A/N: Two fic updates in a week after not touching any fics for months? Who is she?


While JJ drifted in and out of a drug induced sleep, Will paced anxiously up and down the hallway outside her room. He was too wired to drive, and so Rossi, who, in addition to his makeshift base at the nearby hotel had also managed to commandeer a vehicle from the field office, had graciously offered to pick up Sandy and the boys from the airport.

His mind was running a million miles an hour. So many questions, one after the other, on an endless loop through his head as he wore a repeated track into the linoleum of the hospital corridor. But one was sticking more frequently in the front of his mind; what if JJ couldn't fight the infection? What if she didn't make it?

"Dad!"

Turning at the familiar cry, Will managed to paste a smile on his face just in time to catch Michael as he flung himself at his father. "Hey buddy! Oh my god, I've missed you so much!"

"I missed you too," Michael said softly, the enthusiastic energy giving way to innocent calm as Will straightened up and lifted Michael to his hip. It had been a while since Michael had been held that way; both of their boys were exceedingly tall, and Michael had recently had a growth spurt, but right now, Will just wanted to hold his children as close as possible.

Approaching slower than his brother, Henry's worry was written all over his face as he reached his father, Sandy and Rossi following a few feet behind. "Where's Mom?"

"She's restin'," Will said gently, gripping Michael with one hand and holding the other out to Henry. Henry accepted the gesture without hesitation, stepping up beside his dad and gratefully allowing himself to be wrapped in a tight hug.

"I thought you said she didn't want to see anyone," Sandy said as she reached the little group now gathering in the hallway. "Why the sudden change?"

Heaving a heavy sigh, Will carefully set Michael down on his feet, still keeping a grip on his youngest's hand as he straightened up. "Let's go into the family room so I can explain everythin'"

Wordlessly, the little family made their way into the nearby family room, Rossi excusing himself to go and check on Luke as they left. After ushering Sandy and the boys into the room, Will closed the door behind them, before gesturing for the boys to sit on the little sofa against the wall as he took a seat in the armchair opposite them. Sandy perched herself on the armrest beside Michael, her face grave as she looked between Will and the boys.

"I know… that this has all been scary for you boys, these last few days. And I'm sorry that it's been that way. It's been… real tough for your momma, and we're tryin' our best to manage everythin' as it comes, but in doin' that, Mom hasn't wanted to see anyone," Will started softly, making sure to look both the boys in the eye as he spoke. "She's been tryin' to come to terms with everythin' that's happened"

"But why did you get us to come here today?" Henry asked nervously. "Is Mom…-"

"No," Will said quickly, shaking his head as he realised where his son's train of thought was going. "No, Mom isn't dyin'. But she is very sick right now, and she's… not feelin' her best. I thought that seein' you boys might help her feel a bit better until her body can catch up"

"What's Mom sick with?" Henry asked.

"She has an infection in her blood. The doctors are givin' her some pretty intense medication to try and kill it, but it's makin' her feel pretty lousy right now"

"Can we see Mom now?" Michael piped up.

"In a minute," Will said gently. "I just… I want to explain to you what you're goin' to see when you go in there, ok?"

Michael nodded, looking up at Henry to see what his big brother's reaction was. Henry remained still, his face unreadable.

"First of all, you're gonna see that Mom has a tube in her nose. This is to help empty her stomach. The medicine they've been givin' her made her really sick, so the doctors decided to put the tube in to help her stop throwin' up," Will explained carefully. "She's very pale. And there's a bandage on her neck from when the doctors fixed her broken bones"

He took a deep breath, before leaning forward to speak more particularly towards his youngest son. "Momma can't move very well right now. Especially her body," he said, gesturing towards Michael's torso to make sure the youngster understood, "and her legs. But I don't want you to be scared, ok? She's still Mom. All that's changed is her body isn't workin' too well right now"

"Ok," Michael replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

"If you're ready, I'll take you in to see her," Will offered. Michael nodded straightaway, but Henry took a short pause before slowly nodding and getting up off the couch.

"I'll wait in here," Sandy said weakly. "Let the boys see her first, and I'll come in after"

Will nodded, reaching for Michael's hand as he got to his feet, silently leading the boys from the room. They walked down the hallway, the morning quiet still hanging around in the early hours of the day. As they reached the door of JJ's room, Will stopped for a moment, his hand resting on the handle as he looked at his two boys.

"Remember she's still the momma you know and love," he said softly, his chest suddenly feeling heavy with sadness; no longer could he protect the boys from the reality of what had happened to their mom. They were about to be engulfed in this world alongside them. "She's just as scared and uncertain as you are right now… probably even more so"

Henry nodded, hanging back half a step as Will slowly pushed open the door, leading them quietly into the room. As the door swung closed behind them, plunging the room into a soft silence, Will let go of Michael's hand and reached out towards the curtain separating the doorway from the rest of the room. Without even hesitating, Henry reached for Michael's other hand, holding tight to his brother as they nervously followed their dad forward.

When they stepped around the curtain, Henry felt his heart drop. Sure, his dad had explained everything as best as he could to try and prepare them for what they were going to see… but nothing could have accurately conjured up in his mind the image of his mother as he was seeing her now. She didn't even look like the same person. Amongst the tubes and wires, shrouded in blankets, she looked so tiny, and so vulnerable.

How was this the same person who had fiercely taken down so many bad guys over the years?

"Jayje," Will said softly as he approached the edge of the bed. "There's some people here to see you"

Fighting off exhaustion, JJ cracked her eyes open. Will watched as they sluggishly moved around the room, trying to focus on the faces within it. As she got her bearings, Will stepped to the side, gesturing for someone to join him at her bedside. And then, right in front of her, were the tired and frightened faces of her two beautiful boys.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in disbelief, her eyes filling with tears as the sudden onslaught of emotion threatened to overtake her.

"Dad wanted us to come and see you," Henry said quietly as Will reached down and lifted Michael up to sit on the edge of the bed by JJ's legs. "We missed you"

"I've missed you too bud," JJ said tearfully. "So so much"

Michael's little eyes were roaming up and down his mom's body, his young mind clearly trying to process everything he was seeing in front of him. Tentatively, he looked up towards his father, the uncertainty written all over his face as he opened his mouth and spoke in the softest whisper JJ had ever heard from her young son. "Can I give Mom a hug?"

Will softened, relaxing into a smile as he looked towards JJ, waiting for her to indicate that it was ok. She gave the smallest nod, prompting him to look back down at Michael with a reassuring smile. "Be very gentle, ok?"

Michael nodded, gingerly climbing forward and arranging himself along JJ's right side. Her heart seemed to leap into her throat, the tears doubling in intensity when, instead of giving her a quick hug, he lay down beside her, carefully making sure he wasn't knocking any of the medical tubes as he rested his head on her shoulder. At that moment, she didn't even care about trying to stem any of the emotions. Openly, she allowed the tears to flow, closing her eyes to give herself a moment as Will and Henry moved to stand on opposite sides of the bed.

"Momma, when are you coming home?" Michael piped up in a quiet voice.

JJ flicked her eyes open, letting out a sad sigh as she managed a watery smile to her son. "I'm not sure buddy. I have to stay in the hospital for a while until I'm better enough to go home"

"But Momma might be movin' to a hospital closer to our house soon," Will added gently, giving Michael a reassuring smile. "So you can visit her more often and make sure the doctors are lookin' after her"

Michael cracked a little smile, nodding in agreement as he leaned into Will's side, seeking out comfort and reassurement.

"Grandma's here too," Henry said. "She brought us down"

"I gathered as much," JJ said with a teasing smile. "Couldn't imagine any air crew brave enough to take on you two by yourselves"

Will chuckled, ruffling Michael's hair as the youngster managed a little giggle.

Seeing the fear and uncertainty still written all over her teenager's face, JJ lifted a hand towards him, gesturing for him to come closer. "Come here Henry"

Henry obliged, allowing JJ to guide him down until she could give him a hug. He reciprocated the gesture carefully, not wanting to hurt her anymore.

"I know this has been scary for you," she said softly, letting him go until he could pull back enough to see her face. "It's going to be… tough. But… I think it'll be ok"

Hearing JJ's quiet proclamation, Will felt his entire body seemingly sag with relief. Maybe last night's meltdown really had been the product of all the medication coursing through her veins.

"I was really scared," Henry breathed, avoiding JJ's gaze as the hold on his emotions began to waver. "Dad just left in the middle of the night, and Grandma told us you'd been hurt. Then when Dad didn't call or come home straight away, I… I started thinking the worst"

"I know," JJ said softly, giving her son a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry we put you through that. I just… we needed to understand what was happening ourselves before we started telling you boys everything"

"Mom?"

Looking down at the little boy cuddled into her side, JJ smiled. "Yeah buddy?"

"Does it hurt?" Michael asked in a small voice.

"Does what hurt?"

Michael shrugged. "I don't know… anything?"

Will and JJ chuckled as Henry rolled his eyes in amusement at his little brother.

"Well, right now, my neck is a little bit sore. And my tummy hurts. Not too much. But it doesn't feel great," JJ explained, choosing her words carefully in an effort to help Michael understand.

"Are the doctors giving you lots of medicine?"

"They sure are," JJ said with a small smile.

"Momma, why are you moving your hands like that?"

The question was sudden, and innocent, just like all those that had come before it. But it caught JJ off guard, and she found herself struggling to find the words to answer her son. Of course he was curious, and he had every right to know and understand what was happening to his mom… but the suddenness of the question had effectively rendered her speechless.

"Michael, remember how I told you that when Momma fell, some of the bones in her neck broke?" Will chimed in, coming easily to JJ's rescue. Michael nodded, turning to look at his dad.

"Well, when those bones broke, one of them pressed against what's called your spinal cord. The spinal cord is like… a big long electrical cord that runs all the way from your brain right down to the tips of your toes. It sends messages from your brain to the rest of your body so that you can do things like walk, and run, and jump"

"Did Mom's cord get hurt?"

Will nodded sadly. "It did. And when the cord gets hurt, it can cause somethin' called paralysis, which is when you can't move parts of your body anymore. But Mom was pretty lucky, because even though her injury was bad, as she heals and gets better, she might be able to learn to walk again. Right now though, her body is still healin' and her brain is still figurin' out how to send those messages to her arms and legs again"

"Hence why right now, I can't move my hands very well," JJ finished with a gentle smile. "But it's getting better everyday"

There was a silence that followed, in which JJ found her eyes wandering back over to her oldest, who was standing forlornly at the side of the bed.

"Henry?"

The teenager let out a breath, flicking his eyes up to meet his mom's. "Everything's going to be different now… isn't it?"

JJ paused, reaching out for his hand. "Yes. It will be. But we'll be ok"

"Dad, I'm hungry"

Michael's sudden statement was enough to make the little family laugh, breaking the sombreness that was threatening to descend onto them.

"Didn't you have anythin' to eat on the plane?" Will asked with a chuckle, ruffling his youngest's hair again.

"Yeah, but all they had were pretzels!" Michael exclaimed. "I'm starving!"

"Alright. Why don't I take you boys to the cafeteria for somethin' to eat, and then Grandma can come in and keep Momma company while we're gone?" Will suggested.

"Yeah! Can I get ice-cream?"

JJ laughed as Michael leapt off the edge of the bed. "Not too much," she reminded him gently. Will came to her side, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead, before retreating from the room with the boys in tow. She wasn't alone for very long, the door clicking open just a few minutes later as her mom came into the room. She watched as Sandy's expression went from one of determination to shock and sadness, all in the space of just a few seconds.

"Please don't," JJ said softly as her mom approached the side of the bed. "I'm sick of getting sympathy from people"

"You're allowed to get sympathy. It's a big thing that's happened to you," Sandy replied, pulling the nearby chair a little bit closer and lowering herself into it. "People feel bad for you"

"I hate it," JJ mumbled. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. Can we talk about something else? Anything else"

"Of course. But I just want to say one thing," Sandy said, reaching for JJ's hand. "I know you and I haven't always seen eye to eye. And our relationship has been… rocky, at the best of times. But at the end of the day, all that is in the past now. You're my daughter… and I love you. I'm here to support you and Will, and you're allowed to lean on all of us as you recover from this, because we want to see you thrive. Whatever happens next, whatever comes down the line… I'm here for you. I hope you know that"

JJ looked down towards her hands, swallowing hard as she felt the tears welling up at her mom's words. Then, she managed a small nod.

"I know… thank you"

"If you want to talk about something else, let's talk about Michael doing a nudie run through the house every night after his shower"

JJ burst out laughing.

"You and Will have a lot to answer for with that child," Sandy chuckled. "He's nuts"

"I know," JJ laughed. "I don't know who he gets it from"

"Well, the other night, he jumped up on the couch, stark naked, and began shaking his butt in Henry's face. To which Henry responded by shoving him off the couch and telling him to 'put his chonies away'," Sandy added. "I honestly didn't even know what to say"

"I'm so sorry," JJ said, still laughing as she tipped her head towards her mom. "Boys are… they're a different challenge altogether"

"Hey, you're telling me! I raised two girls… and you and Roslyn were nothing like those boys of yours," Sandy replied.

"I sometimes wonder… if either of them had been a girl. Whether they'd still be like my crazy boys," JJ said with a soft chuckle. She fell silent for a moment, staring wistfully off into the distance, before she opened her mouth to speak once more. "You know I… I would've had a girl"

Sandy frowned, clearly confused. "What do you mean?"

"Before Michael. I was pregnant. I lost the baby, but… I had this… really strong feeling, that it was a little girl"

There was a moment of silence, before Sandy reached for JJ's hand again. "You never told me that"

JJ shook her head. "Will didn't know I was pregnant when I had the miscarriage. It took me years before I even told him. Figured what he didn't know couldn't hurt him"

"I think you would have been a wonderful mom to a little girl," Sandy said with a sad smile. "I mean… you're incredible with those boys. Even with Michael's misgivings"

JJ giggled, the sadness washing away as quickly as it had descended. "He's my little crazy child. There's never a dull day when he's around"

"That's for sure"

"How's Henry doing?"

Another pause filled the room before Sandy let out a sigh. "He's… quiet. He hasn't said very much. But I can tell he's worried about you. And he's trying not to show it, because he wants to stay strong for Michael"

"Has he been going to school?"

"No, he hasn't wanted to. But he's been doing his schoolwork online. I think Will called and spoke to his teachers to explain what's going on"

The click of the door opening interrupted them from their conversation. JJ turned her head, breaking into a tired smile when she saw Rosie peeking around the privacy curtain.

"Hey lovely, glad you're perking up!" Rosie said sweetly as she approached the bed. "I saw those beautiful boys of yours in the hallway with your man, so no surprises on why you're feeling a bit better"

JJ cracked a smile. "Bet they were causing mischief"

"The little one, most definitely," Rosie chuckled. "And you must be JJ's mom. I'm Rosie, I've been part of JJ's care team since the day she arrived"

"Sandy," Sandy said with a smile, giving Rosie a little wave. "Thank you for taking such good care of JJ"

"She's a dream, so long as we keep her fed, otherwise she gets hangry," Rosie teased. JJ blushed, grinning as the other two woman laughed. "Alright my lovely, I'm going to check your dressings and your tubes, get you freshened up before the physio team come down to see you"

"I can wait outside if you like," Sandy said, looking to JJ for confirmation.

"Yeah… but can you stay while the physiotherapists are here?" JJ asked in a quiet voice.

"Ok. I'll be right outside. Rosie can let me know when you're ready for me to come back in," Sandy replied, standing up and squeezing JJ's hand as she went.

"We'll only be about ten minutes," Rosie assured the older woman as she made her way towards the door. Just a few moments later, they were alone. After readjusting the privacy curtain, Rosie returned to JJ's bedside.

"Alright sugar, how's your stomach feeling? Still having those cramps?"

"They're not as bad as they were last night," JJ replied. "But I still don't feel great"

"Yeah you definitely look a little more under the weather than usual, but I'm sure you'll pick up in a couple of days. I'm just going to check the pads and get you cleaned up, ok?"

JJ nodded, casting her gaze out to the window as Rosie set about cleaning her up. She didn't find this process as soul destroying as it had been the first time. Rosie was so kind and gentle, with not an ounce of judgement in her behaviour.

One of the benefits, if you could call it that, of having gotten so sick from the infection was that the doctors had made the executive decision to remove her urinary catheter when it became clear she was going to need diapers to combat the bowel movements. Indwelling catheters were breeding grounds for UTIs, and her care team hadn't wanted to run the risk of any further infections hitting her system. While she couldn't truly feel anything below her waist as yet, the catheter's presence was uncomfortably noticeable, and she was glad to be free of it, even if only for a couple of days.

"You've got two amazing kids, you know that?" Rosie said gently, breaking JJ from her thoughts. "They've got a lot to process all of a sudden… but they seemed to be coping ok out there"

"They're tough kids," JJ said softly, her expression falling slightly. "They shouldn't have to be, but they are"

"With a momma as tough as you, it's no surprise," Rosie said with a chuckle. She straightened up from where she was leaning over JJ's bed, fluffing out the blankets as she went. "There you are my dear. All fresh and ready for physio. Which is good, because I'm pretty sure they're going to work you hard today"

JJ groaned. "Can't they cut me some slack? I feel like garbage"

"I know, but it's important to keep working even on the bad days, otherwise your muscles just don't get the message," Rosie said sympathetically. "You'll be ok, I fully expect to see you lapping the corridors by next week"

JJ laughed, shaking her head as Rosie chuckled and walked over to the door. She pulled it open, poking her head out and speaking quietly to Sandy, before returning moments later with the older blonde in tow. With a smile and the promise to return if either of them needed anything, Rosie quietly saw herself out of the room, care trolley in tow.

"All good?" Sandy asked gently. JJ nodded, looking sadly up at her mom.

"Could you pull the blanket up a little higher? I… I can't do it," she said feebly. Without hesitation, Sandy nodded, reaching out and pulling the woven blanket up towards JJ's chest. JJ made to grab the edge of the blanket and position it where she wanted, but all she managed was a clumsy twitch of her hand, the messages not quite going as far as they had the day before.

"One step forward, two steps back," she muttered. Sandy swallowed hard, pulling up the chair beside the bed and lowering herself into it as she reached for JJ's hand.

"Maybe for now. But they're all steps in the right direction"