Hello and welcome back!

Hope you enjoy this chapter with a bit more Naoko.

Once again, feedback is much appreciated!

Enjoy.


Shaken.

Rattled.

Perturbed.

Whatever adjective you wanted to use to describe the state of emotions that followed the library 'expedition' which fit along those lines would have been adequate. For days Sakura couldn't seem to shake her unease.

It was honestly quite embarrassing and left her in a perpetual state of doubt.

How was she going to do this? Could she even do this? If simply sneaking into a place she wasn't meant to go sent her into an uncontrollable spiral of anxiety, so much so that she had a physical reaction, then how was she going to accomplish everything else?

'How am I going to be a ninja?'

That thought did not help at all.

Why did this even happen?

Sakura never considered herself an overly anxious person, at least not to the point of becoming debilitated. Even in her past life she had been easy going for the most part. Sure, there were things that stressed her out but those were momentary and considered healthy. Things like exams, friendship or family dramas, expectations, future aspirations and just life in general held moments of anxiety for her but when comparing it to the anxiety of others, she considered her own average.

It was something that happened but didn't significantly impact her in any sense.

So what was different?

A lot.

A lot of things were different. Somehow she had been reincarnated into a previously fictional world as one of its main characters and was now trying to secretly overthrow a tyrant in order to change the course of the world's future.

But that was big picture stuff. At the most basic level what was so different? She was technically still Hannah, just in a different body and she didn't have that much of a personality change so there should have been no real reason to freak out the way she did.

Constant nausea aside, she felt that she was handling things similarly than she would have in her past life.

Was it because she feared getting into trouble and having crossed the line finally brought out this reaction? Sakura supposed that could be the case. In her past life she could easily avoid getting into trouble by simply not doing it. She never had any great desire to push boundaries or rebel often or to go further than what was considered normal. She took pride in it to be honest, remembering how much her mother used to fawn over her, saying she was grateful that amongst four rambunctious boys she could depend on Hannah's stable nature.

So that could be a possible explanation for her reaction. Definitely a reasonable one.

The other explanation boiled down to an overflow. Since her 'awakening' and then arrival in Konoha, her stomach often twisted in discomfort, reminding her of the momentous mountain of obstacles she had to overcome without really having any guarantees of being successful. The nausea wasn't always at the forefront of her mind though and at this point she might have just gotten used to it being constantly there that it wasn't really noticeable most days.

'I'm probably going to develop an ulcer at this rate.'

Therefore the additional stress of the library could have simply been the straw that broke the camel's back. The final drop of water that caused the bucket to overflow so to speak.

Or it could have been a combination of both those reasons. Highly likely but Sakura couldn't fixate on why because there was the more pressing matter of how to avoid the same thing happening again. It'd be really inconvenient to have to expel the contents of her stomach in high stress situations everytime she landed herself in them. Maybe that could be her secret last resort against an enemy but definitely not something that would be a good idea in the long run.

'What should I do?'

Her brain racked through all the information she'd ever been taught about handling stress and anxiety but all the recommended strategies were things she was already doing. She exercised regularly, ate healthy meals, slept relatively well and didn't have any bad coping habits as far as she was aware. So what else was there?

"I'm not paying you to imitate a statue you know."

Turning her head towards Naoko, who looked even more unimpressed than usual, Sakura realized she must have been lost inside her head for quite a while if the temperature of the dishwater was anything to go by.

"Sorry Chinen-san." The older woman's eyes narrowed and watched as Sakura refilled the sink with hot water. "When you're finished with that, make us some tea with those biscuits you baked last week and bring it out to the porch." Sakura only nodded, embarrassed she had been caught lost in her thoughts when she was on the clock.

When she finally brought the tea out she was almost done internally scolding herself when Naoko brought her out of her head once more.

'Focus Sakura, focus.'

"So what's got you in such a tizzy?" Naoko elegantly brought her cup to her lips and for a moment Sakura could imagine the woman perfectly at ease amongst a court of nobles, sipping tea and not giving a shit about anything as long as no one interfered with her afternoon beverage.

Naoko lifted an eyebrow at her, "I'm not getting any younger so any time today would be nice."

"Sorry, I'm just thinking about how best to.." To what? Tell her she snuck into the genin section of the library as practice to sneak into the academy so that she could hopefully uncover a secret plot by one of the village's most esteemed elders. Or perhaps tell her that she wasn't the original Sakura, that she was actually a twenty-one year old named Hannah from another world who somehow hijacked another person's life.

Come to think of it, what happened to the original Sakura? Was her soul set adrift somewhere with no hope of ever finding peace or was Hannah's soul recycled and her intact memory was simply a clerical error. Maybe she was dreaming a very long and lucid dream or maybe this was her hell?

'Not quite sure what the eternal punishment is supposed to be though.'

"You're doing it again."

Sakura turned her head towards the older woman, "Doing what?"

Naoko gave out a sigh, one that made it seem like the answer was obvious, "Thinking too loudly." This wasn't new, Masami often teased her about the gears turning in her head but it wasn't as if she could stop doing it. "Just come out and say it before you think yourself into a coma."

Sakura huffed at the older woman before taking a breath, "Well. The other day I came to a realization." The older woman raised another eyebrow and waited for her to elaborate. "Shinobi often have to do things that can be considered morally gray."

Naoko snorted. Snorted. Her hand came up to her mouth to conceal it but Sakura heard it nonetheless, "And here I thought you were smart but clearly I overestimated you."

Sakura puffed her cheeks, eyebrows pinching together at the jab, "It's not like I didn't know," She defended and forced her arms to remain on her lap instead of crossing them like she would have wanted. "I just didn't really think about it too deeply until now and when I started thinking about it I couldn't stop and eventually made myself sick." It was a watered down version but it would have to do.

"Sakura, how old are you?"

Confused, Sakura tilted her head, "Four."

Naoko nodded, "Exactly. You're only four years old and you're acting like you've got the world on your shoulders." If only Naoko knew how close to the truth she was but Sakura stayed quiet as the older woman carried on, "You do realize that the academy is supposed to teach you how to handle those kinds of situations and that you'll get a handle of it as you gain more experience in the field. Even the most accomplished jōnin had to start somewhere. Rushing into it won't do you any favors."

Looking down at her tea, Sakura contemplated Naoko's words. Was she rushing? It certainly didn't feel like it. In fact, it felt like it was going dreadfully slow all things considered. Sakura wasn't delusional, she knew it would take time to accomplish what she'd decided to do but feelings of impatience and frustration often gnawed at her.

As it was, her first year in Konoha was almost over and she wasn't sure she had a lot to show for it.

Her physical and chakra exercises were proceeding at a steady pace but she worried it would still be inadequate by the time she got to the academy. She would certainly be at the bottom when it came to a lot of things which wasn't bad but without knowing exactly what she was in for there was no way to ease her worry over it.

Her information gathering also had its own limitations since she wanted to avoid getting on anybody's radar so she'd set it aside once she got a job. That and what she really needed to get was academy student records but the library incident brought up a whole new set of doubts.

"What if it doesn't get better?" Her voice was quiet, almost whisper-like but the tilt of Naoko's head encouraged her to keep going, "What if I'm never able to get over it?"

"That's like worrying over whether or not it's going to rain tomorrow."

"Pardon?"

Naoko's head turned towards the garden, "Worrying about something you have no control over is pointless. For the moment worry about things you can control. Though I have no understanding of how shinobi are trained I'd say it's safe to assume it's like most things we find uncomfortable where the more you're exposed to it the less it bothers you or something along those lines." Her amber eyes drifted back to Sakura's emerald ones, "And if it doesn't then you're going to have to seriously reconsider your plans for world domination."

Sakura squawked, "I'm not planning world domination!"

"Really? Hmmm, strange. it's not often I overestimate someone so frequently. Perhaps old age has finally caught up to me."

Sakura deadpanned at the woman before simply joining her as she stared out at the gardens deciding that for today she'd follow the advice given to her and leave the worrying for later.


Thank you for reading and see you next time.