"Alert! Alert! The Mobile Fortress Destroyer is on the move! All able-bodied adventurers report to the guild hall immediately! All civilians evacuate the area now!"

For a split-second that seemed to stretch on for a solid minute, my party and I all kinda looked at each other in surprise. I was still sitting on the couch ready to have a heart attack over my secrets being spilled when I got saved by the bell. Or, rather, the town's emergency PA system. Believe me when I say I'd much rather deal with an invasion right now than talk about my feelings with these girls. Though something tells me I won't be getting out of that so easily…

Darkness quickly sprang up from her seat next to me, going into serious knight mode without skipping a beat. "Let's go, everyone grab your gear. We're heading to the guild."

"You're kidding!" Aqua exclaimed. "We should be packing our bags and leaving town before it gets hit by the Destroyer! Staying would be suicide!"

"As adventurers, we took an oath to protect the weak and uphold law and order," Darkness argued back calmly. If I wasn't plagued with anxiety and was anything other than a villain, I probably would've considered her pretty badass right about now. "That goes doubly so for us knights. I will not force you to go against your will. However, if you value your integrity, you'll come…"

I still knew next to nothing about this Destroyer thing, so I guess I'll tag along, if only to find out what it even is.

Megumin, for the second time since I've known her, looked apprehensive at best. She fidgeted with her staff for a bit before a look of resolve crossed her face and she put on her eyepatch. "A Crimson Demon never backs down, even against insurmountable forces. I can do this, let's go!"

That just left one self-proclaimed goddess left. Aqua glanced from side to side, as if looking for some imaginary friend to back her up, while the rest of us waited impatiently for her to decide. Surprisingly enough, she didn't wuss out on us like I had predicted and instead chose to stand by us.

"I still think we're crazy not to leave," Aqua said, slight irritation creeping into her tone. "But then again…we're not exactly a normal team, either."

The water goddess then looked over to Darkness and even managed a smirk. "Besides, when you put it like that, I'd be a monster not to stay and defend. Just put me in a support role and I'll do my best!"

"That's all anyone could ever ask for, Aqua," Darkness said with a small smile. "And thank you for doing the right thing."

Okay, this was getting a little too heroic for my liking. I'm only interested in protecting my home and nothing else, thank you. I mean, I just waxed the floors in my evil lair. You think I'm gonna let all that effort go to waste by skipping town at the first sign of danger? Heck no! I'm chicken, but not that chicken.

Dark's smile soon faded and was replaced by her stoic resting face again. "Alright, we've wasted enough time as is. To the guild, people, let's go already!"

Boy, she sure can be serious when she wants to, huh? Humans are a weird bunch. Now robots, those guys are easy to understand!

Factually obvious statements aside, we all rushed to grab are gear and run out the door. But as I was slipping on my trench coat, Darkness briskly brushed past me, but not before saying something which filled me with a fresh new wave of dread.

"Oh, and Jack? Once matters have been settled with the Destroyer, we're going to have a team meeting regarding your…concerns with us. Don't forget now, you hear?"

Yup, called it. Fuck! I knew I wasn't out of the woods just yet! My only hope is that everyone gets too tired afterward to remember the meeting and they all go straight to bed or something. I still need more time to think about what I'm gonna do!

Well, unfortunately, that was just going to have to be put on pause at the moment. Once we were all geared up, the girls charged out the door while I deliberately lagged behind in a slow jog. Now that they know how I really feel about them, I'm finding it uncomfortable to be around them at the moment. I've already sent a private message to CB-5P131B3R6 to burn the incriminating reels, but the damage has been done. I don't know what this'll means for us going forward from here on out, but I doubt it'll be anything good.

And by good, I of course mean…oh, you should know what I mean by now.

As the girls and I made our way over to the Adventurer's Guild, I got to see the locals freaking out. They were hauling ass and hauling bags as they scurried like directionless ants. There were some town guards trying to keep an orderly line forming, but many impatient people ignored it and attempted to make a break for it on their own. And then there was the expected talk about the "Destroyer" and how it's "gonna level the place" among all the panicked screams.

For as increasingly anxious as I was about the whole ordeal, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a tiny bit envious on top of it. If some walking castle (that's what I'm assuming it is) can shake the locals up this badly, then what the hell have I been doing for almost half a year? What a load of dookie…

Eventually, we arrived at the guild along with a couple of reluctant stragglers, of which I was slowly considering myself to be one of. When we got inside, the tense atmosphere was practically palpable. What was once an admittedly laid-back hub to hang out in felt more comparable to that of a war room. With each passing second, I was regretting coming along more and more. Combine that with my earlier fears of having my innermost thoughts being exposed and Jack Spicer was not a happy camper right now.

Once we joined up with the murmuring crowd of restless adventurers, Luna stepped forward and began to address us.

"Thank you all so much for coming. You are our town's first, last, and only line of defense, and I can't express how thankful I am that you would put your lives on the line for us all."

Somebody get me out of this draft already…I'm too young and pretty to die twice!

A random guild staff member stepped beside Luna holding some kind of crystal ball. "Okay everyone, our Intel shows the Mobile Fortress Destroyer is approaching from the northwest. Our town stands directly in its path. By our projections, it will be at our walls within one hour…"

The crystal ball the employee was holding began to show an image. I and many others had to lean in to get a decent view of what it was showing us. At first, all it showed was an empty grass field. The only other detail of note was the odd circles of dead grass dotting the plain. They were clean cut tracks, definitely man-made in nature. Not surprising really, I didn't think something called a "Mobile Fortress Destroyer" would be natural. But it still didn't tell me much about it.

That's when the spindly, mechanical legs came into view.

My heart skipped a beat and my mind went into overdrive when the crystal ball zoomed out to reveal more. I saw seven glassy eyes with what appeared to be strings of binary code dancing across each one. The black sphere that was its "head" was probably around 45 feet in diameter at the smallest and sported some protrusions on the front that looked distinctly like…like mandibles.

The body and butt of the thing I'd say were around 100 feet wide and 130 feet tall. Those goddamn creepy-crawly legs could've been anywhere from 260 to possibly even 390 feet in length as they carried the fucking thing across the field. Exhaust ports bellowed out smoke from behind while automated laser turrets fried a bird that got unlucky enough to fly too close to it. The feed of the crystal ball also happened to cut out around that time too.

Okay, so, two things immediately stuck out in mind when I first saw the Destroyer. The first of which being WHY WAS IT SHAPED LIKE A SPIDER!? Ever since giant spiders nearly devoured my world and me, I've had the worst case of arachnophobia going forward. There's a reason I discontinued the SpiderBot line of production; I couldn't bear to look at my own creations anymore without shaking uncontrollably. That incident really messed me up.

The second thing that stuck out to me was the fact the Destroyer wasn't a magical walking castle like I'd thought, but rather a weaponized mech. Even if I wasn't deathly afraid of anything spiders, that alone was cause for alarm. Up until now, I've been operating under the assumption that I was the only one in "fairytale land" who possessed any knowledge on the field of robotics. That it was a domain I could confidently call my own and no one else's, my special place…

So imagine my distraught when someone else's technological terror comes bursting into my little bubble to hand me a reality check! I thought my scientific knowhow made me unique around here, but I guess not apparently. Life can be so unfair!

Anyway, that still begs the question of who's the smarty-pants that made the Destroyer in the first place. It has to be someone who reincarnated from my world, it just has to. That thing's way too advanced for these backwater yokels to invent all by themselves without magic. If the most complex invention they can create that doesn't involve the occult is a PA system, then there's no way that walker is of local tech.

"Hey- -"

"AH!"

I got spooked when something poked at my arm, and I still had spiders on the brain, so I assumed the worst. Turns out it was only Chris trying to get my attention.

"Whoa, easy there, Jumpy!" she said while quickly retracting her hands. "Didn't mean to scare ya. I understand things are tense right now, but I was gonna ask if you happened to have any ideas rolling around in that head of yours."

Just then, Satou stepped out from the sea of adventurers, alongside his timid partner in crime. "Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, you're the only one in town who knows his way around machines. And since the Mobile Fortress is basically a giant mech of all things, there really is no one else who's more qualified for the job. So, what does 'Axel's Resident Genius' have planned for us, hmm?"

Great, now all eyes were on me, including my teammates'. I was hoping that the less they acknowledge my existence, the more likely they might forget about the meeting later tonight. But, of course, the one time I don't want attention, it's thrust onto me. Oh the irony…

Well, no use in crying over spilled milk. Better put my evil intellect to work and come up with a plan to stop the Destroyer. However…with everyone in the guild making a conscious effort to stare at me, my irrational fear of spiders still in effect, and this morning's anxieties still fresh in my mind, I was drawing a blank. Still, I had to get something out there for the public, so I winged it.

"Okay, hear me out: what if…we get a really long rope and set it up so that, when the Destroyer comes along, it trips over it and breaks on impact?"

The silence that followed was deafening. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to shrink down and live the rest of my second life in the nearest mouse hole. Too bad I didn't have the Changing Chopsticks on me when I originally died in Hong Kong.

"…You've got to be kidding!" Satou exclaimed, angrily jabbing a finger in my direction. "All this talk about you being a 'genius' and that's what you come up with!? Are you mad!?"

"B-But it worked in Empire Strikes Back, didn't it?" I defended meekly. "That's gotta count for something."

"That was a movie, you dumb Westerner!" the fuming Japanese teenager shot back. "Really, you can build honest-to-God robots but you can't come up with a plan that isn't based on a movie you saw? Unbelievable!"

Still somewhat miffed, Satou turned back around to the crowd of adventurers and asked, "Well, does anyone else have any bright ideas? Or how about some more information on the Destroyer? The more we know about what we're going up against, the better."

Dang, getting disregarded just like that? It's official, today was not my usual A-game.

A random mage hesitantly stepped forward from the crowd. "W-Well, I heard it was once developed by a distinguished savant from a kingdom with advanced magical technology; Norse, I believe it was called. M-Maybe we could find a way to contact the head researcher somehow?"

"I'm afraid that won't be possible," Yunyun (of all people) adamantly stated. "I read up on the fall of Norse back in Crimson Demon Academy. While the exact details are lost to time, it was documented that when the Destroyer was first switched on, its creators were the first to die…"

Whoa, okay, back up that exposition dump truck! There was a lot to process from that short exchange.

First up, what the fuck is this about a technologically advanced kingdom? I'm still behind on incorporating magic into my tech, so the idea that a whole civilization already beat me to it is both terrifying and enviable!

Thankfully, if what Yunyun read was accurate, it seems the kingdom was the first to bite the dust when the Destroyer came online, so that's one potential threat out of the way at least. Who knows, maybe one of these days I could go visit the ruins and hopefully salvage something worthwhile. That'd be a fun vacation!

Secondly, I bet all my pudding cups this "head researcher" is our supposed interloper from Earth. Again, no one but me should have any knowledge on robotics, so this guy must also be a mad scientist with his eyes set on world domination, assuming he survived the fall of Norse.

If he did survive, then he's gonna wish he didn't real soon! This world ain't big enough for two wannabe conquers! I oughta squish his dumb mech with my own mech. That'd teach him a lesson on calling dibs!

Wait a minute…That's it, that's exactly what I'll do! Man, why didn't I think of the idea sooner…? Oh, right, because it's not finished yet. Not only that, but I don't think the JackMech is beefy enough for a direct confrontation with the Destroyer either.

Well…any idea is better than no idea.

"Hey, um, I actually have another idea?" I said carefully, not fully realizing I was raising my hand while doing so. Damn school instincts kicking in.

"Oh great," Satou groaned irritably. "Let me guess, is it based on something else you saw from a movie or TV show?"

"Wow, you are never going to let me live that down, are you?" I snapped lightly, immediately carrying on before he had a chance to reply with backsass of his own. "Anyway, no, it's not. This idea is actually a lot more feasible, albeit a little shaky."

Satou raised an eyebrow and slowly crossed his arms while continuing to give me the stink eye. "This had better be good then…"

Once again, I felt all judgmental eyes on me again. I swallowed nervously as I began to explain. "I-I didn't want to reveal one of my cards so soon like this but…desperate times call for desperate measures. To put simply…I've been working on a mech of my own."

Satou's eyes widened. There was confused murmuring coming from the crowd of adventurers behind him. Figures only the Japanese kid would know what a mech was while the rest didn't have a clue. Besides, he always struck me as an Evangelion fanboy.

"Hang on, are you talking about that giant metal statue of yourself you showed us the other day?" Megumin suddenly questioned.

"That's the one," I answered dismissively without looking back at her (didn't want to risk losing my flow). "Though, granted, it's not exactly complete yet in terms of construction. However, I'm pretty sure it's in a stable enough state for me to pilot it around without much trouble. I know this may not sound like my best sales pitch here, but we kinda need to pull out all the stops if we want to have a shot at surviving this encounter. And what better way to do that than to fight fire with fire, y'know?"

For once, Satou didn't give me any unnecessary lip service. In fact, he actually seemed to be considering my proposition! He didn't know it, but that alone gave me some much needed confidence in my own half-baked idea. Like I said, desperate times call for desperate measures.

But as Satou was rubbing his chin in contemplation, that one buff adventurer with the horned mask who's name I already forgot spoke up from within the crowd. "Fat load o' good a giant tin man can do against the Destroyah's magic shield! There hasn't been an adventurer powerful enough to break through its defenses!"

"I can dispel its shield."

Everyone, including me, looked over to Aqua. She blinked for a moment and gazed curiously at her onlookers before shrugging indifferently.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I can, anyway. Did you all forget how amazing my stats were when I first joined the guild? They were totally maxed out, even from the start! And I've only gotten stronger since then!"

The rest of the adventurers all scratched their heads like a buncha baboons as they basically reaffirmed what we already knew: that Aqua was the first guild member to start off with an advanced class and had great stats and blah, blah, blah. We get it, guys, so quit rubbing it in my face already! It's hard enough trying to repress that memory without my own teammate bringing it up every five minutes on her own time…

"Yeah, and not only that, but we also got our ace-in-the-hole in case things get dicey!" added Keith, who I failed to realize was close beside me along with Tomato Boy. "Y'know, Crazy Boom Girl?"

"Assuming she isn't crazy enough to cast Explosion prematurely, I guess she could be our trump card…" Dust grumbled loudly.

"Hey, I have a proper name you know!" Megumin shouted. "Call me crazy one more time and I'll blow you all up, you hear!?"

Spoken like a non-crazy person.

Just then, a familiar voice rang out through the crowd as they attempted to sidestep into view. What the heck was Wiz doing here?

"Excuse me! Sorry I'm late everyone!" said the lich incognito once she successfully parted the sea of bodies around her. "Um…hi! For those who don't know, I'm Wiz, owner of the local magic shop down the street. While I may be retired, I am a registered adventurer and I thought I could offer some assistance in these uncertain times."

Surprisingly, Wiz was met with ecstatic cheering from the whole guild, leaving me to wonder what all the hype was about.

I asked Keith and Dust, "Hey, is Wiz supposed to be, like, famous or something?" Despite still being uncomfortable around them, I was currently more uncomfortable with my own party given this morning's reveal, so I confided in them for the time being.

That decision was immediately tested when Tomato Boy decided to get snippy with me yet again. "Have you been living under a rock? Everyone knows Wiz had a reputation for being a tough-ass chick back in her adventuring days. What backwater village did you come from?"

Your whole world is a backwater village you little - !

Keith cut me off from my mental rant as he said, "Just ignore him. But yeah, Wiz was renowned for being one of this guild's best adventurers. She was especially known for her advanced ice magic and matching cold attitude, earning her the nickname of 'The Ice Witch'."

Really? That bouncy marshmallow used to be a stone-cold adventurer before she became a lich? Okay, color me intrigued. I wasn't before but now I was actually kinda interested to learn more about her. Even though I still have it out for immortals, at least they make for great storytellers.

"Okay everyone!" Luna shouted. "Let the emergency quest to save Axel Town commence!"

Determined cheers filled the room once again. Meanwhile, I restrained myself from letting out a deflated whimper. If I ever got out of this alive, I was swearing off from drinking. I blame the bottle for everything that was happening right now, even the unrelated Destroyer!


Aside from the small breeze provided by the propeller blades on my HeliBot, the air around me felt…off. Like…unnaturally off. Not the most creative description, I know, but that's the best I could come up with. I'm an evil genius, not a wordsmith.

Regardless, I continued to hover over the town and keep my eyes peeled for any sign of the Destroyer. After we all worked together to formulate a plan of attack, they tasked me with the ever so glamorous honor of lookout duty. Since I was the only adventurer with the powers of flight at my disposal, I was selected without hesitation. My HeliBot combined with my Farsight Skill did make for pretty killer combo, there's no denying that. But still, I can't help but feel like I'm being used as a tool by everyone else right now.

Speaking of everyone else, the majority of the adventurers were busy setting up a makeshift wooden barrier around the front gates, like they think that'll help. Aqua, Wiz, and Megumin were already in position on the twin turrets overlooking the fields. The moment the Destroyer rears its ugly bug head, Aqua will use Sacred Dispel to, hopefully, break through the magical shields on that thing. Assuming that she does (which this whole plan is hinging on), that'll be my cue to rev up my own mech and have myself a big bot brawl. If all else fails, Megumin and Wiz are on standby to pelt it with Explosion magic as a last resort.

Also, yes, Wiz can apparently cast Explosion. Made sense, she's been around the block long enough to accumulate an excess of skill points to spend willy-nilly. It's standard RPG practice when a player reaches max level. Still didn't make the reveal any less concerning though.

And then there was the odd one out: Darkness. She volunteered herself to "stand guard" way out in the fields for when the Destroyer arrives, making herself the first thing that'll inevitably get trampled if the plan falls through. My gut assumption was she just looking for another way to get her rocks off when we fail like usual. However, the telltale signs of her being horny weren't present when she volunteered as tribute, and she seemed deadly serious about it…

Then again, it could've just been a convincing front, but I wouldn't know for sure unless I flew over to where she was standing and interrogated her myself. Obviously, I couldn't exactly do that for…y'know…personal reasons.

I groaned in frustration. Why was I getting this worked up over what happened this morning anyway? So Darkness and the others discovered I'm scared to get close to them, big whoop! We're all still technically strangers to one another, it's only natural to be hesitant. I like to keep my options open when it comes to these partnerships because they're bound to go south eventually. Better to play it safe than to get too attached, that's what I have to say on the matter.

So then why am I letting myself get attached to these idiots!? Don't they realize there are, admittedly, far better horses to back out there than me? They already think I'm "chuuni" for wanting to rule the world anyway, so how come they're still sticking around? Because they're too dumb to know better?

Well…maybe. But then they haven't had a good reason to ditch me yet either. And I have a sinking feeling that the opportunity for them to do so is coming sooner rather than later…

Before I could let myself slip into another spiral of my own making, a glint on the horizon caught my eye. Activating Farsight, I could make out the form of the Destroyer crawling out from behind the distant mountains.

Remember Jack, it's only a machine, not a real spider. You work with machines all the time, so this should be like second nature to you. Just don't think about how it's black like a black widow or how it moves like a daddy long legs or how it's got a face like a tarantula- -

Sometimes I wonder if my brain is as much of a masochist as Darkness is.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and pulled out a crude megaphone that Luna loaned me. I gave the signal.

"YO, DINGBATS! HERE IT COMES!"

By the way, as a side note, would it have killed the locals to adapt their siren technology into their megaphones? They are literally just curled up paper cones. I had to strain the vocal cords that I mainly reserve for evil laughs just to get everybody to hear me down below. So stupid, it makes me more convinced that the Destroyer's creator is an Earth human.

Anyway, the workers dropped the logs they were using to build the useless barricade while the adventurers all braced themselves for the inevitable. Once the Destroyer was out of the mountains and in clear view, it stopped in place curiously enough. It wasn't until the machine did a long distance laser scan on me and the town did I understand why. It was collecting and processing data on the settlement ahead before likely calculating if it was blacklisted or not. Maybe there was a chance Axel Town wasn't registered on the database?

That dumb idea was blasted into oblivion when the thing honked like a tripod from War of the Worlds and marched forward. Hey, at least I was trying to be optimistic.

Something white whipped past me before I could get a good look at it. However, I already knew what it was when I saw Aqua brandishing her previously missing flower bud staff and starting up her Sacred Dispel spell. Since this was my first time seeing this particular move in action, I had the best seat in the house. Apparently, Sacred Dispel involves having five large yellow ciphers similar to Megumin's lined up in front of you and emitting a powerful beam of energy at your target. Pretty neat.

What wasn't neat, however, was the Destroyer's shields blocking Aqua's attack. As soon as her beam was within reaching distance of the mech, a colorful magic barrier that was previously invisible came up to deflect it. The only thing going on for Aqua in that moment was her spell being just powerful enough to halt the Mobile Fortress in its tracks.

But that simply wasn't good enough in Jack's eyes! I should've expected as much from a fledgling demigod like her. The plan was doomed to fail!

"RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

With an ear-splitting screech to rival Wuya's, Aqua's beam suddenly got a whole heck of a lot more bright. Brighter? More brighter? Uh, a-anyway, that's not even mentioning the intense heat now radiating off of it. Seriously, I was behind the blast all the way up in the air and I even felt it.

Aqua's Sacred Dispel attack looked more electrifying than ever before, making it a little difficult for me to stare at it for very long. What I did manage to see was the spell not only physically pushing the Mobile Fortress back but, even crazier, actually doing its namesake!

The magic shield on the Destroyer shattered like glass, "shards" of it flying everywhere. After that, it felt as though time came to a complete standstill. The sudden silence that filled the area was incredibly surreal as everyone down below seemed to stare at the Immobile Fortress in total bewilderment, like they couldn't believe what they saw. Hell, even the Destroyer itself, who likely only possessed basic onboard AI, seemed just as confused as everyone else (I could more easily tell with these machines).

"Wait, that actually worked?"

What was I saying? Of course it worked! Never doubted Aqua for even a second! Nope!

It wasn't long before the water goddess and Megumin started yelling at me to get into position. Didn't need to tell me twice, I took my cue and flew back to Spicer Mansion II as fast as my HeliBot could go. Once I made it to the front doors, I swung them open and wasted no time in adjusting my propeller blades to accelerate me through the winding halls at blinding speeds.

As I was flying towards my destination, I took note of the JackBots moving throughout the mansion, packing everyone's clothes and belongings like I had ordered them to after hearing about the plan. It was always best to be ready to get out of dodge, even if that might not be the case this time around. Still, I wasn't going to tell them to stop or anything. Didn't have time to anyway.

Soon enough, I made it to the door to the cellar, swung it open like no tomorrow, and flew all the way downstairs into the depths of my evil lair. In record time, I found myself arriving at my destination: the hanger bay.

Flipping a nearby switch, the flood lights came on to illuminate the Jack Spicer Mech standing underneath the blast doors leading outside. My squadron of WingBots were still neatly lined up beside each leg, waiting to be given the activation command to fly out.

My previous worries crept their way back into my mind as I hovered myself into the cockpit. The JackMech didn't have all its parts fully reinforced just yet, and the experimental heat ray bazooka in the right arm was still…well, experimental. Plus, while being 50 feet tall was certainly nothing to sneeze at, it was nowhere close to being in the same weight class as the Destroyer. The odds of me taking down that eight-legged fucker with my own mech in its current state were slim at best.

Slapping myself silly, I consciously repressed those concerns into the back of my mind. I'm Jack freaking Spicer, baby; robots are my forte! I was not gonna back down because of someone else's toy spider! No, I was gonna show 'em how a real evil genius does it!

I grabbed the microphone attached to the dashboard, causing the loudspeakers embedded in the JackMech's "mouth" to crackle to life as I fiddled with it. I cleared my throat and spoke into it with all the bravado I could muster.

"Computer: open the hanger bay doors! WingBots: time to soar! David: can you go to the platform control station over on your left please? I forgot to set a timer on the lift. Thanks a million."

The lone JackBot unit, JB-D4V1D, flew to the control station and pulled the lever to activate the lift for the JackMech. The WingBots, meanwhile, came online and were already hovering beside my head (my mech's head that is) as we ascended into the outside world above. Due to the sheer size and scope of my underground hanger bay, I had to dig out far enough so that we pop out from behind the city walls. But don't worry, I made sure to paint the doors green so they could blend into the surrounding grass. Wouldn't want squatters to find their way into my lair and make themselves too at home.

"Alright boys, see the giant enemy spider due north?" I asked the WingBots through the JackMech's speakers, even raising one of its arms to point. "There are laser turrets mounted on the carapace. You know what to do."

The bots didn't need me to say anything more. They instantly assumed a "V" formation and took off like the vulture droids they were loosely modeled after. Hopefully, they'll distract the Destroyer long enough for me to charge up the plasma canon on my way there. Shooting it was going to eat up most of the JackMech's primary power. I quite literally only have one shot at this.

So if I miss my mark…well, let's just say I doubt the backup generators will get me very far.

I carefully piloted the mech around the city's outer walls, wincing when I heard the metal legs groan with each step. I couldn't afford to make this thing sprint, it'd compromise the structural integrity. Still, I was able to make great strides over the plains regardless, and was at the front gates in less than a minute.

Now, even though I was on a bit of a time crunch, I couldn't resist glancing out one of the eye windows. I needed to see the adventurers who'd been flagging me as "pragmatic" all this time gaze in shock and awe at my evil engineering! Needless to say, I got my fill and then some.

Turning my focus back at the task at hand, I found myself somewhat transfixed by the laser lightshow off in the distance. My WingBots actually succeeding in keeping the Destroyer still so it could attempt to pick them off one by one with its laser turrets. They flew all around the mechanized fortress like gnats as they fired their own lasers, taking potshots wherever they could and even managing to take out a few turrets. Likewise, the Destroyer was able to shoot down some of the bots and send them crashing into the ground.

Once this was over, I was going to give my flyboys a special oil bath for all their troubles.

The heat ray bazooka was about three-fourths of the way charged when something strange happened with the Destroyer. It let out a cartoony sounding steam whistle before lowering itself closer to the ground. Crawling out of the entrances and windows were what could be best described as a defense force of freaking steampunk golems. Their bodies appeared to be made up of the same black metal as their ride and they even had exhaust ports jutting out from their backs too.

"Great, as if those country bumpkins at the guild didn't have enough trouble discerning robots from golems…" I grumbled to myself before noticing how close my mouth was to the mic. "…this still on?"

I'd worry about it later as the golems slid down the Destroyer's gross-ass spider legs and charged at Darkness, who had yet to move from her spot on the field. And judging from how firmly her sword was implanted into the dirt, it didn't look she was going to move any time soon, the heroic masochist.

Things may be awkward between us right now, but I should probably step in since I know for a hard fact there isn't a damn thing she can do to stop those golems. Still need to save the JackMech's energy, though, so better be conservative about it.

I guided the mech over to where Darkness stood, being careful not to accidentally step on her as I did. Then, with stiff but controlled movements, I systematically squashed the approaching golems like I were playing a game of whack-a-mole with my giant robot feet. Giddy though I was at finally getting to feel OP for a change, I had to restrain myself from doing anything that would consume too much power. After all, my trump card had just finished fully charging by the time the golems were dealt with.

And just in the nick of time, too. Once I finished flattening the golems into pancakes, the Destroyer had blown the last of the WingBots out of the sky. With nothing left to distract it, the fortress on legs came right for me! Jumping Dashi on a pogo stick – that was one angry spider droid!

I almost, almost, locked up when I saw it speeding towards me. If it wasn't for my monitors dinging at me to fire the canon already, I probably would've let myself get run over without realizing.

It's just a bot, it's just a bot, it's just a b-b-b-bot!

I repeated this mantra in my head as I fumbled with the firing mechanisms. The JackMech switched its right arm out for the experimental heat ray bazooka and aimed it directly at the Destroyer.

Now, full disclosure? I've never actually fired this thing before. I nearly did on Omi and his basketball buddy, Jermaine, when we were fighting for the Serpent's Tail all the way back in New York. But then the Xiaolin Losers' pet dragon interrupted me before I had the chance. Well not this time!

As soon as the screen read "TARGET AQUIRED", my hand gripped the firing lever tightly. In spite of my my arachnophobia, I did allow myself to smirk evilly. Maybe saying a cool, witty one-liner will help alleviate my stress.

"Some pig? More like some…big pile of melted scrap! Prepare to meet your maker! Mwahahahahahahaaa!"

Ugh, even I cringed at that. But I already cemented it with the evil laugh, so now I had no choice but to own it. Was really regretting the inclusion of loudspeakers on the JackMech.

However, that would prove to be the least of my concerns as that was when I heard something more painful than my lame one-liner: the sound of metal groaning against itself. Admittedly nothing new at this point, I've had to contend with hearing that as I piloted my incomplete bot. But something about this groan in particular sounded much more…strained than all the others. Like the metal framework was on its last legs…

That's when the left leg finally gave out from under me.

I got hit with a barrage of error messages from my computer screens. The cockpit flashed red with warning lights as the emergency sirens blared indiscriminately in my ears. The overstimulation was real, and I could barely process what was happening as I came careening down along with my mech. What I did manage to piece together in the ensuing chaos was the heat ray firing…at the Destroyer's right set of legs.

In an attempt to look at the bright side, at least I now knew the weapon worked. It melted through the Mobile Fortress' legs like a hot knife through butter, literally crippling it and causing it to fall to the ground. Pretty damn sick!

Unfortunately, that's about where the bright side of things ended. Because now the Destroyer was sliding towards me with no sign of it slowing down for a good long while, effectively leaving me a deer in the headlights.

Also, I ran out of power...and the backup generators weren't working...and my mech was missing a leg of its own...shit.

I remembered screaming as I mashed the cracked eject button with every last ounce of my gamer instincts. Next thing I knew, I was getting jostled around in the cockpit again, this time accompanied by the sound of two Explosions going off simultaneously. I believe that was Plan B taking affect.

After the JackMech crash-landed and I got done peeling myself off the wall, everything went eerily quiet, both inside and outside. Climbing up the wreckage, I grabbed a lever that'd snapped off at some point and used it to smash a hole through one of the eye windows. I made sure to be mindful of the broken glass before hoisting myself out of the cockpit and surveying the damage.

My mech was mangled to hell and bent out of shape. It was going to take months of repairs to get it back to working order, and that's not even taking into account the amount of robot power it'll take to drag it all the way back to the hanger bay! The only thing that made me feel any better was seeing the Destroyer in an equally demolished state.

Speaking of which, it would seem the trajectory of Megumin and Wiz's combined Explosion flung me behind Darkness, who was standing mere inches away from the Destroyer's half-buried head. Did…did she not even flinch when all that crap happened in front of her?

Uh-oh, now she's noticed my presence. Just grin and give a thumbs-up, Jack, don't let her be reminded that you still can't bring yourself to trust her or anyone else in your party for that matter…

Whatever Darkness was about to say or do was interrupted when the Destroyer's eyes flashed red. A computerized voice with female programming came online automatically as it made an announcement.

"**Warning: critical damage sustained. Initiating emergency self-destruct sequence. All personnel, please evacuate in an orderly fashion and don't forget to visit the gift shop on your way out. Have a nice day.**"

Remember when I said things were eerily quiet before? Yeah, me too. Those were good times…


I have returned from Seattle! Good thing too, writing stories on my phone wasn't my preferred method of choice. I made some good progress while I was away and it got the job done well enough, but still, I always feel like I have more freedom and control when working on a computer, y'know?

Anyway, this chapter is...a bit of a weird one as it currently stands. I decided halfway through writing to split it into two halves, just like what I did with the Beldia fight. That is liable to change, however, depending on how long I make the other half. If it feels right to me (and the word count doesn't exceed over 11,000) I might re-edit them both to become one whole chapter again like I had originally planned. But what do you think? Did this chapter feel decently paced and could stand on its own? Or do you feel it would beneficial to make it a little longer, even if that just means going back in and adding more content without having to stich it together with another chapter? Please, let me know in the reviews, feedback like this is important to me if I want to improve as a writer.

Also, after a lot of back-and-forth on my end, I ultimately settled on Jack's mech being 50 ft. tall. I considered writing it to be 100 ft. and for a while retconned the previous chapter to reflect this, but I went back and kept it to 50. I don't know, having it be the height of, say, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man felt a bit...too much? Especially considering Jack's only recently constructed his new evil lair? I don't know, tell me what you think of that as well. I'm trying to strike the right balance of making him potentially deadly without making him overpowered (at least so soon). Any tips on that would be helpful as well.

Either way, I'm already getting a head start on the next chapter, and I'll be assisted by a certain friend of mine. So that should be fun. Peace out, y'all!