"Three, five, oh, one, two, five, go!" It blasted out of the stereo boxes in the living room as I started my workout with a set of press-ups, the high tempo of the song an excellent support to push me to a greater performance.
The air in the room was hot, the midday sun illuminating the room brightly, but I didn't care that I was already sweating before the first verse even started.
Ambition drove me, an urge to prepare, to get stronger, to get ready. For I knew that the dark lord wasn't resting and so didn't I. Well, most of the time at least.
"31G!" The chorus boomed through the house and I couldn't help lightly bobbing my head to the beat while my arms and legs worked for me. Physical exercises always felt good.
"Thank the gods for Hermione's little present.", I thought when the second verse started , "Thank the gods for cassettes."
It had been three days since I arrived back in Surrey and so far my biggest joy was exercising while listening to beautiful, exhilarating music. Which I did quite a lot because of the fun I felt whenever I gave my muscles something to work on.
My motivation only increased when I started having these odd dreams about a long and dark corridor with a closed, round door at the end. I knew that these dreams were connected to Voldemort, and I understood that he was craving whatever lay behind that door.
My conclusion? He was on the move. Latently, carefully so he wouldn't blow the cover the ministry had given him, but I knew that he was getting stronger every day. So I had to get stronger as well. Physically just as mentally.
"Three, five, oh, one, two, five!" The song ended with these final words and I sighed in relief as I knelt down on the yoga mat I used for my workouts, giving myself a small pause before continuing my routine.
"Alright, now Blue Monday.." I said to myself as I went towards the stereo system and fast-forwarded to said song.
I pressed play, returned to my mat and went into the plank position as the beat made the floor vibrate and I smiled, knowing exactly that I would manage around seven minutes of plank.
"Seven minutes of bliss.." I thought to myself when the first synth melody faded in, excitement coursing through my veins. Oh, how I loved this song…
When I was done with my workout I happily took a shower, relishing in the ice-cold water, before I redressed for the day and put a frozen pizza into the oven.
"Yeah, that's teen life." I said to myself with a grin and even after three days of my new liberty I still was overjoyed to just know that I could eat a cheap pizza for lunch. There was no way that I could have done that with the Durselys around.
I went to the stereo boxes and played ,,The Perfect Kiss" by New Order, it's length of ten minutes a perfect alarm clock to know when my meal was ready and I settled into an armchair, closing my eyes for a moment.
"Hermione, Hermione, how can I ever repay you for introducing me to music?" I mumbled to myself with a smile.
I never had been a big fan of music before, but I blamed the Dursleys for that. How could I be a fan of something I didn't know? And even when they listened to the radio during meals, it's not like I really had the capacities to actively focus on the music. I had to work my arse off for them!
"When you're all alone at night, you search yourself for all the things that you believe are right.." The lead singer's voice echoed through the house and I couldn't help but agree silently.
Yeah, the nights have been rough: Not only the dreams of this corridor or the constant nightmares about Cedric's death made me question my sanity multiple times, but also the feelings of solitude and isolation crept up many times when the sun disappeared in the west.
Should I be ashamed of myself for staying in Dumbledore's pawn for so long? Is my path for the future the right one to take? And is there any real hope in resisting the will of others anyway?
All those thoughts hunted me in the late hours of my days and despite my best efforts to not embrace these negative thoughts I had a hard time resisting them..
"The Perfect Kiss" ended with it's phenomenal bass solo and I went into the kitchen to get my pizza before I grabbed a plate and some cutlery.
After my meal I went upstairs to get Sirius mirror and my wand before I left the house for a walk.
I strolled through the deserted streets of Little Whinging and was quite glad for the silence on the roads, the blasted sun something good for once.
The asphalt looked hot enough to cook an egg and my shoes didn't do a good job reflecting the heat, which made every step quite uncomfortable. But pain never stopped me from carrying on.
Not a soul was sitting outside in the garden of their houses and it made my walk certainly more enjoyable, knowing that the neighbours all thought of me as a freak, thanks to my dear aunt and uncle. Oh, how I hated this street.
Soon enough I turned to my right and instead of seeing new houses, I saw the old ones and I sighed, reminding myself that every damn house looked almost the same. So I headed to the brook instead.
Luckily not too far away from here, maybe two kilometres away, there was a beautiful forest with one or two brooks in it, a place where I hoped that I could escape my problems for a few moments. And also get out of the sun.
"I don't even want to know how hot it is right now.." I said to myself as one of my hands wiped away the sweat from my forehead and neck, making me doubt that I had just taken a shower not even an hour ago.
"And I'm not even allowed to use magic right now.. Oh, a cooling charm would be so helpful." I mumbled under my breath and hurried to flee into the woods.
Once there, I sighed in relief, the sudden chill a welcome change to the smouldering sun and I marched straight to the brook. I wasn't surprised to see nobody around the body of water.
I sat down on a tree right on the shore, took of my shoes and socks before I let my feet dangling in the water, the blissful cold washing away a part of the stress that I felt..
Ah yes, this place might be one of the very few things that I didn't hate about Little Whinging. In contrast to the rest of the town it felt.. harmonious?
Harmony, a word often used to describe a feeling, but for me, harmony was a lifestyle. A lifestyle that others always wanted to deny me.
Voldemort trying to kill me, the ministry trying to frame me, Dumbledore trying to use me.. The world was full of idiots that only cared for themselves, without any compassion for the world around them. I wouldn't be surprised if this world would one day cease to exist, with all this stupidity on planet earth.
Yeah, I would even almost go so far to say that humankind was a disease. But only almost.
There were people that truly cared for the well-being of all living beings and didn't have plans that were to prioritise at any cost. People that saw a glimpse of hope on the horizon, a ray of light that illuminated their entire persona with such kindness that I thought it was cruel to make these men and women share the planet with those who wanted to see the world burn.
"Hermione, I miss you.." I sighed with a tone of longing and I couldn't help smiling dreamily when I reminded myself that my best friend was such a beacon of light, especially in my life. And she was everywhere.
When I used my precious cassette I thought of her, when I did my homework I thought of her, when I felt lonely then I couldn't help but hope that she would visit me soon and even when I just closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift off I eventually thought of her. Like right now.
"We are harmony as well." I said with a chuckle to myself when I realized that I liked the brook and it's surroundings because it made me feel close to my best friend.
Our friendship was built on mutual compassion, trust, admiration and tenderness, as gentle as a couple's intertwined fingers. Just harmonic.
"No, no, stop. The heat must be getting to my head.." I thought to myself as I quickly pulled my feet out of the water before I clothed my feet again.
I was determined to return to the house now, blaming the weather for my absurd thoughts.
"But why does it feel so good then when you take her hand in yours?" A voice asked me inside my head, a mere whisper that made my stomach twist unpleasantly.
"I don't know.." I told myself in all honesty, "But that's exactly what frightens me so about it."
As I marched back to Privet Drive Number 4 I couldn't help but feel that I currently lived in a state of bittersweet liberty: I had the liberty to do anything I wanted to do but had to suffer all the thoughts and worries that seemed to pop up in my head whenever I decided to do something.
"Yeah, life's not easy. But certainly had been harder before.." I told myself with a weak smile before I decided to take a small detour to the local football pitch.
It is not that I wanted to actually play football, but I just felt like having a look at the dry grass of the pitch and the slightly rusty goal posts. It felt oddly calming to walk beside an empty football pitch, though I honestly doubted that anybody in the world shared that opinion.
"Ha! I've got to play football with Hermione if I should get an opportunity." I chuckled when I remembered that my best friend played football when she was at home and I really wanted to see her skills on the pitch.
When I continued my stroll back to the Dursleys house I came across the ice cream parlour here in town and decided that it was time to buy my first ice cream in that shop ever since I "lived" here.
When I entered I wasn't too surprised to see a few people already standing in a queue, but that gave me more time to decide what flavour I wanted.
And although I never was an expert when it came to eating ice cream, thanks to my relatives again, I funnily didn't have to think twice when I saw all those ice creams in different colours and flavours.
"One scoop of hazelnut ice cream please." I said when it was my turn to order.
But why hazelnut exactly? I didn't know for sure, maybe because it sounded rather special, maybe because I liked the colour of the ice cram.. Sometimes there was just no special meaning behind a simple action...
Author's note:
I intended this chapter to be shorter than the rest and I also think that at least the next one will be around this size as well.. I hope you don't mind.
Though shorter, I still managed to enjoy adding a few side information into this - and it couldn't be more enjoyable for a New Order fan.
Yeah, the songs I'm writing about here are Joy Division's "Warsaw" and New Order's "Blue Monday" and "The Perfect Kiss". I'm sorry if somebody feels triggered because of my lack of restraint to include two out of three of my favourite bands into this chapter( don't worry, the third one will also show up at some point ;-) ).
I think the main topic of this chapter should be really clear, so don't feel the need to elaborate any further..
But maybe one or two sentences about the end: Hazelnut? Why that?
The answer is simple: Hermione's eyes are hazelnut brown. I know, nothing too spectacular, but I thought it had a really sweet touch in this mostly bitter chapter.
Also, have you noticed that Harry eats pizza with cutlery? My idea was that he so rarely saw that meal that he doesn't even know most people eat it with their hands - Though I must admit that I eat pizza with cutlery as well, hehe. Don't ask me why, it's just a weird habit.
As this will be the last thing I'll upload in 2022, I wish you all an early happy new year and promise to be back with a new chapter in 2023! From the author/writer perspective this definitely was an important year( also the first) for me and I can't stop stressing how crucial your support is for my joy of writing fanfiction. Praise, criticism or just comments on the chapters especially. Mighty thanks to you reviewers!
And if you haven't guessed it.. Please write a review for this chapter as well ;-)
NewOrderFan05
