CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT: ~emotional baggage~

Sans wanders aimlessly through the dark forest, trying to find a decent spot to sit, his mind simply whirring onward to itself as he wanders deeper into the snow speckled forest. his slippers shff-shff their way through the thick snow banks as sans continues deeper into the dark wood, snow dancing around.

The trees tower above him as they always have- the mysterious flora that grows without the sun, their peaks higher than houses as they sway in the constant flurries of snow. his mind works as it hasn't for a while- hasn't really needed to, the scientist in him beginning to show once again as he mutters formulas to himself, wandering past the spindly streams clogged with ice and trying to think of some way to pierce a place that doesn't technically exist at all. How do you save someone from nonexistence? How do you repair a save state that's been broken for more than a decade?

He hops over an iced-up stream, wondering briefly how long it's been since it ran freely. The machine he built so many resets ago wouldn't work even if he had managed to fix it…Even if he went to the past, his father wouldn't exist there either. He doesn't exist anywhere but nonexistence and sans's own memories now…sans wonders what that'd look like, an underground that never knew his father in the first place- even now, sans has memorized the blank spots in history book after history book, none of them naming his father in any way apart from 'creator of the core' and sometimes, not even that. Even if nobody 'remember' remembers him, there's still the space he…Sans stops dead in his tracks, snow swirling down, towering trees shifting against one another as his eyelights contract with sudden realization.

The space he left behind.

He begins muttering rapidly to himself, taking out the notebook and pencil to rapidly write down plans and formulas before they disappear from his mind, the skeleton sitting down in the snow with a sharp crunch- not minding the cold in the slightest as he scribbles frantically. The trees loom around him, frozen streams tracing through the snow as he keeps scribbling and muttering, flicking through page after page to fill the next with calculations upon calculations, This could be it, this could be-

"H-HEY! LAZY ME! IS THAT YOU!? OH THANK GOODNESS- CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

a distant shout rings out, and sans blinks, snapped out of his trance. He looks around in confusion, seeing only the endless dark trees and swirling snow, but then-

"UP HERE! IN THE TREE!"

Sans hears, and looks up, his eyesockets widening as he spots blue, waving at him rapidly from the top of one of Snowdin's signature pines, clinging to the very top which bends a little under his weight.

"wh- blue!? the heck're you doing up there?!"

Sans calls up at him, scrambling to his feet and staring up in bewilderment at blue, who seems immensely relieved to have been found.

"I- ER, WELL I INTENDED TO SCOUT THE AREA THIS MORNING, BUT I GOT RATHER…STUCK?"

he calls, shrugging apologetically, his blue bandanna a bright beacon in the swirling snow. Sans just gapes up at him- blue is barely a blob of gray and turquoise, such is the height he's climbed, the black sky sans grew up under stark behind him.

"COULD YOU MAYBE, ER, HELP ME GET DOWN PLEASE?"

Blue calls hopefully, and sans blinks rapidly, shaking his skull as if to clear it and taking a deep breath of the sharp cold air. He summons the magic from inside his soul, feeling it coil around his palm and through his bones as his eyes light up a blazing cyan blue, yellow flickers flashing through the glow as he locks his eyes on blue and sends his magic out in a strong pulse-

"MWWEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!?"

THUMP!

And yanks blues soul down, sending him crashing into a thick snowbank, the skeleton rolling a short ways before stopping, limbs splayed out like a starfish as the world spins. Sans quickly jogs over to him, offering him a hand up with an apologetic air, blue gladly accepting it and scrambling to his feet, utterly caked in snow.

"hey, uh, you okay there pal?"

Sans asks, and blue blinks, looking up and grinning cheerfully as he responds emphatically;

"I AM ABSOLUTELY FINE MY DEAR FRIEND! THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY- THE MAGNIFICENT SANSATIONAL SANS IS ALWAYS FINE!"

he proclaims confidently, hands on his hips as sans lets out a small sigh of relief. Then, he notices that blue is shaking slightly- the other skeletons bones clattering together even as he grins confidently.

"uhhh…how long were ya' up there, anyway?"

Sans asks, and blue thinks for a moment, before shrugging and replying cheerfully;

"WELL THAT DEPENDS ENTIRELY ON WHAT TIME IT IS!"

he proclaims, and sans automatically looks at his watch- 10:47AM. He echoes the time back to blue, who blinks, and replies sheepishly;

"OH, ER, WELL…THAT WOULD MEAN MAYBE ER, FOUR OR FIVE HOURS…?"

he suggests, and sans's eye sockets widen- geeze, that's a long time to be out in the snow, even for a skeleton.

"WELL, I SUPPOSE IT COULD BE LESS- THOUGH I DO NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHEN I GOT BACK FROM THE LAB…"

blue continues, slightly embarrassed. then, his eye sockets widen, his large blue eyelights glowing a little as he snaps his fingers and proclaims suddenly;

"OH- THAT'S RIGHT! I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU FROM MISS ALPHYS!"

blue proclaims, and sans blinks a little, surprised. He didn't expect that- maybe she wants to check on him or something?

"wait, really? what'd she say?"

Sans asks, and blue immediately responds, rattling the message off in a decent impression of alphys voice.

"SHE WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE LATER TODAY YOU COULD COME PICK UP YOUR LASER DOG BECAUSE IT IS EATING ALL ENDOGENYS FOOD AND ALSO IT KEEPS BARKING AT NOTHING!"

blue recites, and grins proudly, sans just staring at him in confusion.

"uhhh…'laser dog'?"

He asks, and blue blinks, mirroring his confusion.

"UH, THAT BIG WOLFEY-LOOKING ONE YOU APPARENTLY SUMMONED BEFORE I ARRIVED? I THINK SHE SAID IT WAS CALLED 'JALAPEÑO'?"

blue prompts, sans thinking hard, trying to remember…then, it suddenly comes back to him- yeah, right, that suped-up G-blaster he summoned while on those weird painkillers, he never did unsummon it, did he? Man, that was weird…he didn't know he could summon something that complicated.

"ooohh, yeah, i remember now- i'll go pick it up later, she say anythin' else?"

Sans asks, and blue thinks for a moment, the snow swirling around the two skeletons, blues bones just rattling together in tiny clicks as he thinks, shivering.

"…ya know what, nevermind- you need to go warm up or somethin', I can hear your bones shaking."

sans says, interrupting blue, the other skeleton starting in surprise, as if he hadn't noticed.

"OH, I SUPPOSE YOU ARE RIGHT- BUT, UH, WHICH WAY IS SNOWDIN…?"

blue asks sheepishly, and sans helpfully points in the direction of bell, MK, and papyrus's construction zone, explaining;

"thattaway. just keep goin straight and ya can't miss it. by the way, y'ever call your bro back?"

Sans asks, and blue says perfectly still for a moment, then slaps a gloved hand to his face with a long groan, sans chuckling despite himself.

"OH MY GOODNESS- HOWEVER COULD I FORGET!? HE AND DAD MUST BE SO WORRIED, NOT TO MENTION…"

but he doesn't get to finish, the skeleton trailing off, noticing Sans's expression. His eyes are suddenly dark, and even his still usually ever present easygoing smile has dissipated- his expression unreadable, but decidedly not positive.

"your…'dad'?"

sans manages in a low voice, struggling to get the words out calmly. A look of fear crosses blues face, and his eyelights dart around nervously, the other skeleton beginning to squirm as he realizes his mistake.

"as in, gaster? the Doctor WingDings Gaster, who's currently half dead in this universe?"

Sans growls, but the question is purely for emphasis- the expression on blues face at these words tells him everything he needs to know.

"you mean to tell me that you knew how to save him This. Whole. Time?"

Sans asks, stepping forward as blue steps back, a panicked expression crossing his counterparts skull as he waves his hands wildly.

"N-NO! I MEAN YES! I MEAN- ITS COMPLICATED? I, ER- OH DEAR, THIS WASNT-"

"-Wasn't meant to happen?"

Sans interrupts, his voice little more than a low growl now.

"why? Why would ya- why, why in hells name would you not tell me?!"

Sans demands furiously, blue looking utterly terrified, his eye sockets wide as sans steps forward again, all the red flags in his mind pinging up as blues eyelights desperately flick around for any sign of escape.

"do- do you even realize how long I've been trying to save him?! That whole time in the lab with alphys- ya could've said somethin'! done somethin'! Why would you not tell anyone?!"

Sans yells, blue flickers dancing in his eye sockets- and blues eyes somehow get wider, the other skeleton desperately attempting to explain in a panicked rush, his hands waving wildly.

"I MEAN I- I DIDN'T KNOW IF- I, I JUST, THIS WORLD ISN'T LIKE MINE! BUT IT IS IN SOME WAYS AND ITS CONFUSING AND- AND SOME THINGS ARE THE SAME, L-LIKE THAT COMMUNICATOR THING! WHERE YOU TALKED TO HIM- THAT HAPPENED IN MY WORLD TOO, SO I THOUGHT- IF I JUST- IF I JUST WAITED, EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY AND THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENED IN MY WORLD WOULD HAPPEN HERE! BUT IT ISN'T, AND IT DIDNT, AND YOU'RE MAD AT ME AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I'M REALLY SORRY I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK THE TIMELINE PLEASE DONT BE MAD!"

he cries in a huge rush, panting slightly when he finishes and shifting from foot to foot nervously in the snow. Sans just stands there, staring blankly back at him- 'didn't want to break the timeline?' How much does this other him really know? Every time sans thinks he has him figured out, he just goes and surprises him again! What does he know about timelines? What happened in his world? And what in hell happened during his version of that conversation over the check interface?

"explain everythin' to me right. now. and maybe I'll think about it."

Sans eventually mutters. blue squirms for a moment, then gives a defeated sigh and rubs the back of his skull, explaining;

"W-WELL, THAT, UH, COULD TAKE A BIT…?"

he says nervously, and sans jabs a thumb towards a nearby log at the base of one of snowdins chunkier pines.

"then we'll sit."

He growls coldly, (pun intended) and soon the skeletons are sat side by side in the snow, Blue still slightly nervous but decidedly less so than he was five seconds ago. Sans, however- well, his eyelights haven't come back on, if that gives you any idea. his mind is reeling, and desperation wars with fury and hope within him as blue awkwardly begins to explain.

At first, sans doesn't believe a word of it- the other skeleton beginning by stressing that he, in fact, knows nothing about how his father was actually saved- but that if he wants, he could tell sans what happened in the days before? sans responds to this with a suspicious nod, and blue continues, less awkwardly now- the other skeleton telling the story with a mixture of fondness and something like annoyance as he begins to describe how odd his brother began to act, around a week before his father was saved.

Apparently, after 'AN ODD TWO DAYS' blues brother had suddenly started going missing from his sentry posts, coming back at wildly varied times, sometimes late at night to collapse on the couch, sometimes at lunch to disappear into the attic until midnight, all without telling blue where he'd been. (Sans had asked what had happened during those two days, but blue had just waved it off as being both irrelevant and too hard to explain)

Blue had of course been suspicious at his brothers behavior- but since his brother seemed to actually have some 'PEP IN HIS STEP!' for once, blue had let it slide at first- but had definitely not at the expense of his brothers health. He had actually started forgetting to eat, which 'WOULD NOT BE TOLERATED!' by blue, at least not while his papyrus lived in the same house as him. But, his brothers odd behavior had not yet reached its peak- he had suddenly begun disappearing to the lab for long periods of time, coming home late at night or sometimes even very very early in the morning, carrying all manner of blueprints.

Now, blue would tolerate his brother being out all day, it was 'GOOD FOR HIM TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR ONCE!' but only as long as he returned at 'A HALFWAY REASONABLE HOUR!' which midnight was certainly NOT. So, Blue had started asking him what was so important that he had to neglect his sleep like this- something he'd never thought he'd have to reprimand his brother over- but he had only been given cryptic, half baked responses that most certainly did not satisfy him.

It was the absolute last straw when blues brother came home after two days.

Blue furiously describes how worried he'd been- how many times he'd tried to call him, how much pacing he'd done, how many times he'd tried to cross Hotland to even get to the lab, (unsuccessfully, because of the impossible steam puzzles) and how absolutely absurd it was that his brother thought he could just DO THAT and NOT TELL HIM! sans interjects to ask how that's relevant, but blue just shushes him with an incredulous 'I WAS GETTING TO THAT!' and continues on just a bit longer about how irresponsible it was before finally getting to the part sans has really been wanting to hear; when blues father was actually saved.

Blue describes how his brother, without any explanation, had teleported right into the living room in a mad panic- calculations clutched in his arms, scrambling to get up the stairs without even a hello! He'd immediately clambered into the attic without even a word to blue, who had tried to catch him (unsuccessfully) and had yelled multiple times for his brother to 'GET THE HECK DOWN HERE!' And explain himself, but to no avail- then, horrible sounds of screeching metal and crackling noises came from the attic, along with a lot of muffled shouting and what sounded like a fire extinguisher, so blue had begun trying to force his way in. Nothing was working, what sounded like a mini apocalypse was going on in the attic, and blue had been 90% sure that his brother must be injured in some way by then. He explains how, in a full blown panic, he had been about to blast the door open- (here sans raises his nonexistent eyebrows at the mention of blasters) -but, someone beat him to it.

He was thrown right down the stairs, along with the door, since his brother had blasted the door open on his end seconds before blue was about to. blue had ended up at the bottom of the stairs, very sore and by this point simultaneously terrified for his brothers safety and furious at him for causing all this trouble.

But the thing that made all that seem infinitely unimportant, was who his brother had with him- a battered, sobbing skeleton that for a moment, blue did not recognize. Sans listens with dark eyesockets as blue describes the moment he'd first seen his father after so long- how the memories had rushed back to him, how happy his brother was, how they'd both been thoroughly singed, how everything made so much more sense with him…his words trail off, and blue fixed smile grows fond, remembering, sans stuck between envy and uncertainty as they sit in the snow.

"…AND I SUPPOSE THAT WOULD BE IT. IM SORRY I CANT BE MUCH HELP, MY BROTHER DID MOST OF IT…HE ALWAYS HAS BEEN BETTER AT ALL THAT SORT OF THING! SCIENCE IS ONE OF THE FEW THINGS I AM…LESS THAN OPTIMAL AT- BUT MY BROTHER IS BRILLIANT! AND AS SUCH, I AM CERTAIN HE WILL FIND ME! VERY CERTAIN!"

Blue finishes, but his voice wavers unexpectedly, and sans looks up, blinking. He's surprised to find an almost….uncertain expression on blues face- something he hasn't yet seen, and didn't expect. Blue sees him staring, and attempts to fix his expression, trying to perk up, unconvincingly.

"I-I AM SORRY, IT'S JUST…YOU WERE RIGHT! I SHOULD'VE TOLD SOMEONE, OR DONE SOMETHING TO HELP YOU! IT'S JUST THAT, WELL…EVEN THOUGH THE MAGNIFICENT SANSATIONAL SANS IS ALWAYS AMAZING AND GREAT, I'M JUST…NOT IN A SITUATION I EVER THOUGHT ID BE IN, SO IT'S RATHER…"

blues confidence falters, and he seems to deflate slightly.

"…ITS RATHER…FRIGHTENING, I SUPPOSE- BUT, U-UH! NOTHING THAT THE AMAZING MAGNIFICENT SANSATIONAL SANS CANT HANDLE, OF COURSE!"

Blue tries, attempting to fake confidence- but he isn't very successful, his facade faltering. sans chuckles dryly, and sighs, pushing away his emotions for a moment.

"heh…no, s'fine blue. you're in a whole different universe, I don't think anybody'd expect ya to be exactly peachy right now."

Sans reassures, patting blue lightly on the shoulder as snow swirls down around them in lazy patterns.

"an' anyway, it's not like i don't know what it's like ta' be homesick…"

sans sighs, his eyes tired as blue looks over at him in surprise and concern, sitting up straight and tilting his skull in worry.

"WAIT, YOU DO?"

blue asks worriedly, and sans chuckles again, but there is no humour behind it. He nods, responding;

"well, maybe not quite how you do- but, yeah. i miss home."

Blue's nonexistent eyebrows furrow in confusion, and he stares at sans, puzzled.

"BUT…YOU ARE HOME?"

blue asks, waving in the general direction of snowdin, confused. Sans chuckles coldly, and stares out at the snow as it dances- a thin layer of frost creeping across his jacket now, so cold is the underground air that hangs motionless around them.

"nah- s'not like that, its…"

Sans sighs, and rests his chin in his hands, not meeting blues concerned gaze.

"…how things used ta' be, I guess."

he finishes, almost to himself, silence falling.

"god, that sounds stupid…"

Sans adds after a moment, mumbling into his hand- blue immediately snapping to attention and staring at him in panic.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS! IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR FATHER, RIGHT? YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE SAD! I WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO IF I WAS CAPABLE OF IT!"

blue proclaims worriedly, glancing at sans with concern.

"heh, y-yeah, I, I just…"

Sans begins, but his voice wavers slightly, the skeleton rubbing one eyesocket hard as it suddenly aches- a reminder of an old injury.

"…I just miss 'im, y'know…?"

Sans chuckles shakily, his voice threatening to break, and looks up at the dark sky, his eyesockets just as empty of light as the dark ceiling of the underground caverns he's always called a home. He does not blink, even as a meaningless smile trembles on his skull, deeply buried emotions beginning to slip through the barriers he thought he had perfectly sealed, sans continuing in an wavering voice;

"…y'know, Dad- my version of him- he'd always hum like, this one song, just over and over? all the goddamn time?"

sans says, still staring up into the swirling snow, his voice shaking along with the empty smile.

"like, he'd- he'd just keep humming it everywhere he went, and it was so, so annoying, but-"

Sans laughs, but not a happy one. sans waves out at the forest before them with one hand, his smile quivering unsteadily as he keeps talking.

"B-but damn if I w-wouldn't give anything to hear him hummin' now…"

Sans's voice suddenly breaks, and blue straightens in alarm as sans begins to tremble, giving up completely and holding his head in his hands as he keeps on shaking, his eye sockets screwed up tight against tears he doesn't want to come. He doesn't want to do this, to be like this, he has to keep going he doesn't want to feel this-

"…I'm a f***ing mess..."

He mumbles, and blue immediately responds, resting a gloved hand on Sans's shoulder and proclaiming in alarm;

"NO! YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO MISS HIM! HES YOUR DAD! I WOULD HAVE FELT THE SAME IF I COULD!"

blue proclaims worriedly, concerned for the other him who just gives a few shaky chuckles in response, replying in a trembling voice;

"I can't even hear a goddamn story 'bout him- 'bout a version of him- without breaking down, ain't that the literal d-definition of pathetic?"

Sans spits through the shudders, still laughing at himself, at his own pain, even as he turns his face away, his whole body shaking. Blue shakes his skull wildly in return, gripping sans's shoulders with both hands and forcing him to turn towards him, staring into his lightless eyesockets and telling him firmly;

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! IT SHOWS YOU CARE ABOUT HIM VERY MUCH! THAT'S A GOOD THING!"

Blue states firmly, concern in his voice as sans shakes with grief he keeps on desperately trying to suppress, has been trying to suppress for thirteen long and lonely years.

"AND ANYWAY- HE HAS BEEN LOST FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME! HOW LONG HAS IT EVEN BEEN SINCE YOU'VE LAST TALKED ABOUT IT WITH ANYONE?"

Blue asks in concern, hands firmly placed on sanses shoulders, forcing him to face blue as he answers.

"Try never."

Sans replies, large tears starting to well up in his eyesockets as Blue's face falls, the other skeleton's expression filling both with pity, and a sudden, deep understanding.

"I-"

Sans's voice wavers, but it soon cuts off- blue suddenly pulling him into a fierce bear hug, his arms wrapping tightly around sans in wordless understanding. Those words- "try never." His brother had said them, and blue knows what they mean.

Sans freezes up at first, startled by the sudden contact- but soon he just gives up and goes completely limp, his skull thonking down on blues shoulder as the other skeleton keeps him totally trapped in a tight bear hug. Sans, eyes empty apart from the tears that bubble there, stares up at the swirling snow- just like he used to, back when he was little, lying breathless in the snow... It twirls down lazily, and a long silence stretches out, the trees towering above as frozen streams creak their way by. The pain crushes him as it has for thirteen long years- but as always, sans bears it with a meaningless smile. The only thing that's different is that now it can twitch as thick tears roll down it, ice creeping across the thin trails left in their wake as sans trembles with silent, choked sobs.

Then, he suddenly hiccups a laugh.

blue startles in surprise, and draws back quickly, a question dying in his mouth as he continues staring at sans in puzzlement as he laughs through his own hiccuping sobs, an unsteady smile on his skull.

"h-heh, sorry, sorry I-I…"

Sans looks up, rubbing the tears off his skull with one wrist as he gives blue a tired, shaking smile.

"…I just realized, I'm comfortin' myself."

Blue blinks for a moment, then snorts as well, soon breaking out into all-out laughter as Sans joins him, their laughter echoing out as two skeletons sit in the snow. Eventually though, their laughter dies down, and sans wipes his still rather damp eyesockets with one sleeve, still chuckling as he says;

"h-heh, man, I needed that…"

He chuckles, and blue nods, agreeing brightly. but for some reason sans can't place, his mood suddenly falters, and he looks away, his own smile flatlining about as much as it can, sans blinking in confusion at his usually quite cheery counterpart.

"…ITS REALLY ALL MY FAULT THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW SOONER…I-I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE HELPFUL, I- I SHOULD'VE DONE S-"

But sans interrupts him, still shaking slightly as he bursts out with an incredulous cry of;

"wh- blue, literally none of this is your fault! the hell're you talking about? all you've done is handle this better than anyone else, that's for damn sure!"

Sans cries in frustration, his still quite roiling emotions redirected, and blue waves in the direction of the lab, then at the tree, explaining frantically;

"I SPENT THREE WHOLE DAYS AT THE LAB, WITH ALL THAT EQUIPMENT, AND ALPHYS, AND WHAT DID I DO? NOTHING! THEN, WHEN I GOT THE CHANCE TO TELL YOU, WHAT DID I DO? I GOT STUCK UP A TREE! A TREE!"

blue cries just as emphatically, gesturing forcefully at the tree for emphasis, going to say something more- but sans interrupts him yet again.

"well, okay, yeah- but one, ya' literally just said how you're terrible at science stuff, and two, exactly when didja get the chance to tell me alone, cause stuff about me n' paps dead dad is certainly not somethin' you'd talk about in front of papyrus!"

sans responds, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

"I don't even know why I was mad atcha' to begin with! ya were just tryin' not to break all of time n' space- that's a good enough excuse not tellin me!"

He cries, and sighs heavily, looking away.

"I never shoulda' blown up at you in the first place..."

He sighs, and blue relents, falling silent for a moment and studying his counterparts expression as sans rests his chin on one hand, staring out into the snow. He huffs dryly, and adds;

"I must just be stressed from the whole 'dead dad' thing."

Blue frowns as much as he can at these words, tilting his head and squinting at sans with concern.

"SANS…YOU SAID YOU 'DEAD DAD'- HE'S NOT REALLY DEAD YET, YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU? WE BOTH SAW IT ON THE SCREENS, REMEMBER?"

blue reminds him, not unkindly, tilting his skull in concern. sans just rubs at his eysockets and chuckles shakily in response, his mood growing darker once again as the hopelessness crashes back down upon him, having been briefly lifted by the distraction of the argument. He can barely remember how hopeful he had once been, laying in the dark hours before.

"heh…and how do I really know that was actually him, blue? ya do realize the chances of it being him are next to none, right? I saw him die."

sans asks, his hands trembling from cold and grief as he stares down at them, his voice beginning to shake as hope slips from him.

"why am I even trying…?"

He asks himself in a cold, empty voice, one palm pressed to his newly revived eye that still aches- an old wound flaring up as blue blinks at him in shock.

"WH- 'WHY ARE YOU TRYING?' SANS, YOU ARE TRYING BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM!"

Blue yells in indignation, startling sans to the point where he nearly falls off the log, blue throwing up his arms as he starts to rant.

"YOU ARE TRYING BECAUSE HE IS YOUR DAD! YOU LOVE HIM, AND HE LOVES YOU- DID YOU NOT READ A SINGLE ONE OF THOSE MESSAGES!? THE FIRST THING HE ASKED WAS IF YOU WERE OKAY! HE PROMISED HE WOULD GET BACK TO YOU, BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO MEET HIM HALFWAY SANS!"

Blue screeches, eyelights tiny pinpricks of frustrated cyan as sans blinks at him in stunned shock, before he blinks, his expression fading back into the depressed and fragile state it was before as he responds quietly;

"I can't know if it was my dad, blue. I just can't know if he's even alive. I can't…I can't feel his soul. The last thing I ever felt from him was fear as I saw him fall into Lava. There's…I just can't know."

Sans admits tiredly, one hand drifting to his chest, where his silvery soul pounds it's eternal pulse of cyan, thumping in mimicry of a heartbeat beneath his clothes.

"WH- WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?! OF COURSE YOU KNOW!"

blue cries, throwing up his arms in exasperation, the small skeleton deeply concerned for his notably more depressed doppelgänger.

"I KNOW!"

He cries, and meets his counterparts gaze with absolute certainty.

"IN FACT, I CAN SAY I KNOW FOR AN ABSOLUTE UNDENIABLE FACT THAT HE IS ALIVE! I TALKED TO HIM FOR PETE'S SAKE!"

sans suddenly chokes on the depressed comment he was about to interrupt with, and whips his head up to stare at blue, his eyelights flickering with cyan sparks as he gapes at him in shock.

"wh- you- when- w-what?!"

Sans fumbles, caught severely off guard, and blue nods emphatically, explaining earnestly;

"WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE! THE RIVERPERSON BROUGHT ME TO A GRAY DOOR- AND BEHIND IT, THERE WAS SOMEONE THAT SPOKE WINGDINGS AND SOUNDED A LOT LIKE MY OWN FATHER AND WHO ALSO SEEMED VERY SAD! THAT MUST'VE BEEN YOUR DAD, RIGHT?"

Blue asks, and sans just blinks rapidly, trying to process this, a few stray tears still wet on his skull. That's right, the Riverperson- the half-kooky shadow elemental- they had...they had told him. Sans was half conscious both the times they'd told him about that- but still, the memories are coming back now…

"s-so, you…you heard him? you actually heard his voice?"

sans asks, one hand pressed to his forehead as he gapes at blue, who replies with as much detail as he can manage, sensing he's finally made some headway in helping his depressed doppelgänger.

"YEP! WELL, HE DIDN'T TALK MUCH IN THE BEGINNING. HE JUST MADE A SURPRISED NOISE WHEN I SPOKE, AND I THINK HE GOT UPSET WHEN HE HEARD MY VOICE? HE MUST'VE THOUGHT I WAS YOU? ANYWAY, AFTER A WHILE, HE STARTED ASKING ME ABOUT MY UNIVERSE, JUST SIMPLE STUFF- THOUGH, HE DID ASK ME IF I HAD SEEN YOU, ONCE."

blue pauses, as if trying to remember something, as sans slowly begins to process this, gears grinding in his skull.

"THEN, IN THE MIDDLE OF ME EXPLAINING, THAT WEIRD THING STARTED HAPPENING TO ME AND I PASSED OUT. I HEARD HIM CALLING FOR THE RIVERPERSON, THOUGH!"

blue explains, and sans stays absolutely still. He doesn't budge an inch, doesn't even breathe, trying to process this new development, his eyes completely dark as his brain whirrs. This is information. This is proof. This is Proof. Blue watches him, concerned at his silence, then in polite confusion as a shaky yet seemingly genuine smile spreads across Sans's skull, his eyes still dark. Then, a single sudden 'heh' escapes Sans's skull, and then another, and another, and- and soon sans is shaking with them, tears welling up in his eyesockets and running down a huge (if unsteady) smile.

"H-he's- he's alive…"

sans manages to say, and blue nods, relieved that his doppelgänger is showing some positive emotions now and beginning to speak but- Sans suddenly grabs blue and hugs him, trapping him in a surprisingly similar bear hug, blue blinking in surprise for a moment as sans shakily but happily thanks him- repeatedly.

"WOAH THERE, ME! THERE IS NO NEED FOR THANKS! I'M JUST GLAD YOU'RE FEELING BETTER! THOUGH, THAT'S…ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING I PROBABLY SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU SOONER… "

Blue deflates slightly as sans pulls back, blue rubbing the back of his skull with one blue-gloved hand as he continues;

"I'M SORRY I DIDN'T EARLIER- I SUPPOSE I DIDN'T REMEMBER PROPERLY, BUT I MEAN…"

he trails off, looking a little dejected, but sans quickly interrupts, rubbing the tears off his skull as he does.

"hey- c'mon blue, s'alright. i mean…i did really need, uh…"

this time sans trails off, searching for the words. 'Motivation'? No, no…'comfort?' Nah that's worse…'an emotional kick up the ass'? Definitely not…he wonders, but blue interjects, helpfully guessing with one pointer finger in the air;

"HOPE?"

sans blinks, and nods, chuckling. That…actually fits perfectly, come to think.

"heh- yeah, hope. i needed some hope."

he bumps blue gently on the arm with a loose fist.

"thanks, bud."

Blue smiles cheerfully, snow piled in his bandanna as he grins, his bright blue gloves propped proudly on his hips as sans chuckles at his unendingly papyrus-like enthusiasm.

"YOU ARE VERY WELCOME!"

blue responds proudly, but then he pauses for a moment, giving sans a searching look that only reminds sans of his brother even more.

"…ARE YOU OKAY NOW?"

He asks in a very papyrus-like way, and sans hesitates a moment, before nodding. he gives blue a tired smile, genuine enough to satisfy his worrying, and answers;

"yeah, yeah I'll be fine. always am, heh…you should probably go back to snowdin now, though- I've kept'cha long enough."

Sans replies, and Blue nods, a shiver running up his back as he scrambles to his feet, brushing snow off himself. He looks around, recognizes the route to snowdin, and is about half a step forward when he pauses again.

"HEY, UH, ME?"

he asks, turning to look at sans with a curious expression. Sans lifts his head, and meets his gaze with a small 'hm?' Showing he's listening as blue tilts his head curiously, the plumes of his bandanna bobbing.

"WHAT SONG WAS IT? OUT OF CURIOSITY?"

Blue asks, snow swirling lazily through the branches of the pines that tower over them. Sans blinks at blue, surprised- then breaks eye contact, looking away. but he still responds after a moment, smiling a little despite himself at the warm memories of his father.

"Wonderwall."


(AUTHOR NOTE:

Hey.

I know you've just had a good dose of mush, but uh…I wanted to say thanks. I know there are only like 6 people following this fic, but I wanted to say thanks anyway. For reading this far, y'know? This fic has been running…a while, and most of the early parts…aren't my best work. If you're reading this, you've stuck by the fic, even when it was really trash, and through my long and shitty absence. I really appreciate it. I've been struggling a ton a bit lately due to some personal stuff, but thinking of my work making someone out there smile has kept me going. Even if it's only 6 people who's day I make better by writing this stuff, I'm still gonna keep writing for those 6 people. I love you guys A F**KTON, so keep on writing, okay? I did, So enjoy the next chapter. It's, uh…well, you'll see.)