Logic trudged slowly from his car into the house. His foggy mind reviewed the information he studied today. He could almost feel the neurons at work, sorting his memories.
In some instances of a Fusion having four arms, the pectoralis major system is repeated between the primary pectoralis major and the rectus abdominis muscles. If the Fusion has an odd number of arms, the amount of pectoral muscles remains even. Some instances the number of pectoralis major muscular systems remains standard while…
He walked up the stairs without turning on any lights. It was quiet in the house tonight, which Logic was thankful for. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed and rest. A sound altered him to a figure on the floor. The noise was muffled, high-pitched, and watery. Crying.
Logic stopped in the hallway, brain lagging to deduce what he saw. Janus sat on the ground outside Roman's room. His knees pulled to his chest and his face hidden away. His shoulders were shaking in the clear indication of crying, although Logic could hear no further sobs. He blinked, forcing himself into action.
"Janus?" He said.
Janus' head snapped up to look at him and Logic's heart almost broke at the sight. Janus' eyes were wet, filled with tears that refused to slow. Janus shook his head when Logic stepped closer.
"No," He mumbled, "No, not you, too."
"Shh, it's alright." Logic knelt down, gently touching Janus' shoulder. Janus flinched and pulled away, Logic stupidly realized too late which side he was on. He moved his hand to a safer spot on his back. Janus bit his lip and dropped his head into his knees again.
Logic asked, "Can I take you to my room?"
Finally, Janus nodded. He didn't speak or look up as Logic helped him stand. They walked close together for the short trip down the hall. Logic closed the door behind them and guided Janus to his bed. Janus immediately curled into a ball, pressing his face against the sheets.
Logic set his backpack by his desk and lowered the lights to make the room more comfortable. Logic sighed as he removed his tie and shoes. He slowly slid onto the bed next to Janus and carded his fingers through his hair. Janus immediately pressed close to Logic's side.
"What happened?" He asked, voice quiet.
"Nothing." Came Janus' response.
"I don't believe that." Logic leaned down and kissed his temple, the only part of his face peeking out from the mattress. They laid in silence as Logic slowly brushed his fingers through Jan's curls.
Janus let out a sigh and shifted. Logic stayed quiet as he eventually sat up and wiped his face. Logic brushed his blonde curls out of his eyes as Janus took deep breaths.
Finally, Janus said, "I think I'm an idiot."
"No, that would be Jason." Logic said.
That got Janus to laugh, giving him a surprised look. His smile faded after a second, and he said, "Roman- and the others… They don't like me."
Logic frowned, "Of course they do-"
"Oh my gods, this is so stupid." Janus covered his face with his hands.
"No, wait, keep talking." Logic pulled a hand down gently, sliding their fingers together.
Janus shook his head. "It's just- Patton, fine. I get that. Whatever. But I thought I was …" He stared down at their connected hands, "getting somewhere with Roman and Virgil."
Logic asked, rubbing his thumb against the soft skin of Jan's hand, "What makes you believe the opposite is true?"
"Because Kyler…" Janus exhaled through his nose. He said again, "Kyler showed up right as me and Virge were talking about- I don't know, there was talk about a date… Maybe…"
"Kyler's presence doesn't mean Virgil changed his mind. The two instances could simply be coincidence." Logic said, "Virgil wanting to be Kyler is likely more about Patton than about you."
Janus closed his eyes and sighed again. Logic wasn't sure what about that response was unsatisfactory. He tried again, "Kyler is understanding. If you're confused, you could always ask him."
Janus scoffed, but leaned closer to Logic and rested his head on his shoulder. Logic allowed his fingers to card through his soft hair once again. Logic liked playing with Janus' hair. It was always soft and thicker than Roman's. Logic wasn't yet able to examine Patton or Virgil's hair. Logic scratched gently at Janus' scalp, momentarily distracting him.
"What of Roman?" Logic asked.
"Roman…" Janus rubbed his face against Logic's shoulder, groaning. "Roman doesn't want anything serious."
"...And what does he consider the three of us?" Logic asked.
Janus shrugged and said bitterly. "Sides."
Logic nodded, feeling his own chest grow heavy with the information. He said quietly, "I see."
Janus groaned again, hiding his face up against Logic's neck. "And I fucking said I loved him."
Logic felt a smile pull at his lips. He asked, fingers still sliding through his hair, "Is that true?"
Janus hesitated for a moment, but nodded. "But he doesn't love me back." Quieter he added, "Nobody does."
Logic tilted Janus' head up with a finger curled against his chin. He asked gently, "Are you Polyphemus?"
"Huh?" Janus blinked.
"Because I must be Nobody." Logic said, leaning forward and giving Janus a soft, warm kiss. As they pulled away, noses still brushing, Logic clarified, "I love you, Janus. I thought I was making that obvious. And I'm certain the others will see your value as well."
Janus swallowed heavily and curled against him, ducking his head. Logic smiled as golden curls tickled his chin, and arms desperately wrapped around his waist. He held Janus close, occasionally kissing the top of his head.
Janus whispered, "Thank you." And then, "… Me too."
"Rest up, dear." Logic responded, pulling the blankets over them. "We'll have words with Roman in the morning."
Janus shook his head, but kept his eyes closed and his breathing even. Logic rested his hand over Jan's once more and stared at the ceiling. He hoped whatever thought process Roman had was a good one. For his own sake.
"Roman, we need to talk about you." Logic said as he entered the kitchen with Janus close behind. Kyler was nowhere in sight.
Roman perked up, a smile growing on his face. "My favorite topic!"
"What do you think of dating your Sides?" Logic asked.
"Uh… I like it?" Roman said. He frowned and then added, "What's this about?"
"And what do you consider us, boyfriends?" Logic asked.
"Well, yeah?" Roman glanced from Logic to Janus and back again.
"Why?" Logic asked, his arms crossed.
"Be… because we're Sides." Roman said. "Sides date each other."
"And it's not serious?" Logic raised an eyebrow.
Roman's face flickered with recognition. He said slowly, "No. We're Sides. Of course we like each other."
"So it's expected Sides date?" Logic's tone was stern and unbreaking.
Roman shrugged. "Obviously. Sides like each other. Its, like, mandatory."
Janus interrupted then, "Mandatory?"
"Yeah. It's easy." Roman said.
Janus scoffed and walked away two steps. He paced a little, holding his face with his hands.
Logic let out a long sigh, watching Roman carefully. He felt an angry churning in his chest. A metaphorical storm growing behind his rib cage.
Logic huffed and turned to Janus. "Could I borrow your emotions?"
"What?" Janus said, eyes widening slightly.
Logic ran a hand through his hair, messing it up. He tried his best to explain, "I am experiencing intense emotional distress and do not have the proper vocabulary to express it."
"You seem to be doing a good enough job right now." Roman muttered.
Janus didn't look away from Logic as he silently nodded. Logic grabbed his hand and pulled him close. He could see the surprise in Janus' expression as they moved into a spin. Logic took three steps in the circle before tightening his arm around his waist. He dipped him low and brought their faces close together. Logic was planning on kissing him, but they fused before he got the chance. The last thing he remembered was pink darkening on Janus' cheeks.
"No," Roman whined, covering his face with his hands. "Guys! You don't need to bring out the calvary for this-"
"On the contrary," Polemic said, straightening his spine, looking down at Roman with undisguised judgment. "An argument is the perfect environment for me. Firstly, Logic's intelligence and Janus' wit work in tandem to dismantle any talking points you could come up with."
Roman shook his head, his gaze darting to the doorway behind Eugene.
"Secondly, as a Polemic, I am better suited at identifying opposing arguments and hypocritical motivations." Polemic counted on his fingers. "Thirdly-"
"Guys, is this why you fused?" Roman asked. He inched closer to the door, then back again when Polemic squinted at him. "Do I need to be here for this?"
"Of course. Do you expect me to argue with myself?" Polemic scoffed, crossing his arms. "I would win."
Roman blinked.
Polemic shook his head, "I must admit you have a point. This conversation is merely a distraction from the true purpose of my summoning."
"Oh, what's that?" Roman asked, taking another step back.
Polemic moved forward, and Roman moved with him, trying to keep the distance between them the same. Polemic tilted his head, observing as much as he could from the other. "Understanding you."
"You- uh, you wanna talk?" Roman's back hit the kitchen counter.
"Talking: very close, very similar. But no, love, we're not talking." Polemic placed his hands on either side of Roman on the counter, easily leaning over him. He said with a saccharine smile, "This is an interrogation."
"No thank you." Roman tried to duck away, but Polemic easily pulled him back.
"Roman." Polemic said, moving so they were constantly making eye contact. "You told Janus that you weren't 'looking for anything serious', is that correct?"
"Uh-"
"It is." Polemic continued quickly, "Can you define what your interpretation of 'serious' is?"
Roman shook his head, "You know, like, til death do us part, kind of thing?"
Polemic nodded and said, "And tell me, as Sides who have discovered our full pod, do you intend to leave us at any point?"
"Uh, well, no-"
"So then, are we not a 'til death do us part' kind of thing?" Polemic asked.
Roman groaned, "Guys-"
"Are you only intending for our relationship to be sexual in nature?" Polemic asked, "Was that always your expectation?"
Roman placed a hand on his own chest, "No! I just-"
Polemic raised an eyebrow and said, "Do you have romantic feelings for us?"
Roman's face flushed, "I- I don't know-"
Polemic got as close as he dared, anger seeping into his voice, "So why won't you date us!?"
"I can't marry you!" Roman interrupted, voice a near shout.
Polemic's mind shorted, an uncomfortable experience for the Fusion. He blinked in confusion, "What?"
"I can't marry you guys." Roman said, sounding awfully dejected. He looked down and fiddled with the edge of his shirt. "Not really. Not all of you."
"But…" Polemic's mind was still sluggish from the surprise. He said slowly, "But you said-"
"I want to be with you. With all of you." Roman said with a sigh. "But I want boyfriends too. Ones that aren't my Sides. I just. There's so many kinds of relationships out there and I thought maybe. Maybe saying 'I love you' would mean I can't have that."
"Roman, no one was upset that you're polyamorus." Polemic said with a sigh. "We didn't intend to give you that impression."
"It's more than that. When I was with Remy. I thought about…" He hesitated, then shook his head. "Nevermind."
"Roman." Polemic grabbed his chin and tilted his gaze upward. "Tell me."
Roman's face grew red as he said, "I thought I could have both. A boyfriend with his own Sides that liked me. And a pod of my Sides that- that wanted me. And so we could, you know. All be together?" His voice was high with nerves.
Polemic released his chin and said simply, "You want nine boyfriends?"
Roman rubbed the back of his neck. "Well that was the daydream but it- it's not important-"
"There certainly are communities where two pods will date each other with the understanding they will be married as two Established people, but… Roman, you can't expect that to happen. Furthermore, if that was your end goal, why would you reject Janus?"
Roman's eyes widened and he said, shoulders slumped low, "He said he was lying."
"Roman!" Polemic could feel a headache growing behind his third eye. "Focus, please."
"I- you- he…" Roman took a deep breath, then said, "I am still upset about Remy dumping me. And I didn't really want a repeat of that with my own Side, okay?"
"But I- Janus said he loved you." Polemic rubbed his temple.
"Yeah, so did Remy!" Roman said, throwing his arm out in frustration. He pointed towards the door, like Remy was already there. "Love doesn't last! Or it doesn't for me!"
Polemic sighed, "Roman, that's an illogical conclusion to-"
"Is it?" Roman said, "You're only with me because you're stuck with me! Because we're Sides, right?"
Polemic cooked his head, considering the accusation. Finally, he shook his head and said, "I disagree."
"Of course you do." Roman scoffed.
"Roman, my affection for you has little to do with our Sidedom." Polemic smiled as kindly as he could, an action that didn't come naturally to the Fusion. "We met because we're Sides. But that's not why I like you."
Roman swallowed thickly. "Oh."
"Roman. We want to be with you. But not like that." Polemic exhaled slowly as they backed up. Roman's wounded expression was hard to look at. "You. You can't treat us that way, Roman. Just because we're Sides - that doesn't mean our affection is any less genuine. If you don't feel the same-"
Roman interrupted, eyes wide. "Are you breaking up with me?"
Polemic licked his lips and looked away. He said calmly, "Consider it a pause."
"Fuck." Roman looked down at his feet, his fists balled by his sides.
"Perhaps at a later date we can revisit-" Polemic began.
Roman didn't let him finish. He hissed, "Shit." As he pushed Polemic out of the way and ran out of the kitchen.
Polemic watched him disappear around the corner. With a sigh, he rubbed his eyes.
"I found that rather enlightening." Polemic said to himself. After a moment, he added, "And disheartening, yes."
"After further contemplation," Logic said as he approached Roman the next day. He was in the livingroom, lounging against a pile of pillows on the couch. Logic turned off the TV before continuing, "I've gathered enough data to form a reasonable hypothesis."
Roman blinked. "Huh?"
"I've scheduled you a doctor appointment." Logic said, placing a hand on his hip.
Roman sat up with a gasp, "Am I sick?"
"No." Logic said, "You're Autocratic."
Roman's brows pinched. "Is it fatal?"
"Only for the rest of us." Logic sighed.
At this, Roman realized Logic was intending to be mocking. He leaned back against the couch and muttered. "So you and a doctor can insult me for two hours? No thanks."
"You're getting diagnosed, Roman." Logic said. "Your behavior and reasoning has been very revealing to me."
Roman adjusted his shirt, pulling the bottom down more. "I'm not revealing anything. And that doctor isn't gonna find anything either!"
"Perhaps." Logic said with a shrug. "If that's the case, we'll simply do more tests."
Roman grit his teeth. Logic could see a deep distrust in his eyes, although he believed it to be directed at the medical field, and not himself.
Satisfied, Logic handed the TV remote over to Roman and stepped away. As he turned to the stairs, Logic couldn't help but add over his shoulder, "What's the matter, Roman? I thought you enjoyed talking about yourself."
Tell me what you think!
