Author's Note: Guess who's back!

The next upload will take around two weeks.. Ha ha, who was I kidding? It's been 17 days since I last uploaded. I'll elaborate why at the end of this chapter.

This is the longest chapter for this story so far, so I made some horizontal lines for orientation. I know not everybody likes to read such a lengthy chapter in one go, that's why I outlined the "scenes".

Now, have fun reading!


I immediately regretted agreeing to Hermione's plan when I sat on a couch in the common room the next morning, my eyes still heavy with sleep.

"Dammit, the sun isn't even up and you're honestly going for a jog BEFORE the day even begins." I thought to myself and rubbed my eyes for what felt like the thousandth time.

"Isn't there something like a wake-up potion? Don't know how it's called, but I'd definitely take that thing right now.." I mused and almost closed my eyes, the fabric of the couch so invitingly soft.

"Maybe we should reorganize the schedule: Days with a jog in the morning don't have defence practice in the evening and days with defence practice in the evening shouldn't have a jog in the morning. That way I'll have enough time to compensate the loss of sleep."

"I see it's not a problem that you had to wait for me." Hermione's voice suddenly pulled me out of my state of half-sleep, my eyes snapping open immediately. And oh my was I wrong about my regrets.

Hermione wore a black sports shirt and black sports shorts, the dark fabric beautifully contrasting her creamy, smooth skin and the monster inside of me awakened at the sight of her apparent curves.

"No, it wasn't.." I responded, thinking that if this was my reward for waiting a bit in the common room at six in the morning, then I would gladly do that every day.

"You slept well?" I asked as I got up, giving my best to look her in the eyes and the brunette smiled lightly.

"Yeah, it was a rather good night back at Hogwarts.", She said, "And what about you?"

"Well, as long as I don't dream about anything related to Voldemort I like to call it a good night. So yes, I had a good one." I explained and had to suppress a small smirk.

"I actually had a VERY good night, babe."

"How often do you see his mind now after quite a bit of occlumency training?" She didn't give me time to think about the fact that I just had used a pet name for her in my head and my mind rattled for an answer.

"Uh, it's not too often, I think. More or less once a week, and that's pretty good when I compare it to the start of the holidays.", I sincerely stated before another thing popped into my mind, "But that's not all: My nightmares in general aren't that frequent any more as well.. I guess the training is paying off."

"Yes, I truly think it is. As your teacher I'm really proud of you." Hermione then gave me a kiss on both cheeks and I enjoyed the way she had to go on her tiptoes to do so.

"That's good morning, by the way."

We laughed together as we exited the common room and made our way to the castle grounds, the familiar sight of the Scottish landscape covered in the orange rays of the morning sun putting a smile on my face once we got outside.

"No matter how hard the times, this view still makes me smile." I sighed and looked at my best friend, her expression mirroring mine.

"Yeah, it really is a magical place. Quite literally so." She said as we began picking up our tempo and I chuckled.

"I like your sense of humour, 'Mione." I told her and her smile widened.

"Thanks. Though I hope you agree with me when I say that a pun isn't a heavy hitter." She said and I grinned.

"Yeah, you amuse me with far more than just your puns." I stated and her eyes narrowed on mine.

"I amuse you, Mr. Potter?"

"Yeah, your height amuses me." I snickered and received a slap on my forearm for it.

"Well c'mon, it IS funny when you ask me to get you something because it's out of your reach. Not that I'm making fun of you, no, I'd never dare, but.. I don't know, it's probably a boys thing." I told her and she snorted.

"Yeah, I guess so. All you boys care about is size!" She said with a raised voice and I gave my best to not break out in laughter.

"Oh my, she shouldn't have said that." I thought to myself and glanced at her: If she interpreted her own message in the way I just did, then she was doing a damn good job to not show it.

"Hey, you can't just insult my entire kind like that! Besides, it's not even true." I defended the male population and Hermione giggled.

"Your KIND? Now you're amusing me, Mr. Potter." She said with a small grin and I smirked challengingly.

"Yeah, the kind that has long legs and can run faster than yours, Granger." I retorted before running away from her, the cool wind passing my face.

"Hey, that's unfair!" I heard her yelling behind me as I laughed at my own childish silliness. With her I didn't give a damn about how immature I behaved…

It felt good to back at school. There always was something that distracted me, kept me from thinking too much about how I hated a good part of society. It also stopped me from self-pitying myself.

Not that I did it often, no, but it happened and that is the crucial point: Lots of people don't pity themselves even once, I do it occasionally.

But could I be blamed? Me, on whose shoulders the world's fate rested, me, who had to fight Lord Voldemort and win if I wanted to survive? Without a doubt, my chances to find happiness in life were slim. Much slimmer than anybody else's – especially when one had a certain toad-like ministry witch teaching classes.

"Now Harry, once again: DON'T let her provocations get to you." Hermione, who was sitting next to me on the bench in the defence classroom, instructed with a firm tone.

It was the first Tuesday afternoon at Hogwarts, and I quickly decided that the upcoming two hours would be the worst of the week. Well, next to the fourth and fifth lesson on Thursday, which also were her classes.

"I can't guarantee anything." I said with gritted teeth as I pulled out the material needed for the horror lessons.

It didn't take long for Umbridge to enter the classroom, and the first thing she did was burning a magical paper plane that looked like a broom.

"I will not tolerate any childish nonsense in this classroom, Mr. Finnigan." Umbridge told the Gryffindor boy with her stupid smile and I already felt the need to kick a chair just by looking at her.

"Alright, now I'm on your side in this moment.", I thought to myself, despite the obvious and hopefully temporary dislike between the two of us, "Anybody who is HER enemy is my friend.."

"As Mr. Finnigan just demonstrated, the student body consists of countless, undisciplined boys and girls that one day will ruin our society IF they should continue their.. barbaric habits in the long term." Umbridge was at the front of the classroom, looking at us like we were inferior beings, "But that is why I am here. I am here to help you becoming a better person."

"Yeah, I bet everything I own that her help means becoming a miniature version of herself." I silently mused, infuriated by her brazenness.

"The ministry has sent me to Hogwarts to ensure that young witches and wizards not only learn discipline, but also so that you all have a competent teacher in a subject that previously lacked expertise." She explained with her high-pitched voice and eyed all of us before continuing.

"I was informed that since Quirinius Quirrell stopped teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts at this school, the quality of teaching in this subject drastically decreased. In your second year you were taught by Gilderoy Lockhart, a fraud that couldn't do more than obliviating himself. In your third year you were taught by Remus Lupin, a werewolf that.."

"Professor Lupin was the best teacher we ever had at this school!" Dean suddenly interrupted, and everybody seemed to be too surprised to react, but a few seconds later the majority of Gryffindors were loudly voicing or gesturing their agreement. I of course gave my best to make Umbridge see how unwanted she was in this classroom.

"Silence!" She commanded with a shrill voice and everybody quieted down, the frequency of her tone hurt in the ears.

"As I was saying, Remus Lupin is a werewolf, a dangerous creature classified by the ministry to be inferior to a normal human being." I clenched my fists until they felt numb, the insult triggering a rage inside of me that was consuming. I could swear my eyes were black with hatred right now.

"In your forth year, Alastor Moody taught this class, an auror known for his paranoia and his tendency to resist the rules and laws of the ministry." She continued and her gaze travelled across the room, challenging everybody to suffer the consequences of speaking up without explicit permission.

"I daresay we have a lot of work ahead of us. After all, the fifth year at Hogwarts may well decide your future career, depending on the results of your OWL's. That is why you must study as hard as you can. It won't be easy catching up to the level of an attending fifth-grader that received the proper education ever since first year, but the rewards.. are promising." Umbridge giggled at the end of her lecture before instructions magically appeared on the board:

Course aims of the fifth year curriculum

1) Getting to know and understanding the principles of defensive magic

2) Learning to recognize and identify situations in which defensive magic can be used legally

3) Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use

4) Exam preparation

"Of course. It's just as Sirius and Dumbledore said.." I thought and couldn't explain why I still felt disappointed when I knew that things would turn out this way.

"Now, why is nobody writing that down? AND WANDS AWAY!" She shouted when she spotted Ron with his wand on the desk, almost making me feel bad for him. Almost.

The Weasley's cheeks turned as red as his hair as the rest of the class began putting their wands away and began writing down her stupid curriculum.

"My dear Voldemort, I hope you die from the joy you must feel when you are informed how few we learn to resist you." I sarcastically mused and glanced towards the watch at the back of the classroom.

"I swear, this felt like more than five minutes.." I growled when I realized how little time has passed in this torturous place.

Luckily, her curriculum wasn't too grand, so it didn't take long until the class was looking up to the board again.

"To get you started, I want you to read the first chapter of "Defensive Magical Theory" by Wilbert Slinkhard and answer the following questions." Again the new instructions appeared on the board and I started reading, taking my dear time to open the book and "find" the first chapter.

It was one of the most boring and useless texts that I had every read, even giving Professor Binns lessons a run for their money, and after a few moments my concentration was broken.

I at least read some lines like a dozen times before realizing that I wasn't moving down the lines, my eyes tiredly zooming across the page.

"For fuck's sake, how can the others.. stand this?" I asked myself, glancing across the classroom, and when my eyes met Hermione's face, I saw something I had never expected to see in my life: She wasn't reading.

Her gaze was firmly locked on Umbridge, her hand high in the air, but the ministry toad seemed to look anywhere but near her.

She noticed my bewildered look and just shook her head slightly, telling me that I wouldn't get an answer by her now.

"What is that girl up to?" I asked myself as I watched Hermione, which turned out to be far more enjoyable than reading that blasted propaganda paper.

From the corner of my eyes I could see other students soon following my lead, and after a few minutes nobody was reading any more. All eyes were on Hermione.

"Do you have a question about the chapter, Miss Granger?" Umbridge asked at one point when she couldn't ignore my best friend any longer, and I assumed she knew her name from the hearing in august.

"No, professor. I have a question about your course aims."

"My COURSE AIMS?!", The toad-like witch laughed with her girlish voice as she shot Hermione a nasty glare, "I think there is nothing that needs to be clarified about my course aims."

"Well, I think there is something. Pardon me if I misunderstood your course aims, but for a second it sounded like we aren't going to learn how to use defensive magic at all." The cunning brunette said, and I noticed she was phrasing her statement in a similar manner to Umbridge's statement at my hearing.

"Oh my, counter of the century." I thought to myself with a small smirk as I watched how some colour was drained from my nemesis face.

"Use defensive magic? Why should you need to use defensive magic in my classroom, Miss Granger?" She asked with her overly sweet tone.

"Because all subjects consist of a theoretical and a practical part. Not practising defensive magic in your classroom is the equivalent to not brewing potions in Professor Snape's class." She retorted and Umbridge gave my best friend a sad smile.

"My dear, you're a fifteen-year-old girl with no qualifications, and yet you dare to criticise my methods of teaching. If I say there is no need to practice defensive magic in this classroom, then it is unnecessary."

"Yeah, but maybe there's need for them outside of school?!" Neville spoke up and Umbridge immediately directed her gaze on the Gryffindor boy.

"Students will raise their hand before they speak in my class!" She shouted, her face slowly becoming as pink as her clothes.

"Yes, Mr.?"

"Longbottom."

"I get your point that nobody will attack us in school, but what about all the crazy things out there? Don't we.."

"Poor boy, there is nobody out there who would try to hurt children." Umbridge said with an innocence that just made me snap. I slammed my fist on the desk, the impact leaving a dent in the wood.

"YES THERE IS!" I growled as I heard gasps from all sides, Hermione's hand immediately brushing the side of my thigh, letting me know that my actions would have consequences.

"TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Umbridge shouted, but that didn't stop me. No, quite the contrary.

"So the teachers at Hogwarts now take points for saying the truth?!" I exclaimed and only with a lot of efforts did I manage to not draw my wand and hex her into oblivion.

The class became silent enough to make out every gulp and uncomfortable shift on a chair, the teacher's eyes as cold as ice as they met mine.

"And what truth would that be?"

"Lord Voldemort is back and you know it. The ministry is just too scared to admit it." I growled back in a dangerous and silent voice, all the colour now gone from Umbridge's face.

"That makes detention, Mr. Potter.", She almost whispered before resuming, "Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I imagined. But let me clarify something for you: You have been told that a certain dark wizard is back from the dead, gathering his forces to subjugate this fine society. This. Is. A. Lie."

"It's not! I saw him, I fought him!"

"Twenty more points from Gryffindor." Umbridge said in what sounded like a sing-sang voice, the mere thought of her enjoying to punish students repelling to no end.

"The Ministry of Magic guarantees you that there is no reason to be alarmed. There is no dark wizard trying to hurt you, and Mr. Potter's statement is a lie." The toad-like teacher gave us her carcinogenic smile and I jumped up from my chair, all kinds of hatred, anger, wrath and fury exploding in my veins like dynamite busting through stone.

"So Cedric Diggory just died on his own then, hm? I saw the light leaving his eyes as LORD VOLDEMORT killed him with the Avada Kedavra, I was there when he laughed about killing Cedric!" I exclaimed, my voice thick with emotions as the pictures of that abhorrent night returned full force.

"Come here, Mr. Potter." Umbridge gave me her sweetest smile and I walked to her desk, my fists craving to punch the toad in front of me until she was nothing but shredded pieces.

The class watched the entire exchange in absolute silence as the professor began scribbling a short note that she handed me soon afterwards.

"Bring this note to your head of house." She instructed and I snorted.

"If you wish so, professor." I mockingly stressed the last word before turning my back on her and leaving the classroom, Hermione's worried glance for once not important at all. I slammed the door shut with everything I had, trying my best to give that Umbitch a last "Fuck you!" before she would have her peace for now…

The exchange with Professor McGonagall wasn't as unpleasant as I imagined it would be.

Instead of lecturing me for my impulsive behaviour, she warned me to be careful around Dolores Umbridge, something that I wanted to agree and disagree with at the same time.

That woman was a bitch, there simply was no better expression than that, and I craved to give her such a bad time here at school that she would resign, but at the same time I had to remind myself who she was: A well-regarded spy for the minister himself.

Of course, the news of my verbal battle with the toad spread quickly through the student body, and when me and my fellow Gryffindor friends ate dinner in the Great Hall I could feel even more stares directed at me, the whispering reaching an all-time new level of annoying and enraging.

"He said you-know-who killed Diggory with the killing curse."

"Who is he kidding? HIM fighting a dark wizard?!"

"He's nuts I tell you."

"He set his chair ablaze when he left."

WHAT? That was something I didn't see coming.

"'Mione, what are they talking about when they say I burned my bloody chair?" I asked my best friend with a hiss before taking a big bite from my steak. Chewing on stuff eased my anger.

"Well, when you slammed the door shut.. your chair began burning. I suppose it must have been accidental magic." Her cheeks took on a rosy shade as she shyly told me what had happened after my departure, making me look up from my plate.

"Don't tell me these people knew something about me before I did." I said but Hermione shrugged her shoulders slowly.

"Seems to me that's exactly the case." She admitted and I growled, my gaze wandering up to the head table.

"There she sits, that ugly toad, dining like nothing extraordinary happened today." I remarked and tried to kill the witch with my glare alone.

"Harry, you need to focus on the future, and not on the past. It's just as I told you.."

"Oh yeah, you of course know better. I wanna see you in my situation, Hermione." I snapped at her before I got up from the table and left my unfinished dinner, heading towards the exit of the hall.

"Fuck you, fuck you all." I thought as I caught glimpses of people talking or looking at me. My sole goal was to find solitude, everybody but me trying to interfere with my life, everybody thinking they knew the truth about me. Bullshit.

I retreated to a deserted classroom far away from the Great Hall, closing the door and sitting down on the teacher's desk before bringing my knees close to my body so I could hug them.

"I hate these people." I mumbled aloud, imaging how it would feel like to blast a Bombarda through their stupid faces, the worst side of me coming out of it's cage.

"Is this the part of Voldemort inside of me? The need to do something destructive?" I asked myself before my heart skipped a beat.

"Or it really is you that causes all the negative energy inside of you." The realization made me shiver and I didn't know which answer would be the better one.

"I take back what I said about this school year: This one is going to be the worst of them all.." I told myself and I shook my head in disbelief: How was it that things always got worse and never better?

I was at a loss for words. Nothing, NOTHING ever turned out in a good way for me and I felt like someone had cursed my life the day I was born.

The small phase of relative happiness I felt during the summer was so dull already, like a lifetime had passed since I said my farewell to Sirius and stepped into the Hogwarts Express.

"Oh Harry.." I suddenly felt Hermione's arms wrapping themselves around me, her head soon rested on my shoulder and I sighed deeply.

"Hermione, I want to be alone. I'm in no state to talk to you without saying things that I'll regret later." I sincerely told her with a gloomy tone but the brunette didn't move an inch.

"Who says I'm here to talk to you?", I felt her lips brushing the skin of my cheek, "You need affection, Harry."

Her words touched me deeper than I liked to admit and I closed my eyes, finding comfort and warmth in her embrace.

I just wanted to stay like that forever, her touch giving me a feeling that everything was okay, that I was okay the way I was…

"I'm sorry that I snapped at you earlier." Was the first thing I said when I felt better, the remorse in my voice as obvious as it could get.

"You weren't yourself back there." The brunette agreed with a mumble before her head was gone from my shoulder, warmth leaving my body the second she did so.

Hermione then sat down next to me on the teacher's desk, left arm touching my right arm, making me look up at her.

"Can you.. put your head back on my.. y'know only if you like to." I felt my cheeks heating up as I spoke the words, and my heart pounded even faster when the young woman in question indeed rested her head on my shoulder again.

"I guess you want to tell me something important when you ask such a thing of me." Hermione had a light grin plastered on her face, the corners of my mouth curling up on their own.

"You're right. I wanted to tell you how ashamed I am of myself for acting this impulsive all day. I'm not sorry for the way I behaved in Umbridge's class, but I bloody well am ashamed of how I treated everybody who had nothing to do with it." I carefully chose every word, not wanting to talk myself into a rage again.

"Harry, nobody is perfect. I know that I've told you it would be better if you learned to control your anger, but you were right about what you told me in the Great Hall: I probably wouldn't do half as good as you do with all this stress." She told me with a silent voice, making the conversation even more intimate as it already was.

"And besides, it was admirable how you stood up to Umbridge today." She whispered, her compliment making the hair on my neck stand as goose bumps washed over me.

"I thought you wanted me to not stand up to her?"

"That was before you stood up to her."

"And how did that change your opinion?"

"I realized it is far more important to fight for your cause than to flinch away at the prospect of losing points." She admitted, making me smirk.

"Even if it means detention for me?" I cheekily responded.

"That's the only part that worries me. But then again, she can't go against the school rules.", Hermione said before I felt her knitting her brows, "When do you have detention?"

"Tomorrow at nine p.m. in her office. And that unfortunately until next Tuesday." I told her with a bitter expression on my face.

"Oh.. I guess that means no defence training until then." She sadly mused.

"We can use today to find a classroom. And I might think we've already found one..", I chuckled and gestured towards the classroom around us, "Do you know if the teachers still use this room?"

"No, I think they don't. Looks quite dusty and all, if you ask me." Hermione said and I hummed.

"But you'd agree to practice in this room?"

"Yeah. Since it's a classroom nobody uses, I think we could somehow hide the door and get away with it." She explained and my eyes widened.

"And how would you do that?" I asked.

"Put a tapestry in front of it? As far as you've told me, the Slytherin common room is hidden in a similar manner." Hermione defended her plan and I nodded firmly.

"Neat thinking, 'Mione." I praised her and I felt her smiling.

"Thanks. But I wouldn't just hide the entrance: I'd say we try to make the room look as inconspicuous as possible when we're not practising. That way nobody can prove our guilt, even if somebody finds the room during the day." My best friend told me and I chuckled.

"Yeah, and if somebody finds the room when we're practising then we're just fucked. But that's the risk we're willing to take, ey?"

"Yup. That's the risk, but there's no need to increase it by leaving some books about defensive magic on the tables or not tidying up after our sessions. I bet a lot of things are going to explode and be pulverized." Hermione said and I grinned.

"Yeah.. that's always the exciting part."

"It's a pity we can't really continue our training with elementary magic without Dumbledore. There isn't much in the books here at Hogwarts about conjuring a storm of fire or a wall of flames." She sighed and I snorted.

"Not that we're really good enough to conjure such things.."

"Well, setting a chair ablaze without seeing it and without a wand truly is proof of some hidden qualities in you, Mr. Potter." She teased but my eyes lit up.

"Yeah, we didn't talk about that a lot didn't we? So.. what happened?" I asked and my best friend gathered her thoughts for a second.

"Well.. I'd like to say more but it's quite simple: You slammed the door shut and one or two seconds later your chair was burning. That's all there is, I'm afraid." She explained and I hummed, worried about the meaning of my outburst.

"This makes me dangerous to be around with, doesn't it?" I asked with hesitance in my voice.

"Harry no, if you think that I'm going to abandon you just because you set a chair ablaze then you're damn wrong!", Hermione fiercely stated, "Accidental magic at such an age, especially after four years and a bit of magical education, is VERY rare and I'm one hundred percent sure it only happened because you were at the absolute brisk of exploding."

"That might be true, but what if I burned a person, accidentally? What if I burned you?" I asked, my voice showing how afraid I was of hurting her.

"Harry.. you wouldn't do such a thing. Not even unintentionally." Hermione sighed and rubbed my back reassuringly.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

"Do you trust me?" She asked and I immediately nodded my head.

"Then believe me when I say you wouldn't do such a thing." She instructed and I sighed.

"Fine.." I mumbled before silence fell between the two of us…

"Now, where do we find some tapestry big enough to cover an entire door?" I asked silently as Hermione and I wandered through the castle a little while later, the brunette at my side just shrugging her shoulders.

"I think we should focus on finding a tapestry in general. There is such a thing as transfiguration still." She explained and I sheepishly laughed.

"Yeah, I.. kind of forgot that." I admitted and my best friend smirked smugly.

"That's why you've got me." She remarked and I sighed.

"You know, it really is a pity we'll only be able to start practising in a week. I'd love to blow off some steam right now."

"And make the entire castle aware of our doings? Not with me Potter. And lower your voice!" Hermione hissed when it was audibly another person was approaching us from the corridor we were to enter in a few seconds.

"Sorry, that was stupid." I mumbled as none other than Severus Snape suddenly stood in front of us.

"Potter, Granger.. Wandering the corridors at night now just because you can?" The potions master eyed us with dislike and I wanted to retort but held my tongue, remembering Hermione's words.

"We're patrolling the corridors since it's our duty as prefects, professor." The brunette lied and Snape narrowed his eyes on her.

"While I might understand the decision to give you such an.. award..", He paused and his eyes wandered over to my face, "You on the other hand are nothing but a disgrace to the position of a prefect. Getting yourself into detention on the second day of the school year truly is.. remarkable."

"As a prefect it is my responsibility to function as an example for others. I got myself into detention for telling Umbridge that Voldemort is back. I hope that others soon realize this truth as well, and even if it is just because of this badge." I explained and pointed to the crest of Hogwarts on my robes.

"Trying to play the knight, Potter? Let me tell you that I've known many knights in my life, and all of them failed in their quest to defeat the dark lord." Snape told me and Hermione rose an eyebrow.

"And what are you trying to tell him with that?"

"It takes more than a badge and a big mouth to resist the dark lord, not even to mention fighting him. But as arrogant as Potters are, they tend to feel superior and that their very existence alone is inspiring." He snarled and I felt my jaw tightening because of his insults.

"And if I should catch you two doing anything SLIGHTLY suspicious during nine and ten in the evening, I'll gladly deduct a few extra points from Gryffindor. Good evening." And with that he strode away, his cloak flying behind him in a way that made him look like an oversized bat.

"You didn't talk back." Hermione remarked with a proud tone when Snape was out of sight and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I kept in mind what you keep telling me." I told her and she giggled.

"Well done. By the way, I'd like to see his reaction when he gives you back your essay from the holidays. It's an E at worst, and that will annoy him really hard." She stated and I snorted.

"That man would still give me an A or worse."

"That would be illegal. And you know what that means." She gave me a knowing look and I rolled my eyes.

"And then do what Hermione? Go to Dumbledore and tell him Snape isn't assessing our grades correctly?" I asked but the brunette nodded.

"Correct, Harry. Now, weren't we on a quest to find some tapestry?" She then lowered her voice before pulling me with her. And the journey continued…


The next day was relatively ordinary, besides the double potions lesson in the morning.

Just as Hermione had predicted the other day, it truly was a feeling of purest satisfaction to watch Snape giving me back my essay without a single insulting comment.

Instead he was looking like it took him all the power in his body to not freak out, the mere thought more amusing than the entirety of my lessons with him so far.

"I can't believe it. I've got an O with a fat minus in potions." I grinned from ear to ear as I looked at my marks, the big fat minus behind the O only making things even better than they were.

"How badly he wanted to not give me an O. I think I've brought him to the verge of despair." I silently snickered as Snape explained that this year would be far more harder than the last four combined, but his words didn't impress me: I had a dark wizard to kill in the future. Potions was the least of concerns for me…

The potions lesson truly was extremely tricky nonetheless, but I was quite content with my results - especially when I compared my current skills to the skills I had before the summer.

The rest of the day passed quickly, lessons soon followed by dinner and homework, and before I knew it, it was time for the first detention with my nemesis.

"Would you mind going to the sixth floor after your detention? I'm going to use the time where you're with Umbridge to put up the tapestry and I want to see if you'd find our room without knowing where the entrance to it is." Hermione explained with a lowered voice and I nodded.

"Just make sure you don't get caught by anyone, alright?", I whispered, "It's quite a bit of distance from the seventh floor to the sixth."

Yesterday we had found a room filled with the most various things on the seventh floor: Books, chairs, tables, a gramophone, broomsticks and fortunately tapestry as well.

We never knew such a room existed, but we were extremely thankful that it did.

"There's nobody who could catch me when you are keeping her busy." My best friend remarked as she got up from the armchair next to me.

"Now, up, up! You don't want to be late." She literally shooed me out of my seat in front of the fireplace and I complied with a groan.

"Fine. I hope I'll be back here in the common room soon.." I mumbled and when Hermione and I walked to the exit of the room I noticed some boys glancing into the direction of my best friend.

"I suggest you don't do that while I'm around." I thought as I narrowed my eyes on one young man sitting at a desk, making him avert his gaze in embarrassment. Serves him right.

"If we don't see each other before tom.."

I couldn't even finish the sentence as she already wrapped her arms around me, almost pulling me flush against her.

I tried to not think too much about how soft her fabric-covered bosom felt against my chest as my gaze darted across the room, a silent challenge for anybody that was gawking at my best friend mere moments before.

"If anybody deserves this magnificent young woman that it's ME." I thought to myself, happy to see that all the gawkers refocused their attention when they met my threatening gaze.

"Good night Harry. But maybe we'll see each other before the morrow." She smiled widely when she stepped away from me and I did the same as I took in her beauty: She really was a striking young woman.

"See you around." I bade farewell and quickly turned around before I decided to stare at her gorgeous frame for the rest of the night.

"Alright, focus: You have detention with HER now. Fantasizing about your best friend can wait 'til later.." I told myself with a calming breath as I made my way to Umbridge's office, every step feeling a bit harder than the last one.

Eventually I made it down to the third corridor and knocked at the door of her office.

"A small excursion to hell.." I thought and waited for her response.

"Come in." Umbridge instructed with her sickening sweet voice and I did as I was told to.

I had known that office under three of her predecessors and was shocked at how drastic the contrast was between the past and the present.

"Even Lockhart's office looked more appealing.", I sarcastically thought when I remembered the countless portraits that narcissist had hung up of himself, "And not even to mention how bad this is in comparison to Remus office.. God, I miss third year."

Everything in the room was pink, the colour stinging in my eyes and I seriously was under the impression that I would suffer from blindness if my eyes had to bear this.. view for too long.

"Good evening, Mr. Potter." Umbridge greeted me with a toad-like smile and I nodded stiffly.

"Good evening, Professor."

"Well then, sit down." She gestured towards a small desk next to hers with a chair that looked more than just a bit uncomfortable before filling herself a cup of tea from a pink carafe on her desk.

I mentally smirked when I saw a piece of parchment on the desk belonging to me for the near future, daring to hope that my task was to write lines.

"You're going to write some lines for me today, Mr. Potter." She announced as she added a ton of sugar to her tea, and I struggled to resist the reflex to choke at the sight.

"And what shall I write for you?" I asked with a light mocking tone and Umbridge giggled.

"I must not tell lies." She said and watched as my fists clenched automatically at her brazenness. I could swear she relished in my suffering.

"And how often?"

"As long as it takes for the message to.. sink in." Was her mysterious answer and it made me suspicious. This wasn't a simple line-writing task.

"You haven't given me any ink nor a quill." I stated when I noticed that I had nothing to write with, and I felt alarmed: Something was definitely wrong here.

"You're going to use a rather special quill of mine for your detentions, Mr. Potter. There is no need for ink." Umbridge explained as she revealed a long, think and black quill from one of the drawers of her desk and handed it to me.

I then began to write what I was told to scribble, but not even after two words I felt a searing pain on the back of my right hand, making me want to gasp in anguish. But I didn't, quickly realising that this quill was meant to hurt me and that the toad in front of me would only enjoy my exclamations of pain.

"Is that.. my blood?!" I thought to myself as I saw the bight red ink on the parchment in front of me.

"That bitch is torturing me! Oh, I'm so gonna tell Dumbledore." I was boiling with rage again, my right hand gripping the quill firm enough that I hoped it would break in two and I knew this was a matter of importance to the headmaster.

I continued writing my lines with my own blood, knowing how happy I would make her if I stopped. I was a fighter. Which didn't stop me from writing very, VERY slowly though.

Unfortunately, time seemed to pass just as slowly, and so I felt like a lifetime had passed when I left Umbridge's office god knows when.

"Harry one, Umbitch nil." I thought to myself with a small grin as I recalled how frustrated she had looked when she inquired to see my relatively intact hand just before I left. It still had hurt tremendously.

I passed a clock on my way back to Gryffindor tower and saw that it was already a bit past midnight, making me realize that I couldn't go and see the headmaster now: It was far too late.

"And no chance to look for Hermione's tapestry either.." I mused, concluding that the brunette herself wouldn't want me strolling through the castle if it was against the rules.

"Is Sirius still awake?" I thought when I was back in the common room and sat down in an armchair, pulling the two-way-mirror out of my pocket. I always carried it around, a means of security for me.

When I made sure that nobody but me was still in the common room, I spoke my godfather's name and indeed, found myself looking at the face of Sirius Black after a few seconds.

"Harry? Is something wrong?" He immediately asked me with a concerned voice and I nodded grimly.

"It's Umbridge. I just had detention with her and she made me write lines with a quill that used my own blood as ink." I briefly explained and from the other side of the mirror, I heard my godfather smashing his fist into a table probably.

"I told Albus that woman is a bitch!" He growled, his face reddened with anger and eyes burning with rage.

"I'd say you go straight to Dumbledore and tell him of this. Screw the school rules." He advised and I chuckled mildly.

"I have my cloak, but not the password for his office." I said with a sad smile and Sirius groaned.

"Oh, right! Then I'd tell him first thing in the morning.", He suggested and I nodded firmly, "Now, how did you end up in detention anyway?"

"I kind of argued with her in her lesson about whether Voldemort is back or not." I told him and to my surprise, Sirius laughed dryly.

"Alright, I could have guessed that. What else would be reason to punish a student? Being nice and honest?" My godfather supplied and I snorted.

"Umbridge really is the worst of the worst. I've never had such a hard time coming back to school.." I admitted and Sirius quirked and eyebrow.

"Let me guess: The brainwashed masses say all kinds of shit about you and it annoys you."

"No, annoying is the wrong word: Sometimes I feel like I could burn the entire Forbidden Forest." I said and Sirius gave me a compassionate look.

"I guess that has more reasons than one, hm?"

"Yes, it has. Voldemort, Umbridge, my class mates thinking I'm a nutter, knowing that you are left alone at Grimmauld Place.. It all adds up in the end.", I explained with a sigh before a thought struck my mind, "Can't I come over to Grimmauld Place for Christmas?"

"Do you miss me that much?" The animagus teased with a wink and I rolled my eyes.

"Nah, just kidding.", He snickered, "Aye, I think we could arrange a family reunion for Christmas. I'm sure Albus won't disagree. Oh, and don't forget to bring your girlfriend with you when you visit me!"

"SIRIUS! Hermione is NOT my girlfriend!" I exclaimed and broke a sweat.

"Alright, alright, whatever.." My godfather smirked widely, "I hope she helps you with everything you have to deal with?"

"Sometimes I think she's the only thing keeping me sane these days.." I admitted and Sirius sighed.

"I can't stress enough what a beautiful, beautiful thing you two have. Keep her close and protect her, she's just as much a target for our enemies as you are." He explained and I agreed with a hum.

"Was she mad at you for getting yourself into detention?" My godfather asked with a curious voice and I shook my head.

"At first, yes. But she quickly realized what was at stake and why I did what I did, so she reconsidered." I said with a mild smile.

"And? Did you two already start with your self-taught lessons?" Sirius wore a rakish grin and I laughed lightly.

"Well, we at least found a room yesterday. But sadly we can't start until my detention with Umbridge is over. Our days at Hogwarts are long, and the free time isn't very constant, so we decided nine p.m. to ten p.m. was a good time to train a bit of self-defence." I explained and my godfather looked at me knowingly.

"You're using the special curfew rules for the prefects, ey? I bet it was Hermione's idea."

"Right you are, Sirius." I grinned before a certain thought struck me.

"Hey, do you have any news from the order about Voldemort's doings? Anything about the dark hall or the prophecy? Or the.. locket?" I whispered the last word, being very serious about not letting anybody else know about the strange heirloom of Slytherin.

"No, nothing besides the fact that he is still recruiting his forces.. Though we know quite a bit more about the plans of the ministry, if you'd like to know." His tone was worried and I gulped.

"Alright, what do you know?"

"Kingsley, being in the high position he is, has told the order that the minister plans to further increase the ministry's influence at Hogwarts." My usually so cheerful and relaxed godfather wore a look of grave concern as he told me what he knew.

"Umbridge." I stated with narrowed eyes, her name the only thing necessary to let Sirius know what I thought.

"Exactly. She's supposed to get promoted by the end of the week, effectively making her more powerful than the other teachers." The animagus said and I gasped.

"What? But that doesn't give her more authority than Dumbledore, right?"

"No, thank the gods not. I guess they could do it, theoretically, but I'm sure they're too afraid of Albus to do such a thing. He's after the minister's job after all, there's no need to upset him more." Sirius snorted with a dry grin and I followed his lead.

"Things don't look good for us Harry, I won't deny it. But I hope Albus can do something when he hears that you've been literally tortured by that horrible woman. Kicking her out of the school would be a massive step towards admitting that Voldemort is back.", He looked at me intensely before taking a deep breath, "There also is another thing I wanted to tell you: In spite of what will have happened at Hogwarts until the end of the week, I came up with an idea: What if you taught your classmates the REAL Defence Against the Dark Arts in secret?"

"What? No, I'm certainly not qualified enough for the job." I shook my head with a sad smile but Sirius didn't want to hear any of it.

"Listen carefully, Harry: You might not know ALL the spells an actual DADA teacher would know, but WHAT you know you can utilize expertly. Stupefy, Expelliamus, Reducto, Depulso, Diffindo, give me the name! I've taught you during the summer and let me tell you that you've got talent. But not only that, you have real fighting experience as well, and THAT is something most adults don't even have. You know what it's like out there and you know what's important in a life-or-death situation and what is not. I beg you, think about it at least." His voice was one of confidence and when he looked at me with pride in his eyes, I couldn't help but nod my head.

"If the light is to survive against Voldemort, then it's people must know how to fight back." Sirius explained and I chuckled.

"Sirius! I already agreed. Well not entirely, but I swear I'll give it a thought. And I have to ask Hermione what she thinks about this plan." I told him and my godfather smiled.

"Of course."

"Although, if I think about it.. Where would I teach my classmates? A classroom is too small when a bunch of people keep blasting hexes and curses all over the room. Someone might get hurt." I remarked and Sirius hummed.

"Mh.. good question, Harry. I think that's something worth thinking about in the future." He admitted and a second later I heard one of the dorm doors creaking open upstairs.

"Fuck! Someone's coming down!", I exclaimed as I nervously looked to the base of the staircase, "I guess that means goodbye for now."

"Alright, it was good to see you again Harry. Stay vigilant." Were my godfather's last words before his face disappeared from the screen of the mirror and I quickly stuffed it away in one of my pockets.

The steps of a person coming down the stairs echoed through the deserted room and it didn't take long until I spotted a certain redhead at the end of the staircase.

"Talking to yourself now, eh?", Ron grumbled with a mocking undertone and I gripped the armrest of my chair instinctively, "Thinking about what you can say next to get in the spotlight again?"

"I'm not talking to myself, you must have misheard." I denied, not wanting to let him know that I had a way to communicate with my godfather.

"And why are you down here at this time of night anyway?" I added.

"Nonya."

"What?"

"Nonya fucking business." Ron shot me a nasty glare before turning around and as he was to return to the dorm, I couldn't suppress a certain question.

"Why do you have to be so mean to me all the time?! Don't you see I never wanted fame, that I never took my money for granted? Can't you see that I'm just trying to be a normal teenager like everybody else here?!" My voice was raised and my tone one of frustration, making the Weasley stop in his tracks.

"I can understand that your life is uncomfortable, but so is mine! I'm not having an easy time these days, no, it's actually never been harder! You once were my friend Ron, and it's not like I want you back after the things you've said to Hermione, but I don't need more enemies than I already have! Why can't you apologize and be civil with us again!?" I talked myself into a rage and Ron suddenly spun around, his expression mixed with anger and sadness.

"Because you stole my girl. Lured her in with your fame and your money, 'cause that's what all the girls want! What does it matter that your best mate wants her, right?" He looked at me like I was the manifestation of the devil.

"You are not yourself. Haven't been since I gave the prize money to your brothers.", I told him with a cold voice, "Do you know what I just realize? When we looked into the mirror of Erised in first year, you saw yourself as quidditch captain and head boy. You always want the big things but never even move a finger to achieve them. And if you want Hermione as your girlfriend, you gotta get your head out of your arse, you dreamer."

The words seemed to hit him hard as his head turned as red as his hair.

"I. AM. NOT. A DREAMER." Ron said through gritted teeth and I knew he would have loved to punch me, though I was slightly impressed that he managed to restrain himself, before heading back up to our dormitory.

"This dude is insufferable.." I thought to myself with a sigh and rubbed my temples: It had been a long day.

I waited several minutes to make sure that Ron was back asleep, knowing how quickly he drifted off to slumber, before I myself headed up the staircase, undressed for the night and threw myself on the bed.

It didn't take long for me to find my peace this night…


The week of detention with Umbridge had already passed when I was informed that Dumbledore was back at school. Yes, back at school.

I was still so angry at him for leaving Hogwarts, now when he precisely knew a ministry witch was trying to gain control over the school, not holding back to hurt his students. But that apparently didn't stop him.

"Potter, the headmaster is out of school for the near future." Professor McGonagall had told me the day after my first detention with Umbridge when I asked my head of house for the password to the headmaster's office, and her words echoed through my head as I made my way to gargoyle that separated Dumbledore's rooms from the rest of the school.

I assumed he had left the school in search for answers concerning the locket and Voldemort in general, but why didn't he even tell me?

"He's the only person outside of the ministry with SOME authority over Umbitch and yet he chooses to leave all his students behind.." I mumbled to myself as the gargoyle guarding the entrance to his office came into view.

"Sugar quills." I said the password seconds later and the statue moved out of my way. Professor McGonagall had kindly given me the password this morning when she told me the headmaster was back at school.

The staircase spiralled upwards and all I could think of was how incredulous I felt because of my headmaster's actions.

"Enter." He calmly stated when I knocked twice on his door, the tone of my knocking already betraying the emotions inside of me.

His office hadn't changed a bit since my last visit, and I got straight to the point when I spotted the old wizard sitting behind his desk, a mild smile plastered on his face.

"Why did you leave the school?" I bluntly asked, my emotions throwing all politeness to the wind.

"Because we desperately need answers concerning Tom Riddle and what he may be up to.", Dumbledore responded, completely unfazed by my rudeness, "Please, sit down, Harry. It will calm your nerves a bit."

I did as I was told and intensely looked at the man in front of me, his sky-blue eyes completely unworried. That just made me angrier.

"You are aware of what position your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is now, aren't you?" I asked with a sour undertone and Dumbledore nodded.

"Yes, I am."

"And despite of that, it took you one week after her appointment as High Inquisitor to return to Hogwarts?" The sourness in my voice increased.

"Yes, it did."

"During the holidays you told me you would never allow her to break YOUR school rules and yet here she is, a Hogwarts High Inquisitor, and all you do is acknowledge it?" My hands clenched to fists and my jaw tightened.

"What can I say, the ministry has outplayed me. They've given her the permission to execute literally all the means necessary to restore law and order to the school, as the "Daily Prophet" phrased it." He defended himself but I snorted.

"And what a justification it was! They seriously used my argument with her last Tuesday as a justification to practically make her a dictator over the school." I stated and shook my head lightly. That "Daily Prophet" article from last Friday was the biggest rubbish I had ever seen in my life.

"Do you know what she did to me during her detentions?" I continued with a growling voice and the headmaster nodded, glancing to the back of my hand that still was reddened thanks to Umbridge's cruelty.

"I am aware of it."

"She tortured me, and you watched from afar like nothing happened? Didn't you say that you were done inflicting pain on me?!" My eyes narrowed on Dumbledore's.

"What would you want me to do, Harry? She is not within my reach of power any more." He countered and I gritted my teeth.

"Sack her. She's violated a bunch of laws just by the way she punished me."

"I cannot sack her, as I already told you once. And neither are her actions illegal at the moment. Dolores Umbridge decides.."

"You could sack her, you just don't want to suffer the consequences. I knew it would have consequences when I spoke up in her class and told her in the face that Voldemort was back." I interrupted him and for a few seconds there was silence in the room. Dumbledore then sighed.

"If I was to forcefully banish her from Hogwarts grounds, what do you think would happen?" He asked and I found it truly embarrassing that I had never thought about the scenario before.

"I.. never thought about that before." I admitted sheepishly and Dumbledore gave me a small smile.

"Care to hear my opinion on that?" He asked and I nodded.

"I think sacking Umbridge would.. radicalize a lot of things. Since the minister has made me his biggest enemy, he will use every opportunity given to weaken my position." The headmaster paused a second to gather his thoughts.

"If I sack Umbridge, Cornelius will see this as some kind of declaration of war. He'll order his aurors to forcefully remove ME from Hogwarts and my position as headmaster, only to ship me to Azkaban, most likely. You students would end up much worse with me gone from this school than you are with me AND Professor Umbridge at Hogwarts."

"But Professor! You could fight the entire ministry and win! Why do you surrender yourself to such horrid people?" I asked with outrage and Dumbledore sighed sadly.

"Because the true fight, Harry, is not fought with the ministry, but with Voldemort. We can't win a war at two fronts and whereas the ministry is cruel and brazen without a doubt, they are not nearly as dangerous as a dark wizard and his followers." He explained and I inhaled deeply. In some way I could understand him.

"So you let the ministry advance in order to focus your forces to meet Voldemort, right?", I asked and Dumbledore nodded, "But why don't you tell a soul that you were abroad, why didn't you tell me? I could help you, you know that."

"Because in times of war, the truth is so valuable that it always should be flanked by a shield of lies.", The headmaster said, "Information spread fast. The fewer know, the more likely it is that Voldemort will never know of my activities. And it's crucial that he doesn't."

"Were you at least successful?" I asked with a hint of hope in my voice and Dumbledore nodded firmly.

"Indeed I was. A small success, but nonetheless A success. No, I won't tell you more for now. Should the day come where we have a breakthrough, I will not hesitate to inform you, trust me." He chuckled when he noticed my curious look and I let my shoulders sag.

"Looks like I'm left in the dark for now..." I thought as Dumbledore then cleared his throat.

"If you don't mind me changing the topic I wanted to give you some advice, Harry: Since I am not able to control Professor Umbridge any more, I advise you to keep a low profile in her classes. As much as I admire your courage to stand up for the truth, I can't encourage you to keep that attitude with a good conscience." He told me and my eyes widened.

"You want me to give up the fight against her?", I gasped in shock, "I'd rather continue suffering than comply to her lies."

"And continue blaming me for your pain?" Dumbledore raised a brow and I growled.

"It IS you who is to blame for this chaos at Hogwarts! You didn't manage to find a DADA teacher, that's why we're stuck with Umbridge in the first place! For god's sake, you could teach the subject on your own AND be the headmaster at the same time. But no, you chose differently." I snapped back and Dumbledore shrugged his shoulders.

"It is no longer my wish to interfere with your life. Choose the path you think is the right one for you, but do not blame me for the consequences of your actions. At least not this time..", He said with a tone that left no room for discussion, "Now, is there something else still on your mind?"

"Yeah, actually there is: Where is Hagrid?" I asked and decided to accept his reasoning about leaving the school. Though that didn't mean I agreed with him.

"He is on order business. That's all I'm going to say." Was Dumbledore's short reply, a mysterious sparkle dancing on his eyes. At least I had my confirmation now.

"And while I'm at it, are there any news about Sirius trial?"

"The ministry at least acknowledges now that there is a request for such a trial. But of course they didn't start processing the request. And if you ask me, don't get your hopes up too high: We both know what it would mean if somebody worked on that case. It would turn everything upside-down." Dumbledore explained and I sighed with disappointment.

"Alright then.. I think that's it for today." I said and got up from my armchair.

"Will you tell me in the future when you leave the school again?" I asked when I remembered that I had one final question and the headmaster chuckled in amusement.

"I'll tell you if you need to know it. There is not much you can do with the information alone, right?" Dumbledore inspected me from behind his desk and I grinned sheepishly.

"That is true, sir. But why can't I.."

"Come along? No, there are VARIOUS reasons that speak against taking you with me. And it's not that I don't trust you, it is because we have to make sure Voldemort stays in the dark about my journeys. Your mind connection is too dangerous in that regard." He explained and I groaned.

"And what if I master occlumency?"

"Then I still would never risk your life. I cannot guarantee your safety outside of school and as you know it is vital that you remain unharmed." Dumbledore countered with a sad smile.

"I'm afraid that you are bound to remain at school for the time being. I know that you want to act, that you want to fight Voldemort, but maybe there are other means to pursue this goal.. Means that are school-friendly." He winked at me and I furrowed my brows: What could he mean?

"Have a nice day, sir." I bade farewell before I walked towards the exit of the office.

"You too, Harry. You too.." Dumbledore returned the gesture and with that, I was on my way down to the big portal of the school.

"I'm curious what Hermione will say about this.." I thought to myself as the door closed and the staircase spiralled downstairs.

I had agreed to meet Hermione at the portal after the third lesson and I was intent to not make her wait.

It had been a lucky coincidence that I had recess in my third lesson, because Professor Trelawney didn't feel well and thus didn't teach divination today, and that was exactly what I had needed to speak with Dumbledore.

Hermione on the other hand, hadn't been so lucky: She had Arithmancy in the third lesson on Friday, so no recess for her. But that's why I promised to meet her straight after her lesson: So we could talk about everything, just as usual.

"Hey Harry." My favourite witch greeted me the second she spotted me coming down the stairs, a smile plastered on her face and body leaning against one of the many pillars.

"Hey, 'Mione." I said and noticed once again how sexy the school uniform looked on her fine body.

"Not now, brain." I quickly banished the thought far, far away before it could do any harm.

"I don't want to send you away from me right away, but Angelina is looking for you." Hermione told me and I raised a brow.

"You mean my quidditch captain?" I asked and the brunette grinned in amusement.

"Yes, you dunderhead. She told me to tell you that she wants to discuss something with you in the common room." My best friend said and I grinned slyly.

"Uh, what could she want from me?" I asked coyly, not knowing why I suddenly had the need to make such a cheap joke, but Hermione giggled so it couldn't have been too bad.

"Now c'mon, before your late!", She shooed me away and I laughed before jogging away, "I'll wait for you here!"

It was such a small yet sweet gesture of her and I couldn't help smiling brightly all the way up to the Gryffindor Tower…

"I hope you didn't wait here for me too long." Were my first words when I was back at the portal of the school, my favourite witch still leaning against a pillar with her shoulder.

"Nah, maybe six, seven minutes.", Hermione shrugged her shoulders before giving me a curious look, "And? What kept you away from me?"

"What kept you away from me.." I chuckled at her choice of words.

"Well, Angelina wanted to tell the quidditch team to be on the pitch at four p.m. for the try-outs. We need a new keeper, you know. Wood isn't here any more, sadly." I told her as we walked out of the castle, breathing in the fresh air of a clouded September day.

"Must be exciting for you, going back to your favourite sport?" She asked with a knowing smile on her face and I grinned from ear to ear.

"Yeah, of course I am. There's nothing as thrilling as a good quidditch match." I euphorically said.

"Well, being with you is thrilling as well.." I thought to myself but chose to not ponder about the feeling inside my chest too long.

"Just make sure you don't get yourself injured again.", Hermione concluded before switching the topic, "And NOW I want to hear what really is important."

She was referring to my conversation with Dumbledore and I sighed.

"Kind of a frustrating matter it was, really. It's not like he is okay with Umbridge hurting students, but he told me can't stop her either. I disagreed and we argued a bit, but in the end I get his point – which doesn't mean that I'm convinced he's doing the best." I summed up and my best friend hummed.

"What did you say to him when you said there was a way to stop Umbridge? She IS practically immune to the school rules now. Unfortunately.." The brunette growled the last part and I mentally smirked: She was a lioness through and through.

"I asked him to sack her."

"But that's impossible!"

"Well, there's nothing like a bit of violence, ey?" I said and the brightest witch of her age narrowed her eyes on me.

"You suggested to forcefully remove her from the school? Since when do you like violence?" She asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Sometimes you have to play dirty if you want to win." I defended myself but Hermione shook her head.

"And how different are we from the ministry, then?" She asked and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't want to be a knight in shining-white armour and I don't have to be in order to be better than them!" I said with a raised voice and felt a bit betrayed by Hermione.

"You didn't get tortured by her, you didn't see and feel what I felt. I bet if you did, you'd be on my side." I told her and the brunette was speechless for once.

"You looked at my hand more than once, even touched the injured skin, and yet you think we shouldn't do everything necessary to remove her from this school?" I continued and my emotions built up again.

"I think we should so everything in our power to remove her, everything that excludes violence that is." She found her voice again and I groaned.

"Hermione, the real world doesn't give a damn about how things are achieved, but right, what do you know about that when you've never SEEN the real world before?" I snapped, and the next second she was storming away from me, leaving me near the lake without another word.

"This day is turning out to be the bloody worst of 'em all.." I thought to myself as I punched a nearby tree with cold rage, not caring that the rough bark left bleeding scratches on my hand…

What followed couldn't be described as anything but awful.

It didn't take long for me to realise that I had fucked up, and just before the end of the break I tried to apologize to Hermione, but she completely ignored me, not even giving me a nasty glare. I felt my world shattering into pieces.

Never in my life had she acted around me this way before, not once did she shut me out of her life. But now she did, and my life suddenly was losing it's purpose.

When lessons resumed I couldn't stand being near her any more, not when she treated me that way, not when she spat it in my face how bad I had treated her. I sat down in the far right corner of the room and tried to drown in my despair, not caring about what the lesson was about. At least it was Flitwick's lesson, he wouldn't pick on me for not participating in his lesson.

At lunch I tried yet again to apologize to Hermione, but she ignored me once again and I left the Great Hall immediately afterwards.

I took refuge in the boy's bathroom and spent the remainder of the break there, my sorrow soon making tears run down my face. I let them fall.

The break eventually neared it's end so I made sure to look as normal as the circumstances allowed me to look before I headed to the History of Magic classroom.

I again hid myself at the rear of the room, staring at the blank room and not even trying to write down anything Professor Binns said. His stupid goblin rebellions were the last thing I cared about.

As the rest of the class slept, I was trapped in a state of numbness, a passiveness that prevented me from becoming active and dozing off at the same time.

All emotions left my body, the only thing that remained was a vast and empty coldness, and if Voldemort himself stood before me that very moment, I wouldn't have even curled a finger. Everything was nonchalant to me.

Eventually, the lesson ended and instead of fleeing into the confines of my bed for the upcoming weekend, I still had to go through the quidditch session before I was finally released of all my duties for the week.

As usual, there were many spectators on the stands when I entered the pitch in my quidditch robes and I didn't even care to search for Hermione, knowing precisely that she wouldn't be there this time.

The try-out started and to my horror I realised Ron was applying himself for the position of keeper for the house team, my mood dropping even further if that was even possible.

I played without any passion, without any fire or drive. I just.. was there on the pitch.

Angelina fortunately didn't immediately settle on a new keeper after the training session, so I at least was spared of dealing with Ron in the house team for now. Sadly, he was one of the better candidates for the job, I had to admit that.

Instead of changing and returning to the castle however, I walked away from the pitch, towards the lake. The school just reminded me of all the painful things right now.

For a while I walked through the forest, the slowly setting sun covering the area in front of me in semi-darkness and the wind coldly howling through the rows of pines.

I came to a clearing of the forest, directly at the shore of the lake, and I huddled up on a rock facing the body of water with the castle a bit further away from it.

"I'm helpless, I'm stranded and I'm done here. I'm so fucking done here.." I said to myself with a bitter voice and shook my head in disbelief.

"Wow! Now you've really lost everything. Even Hermione doesn't want to do anything with you any more. I'm a nutter, I'm an aggressive, hormonal teenager with no perspective in life that sets chairs ablaze accidentally.." I wanted to scream but my body wouldn't grant me my wish, so the words came out as a whisper.

I didn't say nor think anything after that, my mind was blank, and I just stared at the view in front of me, watching how the clouds slowly disappeared from the sky, making way for the radiant evening sun. At least the sunset would comfort me a bit.

The sky took on an orange hue, the pines all around the lake suddenly so much more colourful and contrasting than they were before, and I could see the sun's reflection on the lake, the smallest of waves curving the radiant ball there.

Then, I heard the sound of crunching gravel behind me and I immediately jumped up from my rock, turning around and drawing my wand in case of an attack.

Hermione stood there, her eyes glistening with tears and quivering lips, shaking hands and pale skin. My numbness ebbed away.

No, it didn't ebb away: In the fraction of a second I felt like somebody had tossed me into boiling hot water, the scalding heat of my emotions returning faster than one could blink. I suddenly could breathe again.

She was back, my Hermione was back, and the next thing I knew was that I was wrapping my arms around her, or was she wrapping her arms around me?

The second we embraced was the moment we both suddenly broke out in tears, ugly, fat tears and intense sobbing filling the air between us.

"I'm sorry." We both whispered to each other, again and again, the awareness of my wrongdoings only increasing with every time I said the three words, and so I said them even more.

My right hand was stroking her back tenderly as my left was firmly keeping her close to me, a firmness that was born out of fear, fear that she might vanish again every second.

I gently guided her towards the rock I previously had sat on, and we sat down, her head instantly falling down on my shoulder, her arm draping around my shoulders almost possessively. Her nails dug into the fabric of my clothes.

"Can you forgive me?" Hermione then asked silently so only I would ever hear her admittance and I sighed.

"Can you forgive me is the question?"

"Yes, I already forgave you, now, do you forgive me?" She asked again, knowing that I blamed myself more than I blamed her.

"Yes, I do. I shouldn't have spoken to you the way I did, you only reacted. I wouldn't have reacted differently, probably." I told her and some more tears fell down my cheeks as the pictures returned of how I wronged her a few hours ago.

"This still doesn't excuse my immature behaviour when you tried to apologize. I don't know why I ignored you.. I just.. forget it, I was acting like a bitch." She spat the last word out before sobbing into my shoulder and I stroked her back as a means to calm her.

"Sh.. don't insult yourself like that, Hermione. We all make mistakes and you hurt me, there's no use in denying it, but now we're on good terms again.. I hope at least." I shot her a hopeful glance and saw a small smile appearing on her face.

"Yes Harry, we are.", She happily sighed before I felt her nose nuzzling my neck, "You were right by the way.. I don't know how it's out there, fighting the real world. It hurts, but it's true."

"I.. that was one of the rudest things I could have ever said to you. I regret it with every ounce of my being." I admitted and Hermione sighed again.

"Rude, but true nonetheless. I might have practised to defend myself, but never used those skills in reality." She remarked with a whisper.

"Speaking of defence, have you come up with a location where you could teach the others DADA?" Hermione continued and I shrugged my shoulders.

The day after Sirius suggested I should teach my classmates some practical magic, Hermione and I had discussed the subject and came to the conclusion that it was highly impractical as long as we didn't have a suitable location for such activities – despite the brunette's initial enthusiasm.

"Nah, I didn't. Though we still have our classroom for the two of us." I added and my best friend chuckled mildly.

The classroom Hermione and I had recently hidden behind a tapestry was now fully functioning as our training room from nine to ten p.m. - on the days we decided to practice, that is.

"Yes, but wouldn't you think that it would be better to teach more people how to defend themselves?" She asked and I hummed in agreement.

"Yes, I think so too. But we just don't have a guaranteed, Umbridge-safe room in this school. In the end I'd get expelled from Hogwarts if she catches us and then Voldemort will have an easy time killing me outside of school." I explained before I clenched my fists.

"Which brings me back to my conversation with Dumbledore, if you still want to know what happened." I said as the pictures of the conversation with the headmaster returned to my mind, anger beginning to boil inside of me again. I didn't know that I could get through SO many kinds of emotions in such a short amount of time.

"Are you sure you want to talk about that right now? No offence, but we are both emotionally overloaded, not that we.. say rude things to each other again." Hermione gently tried to persuade me but I lightly shook my head.

"I want to talk about it now.", I firmly stated before leaning down to her ear, "Sorry 'Mione, but I want to get up."

The brunette lifted her head from my shoulder and watched as I got to my feet and turned around to face her, the lake and the setting sun now facing my back.

"Dumbledore left the school to find some clues about the locket and Voldemort in general. It's not that I dislike him trying to fight Voldemort, but why does he have to leave when he precisely knows who terrorizes HIS school in HIS absence? He probably knew that I would snap in her lessons and he probably knew what cruel methods she would use to punish me, but no, he didn't give a damn about that.", My voice increased in volume the more I said, "And now he wants to tell me it's not his fault that I got tortured."

Hermione didn't interrupt so I decided to just carry on with my explanations.

"He even advised me to not speak up to Umbridge again, stressing that he doesn't want me to suffer, but then he doesn't do anything to ENSURE that I don't suffer."

"At least he is concerned about your well-being in some way." Hermione tried to point out the good but I sighed.

"Yes, I know he isn't totally neglecting me, but he's also not helping me either. And neither has he achieved any progress with Sirius trial." I said and I felt myself tensing.

"He leaves me to suffer.. he doesn't fight Umbridge.. he doesn't even put an end to all the people whispering things about me.." A voice in my mind said, and then, within a second, all the anger, frustration and anguish of the last few days erupted.

"HE DOES NOTHING TO REALLY HELP ME! I HAVE TO KILL VOLDEMORT, I HAVE TO SUFFER BECAUSE OF UMBRIDGE AND THE MINISTRY'S LIES, MY CLASSMATES DESPISE AND LOATHE ME, AND MY EX-BEST MATE HAS ABANDONED ME! THIS WORLD IS AGAINST ME, AND I FUCKING HATE IT!" I shouted and yelled like I had never done before, angry tears streaming down my face as I heard a nearby rock cracking in two, a result of my accidental magic.

"WHY IS LIFE ALWAYS SO UNFAIR TO ME?!" I exclaimed the one question that had silently accompanied me ever since the day I lost my parents. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

Just then did I realize that somebody was still around me to hear these words of vulnerability, somebody that witnessed just how insane I could get.

Hermione got up from the rock and slowly walked towards me, her tawny hair brilliantly glowing in the orange rays of a September's evening sun and her face shining so beautifully that it vanished all the pain and anger inside of me, before she draped her arms around my neck and nuzzled her head into my chest.

"You're absolutely right. The world is against you. But not everybody is. I'll be there for you, no matter what. Today, you've seen my worst side and so have I seen yours. But I promise you Harry, I promise you that I'll never leave you again. From now on, we are inseparable. From now on, we are a team." Hermione gently said before stepping back a pace to look at my face. And then I opened my eyes.

I felt like somebody had lowered a curtain, like somebody had woken me from a dream and that I was using my eyes for the very first time.

All the things she had ever done for me, all the care, affection and courage she had given me combined with the unwavering look of belief in her eyes made something thaw inside of me, something I didn't know existed inside of me.

I was in love with her. I was in love with Hermione Jane Granger, my best friend, the most attractive woman I knew, the brightest witch of her age.

All the doubt in my mind was erased when I looked back into her eyes, seeing how the setting sun reflected on her pupils and made her body glow. This woman was worth dying for. She was something worth fighting for, something worth suffering and living for. My life finally had purpose.

It all made sense now, why it was so thrilling to be around her, why my life felt empty and senseless without her, why she was the most important person in my life.

"Thank you.." I simply sighed with a hoarse voice as tears yet again escaped my eyes.

I closed the distance between us and pressed her flush against me, wrapping my arms around her as I kissed her forehead.

"I am in love with my best friend.." I repeated again and again in my head, the world suddenly even more colourful than it already was.

As I held her in my arms and enjoyed a silent dusk, I couldn't help but think how stupid I had been in the past.

Hadn't it been obvious that I loved her? How many times had I prioritized her above anything and everybody else? How many times had she been able to calm me when nobody else could? And how many times had I wanted to kiss her?

The truth was finally out now: What I felt for Hermione Granger wasn't something hormonal. It was love, born out of friendship deeper than any in the world.

Now I was the Boy-Who-Loved…


Author's Note: Now, we've got quite a few things to talk about..

First of all: Did you notice that the fanfiction website had a MASSIVE problem with displaying story stats and in general the story editing function? It took the employees of until yesterday to make the website work properly again. So I'm not sure if I would have been able to upload even if I had finished this chapter earlier.

Secondly: I was busy again.. On some days I didn't even manage to write a single word because of my schoolwork. Yeah, I'm taking it seriously.

Then we have the chapter content itself: Personally, this is my favourite chapter of my story so far. I tried to make it as expressive and vivid as possible, and I hope this paid off, especially during the last scene.

Yeah, Harry is aware of his feelings for Hermione now. It only took me over 100k words. I hope you can forgive me for this long build-up.

The next chapter will be shorter than this one again so you can look forward to an upload soon.

Write a review if you can afford the time and 'til the next time!

NewOrderFan05

P.S: The DA will be founded soon, as I hinted in this chapter.