Back in Texas, breakfast was somethin' everybody in the Bailey household always looked forward to. And even though I was attending monk school overseas, this morning was no different considering it was my turn to cook it.
Today I felt like whippin' up some of Daddy's homemade garbage eggs: stuffed with bacon, sausages, ham, and cheese courtesy of Old Bessie. Speaking of which, I really should write that thank you letter to him for importing her cheese all the way over to China. Must've taken a lotta stamps to ship that darn crate.
Growin' up on a ranch, I was usually the first one up other than Omi, so I took all the time I needed to get the eggs just right. Our fearless leader was often the last slowpoke to drag himself outta bed, but I imagine the smell of breakfast will be enough motivation for him. If not, well, I'll just have to hogtie him again!
Sure enough, by the time I got done settin' the table, the rodeo came stampeding in. Omi was considerate enough to pull out a chair for Kimiko while Raimundo sat down next to her. I swear, those two were closer than lovebugs on Valentine's Day. Not that I'm tryin' to start nothin', so long as they're happy together, I'm happy for 'em.
Like always, we waited for Master Fung and Dojo to take a seat at the table before we could all start chowin' down. The little dragon was more than eager to get a plateful, but Master Fung stuck with his usual cup of green tea instead. I don't think I'll ever understand what makes that man tick. Who else can possibly resist a steamin' pile of Bailey Garbage Eggs?
"Clay, your artery-clogging American meals have seduced me yet again," burped Dojo. I knew I could count on our dragon pardner to leave a glowing review.
Kimiko added, "I know, right? I'll be honest, I never suspected that our lovable boulder was an unrecognized cook. You could seriously make a name for yourself in the cuisine world, Clay!"
I just scratched the back of my head from all the unexpected praise. "Aw shucks! You fellers are gonna make me blush now…"
"It's the truth, ain't it?" said Rai, perfectly flipping a loose piece of bacon into his mouth. "If it can get me out of bed at the crack of dawn, then you know it's good!"
Omi took our leader's laid-back comment as a chance to lightly scold him. "Raimundo, while you may be our new leader, you must learn to hone your awakening skills just like I have. A true Shoku Warrior must be ready to take on the day every day! After all, the yearly bird gets the worm."
"That would be the early bird, Omi," Raimundo corrected. "But I gotta hand it to ya, you're getting better at modernizing your dialect."
"Seeee~? Told you those English lessons would start to pay off~" sang Kimiko, pokin' her boyfriend in the side like she were markin' him with a branding iron.
"Hey – I've been trying to teach the little dude slang for three whole years! So how come you can do it in only three weeks?"
"Simple: patience," Kimiko answered before givin' her boyfriend a concerned look. "Something you've been struggling with a lot lately. No offense, babe."
Rai sighed, "None taken. But yeah, you're right, I still gotta work on that now that I have more responsibility. I can't afford to be impulsive anymore now that I'm you guys' leader."
"I have complete faith in your ability to control yourself, Raimundo," Master Fung said. "I would not have chosen you to lead the monks if I had my doubts. Patience is a bitter plant, but its fruit is sweet."
"Yeah, and when it comes to deciphering this man's proverbs, you need to have the patience of a saint, let me tell ya," commented Dojo after takin' a sip of his coffee. Though Master Fung gave him a stink eye stinker than a roadkill skunk on sizzlin' asphalt.
"…More herbal leaves for your tea, Master Fung? Heh…heh…"
"I am good, Dojo. Thank you for asking."
After that dangerous exchange passed on by, Master Fung stood up from his seat cushion and folded his arms inside his robes' sleeves. I reckon he's got somethin' mighty important to say to us.
"Young monks, you have all made exemplary progress harnessing your inner Xiaolin Dragon. It seems only yesterday you ascended from humble Dragons-in-training to proud Wudai Warriors plus one Shoku Warrior. Normally, it takes students at least ten years to be where you are now, yet you have excelled in less than three. Which is why I believe the time is right for you to advance to the next step of enlightenment."
Master Fung stared into our souls before carrying on with his speech. "Omi, Kimiko, Clay, you are now ready to begin your Shoku Warrior training. Raimundo will offer his assistance."
Well I'll be durned! Me and my friends, Shoku Warriors! This day could not have started off any better!
Just then, our little hoedown was cut short by the sound of a…Now hold on – was that a doorbell? Did I hear that right?
Everyone eyed each other confusedly. Looks like it wasn't just in my head after all.
"Wait, since when did we get a doorbell installed?" asked Kimiko. An awkward cough turned all our attention to a certain green reptile scratchin' the back of his scales.
"Uh, yeah, about that…I may have hired somebody to come in and install a doorbell last week. Figured some home improvement couldn't hurt anybody, right?"
…
Dojo threw up his hands and exclaimed, "Oh come on, people! This temple's been around since the Northern Wei Dynasty! I think it's safe to say it's way past a renovation or two. Besides, if you're not gonna let me install a security system for the Shen Gong Wu vault, then just let me have this one! Please?"
Master Fung sipped his tea before responding, "In that case, you wouldn't mind answering it, would you, Kanojo Cho?"
The little critter gulped, "Oh boy…using last names, are we? Looks like I'm on thin ice. Alright, I'll go and greet our mystery visitor."
Dojo slithered away into the halls, leavin' us to wonder who in tarnation that could be at our front door.
"Y'all don't think it's a ruse, do you?" I asked.
"How many bad guys have you met that use a doorbell before breaking in?" reasoned Kimiko.
"Most illogical, indeed," added Omi. "It is not like the forces of evil to politely alert their presence and wait to be invited in."
"It's probably just some annoying door-to-door salesman trying to sell us something," snorted Rai. "My family had to put up with them all the time back in Rio."
Before I could remind our leader that we were up in the mountains far away from the nearest city, Dojo came rushin' back in and outta breath. The feller was only gone for a minute and yet he looked about as worn out as my Daddy's old lasso rope.
"Guys…you might…wanna come…see this," he huffed out.
I asked, "Why? Who's at the door?"
"Trust me, it'd be easier if I just showed you."
Huh. Well, no sense in sittin' around doin' nothin'. Master Fung and the rest of us got up and followed the worry wort over to the front entrance. As we stepped out into the crisp, cool morning air, we could see plain as day that our surprise guest was none other than- -
"YesBot!?" x4
That no-good brown-noser of a robot built by that varmint, Jack Spicer! It wasn't a fighting machine, so we never saw too much of it in battle. But whenever we did, you better believe it was always tryin' to suck up to that dirty outlaw!
Although...somethin' was mighty off 'bout this here machine. Its eyebrows were furrowing somethin' fierce, which made the permanent smile painted on its face look incredibly forced. Not only that, but there also seemed to be dried oil stains under its eyes, givin' it the impression it had been cryin' for a good spell. Now, I ain't tech savvy like Kimiko, but I'm pretty sure robots don't normally cry.
It spoke, "Ahem, um…Greetings, Xiaolin Monks. It, it sure is a stupendous day out today, isn't it? Hah-hah…haaaah…"
For an otherwise cheery tin can, it sure didn't sound like its heart was in it.
"Alright – cut the small talk you creepy sycophant!' Raimundo interjected. "What're you doing here? Come to steal our Wu for your boss? Like that would ever happen!"
"Don't tell me Jack's gotten so desperate that he's actually sending in his yes-man to fight for him," joked Kim. "Because that would be a record-breaking low, even for him!"
Her boyfriend quipped along with her, "Heh, yeah! After how hard I whupped him in the last Showdown, I bet his butt is still in a sling!"
Omi couldn't keep himself composed any longer and laughed with the couple horsin' around. "Oh-ho-ho-hooo! Most amusing, as well as shameful! A humiliating defeat like that would surely put his rear end in the infirmary! Spicer must simply be beside himself with embarrassment! Ah, but such is the way of the Heylin: to be trounced by the forces of- -"
The little guy was cut off by three simple words that carried a punch to the gut in all of us.
"Jack is dead."
Suddenly, the morning air went from cool to frigid in a snap. I and many others felt a shiver go down our spines after hearing those three damning words. When the silence grew to be intolerable, I had to get something extremely important cleared up right away.
"We…we didn't rough him up that bad, n-now did we?"
Just suggesting that was enough to make breakfast jump in my stomach. But I managed to keep it down.
YesBot's response was uncharacteristically cold and blunt, "You weren't responsible for his death if that's what you're thinking. After he came home from his defeat in South America, Jack had to leave again for a supply run. Then, at 10:13 A.M. Hong Kong Time, the bots and I all received an automatic distress signal from his wrist communicator. His…his vital signs had…flatlined…"
Omi and Kim both gasped while Rai put a hand to his head. Dojo's tail drooped low to the ground and Master Fung was unreadable as always. I took my hat off and held on for dear life. There was no way Jack could be dead, we just saw the kid yesterday for God's sake!
YesBot pulled a handkerchief out of some compartment and wiped away a few drops of oil leakin' from his eyes. It was already stained before he used it.
"W-we sent a CameraBot to investigate," he continued, sounding more heartbroken than bitter. "And sure enough, they were loading what was left of him in a body bag and carted him away in an ambulance. Check any major news outlet if you want, it's all their discussing right now."
Before I could so much as blink, Kimiko was already playing a live video on her electronic device and had it up to full blast. We all craned our necks in just to see the news anchor on the small screen confirm the worst for us.
"- -as enigmatic inheritor to Spicer Industries, John Edward Spicer, was confirmed dead by paramedics in Victoria Harbour, Hong Kong. Eyewitness testimonies have unanimously agreed that the cause of death was by a speeding, hijacked truck in the local shopping district. One eyewitness, who wishes to remain anonymous, claimed that they would've been the victim of the hit-and-run had it not been for the young man pushing them out of harm's way. Police investigations of the hijacker are still ongoing."
"Meu Deus…"
Kimiko muted the video once Raimundo started muttering to himself in Portuguese.
So it was true. Jack really was dead. Got hit by a truck savin' an innocent's life. I, I never would've imagined it. I mean, I had my doubts 'bout him bein' "evil incarnate" and all that, but still, I didn't think that's how'd he go. And still so young too – good Lord, how old was he now? Sixteen!? Too young…
"I haven't worked up the nerve to contact his parents yet," the machine chocked, "But it's likely they know now that his passing has gone international. And the JackBots, oh, the JackBots are all at a loss – it's chaos back at the base! I can keep them somewhat organized with my emergency admin protocols, but it's still not enough! Without our master, our Jack, the Spicer Federation is nothing more than a leaderless faction...Or, as Clay would put it, 'a chicken with its head cut off'."
It was then that Master Fung finally spoke up in what felt like years. "YesBot, was it?"
"…Yes."
"You and your companions are more than welcome to stay at the temple if need be."
Under normal circumstances, that would've been the worst news we'd ever heard. But we've already heard even worse, and after unknowingly makin' fun of a dead man, the others didn't object.
"W-well, I…Thank you, sir, but that won't be necessary. We'll likely continue to stay at Spicer Mansion until…Well, I really don't know, but still, thank you for the offer."
"You're still welcome to visit," Dojo suggested.
"Yes, and I'll probably hold you up on that. Honestly, I didn't know who else to turn to after word of the incident spread throughout the base. I figured, as the only people who displayed some level of basic social interaction with Jack, you would be the best candidates. Enemy status notwithstanding of course."
Ouch.
"Anyway, I should hurry back home now. There's been a recent anomaly detected in the base's servers; some backup files have vanished and I'm having trouble tracing the source of the hacker. I need to make sure our security system isn't compromised."
"Of course," Master Fung said calmly, "and once again, my deepest condolences. Young monks, training sessions are cancelled until further notice. If you ever need to talk to me in private, please do not hesitate to come visit me in my meditation chambers. Come along now, Dojo.
The little dragon coiled around Master Fung's arm like a snake and the two of them strode back inside. YesBot said a few more stilted goodbyes before flyin' away into the mountains, but none of us paid any attention to the specifics.
I can't recall how long I was standin' there under that there archway, but by the time I came to my senses, it was just me and Omi left outside. Kim and Rai must've gone back in at some point.
Omi. Poor feller. He may be the most experienced monk in this side of China, but he's still just a kid. Plus, he was the only one of us who had any real faith in Jack changing for the better. Well, all I can say is at least he did one decent thing in his life before it was tragically cut short. And I'd be a lyin' son of a gun if I said I didn't have a shred of respect for him as a result.
"Hey, c'mon, Omi. Let's head back in, huh?"
Slowly, the little one turned his head toward me and nodded silently. I can tell how much this is affecting him already.
I let Omi go in first, but just before I set foot in the temple myself, I heard the nasty caw of a crow comin' from behind me, and somethin' 'bout didn't sound natural. I looked back just in time to see it fly off into the distance, cawing like a mad beast.
Sounds like word is spreading through the grapevine faster than we thought.
Whoa, what's this? Jack didn't die an embarrassing death à la Kazuma after all? I wonder if that bit of controversy will come up in a far-off chapter I have reserved for the future? Only time will tell…Ooo, gradually worldbuilding…
So yeah, every now and then I'll drop these little intermissions about how the cast of Xiaolin Showdown are taking the news of Jack's passing. I can't think of many isekais that showcase the goings-on of the world the protagonist left, so I thought this would be a nice breath of fresh air. The idea is that these intermissions will serve as buffers to ease readers into the next story arc as well as to provide additional context back home on Earth. Hope that's alright.
But don't worry, next chapter we'll be getting back into the evil high-fructose adventures of Jack and his idiotic henchwomen – I mean, companions. So stick around for the fun!
