Uh-Oh Spaghetti-O:
The banging on the container he made stopped abruptly and a small bit of blackish slime oozed out. Dive was screaming at him to stop. His blinked, his eyes not dilating anymore as he regained focus. Crap I made the box too small. Quickly he separated the metal, Jam's amorphous form dropping limply to the ground with a plop.
The silence was deafening, no one moving for a moment.
Killer shook his head, "I think she still needs air Kid. I can sense her life force; she's alive, just knocked out I guess. It's hard to tell." Shit, he lost it there for a second. Guess we haven't fought anyone worthwhile in quite sometime. He was over pumped for battle. This unhinged idiot.
Pomp was already on the ground with Dive, looking over their fallen namaka. Her usually purplish body had several black splotches, most likely indicating bruising is Pomp's opinion. "Is she going to be ok?" Dive sniffled out. Poor Jam, she didn't do anything wrong.
Gingerly, the small medic touched the black bruises, noting how they felt lumpy unlike the smoothness of the rest of Jam's body. "Well she has survived a long time on her own. I'd assume she's been in worse scrapes. But we need to get her to the infirmary and maybe apply some of that healing balm she gave us. Since she prepared the stuff, it would stand to reason it works on her. I really don't know how to treat injuries like these I'm afraid," Pomp confessed.
"By her Haki signature I can tell you Jam's pissed but otherwise fine. Probably be out for a day or two," their captain muttered, sighing moodily. Kid decided to keep her sadness to himself. She's upset I didn't trust her. She looked close to tears when she bolted to her lab. Fucking dammit, this overly emotional woman, he complained, groaning in pain. Kid dropped to his knees, the slash at his stomach deeper than he thought. She was seriously trying to fuck me up! That little bitch is absolutely psycho, he thought with a devilish grin, blood dripping from his gash.
"Captain!" several of his subordinates shouted with Quincy pulling ahead and quickly examining his wound. "It's a bit deep but concentrated in one area. She was aiming to cause maximum pain."
"Evil midget was serious then," he scoffed, his enjoyment peaking. And I won.
Quincy shook her head, "No she avoided all your major organs and could have easily targeted them. Jam probably wanted you to feel pain and make you unable to follow her." So she cares enough not to leave us captain-less. Thank Roger. She could have gone for his heart or lungs.
With a bit of struggle, Kid stood and leaned on the tall woman who led him off to the infirmary.
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Quincy laid her captain down on an examination table and began cleaning the wound and sealing it up. It would heal neatly, no trace of a scar as Jam had made a clean slash. Plus the medicines she made were highly effective if used in a timely manner. She then applied some ointment to ease the soreness associated with his dislocated arm. Woman's precise with her attacks. Jeeze the power it takes to hurt the Boss like this. Jam's something else.
Kid glanced over, watching Pomp apply some medicine to Jam with Dive's help. Within a few minutes the worst of the bruising vanished, her normal purple hue returning. Dive was glaring at him from across the room, her big blue eyes narrowed in disappointment. Kid looked away, having the sense to look chastised.
The tall woman finished up with him and sighed, "Captain, you need to rest for a bit." Please don't be an insufferable asshole; just be a good boss and stay in the bed.
The brute grunted and moved over to where Jam was. "How is the runt?"
Quincy sighed. I knew he wouldn't listen, she pouted.
Pomp finished examining Jam, using his stethoscope to try and find any signs of life. "Well the balm I used got rid of those horrid splotches and if you listen closely you can hear a low hum. I think she's sleeping." The small medic looked up and frowned, "Captain, you went overboard. We know how strong you are, you didn't have to go so hard."
Even Pomp sounds disappointed. Fuck tits, the large man scowled. "She was serious and I couldn't think of anything else to do. Crushing, slashing, and stabbing don't work on her. Trapping her seemed like the smart option," the bulky man defended, crossing his arms over his massive chest.
"You're a sore loser," Dive snorted, dismissing his reasoning. You just couldn't let her have that win, could you?
Kid saw red for second, bristling at the tiny woman's accusation. "I am not! I wasn't going to let her up and abandon us! She had her bags packed and everything! Over one little punch to the head!"
"That little punch could have killed most of us," Quincy muttered. Abandon? Uh-oh. We all know how he gets with that topic. He goes feral. Maybe Jam will be reasonable and stay. Look at me, expecting reasonable behavior from a mad scientist!
"She got up just fine. Was sassing me and everything," the tall man snapped. Fuck I was thickening the walls of her cage. I only miscalculated how small I made the interior. Get off my case and stop acting like I'm the bad guy! She was the one leaving!
"No her backtalk was tame, unrefined even. She had a concussion boss," Pomp explained, rolling his eyes.
Kid glowered, knowing his subordinates were right. Sighing he plopped down on the same bed as Jam, facing away from the prying and judging eyes of his crew. "Quincy said I need to rest. Beat it."
"And what are you doing in Jam's bed?!" Dive shouted, blushing heavily. He is absolutely shameless.
"Making sure she doesn't run off. It's not like anyone else can stop her," he said, pleased with his scheme.
The three looked at their leader in disbelief. He had it bad.
House let herself in carrying the Professors lab coat and other items which she laid on a nearby table. She stuffed the gloves in her pocket though, knowing the other woman would hate to miss out on valuable bio-fuel crystals. Good thing she demonstrated how her gloves worked. Looking up the sight she saw made her blush in indignation and second-hand embarrassment. Why is the Boss in the same recovery bed as Jam?! That dirty pig! I need to go get Killer after he finishes overseeing the looting and destruction of that marine ship. He'll put a stop to this
She motioned to her other crew members, silently asking what was going on.
Dive muttered, "He said the 'A' word. I think he's afraid she'll run off."
House sighed. This was going to get messy. I doubt the Professor will be happy about what he's doing. It looks like he's cuddling her. Summoning up her courage and putting on her best disappointed mom voice, the blue haired woman chided, "Boss, it's inappropriate for you to be in bed with an unconscious woman."
The man scrunched up his face in annoyance. "Yeah because this blob of jelly is oh so sexy. I'm watching her. Now piss off," Kid groused, in no mood for a discussion. His subordinates sighed and left, knowing they'd have to get Killer to handle their leader.
As soon as he heard the door click close, Captain Kid leaned over and lightly touched the surface of Jam's 'skin'. The jelly was incredibly smooth, satin like in texture. It was slightly warm and felt nice to caress. It was calming to the beastly man. At least she's ok. The little shit-stain is tough as nails. But fuck what am I going to do when she regains consciousness? Plagued by his turbulent thoughts, the man kept caressing the knocked out scientist.
What no one knew is that Jam was in a stasis mode. The greatest advantage of this body was that it needed very little to function. Thus it healed at an accelerated rate as energy didn't need to be diverted to normal bodily functions. With the application of her bruise balm, her body was already making great strides towards a recovery.
Who the fuck is petting me?! was her first thought upon waking. She had no mouth nor heart, but she required the ability to see. Her 'eyes' weren't visible to anyone, otherwise they'd be targeted as a weak point, but she could see just fine. Glancing to the side she saw the oaf stroking her absentmindedly. She bristled in indignation, I am no pet! And why are we on the same bed?!
Last thing I remember was being caged in metal and passing out due to lack of oxygen and being squished in a too tight container. Seeing as I feel fine, someone must of healed me, using the medicines I supplied. Huh, they don't want me dead. Does the captain wish to keep me aboard that badly? He is such an idiot!
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Stroking Jam was oddly comforting, lulling Kid to sleep. He nodded off, unaware that Jam was indeed awake and just waiting to strike him down. But for now, he was lucky she was unable to move freely. Since no one is trying to kill me or restrain me, I should be smart about this and heal up as much as possible for round two.
She stared up at the oaf, watching him snore softly. This brute is blocking me in. I can't even see past him. Great. Guess he stayed close to monitor when I get up. Fucking asshole. You'll pay for that sucker punch and for trapping me in a fucking box!
She quietly stewed in silence, devising a plan of attack. He gets onto me for a hug and this hypocrite is spooning me! What is his deal?! We were just trying to eviscerate each other. Fuck and I thought I was off my rocker. At least he's quiet and warm. I think this is the first time I've ever seen him so peaceful. It's weird. The quiet part is nice. If only I could smack him across his stupid face!
I only planned to injure him in our battle and then leave. I shouldn't have been so kind. Now I'll have to step it up big time. Since I'm still immobile, guess I'll catch some Z's.
Fifty minutes went by until she heard a door knob turn and heavy boots coming ever closer. Groggily she grumbled to herself, angry at being woken up.
"Kid we have a situation. Come to the kitchen for a meeting. Pomp is going to stay and watch the Professor." Dammit you redheaded menace. You can't go nary a moment without doing something you shouldn't be doing. I doubt she'd let you anywhere near her after that fight.
Kid grumbled but followed after his first-mate, sparing one last glance at his bed-mate. I'll just see what this is about and scarf down lunch before coming back. The little blob is comfy.
While angry about being woken up abruptly, Jam was ecstatic about the removal of her jailor. Ah freedom. It will be much easier to get away now. Just have to wait till Pomp is distracted. I've recovered almost enough to slip away.
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The duo made their way to the kitchen, Kid sitting at his usual spot, Joplin and Hip rushing over to deliver lunch. Kid only stared ahead, focusing on Killer.
"House tell everyone what you told me," the massacre soldier directed.
Nervously the small, slender woman began speaking. "Dive and I spend a lot of time with the professor. She tells us what she's working on and even taught the two of us how her gloves work. Here," she said, setting down six purple crystals she had gotten after using Jam's gloves to condense the liquefied marines.
The crew was in astonishment. All it took was hanging about the little runt and she'd share all her scientific secrets? Even Kid was surprised.
"Dive was being a nosy brat and almost spilled a dangerous solution on herself, so the professor thought it be a good idea to make the crew immune to the chemicals she frequently uses. Um, when she couldn't get a hold of you Boss, she left detailed notes of her experiments posted to your workshop's door. Did you not read them Captain?" the blue-haired woman asked softly. Please don't blow a gasket.
Kid was livid, clenching his hands by his sides to prevent himself from lashing out. He didn't need another subordinate in the med bay. Yeah he fucked up, but he was working on faulty information. Had he known what she had done, this scuffle wouldn't have happened. "I'm gonna sit here and eat. By the time I'm done those reports better have magically appeared. Understand?" he growled out, his deep baritone barely a low hiss on uncontrolled rage. I can't believe this shit! A mutiny was committed against me! Those reports were meant for my eyes. What dead idiot touched them?!
Nervous glances where thrown around the room, everyone wondering who could be so colossally stupid as to steal anything meant for their captain.
Killer braced himself, mentally preparing himself for the onslaught of profanities and the tantrum that was sure to come. When all he saw was Kid aggressively stuffing his face, he paused in bewilderment. He's been much calmer lately. My little trash baby is growing up!
The crew was locked in place, afraid to do anything to set their leader off. When nothing but the clinking of plates and silverware were heard they all exhaled in relief. Those reports had better show up soon, they hoped.
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Pomp was humming quietly to himself when the sound of fluttering paper interrupted him. Looking down he spotted a stack of papers with the top one addressed to the Red Ogre.
Snickering to himself, he got up and skimmed the information, wondering what it was about. Eyes widening in alarm, he dashed out to give his Boss the reports. Had the Captain seen these, he would have known not to attack Jam. Ooh someone is in deep shit!
"Um Boss, these were slipped under the door to the infirmary," the man huffed, having ran directly to his captain.
Kid grunted, slurping down his pork ramen. He reached out, snatching the reports from his medic. In silence he read.
Pomp had placed the page discussing her chemicals on top. She had done a little doodle of a coffee cup as she wrote how Dive was a nosy danger-prone shithead who inspired her to share the antidote she used on herself to make her liquefaction serum inert against her own person, as well as her other common battle chemicals, like her knock-out gas.
The bitch slipped this shit in everyone's coffee! Jam watched them more than he anticipated. She knew all but Hop and Skillet drank coffee every morning, so she put her concoction in the coffee pot and slipped some in Hop's tea and the pastry chef's milk. She knows our drinking preferences. Hop thought coffee had too much caffeine and preferred tea for its health and beauty benefits while Skillet couldn't drink anything bitter even if you added a boatload of sugar. He's such a baby. The Professor's reasoning for the slyness: Quincy had let her know how badly some of the crew reacted to being told to take any kind of medicine. Who the fuck took these reports?! And why?!
The next set of notes poked fun at Killer, with a small drawing comparing him to a pasta loving cat, but offered the construction of a pasta maker machine. She had options for noodle length, width, and thickness. Then for particular shapes she had die casts to mold the dough. It even made zoodles. Killer would love this thing. Why didn't I ever think of this?
He chuckled at her doodles, till he saw the one of a tulip-haired pig stuffing his face. That cunt. I'm not a pig! This report was about the freezer with details of the components they needed to procure when they docked. There were lots of questions and several ideas for how to improve on the original basic construct. It was beautiful. She even wrote about blanching vegetables and what could be flash frozen. She found a way for him to always have cabbage and whatever else his heart desired. God dammit! I look like a royal dick-head.
The next report was a list of material she would be looking for when they docked. The list was absolutely massive, containing things from every kind of category imaginable. There were little stars next to things she was sure she could steal, tulips next to things she could harvest, and frowny faces on the things she may have to pay for. He snorted and decided he'd hand it off to Bubblegum later.
The last page was a myriad of questions about his powers. They were detailed and she left lines for his responses. This bitch gave him homework. True he never attended school formally, but Killer had, teaching Kid how to read, write, and do basic computation. And the homework Killer gave him still made him sullen to this day. God damn mom.
Skimming down to the bottom of the questionnaire, he saw a small sentence highlighted: "You can either answer these in person and I fill in the blanks or if you're being weird and shy, you do it and we pass it back and forth till I'm satisfied."
The proud redhead gnashed his teeth, I ain't shy you mouthy gremlin. I was busy! he cursed, handing the notes to his partner and finished his meal in stony silence. I'll show you satisfaction…
Pomp, relieved of his duty, grabbed a quick plate of food, before headed back to his post. Killer hissed at the first page describing her chemical antidotes, shaking in pure rage. "She snuck stuff in our coffee!"
"Not exactly. She was obliviously trying to let the boss know and she thought by his silence he was good with her plans. Besides it was medicine, not poison," corrected House.
Blonde hair shook from side to side. "But it could have been anything. How did she slip past me in MY kitchen?! I should have noticed," Killer berated himself. The crew was becoming nervous. An agitated Kid was one thing; an agitated Killer was a whole different brand of chaos.
Grunting he continued reading, his pace much quicker than his captains as he skipped all the technical details. The doddle she made had him vexed, until her proposal stopped him in his tracks. I'm not Garfield the damn cat! "She designed me a pasta maker?" he questioned, his voice full of awe. It can make anything I want. It's the nicest thing I've ever seen.
Dive smiled, despite the uncomfortable atmosphere, "I told her how much it would mean to us and she got right on it."
Killer was at a loss for words. Pasta was life. Damn it. How could he be mad now?
"Keep reading," Kid grunted with mouth full of fried chicken and mash potatoes.
When the blonde saw the freezer and the ideas for food storage, he almost squealed aloud. "This freezer is the stuff dreams are made of." Being from a poor, lawless island, food insecurity was a big thing to several members of their crew. They all knew what it meant to go hungry. This freezer was a huge deal.
"Your such a food whore," the redhead snickered.
"And you aren't?"
"Suck my ass."
"Before or after you pull your head outta it?" the blonde asked, earning a bark of laughter from his best friend. The other guys snorted, glad the tense atmosphere was broken at least for a minute.
Killer read on, skimming the last two reports, passing them over to Heat and Wire afterwards. Before either could look at the notes, Pomp ran in. "She's gone!" Pandemonium broke out over the short man's exclamation.
Kid was astonished. She should have been out for at least a full day. What in the hell is going on? Haki was nice but it only gave him a board idea of where she was. He still sensed her faintly meaning she was somewhere on his ship. But where?
Bubblegum sprinted away, deciding to check on something, his stomach suffering from a sinking discomfort. Dashing back, he hollered, "She found the Den-Den Mushi. It's been moved!" I knew it was a bad idea from the start. That mad woman is going to be pissed.
So that settled it. She scuttled off to her lab. Of course she went there. Where else would the little runt go?
"Kid there's an angry Mad Scientist who just discovered we were spying on her, in an impervious monster jelly form on the loose in a lab stocked to the brim with dangerous chemicals and devices," Killer stated in a barely contained voice. This is bad. How the hell is she up and moving after that? We should have had time to formulate a plan.
God-dammit!
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It's kind of short for me, but it was either this or nothing. Work is evil and I've been swamped. Now Jam can't draw to save her life, so the doodles are goofy. But I had fun making them. For those reading on I post pictures on A03 and Wattpad.
Kid seems to calm down a lot of the two year skip. From the man who mercilessly crucified the first pirate crew he came across in the New World to someone willing to enter into an alliance and actually uphold his end of the deal. Plus he lets Luffy have Kaido, without any kind of fight, even though he said he'd be the one to take Kaido's head. He works together with Law, sharing secrets of his power (that he has awakened it and what his awakening form does). That takes a maturity level I don't think he possessed before the timeskip.
Personally I believe he attacked that crew because they insulted him (they implied the new World would eat the Kid Pirates alive) and because he wanted to test his strength out. Also he was kinda miffed about the attention both Blackbeard and Luffy were getting after MarineFord so I think he caused a scene to placate his ego. What a dick.
Spoilers:
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Chapter 1087:
No sign of either of my three supernova captains. Sigh. The chapter focuses on Garp and his battle with some of the Blackbeard pirates. It wasn't bad, just not the crescendo the leakers were making it out to be. Garp's just not high up on my favorite list. And his strength proves he could have saved Ace. I'll never forgive him. The fight between him and his old student is good though. Just kind of a letdown after such a long hiatus. That say Oda did a Garp chapter because the official release date falls on Marine Day in Japan but ew like I give a shit. Screw the government, all governments, fictional ones included!
