19th JUNE 2023
THIRD PERSON
"This is the first time one of these-a tournaments has ran into an important day."
Neither Mario or Sonic had even realised it was Father's Day until they checked in the morning.
"Strange, isn't it?"
Five years of the Super Smash Bros fighting tournaments and only one has ever went into Father's Day. Normally the competition would be held in July or August but everyone from Mario's dimension had kart races planned for a lot of the months, forgetting that the tournament was on again and not realising that competitor from the last four years as well as more were going to be there this year.
"Oh well, it's not-a like anyone here that we know is a parent."
"NOBODY HERE'S A PARENT, ARE THEY MARIO?"
Bowser's voice boomed and echoed throughout the fighter's lounge, used for preparations inbetween matches.
"Hey, nobody's talkin' to you, pal. So back off!" Sonic retorted, standing up for his friend.
"I didn't talk to you either, pipsqueak! So get out of my sight before I burn your flesh off!"
"You want me to skedaddle, do ya? If you say so..."
In a flash of light, Sonic ran out of the building and took a portal back to Green Hill Zone.
Promptly returning a second later with eight chilli dogs.
"I'm back. Got some snacks to kill time. Can't run at the speed of sound on an empty stomach."
At this remark, Isabelle joined in on the conversation.
"Shouldn't you always be starving when you run so far so often?"
"Nah, I never worry about it. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to see if you'd mind your own damn business or if I had to force you away!"
"Oh no, whatever shall I do? Me, the mighty King Koopa versus a pitiful rat squirming across the kitchen floor for breadcrumbs? I can't possibly win! Give up, Sonic. You'll never be better than me."
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm not a rat..."
Sonic charged a spindash, leading to Bowser choosing to move back for the first time in the conversation, staying there until even after Sonic had stopped charging and stopped it from releasing.
"I'm a hedgehog!"
STARLINE POV - PRESENT TENSE
It seems like there's a town over there leading up to the castle. It may be a bit more chaotic now that the Princess and heroes of the kingdom are away to punch others in the face. I can probably take a newspaper and figure out who the criminal of the area is.
First, let me take a closer look. Just walk over here and act natural...
Hmm, seems crowded enough. Now I just need to wait for a crowd to come in so I can blend in with them.
It's a bit annoying that they're the same height as me... at least their giant heads hide me.
Are they heads? Perhaps hats? Oh well, it doesn't really matter to me. Now where are those newspapers?
Oh, there they are!
I'll just take one of a-these, and I'll be on my merry way.
Let's check the headlines...
Captain Falcon Loses First Game of Tournament, no.
Koopa Freerunning Comes to New Donk City, definitely not.
Waluigi at Large During Smash Bros Competition Once More, perfect!
"On June 18th at 4am, Waluigi, three-time Smash Bros fighter Wario's partner in crime, was discovered to have stolen from the Tostarena Crazy Cap while it was closed."
JUNE 18, 2023
WALUIGI POV - PRESENT TENSE
16 days of the competition and I haven't pulled off ONE robbery. I need to get something useful this time. I'm low on coins and I need to power the apartment until Wario's back. Just get a few Power Moons and I'll be set until then and then go back to the house
They really left a backdoor entrance on the only store of this massive business in the area and thought they'd be ok?
Too bad, Waluigi time!
Just need to crawl through here and I'm in.
There. Now, let's take a look...
I can take 2 for now and hide out for a while until it blows over. I can rent something in New Donk and it'll be too busy for them to notice me.
JUNE 19, 2023
Might as well check the news.
Boring, boring, who even cares about that guy? His name's something like DJ Harvey, Haroldson? Whatever it is, he's as expired as an avocado from my first birthday. And I feel very old.
Waluigi at Large During Smash Bros Competition Once More!
Hang on...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6?
YOU PUT MY FANTASTIC ROBBERY AS THE 6TH STORY?
ME, WALUIGI THE GREAT?
ALONG WITH WARIO, THE HEAD THAT MAKES HEADLINES IN EVERY NEWSPAPER?
THE MAN WHO COMMITTED THE STARSTEALER JOB? [1]
WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER ANYMORE?
Honestly, I should just wait for Wario to return. If you don't want me in the news, well done! You've won!
Ignoring that public humiliation, I need to check my horoscope.
Poison mushroom, June 22-July 21.
Please give me good fortune...
"You will meet a platypus."
"A PLATYPUS?"
"Starline the Platypus, Mister Waluigi."
"Who and what are you?!"
"I'm pretty sure I just said my name and species."
"More than that!"
"I've still answered the second inquiry, unless you want to know what a platypus is."
"Just get on with it. Nobody wants a 4-paragraph, 1400 word long chapter of just talking."
"Too late. I'm Doctor Starline, I'm from the planet Mobius, which you probably know because of the Olympic Games you've been in."
"Yeah..."
"That you've failed continuously. In fact, you've never had things go your way, have you?"
"If you keep rubbing it in, I know what's for dinner; duck pie."
"First, platypus. Second, I've had trouble. Mainly in a certain city. With a capital T that rhymes with P and that stands for Pain."
"I know what you've dealt with, Waluigi. You've spent years as the sidekick to Wario, practically made to be the second half. Yet the world treats you like a tenth. When you're not considered a lackey to your brother, you're being beaten by everyone at every turn. You haven't had a moment's piece of mind."
"But that's all in the past!"
"Precisely. Now, nobody, not even Mario will stand in your way!"
Interesting...
"And how do you plan on making that come true?"
"Well, the world's grandest plot has been simmering in my great criminal brain. You see, I've gained the ability to travel across dimensions. There are two weeks until the Smash Bros competition ends and now's the perfect chance to strike. I'm going to get villains from across the universe to overpower all of the heroes in one fell swoop, leaving us unholy underdogs on top!"
"And you chose me to be the first on the list?"
Lucky me, the test subject of whatever failure this birdbrain has planned.
"You're in probably the most popular planet in the universe. Also the names here make it far easier to find specific people than other places' will. I can find a guy named Waluigi in four minutes, if I was looking for a Larry, I'd spend an eternity and three quarters. [2] You have your doubts about my schemes but I can guarantee that while your earlier crimes were fine at the time, now you'll be seen for the wonder you are."
"Fine, I'm in. But I have one question first:
Where's our hideout?"
[1] This refers to Mario Party 3, where Waluigi takes the Mischief Star Stamp, one of seven stamps needed to acquire the Millennium Star.
[2] Only around 2 people reading this will ever understand why I chose Larry.
A large amount of the second half of Waluigi's perspective is lines from the song 'The World's Greatest Criminal Mind' from The Great Mouse Detective that I managed to work in over time.
