"No," Rosalie's voice was clear as I walked down the steps of the house. "She shouldn't make decisions like this. She's too young."
"Rose–" Someone tried to stop her, but it was too late.
I hung onto the bannister, and assuming they were talking about me, I said, "well, she's not..." The vampires in the room turned to look at me. Their usual pleasantry or smiles were absent, even Esme's. "What's wrong?"
There was a beat.
Rosalie's eyes flickered to the hallway, where I knew Carlisle's office was located. I followed her eyes, but they darted away. The others were all, still, watching me.
Immediately, I took the last step off the staircase and went directly into the hallway. Carlisle's office door was cracked open, and the conversation inside drifted into the hall. But the voices cut off as soon as I reached the door.
"Saffiya, go back upstairs."
The Cullens seemed to wait with bated breath as I pushed open the door, unsure of what to expect. Alec looked up when I ignored his directive.
"What's going on?" Jasper and Alice stood together, their bodies naturally positioned into the other, both a protective and intimate detail. His hand rested on her lower back, his senses heightened as I entered the room. Edward leaned against the bookshelf, taking me in, almost assessing me. For what, I couldn't be sure.
Carlisle was closest to me, and he pushed off a wooden side table. "Good morning, Saffiya." I raised my eyebrows, finding pleasantries to be a poor attempt to ease the atmosphere. He nodded with a sigh as if he expected me to ignore the societal politeness. "Alice has had a vision–"
In the corner, Alec growled, "do not." He tasted each word, creating them from authority and lacing them with venom. But he did nothing to enforce them.
There seemed to be a collective sigh of frustration among the group. Carlisle placed his hands in his pockets but didn't back off, exchanging glances with his family members. The dynamic in the room was curious, and though concern for Alec's threat was present, Alice tried next despite it.
"It appears that Razin does have a backup plan." A similar sound came from the same area, and Jasper hissed back at him, ready for whatever reaction Alec might decide. The two stared each other down.
Jasper's touch influenced Alice to continue. "I couldn't find Razin blindly. So, I tried to look into the possible futures of other members of the Volturi if you really were to cross paths with his coven." Alice peeked at Alec again. "It was…difficult to sort through until I focused solely on your decisions."
I crossed my arms, worried that I wouldn't understand. "But I'm literally not making any decisions. Especially not ones that affect the Volturi's moves."
"Only you will, sometime in the future, and it may lead you to Alice's vision."
"Saffiya," Carlisle brought me back in a consoling tone. "You are Razin's contingency plan."
Immediately, I turned my head to check in with Alec. He refused to look away from the window. I swallowed my nerves, "I thought I was a part of the first plan?"
Edward confirmed, ironic considering he had been absent from the conversation in which we'd learned this information. "You were, but only to lure and subdue Alec." I nodded, not wanting to ask the obvious question. "He's going after you directly now."
Out of nowhere, a snarl broke the air and echoed throughout the house.
"That's enough." Alec's voice lowered, rougher than before. The finality was unchallengeable. More direct than I'd heard him speak in a while now. This was dangerous, a warning. A promise. I realised then it was not a kind of over-protectiveness of me or a desire for control over the room. It was Alice and her gift that unnerved him. The future and what it possibly held.
"Alec." My voice came out opposite from his, and I had to take a breath before meeting his eyes. Fierce and unafraid to follow through, defining an expression that the Cullens understood to be anger. I almost wished it was, and I did consider leaving it alone, for him. "I need to know."
Alec's eyes became hard, cold, but there was a moment as he looked at me. A promise he'd made. So, he crossed his arms and threw his back against the wall but put up no further argument. He was letting me make my own decision, despite his disapproval.
I turned back to Alice expectantly. "What happens? In your vision?" She glanced to Alec once more to see if he would retaliate yet again. It was a fair consideration. Jasper wasn't even facing the rest of us anymore, prepared for Alec to give up on vocal warnings and follow through with a physical one. But that wouldn't be his first move, not now. He was in a tempestuous frame of mind, sure. But he was in control. Full control. And he needed a distraction.
His eyes moved strategically around the room like he was analyzing the various strategies to determine their likelihood of forcing the conversation to end. Only, after covering each Cullen, his gaze would land in my direction, and he had to start over. Because he could stretch his gift to every single Cullen in the room, but he'd still have to deal with me. Edward caught my eye, but I was more focused on Alice.
However, I think even she was reluctant to share the details with me, "it's of you. And Razin. You're sitting at a table together, and you're in a nightclub."
"On purpose?" She nodded. "What in the world would I be talking to him about – let alone, in a nightclub?"
Alec answered for her. "Your father."
A nonexistent wind barreled into my body, trying to steal any air I could breathe to process this news. Still, I stood firm, trying not to let the hope build up and sneak into my heart. This seemed to surprise the others, and I pushed down my annoyance with this as I struggled to ask the question they knew I would pursue. Alice opted to wait for it. As if she thought I'd change my mind. I cleared my throat.
"Is he alive?"
She tried to help me keep my head together, "not that I know. Razin only had some papers, in a file that he was trying to convince you to take." The delivery system was suspicious on its own.
"Could you tell what was on the papers?" She shook her head, only able to give me that same look of pity.
"The vision was blurry, more so than it usually is for humans."
They allowed the news to sit with me, waiting patiently as I stood with my arms crossed. As if I were strong. I did not feel strong.
Carlisle cleared his throat. "There's more."
"Of course there is," I breathed out, leaning back against the desk behind me and waiting for the presentation. I was grateful at least one of them wanted me to be prepared.
The family began to take some of the heat off of Alice, continuing with her knowledge. "Alice is unable to see your future past that meeting."
I walked through this with matching morbidity. "So, what, you think he's going to meet with me and then kill me immediately after?" I muttered, "talk about mixed messages."
Carlisle managed to transition between my poor use of light humour into a realistic overview of the situation. "I agree that it would be incongruous, which is why we need to consider that this meeting may solely be a ruse." The Cullens said 'we' so easily. They'd put in the time and effort twice now to help us analyze what they could to help us while we were here. I could understand why Aro chose to play chess with his friend.
There was a great difficulty for me to exhibit the fearful emotions they were expecting. It almost felt like I had to deliver on it. To be dramatic and scared, but it all felt like facts. Facts that sucked. But that allowed me to ask bluntly: "Basically, you're saying I might go to this meeting and never walk away from it?"
"Anything could change, so there is no way to know for sure. But there is a chance, yes."
Shrugging, I recrossed my arms to propose the obvious. As if they hadn't already discussed it. "What if I just don't go?"
"It may not be so simple," Jasper finally added. "However, you are human in Alice's vision. Which means you're in more danger than necessary if you do meet with him."
"More than necessary?" I bounced on the soles of my shoes, stopping as I got the gist. Only continuing with half sarcasm, "but if I were to be a vampire, for example–"
"You would certainly have a better chance of," Jasper's natural chime picked up on my casualness. Whether it was falling back into a past mindset or trying to make me feel better, he pulled it off well, "walking away, as you say."
Edward added, "it could also change Razin's decisions. He might decide not to pursue you if you're no longer human."
If he wanted to kill me, I doubted he'd have much of a preference in whether I drank blood or bottled water. It also occurred to me that if Razin never approached me for this meeting, then I would never know what was in that folder. Just like with Zafir, I'd be so close to finding information on my father's last few months. But if Razin changed his mind, this chance would also be snatched from me.
"This is all a bunch of what-ifs." I scowled at the only conclusion. "But you're not making it sound like I have many choices in the matter. Life and death, and all that."This seemed to trigger something in the room – even more, doubt and concern. I was beginning to feel the exasperation I'd seen on their faces upon my arrival, and Alec took advantage of the poor timing.
"Go on," His voice was bitter, spiteful as he turned to watch them with what might have come off as sadistic intent. While it was far from aimed at me, it hurt. His glare hardened, "tell her."
Carlisle sighed, reluctant to discuss the last part of this saga as I looked at him. "We should still factor in the actual transformation process."
My eyes flickered to Edward, and I'm sure Jasper picked up on the quick shot of adrenaline the sentence caused. I tried to focus intently on Carlisle's words and not my own thoughts, hoping the men would pass it off as fear. I didn't check.
"I've done a great deal of research on the subject since our first meeting. Unfortunately, it seems our original hypothesis may be –"
I finished for him, "the most likely scenario."
He nodded solemnly.
"So, I can die now or –in how long, Alice?"
Her face was crushed. "5, maybe 7 months."
"Awesome. Can't wait." I fell back on the desk, leaning up to memorize the ceiling when he spoke up, in his habit of trying to claim power only he knew he did not hold.
"You won't be going to any meeting," Alec stated as if it were obvious. And probably one of the reasons for his actions in the conversation. Though none of the Cullens seemed surprised by his declaration, they were less than pleased about either the delivery or the order itself. "Immortal or not, you'll stay in Volterra."
I frowned. If he had said it any other way, it probably would've been a mere, positive comment. But, he'd presented it as a challenge, and before I knew it, "I doubt you'll be the one making that decision."
"Watch me."
"We'll give you two a minute," one of the Cullens offered, and the siblings shuffled out to let us work it out – apparently. Only, before Carlisle left, Alec denied the opportunity for us both.
"No." He didn't have anything else to offer, simply leaving his corner and brushing past me with the words, "I must inform the Masters."
Alec walked off, my eyes trailing after him as he did. Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder as if to promise it would all be okay. But I couldn't help thinking there was a reason he didn't make the promise verbally.
I heard Edward in the other room, "Rose, you should take Saffiya for a walk." I moved in slow motion, and Rosalie was already waiting by the time I turned around.
She led me in the opposite direction on the beach than Alec and I had gone on the first day. The water and the sights held much less appeal for me today. They felt grey. Or maybe it was me that felt like paint in a can, the switch on a used lamp, hidden under a lampshade lovingly coated with dust. The irony of a map of the world being stuck on a wall. The stray piece of snow that lands on a statue in the centre of a snowglobe. A globe from fifty years ago telling time better than a clock. The chime of bells just out of sight. The singing of morning birds on the days you wished they would fly away. The one day they listened.
I asked the obvious. "You know, then?"
"Alice got the vision while you two were," she chose her words smugly but with good intentions, "sorting out your issues. Her vision was the reason we called Alec down."
"Great timing for me," I commented seriously.
I could feel her eyes on me. "They haven't stopped talking about it since."
"Was he that moody all night?"
She answered my questions, but I don't think she really cared to be talking about Alec. I still asked. I wanted to know, as selfish as it was. "Mostly, he was defensive. It took Carlisle and Edward a while to convince him we really do want the best for you, despite our brief time together."
"That was kind of them," I acknowledged. "I feel the need to apologize for him–"
"Actually, he did it himself. To Emmett as well." She smirked at my stunned reaction. "Reluctantly and through his teeth, but it was more than any of us ever would have expected."
I laughed as well. "I wish I could've seen that." Which was probably why he did it when I wasn't around. Half worried I'd tell the others, Jane at the very least, and ruin his reputation while we teased him to all hell. It was always fun to mess with Felix and Demetri, but it was rare to catch something that would be the equivalent sentiment for Alec. Some were better between just me and the twins, but every now and then–
"Rosalie?" She hummed to show she was listening. "What did you mean? When you said I'm not one of them?"
"I'm guessing you have something specific in mind?"
"Alec told you about Travis, on the train?"
She shifted her hair behind her ear, adding,"and how you met him." My lips parted. I didn't expect him to share that history. I didn't feel like figuring out which details she knew and which she didn't, so I stuck with the basics.
"Then you probably know that instead of letting the twins kill him, I suggested something possibly worse, to keep him alive." She nodded to confirm but didn't look at me, so I followed the sand in front of us. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. About what I did to him." Rosalie's face grew very dark, and I paused, but she didn't tell me to stop. "Travis became a vampire because of me."
She was somehow able to put it very simply, "yes, and then he tried to kill you." As if I didn't recognize the dark side of him.
I rubbed my hand over my face. "I thought saving his life was worth destroying it. But it's why he hated me, it's why Vladimir turned him, and none of it would've happened if I'd let them kill him the first time."
I think Rosalie tried to clarify my rambling for both her and me. "Are you asking me to justify his actions or yours?" Her voice was straight, but her bias lined the structure of the question.
"You said I'm not one of them – the Volturi. But I will be – maybe even sooner than I thought. Alec and Jane wouldn't understand, and before it happens, I need to know–" God, what was I even saying. Rosalie was still listening. I hoped that was a good sign.
"Your entire family has dedicated your futures as immortals to preserving human life. You understand the morals and ethics of humanity better than the twins do right now." I stopped walking, getting to my point before I started rambling even more. "If I could do what I did to Travis as a human. What the hell else willI be capable of as a vampire?"
Rosalie frowned, and I got the impression that she was more than willing to answer the question. "Truthfully? Nothing good." Her bluntness was almost comforting but not enough to circumvent the disconcerting nature of the question. "But, not all bad. If you decide to stay with–" She seemed to catch herself, solemnly and defiantly, but before I could ask where she was going, she changed the course of her answer.
"Start with Travis." She could see my confusion, and she continued to spell it out for me, her eyes flickering up to observe the shoreline of the beach. "Think about the part you played. Find a way to rationalize it, and then forgive yourself." Her eyes returned to me sharply with a dramatic flair. "And maybe it'll remind you what it's like to be human when you're everything but."
I closed my eyes for a minute, not sure if I should even start to try processing my emotions or my thoughts and which one to listen to first. Before they both broke like a dam and swallowed me whole. "For the rest of my life."
"Speaking of forever," she cast out after my solemn tune. I turned around to see Alec approaching us. He cut down the distance with his speed once I saw him.
"Saffiya." Rosalie's face shifted into one of distaste, and I refrained from laughing at the dramatics mostly because I was feeling a similar way about him at the moment. And yet, his voice saying my name still stirred the butterflies in my chest.
I acknowledged him wordlessly.
He extended his phone to me, a flash of green indicating an active call. "Jane wishes to speak with you."
I took it carefully, almost nervous to touch him when he was upset with me, and I with him, but wanting nothing more than to do so. Rosalie sent a glare at Alec, which was returned in kind, and made herself scarce. Though she smiled softly at me before really was quite beautiful.
"Hello, Jane." I greeted her, trying not to take in Alec's posture as I did. I wanted to know everything he was thinking, so I took a few steps away from him to make it a little easier not to hypothesize.
Jane did not return my greeting with the same enthusiasm or any enthusiasm at all for that honeyed voice was light but almost brittle at the ends of her words. I worried but shoved the sensitivity aside. Unconsciously, I straightened my posture, the muscles in my face relaxed as I listened to her.
"Is my brother still there?"
I nodded, forgetting I was on the phone as I caught a glimpse of him in the corner of my eye. A glance that turned into a reconnaissance mission. He was eyeing me with a level of admiration, heavily surrounded by a misguided vexation. It was likely something much simpler, rather than my imagination conjuring entire narratives behind his eyes. "Yes, he is."
"Send him away."
Assuming she'd explain why she made such a request, I tilted my head towards the house, "you heard her." Thin lines appeared on his forehead and his fists clenched, but he turned around to stalk off. "No eavesdropping," I added. He didn't acknowledge me, but I knew he would respect the request. Even if it pissed him off. "Okay, he's gone." As gone as any of them would be, considering our protective detail who, from what I could tell, was likely out of hearing distance.
"Go for a walk." I obeyed, walking in the opposite direction but still complaining about it.
"What? Jane, he's not–"
"Saffiya, one day soon, you will bear the Volturi's name." She stopped, but I don't think it was for dramatic effect. "Now, you must earn it; You've been given your first directive from the Masters."
I turned around to see Alec had stopped in his tracks, and he was almost…frightened, a protective dominance brimming underneath. The mention of his Masters was the only thing holding him back from taking the phone from my hands and demanding to know what Jane was meant to say.
But he was a good soldier, so he walked away.
"Tell me."
~•~•~•~
I lied... This is not the last chapter of Part 1. -
