"My love falls from heaven, to talk of this strange design" Bernhard Sumner's voice spoke to me through the headphones of my Walkman as I made my back home, a smile plastered on my face. What a game had been!
A three to two win for us against one of the best teams in our league was something that I was very proud of, especially as team captain.
At first it had looked like a clear defeat for us when the opposing team scored twice in the first half, one goal was a penalty mind you, and until the half time we then just tried to defend as good as possible, the early backlog clearly affecting our moral.
But during the half time I analysed the first half and came up with possible counter strategies to outplay our opponent. And the rest was history.
As captain I managed my teammates on the pitch, told them where they were needed, and I always kept in mind that our opponent was playing a bit more sloppy thanks to their two goal lead. But oh, did that backfire.
The first goal was proof to my assumption when the goalkeeper of the opposing team failed to catch a hard shot from the edge of the penalty area, so it bounced off, and all our number nine had to do was to gently nudge the ball into the net.
"Ah, Iris is such a great striker.." I thought with a smile when I remembered the equalizer: My corner kick, her header, our goal. Just beautiful team work – which couldn't be said about our third goal.
In the eighty-third minute of the game we got a free kick, maybe twenty metres away from the goal but with a very central position, so instead of me taking the free kick like it was originally planned, I went to Lucia and just told her to hit the ball with all that she got, because oh my, that girl transforms a football into a bullet when she touches it. And a goal is a goal, no matter what.
Her shot wasn't the most precise, but it was on target and far too fast to block, so we had our third goal and eventually won the game with that strike.
"Sports are just as much analysis as arithmency.." I told myself as I continued my stroll through the outskirts of London, the bright blue sky lifting my spirits significantly.
"It's so faaaaar away, and it's closing in!" I silently sang along and couldn't help raising my fist into the air as I did so.
"Yeah, if my home would closing in as well, then that would be great." I thought to myself with a giggle, it was 10 a.m. and the sun was already burning holes into my body, or so it felt like.
Normally the football matches were around lunch time, but since it was way too hot to play football at this time of the day, the schedule was adjusted so that the players wouldn't die during their matches. Though it was still blazing hot on the pitch and I certainly felt like a waterfall with all the sweat coming out of my pours.
After maybe twenty more minutes I was back home and I immediately fled under the shower before I redressed and ate some toast to tank some direly needed energy after my intense match.
I then made myself a nice smoothie with the blender in the kitchen and retreated to my room on the first floor, where I sat down at my truly comfortable desk chair, turned on my stereo system, inserted a cassette and enjoyed my smoothie to some quality music.
,,That's the way to celebrate a victory." I sighed with a smile before sipping at my drink. I closed my eyes and let go of my worries for a moment.
"It doesn't take a genius to tell me what I am.." The first verse started and I turned up the speakers, for once glad that my parents weren't home under the week. Well, not at this time of the day at least.
"Thanks for the stereo again.." I thought to myself with a smile, the grand present for my twelfth birthday one of the most precious gifts that I ever have received in my life. Big speakers, excellent sound quality, monstrous volume.. though I never dared to turn them up that much. Loud yes, but not the-neighbours-freak-out loud.
I glanced at my desk and couldn't help the satisfying feeling of seeing all the finished homework lying in front of me.
Carefully rolled up scrolls of parchment, quills and ink bottles were tidily placed in the back of the desk whereas the front was completely unoccupied, ready for anything that I wanted to work on.
To the left and to the right of my desk were the two speakers for my stereo system, both on a small table so that the vibration of the sound wouldn't directly be transmitted to the ceiling of the ground floor, and I really was glad to have two speakers and not "only" one. It just improved the experience of music so much.
After ninety minutes the cassette reached it's end and I took it as a sign to do something different now, so I took out the small tape and carefully put it back into one of my drawers where I kept a bunch of my music.
"Now, let's clean this glass.." I mumbled to myself as I walked down the stairs and coincidentally met my Crookshanks in the kitchen, who looked at me expectantly.
"When did I ever let you starve, mh?" I told my ginger cat before I gave him his lunch and he purred in appreciation and literally pounced on his "pray". What a house cat.
I cleaned the glass and also the blender so that my parents would find a neat and tidy kitchen when they returned home in the afternoon before I went into into a guest room on the first floor where a good part of my books were kept when I didn't read them.
Not only did I own far too many books to squeeze into one room, but I also disliked the idea of using all the valuable space of my own room for JUST books. My room was my sanctuary, and although books were something I loved, they didn't have the right to drive out everything else. So I just kept my absolute favourites in my room, which meant three full shelves.
I chose "An introduction to the principles of morals and legislation" by Jeremy Bentham, a philosopher with an opinion on morals that was.. questionable in my humble opinion. But that's exactly why I read his works: Because they challenged me to come up with my own answer, to create my own moral compass. Something I was intent on working on.
Especially with Harry's current situation and Dumbledore's way of treating him I saw it necessary to have a vast knowledge about morals and the reasons how a human might justify his actions with.
"And Dumbledore is a clear Nietzsche.." I said to myself with a dry undertone as I lay down on my bed that could easily accommodate two people.
"How it would be to sleep with Harry in this bed." I couldn't help but think when I realized how little I occupied of this bed and I blushed fiercely, my heart suddenly beating way too fast for my liking.
"Get a grip of yourself, girl! You want to read about philosophy and not think about your best friend's naked glory!" I hissed under my breath and groaned loudly when I realized my choice of words.
"Thank you brain, it really helps me with concentrating on a highly sophisticated book. Maybe we can put these hormonal thoughts away until the evening, mh?" I told myself before I flung open the first page of the book and just started reading. Sometimes forcing things was the optimal solution, and the brutal intensity of teenage daydreams could only be stopped by drastic measurements…
"Hermione, we're home again!" My mother's voice pulled me out of my state of concentration and with a glimpse at my alarm clock beside the bed did I realize how time must have flown by: It was already five in the afternoon.
"Yeah, coming mum!" I responded before I marked my reading progress and hurried down the stairs, not wanting to let my parents wait for me.
"And? How was work?" I asked them when I hugged my mother, a woman that looked so much like an older version of myself with blue instead of brown eyes. They were my father's genetic influence.
"Besides the fact that the surgery felt like a smelting furnace it was doable." My father responded before he put both of his hands on my shoulders, his hazelnut brown eyes sparkling with curiosity.
"The more important question is: How was your match, my little Pele?" He asked and both my mother and I rolled our eyes: He knew exactly that I hated that nickname!
"Daniel.." My mum sighed, which apparently amused my dad.
"Alright, just kidding. I'm a bad father for upsetting my one and only daughter like that.", he quickly made amends with me, "Though I still want to know how your match was."
"We turned a two to nil backlog into a two to three win." I stated with a proud smile and my father grinned at me brightly.
"I'm quite sure Captain Granger was responsible for the win?" My dad asked me and I giggled in response.
"My father and his nicknames.." I thought as I looked up into eyes that could have been mine if I didn't know it better.
"Well, you know me, dad. I'm not scoring the most goals, but I like to plan them." I truthfully answered him and he chuckled.
"You know, with a sports girl like you I'm not even regretting my decision to not have a boy as my child." My dad jested and my mother slapped his forearm lightly.
"Daniel! You'll scare away our daughter with that humour of yours. And you know how little time we can spend with her these days." My mum scolded him but his grin only grew.
"Am I not allowed to show affection for our daughter, Jane?" Dad pouted with her, which made me giggle.
"Yes, that's exactly my childhood summed up in one conversation. Dad bringing his jokes, mum doesn't like them and that only encourages him to bring them again.." I thought with a broad smile.
"Sometimes I wonder why I married you.." Mum sighed as she shook her head before heading into the kitchen, my father and I following her lead.
"Well, I know exactly why I married you: Because you're an amazing, smart, compassionate, honest and so very beautiful woman." He told my mother with an enamoured smile and I felt very embarrassed to witness this.. sweet talking.
"Ugh, please dad, not in front of me." I groaned and was surprised when my mother turned around to face me.
"You may hate it now, but believe me, should a certain Harry Potter one day talk to you like that, you'll love it and thank him for his words like this.." She told me before giving my father a peck on the lips and I honestly didn't want to know what colour currently graced my cheeks. Violet? Purple?
"He is just my best friend, when will you guys stop teasing me like that?!" I exclaimed and my parents shot each other a knowing glance.
"Just the best friend you're feeling physically attracted to?" My mother countered with a smirk.
"Just the best friend you write about half of all your letters to us?" My father continued.
"Just the best friend you talk about for hours ever since three years?" They said in unison and I felt like leaving the country the very next second. But I was a proud lioness of house Gryffindor, I stood my ground, no matter what.
"I don't know how to name this form of relationship we have, but he's not my boyfriend or something like that.." I admitted and my dad shrugged his shoulders.
"Ask him out and see where things might go. There's nothing that can go wrong: If you realize that you two wouldn't work together as a couple then that's okay, but if it blossoms you'll never regret it." He said with such ease and yet it felt like a really good piece of advice.
If there was one thing that made me feel privileged then it was how I could talk about EVERYTHING with my parents: It's not only that I was a bad at hiding my emotions but I also entrusted my parents with my emotional turmoil, I didn't feel embarrassed when I talked about delicate matters. That is how comfortable I felt around them.
"But, how are you so sure about that? What if I lose my friendship with Harry because of some pubescent urges?" I asked in return and my mother gave me a compassionate look.
"Oh, that's what bothering you, isn't it honey?" She asked gently and I nodded slowly.
"Well, I honestly don't have the perfect answer for that but if I think about it.. You told us that your world will soon be facing very hard times because of this dark lord that tried to kill Harry, right?" Mum asked and I again nodded.
"Let me put it like this: In hard times people show you who they really are. Maybe you can use that for your advantage and find out if you and Harry could become an item. But don't force the decision, matters of the heart need a lot of time to be decided." She advised me and I threw my arms around her the next second, endlessly thankful to have such a wonderful and brilliant mother in my life.
"But remember: Even if you let Harry conquer your heart, I still have to approve of that relationship." My father pointed a finger at me when I had released my mum from my bear-like hug.
I narrowed my eyes on my father in the same way that my mother often did and he held his hand over his mouth to suppress his snickering.
"You look just like your mother when you're upset about something." He stated with a rakish gleam in his eyes before he wrapped one arm around my and my mother's shoulder.
"Ah, I'm so happy to have you two in my life.." He sighed with a dreamy smile and I giggled at my dad's sudden change of demeanour.
"One happy family we are." I stated and my parents hummed in agreement. Yeah, if there was one thing I was thankful for then it was the way my parents treated me: I felt supported, safe, trusted.. and loved above everything else…
It was eight in the evening and I was standing outside the house in the garden, watering the flowers and bushes with a garden hose to ensure the survival of our plants, whilst my parents were watching the news in the living room.
I had opted myself to do that job, not only because I really liked some of our flowers, but also to make sure my dad didn't start an argument with the neighbours again.
"Why do men always have to see EVERYTHING as a competition?" I asked myself when I remembered how my father had loudly argued with our neighbour about who had the greener garden and I shook my head when I recalled how my father had accused Mr Brown of using paint to make his grass look greener.
"I wonder if Harry sees everything as some kind of competition.." I thought as I absently watered our roses.
"Good evening, Miss Granger." The voice of Albus Dumbledore suddenly ripped me out of my thoughts and I startled a bit, turning around in one swift motion and almost pointing the water hose at the headmaster. Accidentally, of course.
"Professor Dumbledore!" I exclaimed when I had quickly turned off the water hose to prevent wasting water. With a summer this dry, every saved drop of water was important.
The headmaster looked around the garden for a moment, a light smile on his face as his long beard shimmered in the evening sun.
"I have some good news for you, Miss Granger. Not only did I realize the wrongness of my actions in the past, but also decided that it's time to let Harry be the boy I never allowed him to be.", Dumbledore explained with a sad tone, "I will forever be grateful for your honest words, for they have opened my eyes."
"You honour me, sir. Though I sense a different reason for that realization than one would presumably expect." I told him and couldn't suppress the suspicious tone in my voice. He was a Nietzsche after all.
"I'll be frank with you: My change of heart is not something that I have done because I realized how much pain I have inflicted on Harry, but rather because I've accepted that my plans were doomed to fail with the latest developments. I have goals that I want to see accomplished, and if I need to change in order to do so, then.. well, as hard as it can be, I have no other choice but to adapt." The headmaster explained and I gave him a firm nod.
"Now you see me as I am. It's up to you how you judge me from now on." He told me and I crossed my arms in front of my chest.
"In a book you would be a really grey character. And that's exactly how I see you: Your goals are good, but your means to achieve them are cruel." I stated and the headmaster chuckled lightly.
"Well, wouldn't you agree that all humans are grey characters?" He asked me and I didn't have to think about my response.
"Yes, we all are. Though there are different shades of grey, as you're well aware." I countered and Dumbledore nodded.
"Indeed, Miss Granger. Now, I'm getting off-topic again. Around three hours ago I spoke with Harry about my decision whether you might visit him or not and also admitted to him that I was wrong. Long story short, I want to regain Harry's trust, as our cooperation is crucial for Voldemort's defeat, and he said it would be a good start if you could visit him. Naturally I agreed, seeing how close the two of you are." He said and my jaw dropped, the happiness that welled up inside of me at his words simply too much for my neural system.
"Thank you, sir." I almost sighed in pure gratitude and couldn't help one or two tears of joy escaping my eyes.
"I'll see Harry again tomorrow!" I couldn't stop repeating in my head over and over again.
"You are welcome, Miss Granger." The headmaster kindly responded with a twinkle in his eyes before he rummaged through the bag hanging down his left shoulder.
"Now, last thing for today: Harry himself didn't tell me about this, but as we both know he has a connection with the dark lord. It therefore is possible for Harry to see the world through Voldemort's eyes when he is asleep. A most unpleasant experience, if I had to guess. But there are ways to shield the mind from such exterior influences. This art is known as occlumency." Dumbledore explained as he revealed three books from his bag and handed them to me.
"Knowing how much you enjoy to teach your fellow students something, I thought you might be willing to teach Harry how to shield his mind from Voldemort." He more or less asked me and I nodded with a smile.
"Of course I'll teach him. But why won't you is the question?" I replied and Dumbledore chuckled sadly.
"I'm afraid that the student needs to trust his teacher if he wants to effectively learn this skill." He remarked and I immediately got his hint.
"I assume you don't need Harry's address?" The headmaster asked after a few seconds of silence and I shook my head.
"Good. I've already told Harry to expect you by midday tomorrow, so don't worry: He is informed." Dumbledore stated with a wink and I blushed, not liking how predictable it was to see that I would visit my best friend as soon as possible.
"And be assured: There is still a lot to be discussed and done. I don't take it lightly to repair what I have foolishly destroyed in the past." He announced and stepped away from the fence that had separated us the entire time.
"We'll see each other soon, if I had to guess." Dumbledore bade me farewell with a light smile.
"Goodbye, professor." I returned the favour and then he was gone, probably travelling back to Hogwarts to continue planning his move against the dark forces.
I glimpsed a few times as the consequences of this conversation began sinking in.
"Oh my god! Tomorrow you'll be at Harry's house!" I thought excitedly and practically ran back into the house, Dumbledore's books still in my hands.
"Mum, dad!", I called when I was in the living room, "I'm allowed to visit Harry now."
My parents, of course well informed about my best friend's current situation, turned their heads towards me with confusion written all over their faces.
"And how is that, honey?" My mother asked me and I grinned.
"Professor Dumbledore just apparated to our house and told me his decision."
"Appa-what?" My dad asked and I giggled lightly at his bewilderment.
"Apparating is like teleportation. I think I've talked about that two or three times." I explained and gave my father my typical teacher glare.
"So that headmaster with very questionable morals of yours just teleported himself outside our house and told you that you can visit Harry from now on?" He asked, a little bit less confused, and I nodded.
"He even gave me some books so I can teach Harry how to mentally defend himself against the dark lord." I proudly said and showed my parents the three tomes he had given me.
"Let me guess: You're gonna visit him tomorrow and force the poor boy to learn this mental defence?" Mum asked me and I nodded excitedly.
"I can't wait to see him again." I sighed dreamily and my parents chuckled with a meaningful glance directed at the other.
"Just remember what we've told you this afternoon when you spend your time with Harry, alright?" My mother asked me and I hummed in agreement.
"I'll definitely keep a close eye on how things develop. Though for now, he will remain my best friend. That's for sure." I explained and my dad snickered because of my response.
"Ow! What was that for, Jane?" My dad asked my mum when she had nudged her elbow against his rip cage in a not so gentle way.
"Stop laughing about our daughter's very serious dilemma!" She scolded and raised a finger at dad, which I took as my sign to leave, knowing that they would continue this "game" for at least for another five minutes. No matter if I was in the room or not.
I went back to my room and sat down at the desk before I opened the first of the three books and scanned the chapter overview.
"Alright, this is completely new to me.." I said to myself when I read the chapter title "Occlumency without a wand – An introduction" but quickly skipped to the first chapter, knowing it would be counterproductive to start in media res.
I read for an hour maybe until my mind couldn't stop reminding me about the fact that I would see my best friend again, so I just left the books on my desk before I lay down on my bed to help me concentrate on whatever I wanted to think about.
"I don't know what to do with you.." I sighed as I realized that I really didn't have a clue how to deal with the emotional turmoil inside of me.
"I'd like to have an answer right now, but if I force things then they'd only go direly wrong." I thought, my heart torn between rushing things and not risking a bit. Which complicated everything even more.
"And patiently waiting until I have my answer will drive me insane, so I'll do stupid things no matter what." I groaned and rolled my eyes: Why must puberty be so complicated?
"Besides, doesn't he like this Ravenclaw girl that plays Quidditch?" A voice inside my head asked and my eyes widened in shock.
"Oh my, I completely forgot that! Well, then it's settled: I'm just driven by hormones and he already has somebody he's interested in. We're best friends and I won't let my stupid feelings come in between this beautiful friendship. Don't be so self-centred!", I scolded myself, "Though it still hurts to know that he fancies the Ravenclaw. What was her name again?"
I then lay there for a few moments, fingers nervously tipping the mattress below and toes anxiously curling from time to time, until another thought crept into my mind.
"You couldn't stand being only the second-most important women in his life." I thought to myself and suddenly I was scared of the prospect that Harry might lose interest in our friendship if he had a..girlfriend. And now I knew that I would do everything to stop this event from occurring.
"Would you even gamble with his friendship to save this friendship?"
"I don't know.. The only thing I'm certain of is that I'll visit him tomorrow and that I'm gonna help him to come up with ideas that can prove if Dumbledore truly wants to keep his word." I concluded before I got up from my bed, sat down at my desk yet again, grabbed some parchment and began scribbling down my first ideas or things that might deem the headmaster as a trustworthy person again.
"Though I'll never completely trust this schemer again.." I hissed under my breath and clutched the quill in my right hand. He would pay for what he had done to Harry. That I vowed to myself…
Author's note:
Another quite important chapter for the further development of Harry and Hermione's relationship. I hope I managed to portray her emotional struggle adequately.
There are also some "Easter Eggs" if you want to call them like that.. Like the 2:1 for Hermione's team in the second half. Mh.. a keeper that can't catch the ball and a number 9 exploiting this mistake? I wonder which real life match inspired me for that little detail(Hint: It was at a WC).
Also, songs I integrated into this chapter are New Order's "Confusion" , "ICB" and "All the Way".
This was the last chapter for my Christmas holidays, tomorrow I'll have to face school again, so don't expect a new chapter too soon. Though I'll spend as much time writing as I can without neglecting school stuff. As you might have noticed in this story, I like to include a few things that I have learnt in real life. Like the sequence with Jeremy Bentham's utilitarianism and Hermione calling Dumbledore a Nietzsche. I'll be so cheeky and not explain why Hermione doesn't like Bentham's philosophy or why Dumbledore is called a Nietzsche, because I like to challenge my readers a bit in unexpected ways - I hope you don't mind.
Now, today I've received another piece of really good criticism, but I don't agree to 100% with it's content. Which is fine, since different people have differnet opinions on the same matter. I have my vision for the characters and the shape and everything of the story, so I write it the way I want things to be. But what I think is often forgotten is that I have no claim to stick to canon. Surely it gives me some kind of guidance, but I'm not committing myself to strictly follow the rules and laws of the canon. So Hermione can have a death glare(and I think it's pretty in character) and no, not everybody goes silent when they receive it. This story is still young, and I'm planning to show different facades of the characters. But that takes time! And sometimes I think it's wiser to criticize when one has read a good part of the story and not just one chapter as it is rather hard to show multiple character facades in one part of the story. Especially in the beginning.
I hope you liked the way I portrayed Hermione's parents here and I'm rather curious about your opinion on that matter, so.. write a review please?
If your holidays are nearing it's end as well then I wish you a good start tomorrow and 'til the next time!
NewOrderFan05
