, happy and open and carefree. It was such a stark difference from the Virgil he had been helping all week.
Virgil shook his head, "Nothing you should be worried about."
Which was obviously worrying, because what the fuck was Patton doing? Janus knew he ought to back down, that Virgil was fully Patton's boyfriend and not his. But he couldn't make himself step away from such a delicious challenge.
"Oh, I'm not worried about him." Janus said, his hand slowly sliding out of Virgil's grip and up his shoulder. His finger tips danced along Virgil's neck. His nails slid against his jawline as Janus purred, "Not when I have you where I want you."
Virgil moved away. He blushed, but his smile remained. Janus only got to see that beautiful smile for a moment before it was hidden away by Virge's hand.
"Sorry." Virge mumbled, "You make me nervous."
Janus pulled back, shame burning inside him. He'd been reading all of Virgil's signals wrong this whole time. "Fuck, sorry, I-"
"No." Virgil held him still. The smile returned, his cheeks as pink as ever. "I like it."
Janus swallowed thickly.
"A fun kind of nervous." Virgil whispered it, like it was a secret. Janus felt his face heat at the idea of a secret so precious.
"Oh." Janus said, then as his stupid brain decided to work, he realized, "Oh!"
Virgil giggled, pulling them closer. Janus felt the gentle, hot puff of Virgil's breath on his lips. He could smell the fruit from the alcohol they drank.
Janus asked, "Virgil, do you-?"
He didn't get to finish his question as Virgil leaned forward, smashing their lips together. Janus felt himself freeze up, even with Roman's affections and a week by Virgil's side, he was still unused to such warm touches. Virgil's chipped nails scratched along his jawline, and Janus barely held back a groan.
Janus pulled away, forcing himself to hold back. Virgil deserved better than drunken make outs on an old mattress. He could at least grab some fresh sheets-
"Fuck." Virgil laughed, wiping his mouth on his hand. Janus tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest. Virgil smiled up at him from under his lashes. "Sorry I keep kissing you when I'm drunk."
"It's fine." Janus said, feeling a little light headed. "Just keep kissing me when you're sober."
Virgil hiccuped and hid his face again behind his hands. He muttered, "This is so embarrassing."
"Who're you embarrassed by?" Janus asked, leaning as close as he dared. "It's just me here."
Virgil giggled more, smiling and trying to hide that he was smiling, over and over. Janus wanted to keep kissing him, but he knew he was already pushing his luck. He took Virgil's hand, kissing his knuckles, and leading him to step off the bed.
"Let's go back upstairs, love." Janus said.
"Wait." Virgil squeezed his hand, and he leaned closer until their foreheads rested against each other. As Janus forgot how to breathe, Virgil whispered, "Thank you for getting me through Remus."
"Any time, dear." Janus replied, his throat dry.
Virgil smiled and kissed him again, soft and sweet. Janus again had to resist the urge to push Virge against the wall and make out with him until someone came looking for them. Maybe another day, if he could be so lucky.
Janus stepped back, keeping their hands connected. He took a deep breath and led Virgil back up the stairs. When they made it up there, they found everyone had moved to the livingroom. Patton was still absorbed in the scrapbook, it now sitting on his lap as he read through it from his spot on the floor. Frank had his own beer, sitting in his lazy boy. Roman and Logic sat close to each other on the couch, Logic resting his head on Roman's chest.
"Now that would'a saved you from getting drafted. Lots of undiagnosed folks survived. Couldn't decide if they were trustworthy or not."
Janus ignored whatever Frank was saying, interrupting with, "Hey, Logic. Why'd you let Virge have four beers?"
Logic looked up, not raising his head off Roman. He blinked slowly. "He said it's the weekend, and he has no responsibilities. Ergo, four beers."
"What?" Janus knew Logic wouldn't let that slide normally.
Roman provided an answer, "Frank made Logic try some old wine."
"Frank!" Janus turned to his grinning uncle. "Don't you know alcohol can kill Logical traits?"
He spoke like he didn't learn that fact a mere week ago. Frank scoffed at him and waved him off. "I gave the boy a taste. Lots of Logics drank during the war. You got some lightweights with you."
"I know." Janus seethed. "That's why you can't give them the good shit."
He gestured to Virgil, who was leaning heavily on Janus' side now. Janus wrapped an arm around his waist and ignored the heat in his cheeks. Virgil rubbed his face against Janus' shoulder, reminding him of a cat.
"This is lovely, Frank." Patton said, almost to the end of his book. He smiled up at Frank, his fingers lingering on a photo of Janus as a kid, holding the first fish he ever caught. Janus wanted to just curl up and die on the spot.
"Thank you." Frank smiled at Patton. Then he nodded to Janus and said, "Keep this one. I like him."
"I'm keeping all of them!" Janus repeated, because it was better than thinking about all the confusing emotions of Frank approving of Patton.
Unfortunately, he made eye contact with Patton. Even worse, the adorable asshole was smiling.
Janus crossed his arms and tried to not sound like a brat as he said, "It's time to go home now."
He was met with a chorus of disapproval from the crowd around him. Janus directed Virgil to the front door, ignoring his giggles the entire way.
"Yes, we're going home." Janus shoved Virgil's shoes into his arms, ignoring his stupid flirty grin.
Roman and Logic slowly got up off the couch, smiling at each other. Janus did not need to be a part of that cuddle pile to know they were laughing at him. Poor stupid Janus with his embarrassing dad-uncle and shitty house. He couldn't even look over at Patton as he put on his own shoes and made sure he had Logic's keys.
"You did a wonderful job with this." Patton said as he handed the scrapbook back to Frank.
"Aw, thanks, son." Frank said, "I left a spot blank in the back. For the man he'll be one day."
Janus shoved Roman out the door. "Come on!"
Patton giggled.
Tell me what you think!
