Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word:

Jam hightailed it through the ventilation system, quickly arriving in the kitchen, before vaulting to the deck. She slid down the side of the ship, drawing water into her body and drastically expanding her form. Several crewmembers flew out of the gallery's door, excitedly calling out her name. Ignoring the commotion, Jam wrapped tendrils of herself around the ship. Let's see him cage me now, with half my body underwater. He would have to trap the ship's occupants with no air, considering her size. She was huge, her Napoleon complex shining through. Who's tiny now motherfucker! The crew gasped at her, wondering how big their scientist could get and realizing that the situation had not improved in the slightest.

Kid made it to deck just in time to see what looked like a gelatinous Kraken wrapped around his ship. Several thick bright purple appendages were coiled around the main deck and a bulbous head was situated on top of the crow's nest. As soon as the mad woman spotted the Punk's insufferable captain, she squeezed, the ship making a creaking and groaning noise in response.

Kid's golden orbs widened in shock and horror. "What in the hell are you doing woman?! I thought we were good! Get down here now!" This is how she planned to survive in the sea! That shrimp can turn into a fucking sea monster!

Miffed at his tone and his attempt at giving her an order, she grabbed the main mast and tugged lightly.

"Oh no hold on. We can talk," he pleaded nervously. My SHIP! No no not Vicky! You crazy woman. Calm your tits!

To her pleasure, Jam smiled at the usually brash man's demure attitude. I'm getting a proper apology.

Grey eyes filled with mirth. "Told you she don't take no shit. She's holding the Punk hostage. Ballsy ass bitch," Clash laughed aloud.

Joplin and Hip bristled and frowned at their taller friend, karate chopping her on the head. "Why is this funny to you?! We could all die!"

"I'm a good swimmer," the tall woman deadpanned, their hits not affecting her.

House let out a long exhale, rubbing at her temples. I calmed Jam down for that bullheaded ass to throw all my hard work down the drain. I could scream!

Heat placed a calming hand on the woman's shoulder, noticing her mood. "It will be fine. If Jam was truly mad, she'd have already left. I think her feelings are hurt. Killer will stop Master Kid from doing anything too stupid." House smiled, hoping her lanky friend was right.

The redhead raised his hands in surrender. "Look I'm sorry we spied on you. But hell you're funny as fuck to watch. And we only placed the camera in the lab. It's not like we watched your bedroom or anything," he said with a toothy grin, his big mouth the primary source of his bad luck.

Heat bowed his head in embarrassment, as House slapped her palm against her own. I can already feel the migraine.

Jam hadn't even thought of that. Mortified, Kid received a slap in return, a giant jellied arm smacking him down to the deck.

He knew better than to dodge and risk his vessel's safety. "It was all Killer's idea, I swear!"

Killer clenched his fists, in disbelief at Kid's childish antics. It was OUR idea and you were all for it!

Professor Inator was seething. This dirty douchebag! First he notices I'm naked in this form because of course the perverted dicktard notices and now he casually talks about spying on me in my bedroom! He's so damn gross! I should gouge his piss-colored eyeballs out!

Jam hastily scribbled on her sheet of paper. The note was laid in front of the brute, "And who's the captain of the ship? Any bad decisions have to be run by you first. Don't skirt your responsibilities," he read aloud.

The redhead sighed, pulling himself up into a sitting position. "Alright fine. You got me. So what do you want?" If she really wanted to go, she'd had left before I go to the deck. She wants something...

Ohh let's play. I was going to be mature due to House's urging, but the only thing your stupid ass understands is fighting fire with fire. We'll see how you handle being screwed with. She took the paper and wrote, "The thief's head."

Sharp exhales were heard around the ship.

A large metal hand waved itself angrily in her face. "No you said it, I'm the Captain so their crimes fall on my shoulders. You want a head, take mine," he said jerking his thumb to point at his own person. As if you could, monster form or not.

Jam figured he'd choose this route. She wrote more on her paper, "You're valuable and I believe in taking my rage out on the object of my discontent. I won't kill them; just maim them a bit."

"I'm the one who didn't trust you. I'm the one who conked you over your skull. Not whichever dumbass committed the theft! You need a punching bag, I'm right here," Kid shouted, confident in his durability.

"I don't care. I want what I want," she demanded, delicately clenching her body, the ship softly moaning. Half an apology. At least he's admitted to his crimes.

"You can't have any of them! And I don't even know who's responsible!"

He's kinda cute when he's looking out for everyone. Come on, you moron. Think. What do I really want?

Kid huffed, considering all his options, but not liking the conclusions he came to. "Fine, you can go. I won't stop you. Just leave the ship and my crew intact," the redhead relented, seeing no way out of this. I won't trade one subordinate for another.

"Boss!" several voices shouted.

Jam snorted to herself. He's such a fool. I wouldn't still be here if I wanted to leave. I could have swam away bolts for brains.

The Punk's Captain shook his head. "We're too far out to survive making it back to land. I can't hold her hostage without it killing her and potentially us, so what's the point? And somehow tiny's too big right now for me to cage anyway. What am I supposed to do?"

"Apologize. Properly. Beg even. She's been here two weeks and has since fixed tons of issues we have," Killer stated in his annoyingly calm voice, making Kid glower. How have you not figured out what she wants?

"I already did that. It was gross and didn't do shit!" he pouted, crossing his arms.

Dive rolled her eyes. "Boss that was a sad excuse of an apology and you know it!"

Bubblegum put his hands up in a placating manner and approached his captain. "Look I may not know the Professor as well as Dive or House, but I pop down there and deliver stuff to get out of spying duty. She wants you to say sorry and mean it Boss."

Kid smashed his lips together, contemplating his options. He hated the idea of begging, but if he could save his ship and crew while also keeping his scientist...Roger's saggy balls! "If I apologize for myself and for the thief will you stop trying to sink us?"

The blob nodded. Aw I was gonna fuck with him longer. Well I can always tease him later. Damn masked asshole helping him. No shit I want an apology numbnuts.

"Will you stay?" the spiky haired man murmured.

"If you're sincere," she wrote.

"Kid weigh out the benefits. She's useful in a way we could never replicate. Is your pride worth it?" his oldest friend chided.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his head down and his eyes focused on anywhere but her. The laces on his boots were exceedingly interesting at the moment.

Pfft, he's acting like this is killing him. What a ham. As if that quiet little sorry is acceptable. A gelatinous limb oozed towards him and pushed down lightly on his shoulder. She now knew how to get at him best. Captain Kid was a proud man. Hurting his pride was better than physically wounding him as those types of injuries he could handle just fine. Fuck he bragged about old battle scars.

"I ain't going down on my knees!" he sputtered, his cheeks reddening. An appendage slipped down and tripped him, forcing the brute to kneel. Another one slid under the tall man's chin, making him look up. "Why are you such a fucking bitch?" Kid hissed, his enraged eyes popping out of his skull. There's got to be way to hurt her in this form besides trapping her.

The 'Kraken' shook softly, resembling giggling jello.

"Is she laughing?" Mosh whispered aghast.

"Oh my god, she's screwing with him," stammered Boogie.

"That cunt," Hop hissed in disbelief. "Hey bo-" A hand slapped itself over her mouth, muffling her shouts.

"No stop. This is the only way she forgives him. Let her have her fun so this shit is over," Wire instructed softly. Jam likes pushing the Boss's buttons. Worse, she's good at it.

Oh this is gold. Look at this angry tulip; he's flushed so red in the face, his body looks even paler!

"I'm sorry dammit," he shouted, his cheeks turning rosy. This little cocksucker! She just has to humiliate me!

The paper danced airily in his face "For?" he screeched, annoyed with her demands. "Fuck your 'for!' I said sorry already and that's all you're getting you greedy cunt!"

That's probably the best I'm going to get with an audience. I'll take a raincheck I suppose. Jam released the water she pulled in, shrinking to her normal size. The blob was bouncing up and down, the bubbling noise growing ever louder.

Kid eyes twitched, his lips pressing into a thin line. "Are you laughing at me?!"

The blob nodded enthusiastically.

Kid's face spasmed in fury. Electricity cackled at his long fingertips. Heat and Wire slapped an arm over each shoulder while Killer stood in front of him. It only made Jam bounce more erratically. Ooh you wanna fight again big boy? Let's dance.

"Don't. It's unrealistic to expect her to forgive you again. You bashed her skull in and all she wanted was to embarrass you. Take it like a man and let it go. You don't want the Professor dead and there's a good chance she's thought of a way to counter the containment box. If you lose, the rest of us don't stand a chance," ordered the ship's first-mate. She has the ship; there's no way we all make it out alive so far from shore. Still the little witch would probably let us go seeing as Kid's the only one she's messed with...not that I'd tell him that.

If the Professor had a mouth it would be taken over by the largest shit-eating grin in all the four blues. Aw dammit. I was gonna toss him into the sea before fishing him out. For funsies.

Kid hissed in protest, the same bloodthirsty rage he felt towards her back on that shithole island surfacing. "She made a mockery outta me!" he screamed, a typhoon of obscenities soon following.

Jam bubbled louder. He's such a theatrical twat.

"And you didn't immediately apologize after you hit her and instead got that rematch you craved so bad. This is your reward for playing stupid games."

"You're supposed to be on my side," the younger of the two practically whined.

Killer sighed. "I am Kid. This is the best option for you. For us. You're the Captain, shoulder the burden and quit being a little prick. No one but the crew knows what she did and no one here is going to tease you. Calm down."

The leader of the fearsome pirate crew took in a long deep breath, closing his eyes and attempting to focus on all of Jam's useful talents.

The Professor wanted nothing more than to continue, but it looked like everyone else had enough. Dive is antsy and House seems tired... I guess this is it. Foo.

Killer smiled affectionately behind his mask. He's been trying so hard lately. "I don't have all the stuff to make cabbage rolls as it's been twelve days out at sea, but I can make you fried fish and shrimp fried rice for dinner. And after she builds that freezer, you can have whatever you want whenever you like."

Amber eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You just want that damn pasta maker."

Despite the situation, little hearts danced over the muscled blonde's head. "Yes I do," he said with no hesitation. "Along with all those pharmaceuticals she makes and the energy crystals and all the other shit she probably knows how to make. Like you said, Jam's valuable. A damn treasure in her own right. We're pirates Kid; we don't miss out on treasure."

"I want pork cutlet too!" Kid grumbled, reluctantly agreeing with Killer. Yeah she's valuable but she's a cunt!

"Fine, fine," the blonde relented, patting his partner on the back and ushering him away.

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Kid stoops down, bending at his knees to yell at Luffy several times in Wano. That pose is automatic-he frequently argues with someone drastically shorter than himself. It has to be a crewmember. And it's not one of his main guys (Killer, Wire, and Heat) as they are too tall.

Tulip boy matures a lot over the course of the two year time skip. He doesn't kill Luffy in the jail when he has the chance (brags how nice he's being-so ridiculous) and doesn't sink those samurai's when everyone is gathering for the ambush, even though he's says he wanted to. When Caribou is talking shit about his losing his arm, Kid throws a pickaxe at him to scare him even though he could have impaled him for such disrespect. He also does not kill Apoo after everything. I think pre-time skip he would have. Kid's mellowed a bit.

Jam is the oldest of eight. Older siblings are dicks; they may act as a third parent and take care of things but they love teasing people and generally being an asshole for no reason. Younger siblings are brats and middle children are either just trying to survive or completely don't give a fuck. None of her brothers are here and Kid makes it so easy for her to mock him.

Sometime Friday or Saturday I'm updating the Character Sheet with ages and other little tidbits. I have the next chapter already written other than editing it. I will post either late Sunday or early Monday depending on work. Please vote, kudos, comment, review, or interact in some way so I know this is worth continuing. I despise silence and feedback is greatly appreciated.

Spoilers for 1089:

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We get an update on Luffy and Co! Yay. It's been so long. But their fights from over ten chapters ago were off-screened-I hope this isn't a sign of what's to come. It feels rushed and nothing ruins a manga worse than rushing towards the end. Maybe Oda wants to hide how they defeated the Seraphim; perhaps he has plans for them later. He recently revealed in an interview how he wanted to have fun with the ending...this worries me because at heart the man is a troll. Luffy is already goofy; toon-force makes it worse and I can't handle anymore. Oda specially does things to make the anime not serious and sometimes it's a bit much.

Ooh York is still trying to bargain with a corrupt government. She's outta there. I hope the escaped scientists make it out ok—yeah see any knowledge they don't control or don't want out and bam you're expendable. Stupid Saturn ordering their death on the slim chance they know anything about the Void Century.