Making Friends With a Killer:
Jam was busy collecting plants, flowers, berries, bark, stones, shells, and anything she thought could get her a nice supply of base ingredient to work with. She'd need several glass jars for storage. There were quite a few at the base and even some flasks, beakers, and vials, but those would run out quickly. She would check out this settlement, but doubted it had much of what she required.
Oh well. The short woman took a small pocket knife, humming as she sliced fauna for collection, imaging it being foes. Die die hehehehe. A few hours later, her bags were full and her belly aching. Trudging back to the base, she was surprised to find the masked blonde still in the file cabinets, diligently scanning documents. An info freak he is. "You've been busy?" she asked, dropping her bags on the desk she claimed.
Killer glanced up from the desk, his neck stiff. "Ah yes, there is just so much here." He had a small stack of haphazard notes in front of him.
The woman nodded, knowing how valuable good intel was. "I can give you a notepad if you'd like to better organize your findings?" She swore his eyes were sparkling behind that mask. Professor Inator handed him a small notebook from the desk drawers.
"Ah, thank-you," he said scribbling down some annotations. Now to talk to her without Kid. "I've read up on the mysterious marine base destroyer for a few years now. How long have you been at your game?" the massacre soldier asked, glancing up at her.
"I've been a recognized scientist for eight years. Kinda slip under the radar is all. Those bastards can't have eyes and ears everywhere. Destroying government property is easy when no one fears you," she bit out, crossing her arms over her chest.
Reading between the lines, the tall man nodded, "They base their assumptions on your small stature. That's why what Kid did pissed you off to high hell," he accurately guessed.
The woman tensed, her lack a height a sore subject. "I just don't look menacing. It's embarrassing dammit," the small woman griped, her hands balling into fists by her side.
"How old are you?" Killer wondered, knowing most scientists were older and being curious just how old this hothead was.
"Twenty-three," Jam answered casually.
Blonde eyebrows rose, in mild shock, "Fifteen is when you started? That's frightfully young." She's a year older than Kid and three years younger than myself. And she has several inventions under her belt already. Not bad. Well we started when we were kids too. The world's fucked.
"Yeah. Seventeen when I went solo. I've been looking for a place since. There are mysteries all over the world, so I need to travel. But fuck the government," she replied, tiredly. I'd just like to be able to research to my heart's content and not be made into a slave.
"So pirates?" Killer helpfully supplied. She nodded. "And the Captain?" he asked, getting to the crux of his concern.
"Was qualified enough to be called Captain," she said, wondering how much detail she should give out. I'm willing to join you but not tell you everything. Not for some time at least. You're a pushy motherfucker Killer.
"But what did you see exactly that impressed you?" the blonde pressed, always looking out for Kid.
A gloved finger went up to her masked chin, tapping it thoughtfully. "Hmm, he cares. That's what stopped me from killing you guys. He genuinely panicked for your well being. Most captains just replace crew members like nothing. That man was willing to bear the burden alone. I can respect that," she answered honestly, knowing that such paltry information wouldn't sate the masked man. She could see him lean forward, in anticipation of details.
Frowning slightly, she continued, "The Conquers Haki was a pleasant surprise. Means he's got grand ambitions and is the type of man who has leadership qualities. His power in particular is very interesting. There's so much I could do with it. Little known thing, most scientist can get something incredible to work but then can't duplicate it. You need an engineer for that and finding a good one is near impossible," Jam detailed, unaware of the awe in her voice.
Killer pondered her words carefully, seeing exactly how she managed to fluster Kid. "You build stuff too?" he asked, wondering if she could help his buddy with all the mechs he made.
"Yeah," she said, walking over to the corner. "Look here this is a dehydrator. I use it to quickly dry out materials to process into chemicals. But it has other purposes too. Food preservation for things like jerky and dried fruits. Spices gain potency when dried as do peppers. Drying food also stores in the nutrients, making it invaluable when on the seas," she explained, remembering all the times she was saved by shelf stable provisions. And dried fruit is so yummy.
"Can I try it?" he asked hopefully.
"Sure there's meat in the kitchen on the first floor..." She sweat-dropped, watching the masked soldier dash away before she could finish her sentence. Impatient as his Captain. More polite, though. Sighing Jam lifted her machine and bags and walked down to the kitchen, looking forward to her leftovers. She saw Killer busy rummaging through the fridge, grabbing various meats. He confidently made himself at home, pulling out cutting boards, knifes, and bowls. Is this fucker making a marinade?
Jam set down her load down with a huff. She plugged in the dehydrator, glad the base still had power for now. Should probably check out how they do it. Always good to have other options.
Letting her machine warm up, she decided to have lunch first. Removing her gloves, the professor grabbed her food and a cola from the fridge and went to the oven to heat up the leftovers. "How do you guys power your ship?" she asked, pulling her collar down, revealing purple lips. The woman took a sip of cola and sat down for a second.
Killer paused, putting the whisk down. "Ah, Kid built an engine. You'd have to talk to him on how stuff is powered exactly. We do use a hydro pump and there is an emergency stash of fuel, but Kid can use his devil fruit to power it too," the long haired man explained.
"I knew he was special," she muttered. I've never worked with magnets but I've got some ideas. Just need to see him in action.
Killer hummed thoughtfully, "How did you make this?"
A small manicured hand patted the machine lightly. "I modified an industrial oven with a fan and used some parts from other kitchen appliances and such. I like to make my own chemicals when I can. Sometimes the purity is shitty from the shops and the black market is hit or miss. Plus I'm banned," she cackled.
"How do you get yourself banned from the black market?" I didn't think that was possible.
"When I got a defective batch of capacitors I called to demand a refund. The dirty sons of bitches acted like they could do whatever they wanted and ignore little 'ole me, so I traced the call, robbed them blind, and destroyed the place on my way out. The underground doesn't appreciate when you off their brokers," she sighed, annoyed at the inconvenience.
"You're a nasty piece of work aren't you?" he chuckled, finding some camaraderie with the woman.
"I try," she cooed, taking pleasure in the fact that he was violent too.
Kid by now was sneaking back, having sensed his friend with the angry midget. Quietly, he slithered through the halls, listening outside the open door. He had with him a bunch of lunch boxes to share with his buddy and House had convinced him it might be a good idea to offer some to his newest member. He found them in the kitchen, the woman sifting through those bags she had earlier, separating plants. She was placing them on a metal tray in a single layer, instructing Killer to do the same with some meat.
"It has to be a single layer or it won't dry properly. This machine holds ten trays. So you can have five and I'll use the other five for my plants. The blonde nodded excitedly, taking the trays from her and spacing out the meat he prepared. "It will take about four to five hours depending on how you prefer it. I'll set the timer for four so you can check it," she instructed.
Deciding to announce his presence, Kid grumbles, "Jesus Kill, I wouldn't forget to bring you lunch shithead."
A blonde head swiveled around, so lost in his endeavor he didn't notice his friends approach. "Oh Kid. No No. It's for jerky! She has a jerky machine!"
"It's a dehydrator and I use it primarily for drying out materials," Jam corrected, fiddling with the knobs.
But Killer wasn't listening, humming away happily, completely in his element in the kitchen.
"Jerky?" The pale man asked, licking his lips. Jerky was a real treat. On the sea it was usually too humid for the meat to dry just right and with the risk of food poisoning being so high, jerky was a generally not something they got to enjoy.
"It also dries spices, herbs, and peppers to make them more potent. Oh the flavorful pastas I can make!" Little hearts were dancing around his mask.
Jam wiggled her eyebrows, and grinned. "He's a dork isn't he?"
"He likes to cook, he's not a dork," Kid scoffed, adamantly lying in defense of his best friend, turning around to face the professor. "Fucking hell..." Kid muttered, zeroing in on her cute pouty lips. The color was a nice deep purple. It looked good against her tanned skin. He felt his ears redden. Luckily neither of his companions were paying any attention.
Several minutes later Killer and Jam had their respective trays done and placed in the dehydrator. The kitchen oven dinged and Professor Inator skipped over to remove her food. Kid gruffly set the lunch boxes out, "The guys made lunch. You didn't have cook," he said.
Killer shook his head, "I didn't. She had those from last night I presume."
Kid eyed the little triangle shaped pastries, picking one up and sniffing. They smell delicious.
Figuring the Captain from South Blue was unfamiliar with the dish, the professor explained, "They're empanadas. The ones on the left are ham and honey with sweet potato, the middle ones spiced beef with cabbage, onion, and potatoes, and the end ones are chicken, cheese, and habanero peppers."
Kid popped the ham flavored one in his mouth, swallowing greedily. They were good. He then snatched the tray, placing it in front of himself.
"Hey!" she shouted. This bottomless pit is going to steal my lunch.
"Ya can 'ave whatever ya want from these," he said, his mouth full, pushing the lunch boxes forward.
She snatched some of her empanadas back. "I still want a few, you greedy ass."
Kid snorted, about to retort when he ingested the chicken one. He started sputtering. "Heat would love these," he muttered regaining his composure.
"Too hot for you?" she laughed, picking through the boxes, seeing what kind of foods his cooks prepared. A lot of pasta dishes, some ramen, veggie sticks, steaks, potatoes, salads, and some cookies of all things. She grabbed a pork ramen and began eating. Not bad. Very flavorful and a rather nice selection of veggies.
Amber eyes narrowed, "Was surprised is all. They're not that hot," he said, eating another.
Killer finally tore himself away from the dehydrator to pull two beers out of the base's fridge. He handed one to Kid and popped a straw in his. Selecting a plate of pasta primavera, he slurped the noodles right though his helmet, to the astonishment of the scientist.
He never removes that mask I'm guessing. "I can leave if you prefer to eat without an audience," she offered.
Killer shook his head, accidently dropping sauce on the table. "No I eat like this in front of the crew," he answered.
Her eyes widened behind her goggles. "But it's so messy."
"We're pirates. Its' fine," Kid said with an air of finality.
The small woman shook her head, and went back to munching. Guess he's nutty too. For a moment all was peaceful, the three of them lost in thought.
Finishing up her pork ramen, the woman reached for a salad. "What kind of research requests are you interested in?" she asked, wondering if her hunches were right. Please be different from all those worthless asswipes.
Reaching for some steak, Kid tilted his head, pondering what exactly he wanted to reveal for now. "Those power crystals are sick. Gonna need you to explain them in detail. It takes a lot of power to run the ship and all its things with thirty people. Was thinking of some new mech builds to hash out, never had anyone else to bounce ideas off of that weren't fucking nonsense. Quincy and Pomp are my medics. They wanted to talk to you about medical stuff. I think lasers are badass. Weapons in general. I like to collect rare ones," Kid got out, chewing loudly with his mouth open.
A loud sigh escaped her lips. "Good, no ridiculous requests," Jam said happily. I'd have hightailed it then, fancy laboratory or not.
Kid cocked a non-existent eyebrow. "Ridiculous as in?"
"Immortality, eternal youth, super soldiers, and gigantification. None of those are viable, not truly at least," she replied, munching delicately, enjoying her meal. They are much better cooks than I am. All I know is sandwiches and my favorite dishes from home. This is going to be wonderful.
"Really? I thought that Caesar Clown guy was working on that for that old hag Big Mom," Killer asked, his mask covered in bits of food and sauce.
Jam had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "Ah you lurk in the underworld. Excellent," she began polishing off the salad and going back to her empanadas. "A true permanent expansion of mass? No, the cells would become unstable, the lifespan shorted, and the mind handicapped severely, unable to follow proper orders. Frenzied rampages would be common, with the afflicted set off for absolutely random ass reasons. And you can't do it to someone already grown. Vegapunk killed a lot 'criminals' trying to get it work years ago and Caesar Clown uses children, the younger the better," she finished off with a slight shudder. "I'm screwy and I've never thought of fucking with kids."
The blonde's fork clattered to the ground and Kid stopped eating. "He takes brats?"
"Yeah I do some heinous shit, but to only to marines and bastard adults who try to kill me. He's not the only one though. Vinsmoke judge experimented on his own kids while they were still in the womb," the small woman replied, appalled.
Killer walked over to the kitchen cabinet and grabbed a replacement fork for himself. "What do you mean by stressing the word criminals?" he asked, afraid of the answer.
"How many criminals are actually criminals? They just up and declare whoever they want as one and bam, the poor bastard can be taken in to use as experiment fodder. Vegapunk tried with all the different races, but to get a substantial sample size, the government fabricated criminals from regular people. Don't know if he knew the details exactly, but even lumping in petty criminals with more violent offenders is shitty behavior," she said, serving herself some potatoes.
Silence met her words. They knew the bastards in charge were fucked in the head, but to hear it out loud was a different beast altogether.
"Ya sure?"
She snorted indignantly. "I break into bases and read secret reports all the time. The things I could tell you. And when I stow away, I hear quite a bit hiding in the air vents."
"Can't they sense you?"
"I can make myself undetectable if necessary," she said, refusing to divulge any further. That's my backup just in case.
She could help Dive with information gathering. I know the pipsqueak can fight but she's going just as useful as a support member. The medicine she makes will help Quincy and if we can work out new mechs and weapons, I'll be set. I'm not big on poisons but they could come in handy in a pinch. Her usefulness was what mellowed out his need to punish her for yesterday. Killer advised it would be in poor form, but the thought lingered. Sighing to himself, he decided he could let it go unless she pulled some shit. Those empanadas helped too, he thought greedily.
"By super soldiers you mean the Pasifistas?" the massacre soldier questioned.
"Those shitty Pasifistas are nothing more than robot slaves Vegapunk created to be the government's super soldiers. They don't eat, they don't sleep, and they follow orders no matter how atrocious," Jam spat, disgusted by the things she knew.
Before the two could get a word in edgewise, she continued, "You know how that two-bit fuckhead made them? He turned his so called friend Warlord Bartholomew Kuma bit by bit into a robot. Imagine the pain from constant surgeries. Took away his free will and everything. With friends like him who needs enemies? I don't care what he hoped to discover, it's clear he never viewed Kuma in the same light," the venom in her voice rose to a dangerous growl. I hate traitors and that was a total betrayal of trust.
Kid shivered internally picturing doing that to Killer. "You know a lot about the dealings of other scientists?" So she's connected?
She put her hand under her chin, and sighed. "There's an underground network of scientists that have meetings to discuss advancements in their respective fields. None of them really get along, big egos and shitty attitudes all around, but they meet to brag. I tune in sometimes."
"Aren't they worried about the World Government listening in?"
The woman broke off into cackling laughter. "Hahahaha. Those idiots? Fat chance they could even follow the conversation. The books wide open but those dumbasses can't read. 'Sides everyone's faces are obscured, their voices altered, and we all use a code name. The meetings themselves are on secure Den-Den Mushi lines only, and the times are given by the head scientist leaving a coded message. Only someone of superior intellect could decipher the information in order to tune in at the appropriate time," Jam elaborated, bemused by the thought of the government being capable of jack shit.
Her biggest contribution is going to be intel. She has the kind of knowledge the marines assassinate people for. I'm beginning to see why she tested our loyalty. "You don't seem to think too highly of your fellow scientists do you?" the blonde asked, reaching for some veggie sticks.
"Do you think highly of your fellow pirates?" she asked sarcastically, sipping at her cola.
Kid snickered, grabbing a steak and chewing loudly, "Da fuck would I do that? I talk shit about those scrubs."
"You seem to hold them in contempt though," said Killer, crunching loudly.
"Because they all focus on the same things. Where's the variety? The ingenuity? The innovation? It's all same old same old. And all of them cloistered up in the safety of a lair, protected by others, never really getting their hands dirty and discovering new things. It's ridiculous!" she replied, her voice rising in both volume and speed. Lazy, stupid wastes of air!
She slammed her fists on the table, startling the two larger men. "People talk about Vegapunk like's he's a god and not the Government's bitch. The man isn't blind to what his inventions are used for. It's not like those Pasifistas don't cause a shit ton of collateral damage. And that's just one invention; he's been working for the Government for decades," she sneered, her contempt of the man abundantly evident in her tone.
"Have you met him?" It's like she hates him personally. I wonder why.
Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "Never, and I don't want to. According to the rumor mill, he had the chance to work for the Revolutionaries but he turned them down because they were too broke," she scoffed. Greedy ass mother-fucker. I bet it's what it does him in one day.
"But doesn't it take a lot to fund your research?" How are we going to afford a scientist Kid?
"Not typically. I mean certain projects can. However I make most of my own chemicals and components and while scientists tend to be good at complex math, simple math, like finance, baffles the fuck outta them. Most overspend and a fair lot of them waste money on things like fancy clothes, jewelry, booze, gambling, and whores. Basically they can't budget for shit. Honestly most are straight up scamming people. That's exceedingly common," Jam revealed.
Killer's eyes widened. "Isn't that dangerous?"
"Scientists are confident they can fool anybody. How does someone of regular intelligence know how much a discovery costs? We can charge anything," she shrugged.
"And you're different?" Killer asks calmly. She basically called everyone stupid.
"Nope," she confessed, popping the p on nope. "I've tricked several shitheads over the years. However, I usually steal all the things I require and if you don't want to be tricked, don't be a french-fried fuck. I'm a reactive person. You treat me well, I'll repay the favor. Screw me over and you'll rue the day."
Snagging two cookies, she bolted up. "Lunch was great but I have to make a pit-stop at the shops before they close. Your jerky will be done in a few hours, but I should be back by then. Toodles," she waved, practically skipping away, looking forward to her shopping trip and wanting to escape the heaviness of this conversation. They're really nosy. I need a break from this.
The duo watched her flounce away, Kid snorting at her antics. "She bounces from one task to the next huh?" the blonde asked.
Kid relaxed and shoved a cookie into his mouth. "Seems so. The professor is a hyper little thing. You think this is a good idea?" the redhead asked his long-time confidant.
The blonde slurped down some noodles, loudly smacking. "Yeah, strangely enough. We just have to watch her till she becomes one of us. But shit the sheer amount of info she just casually belted out. Wonder how much she really knows," Killer pondered. "She's clearly crazy, but it's not like the whole crew isn't batshit insane. Honestly I can't believe she admitted to scamming people so nonchalantly."
The younger man snorted, thinking the same. "Told ya she's a straight trip." Kid leaned back, full from all the food they stuffed down. Little shit ate a lot for something so tiny. He agreed with his partner. Bitch is off, but shit she's valuable. Just got to get the shrimp to open up more. It was obvious she skims over stuff. She info dumps to distract what all she's hiding. "I'm going to get back to the ship and look over things. You coming?"
Blonde hair shook. "No there's more files to read. I'll grab a few and sit in here to watch this machine."
Kid snickered, "Damn I'm full, but that smells amazing. Save me some when it's done, will ya?" The shaggy haired man nodded, waving his best friend off.
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Hours later, when the machine dinged, Killer beamed. The aroma had been intoxicating for quite some time now. He pulled the trays out and inspected his prize. Perfection. The wait to try a piece was murder. Carefully lifting his mask, he hungrily devoured a piece of dried meat. It was wonderful. Chuckling to himself, he set all the pieces into the now cleaned lunch boxes from earlier. Gonna take these back for the guys to try.
Deciding to not be an ass, he carefully laid out Jam's plants on the table, replacing the empty trays. Drumming his fingers on the table he made a decision, heading back to the Victoria Punk.
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Kid escapes from Wano prison in Seastone cuffs to look for his crew before being recaptured to be with Killer. I don't know how that big fucker gave the guards the slip but he's clearly a sneaky bastard.
As someone who creates, having a like-minded individual to bounce ideas off of is essential. Talking to just yourself leads to shitty bad ideas-having a friend or a muse is wonderful. His builds definitely improve from what little we see in Sabaody and then later in Wano. The designs Kid uses in Wano look well thought out; he's built them at a prior time. Several times to have that level of proficiency. The fact his crew isn't amazed, they've seen it before.
Killer is very much a dork. Have you seen him eat? Could you picture a professional assassin eating though tiny holes in a mask making a huge mess? How does his crew not die of laughter? There exists these silly panels of omakes (From One Piece Party) where he flies with his scythes, spits out a knockout stream like in Water 7, and tries to get Kid to wear a red mask identical to his blue one. Killer's also is knowledgeable on historical facts, making him a super dork. He's still dangerous as fuck, but he's not one dimensional.
Scottish dishes use dried herbs and pungent spices, and apparently haggis is a bit spicy? I can't confirm-never had any but according to my research the man is seasoned. Killer's favorite food is Agilo E Oilo Peperoncino (a spaghetti-like dish with garlic, red pepper flakes, olive oil, and parsley) so yes they like spicy food.
Jam is very well connected. She may have burned bridges for fun but that doesn't mean she doesn't have pull when necessary. Talent is talent. She is conceited as fuck; this tiny gremlin looks up to no one-the older scientists are not her heroes. She trusts far too quickly, assured by her many abilities that she can make a getaway no matter what. She has decided by what she knows of them and the information she reads in their files, that Kid and his crew are ok to trust for base level knowledge. It may bite her in the ass. This is mid time-skip so Kid is 22, Jam 23, and Killer 26.
A Continued Rant:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
These guys are goofballs. Why eliminate them? Why Oda?! I know Oda rarely kills but, that "hope no one dies interview" has me worried. My heart can't take this. This break after that heavy chapter was evil. Are the Kid pirates ok? Law better be fine!
Thank-you to those that left comments, votes, kudos, or reviews depending on what platform you read my work on. It gives me much needed happiness.
And ha-ha to my instincts. Dive was clearly scouting out danger with UK on top of the ships skull while the rest of the crew looked after Kid. Heat took over as third in command, making the hard decision of handing over their Road Poneglyphs, with Wire and Emma standing nearby alluding to their positions as fourth and fifth in command, exactly as I pictured them- Kid's top commanders.
I am going to let Oda cook and hope it turns out well for our two supernova captains. This is hard for me as so many great pieces of literature have fumbled the ending. Bad endings are what drove me to fanfiction in the first place. That and the smut…the thirsty stuff on this site, smh. Speaking of that, there will be a small scene of that nature next chapter.
Spoilers for 1080:
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There was no new news on Kid or Law. We saw new members of Sword, Coby, Blackbeard, and Perona of all people (I really like her though), looking for Moria who has been imprisoned by Blackbeard. I'm hoping Law's imprisoned or that this fight is a flashback and he's still fighting Blackbeard; Law's fruit would only be useful in a doctors hands and I'm sure Blackbeard wants him to do the immortality surgery. This chapter was a glorification of Garp, the same way the last chapter highlighted Shanks. Not really my thing. I'm sure Oda is using it to show how much further Luffy needs to go, but I felt cheated. I would have preferred to hear on Bonney, Luffy, or Sabo if he's going to leave us hanging on Kid and Law.
