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"Why are we doing this again?" Zim asked skeptically as Skoodge slid a pair of boots onto his feet.
"Because we don't want you to be stuck in this room, you're not a prisoner" Tenn explained with a smile "and we especially don't want you getting lost again."
"And it'll be good for you to walk around, it'll help your leg muscles regain their strength" Zee added. After some discussion and debate, they decided to give Zim a proper tour of the Massive. They didn't want to risk a repeat of when he woke up and the best way to do that was to get him better acquainted with the ship as a whole.
It had taken a lot to convince Skoodge, but he knew it was for the best. As anxious as it made him thinking of Zim interacting with other Irkens, keeping him in here was no different than holding him hostage. He deserved to have freedom, and he would need to know where and where not to go.
Zim was still a little reluctant himself, given how things went the last time he left his room, but it was awfully boring in here when the others weren't around. It'd be nice to be able to leave and do something somewhere else. Plus, he wasn't going to be alone this time, so it shouldn't be so bad. This should be fine, right?
…He was going to choose to believe it would be.
Skoodge stood up with a sigh as he looked at the others "alright, you guys informed everyone about Zim's memory loss, right?"
Sneakyonfoota nodded "don't worry, we sent out a message to everyone currently aboard" he assured him. "They know how to conduct themselves when and if we see them" well hopefully anyway.
"And what about the…" Skoodge waved his hand around his face.
Poot winched "yeah, we included that in the memo too" she nodded slowly.
"They're all as equally confused and horrified" Larb added flatly, grunting when Poot elbowed him in the gut.
Skoodge groaned, dragging his hands down his face, he was no more prepared to deal with this then Zim was, maybe less. "Right, I guess we're doing this" he muttered as he turned back to Zim, doing his best to maintain a positive attitude "okay, ready to go?"
Zim shrugged "I guess so" he said as he gently slid off the bed, Skoodge quickly going to his side to spot him. Luckily, despite wobbling for a few second, Zim was able to remain standing. Albeit with help from the bed and pole. They'd spent a few days having him practice walking around the room beforehand. Building up enough strength and stamina for the tour, and hopefully his confidence. He was still a little unsteady, but they'd definitely seen an improvement.
"Maybe we should've waited a little" Larb mumbled, watching Skoodge support Zim as he let go of the bed, leaning on the IV.
"He needs to move if his legs are going to get stronger" Sneakyonfoota argued. "The longer he stays in bed, the weaker they'll get, and the harder it'll be for him" he said plainly.
Once Skoodge was convinced Zim wasn't going to fall, he backed away slightly but still made sure to stay close by. "Now we're not going around the whole Massive today" Poot explained, wanting him to know the plan "just a few spots. Then when you feel more up to it, we'll visit everywhere else."
Okay, that didn't sound too bad. Maybe he could do this.
"Alright" Tenn said as she checked the time "the hallways shouldn't be too busy right now." They didn't want to overwhelm Zim anymore then he already had been "now would be the best time to head out if you want to avoid too large a crowd."
"That would be preferable" Skoodge sighed. Irk, he really didn't want to do this, but he wasn't about to let Zim be essentially imprisoned, even unintentionally.
There'd been more than enough of that, thank you!
"Okay, are you sure you don't need help?" He asked again.
Zim nodded "I think I'll be alright" he assured him as confidently as he could, which wasn't saying much. His usual level of bravo was still running on zero, just another reminder of how little of Zim himself was technically present.
"Alright, but don't hesitate to ask" Skoodge said as he guided him towards the door. Zim stopped just before the open door, hesitating a little. It took a few seconds, but he eventually took a breath and slowly stepped over the threshold, joining the group. "You doing okay?" Skoodge asked gently.
Zim tightened his grip on the IV poll and nodded. "Yeah, I think so."
"If it gets to be too much at any point, let us know and we'll bring you right back" Tenn promised gently. Zim nodded, his gaze lingering between the floor and their chests. He still wouldn't look any of them in the eye for fear of those scribbles, it was honestly staring to become more concerning as time passed.
All they could do was wait and hope the experts could offer an explanation. They were scheduled to come soon, so they didn't have that long of a wait thankfully.
"So, where exactly are we right now?" Zim asked as they guided him down the hallway he'd previously explored.
"Oh, these are some of the quarters Invaders stay in between missions" Poot explained. There'd been a lot of debate about whether or not to place Zim in the Massive's infirmary, as it was a shared space with no privacy. Needless to say, the events of his awakening hadn't helped either argument.
On the one hand, he might not have been able to wander off so easily.
On the other hand, he would've woken up surrounded by strangers with scratched out faces.
Either way, it would've been a shitstorm.
Zim nodded, happy to be gaining a better understanding of his surroundings as they approached the familiar doors. He watched in amazement as they opened and closed for them with ease "hey how did you…get…" he suddenly lost his voice as they entered the rotunda.
Unlike last time, it was now full of Irkens. All of whom instantly stopped whatever they were doing and were now staring at them.
He assumed, anyway.
All he could see was a vast sea of scribbles.
Zim felt his blood go cold as his breath hitched, feeling overwhelmed with so many scribbles aimed in his direction. He lowered his head until all he could see were his feet and the floor, both his trembling hands grasping the poll tightly as he desperately tried to keep calm.
"Zim?" He flinched when a hand rested on his shoulder, but relaxed when he registered the voice as Skoodge's. "Do you wanna go back?" He asked softly as he and the others looked at him in concern and anticipation.
Honestly, he did. He would love nothing more than to go back to his room and hide under the covers, but he couldn't. Or at least he shouldn't. He knew, he wasn't sure how but he knew, it wouldn't be any better latter then it was now. Might as well get it over with sooner than later, right?
Mind made up, Zim swallowed and forced himself to shake his head "I-I can do this" he whispered. Reluctantly, Skoodge nodded. As much as he hated the way everyone was gawking, he knew there was no avoiding this reaction. It really would be better to rip the band aid off sooner than later.
…Just like that medic had told him.
...Damn it.
Skoodge nodded "okay" he said as he began gently guiding him forward, hand still on top of the smaller Irkens shoulder. The others formed a small circle around them, trying to block Zim from view as much as possible.
That didn't stop him from hearing the whispers.
"No way, he's really awake?!"
"You think it's true he can't remember anything?"
"I heard he can't see anyone face."
"Yeah, I saw that drawing, it was creepy as hell."
"So, he really doesn't remember anything? Including…you know…?"
Growling, Skoodge stopped and faced the crowed with a fierce stare. "I'm sorry but don't you all have jobs and duties to attend to?" He asked sarcastically, the malice in his voice no less present "or literally anything else?" That seemed to do the trick as the crowed instantly returned their attention to whatever they'd been doing.
Skoodge rolled his eyes, resuming their walk "you were about to ask something?" He looked at Zim, recalling the conversation before the interruption.
"Y-yeah" Zim nodded slowly, regaining his bearings now that he wasn't the center of attention anymore "h-how did you get the door to open so fast back there?"
"Well, they are motion sensitive, but they respond quicker to our Pak singles" Larb explained, glancing back at him.
"Our...what?"
"These" Zee said, tapping on Sneakyonfootas Pak.
"Oh" he nodded, so that's what that was "so the doors can…read those?" He pointed at the Pak, making sure he understood.
"Yep, the Massive is programed to recognize all registered Pak's" Sneakyonfoota explained.
"So…mine isn't?"
"Well…" Poot began carefully as they glanced at each other "this is technically your first time abord, and since you've been unconscious, we haven't gotten around to registering yours yet." It was the truth; all the medics and Pak technicians had said doing so before he regain consciousness could worsened Zim's condition given how invasive the process was, if not outright kill him. The unpredictable uniqueness of his Pak didn't help either.
Zim raised his head more "how long was I asleep?" He asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.
Again, they looked between each other, not sure if they should answer. Skoodge sighed, he didn't want to, but he'd promised he wouldn't keep Zim in the dark. It was a simple enough question in the grand scheme of thing, really, like telling someone how long their nap had been right? "Two months" he answered honestly "almost three."
Zims eyes widened, two months? Had he really slept that long? "…No wonder my legs are so jiggly" he mumbled in astonishment. Skoodge couldn't stop himself from smiling, none of them could. "So…where are we going right now anyway?" Zim asked, feeling a little braver and beginning to look around more.
The group came to a stop.
Where were they going?
"Well…" Poot tapped her chin, trying to remember what hallway lead where "…the labs down this way" she pointed down a random hall "that's as good a place as any to start."
The lab, as it turned out, was a good call.
As soon as they entered, Zims eyes lit up. He was completely mesmerized as he looked around, taking in as much as he could at a time, a small smile on his face. It was the happiest they'd seen him since he'd awoken.
…It was honestly the happiest they'd seen him in a long time.
"Now this is nothing compared to the labs we have throughout the empire" Poot said as they led him around the equipment safely and without disturbing the scientists trying to focus on their work and not the newly returned to consciousness little Irken.
"But it does get first access to all the newest and best stuff" Larb added, ignoring Poots exasperated look as they both glanced at Zim, watching him closely.
Along the way to the lab, they couldn't help wondering if maybe being around the equipment could trigger something. He clearly still possessed some knowledge from his own days in the lab, even if that kind of thing wasn't affected by memory loss like Sneakyonfoota said.
"So…what do you think?" Zee asked.
Zim didn't respond, too focused on the equipment surrounding him. It was weird, he wasn't sure what most of this stuff was, but he felt like he understood what they were for. Like there was a voice in the back of his head he could just barely hear. He knew that made no sense, but he couldn't explain it any other way.
"Stay close Zim" Tenn reminded him gently as they followed the designated path for visiting superiors "it can get dangerous in here."
"Invaders" a voice Zim didn't recognize suddenly called out, startling him. One of the scientists came over to the group, pausing a little when he saw Zim "what brings you all here?"
Poot stepped forward when she noticed Zim move to hide behind Skoodge a bit "we're just helping Zim get acquainted with the Massive uh…?"
"Engineer Skrang" he introduced himself with a salute.
As Zim backed up further, he bumped into a table behind him. Turning around, he noticed some papers with what looked like formulas written on them, but for some reason they looked…not good.
Zim glanced around hesitantly. He knew he probably shouldn't mess with anything in here, but before he could stop himself, he'd already picked up a pen and began making changes to the formula.
"Hey!" Zim jumped back from the table like it was on fire with a small shriek, almost tripping in the process. Once the approaching Irken recognized him, he flinched back with a guilty look. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!" He apologized quickly, trying to calm the still uneasy Zim "I-I didn't mean to startle you, really, but you really shouldn't…be…" he trailed off as he glanced at the papers. Picking them up, he read them over with wide eyes "holy moly, you fixed it" he mumbled, looking at Zim in astonishment "how did you fix it?"
"Uh…I don't know" Zim answered honestly, gaze glued to the ground.
"Is there a problem over here?" Skoodge suddenly asked, having noticed Zim was alone with the other Irken. He knew he might be overacting but he didn't recognize this guy and wasn't willing to take any chances. He didn't exactly have much trust in his fellow Irkens right now, a fact they were all well aware of.
The Irken shrunk back a bit "no, no problem" he assured him, he wasn't a fighter and Skoodge conquered Blorch for Irk's sake. "Look, look! He fixed the formula" he said as he passed the documents to Skrang, becoming excited again.
Skrang took the papers and looked them over, blinking in surprise. "We've been trying to figure this out for weeks" he mumbled in astonishment. The Invaders exchanged hopeful, almost excited looks as he turned to Zim "how did you know what to do?"
"I'm not sure" Zim repeated "I just…" he motioned with his hand "…it just didn't look right, somehow."
Right, of course it wasn't going to be that easy. Still, it did appear anything science related did register with Zim, that was something at the very least. Maybe they could work with that going forward.
The Irken next to Zim twiddled his fingers, glancing at him awkwardly. "Is…" he spoke up, getting Zim's attention, as well as the others "is it true you don't remember anything?" Zim nodded hesitantly "so…you don't recognize me?"
Zim blinked in surprise, lifting his head slightly "we know each other?"
"Well we…we only really met once" he explained awkwardly with a shrug "dose the name "Floog" sound familiar?" Zim thought for a moment then shook his head. Floog nodded in understanding, but couldn't hide his disappointment. Despite everything, Floog hadn't found Zim that bad when they'd met. Granted, he understood everyone's grievances, but when he'd heard about what happened…
"Okay, well…just thought I'd ask" he said weakly. Zim's frown deepened, he wanted to ask this Floog fellow more questions, but found himself being guided away.
"C'mon Zim, we got more to see" Larb said, nudging him forward "and Skrang says their doing some dangerous, super hush hush experiment in here today and they need to lock down the lab."
That was disappointing, Zim had really wanted to explore more and maybe continue talking with Floog. Sadly, it appeared they didn't have a choice so he reluctantly followed the Invaders out the door "we can come back, right?" He asked hopefully.
This brought a smile to their faces. Zim was actually showing a real interest and enthusiasm in something, that had to be a good sign.
"We'll certainly try to" Skoodge promised.
The more they showed Zim, the more he began to understand why this ship was called the Massive.
…He still thought it was a weird name.
Currently, they were in the training room. It was even bigger than the lab, or at least looked that way, and there were a lot more Irkens scattered about. Each running various drills and exercising on a variety of equipment vastly different than the ones in the lab.
"These guys are intense" he mumbled as he watched. Even if he couldn't make out their expressions, he didn't really need to the way they were going at the equipment, obstacle courses, and each other.
Especially each other.
"You have to be to make it as an elite" a voice suddenly came from behind, surprising Zim. He spun around to find a bigger Irken staring him down…maybe. "Especially if you're in my squad, I keep my soldiers in top shape" he continued, with a salute "Invaders."
"Commander" they all greeted back, returning the salute. Zim watched awkwardly, wondering if he should salute too.
He was just about to when the Commander suddenly turned his attention to him. "Glad to see you back on your feet" he said as he extended a hand to Zim "welcome back to the world of the living. You need anything, you come find me, Commander Chet, you hear?"
Zim stared for a bit before slowly taking his hand, nodding in understanding. "Uh, thank you, um, Commander. Uh, did we…" Zim bit his lip, he could just be being nice, but he couldn't help wondering "…did we know each other?"
Chet hummed as he took back his hand "we met once" he said casually "Planet Plim…ring any bells?" He asked, now being the one to sound hesitant. Again, Zim wracked his brain for any recollection for either the name of the planet or the individual speaking with him, but again, he drew a blank.
Again, he was forced to shake his head "I'm sorry."
Chet frowned with a hum "understandable" he said casually, maintaining his professional yet laid-back attitude. Despite his efforts, the Invaders could still see the slight deflate in his shoulders. It didn't last, as Chet straightened himself just as quickly. "Right, well those solders wont train themselves" they looked to be doing fine to Zim, but he wasn't going to tell him how to do his job "as you were" Chet said as he gave one last salute and walked off.
As he left, Skoodge felt a tug at his sleeve "how many Irkens do I know here exactly?" Zim asked in genuine curiosity and dread. First Skoodge and the other Invaders, now these Floog and Chet guys. He was starting to feel guilty at the growing number of Irkens he couldn't remember.
"Well, I can't say for sure" really, he really couldn't. Given Zim's reputation, he'd probably had at least one encounter with more than half the Irkens abord right now "but I'm sure you'll remember them all eventually" whether that was a good or bad thing, was yet to be determined.
Zim certainly hoped so "and what did I do?"
They all froze, trying to hide their apprehension. "What do you mean?" Skoodge asked carefully.
"Well, you said I wasn't an Invader, and I haven't been on the Massive before. And so far, I've met a solider and a scientist who've both met me at least once. So…what did I do?"
"Oh! You wanna to know what job you had" Tenn said, figuring out what he was asking as he nodded. They really hoped their relief wasn't obvious "well actually, you've had a few" she explained.
Skoodge nodded "we were both elites at one point, but for a long time you were a scientist."
It was subtle, but they were quick to notice the way Zim perked up at this. "Really?" He asked, sounding a little excited.
Skoodge couldn't help but smile. He'd never said it out loud, and certainly never to his face, but he'd always believed Zim was born to be a scientist. Ever since they were smeets, Zim had always liked to experiment and create with…various results admittedly.
…Mostly negative.
Even after he'd been reencoded, Zim never really stopped with his experiments and scientific study. Sometimes he wondered what would've happened if Zim had been allowed to stay in the lab, how much damage could've been avoided.
"Hey, I'm starving" Larb suddenly said "what do you say we show him the cafeteria?"
"Is that gonna be too crowded for him?" Tenn asked.
"It's the cafeteria, the one place we as a species unanimously agree is awesome" Larb lightly argued back. "He'll love it instinctively" they weren't sure about that, but it was getting close to the end of the lunch rush. It shouldn't be too busy and they were all getting a little hungry themselves…
"Yeah aright" Skoodge agreed reluctantly "I guess that's easy enough."
"Here we are! The cafeteria!" Larb spread his arms enthusiastically as they made their way towards the large area "the crown jewel of the Massive!"
"Again Larb, not even close" Poot said in exasperation, pinching the space between her eyes. She couldn't help but grin when she heard Zim giggle. It was nice to see him happy, even a little bit.
Sneakyonfoota snicked "although it does have a pretty sweet setup" he agreed as they entered. This was one of the largest areas on the ship, given how many Irkens were aboard at a time, and with how much they loved snacks.
To Skoodges relief, it was fairly quiet at the moment. Only a few Irkens were present, either taking a break or just finishing up their meals, should be simple enough. "Okay so what are you hungry for?" Skoodge asked as he turned to Zim "they've got…" he trailed off when he realized Zim wasn't with them anymore. Skoodge looked at the others, but they were just as surprised.
They quickly rushed out and fortunately found Zim right outside, unfortunately what they found wasn't a reassuring sight. Zim was next to the entrance, on his knees, clinging to the IV pole. His gaze unfocused as he hyperventilated.
Skoodge's chest tightened. Even without medical training, he knew a panic attack when he saw one.
"Zim?!" Skoodge went to approached him but was stopped by Zee. He was about to snap at her until he saw the looks in her eyes and realized she was in medic mode and was holding him back for a reason.
"Approach him carefully, stay at arm's length, then get to his eye level" Zee instructed, looking him dead in the eye to make sure there was no room for argument. "But most of all, ask for permission before doing anything" Skoodge nodded, showing he understood. She'd seen her share of panic attacks as a field medic, he wasn't about to argue with her on this.
Satisfied, she let him go and, following her instructions, Skoodge slowly made his way to his distressed friend. He glanced back at Zee, stopping an arm's length away from Zim like she'd said. Getting a nod from her, he got down on his knees, he almost reached out when he remembered the instructions given. "Z-Zim…" he took a breath to steady his nerves "…c-can I touch you?" Zim didn't answer, but gave a small nod after a few seconds. Accepting this, Skoodge cautiously placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently. The others stepped in front of them, blocking them from view of anyone who passed by to offer some privacy.
Zee came over and took a seat in front of the small Irken "Zim" she spoke softly "try and copy my breathing, okay?" Zee held up a hand, taking a deep breath as she counted down on her fingers, then breathed out while counting backwards. She did this a few times until Zim finally started to imitate her. His breaths were shaky at first, but they gradually became more even.
"Can we help you stand?" Zee asked carefully once his breathing was more stable. Zim gave a shaky nod and allowed the two to help him back to his feet "lets go somewhere quieter" no one argued, just followed the former medic's directions. By the time they found an empty room, Zim was thankfully beginning to regain his baring's.
"Are you alright?" Skoodge asked carefully.
Zim gave a small nod "I-I think so."
"Do you wanna tell us what happened?" Zee asked gently.
"I…I don't k-know" Zim mumbled, wiping his damp eyes with a small sniff. "I just…" he tightened his grip on the pole.
"It's okay" Sneakyonfoota said reassuringly. He hadn't seen as many panic attacks as Zee, but he still knew a thing or two about what to do "take your time. Was it too crowded in there?"
Zim shook his head "n-no" he said "I just felt…I don't know, it was like an alarm went off in my head…I'm sorry" he said softly, fiddling with the IV.
"You don't have to apologize" Zee assured him. She felt terrible, they all did, this had been going so well. What went wrong?
Tenn suddenly perked up "okay, forget the cafeteria. I think I know something you might like."
Zim was practically glued to the glass as he gazed out into the depths of space. The others stood a few feet back, wanting to give him some breathing room after earlier. None of them could hold back their smiles at the look of awe on the small Irkens face.
"Alright, this wasn't a bad idea" Skoodge admitted with a grin. Tenn smiled, repressing a squeal of joy at having gotten on Skoodge's good side, even just a little bit. She'd noticed Zim liked looking out the window of his room, so she thought bringing him to the observatory deck might brighten his mood.
Looked like she'd been right, as Zim's face had lit up upon seeing the vast view of passing stars and planets once they opened the door.
"What do you think happened at the café?" Poot asked in a hushed voice. They looked between each other; each having been wondering the same thing but unable to come up with an answer. He'd been fine up until that point; they weren't really sure what could have happened.
"You don't think…" Larb suddenly spoke up, sounding quieter than they were used to. He stopped, looking away as he tapped his lip.
"What is it Larb?" Sneakyonfoota asked, brow raised in curiosity.
Larb hesitated a bit longer before finishing his thought "you don't think that the cafeteria reminded him of…" he trailed off again, this time looking ill.
No one pressed him to continue, he didn't need too.
They all knew what he was thinking.
Sneakyonfoota sighed, rubbing his arm "its…a possibility" he confessed "whether he's repressing or not, part of him clearly still has some recollection."
"At the very least, he associates the cafeteria with something negative" Zee added.
Skoodge felt a lump in his throat, whether it was bile or his own overwhelming emotions, he didn't know and couldn't bring himself to care.
"We can discuss it with the specialist" Sneakyonfoota said, trying to offer some kind of reassurance. Skoodge nodded numbly, his gaze returning to Zim. It felt like this whole situation just kept getting worse, and he had a feeling it would keep getting worse before it got better. If it got any better. Despite his despair, Skoodge felt his blood boil.
Damn it, it wasn't fair.
Hadn't Zim been through enough?
Hasn't Zim been punished enough?!
Skoodge sighed, trying to cool his temper. Whatever, he was here for Zim now. He wouldn't let him get hurt anymore, wouldn't him suffer anymore…wouldn't fail him anymore.
Any other shit storm that came along could do its worst. He wouldn't let Zim down this time. Whatever happened, he could and would take it head on guns a blazing.
He was an Invader after all.
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry this took so long!
It was a combination of writer's block, lack of motivation, wanting to show love to some others stories, and sheer laziness. I know it doesn't make it better, but I'm still so very sorry!
I haven't abandoned this, I promise! I want to avoid abandoning any story if I can. Worst of all, I'm not even sure this chapter was worth the wait. Hopefully the next on will be, and hopefully won't take as long, but I can't make promises.
I wanna thank you all for your patience and for all the nice comments. I assure you they're very much appreciated.
Until next time!
…That hopefully will be sooner than this. Again, so sorry!
