For the first time in a long time, Trent felt real fear again.
Not fear born of being startled in the moment or the fear that came from the everyday normal things a person could expect to run into. Not since his showdown with the cult had he tasted fear like this. He knew immediately what the problem was, what infected him with the low dread was the fact that this was the kind of thing with real, serious consequences. He had a plan, and while he was fairly confident, he knew he wasn't as confident as he seemed. He could fuck this up, and there were massive consequences on the line.
An hour had passed too quickly for him after he went through the house, making sure everything was unloaded and put away, doing a few chores, and then wasting the rest of the time trying to convince himself to get to work on this project of his, or at least get some more work done on his book. He had ideas on how to handle this whole thing, but ultimately he knew that he needed a better look at the situation and for Mae's parents to be directly involved. There was no way he was just getting together sixty five grand and showing up on their doorstep with it unannounced. It was all too possible they were missing something.
He had the awful suspicion that they weren't, though.
Mae had to be about dragged out of the basement when it came time, but they finally got her going. Before he knew it, he found himself walking across his backyard with Mae, Bea, Ann, and Claire, the atmosphere somber and heavy. They crossed into Mae's parent's backyard and then Claire let them into the house through the backdoor.
So far, neither parent had come home yet.
"This sucks," Bea muttered.
"Yep," Mae whispered. They all looked at her. She seemed ashen, stricken by the situation.
"We'll get this sorted out, Mae," Trent said.
"I know...or I think so...I don't know," she murmured, slowly looking around. "I grew up in this house. I've spent so much of my life here. There's so many memories. My grandpa read so much to me here, and told me stories, and we would just talk for hours…"
"It'll be okay, Mae," Bea said.
"I know it probably will be, even if we lose the house, we'll figure something out, I'm just really sad, and I feel kinda like...someone hit me in the head or something, you know? Dazed," Mae replied.
Bea began to reply, but then stopped as they heard a car engine getting closer. They all waited. Two doors opened and closed, nearby. Then they heard conversation.
"Okay, this is it," Bea muttered.
"Who leads?" Ann asked.
"Trent," Mae said, and no one said anything. He sighed. "I'm sorry, it just makes sense to me."
"I can do it," he replied, and she relaxed.
"Thank you," she whispered.
They heard the key to the lock and then the door opened and Mae's parents both came in. They looked down the hallway and into the kitchen where everyone was gathered. They'd been in the middle of laughing about something but both immediately lost their smiles as they did.
"Something's happened," Candy said. "What happened?"
"We know you're going to lose the house in less than two weeks," Trent replied. Might as well just get on with this, as quickly and bluntly as possible. "We're going to help you keep it."
For a long moment they kept staring, then Stan slowly closed the front door. They both looked at each other finally, then, slowly looking back, Stan asked, "How did you find out?"
"By accident," Claire said. "I...saw the papers. I wasn't snooping."
"Dammit, I knew I'd forgotten something," Candy muttered.
They both walked down the hallway and joined the others in the kitchen.
"Listen," Candy said, trying to sound authoritative and almost managing it, "this is a problem for your father and I, Mae. Children. And we appreciate you wanting to help, but-"
"All due respect," Trent interrupted, "but you need sixty five thousand dollars. If you've found a way to come up with it, then we will respectfully withdraw and stop talking about it."
"Have you?" Mae pressed when neither of them said anything. She stood up. "Have you found the money?"
"No," Stan said.
"Then we're helping," Mae replied stubbornly.
"Honey, I'm really happy that you're trying to be more responsible but it's like I told you before, this is our responsibility and I don't want you feeling guilty over what happened when you were fourteen or what happened with college-"
"This isn't about that!" Mae shouted. She had tears in her eyes and, despite her assessment, she took charge. "God-fucking-dammit, mom! Yeah I still feel shitty about all that, but that doesn't matter now! You're always telling me how important family is, and how we always have to look out for each other, and help each other, but you never tell me anything really important! You tell me how important community is, but then when you have a real problem you and dad clam up and you won't talk about it or let anyone help! And I get it, I'm so irresponsible it's a fucking joke, but I'm doing better, and my friends are good people, and they're responsible, and we can finally actually do something about this! I'm not letting you lose this house, mom, dad! Not if there's a chance we can actually do something! So...just let us help you. Okay?"
A long moment of silence passed.
"You shouldn't have to deal with this," Candy said finally, there was steel in her voice but it was breaking. She reached up and flicked at her eyes. "You're twenty for God's sake, Mae, you shouldn't have to deal with our fuck ups."
"The world rarely cares about 'should'," Ann said quietly.
Candy laughed softly and brushed at her eyes again. "You all look pretty dead set on this," she murmured.
"We are," Bea said firmly.
"I'm so sick and tired of bad things happening to good people," Claire said. "If there's anything I can do, I'm doing it. You two are too nice to have something this bad happen to you."
"I feel the same way," Trent said, "and regardless, I'm in this for the long haul. I love Mae. We're basically married at this point, and I feel a lot more for you two than I do my biological family. And I finally can make things happen for once in my life. We have friends and we have family in this town. What good is community if we don't actually commune when the time calls for it?"
"That's a good point," Stan said, frowning deeply.
"I suppose we have no choice in the matter," Candy said.
"You don't," Mae replied firmly.
Candy laughed softly and shook her head, then wiped at her eyes again. She looked around. "I have grown rather attached to the house."
Ann laughed, and then so did Claire, and before long they were all laughing, and the tension that had encased them all like a shell broke and vanished.
"All right," Candy said, growing more serious, "fine. If you really are dead set on this course, then we're going to do this. But we're doing it smartly and legally. You aren't allowed to steal anything."
"Oh my God, mom, I'm not going to rob a bank or something," Mae replied, rolling her eyes.
"I know, dear, I'm just saying, I want this to be above board."
"I'd like to sit down with you and go over all the finances," Bea said. "I really had to teach myself all about finances thanks to the Pickaxe, and we'll hammer out a plan. We've got a lot of ideas for where the money can come from."
Candy looked at Stan, who just looked a little lost. He shrugged and nodded. "All right," she said, "but can we have dinner first?"
"I know it's stupid but can we order Taco Buck? I could seriously use some," Mae said.
"That sounds very nice," Candy replied.
Trent came awake to a hand on his shoulder.
His eyes snapped open and he found Mae looking down at him, a deep frown on her face, illuminated by the moonlight. He blinked a few times.
"What's wrong?" he murmured. "Are you okay?"
"I need to talk," she whispered. "You said I should wake you up if I really need to talk, even if you're sleeping, and I really need to talk."
He nodded, carefully sitting up and looking around. He and Mae had ended up on the right side of the bed, and Ann and Bea had ended up on the left. Mae was standing, wearing a pair of panties and her old t-shirt with the null symbol on it. He was just in his boxers. Standing up, he saw Mae move to the window. She pulled it open and a gentle breeze carrying cool night air wafted in. He pulled on a t-shirt as she began climbing out the window.
He moved with her, joining her and sitting on the roof, closing the window most of the way behind them.
For a moment, neither of them spoke, both just sitting there, shoulder to shoulder. It had to be somewhere past midnight. As he waited for her to talk, he thought about the night that had passed. They'd had a long talk in Mae's parent's kitchen, going over all the bills and debts and mortgage stuff. The long and short of it seemed to be that, at some point over the past decade, they'd taken out another mortgage on their home to help pay for their debts, only it had gotten all screwed up, because the bank had pulled something shifty and shitty.
Sixty five thousand dollars was what they needed here and now to keep the bank from taking the home, but altogether, between the new mortgage, Mae's college debt, and general credit card debt, they owed some two hundred thousand dollars.
Trent felt sick looking at that final number.
He knew Mae felt a lot worse than that.
They'd discussed plans, people, potentials, had gone so far as to make a list of everything they could do and everyone they could hit up, and then they'd gone home and dove into work.
Ann had immediately updated her profile on the pair of editing websites she had been working and building a reputation on, indicating that she needed commissions and money badly.
Bea began setting up a website to coordinate all this. She wanted something centralized to route everyone and everything through. She was intending to put out an EP of the two songs she'd made so far through anywhere and everywhere she could and put all the proceeds towards the problem. She had also established a GoFundMe and was networking through chattrbox, and was doing all the things she could think to do to help soften the impact of the financial aspects of it, mostly from a tax angle.
You couldn't just assemble sixty five grand, let alone two hundred, and not pay taxes on it.
Trent had tried to get hold of Tabby, but she hadn't responded all night. He also fired off texts to Melody and Jen, but Melody hadn't replied yet and Jen said she was too busy to talk tonight. Given the gravity of the situation, he wanted to talk about this over the phone instead of just through text. He'd then shot off to work on finishing out a short story he'd been working on, as he had a plan to help get them more money.
Mae had gone down into the basement to prepare for her marathon stream. She had wanted to start it then and there, but there were some things she needed to do and ultimately she'd decided to wrap up all her other affairs and begin tomorrow.
"So," Mae said slowly, "I know this sounds insane, given everything we've gone through, but I feel the worst I've felt for as long as you've known me. Honestly, this is up there in worst times of my life. This is up there with the Andy Cullen thing, and the first time I saw the shapes, and the worst days at college, and all the cult shit."
"I'm so sorry, honey," Trent said, putting an arm around her. She leaned into him immediately. "I know this is awful, but we can fix it."
"I know...I hope. I'm really hoping we can fix this. Because this is my fault. All of it. My mom and my dad try to tell me it isn't, that it isn't on me, but it is. It actually is. They went into debt the first time paying off Andy Cullen's medical debt. And then they went into debt even further putting me into college, which I dropped out of. And it's just…"
"Mae," he said when she trailed off, "it isn't your fault."
"You have to say that," she murmured. "You're my boyfriend and you have to make me feel better, even if it means lying to me."
"Mae...do you trust me?" he asked.
"What? Of course I do. With my life. With anything."
"Then would you trust me to tell you if I thought it was your fault?"
"...I don't know," she admitted. "You love me so much, I think you might try to shield me from that."
"That's fair...but I'm asking you to trust me. This isn't your fault. This isn't anyone's fault, really. Arguably...it could be put on your parents, but even then, I don't know."
"How is it their fault?" she asked. "How, how in the name of Sky Cat is it not my fault? I feel like it's dead to rights my fault."
"Your mental health issues are not your fault, Mae. The thing with Andy Cullen is not your fault. You don't even remember it. You didn't consent to it, your body and your brain just malfunctioned. That's where it's no one's fault. Well, maybe it's society's fault, for not having a better grasp of mental health, because maybe it could've been caught earlier. But as for college? Clearly it was damaging you, literally. It was damaging your health, physical and mental, to stay there. And your mom shouldn't have just decided you were going to go to college no matter what you had to say about it. That's how it's kind of your parent's fault. But this isn't your fault, Mae. Full stop. Not your fault. And I'm not just saying that because I want to make you feel better, it's really how I see the situation."
She was quiet for a long time. He sat there on their roof with her, holding her, waiting. He knew what it was like to be locked in your head, wrestling furiously with intense emotions.
"...maybe," she whispered after a long time. "But I don't think I'm ready to hear it. I feel so guilty I feel like I'm going to throw up. I can't sit still. I can't sleep. I'm angry and embarrassed and guilty and I just feel so bad. And it's like, it's not the same for you, it's easy with your parents-" She stopped suddenly and her eyes went wide. "Oh my God. Oh fuck. Oh my God. Babe, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that. I, fuck, I should just go inside. Oh my God."
"Mae," he said, taking her hand, "please, just relax. It's okay. I'm not angry."
"How can you not be angry?! I just told-said you had it easy with your family, who abused the fucking shit out of you so hard that you have panic attacks now and-"
"Mae, please calm down, just for a minute. Just stop talking, okay?"
She looked at him, her mouth open, clearly struggling, then slowly closed it.
"Take a deep breath. Let it out," he said. She did. "Okay, Mae. I'm not mad at you. I know you weren't trying to hurt me. You obviously had a point you were trying to make, and I want to hear it."
"I feel like such a bitch now," she muttered.
"You aren't. Mae," he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "I love you. A lot. So much. I know you wouldn't hurt me. So please...just tell me. You'll feel better if you get a chance to explain yourself."
She sighed, looking away for a moment, then slowly nodded and looked back. "Okay, yeah. You're right. It's just...my thought was this: the situation with your family is easier-" she paused, cringed, "-that isn't the right word, but I can't think of a different word to fit right now. It's...less hard, because you just hate them. There's no conflict there. They're awful people, you hate them, you cut contact, end of story. I...have a complicated relationship with my family, but I love them."
"You're right, Mae," he said.
"Am I?"
"Yes. But the word you're looking for is simple."
"Oh...yes! Right. Simple. Okay."
"And you're right: my situation is much simpler. I cut contact, end of story. You live right next door to your parents, and you've had your ups and downs, but there's no question: your parents love you, even if they're not always the best at showing it." He squeezed her hand and kissed the back of it. "Here's what I have to say: this isn't your fault, but I understand why you think it is. I think you should put aside your feelings of guilt as much as you can for now because of a very practical reason. We need to go hard for the next nine days and grind as much money as possible to make this work, and you need to be at the top of your game for that. Okay?"
"...you're right," she said. A long moment passed. She giggled suddenly. "You said hard." She sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry, that's so dumb. But it was funny."
"I'm glad you can enjoy it," he replied.
She yawned suddenly. "Wow, I'm tired all of a sudden."
"You should try to sleep...why don't you let me give you a massage."
"What about you? Don't you need sleep? You committed to, like, a lot of stuff, dude," she said. "God, everyone did, everyone's going to work so hard because of my fuckup…"
"It isn't your fuckup, Mae." He turned to look at her more directly. "This is something you have to learn, and I know it's really, really hard, but you have to. Sometimes life will just shit on you. It isn't on purpose, it's no one's fault, it just happens. It's awful, but it isn't your fault. And when it happens, you just have to deal with it. And if you can, when it happens to other people, you should help them deal with it, too. It's like Jacob said: some things go beyond debt. Bea, Ann, Claire, myself, everyone who's agreeing to help, they aren't doing it because they hope to get something out of it or because they expect you to repay them, they're helping you because they love you, Mae, and this is what people are supposed to do for each other. Mae...life has kicked your ass up and down the field, multiple times, and that's fucking horseshit, because you don't deserve it, but we're here for you."
She looked at him for a long time, then she hugged him, squeezed him tightly. "I didn't know I could love someone as much as I love you," she murmured.
"I know how you feel, love," he replied, and she laughed.
"...I would like that massage," she said.
"Come on, let's go back inside and do that, then we can sleep, and then...the real work begins."
