Alice

3 days had passed and Rosalie had been quite quiet throughout. Her walking had improved massively as she was so determined but she was still quite shaky and unsteady on her feet. Her speech was still delayed and the involuntary movement of her arm hadn't gone away. I was starting to think that those two things were permanent damage from what she'd been through. Carlisle was going to book her in for tests at the hospital when she was feeling more up to it, but at the moment she was spending most of the days sleeping or lying-in bed.

Edward was keeping a close eye on her thoughts because she wasn't actually talking that much and Jasper was always aware of her emotions.

Edward had said that Rosalie was mostly confused in her thoughts. She was trying to figure out how she'd gotten so unwell so quickly and she definitely wasn't her old self. She was always torn between admitting she was sick and then trying to think of ways to lose more weight. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for Edward to hear her thoughts and I knew Jasper was struggling with feeling all her emotions too.

I helped her sit down in the garden on the bench after carrying her down the stairs. She'd been insistent on walking from the porch to the garden, but I had made sure to take most of her weight as we walked.

Emmett was at the back of the garden playing football with Jasper. Edward and Carlisle were now sat on the porch not too far away from us and Esme was tending to the flowers. Edward should have been with Bella and Renesmee but he didn't want to leave in case Carlisle needed him again and it was also helpful to have an insight into Rosalie's thoughts when she wasn't really talking much. It seemed talking was quite hard for her as her brain was struggling to match her thoughts to her voice which was ultimately causing the delay in her words.

"Carlisle, I'm not really sure if this a worry or not but seeing things from Rosalie's thoughts have been blurry. I've caught her thinking about it a few times and it's like there is something wrong with her vision. I wasn't thinking much of it at first as I know she's been quite disorientated but what she's seeing today is mostly black. I thought she was shielding her thoughts again but then I realized the darkness was her vision as I could see flickers of movement and light when things were in front of her. Like now, she's looking across the garden and there are flickers of light as Jasper and Emmett are moving but there's just so much darkness."

I swallowed deeply although it was unnecessary for me. I held my hand out to Rosalie as I sat next to her on the bench but she didn't move. Her eyes were staring straight ahead where Jasper and Emmett were and my heart sank as I realized she likely hadn't seen my hand at the corner of her vision.

Carlisle got up and came to stand in front of Rosalie. She slowly moved her eyes to focus on Carlisle. She was looking through him again, like she had done since she'd woken up but I'd just put it down to her being disorientated. Surely she would have said something if her vision had been like this for five days?

"Rosalie, I need you to be honest with me." Carlisle said. "Can you see okay?"

Rosalie closed her eyes briefly for a second and then shook her head 'no'. A tear started to well in her eye but she moved to wipe it away.

Edward had retrieved Carlisle's bag and he handed it to him quietly. "I'm going to test a few things," Carlisle said as he pulled out his penlight. He shone the light repeatedly in and out of Rosalie's eyes and then asked her some questions related to what she could see.

Carlisle pondered for a few moments before sitting down on the grass in front of Rosalie. "I'm pretty sure we're dealing with cortical blindness. Response to light is intact. It can present a couple of days after hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy following a cardiac arrest, even in patients without apparent neurological sequelae, but it's usually immediately following someone regaining consciousness. It's likely due to delayed effects of anoxia on the occipital cortex, but prognosis for visual recovery is good."

I had no idea what Carlisle was on about, but it did appear that this vision loss was temporary. That was a relief at least.

"I don't know how long it'll take," He continued. "But most with the condition will recover all or most of their vision."

Rosalie let out a shaky sigh and felt along the bench next to her until she made contact with my leg.

I took her hand slowly to not make her jump and gave it a gentle squeeze. She would be okay. She was so strong and she had all of us to support her.

Emmett was listening and watching everything from across the garden but was keeping his distance because he knew Rosalie needed me and Esme more at the moment, and it was safer for him not to be too close when he wasn't full and his emotions were all over the place.

I pulled Rosalie into my side as sobs started to take over her body. Esme came and sat down next to us and put her hand on Rosalie's leg. "I just…wanted…to be…thin." Rosalie murmured against my shirt. The words were barely audible but we'd all heard them. "I don't…want…to be…sick…anymore."

I pulled her a little closer to me in the hope that it would comfort her. I didn't know what to say, but I wanted her to know we were here.

"Her emotions are crazy right now." Jasper muttered as though he was in pain. "She's hurting. She feels guilty, sick, anxious. She's tired."

Edward nodded and dropped his voice before speaking. "She's realizing how sick she is and what has happened to her. She's coming to terms with the fact she has an eating disorder and she just wants to be well."

Rosalie started to shake next to me and I noticed her breathing speed up. Her stomach was quickly moving in and out and her hands reached for the tubes in her nose. I pushed them away gently.

"Panic attack." Carlisle said sympathetically from where he was on the grass. He pulled Rosalie so she was sitting upright and took her clenched hands in his, smoothing them out. "Focus on your breathing Rosalie."

I ran my hand up and down her back in a repetitive motion in the hope that it would calm her. "Deep breaths, in and out." I started to breathe to see if she would match pace with me and slow her breathing.

I could feel Jasper trying to radiate a sense of calmness our way.

I started to sing to Rosalie softly. I'd been playing songs for her over the last few weeks that were positive and uplifting to see if they'd help her, and the words to one song came flooding back to me in this moment. "It hurts but in time, I know we will recover. Everybody's got a reason to cry and everybody fights, but not everybody survives. Everybody's searching, but not everybody finds. I'm still in recovery, and I'll make it alive. We will recover, the worst is behind. It hurts but in time, I know that we will recover. The worst is over, now. All those fires we've been walking through, and still we survive, somehow. It hurts, but in time, I know that we will recover."

Rosalie's breathing began to slow as I sang and her shaking started to ease. She let go of Carlisle's hands and felt for mine. I pulled her into my arms so she was sitting on my lap facing Esme. "Everything is going to be okay, Rose. I know it will be. You're going to be absolutely fine. Your future looks so bright." I was lying. I couldn't see Rosalie's current future. It hadn't been decided as of yet but I did know that she would be absolutely fine with us all around her.

My words seemed to reassure Rosalie because she started to relax in my arms. Her breathing evened out and she fell asleep.

Whilst she was sleeping, I encouraged Jasper to take Emmett hunting.

Emmett refused to go too far away from the house but reluctantly agreed that he did need to feed again.

Rosalie would need him more than ever now.