CHAPTER THIRTY THREE: We Finally Get To The Good Bit


"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Several people are, currently, running for their lives.

Gaster is indeed among them- except this time, he's running from a couple hundred shadowy bastards all piling on top of each other trying to bite his (and everyone else's) face off. Pretty normal afternoon for him, all things considered.

Herman is cackling loudly mainly out of stress, Archemedies screeching at a pitch only dogs should be able to hear, and Gaster is letting out a long hiss of garbled static that's his equivalent of screaming at the top of his nonexistent lungs. Literally nobody is very happy about running, but they don't really have a choice- A huge mass of strikingly piranha-like shadowy jaws crashing behind them, hundreds of tiny mouth scrabbling for a chance to sink their teeth into the three monsters, a tidal-wave of snapping teeth.

Pretty good motivation, eh?

The haphazard group is a resoundingly disorganized mess, but they still somehow manage to turn a corner without banging into one another, the mass of snapping shadowy forms careening after them as Herman grabs Gaster by the scruff of the neck and yanks him down a side passage, the other skeleton having been about to run down a dead-end passageway.

Herman continues to instinctually tug him along as he somehow finds the time to protest, Archemedies mostly just screaming as he is dragged along with her. Gaster barks something irritable at herman in his staticky font, causing her to retort in Spanish, causing archemedies to scream at them to maybe concentrate on NOT DYING, causing them both to finally shut up as a shadowy ball of what appears to be teeth suddenly leaps ahead of the general mass and crashes into Gaster, the warped skeleton yelping and immediately impaling it before tugging the chain of terrified monsters, at last, into the cavern containing the gray door.

Gaster immediately flashes to the door in a blur of panic, fumbling to open it and immediately shoving herman inside- archemedies tumbling after her as gaster flashes inside and rams the door shut, the shadowy jaws mere inches from the gap as the latch clicks and the entire room suddenly reverberates from the impact of a million shadowy bodies crashing against it as a wave of gnashing, clamoring mouths. Gaster flattens his back against the door, armless shoulders hunched as he crams all his weight into keeping the door shut, the walls rumbling with still-passing bodies.

Then, the pounding trickles to a stop, the reverb in the walls fading away at last.

For a few seconds, the only sound is the breathless panting of three exhausted monsters, Archemedies trembling nose-to-tail from exertion. Herman shakes black froth from her cloak, her ghostly skull slightly fainter than usual, Gaster just leaning his back against the door and trying to breathe. Somehow, despite the fact he doesn't actually have any limbs, (or lungs) that was still exhausting. His mind is racing like a wild animal, and as he tries to calm, he can hear two voices- one of which is familiar to him, the other…

…still familiar, but in a way that makes his memories motion-sick.

Funny, he thinks to himself wearily, every time I think I've felt every kind of discomfort there is… he sighs, and tries to pull himself together- nearly literally, since his less-than-stable body has begun to drip after the exhaustion of fleeing those…things. What did she call them? Shadow bastards? Gaster smiles tiredly to himself with a huff, yes, for some reason that strikes him as very characteristic for her. Upheaved memories roil and jostle to be heard in the back-alleys of gasters brain, and he closes his cracked eyes for a moment, working to silence them.

"Geeze, Arco, I dunno how you did that!"

Herman remarks disbelievingly, goggling at the still quite shaky archemedies, who shoots her a dark glance. He's quivering all over, pale under his scales as his spines make tiny click-clicks.

"Adrenaline."

He growls, balancing on one leg and clearly in immense pain, Herman wincing as she watches him wobble.

"You don't say…"

Herman replies, one nonexistent eyebrow raised as she looks him up and down with very poorly hidden concern. Gaster, still leaning against the door, grumbles to himself- something about fate being a dick, and Herman suddenly remembers her brother, immediately straightening up. She turns her skull sharply, looking him up and down to make sure her newly rediscovered sibling is okay, older-sister instincts kicking in despite the fact he hasn't needed her to beat up anyone for him since they were in high school. Gaster's body is still very obviously dripping onto the ground, his face unreadable as he mumbles to himself, holding his skull as if he has a headache.

No wonder, Herman thinks, her eyes immediately narrowing in concern at his unstable body, as she glances to Archemedies to check he's seeing the same worrying things she is. Those two huge f*cking cracks in his skull probably aren't helping. Archemedies clearly has seen, and gives her a pointed look, jerking his head in Gaster's direction. Herman nods at him, and quickly strides over, the entire exchange passing without a word said.

Gaster is just trying to steady his breathing. In, out, he reminds himself, then get back to surviving… Suddenly, he feels a familiar hand land on his shoulder and spin him around, snapping him abruptly out of his thoughts with a jolt as Herman says flatly;

"I'll just pick up where I left off, shall I?"

The ghostly skeleton asks, tilting her skull at him with one nonexistent eyebrow raised. Gaster stares at her and doesn't even get the time to answer, before she takes a deep breath and launches right back into her previous slew of ranting- except this time, directed right at him.

"That being WHAT THE F*** DID YOU DO TO YOUR FACE DID YOU DIVEBOMB OFF A CLIFF ARE YOU INSANE!? HOW DO YOU DO THESE THINGS TO YOURSELF I MEAN I FALL INTO THE CORE FOR A FEW YEARS OR WHATEVER AND YOU GO AND DO THIS TO YOURSELF HOW DID YOU EVEN-"

She screeches, grabbing Gasters face and yelling about recklessness and how dare he and does he want her to become an only child and so on and so forth, Gaster yelping as she yanks his skull down so she can yell directly at the cracks in his skull. He attempts to pull his head back but she's still yelling animatedly and the best he can do is just stare pleadingly at Archemedies, begging him to help. Archemedies, who is now assembling a makeshift splint for himself, just slowly shakes his head.

"How dare you be this reckless."

He adds, Gaster just glaring at him as Herman whips her head around to snap;

"¡NADIE TE PIDIÓ TU OPINIÓN, DUENDE DE MERIDA!"

And then turns back to gaster, who immediately runs through sixteen stages of mental diagnostics to check that he actually understood that. Why did I understand that? I don't know Spanish! Wait. It's called Spanish? Why do i know it's called- Gasters train of thought continues like this for a while as Herman yells at him, suddenly remembering being frozen in place and watching as this skeleton that's yelling at him right now sliced a semitruck-sized hellsent abomination in half. His memories suddenly begin to flash (well, more like drunkenly wobble) back to him, and his eyesockets widen as his sibling continues to screech.

"[F*CK I know you!]"

Gaster suddenly manages to yell, yanking his skull up and out of her grip to stare at her incredulously, his staticky voice slightly raw after all the screaming. I know that, but- but how? Why? Did we work together? Were we friends? Enemies? No, probably friends, she was worried about me, but why, how do I- Herman just stares at him a moment, then sighs, rolling her eyelights and replying sarcastically;

"Yeah. You do. Great job on that one, I can reaaaally see your big ole' massive brain- I'm your sister you idiot, of course you do!"

She yells, throwing up her arms in defeat. Gaster, upon hearing 'sister', slowly raises one hand to his skull and stares at a spot on the floor so intensely Herman thinks it might catch alight. Then his conscious mind finally figures everything out, and proceeds to neatly self-implode in on itself, Herman watching with growing concern as his eyes grow just slightly wider than even skeleton anatomy should allow.

"[oh god…]"

He mumbles weakly, deep in an existential crisis now, the foundations of his entire reality collapsing for possibly the third time in the last week. Herman visibly winces, and tilts her skull at gaster, watching thirty-five emotions ranging from "what" to "concern" to "more concern" race across gasters face in the span of a second.

"Oooh…everythings just hittin' you now then, huh. Magnífico…"

Herman mumbles, rubbing her own skull now. Gaster blinks, hard, shaking his skull and trying to pull himself together. It doesn't matter how confused he is, he has to figure out what's going on. He sort of manages to compose himself, maybe, a little- to his credit, he's a bit more used to his entire reality being rearranged on the third go-around.

"[Wait. No, I just- you are…understanding me, you can understand what I am saying, right now? Is that happening?]"

He finally manages to ask in a sting of static, staring incredulously at Herman. She just stares right back at him, in a way that begins to make Gaster question his sanity for possibly the seventy-fourth time in the last week. A short silence stretches out, before Herman slowly explains;

"Uhhh…ye-e-e-s? Because I'm your sister. And you, are my- oh damn it all, why am I explaining this? Dings, are you okay? Exactly how much do you remember about me?"

She asks cautiously, looking worried, her familiar face burning holes in his memory with every passing second. Gaster just blinks at her, stunned. What did she just- She just…called him Dings.

Dings.

Dings!

Dings!

He groaned loudly, and replied without looking up, still fixated on the pen and paper on his lap.

What?

He replied, a snort coming from the direction of his sister.

Get your head out of that book and appreciate my amazing creation or I'll nail y'a, that's what!

She yells, a grin in her voice. He sighed, rolling his eyesockets. What now? An open notebook rested on his lap, filled with scribbled diagrams, and he shoves the half-chewed pen into its ring-binder spine, resting his skull in one hand as he begrudgingly looks up. His sister grins proudly, and stepped to the side to reveal…

The hell is that thing?

He asked, a little impressed. Whatever it is, it's huge- How long has she even been working on it? Ten minutes? Geeze, she works fast. His sister grinned smugly, tossing a snowball up into the air and catching it again as she turned to the huge snow-thing and patted it affectionately.

A snake.

She states proudly, patting it again. Every scale is outlined, and he raises his nonexistent eyebrows, looking it up and down. Its fangs were icicles from the nearby shed, its stubby claws made from broken gyftmas lights, and every muscle inside its mouth carved delicately from the snow, seven beady eyes perfect snowballs. Wow. She really did get all the creativity genes.

Pfft, you don't even know what a snake looks like. They live on the surface, remember?

He scoffed, pretending not to be impressed, as all younger brothers must do, his sister groaning and rolling her eyelights.

Uhg, sure i do! Remember Mamá's story about that time she saw one of em' swallow a whole goat?

He scoffed again.

Because moms stories are such a credible source of information.

He replies flatly, and his sister sighs loudly, turning away. She shook her head, muttering to herself in Spanish and presumably leaving to go gather more snow. He grinned with self-satisfaction, and looks back to his notebook. Heh. She's probably going to give it wings now or somethi-

POW!

A snowball strikes him straight in the face, and as the memory fades, the last thing that he hears is the sound of his sister yelling;

"Gotcha!"

Gaster blinks, the memory disappearing as suddenly as it had come.

"[Woah.]"

He whispers, a little hoarsely, and Herman tilts her head at him- her face more than just familiar now, but one he quite literally knows as well as his own. One that, quite literally, is almost a cookie-cutter replica of his own, considering the fact he just remembered that one: she is older, and two: she is older by five seconds. She's been there for everything he's ever celebrated or stuffered his entire life, and him for her- how in hell did he forget? How did he function with that much of his mind missing? How did-

"Woah?"

She echoes, confused, breaking his thoughts. Gaster blinks at her, then nods, weary beyond knowing. He slumps back against the door, rubbing his skull with one hand and replying;

"[Dings. Your nickname for me. I think I just got hit with every single time you've called me that rolled into one- so, that'd be everything from birth to last Saturday.]"

He replies, and Herman barks a sudden laugh, shaking her head at him with a bemused grin.

"Geeze Dings, you can't ever have it easy, can y'a?"

She observes, still grinning that insane grin they share, Gaster staring at her blankly for a long moment before realizing that was meant to be a joke. Then, he tiredly grins back- huffing a laugh, and realizing that he is very glad to have her back. Then herman catches herself, and raises her nonexistent eyebrows as she asks'

"Wait a second, so, you do remember me?"

Her expression is an essay of tentative hope, and Gaster nods, smiling tiredly. Every single incredibly chaotic moment of it, in fact. Including the fact she once made a throw pillow out of spite and a t-shirt.

"[Yes, unfortunately, i do.]"

He jokes, and Herman's grin widens, the glow of her ghostly skull brightening as with a rush of cloth, Gaster is enveloped. Her arms suddenly wrap around his armless shoulders and squeeze tightly, hands curling into fists where they press against his darkened back in a crushing bear hug. Archemedies watches, with more understanding than any could know, as Gaster freezes in place at the first real touch he's had in years. Leaning your shoulder against someone else's is all well and good, but there's nothing like a proper bear hug to crush your errant soul back into your body, and Gaster has never wished for arms more then at that moment, when he is embracing his sibling for the first time in years, and can only stand there.

However, he still has his hands, and they do all they can to make up for it, the ghosts of limbs lost wrapping around Herman in return as two siblings condemned to gray stay standing there for longer than either of them will ever publicly admit to. And perhaps, it is like that they are happiest.

Together.

Then Herman pulls back, and holds her brother at arms length, staring into his eyesockets with about as much seriousness as she's ever had. Gaster blinks back at her, as she asks;

"Now. Explain," She taps his skull, or more likely, the cracks on them, "Explain," she pats his armless shoulder, "and explain."

She finishes, drawing her hand back from his shoulder and gesturing to the long threads of shadow-goop attached to them.

Gaster sighs.

But, as he opens his mouth to reply, he catches sight of Archemedies in the corner, still tending to his leg.

Wait, his leg!?

Gaster does an immediate double-take, Herman following his gaze as he gawks in concern at the shimmering blue cloth binding a piece of pipe tightly to Archemedies leg. It seems to be a makeshift splint, one corner still gripped in Archemedies teeth as he yanks the knot tighter. Gasters nonexistent brow immediately furrows in concern, and as Archemedies watches, unsurprised, Gaster very visibly becomes very worried.

"[A-Archemedies, oh dear I- what happened, are you alright!?]"

Gaster demands with great concern, momentarily forgetting Archemedies cannot understand a single word out of his mouth. Archemedies just stares at him with raised eyebrows, hearing only a worried hiss of static. There's an awkward half second of confusion, before Herman steps in to 'help'.

"He wants to know if you're okay, which you are not!"

Herman translates matter-of-factly, ignoring gaster's scandalized expression as she steps in front of him, grayed-out dress swishing.

"[Herman, I may talk on my own thank you!]"

Gaster cries, and signs, incredulously- impressively managing to translate exactly, his extra hands performing the rapid motions behind him in their own little modified dialect of underground sign. Archemedies snorts as they dissolve into bickering despite their earlier sweet moment, remembering how many times that exact exchange has occurred between the skeleton siblings over the years. Some things never change. He thinks to himself, chuckling quietly and shaking his gray head a little. He doesn't mind about being temporarily forgotten- it gives him time to solve some of his own problems. He waits for them to finish, tugging the knot on his splint tighter and testing his weight on it with a satisfied nod.

"[A-Anyway, Archemedies- what happened? Why is your leg tied?]"

Gaster asks worriedly, both out loud and in sign, Archemedies looking up at him and explaining;

"Well, to start, the good news is i did get to the lab-"

He begins, wincing and pausing to adjust his splint,

"-but unfortunately in my attempt to jumpstart the main computer- brilliant system by the way- i managed to somehow break my leg. Or sprain it. Whichever, I don't really care, either way it's not working right now."

He explains, the pipe still not quite aligned as he tries to nudge it into place with his tail, balancing on one leg as gaster gapes at him in shock.

"[wWait you broke your leg? How did you even get here!?]"

Gaster cries, hands translating frantically in the air as herman snorts and replies with a note of pride;

"Pfft, It was easy! I just flew him."

She explains, gaster looking frantically between the two monsters and gaping at them both.

"[B-but- You flew him!? And w- broken!? Broken leg!?]"

Gaster cries incredulously, confounded both by the mention of flying and the fact she did it while presumably carrying Archemedies extra weight. By all of physics, medicine and magical theory, that shouldn't be a thing she can do!

"[Y-you ran back there, how in- I- how!?]"

Gaster demands in immense concern, Archemedies just huffing and inspecting the knot of the splint.

"Simple."

He replies, tugging the knot tight again now that the splint is properly in place,

"I suffered."

Gaster just stares at him, Archemedies taking no notice and simply continuing to fuss over the splint, both skeletons staring at him with nonexistent eyebrows raised in near identical expressions of concern. They exchange a glance, Herman just shrugging, the two siblings exchanging a silent conversation made up primarily of looks, glares, shrugs, and expressions that basically equates to; 'how?' 'Heck if I know.' 'I'm serious!' 'So am I!'

Then, yanking the knot as tight as he can, Archemedies straightens up again, shaking himself a little and saying abruptly as he immediately heads for the door;

"Alright, let's go."

Both gaster and Herman blink in surprise, gaster immediately signing 'go? Go where?' At the exact same time that Herman, direct as always, yanks Archemedies up by the collar of his coat.

"Ohhhh no you ain't."

She says firmly, Archemedies immediately hissing and whipping herman hard across the leg with his tail, the skeleton refusing to drop him and instead just swearing loudly in Spanish as she hops on one leg- gaster looking between the two in alarm as they start to snap at eachother, Archemedies hackles already -

"[Stop it! Both of you! Herman, put him down, and Archemedies for goodness sake use your mouth not your tail- Angel above, you'd think I'm talking to three year olds!]"

Gaster signs, his hands flying through the motions and automatically switching into Disapproving Dad Mode, glaring the two monsters down with an expression of such intense disapproval it makes Herman immediately shut her mouth and Archemedies freeze, caught off guard. This is a side of Gaster Archemedies has had very little experience with.

"…What do you want me to do with it, bite her?"

Archemedies retorts after a moment, Gaster shooting him a sharp look that immediately shuts him up, an incredulous expression on his reptilian face as he blinks in surprise. Discreetly rolling her eyes, Herman sets Archemedies back down as gently as she can- which, characteristically, is not very gently. Wincing from impact, Archemedies raises one spined eyebrow at gaster, narrowing his eyes as he asks;

"Since when could you make the 'angry professor' face?"

Gaster just huffs a surprised laugh, Herman snorting loudly and cutting off his reply with;

"That ain't a professor's face, that's an 'angry parent' face. I am utterly convinced he inherited it from our mom."

She states with a grin, and Gaster rolls his eyes at her.

"[Have you ever considered the wild possibility I might've learned a thing or two raising two children on my own? One can only master the disapproving dad face through practice.]"

He explains sagely, and Herman gasps, looking deeply offended.

"EXCUSE ME - on your own!? I babysat for you loads!"

She cries indignantly, Gaster just raising his eyebrows at her and signing;

"[You and your husband babysat for me loads. You babysat once-]"

Gaster specifies, giving Herman a pointed look,

"[And you are banned from ever doing so again, because…?]"

He prompts, Archemedies just watching with his spined eyebrows raised as Herman hesitates, before eventually mumbling;

"…because Papyrus fell in the river…"

She mutters, Gaster nodding decisively and repeating in sign;

"[Because papyrus fell in the river.]"

Archemedies just squints at the two with a dubious expression.

"…I get the distinct feeling I've missed…a lot."

He mutters, almost to himself, Gaster noticing the note of regret in his tone and tilting his skull in concern. On the surface, after his original reaction Archemedies didn't seem bothered by how much time he'd missed- but nobody gets over something that big that quickly. The reality of this is, if he hadn't gotten trapped, he would be a…very old monster by now. Archemedies has spent nearly the better part of his life divorced from reality- and gaster can barely imagine the weight of all those missed years.

"[You have,]"

He signs,

"[But that only means more for me to show you once we're back.]"

He signs, giving his friend a reassuring smile. Archemedies blinks up at him- He didn't know gaster believed that much in their ability to get out of this place. …he probably doesn't, archemedies realizes, but he wants me to. For some reason, that's comforting. Though, by now, Archemedies can't really remember much of what being alive feels like anyway- He had his memories, sure, but everything but images has since long faded... Herman remarks something more, gaster replying, but archemedies barely hears them- if only because he is lost in his own thoughts.

It occurs to him suddenly that he can't remember how a lot of things actually felt- he keeps thinking about how much he wants to just close his eyes and sleep, but what does it feel like? Can he even remember what it is to be cold? What it is to feel warm…? Comfort, he realizes, is something long alienated to him. He can't even remember what it's like to have a beating heart in his chest- his own heart stopped long, long ago, during his first terrifying day in the abyss, when he ran because he couldn't think of anything else to do, searched wildly until… he shakes himself, trying to pull himself out of the gloom.

He glances up, intending to rejoin the conversation. But Archemedies stops dead before he can even open his mouth, his eye caught by…something. Gaster, about to retort to Herman's well-placed ribbing about his parenting skills, suddenly feels Archemedies tap him with his tail- the shadowed skeleton immediately turning and asking;

"[Arch? What is it, is-]"

His voice, and hands, cut off.

Archemedies is silently pointing to the corner of the gray room, where Crooks had been.

It's empty.