Paranoia is a symptom of guilt.

My actions over the course of the last few months had unarguably left a trail of consequences for others or at least instigated the circumstances for them.

Taking advantage of Prosper's kindness to attempt my first escape.

Guaranteeing the bloodless end of Victor Tima.

Antagonizing Libby and her mate, Issa, just for my entertainment.

Travis.

I had hardly done anything on purpose. Each of these events had a 'but'. Some sort of extenuating circumstance, and if I stepped away and thought about it…and I mean, really thought about it without my emotions to influence the process; I could see that nothing about any of those situations was black and white. At least, not so simply broken down as I had been recalling them. I was taking on more than I was responsible for.

Guilt stemmed from the bonds I'd created while I'd been here. It wasn't just Alec I had attempted to escape from, but my friends as well. But then there was that word again. Escape. It could have been my rebellious nature revolting against the literally dozens of commands I'd been given in my relatively short time with the Volturi. It might be as simple as not being told I couldn't leave and choosing to stay. I had no real desire to truly leave Volterra, nor those I'd come to know inside the city.

I could have handled this most recent situation better, no doubt. I was attempting to do something of my own free will. Free will that I no longer had. I do not deny that I had been reckless. At the time, I would have swallowed the blame and let it consume me. But was I entirely in the wrong?

No. Not completely. And yet my organs weighed me down as if they were collapsing in on themselves.

Felix had shushed me when I tried to talk to him.

He and Demetri were deep in conversation immediately after this. A conversation that was exceptionally involved, evidenced by the rapid movement of their mouths and the hand gestures they communicated with. I couldn't help but feel as though they'd only started the conversation to keep me out of it. But then, I was projecting once more. The air around us floated on a cloud of tension and I expected at least a playful wink from one of them to break it. It never came.

Jane observed them with distaste. Her doll-like features and stony posture solidified the official manner with which she identified. Occasionally she would switch her focus to different sections of marble and stone with a dulled stare. But never towards me. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing.

Not long after Alec had entered the throne room for a private meeting with the masters, other guard members started to arrive. The first few were thrown off, even alarmed by our loitering activity, but I could practically see a light bulb flick on when they saw me. Their eyes would scan over my companions, and the absence of one specific member of our group would dawn on them. After the fourth guard, the news seemed to have spread, and the rest were far more discreet as they joined the gallery.

Then again, perhaps I was being conceited. They did, after all, have a potential war on their hands. I was sure most of them still considered me to be the human nuisance flooding the castle with the scent of blood 24/7. Considering I was no longer allowed to leave. Not that I ever was, but this time was a little more definitive.

The first arrival of their lessers prompted the high guard to reposition themselves around me to serve as a better-equipped protective shield. Yet still, I received no acknowledgement or even the briefest of eye contact until absolutely necessary.

Jane elbowed me to get my attention. "Not a word. Understood?" I nodded, her biting tone unnerving me into submission. Which was undoubtedly her goal, as, on cue, the doors creaked as they were pushed open and one of the lower guard members rushed forward to catch it - Terren. Terren held it open for the younger twin to exit. His presence corresponded with a release of tension in my shoulders, and I breathed out as quietly as I could. The stoic expression on Alec's face kept the other guards away until he was clear of the doors, and then they all flooded inside.

The ceremonial doors shut behind them with a solid thud, like the fall of the last oak tree onto bare ground.

"So?"

Alec sent a dark glare to Felix, who raised his hands in defence.

"We report. As usual."

"Do not ask stupid questions, Felix," Jane added to her twin's unmistakable sass with her own mean girl style. "It's annoying."

They began to move into a formation. One I had seen before, like a square that narrowed on the twins, front and centre. I stood off to the side observing before Alec reached out to manoeuver me into whatever position they wanted me to stand in. Recalling his harsher words before he'd left us, I shifted back and away from his touch, earning a predictably frustrated expression.

Unfortunately for me, patience was not Jane's strongest suit either so I was subsequently placed in the middle of their odd formation and told once more, "do not speak."

My humanity was not meant for this type of presentation, for the perfection and elegance of the vampires around me. I had the posture and appearance to match Jane as best as possible. To check, Jane placed three fingers along my spine and nodded to her brother when she'd decided I was ready. The touch flashed a memory past my eyes, and I squirmed only a little at the touch. If she noticed, Jane didn't acknowledge it.

We had yet to actually discuss any of the formality that was expected from me in these meetings. Not officially. So, having succeeded so far, this time I relied on sound. Light steps, like a ballet. Deliberate movements and the ruffle of cloth on cloth as my wrist brushed the side of my hip.

There was no sound when we entered. No background track or whispers of the lower guard to enter to. It was silent and impatient, and the instant we walked through the doors, my nerves lit up with the distress that seemed to line the faces of every guard member. Even if none of them dared to fully meet my eyes, too afraid of catching the unforgiving attention of only one member of the High Guard. Walking into the throne room felt casual, but from the outside, I was certain it was anything but. I had seen their majesty in this very scenario and I could only wonder how my humanity changed that.

Upon seeing us, Aro rose from his throne, a delighted smile already prepared on his face. Caius had straightened, leaving Marcus to follow us with only his head. Routine, and yet there was something else. As if they were looking for something.

Did my humanity change anything? Or was I only holding myself in higher esteem, once again?

"Saffiya," each syllable was like burning liquid gold on his tongue, "our clever little runaway. What a lovely surprise!" Aro cheered in his usual way, though I doubted my appearance was anything near a surprise. Say what you will about the guy, but his manners were spot on. If a little medieval.

The four stopped in near unison and I might have fallen out of line had Demetri not caught my arm and guided me behind Alec and towards the twins' assigned post on the Kings' lefthand sides. Demetri pressed a silencing finger to his lips out of sight from the Masters, emphasizing Jane's directions, before rejoining his companions. I could do that.

"Whatever shall we do with you?"

"Aro," Marcus interrupted and the other man pouted, but refocused on his premier guards.

Aro concluded, "always a pleasure to have you with us, dear one. You have a great deal to learn."

The white haired ruler turned his head with an exasperated sigh, "so long as she knows her place." I knew they would be keeping a close eye on me, so I metaphorically bit my tongue and physically kept my mouth shut. After the last few days we'd had, Caius seemed pleased with this.

The momentary excitement my presence caused dissipated as the room turned their attention to the elite four.

Caius asked first, "what of our adversary?"

It was Jane who spoke for the group, "we confirm. There is no indication that Razin and his newborn army are active. They appear to have discovered a way to evade our reach." When she received no response, she continued regrettably, "the mission was…" and with a millisecond of hesitation, "unsuccessful."

Aro's mouthy grin had fallen with her first words. The hard faces of the three men were distinct, overshadowing, and cast a shadow of uneasiness throughout the throne room.

"It seems that Alice Cullen's vision remains our sole reliable source." Even from my distance, I could clearly see something flash across Jane's eyes before she corrected herself. Whether it was jealousy or hurt she had tried to hide, her Master's intention to provoke his ward rang clear throughout the room.

It felt wrong to try and ascertain any more emotion that might slip onto her face and I allowed my attention to wander. I rested, predictably, on Alec.

"A most inconvenient fortune," Caius reflected with an adenoidal complexion to his tone."It will not be enough."

Marcus' voice was a groan on its own, deep but almost like the croak of a soprano. A frog on the side of an empty pond and a sky without stars. No…it was a grandfather clock at the end of a long, empty corridor. Waiting monotonously through the tick tick of each long hour as they became nights into weeks into an endless loop of patience. And the loneliness underlying the threat was penetratingly sullen, though he seemed to be almost comforting his audience, "they cannot hide forever."

"No," Caius agreed viciously. "And they will burn!" He slammed his fist on the arm of his chair in refined frustration. Actually, it was more of a sharp rapt. But from the corner of my eye, the movement sent my imagination and my heart racing.

I jumped at the sound. The tap, that I had unreasonably expected to splinter the throne into tiny individual pieces with exaggerated violence. My eyes widened and I tightened my muscles, unfamiliar with the reaction. I had been struck with an alarming amount of panic because of an active imagination. Only, I couldn't identify exactly what I'd imagined.

I was not the only one that noticed. "Calm yourself, Brother." The peace in his tone could only be matched with his offensive curiosity and it read all over his face. I met his eyes and we seemed to be engaged in some kind of silent conversation, but it was one I was absent for. He brushed over my silly human behaviour, once again to return to his guards. "It seems you'll frighten our dear human."

I closed my eyes, willing my heart to slow down. I received a perplexed look from Prosper, who stood directly across the room, observing my uncharacteristic response and recovery from some fearful stimuli. I avoided his gaze, glimpsing an abruptly tense but seemingly unperturbed Alec. I had no answer for Prosper's worried stare as Caius slowly sunk back into a lazy posture.

"A failure," Aro agreed with Jane. "But informative, no less. Unfortunate, however, that in your haste to return–"

Alec stepped forward without prompting, already anticipating Aro's direction and taking the brunt of the attention off his sister. "I would like to take Prosper and Santiago, Demetri as well, to preserve the integrity of the mission."

Aro's grin only grew at his beloved protegé. "Of course, my dear boy." Aro's eyes glistened as he purposefully looked at me while he granted Alec's offer. There was something strategic in leaving his sister behind and replacing Felix with an understudy. Possibly to leave behind trusted allies that could keep an eye on me in his absence. It was definitely something Alec would do.

"If I may–" the boy started again, but Aro was already asking for his hand. He stepped forward and the man closed his eyes, drinking in his ward's thoughts. Seeing the last three weeks since we'd returned, the arguments, the calls he'd received, deciding to return to Volterra for me, and whatever Alec was now asking of him now. Something he had not asked in the privacy of their meeting not half an hour earlier. And if this was new, then what had they been discussing with such formal secrecy?

Aro opened his eyes and nodded, granting Alec's second request. He returned to his throne as Alec acknowledged Felix and Demetri. Both men swept into a graceful bow, Demetri finally sending me a wink before they parted.

Jane and Alec joined me, their faces stone.

"This development does leave our little Saffiya as human for a while longer." I fought the urge to gag sarcastically. He would never let an opportunity slip to bring up the topic.

The Masters believed that keeping me human supposedly gave us more control over the inevitable than if they were to attempt changing me now. With my humanity intact, we knew what the future held. However, if I became a vampire, the future was once again subject to impromptu dangers and we would be as blind as we had been before. Alice's vision could be useless and it had been almost impossible for her to find any trace of a future with Razin through anyone else. Not to mention the Kings were far from pleased with Vladimir's poorly coordinated attack, and to be blindsided and unaware of the other Romanian's activities.

Jane's discovery of my psychosomatic reaction to her gift made the situation particularly complicated. Not just regarding their fight against the Resistance, but within their own walls. We had been forbidden, and warned, not to inform Alec of the development. 'For his own good,' Aro had said and Alec hadn't asked, but he knew enough to be concerned. It had hardly been a month and I wondered how long we would actually be able to keep this kind of secret from him. Aro had never asked Jane to do something without her twin in their immortal lives, and still, with some sadness, she kept faith in her masters to guide us through their plan.

Additionally, the Masters had instructed us to schedule private sessions for 'practice' with Jane's gift. We had yet to start and neither of us was eager to play pretend.

I looked to Jane, who had brains enough not to do the same.

I took a breath.

I'd been desperate to attend these meetings since I started getting ditched for them in my first week with the Volturi. Now that I was here, however, I could understand why everyone insisted I should think otherwise. They spoke faster than I could process and what I did manage to catch was plain words characteristic of a business meeting. One that I was not included in, not that they cared.

Truthfully, once I'd come to the conclusion on the dreariness of their topics, I absentmindedly began to examine the faces in the room – those that I could see. The only notable aspect was the lack of Heidi's presence. She was usually absent the few days before she brought in the tourists and I suppose it was about that time. As amazing as the Volturi's castle was, it wouldn't be my preferred place to tour right before being eaten by vampires. So, it should be no surprise that the marble and stone in the grand ballroom held my interest for less than a few minutes.

However, this level of interest may have been impacted by my attention being swallowed up by Alec.

For possibly the first time (I'd never thought to compare much before) he was significantly more upset with me than I was with him. But his focus on controlling his stronger emotions almost made me reconsider my evaluation. He'd progressed immensely since the start of our torrid acquaintanceship.I could almost be convinced that he wasn't as upset about me running from the castle as I was preparing myself for.

I believed myself to be prepared for the fallout from my attempted escape, whereas he was caught entirely unaware of the event from the beginning. Yet another element of my runaway plans I had failed to think through with a non-analytic mindset.

My guilt was warranted in this case, and quite possibly, not strong enough to equate with the affair. But I struggled to distinguish between understanding how I'd hurt him and not only acknowledging but learning to value my own perspective. It was easier to ignore the latter and succumb to moving past the trouble. But that was clearly not working. Because we kept coming back to this situation. This seemingly inevitable battle of unwinnable proportion.

My nose itched and Alec's head turned towards me, so I turned immediately towards the Kings. Marcus' eyes were already directly on me. I blinked myself back into focus, trying to remember what they'd been saying.

Aro was asking for my hand.

I didn't check in with the twins, knowing Caius would get off on this. Aro didn't have much to catch up on. The last two times I'd tried to leave, the guards had brought me promptly to their leaders. The first lecture pissed me off enough that I tried again not two hours later. I was made to sit in the throne room with them and was given only a stack of my Italian children's books until Caius grew tired of my breathing. They put two guards on me at first, but I was swiftly 'locked' in the twins' quarters not long after. Until I tried again to escape – and succeeded, aware enough to avoid any unnecessary casualties this time.

Prosper had been too busy guarding the kings with a few of the others– a major upgrade for him apparently. But none of the random guards assigned to me wanted to talk, for fear of Alec and his history with Prosper. Apparently, many had been witness to the infamous attack, which I highly doubted I would ever move past.

I was no stranger to the impact of my inconsiderate use of Prosper on my first day. I'd been careful to time this new first attempt without any fallback for anyone but the receptionist – who was the one who ratted me out anyways. The second time, I knew I'd hardly make it past the doorstep. Frankly making it an easy win for the two that were watching me at the time. That attempt was more for a childish rebellion in an attempt to make a point. I was extraordinarily fortunate that the Masters found it somewhat amusing as I'd been so embarrassingly unsuccessful or, in Caius' case, an excuse to rant about the Cullens' recent influence on my behaviour.

Any conclusion Aro might have come to after considering my thoughts was interrupted by a consuming pause. Goosebumps visibly appeared on my arm. I frowned as the heads in the room lifted with the careful accuracy of a praying mantis and not unlike a wildcat as it stalks through sunburned grass as they moved towards the main doors.

Quite suddenly, Alec collected me from Aro. He moved deliberately, almost discreetly as he lifted me into his arms and used the smaller doors behind the thrones to slip from the ballroom. Once we'd passed through the doors, he wasted no time returning me to his and Jane's quarters. But by the time he set me down, his eyes had given in to a glassy noir.

"Lock this," Alec said gruffly and I nodded obediently, but he didn't leave until he heard me do so. As if a lock would make a difference. Normally, they'd have a guard or three feed before the others and keep watch over me during mealtimes, just in case. My…field trip must have thrown off the scheduled preparation.

And if I listened hard enough, I could hear the screams of their victims. And I wondered if I would scream as well when their teeth broke my skin and sent me to hell.

~•~•~•~

A/N: Hello to all new readers, re-readers, older readers, and those whose usernames are quite familiar.

I suck, I know. I need to write faster cause I see y'all in the comments and you're getting too smart. Reflecting and discussing (yes discussing) characters. Keep those ideas open ;)

This chapter wasn't as Alec and Saffiya centered - for good reason. But there's definitely something a little off. What do you think is going through his mind right now?

Love and all,

Ro