"So…" Lana shook her head and sighed as she peeped into the driver's side window to look down at Lincoln, "is there a reason you got a top-of-the-line muscle car and got it in automatic transmission?"
Lincoln blinked and looked down at the stick shift, "Uh? Because I trust the good old fashion American engineers who designed the car to figure out how to shift more efficiently than me?"
Lana narrowed her eyes, "Not good enough. Think of a better reason."
Lincoln turned to Bobby in the passenger seat, then turned around to face Colin, Lynn Sr., and Simon. Each of them just shrugged his shoulders at his pleading look.
"I uh…" Lincoln tapped his fingers and looked up to Lana, "They didn't have any in this particular model in standard on the lot and I didn't want to wait?"
Lana sighed and pressed her forehead on the roof, "I guess it's your money, Lincoln," she walked back to the house and spoke over her shoulder, "have fun with your little toy."
"Dude," Simon Sharp leaned forward in his seat and whispered, "why would anyone want to drive anything with a stick shift? It's 2023, at that point you might as well be riding a horse and buggy."
"I mean," Bobby Santiago juggled his hands palms up as he contemplated aloud, "I guess it's cooler? I just wouldn't want to risk doing any damage to the… uh… engine from some kind of… miss-shift or whatever."
Colin Deloux snapped his fingers and nodded, "Good point…" he said pensively, "Thing costs almost as much as I make in a year. No way would I even risk uh… downshifting the… thingy… inappropriately…"
"Driving a stick is a pain," Lynn Loud Sr. mumbled as he sank into his seat, "My dad made me learn in my grandma's old car because he sure wasn't gonna teach me in vanzilla… I stalled out in the middle of traffic and almost got rammed into by a truck."
The 4 men collectively sighed in relief as someone who actually knows anything more than surface knowledge about manual transmission was in the car.
"Right," Lincoln nodded as he pat the steering wheel, "also," he pointed at the console, "heated seats. That'll be great on my back."
"Oh, man!" Bobby said with a laugh as he looked throughout the cabin, "are these ashtrays in the door handles? I mean- I don't smoke, and if I did I would never smoke in a car as nice as this one, but: whoa. That's class."
Simon unfurled the built in sunshade latched into the roof of the car and attached it to the bottom of the window, "Dude! Look at this! My room doesn't even have curtains!"
Before Lincoln could ask about that Colin dug his hand into the pocket behind the driver's seat, "Okay, now this is deep. You could probably fit a jacket in here!"
Lincoln patted the headrest, "Take a closer look at the headrests behind you," he turned the radio on to blast easy listening music, "Speakers. In the headrest. Isn't that bonkers?"
"Dude," Bobby said as he ran his hands through his hair, "I'm… I'm so happy for you, Linc," he sniffled to himself as Lynn Sr. patted him on the back, "The rest of your senior year is gonna be soooooo awesome."
Lynn Sr. wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, "I just… I can't believe my own son is driving a car so cool. It's like- I don't know! Like, imagine all the wicked adventures you're going to have, son! Vanzilla can wait until you start a family, have fun with this thing-
"But, you are your mother's son," Lynn frowned at Lincoln as the two of them nodded to each other in understanding, "watch yourself. There is a demon inside of you, one that wants to rack up as much speeding tickets and traffic violations as possible. You have to keep that in check."
Simon nodded to Lincoln's reflection in the rear view mirror, "With great power, dude…" He pat Lincoln on the back once before exiting, "You gotta watch yourself in a beast like this one."
Carol and Lori left the front door and walked over, the two sets of twins in tow.
Colin scooted over and left the car to take another look at the front, he nodded in appreciation, "Yep," he called out, "You look like you belong in that thing. You made a good call, Lincoln. Wish I had the balls when I was your age."
Robin tugged at his father's hand and looked up, "What kind of car did you drive when you were a kid, dad?"
Colin sighed and looked at Carol with a smile, "Remember that old hunk of junk?"
Carol rolled her eyes and blushed, "How could I forget?" Carol leaned down to rustle Robin's hair, "Your daddy drove a really old car, that was older than him. It was the only thing he could afford, but it was good enough for us. And that's what matters."
Carol unlocked the luxury SUV parked behind Lori's foreign sports car.
"Yeah," Colin chuckled as he lifted up his now-sleepy children to carry them into their car, "your mom was the one with the cool cars."
"Cool," Lorraine yawned as she waved to Lincoln, "bye bye, Uncle Lincoln. Thank you for spending time with us!"
Robin gave a wave as well, and Lincoln waved back.
Lori peeked into the window and Rosalynn and Carolynn got on their tippy toes to stare into the interior in wonderment.
"Wow…" Lori sighed dismissively, "you really got it in automatic. Well, I guess it's your money…"
"Oh , come on, babe!" Bobby laughed as he pat Lincoln on the shoulder, "cut Linc' some slack- not all of us had a antique rally car as their first car!"
Lori got a faraway look on her face and smiled, "Yeah, me and Eliza really had some good memories…" She reached into the window to ruffle Lincoln's white hair, "and I'm sure you and your new toy will get up to all sorts of trouble! Good thing you've got all that money squared away, but watch out- speeding tickets get expensive after a while."
Lincoln rolled his eyes and smirked at Lori, "I plan on just cruising in this thing. No point in rushing towards a red light or a stop sign…"
"Ha!" Rosalynn jumped up to exclaim, "Tio Lincoln, you basically always went really fast in your old car! Remember when Tia talked you into jumping that-"
Carolynn elbowed Rosalynn in the arm and lied, "That was just a videogame, sis. Quit trying to get Uncle Lincoln in trouble."
Bobby sighed to himself and chuckled as he exited the car, "Nice save, kiddo…"
Lynn Sr. was too busy fiddling around with the seat warmers to pay any attention, but Lori opened up the back door to give her dad a quick hug, "Alright, dad. We'll swing by again soon. I'll probably swing by after golf practice this Tuesday for brunch with mom."
Lynn Sr. started sniffling, "Thanks, sweetie." He quickly jumped out of the car to scoop up the twins for a hug, "You two stay out of trouble in school!"
"Trouble seems to find us." Carolynn stated as she gave her Uncle Lincoln a wave goodbye.
"Yeah," Rosalynn laughed, "it's pretty awesome."
The Santiago's then all piled up into Lori's car, and after they all buckled up Lori whipped the car into reverse- whipping the car around to speed off, her tires squealing and engine roaring as they made their way back to their house in Huntington Manor.
"You know…" Lincoln sighed as he turned the car off and walked back into the house, "if you told me ten years ago that Lori would be a famous golfer and Bobby would be an internationally renowned financial advisor I probably wouldn't have believed you."
Lynn followed behind him and placed two hands on his shoulders as they walked, "What are you talking about? I always knew you kids would grow up to be amazing! I just wish I kinda had more time to prepare for everyone growing up, time just goes way too ding dang fast- but… I gotta say: it's been a blast!"
Lincoln laughed as he dislodged his earbuds and got ready for bed.
Clyde, Zack, Rusty, and Liam shifted uncomfortably as they all adjusted in the rear seats of Lincoln's car. The early morning sun warmed them up from the cold breeze coming from all directions of the high school parking lot.
"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude," Stella said as she looked at the inside of the passenger door, "are those cupholders in the door? That's so sick! You can even remove them to clean them out!"
"Okay, now I ain't saying that I'm a chicken or nothing," Liam struggled to say as Clyde's elbows drove into his rib cage, "but I'm not too keen on you doing donuts with all of us packed in here like a got darn chicken coop."
"Motion carried," Clyde said as he struggled to find a place to place his long legs, "think you can scoot the seat up, Linc'?"
Lincoln adjusted his seat up with the automatic switch on the side of the seat, a low whirling was heard over the wind as he slowly lurched forward.
"Yeah, sorry about the lack of space, I wasn't about to buy a van," Lincoln shook his head, "we already have one at home."
"I still think the van is cooler," Zack admitted as he left the car with a sigh and sighed, "like, yes, this thing is a super-powered chick magnet- but Vanzilla has got history."
"Yeah, really nasty history…" Rusty said with a snicker as he took Zack's spot, "I don't even want to think about what has happened in that back seat. You've got 10 sisters, dude."
Stella turned around and stated, "Rusty. It's way too early for you to be talking like that."
"Well…" Liam sighed as he cradled his head and leaned back in his seat, "I think this car of your is mighty fine. All these bells and whistles seem a little extra, but wooo-weee they sure are nice."
Lincoln pressed his forehead into the steering wheel and mumbled, "Why the heck did you have to put that idea in my head, Rusty?"
A stirring in the shadows was faintly noticed by nobody, it weaved through the park cars with ease and was about to strike the unsuspecting teenager-
"Hey, Lucy," Lincoln brought his head up to his left, "I would have given you a ride but I kinda wanted to leave early to pick up some coffee…"
Lincoln dislodged a large soy thai tea with 2 shots of espresso and handed the steaming beverage to the silently fuming girl.
"Thank you," Lucy said, her voice colder than the morning chill, "You have been very perceptive lately. I wonder why…"
Rusty stopped gripping his terror-stricken heart and gave his little brother's girlfriend an uneasy smile, "Heya, Lucy. Didn't see you there… haha…"
Lincoln shrugged his shoulders at the girl, "I guess you're the one who is predictable now."
Lucy frowned and shifted in her many-buckled goth stompers, "I- really? Sigh. I suppose I must up my game."
Lincoln shook his head, probably a bit too faster than he meant to, "No! You don't have to do that! I'm just- you know, big-bro-sense. I'm finally attuned to everyone's wavelength- or something."
"Right…" Lucy sighed and handed off a letter to Lincoln who took it with a warm smile, "I'll be seeing you around, and good morning to the rest of you."
Liam blinked and spoke up after he was certain Lucy was out of ear shot, he was wrong but spoke anyways, "Did she just give us a good morning? She must really be happy! Good for he-"
Lincoln adjusted the rearview mirror to meet Lucy where her eyes are, or at least his closest approximation to their location, "You forget something, Luc'?"
"Groan," Lucy groaned as she placed her hands on her hips, "I just would like to let you know that Haiku would greatly appreciate it if you could eat lunch with us in the courtyard today. She did not ask me to ask you, but did hint at it with her anguished sighing."
"Haiku, huh?" Clyde tapped his hands on his knees and nodded, "She's a really nice girl! You better be polite, Lincoln."
"Dude, Lincoln is polite to a fault when it comes to ladies," Zack adjusted his glasses and peeked underneath the car, "Where did Lucy go? I wanted to say that I thought her new boots were cool."
Lincoln scanned the parking lot, "Er, no. But I can pass on the message…"
The white haired boy continued staring at the shadows, even though Lucy was already inside and making her way to the library to meet up with her friends.
"Yeah, those boots are awesome," Stella sighed and turned up the seat warmers, "I always wanted a pair but when I tried them on at Tepid Topic I tripped and almost busted my nose open."
"About as graceful as a newborn calf…" Liam gave a soft chuckle as he patted Stella on the back, "But that's fine, Stella. You're tall enough as it is- you put on platform shoes and birds will start making nests in your hairdo."
"Being tall sucks…" Stella pouted, "but at least I'm popular with some of the jock chicks, we hang out in the locker room after gym class and we talk and stuff."
Rusty rose an eyebrow, "And stuff?"
Stella clicked her tongue, "I swear to Christ, Rusty. Stop being this gross this early."
Rusty rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, actually kind of hurt, "No- I mean. I just think it's cool that you're finally making friends with girls and stuff-"
Stella turned around in her seat, but Lincoln quickly whipped his head towards her and shook his head, "He's actually telling the truth this time, but could have said that better. I also think it's cool that you're making girl friends- or friends that are girls."
"Yeah, dude," Zack nodded as he looked up from his phone, "we just think its cool you've finally grown out of your I'm not like the other girls phase."
Stella sunk in her seat and snagged her coffee cup from the side cup holder, "Jeez. It's not that big of a deal, guys. I mean, it's not like they're inviting me to parties or anything…"
"Oh yeah," Lincoln turned towards Stella and snagged his own coffee out from the cup holder to take a sip, "Shyla told me that Chandler was acting like even more of a chode at G. J.'s party."
Stella groaned, "Yeah, he kept on making the same joke over and over again until someone laughed at it."
"Hold up," Liam rose an eyebrow at Stella, "I mean if we all go to Girl Jordan's parties because we are her friends, ain't that mean she is your friend too? Same with everyone else there who happens to be a lady at said shindigs?"
Stella rolled her eyes, "No, it's different. It's not like they're inviting me to all their sleepovers to paint each other's nails and talk about what boys we wanna kiss… Which is a good thing because that would suck."
Lincoln and Clyde both shot looks at each other.
Clyde adjusted his glasses and spoke slowly, "Er, Stella. Girl slumber parties are just like boy slumber parties except everyone showers and Lincoln has to wear pajamas and not sleep in his underwear. I've slept over with the Loud family a bunch over the years, it's really not that bad."
Stella's cheeks went red as she brought her knees up to her face and hugged her legs, "I dunno, it still seems like a lot out of my comfort zone…"
Lincoln nodded, "Yup. Feel free to take your time. Maybe you'll find a girl- or a friend who happens to be a girl, who you feel comfortable enough with spending the night with. These things take time-" Lincoln then immediately turned to Clyde, "Does the me sleeping in my underwear thing really upset you that much?"
"Yes." Answered Zack, Clyde, and Liam unanimously. Rusty shrugged his shoulders. Stella stared blankly at the glove box.
A huge truck pulled up in front of them, the occupants immediately opened the door and stepped down from the lifted vehicle. Luckily the five of them were athletic enough to handle the four feet drop to the asphalt.
"Sup, nerds!" Greeted Chandler as he lowered his shades at Lincoln's new car, "Dude! Moving on up in the world! You almost look good in that thing, stinkcoln!"
Christina took a deep breath and tried hard to not feel that embarrassed by her boyfriends behavior this early in the morning, "Thanks for saving us a spot so close to the building, Lincoln. Don't you have first period off, though?"
Rusty whispered to Lincoln, "Why do they think we saved them a spot? Are we all cool now?"
Without turning around Lincoln gave a shrug of his shoulders and spoke up, "Just wanted to snag something close so I could get out of here faster. Parking lot is a nightmare when the final bell rings."
Chandler's goons flanked his sides and eyed the car up and down, looked at each other and nodded.
"Bad ass," the one on the left said to the one on the right, "Lincoln is cool now."
The one on the right slung his backpack over his shoulder and sighed, "Yup. I can kind of get where Chandler is coming from now, he's like a stealth cool kid."
Chandler raised his sunglasses to give his girlfriend a peck on the cheek, "Alright, babe. I'll see you at lunch, I gotta head into class early to get yelled at by my math teacher for some dumb bullshit about a missed quiz."
Christina rolled her eyes, "I told you, just because you can pass a class with a couple of 0's in your quizzes doesn't mean you can just skip them, teachers hate stuff like that."
"Yup," Chandler smiled and nodded, "you sure did… next time I don't listen to you, please slap some sense into me-" Chandler then turned back towards Lincoln, "Hey, thanks for helping us out this weekend, lame-o. And for driving my girl back home, that was pretty cool of you."
Lincoln nodded, "If it happens again you're going to have to sit in the trunk."
Chandler and his goons started laughing and all flashed Lincoln a thumbs up before they made their way into the building.
The girl standing besides Christina rose her eyebrows at her. Christina noticed and flashed an uneasy smile at Lincoln.
Lincoln noticed and tried his hardest to seem as neutral, yet not too neutral, about the situation as he turned his attention towards Cookie, "Hey, Cookie. You finish up that paper for history yet? I spent, like, 3 hours on it last Friday pulling my hair out until I read that it was supposed to be double-spaced. I was over the word count."
Cookie smelt blood on the water and walked towards the car window, "Nope, not yet. I wouldn't mind getting some help with it after school," Cookie tilted her head, "maybe at your place?"
Liam and Rusty silently groaned as they each passed a five dollar bill to a smug Clyde.
Lincoln blinked and drew his head back, "Uh? Sure? Just- um. I can pick you up at 6? Are you still living in that same neighborhood as Zack?"
Cookie sighed and stood back up, "Yup. Try not to judge me for how much of a shithole my dad keeps the yard."
Christina tilted her head at Lincoln and spoke up, "Well, are you sure you want to just agree to something like that? Cut the bullshit, aren't you talking to Haiku?"
"Haiku?" Cookie laughed, she immediately went quiet as she saw Lincoln's expression, "I don't mind if she's there. In fact, why not invite her too?"
Lincoln rose his hands up, "Whoa! I thought you just legitimately wanted help with your homework, Cookie. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time we worked together on stuff. I feel like I still owe you for that weeks worth of class notes when I was basically a zombie when Diabolos 4 came out."
Cookie sighed, "I mean, the help would be appreciated. And I guess we are cool with Haiku…" She gave a nod to Lincoln's friends, "she's tight with our dude Boris. Stuff like that matters to the cheerleaders. We stick together."
Liam was the first to pipe up, "Heck, I don't blame you for trying to reel in Linc', he's a real swell guy! I think you should still shoot your shot, Cookie."
Before Lincoln could complain Rusty added in, "Yeah, Haiku is nice but I feel like she might be too young for Lincoln. I think Linc' is looking for his forever girl, you know? Someone to settle down with."
Lincoln was stunned and kept on trying and failing to say something, he was just about to force something out when Stella reached over to ruffle his hair, "Yeah, I mean if you ask me, Lincoln needs someone with experience, someone who can keep up with his… appetites. He seems like the boy next door, but you should ask Girl Jordan-"
Lincoln realized that his friends were collectively dunking on him and he interrupted, red in the face, "G-guuuuys! Stop! I really do like Haiku!"
Zack looked up from his phone screen, "Oh, Haiku? Dude, she's a sophomore, and you will be graduating in a couple of months. If things get serious, which they probably will knowing you, you're going to be some weirdo adult dating a highschooler. And has Haiku ever even had a boyfriend before?"
Lincoln's eyes widened and he slowly lowered his head to press up against the steering wheel, "Uh, no."
Zack let out a low whistle, "Duuuuuude. I mean, if you guys get married it'll be a cute store to tell the kids- but, still. Do you really wanna be that guy? Not because of some moral thing or something, its just kinda… lame."
"Whoa, hold on there, Zack!" Liam tugged at his collar and looked around for some support, "Where in tarnation is this all coming from? I mean, it's not really that big of a deal! It'll only be two years!"
Lincoln moaned into his hands, "Oh, gosh. It seems as though I have found myself in a pickle."
Zack shoved his phone in his pocket and pat Lincoln on the back, "Listen, man. I know this is a hella awkward conversation, but: she's 16. I know you were super advanced for your age, but- I don't think she knows up from down. But- it's your life, dude. If you think it's a good call then I trust you. Just make sure it's your call."
Lincoln started banging his head on the steering wheel, "Actually. She's. 15."
Stella almost spat her drink out of her nose and started coughing, "Bro."
"Okay," Clyde held his hands up and started patting Lincoln on the back, "Dude, it's not the end of the world. Honestly, I think you two would be cute together. My dad's have twice the age gap and it wasn't a problem, they just met later in life."
Christina sighed and leaned against Lincoln's car, "Quit talking about Haiku like she's just some dumb kid. I don't know her that well, but she seems pretty smart. I'm certain that she knows exactly what she is getting into, and knows what she does and doesn't want. Lincoln isn't a scumbag so he won't take advantage of that."
Cookie nodded and held her chin pensively, "I mean, if I had a older sister with a super hot big brother I'd be all over him too. Especially if he just won half a million dollars."
Zack snapped his fingers and nodded, "Good points. I guess I might not know Haiku that well. Either way, I think Lincoln should be careful. Dating his sister's friends usually pans out bad for him-"
"Listen," Cookie giggled and pat Zack on the shoulder, "this is going to make me sound like a total bitch, but: how about you get your own girlfriend before butting into Lincoln's love life so much?"
Lincoln's friends all collectively looked at him as he bore a hole into the center of his steering wheel in a catatonic state and frowned. They all mumbled apologies to him as they realized that maybe they do kind of live vicariously through Lincoln's various romantic exploits.
Liam sighed and nodded to Cookie, "You gotta point there, Cookie. We'll all try to be a bit more hands-off with Lincoln from here on out. I guess it's been a while since any of us thought about dating again- Clyde not countin' since he's goin' steady with Chloe. We got a bit excited."
Cookie beamed, "Lincoln has some pretty cool friends. Watching you guys is hilarious."
The bell rung and the sound of dozens of car doors opened up.
Each of Lincoln's friends gave Lincoln another pat on his shoulder before wishing him a good day at school. Cookie followed the 5 of them in, trying to get to know them a bit better.
Soon, the parking lot was silent. Lincoln was left alone with his thoughts. Not that he could make any sense of them at the moment. They seemed to yell at him at once, from all directions from the insides of his brain, coalescing into a wall of white noise.
What he needed to do was to simply take a step outside of his head, luckily a young woman settled down into his passenger seat and sighed.
"Take me to the Burnt Bean," Christina said as she turned the seat warmers down, "I've got first and second period off on A days."
Lincoln slowly got up and took a deep breath before placing his headphones back in his pocket.
Lincoln brought up his backpack and retrieved a gallon bag full of a medley of various sugary breakfast cereal and poured a measure of it into his black coffee.
"That's insane," Christina remarked with a raised eyebrow, "give me some."
Lincoln nodded as Christina popped open her caramel machiato and poured some cereal into the cup, "Say when."
After a moment Christina held up her hand, "When."
Lincoln placed the cereal back into his backpack and went back to letting his gaze drift out the window.
He spoke after a while, "She wrote me the reply to my letter… but now I kinda feel weird about it. I mean, it's not because of what Zack said or anything- it's more like it's because I basically told myself the same thing about her right before we started talking…"
Christina took a deep breath and watched him closely as she took a sip, it was oddly pleasant but a bit sweeter than what she's used to- but she could get used to it.
"Quit treating it like it's the end of the world, Lincoln," Christina replied, "I mean, for all you know everything in that letter is some weird pillow talk thing. You don't know exactly what she's thinking, for all you know she's just stringing you along."
Lincoln knew intuitively the inherent falsehood of that statement, as he did know that Haiku was deeply and profoundly attracted to him. But there was something inside of him that made him doubt Haiku's undying love towards him, perhaps it was his swollen ego or wandering eyes.
"I don't know what to think," Lincoln sighed, "the voices in my head tell me that she's pretty serious. But I'm pretty sure the moment I start taking disembodied voices that only exist in my head seriously is the moment I should check myself into a mental hospital…"
Christina clicked her tongue and shook her head in pity, "Wow. Hearing voices, huh? She's got you down bad. You should just unzip your pants, slam it on the table, and just make it official with her already. Stop whining about things and just do something."
Lincoln nodded into his drink, "I know. I know. If it was me, like, a year ago I probably would have just asked her out on the spot after thinking about it for a couple minutes. But… I'm kinda planning on going to an out-of-state university and if things go well, which I hope they do, I… don't really want to do a long-distance relationship."
Christina placed her drink on the table, "Listen, why not? I don't think she's a cheater or anything…"
"That's not what I'm worried about," Lincoln groaned and ran his hands on his face, "I just promised myself I would never date long-distance again after this one relationship. It's not because I think Haiku wouldn't be worth it or something, it's just- I would probably just end up here waiting for her to graduate.
"Like, if I had the option to feasibly move somewhere else or change plans just to be with someone I love I'd do it in a heartbeat, just press pause," Lincoln admitted, "which probably isn't a good thing. I got accepted into a bunch of colleges this last New Years, really good opportunities that I really shouldn't pass up. If things get serious then I'd have to be long-distance, for our futures, and it would just tear my heart up to bits."
"Okay, yes, we get it, you're a romantic little wet blanket," Christina laughed, "But stop thinking about the future and think about now. You basically need a girlfriend before everyone starts freaking out about graduation, otherwise you'll be graduating single. And if you actually just let Haiku know about what's going on in that skull of yours she'll totally give you a straight answer."
Lincoln sighed and sank into his seat, "Right. And who knows? Maybe she's just buttering me up to have a date to that dance this Friday and it'll all be over by then."
Christina blinked and quickly drank the rest of her drink before the cereal got too soggy, "Yeah, good point. Maybe all she wants is a quick passion filled romance- just to get it out of her system before she realizes she's gay, and I think you're pretty much the ideal first date to any socially-awkward girl. I asked around and you're basically catnip to quiet, mousy types."
"Right," Lincoln sighed and laughed at himself, his posture straightened up, "no point in getting my hopes up. I'll just play it by ear this lunchtime. Maybe be the one to ask her to the dance."
Christina popped open the lid of her drink, "There we go, finally taking initiative," she got up, "I'm gonna grab a spoon, do you want-"
She stopped talking as Lincoln looked up from the cup he was tapping from the bottom to slide the cereal down his throat, "Wa-huh?"
Christina sighed and walked from the table to hide her smile, "Stop talking with your mouth full…"
Lincoln let his eyes drift around the Café.
It was the usual crowd of teleworkers using the piss-poor wifi connection to have a good enough excuse to leave their webcams off. A couple of trendy 20-somethings all stared in wonderment at the projector displaying a old b-movie on the wall of the raised staged they all claimed to have already seen. A blonde haired woman set four large coffees to the side and scribbled Lulu on them.
Lincoln took a closer look at the group watching the movie and noticed that one of them was wearing a pink wig.
"Lulu?" the woman asked, but before checking to see if they were here she immediately went back to work.
Christina sat back in her chair and plugged her spoon into the cereal, she held up the utensil to her mouth and gave a cutesy smile, "Wow! This is great! Do you always eat your cereal like this? I usually just eat a rice cake and chew on some ice in the mornings."
Lincoln snapped his attention back to Christina as soon as she started talking, "No, just on A-Days when I've got first period off. There usually isn't this much people here on Mondays."
Christina scanned the room covertly and used her cup to cover her mouth, "I think that chick in the beanie is checking you out," Christina laughed softly, "she's asking her friend with the pink hair about you…"
Lincoln rolled his eyes and waved to Sam in a black wig, Luna quickly looked over and the two of them got up to walk towards the table.
Christina's eyes widened and she stared at him in disbelief, "Did you just- holy shit. You work fast whenever letters aren't involved."
"Gross," Lincoln whispered with a stink face, "that's my sister Luna and her wife."
Christina blinked as the chart-topping rockstars slid another table to connect to theirs and whispered, "Wife? Aren't they, like, teenagers? Why do they look so young?"
"And she's polite," Sam joked as she sat next to Christina, "what's your name?"
Christina blinked as she started to recognize the duo, her heart rate soared, "U-uh, Christina Jiminez. And you're Sam Sharp, r-right? Of The Moon Goats?"
"Dude!" Luna gasped and whispered to Sam, "We are finally popular with the popular cheerleader kids! It only took us, what? 7 years?"
Sam laughed and shook her head, "Nah, I think this one is just cool."
Lincoln nodded and stole a sip from Luna's black coffee, "Yeah, she can hang. I gave her a ride last Saturday because her boyfriend-"
Christina laughed a bit louder than she should have and blushed, "Let's not talk about my boyfriend, Lincoln."
Sam and Luna immediately misread the context and rose their eyebrows at each other.
Christina turned back to Luna, "I- I really liked the vocals for Fuselage Massage off of your last album. When I was a kid I would listen to your guys' first album on repeat, it drove my mom crazy how I'd practice your songs in the closet. She thought I was trying to summon the devil or something…"
"No way," Luna slammed her hands to the table, "really? How come Lincoln never invited you to any of our shows?"
Christina gave a tight smile to Lincoln who gave one right back, "Er… remember the video contest thing back when he was in 5th grade?"
Luna blinked and opened her mouth, "I… uh… don't even remember who drove us here… sorry, I'm getting kinda old. Too much time headbutting fools in the pit."
Lincoln sighed, "She's the one with the Edwin-"
Luna slammed her hands on the table again and gasped at Christina, "Ho. Ly. Toledo. That's straight up bonkers. I heard you switched schools!"
Christina frowned and shook her head, "No, my mom ended up buying a new place. I'm fine with it now, looking back it's kinda cute. I guess it was just creepy since I only ever talked to him, like, once."
Sam took a sip from her drink, "Whew. I'm kinda glad I don't get the context, because that sounds really embarrassing."
"It really is!" Lincoln laughed as he quickly tried to change the subject, "I didn't know that you were such a biiiiiig fan of The Moon Goats."
Christina rolled her eyes, "I mean, yeah, I've been listening to them for a while- but pretty much everyone uses their music to lipsync with on toctik. You pretty much can't be a teenager with a phone and a social life without hearing them."
Sam leaned forward in her chair and adjusted her beanie, "So, you've been listening to us for a while… how do we stack up from when we were younger?"
Luna gripped the table and nodded with a smile, "Yeah! Like, don't be afraid to rip us a new one if you aren't totally digging it."
Christina tried her hardest not to squirm out of excitement and spoke fast, "W-well, in my opinion I think that lately you've been making tracks- I mean really good tracks that are definitely made to be hits. But I always think it's cooler when you guys go out and do crazy stuff. I never skip songs whenever I listen to your albums, but I guess now I do for the really popular ones-" she held up her hands as her voice jumped up an octave, "only because I hear them so often everywhere else and basically know them by heart. You guys are, like, my favorite band!"
Sam and Luna blushed and shook excitedly as they giggled to themselves.
"W-wow!" Sam said, "Thanks, Christina. That really means a lot from someone who has been listening to us since day one…"
"For real!" Luna reached over to quickly shake Christina's hand and then she slammed her hands on the table, "So, you sing? Are you in a band? Are you a cheerleader in a band?!"
Christina shook her head and shot a nasty look at the silent chuckling he was making at her expense, "No- me and my bestie Paige used to want to be pop singers when we were younger, but I guess I kind of got distracted with high school and stuff… we are getting together with Lincoln's friends later on in the week to do karaoke though. It's been a while since I've sung in front of other people…"
Lincoln piped up, "Oh, dude, I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that-"
Christina shook her head, "No, you're good. I figure since it's just friends messing around it won't be that big of a deal."
Luna leaned down to whisper into Lincoln's ear, "Duuuuuude, you gotta. She's a rock and roll cheerleader."
Before he could process that Luna replied to Christina, "Hey, you're going to be graduating soon, right? If you ever want to just mess around with a recording booth just get Lincoln to drag you into our studio! We would love to talk to you, get reacquainted with our teenage angst- I'm halfway worried we're gonna start writing lyrics about waiting in traffic or something with how old we're getting…"
"Luna," Sam shook her head, "we can't just use Lincoln's friends for lyrics inspiration. That'd be unethical, or something."
Lincoln shrugged his shoulders, "I don't see a problem with it, so long as Christina is down. I mean, it's not like we are kids- just make sure to give her a cut of royalties if you use her for lyrics."
"Haha…" Christina laughed, her eyes glazed over, "this is happening really fast! But, uh, I can't promise anything about lyrics, but seeing you guys work would be like a dream come true!"
Lincoln tried to hide a chuckle at Christina acting like a star-struck girl and had to get up to stop laughing, "Hey, I'm gonna grab us another drink. You want a tea?"
"Sure thing, honey," Christina said, not really paying attention, she then caught herself, "Oh- fuck, I mean Lincoln!" she frowned at Lincoln's raised eyebrows, "It's totally your fault for acting like your my boyfriend or something. Here, at least let me pay for my own drinks…"
Lincoln felt like someone punched him in the gut, "Oh, Jesus. You're right. Sorry. That's Chandler's job," he shuddered as he pocketed the five dollar bill from Christina, "I'll get you the birthday cake tea. It's really good, it tastes like birthday cake."
Lincoln and Christina shared a laugh after the moment passed while Sam and Luna exchanged a myriad of facial expressions that indicated that they both thought they were cute together.
Lincoln went up to the counter, "Could I get 2 medium birthday cake teas, please?"
The blonde woman immediately nodded and gave him his change. Lincoln placed his attention towards the projector screen while the three girls started talking.
"Wait," Luna said as she squinted her eyes, "Chandler? You're dating that guy? I remember my little sis Lynn teaching him how to tackle and hut hut or whatever it is they do in American Football. Wasn't he kind of a bully towards Lincoln?"
"Honestly," Christina sighed and shook her head, "no, he was kind of a jerk to everyone back then, even his own friends. I think Lincoln was just really… sensitive back in elementary school. Nowadays he pretty much goes toe-to-toe with Chandler in their weird pissing contests to see who can make the biggest ass out of themselves. In fact, I'm pretty sure Chandler is nicer to Lincoln than most of his actual friends. Not to say that Lincoln doesn't help out Chandler, he just doesn't like to- but he has a problem saying no to people. Chandler only says yes to me, so I think I kind of like that a bit more…"
Lincoln stood there. With nothing else to do he focused in on the movie projected on the screen, trying his hardest to not listen to Christina's words. Some kind of orange ghost-cat that may or may not be a painting was terrifying a unsuspecting Japanese family on the screen, shifting the rooms around and flashing spooky colors all around the old house. The white haired teen had no idea what was going on, seeing as he wasn't privy to the start of the movie.
Luna silently sipped her coffee, "I guess that makes sense," she watched Lincoln as he stared a hole into the wall, as if he was on the other side of the planet, "he was a sensitive kid. He never liked it when people weren't getting along, be it his sisters or his friends. I can see him taking someone as… abrasive as that Chandler dude pretty personally."
Lincoln stood there. A woman was getting eaten alive by a piano, screaming something that he couldn't understand. He could feel his limbs grow heavier by the second as the static in his mind coalesced into something he could actually grasp, something more than what he could possibly carry, but by sheer force of will he was still standing. The woman's head appeared from the inside of the piano, confused by the events unfolding around her.
Sam sighed and glanced at Lincoln before turning her attention back to Christina, "Well, from where I'm sitting I think Lincoln has grown up to be a pretty cool guy. He's reliable, puts the people he cares about first, and always remembers to put the seat down after pissing. Wish I could say the same thing about my little brother."
"Listen," Christina sighed and tapped her fingers on the table, a bit red in the face, "yeah, he's a great guy. But the things that make him great are also the things that kinda… hurt him the most. He'll drop anything to help anyone in front of him, even a guy like Chandler. I think… a lot of people take advantage of him, and maybe I'm one of those people. I kinda feel like he's held back from doing what he wants to do because people keep on wrapping him up in their business. But- I guess I've only really gotten to know him for a couple of days."
Luna sat her coffee down and adjusted her wig, "I think so too. But, I don't think Lincoln even knows what he wants… that's why I sort of butt into his life, to give him, like, different perspectives- but maybe he just needs some time alone. I just love the little dude a lot, so it's hard to keep my distance."
Sam nodded, "Yeah, he's cool. Even when it's the most simplest of things he'll find some way to make it a spectacle."
Christina nodded with a smile, "He loves overcomplicating things. I'm the same exact way, so we sort of bounce off each other like a hall of mirrors. It's probably a good thing that we never hooked up."
Reality came crashing in as the woman was beheaded by the slamming of the piano top shut.
"Two birthday cake teas."
Lincoln stopped slowly stepping towards the screen and turned around to retrieve the drinks with a smile that was met by a turned back. He cleared his throat and made his way back to his seat.
"Hey," Lincoln said to the group as he sat back down and slid a tea to Christina, "You think I can ask the lady to put on the news after the movie is over? I'd check my phone for the weather but Patchy Drizzle has been on a hot streak recently."
Lincoln reached up to turn off his headphones.
"Front and center, we all sit
In a stadium of our own devising
Don't let reputation pre-decive you
It's one on none inside this field house for the brain
Fractured knees, calamities
Enfold me in serenity
And Loud cloud crowds
Are taking over"
Loud Cloud Crowd by Stephen Malkmus
