A young boy with blonde hair stared at the computer display in silent wonderment, it was as if someone reached into his ears and started turning his brain around to solve it like a puzzle cube.

He adjusted his glasses and looked up at Lincoln on the bed from the computer chair, "So, you're telling me that videogames are a waste of time because all it's all just watching the numbers go up?"

A similarly aged young girl sat to his left on the seat and ran her hands through her long black hair, "Tio Lincoln, that's gotta be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I mean- then what about sports? That's also just watching letters go up! Or like…"

"The stock market," Lily nodded as she dug through Lincoln's old comic book collection to find something with lots of blood in it, "or uh, blood sugar?" she turned to the blonde haired girl in a pony tail, "or is blood sugar supposed to go down?"

The blonde hair girl in a pony tail slowly stood up as she handed off a stack of comics to a black haired girl with shorter hair than the other black haired girl on the chair, the black haired girl with short hair paused digging through her Tia Luna's luggage to contemplate the stack of comics.

The blonde haired girl simply shrugged, "It's sugar, right? You probably want more of it- so you're all pepped up and hyper."

The black haired girl with short hair turned towards the boy with the glasses sitting on the chair, "I'm sorry, but I don't think that is exactly what Uncle Linc' is trying to say. He's just kinda… over videogames and wants to get another girlfriend."

The blonde haired girl in a pony tail gasped and nodded, the black haired girl with long hair clicked her tongue, the blonde boy in glasses sighed and rolled his eyes, and the black haired girl with the short fringe cut hairstyle looked at Lily- waiting for her to show a nonverbal indication that she was following the conversation.

"Sorry-" Lily said as she looked up from a copy of Weighted Metal magazine and looked up at the black haired girl with the short hair, "I lost track of the conversation."

Lincoln Loud groaned into a pillow as he languished on top of the tortilla chip crumbs Luna and Sam left in his bed, "My head is spinning. Why can't you say their names?"

"You good, Tio? You've been acting about three times more crazy than usual." Said Rosalynn from the chair.

Rosalynn was the third eldest in the room. She had long black hair and was blessed with her mother's volume- to her dismay as she has to do a lot of work in order to keep it tamed. She wore a old raggedy once-purple hoodie and a pair of barely-scuffed blue skate shoes peeked out of her baggy cargo pants. She looked up to her Tia Ronnie and is trying her hardest to learn how to skateboard, which worries her parents that one day she might get hurt. It's not that they are afraid Rosalynn can't take it, they just don't want to see their baby boo boo bear get injured. And also because medical bills are expensive.

"I think it's about normal for Uncle Lincoln to be acting a bit stir-crazy at this point in time," said Carolynn from the foot of the bed, "Auntie Lola told me he was up all night talking to a girl he had a crush on back in middle school."

Carolynn was the fourth eldest of the room, younger than Rosalynn by a handful of seconds. She had shoulder-length hair that she kept in a fringed bob and visits the same hairstylist as her mother. She wore a tan mac coat that was open to reveal a black button-down blouse tucked into a monochrome houndstooth skirt, black tights and combat boots. Carolynn loves all of her aunts equally, but with so many of them she can only choose a handful of them to gravitate towards at once. Right now she is in a Aunt Lucy and Auntie Lola kick to everyone's dismay.

"Well, I don't think it's lack of sleep," Robin said as he turned his attention back to the Angst Creek Top 10 Funny Moments video he was playing on viewtube, "Uncle Lincoln stays up all the time to play videogames inside, your mom says it's why his hair is so white."

Robin is the six year old son of Carol Pingrey, and as such has the same hair color as his her. He also wears glasses, but can see just fine without them. He mostly just needs them for reading the whiteboard at school and for driving, luckily he is six and does not drive a car yet. He is wearing a white long sleeved polo, dark blue jeans, and fancy tan shoes- which is not his usual attire, he dresses up whenever his "Uncle" Lincoln is around. The young boy looks up to Lincoln and thinks of him as an elder brother, why he doesn't call Lincoln "big bro" instead of the misleading "Uncle" moniker is a mystery to everyone involved.

"Uncle Lincoln's hair isn't white because he doesn't get enough sleep," Lorraine said as she sat down on the floor to read a paperback Hammy the Hamster omnibus, "It's because his grandpa has white hair and it skips a generation, like how we are twins and also Pap-Pap is a twin."

Lorraine was the youngest in the room, just a couple seconds younger than her twin brother Robin. She coincidentally had the same color of hair as Robin, yet did not wear glasses. She needs them, just as much as Robin does, but thinks they make her look like a nerd. Luckily, Lorraine does not need to drive a car yet so she can wait a couple of years. The two of them sit away from each other in class, Robin in the back and Lorraine in the front. She likes her twin brother enough, but the two of them appreciate the alone time. Lorraine had her hair tied up in a deliberately messy ponytail with a dark purple scrunchie. She was wearing a white t-shirt and her only pair of jeans that didn't have holes in them that were high waisted with a bellbottom flair, she also wore a pair of tan riding boots. This was her idea of "dressing up" to see family friends.

"Wha- huh?" Lily looked up to see her four, slightly younger friends looking at her expectantly, "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. There was a lot of exposition in this first page…"

Lily was wearing a baggy grey hoodie over a white polo, she also had on a pair of lavender Chino shorts. She didn't have any shoes on because she threw them into the tree in the front yard to try and get a kickball loose from the branches after Carolynn went a little bananas during Hula-Ball.

Lincoln spoke to the ceiling, "What is Hula-Ball?"

The four kids blinked and turned towards Lincoln.

"Er…" Robin was the first to speak up, "It's a game I made, sort of like a modified 4-Square combined with dodgeball. You can't leave your hula hoop, and you can't move your lower body when you have the ball, but if you can hula hoop to somewhere else without the ball you can move. If someone hits you or lands their ball in your hula hoop then you are out, so you kind of want to be far away from everyone else but still close enough to snag the ball when someone misses."

"It's literally the dumbest thing on the planet," Carolynn muttered as she put on her Aunt Luna's eyeliner that she got from her luggage, "why can't we just hang-out and watch viewtube videos or something… why does everything have to be some kind of… thing?"

Rosalynn squinted her eyes in confusion and pointed at the computer monitor, "That's literally what we are doing right now! If you didn't want to play you didn't have to! Lorraine even offered to finish up that coloring book with you!"

Lorraine cleared her throat and looked at the floor, "If Carolynn doesn't wanna hang out with me, that's cool… I mean, I'm not too good with coloring anyway."

Carolynn quickly got up and gave Lorraine a hug, "If you say something like that I'll kill you. I promise," she broke the hug to stare at Lorraine deep into the eyes, "you know that you're my favorite-"

"Oh, yeah!" Lily shot up and closed the magazine that she had no reason reading at her age and turned towards the group, "No, Linc' isn't crazy because of the lack of sleep. He's crazy because he is talking to girls again! Like what Carolynn says. He's not just talking to his old crush, but writing letters to Lucy's friend: Haiku!"

Lincoln covered his already closed eyes with a pillow, but to his dismay the insides of his eyelids were not dark enough, "I wasn't talking talking to Christina. We just reconnected, we used to be… acquaintances back in grade school but I made everything weird by… uh… you can ask Aunt Luan actually, that would be a fun moment between you all and her."

Rosalynn threw her hands up in the air and pouted, "Tia Luan isn't here! C'mon, tell us how you made things weird!"

"I think we should respect Lincoln's privacy," Lily sighed, "even though I really don't want to."

Lincoln let out a chuckle that sounded more like a croak, "Fine. I taped a photo of her to a statue and practiced kissing it because I was 11."

The room was silent for a bit.

Lorraine shifted uncomfortably while Carolynn maintained eye-contact.

"Wait…" Carolynn slowly tilted her head and faced it towards Lincoln, "That's weird? That seems normal to me… sometimes I hold my own hand and pretend like it's… someone whenever I have to do something scary."

"Okay," Robin sighed as he skipped the ad playing before the next video on the playlist he curated ahead of time, "anything you think is normal, Carolynn, is actually incredibly weird. You are just crazy- but that's cool. We like that about you."

"So…" Carolynn whipped her head towards Robin, "it's cool if I steal Uncle Lincoln's idea?"

Rosalynn sighed and got off of the computer chair to help Lorraine out of Carolynn's grasp, "Absolutely not. Film isn't cheap. If you're gonna kiss, do it for real, not pretend. That's for babies."

"You guys are grade-schoolers," Lincoln groaned, "I didn't have my first kiss until I was twice your age…"

Lorraine was overwhelmed and laid down on the floor.

Carolynn gave Lorraine a quick pet on the head and walked towards Lincoln at the side of the bed.

She looked down at the young man and wondered, "Was it worth it, waiting that long for your first kiss? Was it with someone special? Did you agonize for hours before doing it? How did you gather the courage to do it? How-"

Lincoln laughed, "Nah, it was with Ronnie Anne. I just decided to kiss her after I heard she liked me, she ended up giving me a black eye- totally worth it to see that look on her face, though. I used to think she was cute back then, especially when she was flustered. The next kiss was better, and the one after that was okay, and then the next one was- whew, I'm glad I practiced with that statue, I feel like I was the one pulling the weight in that relationship… Nowadays, I try not to think about kissing her- especially now that our families are so close. She really does feel like my sister, so I guess I kinda regret it all?"

"I should smother you with that pillow for making me listen to that…" grimaced Lily as she uncovered her ears, "that was straight up poo-poo to my ears."

"Well," Robin scratched the back of his head, his voice unsure, "if you still like her why don't you go out with her again?"

"So she can break up with me for a third time?" The tired young man tried to laugh, but instead let out a wheeze, "I mean- sure, I guess that would be funny. But I'm not going to go out with someone just for a joke, and the idea of kissing her just feels kinda gross. I don't even think Luan would do something like that. I think I really want to get to know Haiku. I like the way she thinks, and sees the world and stuff."

Rosalynn crossed her arms and shook her head, "Get to know- pfft. More like smooch. Tia Ronalda told me to stay away from boys like you."

"Yes," Lorraine said from the floor, "You should stay away from boys who changed your diapers when you were a baby-"

Rosalynn threw her hands up, "Quit undermining my epic burns! Why you gotta be like that!?"

"Sorry, I promise not to do it again today," Lorraine glumly stated as she rolled to her side to see a rather large safe underneath Lincoln's bed, "Uncle Lincoln? Is that safe under your bed where you keep your passport and other important documents?"

Lincoln caught a second wind and slowly got up, "Nope! I keep my passport in my sock drawer. That's where I keep my super expensive comics. I can open it up for you guys, but you have to promise to look away when I put in the combination. I'll know if you lie to me."

"We don't careabout the expensive comics, Uncle Lincoln," Carolynn stated as she walked over to the foot of the bed, "we want to hear about your heart-pumping romance with Aunt Ronnie Anne. I want to know how to make my dreams reality."

"Quit speaking for us, Carolynn… we think seeing the comics would be neat," Robin lied, he would much rather show off the selection of cool viewtube videos to his Uncle and friends, some of them have cuss words in them, "if he doesn't want to talk about how he kissed Ronnie Anne even though it's super weird that's totally fine."

Lily rose her hand and lied, "I would also like to see the rare comic books, and I pinky swear not to look at the combination."

Rosalynn stomped over to Carolynn and snapped her fingers in her ears, "Tio Lincoln does not want to talk about that. And Tia Ronalda probably wouldn't appreciate us asking about it either," she admitted, but deep down inside she would much rather hear about this new side of her Tia that she didn't know about before, "Let's just look at the stupid comics even though we all know they should stay locked up with how mucho-crazy things are in this house."

"The Spanish word for crazy," Lorraine said as she flipped to her other side on the floor, "Is loco."

Lincoln had no way of knowing this, but Lorraine also would rather hear about the kiss than see the comic book.

Lincoln pulled out a earbud to have a tantrum at it like a crazy person, "Just say you want to hear about the kiss!"

Robin cleared his throat as he paused the video titled Child Actress FREAKS OUT On The Set of Dakota Rhoda, "Are you on the phone with someone, Uncle Lincoln? We can give you some privacy if you'd like…"

Lincoln cringed as the 5 children blushed and stared at the floor, mad at themselves for upsetting their favorite and only pseudo-adult family member/close family friend that is the age of 18 and has white hair.

Lincoln let out a ragged sigh and softened his voice, "Sorry, I wasn't on the phone," he tossed a pair of headphones to Robin who failed to catch it, causing them to hit Lorraine on the cheek, "these are special earbuds Lisa made to help out with blind people. They narrate things. I like them because they are really handy and can be nice… sometimes."

The blonde haired girl blinked at the headphones and inserted them into her exposed ear, "Uh. Um. Hi?"

Carolynn, Rosalynn, and Robin crowded around the girl on the floor as Lily went back to reading the magazine.

"Oh yeah, those things…" Lily sighed as she turned the page and giggled at all the blood and guts in the page, "another one of Lisa's one-shot inventions. That's the upgraded version, she gave the original pair to Darcy's grandpa after his eyesight got really bad."

Lily shook her head, "Shoulda just gave him cyborg eyes like I said."

"Oh, golly!" Lorraine shot up, "these are crazy!"

Robin reached for Lorraine's ear and squealed, "Gimmiegimmiegimmie-"

Carolynn slapped the boys hand away and slowly pet Lorraine's hair, "Let Lorraine have her turn first."

Lorraine was a bit embarrassed by how affectionate Carolynn is towards her, even though she should know by now that Carolynn only really does it out of friendship. Carolynn is just very odd and has a very strong attachment to Lorraine, probably because she is so patient with her.

"Wait…" Lorraine tugged at her ponytail and looked at the shrugging Lincoln, "is that true?"

Of course, there is a chance that Carolynn's feelings may turn more serious as time passes by.

"Oh…" Lorraine nodded, "Okay. That makes sense."

Lorraine decided to place the earbud into Carolynn's ear after nodding at her.

Carolynn blinked, she then gasped, she then opened her mouth to say, "Whoa. This is mega spooky. But not in a Aunt Lucy kind of way."

She meant in a Aunt Lisa kind of way.

Carolynn knew of her Aunt Lisa's many inventions and often wondered how someone only slightly more than twice her age could do such magnificent and terrifying things. She had no clue that she also was capable of things of that magnitude, perhaps even greater. All she had to do was trust herself and her friends- Aunt Lisa could not have made these headphones by herself, she too relied on the support of her loved ones and made her inventions and discoveries to support them as well.

"Why does she get a heartfelt monolog and not Lorraine?" whined the young man on the bed to no one in particular, not understanding that the words they were hearing now they were hearing for a reason.

Carolynn whispered to herself as the children looked at her out-of-character blushing cheeks, "I do trust them. But what about the others?"

Lincoln furrowed his brow as the headphones remained silent.

After a moment of stillness Carolynn nodded, satisfied with the silent answer. She handed the headphones to Robin who quickly shoved then into his ear, she mostly gave them to the young boy with the intent to upset her twin sister.

"I still appreciate the gesture," Robin said as he nodded to Carolynn, "how exactly do these things work, Uncle Lincoln?"

The teen shrugged, "They narrate things. Sometimes they are mean to me, sometimes they are nice. Sometimes they help me out with things- like helping me get a winning scratch ticket, and sometimes they tell me things I don't want to hear."

"Y-you cheated to get all that money?" Robin said as he shot a worried look to his Uncle, "Isn't that bad?"

"What's a scratch ticket?" Rosalynn asked to Lorraine, "Is that, like, one of those coupon books you give to your dad for father's day full of promises to do chores and stuff?"

Lorraine shook her head, "No, I think a scratch ticket is sort of like a I.O.U. that you buy from the government that you can cash in at a later date, like, if you don't want to put your money in a bank account or something."

Lincoln blinked and laid back down on the bed, "Er, no. That's a government bond, Lorraine. A scratch ticket is like the lottery. You buy a piece of paper and it has a sticker you can scratch off on it, if you get a lucky piece of paper you get a lot of money. The odds are verybad, so it's not a very good idea to spend your money on them. You should instead buy a government bond, like what Lorraine was talking about."

Carolynn scratched behind Lorraine's ear and laughed, "You are so smart, Lorraine."

Lorraine, now less uncomfortable with Carolynn's physical displays of affection, laughed and shook her head free of Carolynn's grasp and held her hand tight, "Nope, I got it all wrong when it came to what a scratch off ticket is."

Robin gave a slight frown and looked down to Lorraine, "Dude, I told you she wasn't like that."

"Stop reading my mind, Robin," Lorraine clicked her tongue at her brother, "It's freaking rude."

"Right," Robin nodded and gave a genuine bow of apology towards his sister, "I would blame it on the… uh… headphones, but I guess it's my fault for listening."

He withdrew the earbud and handed it off to Rosalynn, "I still think it's kinda cheating though."

Rosalynn immediately shoved the earpiece in, "Whatever. So long as he isn't using them in something that matters, like during a Muscle Fish match to read your opponents move or a tragic the gathering game to see what cards they have in their hand."

Lincoln rose his eyebrows as he stared at his ceiling fan, with a yawn he said, "Good idea. I should write these down."

"Dude!" Rosalynn exclaimed at her Tio's wanton disrespect for the honor between gamers, not knowing he was joking, "Oh, you were joking… that's cool… I mean… unless if the voice is lying to me… was it?"

Lincoln shrugged his shoulders, "Honestly, at this point I'm just making noises with my mouth. I'm so tired, but I can't fall asleep. I kinda don't want to since I haven't hung out with you guys in a while."

Lorraine and Robin both spoke at the same time, "We missed you too, Uncle Lincoln-" they then looked at each other and cringed in embarrassment.

"Wow," Carolynn made a stink face, "That's so embarrassing."

"Wait," Rosalynn looked around the room, unsure where to train her eyes, "was he telling the truth? Does he miss us? Or should we leave him alone and get some sleep?"

The girl waited for the answer to her questions, tapping the earphones impatiently. She had no idea that she should start learning to make her own decisions and living her own life instead listening to others. A life lived in someone else's shadow is not a life at all, at that point you may as well be just another faceless voice in a sea of noise.

"Hey, you aren't just a voice," Lincoln said to no one in particular, "Okay, and why does Rosalynn get a monolog too and not Robin or Lorraine? Stop playing favorites."

Robin shook his head, "No, I think I'm fine. If I wanted a monolog I'd just ask for one from dad."

Lorraine quickly nodded at Lincoln, "Yeah, I get enough of that at home. I think the headphones knew that though, and that's why she didn't say anything to me like that. I think she has a pretty voice. I get why you like her."

"It's not a her, Lorraine," Lincoln said with a tight lipped smile, "It's just a computer program that's smart because of machine learning. Er- Robin," Lincoln asked to the blonde boy who nodded, "Could you put on a viewtube video about machine learning? I feel like I'd probably explain it wrong…"

Lorraine quickly looked at Robin and he froze mid-step with a nod, they both turned to Lincoln.

Lorraine spoke first, "I understand that it's not a person, Uncle Loud. And that it's a program and not real. I just think that sometimes it's cool to call inanimate objects boys or girls, like how Pap-Pap calls his car 'Misty' or Mom calls her back massager 'Daddy 2'."

Lincoln frowned.

Robin opened his mouth to speak second, but closed it after Lorraine said all of that.

Rosalynn unzipped her hoodie and threw it on Lincoln's bed, "You can have this back now," she drove a thumb into the enlarged face of Hunter on her Angst Creek t-shirt, "I am gonna be my own person- whatever the ding dang heck that means."

Rosalynn offered the earbud to Lily who looked at it, squinted her eyes, and shook her head. The girl chucked the earbud to Lincoln who caught it with his cheek, he shoved it back in its rightful place: his left ear.

"Er-" Lincoln kicked the hoodie off his bed with his shoe, "that really wasn't mine to give away, she just kinda left it here."

Rosalynn shook her head, "Wow. So you don't want it anymore? All that time you spent with Tia Ronalda meant nothing to you?"

Lorraine looked at Rosalynn and nodded in appreciation, "Pretty cool that you took her advice to heart, I'm sure she appreciates that."

Lincoln frowned even harder, "It's a program, Lorraine…"

Carolynn cleared her throat and took a seat on Lincoln's steamer trunk next to his dresser, "Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm feeding our vacuum cleaner when I'm vacuuming the living room, I guess it's like that, Uncle Lincoln. We should show appreciation towards everything that makes our lives easier, just so we don't take things for granted."

Robin immediately nodded, "That does make sense…" he quickly looked at his Uncle for approval, "R-right?"

Lincoln yawned, "Sure. Just don't start feeding it people food or let it eat at the table."

Carolynn blinked, "You're right… that is much to think about."

Rosalynn picked up the dingy purple hoodie from the ground and shook it at her Tio, "Then what about this? What about Tia? Why don't you appreciate her?"

Lincoln kicked off his shoes and crawled under the covers, "Cuz… uh… I guess that's not really my job anymore. I'm not her boyfriend. I appreciate her as a friend. What do you want from me, Rosy? Hang the hoodie up on the wall like some kind of grim trophy?"

Rosalynn fumed as she gripped the hoodie in her hands, "Yes! Or at least call her! She says you guys haven't talked since New Years! That's crazy! I mean, what if I didn't talk to Robin or Lorraine for, like, that long! They'd probably forget I'd even exist!"

Lorraine and Robin both got up to give Rosalynn a group hug while both assuring her that wasn't the case at all. After some thinking Carolynn joined in as well, it was a free hug and she doesn't really get those too often from her twin sister. Lily was distracted by the Hammy the Hamster omnibus Lorraine left on the floor and decided to give that one another re-read, making sure to give Rosalynn a hug later as she isn't really too keen on handing out hugs

After the touching character moment Lincoln spoke up, "I get where you are coming from, Rosalynn, but I feel like now isn't the time for me to call up Ronnie… it's not because I'm upset with her or anything. It's more like I'm not ready yet. I don't have enough things to gloat about, you'll understand when you get a ex-girlfriend."

Rosalynn wiped her face and sniffled, staring at the floor with a smile, "Whatever, Tio. If you wanna be a chicken, go ahead."

Robin sighed as he took a seat on Lincoln's couch against the wall where Leni's bed used to be, "That's not really fair, why can't Aunt Ronnie just call him up? If they both decide to not talk then it's totally fine- we shouldn't bother them…"

Carolynn let out a haughty laugh, covering her mouth and shaking her head, "You really don't understand girls at all, Robin. That's not how these things work. Talk to Auntie Lola about it later, she'll set you straight."

Before Lincoln could tell Robin that he should probably not do that a soft knock was heard on the door, on the other side of the cheap particle board were two blonde women in the middle of their 20's.

"Robin, get the door for your mom." said Lincoln.

Robin got up from the couch and started sprinting as soon as Rosalynn rushed to the door to beat Robin to the punch. The two of them collided, Robin's elbow accidentally driving into Rosalynn's side and Rosalynn's foot "accidentally" tripping Robin to the floor.

Lorraine and Carolynn stepped over their bodies to greet their mothers as Lily sighed while looking at the two dazed kids on the floor and decided to take a large black marker from her hoodie pocket as she neared their crumpled forms.

"I hope that's not a permanent marker, Lily." Lincoln said as the door was opening.

"Hey, twerp, are you dead yet?" Lori asked Lincoln as she scooped up the two girls on the floor for a hug, "I heard you were up past curfew last night and sent the kids here to torture you as punishment seeing as mom and dad don't really bother doing that with you anymore."

"It's nice seeing you too, Lori," Lincoln said, his voice was gravely buy still had a hint of warmth in it, "if I knew you guys were coming over I wouldn't have stayed up so late. You know how much I like seeing you guys."

Carol giggled to herself as Lori placed the girls in her hands and gave them a hug, "Yes, sure, Lincoln. You can pretend to be as family oriented as you'd like, but I heard from dad that you got that car to impress a girl. You should know better than to do something like that," she laughed and set the girls down, "you don't need a fancy car to get a girl to like you! You're plenty impressive by yourself."

Lincoln nodded, "Sure. I mostly just got it because I was getting sick and tired of driving Clyde around, I love the guy but having to be his chauffeur gets kinda grating."

"Hey, mom," Robin slowly got up from the floor, rubbing the drawn-on cat whiskers on his cheek, "is it dinner yet?"

Carol shook her head and pointed at the couch, "Not yet, sweetie. Take a seat and wait with the girls, please."

Robin smiled as he took a seat next to his sister. Lincoln got up, clearly unnerved by the four six-year-olds patiently and politely waiting on the couch. He cleared his throat and faced away from them, thinking that the very idea of children behaving themselves is tantamount to a upheaval of the natural order.

"Sure, sure," Lori laughed as she paced around her old room, silently admiring what her little brother has done with the place, "And I'm sure you just enjoy all these tasteful little knick-knacks you have around your room, they literally aren't all set dressing to make yourself out as less boring to all the girls you invite over."

Lincoln tried his hardest not to sound too hurt as he pointed to the bottle of sand Lori was turning over in her hands, "Pretty much all of this stuff is just souvenirs from vacations we've gone to as a family… it's- I'm not like that, Lori."

Lori's cheeks burnt as she put the bottle of sand back down next to some others on his bookshelf, "I mean, duh. I was just messing with you, twerp."

Carol covered her mouth to giggle, "Yup. I'm sure you'll find a nice girl soon, Lincoln. Lucy told me about Haiku, our friend Dana used to babysit her with Lori."

"Ohhhh, Haiku, huh?" Lori took a seat on the bed and sat cross-legged, "Yeah, she was a very rambunctious little girl, did weird stuff all the time like place her toys on the ceiling fan and turned it on just to send them all flying. Drove Dana insane, so she had me as back-up. I was bad cop and Dana was bader cop."

"That's not a word, Lori…" Carol sighed before turning back to Lincoln, "So- are you going to come down for dinner? Colin and Bobby are both dying to talk to you about your new car, they keep on standing around it and whispering to themselves."

Lori walked over to her old window and looked down at Bobby, Simon, Lynn Sr., Rocky, and Colin all giggling amongst themselves as they stared at the car parked in front of the house.

"I have a feeling that I might not make it down the stairs…" Lincoln yawned as he went back to his bed, "Wake me up in 3 hours, I should be good by then."

Carol and Lori nodded and spoke in unison, "Sure thing, Linc'."

Lori snapped her fingers and pointed at the door, not bothering to look at who she was talking to as she made her way out, "You heard him, kids. Lincoln needs a nap."

Rosalynn, Carolynn, Robin, and Lorraine all bowed respectfully to Uncle Lincoln after getting up from the couch. Lincoln gave them a tight-lipped nod, still a bit uncomfortable with their performative politeness. Lily crawled from underneath the bed and gave a smile to Lincoln, flashing him a thumbs up.

Lincoln blinked and started to wonder if perhaps being weirdly polite was better than whatever he was as a kid.

As they all exited Carol tilted her head at Lily, "Lily, where are your shoes?"

"Stuck in a tree," Lily replied as she closed the door behind her, "can you help me hold the ladder, Auntie Carol?"

Lincoln sighed in content as he took his earbuds out to charge them in their container and tucked himself into bed.


He woke up, he managed a good hour and a half of sleep. An amount unusual in a household as active as his.

Lincoln turned the phone on in his hands, his eyes adjusting to the blinding light of his screen. Sid Chang was calling. He answered it and turned his screen off.

"Hey, you watch it?"

"What? Angst Creek? No, remember? We are supposed to do a rewatch of it together or something."

"Oh yeah! Sorry, putting down fletnix and chill on my calendar app. My place or yours?"

"Let's just meet halfway and get a motel somewhere- it'll make me feel like a senator having some kind of illicit affair, even though all we will be doing is getting cheesy poof dust everywhere and screaming at the TV."

"Sounds kinda advanced for me… I think I'm more of a vanilla kind of girl."

"What? No- I meant- okay, sure. Let's just do some screensharing on a videocall or something. The logistics of meeting up just to watch a show is kinda crazy during the schoolweek anyways, and I'm not pulling an all-nighter again. I feel like a zombie."

"Oh, dope. What kinda trouble did you get into last night? Did you crawl under Haiku's window and recite poetry to her?"

"Nah, remember Chandler? That douchebag I was talking to you about who has been hounding me at lunch lately?"

"Dude. HELL YEAH! That's kinda hot…"

"What? Ew. No. I rolled up to Burpin' Burger and he was all messed up from a concussion and moonshine. I had to drive him and his girlfriend, Christina, home."

"So you didn't have some kinda thing with the three of them in the back of your slam-waggon?"

"Don't call it that ever again. And no, I kind of still hate the tar out of Chandler for how much of a jerk he was back when we were kids. He's tried to simmer it down after Lynn took him under her wing to groom him into some kinda pigskin-throwing machine, but it kinda just feels weird."

"I dunno, dude. I've read a lot of Angst Creek fanfiction and that sounds exactly like the setup for something steamy."

"I'll take your word for it. Oh yeah, I got that muscle car."

"I saw the photo… the backseat honestly looks kinda spacious. But I dunno about the leather interior, wouldn't it get slippery from all the juices?"

"Yeah, I'll be sure to put a tarp down before I get Chandler all oiled up and ready to go like in your fanfictions."

"Seriously, Linc. I will add the baby oil to my Yangtze shopping cart if you keep filling my head with ideas. I get a student discount on Prime so I don't even have to pay shipping."

"Sorry, I felt kinda grossed out after saying that too. I feel like I should apologize to Christina, but I don't want to give her any ideas. The fact that she seems to genuinely like that guy just makes me think she's insane. So I guess she's a good match for him."

"What's her deal? Is she a cheerleader? Probably stupid skinny and shows off her thong. Whaletails are back en vogue nowadays."

"I mean, I feel like you can't be too heavy if you're a cheerleader since they are always throwing each other around. But I suppose she is pretty thin. I was trying my hardest not to check her out, lest I get psychic damage from imagining Chandler taking her to smooch city. She was pretty open about their intimacy."

"Why are you talking like you've got parental filters on? Is your mom in the room? Can you tell her that I said sorry about the fletnix and chill joke? I feel kinda embarrassed about it now…"

"Nah, Lori and Carol brought their kids over to visit their Aunt Luna. I'm supposed to be down there to hang out, but I was really tired. I'll probably drag myself down in there for dinner, Lola and Lana are on the grill. But- sure, yeah. I'm keeping it age appropriate in case if Robin and Rosy are listening in at the door, they can be pretty nosy."

"I think Lorraine is my favorite, I like how chill she is. Tell her that next time she's in the city that we should hang."

"Yeah, I'm sure she will appreciate that. But, you probably shouldn't be having favorites. That's kinda messed up."

"Good point I've been on the receiving end of that before, and honestly I'm pretty sure I might have been messing up their names. Which one was the one who is basically like a mini-Adelaide?"

"Uh. None of them. Maybe Carolynn, but only in how they did their hair last year. She's going full Lori mode right now, it's kinda cute."

"Dope. That 70's haircut is killer. Do you think I should change up my hairstyle? Recently I've had it in a ponytail, I don't even use a scrunchy anymore with how greasy it gets. Don't need to shower if you never go outside! I'm going green!"

"That's gotta be the nastiest thing I've heard today. Anyways- was the hype worth it? The premier any good?"

"Yup! Don't wanna spoil you, but when we binge the series keep your eyes open for a certain character who has a bejeweled hairpin hehehe… this show is so cool with all the incidental characters getting fleshed out!"

"Alright, I'll put that down in my notes."

"But yeah, I'm not really too sure what the heck else I'm gonna be doing for the rest of this week seeing as I finished up this week's homework."

"I can swing by this weekend, probably Saturday. But if something comes up and I have to cancel don't get all upset with me."

"It's cool, Lincoln. I know you'll probably choose Haiku or Chandler over me because I'm too stinky. Which is rich coming from some guy who apparently is into cheesy poof play."

"Okay. I don't like the Chandler jokes. They are starting to get me legitimately uncomfortable. And I am not into cheesy poofs dust. I'm pretty sure that's a one-way ticket to a yeast infection."

"Gross! Why are you always so nasty?!"

"I got a lotta stuff I need to work out… so, uh… Rosalynn was kinda upset that I haven't talked to Ronnie in a while."

"Aww. That's cute. She took it hard back when you guys broke up, it was like her parents were splitting up or something."

"Oh. Oh, wow… I didn't think of that. I guess since she was so young it was probably, like, one of her primal memories. Like how I can't look at chocolate ice cream without thinking about that time Lori drank a whole pint of melted chocolate ice cream when our fridge was broken and my parents were too broke to fix it until their next paycheck. I think I was 3 or something."

"Yup! Rosalynn probably wants you to get back together again so you can take her and Carolynn out on those weird dates you did with Ronnie where you both larped being married."

"You know, that was really weird that we did that. We were like 14 and arguing about the proper way to raise the twins like they didn't already have loving parents."

"Imagine how weird it was just watching that. I guess it was kinda fun playing the fun-loving Aunt type character, but I'd rather be another role next time. Maybe distant cousin who is actually a member of a witness protection program or Dad's coworker with the pool table in the basement."

"I need to beef up my pool game. Girl Jordan has a table and every time I play I always end up losing."

"Man, I'm so jealous of all the cool people in your high school. The only thing people ever do around here is stare at their phones in-between classes and sleeping. The parties are boring and are usually just people talking about stuff they saw on their phones. Probably because everything is so expensive nowadays that nobody can really do anything."

"You don't need money to have fun, last month the gang and I just took our bikes to the creek really early in the morning and collected edible mushrooms for a stew for lunch."

"Whoa. You guys are foraging? The most we ever did was show up to skate spots and watch Ronnie Anne land the same trick over and over again until she landed it perfectly. I got so tired of holding her phone that I bought a tripod."

"Its been a while since we've all hung out, we've been really into Diabolos 4. Even made a guild. But we've simmered down since the patch. I made plans to invite Christina and some of her friends to go to karaoke with us on Friday after school."

"And does Haiku know about this? You serenading another young lady?"

"Not yet, but she will. I'm writing about it in my next letter to her. I'm still waiting on my reply, getting kinda excited thinking about reading it actually…"

"Awwwww, so cute! I still want a letter too, though. Seeing as you're a prude I might have to get a prison pen pall or something, maximum security- I want danger and excitement."

"Nope, not allowed."

"What? You can't tell me what to do! If I want a steamy letter from some psycho who turned their landlady into a lampshade then that's my own prerogative!"

"Okay. Please tell me your joking."

"Kind of. I am bored. And lonely. And hearing you living this super-sexy-teen-romance lifestyle is kiiiiind of making me… jealous."

"Sid Chang, are you trying to guilt trip me into doing some kind of weird letter affair thing?"

"You and Haiku aren't even official yet! Just write me one real quick before you guys actually do get together! It could even be jokey! I don't mind… I just never got any love letters when I was in school… or, like, any romantic attention at all."

"Wait, really? I mean, Sid-ness aside, you are a solid 10. Like a legitimate 10."

"Uh, ouch. Sid-ness? Really?"

"Think of Sid-ness less of an indictment of you and more about my own personal hang-ups that keep me from wanting to date you, for example: how you are my ex's best friend, how you knew me when I was an annoying 11 year old, or how I have past experiences of ruining really solid friendships by throwing romance into the equation."

"Ahhhh. Yeah. I guess that makes sense. You'd think you'd get over that stuff by now since you are basically an adult, but you can't help your Linc-ness."

"Well, isn't that just how it be sometimes. I'll see about writing you a letter, but… I dunno, Sid. Like, if I did that it could make things weird between us. And kinda make me feel like a jerk with Haiku."

"I know. It's your call, Lincoln. I guess I'm just really bored… And I was mostly just joking, I think you should go out with Haiku, she probably needs it. You can be, like, her training wheels. Welp- I'll let you go now, you were right: I really do need a shower."

"Talk to you soon, dude. Later."

Sid hung up her phone call and collapsed onto her bed on the other side of the world, she didn't have it in her to move. But, in a fit of desperation, decided to call up her friend Nikki to see if she had anything going on.

Lincoln slowly got up.

"I don't think I'll write it," he said to no one in particular in his dark room, "I know you like Haiku more."

The room was silent, but sound still leaked in.

Voices came from the vents. The sound of cars rolling by rattled the windows. Screams of anguish replaced by roaring laughter in the matter of seconds muffled by the plaster on the walls. Music floated up from the cracks in the floorboards. Even above him he could hear the faint pitter-patter of footsteps and laughter from the attic.

There was a world full of sensation and wonder, all the young man had to do was to take a step outside of his head. An easy enough thing to do if you have friends to push you forward, and an easy enough thing to do if you have friends that you want to take along with you.

The young man scratched his head and shrugged his shoulders before opening up his door. His headphones turned off as he nestled them in his pocket.


Guys, I just looked up "red-headed" cheerleader on Google images and saw a lot of photos of red-headed cheerleaders. I guess they ARE real.

Anyways, Carol and Lori had twins. You might be wondering why Lorraine and Robin call Lincoln "Uncle Lincoln" when he isn't even their uncle. And why Rosalynn calls everyone Tio or Tia and Carolynn uses English titles. It's because of reasons, obviously. Because of the answers.

Anyways, I'm gonna go back to looking at pictures of red headed cheerleaders.