Tainted Reality
"You know, I never thought that you'd be the type to marry right out of school, James. Actually, I never really pictured you as the type to settle down at all…" Sirius Black was saying, while clapping his best friend James on the back.
"Well Sirius, what can I say? Some things are just fate." James Potter replied, his eyes shining with mischief and a self-satisfied grin on his face.
Peter Pettigrew, who looked scrawny and homely standing next to a smirking James, leaned towards the group and muttered something. James burst out laughing. "What happened at the Stag party should very well stay there. I mean it guys, this is my wedding. Now, I want you all to promise that the ceremony will go on without a hitch, alright? No funny business from you guys." Despite his words, James still wore an expression of amusement. Nevertheless, Remus, Peter and Sirius were quick to assure James that they would be on their best behavior.
From his place behind the oak tree filled with fairies, Severus Snape turned away from James Potter's smug face in disgust. Amidst all of Severus's questionable life decisions, crashing the wedding of his childhood bully and his estranged best friend was definitely one of his more foolish ideas. He was on the verge of sneaking past the group of giggling bridesmaids on his left and apparating, but before he could a magically magnified voice rang out through the crowd. "I ask that all of our guests please be seated. The ceremony will begin in five minutes."
The mingling guests began to make their way towards the chairs lined up in front of the arch adorned daylilies, baby's breath and yellow roses. Severus was forced to follow, lest he be discovered. He reluctantly sat near the back behind a group of boys who he dimly remembered from school. He was fairly certain that at least four of them had been on the Gryffindor quidditch team. The Potter's large backyard was packed with guests, and so Severus didn't particularly stand out.
Severus watched as two fairies chased each other through the branches of the tree that he had previously been standing by. It was an overcast afternoon, and the fairies glowed brightly in the foliage. Silver and white ribbons had been strung between the branches of the trees, and small flower arrangements in mismatched ceramic vases lined the aisle leading to the arch. For all that Severus knew about weddings, he had to admit that this one seemed pretty much perfect. His presence was the only thing tainting the quaint backyard wedding.
Suddenly, the band to the right of the flowered arch began to play, and everyone fell silent. The cello sounded mournful to Severus, and in his mind the song would have been better suited to a funeral than a wedding.
The wedding party filed in, and Severus noted that Petunia Evans was notably absent from the group of bridesmaids in cream-coloured bridesmaid dresses. A young flower girl with dark hair and a basket of rose petals followed the groomsmen and bridesmaids, and then the bride appeared from behind the corner of the Potter's stately home.
As Lily Evans approached, there was a collective intake of breath. One of the guests loudly whispered "She looks so beautiful," which mirrored Severus's thoughts exactly.
Lily seemed to float down the aisle in a floor-length gown made out of tulle. The white material made her red hair look fierier than ever. Her hair was adorned with a crown made of baby's breath, and her emerald eyes sparkled. She was a truly radiant bride.
When the ceremony began, it was almost too much for Severus to take. However, he couldn't look away. It was like watching a burning building and not being able to do anything about it. The alluring and crackling flames made it impossible to look away, even as everything came crashing down.
Severus truly didn't know why he had come…to torture himself?...To stop the wedding? Ha, as if he could. Even if he was caught gatecrashing, all that would happen is that he would get thrown out. As Lily and James exchanged vows, Severus found himself wishing that he had never overheard those witches in Diagon Alley discussing the date and place of the wedding.
Lily and James had each written their own wedding vows, and after the officiant said some words, they read them out loud to each other. During James' speech Peter guffawed loudly. James, along with some others in the room, shot Peter dirty looks. "Sorry, sorry…" he said meekly, but Sirius and Remus were now chuckling at Peter's embarrassment, causing James to start grinning a little as well.
Lily smiled, a little tensely. "You were saying, James?"
James cleared his throat and started reading again "There's never been anyone else for me. I've loved you since the day I met you Lily, and I am eternally happy that-"
"You already said that part." Sirius mumbled, nudging James. James, who for some reason found this funny, chuckled once before continuing.
"Many apologies everyone," James addressed the guests before going back to his vows. Lily smiled throughout the whole thing, but it was clear that she was not overjoyed with the marauder's shenanigans.
Severus forgot himself for a moment and got lost in a daydream where he was the one Lily was walking down the aisle towards. In a world where he had made far less mistakes, and where he had never called Lily "mudblood."
When the preacher said "Speak now or forever hold your peace," there was silence. Then Severus abruptly stood. Lily gasped, along with several others, and everyone turned to look at him, horrified. James however, still wore a look of amusement.
"I-I know that I have no right to say this, but I think you're making a huge mistake…You may think that Potter has changed or grown up, but he's the same boy who bullied us both, among others. He's an arrogant douchebag and you deserve better. I know that my opinion means less than nothing to you, but please consider what I'm saying. It's true, and you know it. Don't settle for him." Severus looked directly into Lily's eyes as he spoke, the words pouring out. Everyone was looking rapidly back and forth between the two, but Severus was oblivious to anyone but Lily.
"It's true, your opinion means nothing to me, you had no right to come here, or say any of those things." Lily replied scathingly.
"Fine…chose to ignore me…Either way, I had to say what I said because I-I love you Lily. I am so, so sorry for what I said to you that day, and I regret every decision in my life that has led up to you hating me. But not even your hatred can change the fact that I love you… I've loved you since I met you, and I always will." Severus continued, looking steadily at Lily.
Lily blinked rapidly a couple of times, and it was clear from her face that she was taking Severus's words to heart. "I admire your bravery for saying all that…I never knew that you felt that way…." She began, taking a few steps forward.
"Stop listening to that loathsome excuse for a human being! Let's just get on with the wedding!" James said loudly, trying to force Lily back towards him.
"No! You know what, James!? Maybe Severus was right about you after all!" Lily said, shoving James.
Lily ran towards Severus, and it was like a scene from a movie. Time seemed to stand still. Her flaming hair streamed behind her, and her dress whipped around her in the wind.
"Severus. It's like I was in a dream…and it was a wonderful dream, but now I've woken up and I see things for how they really are. I have to thank you for that. Thank you for waking me from my dream, thank you for saying something." Lily declared softly, because even though there were many spectators, she was speaking only to Severus. Then she kissed him passionately…and Severus was infinitely happy….in his head.
"Then I declare you bonded for life!" The officiant announced, and everyone applauded as Lily and James kissed. Severus was instantly jolted from his fantasy. When the newly wedded couple finally pulled apart, Lily was gazing at James happily, any trace of her earlier annoyance gone.
Severus felt as though someone was driving a nail into his chest. He had sat by and done nothing, while the only person he truly cared about, and possibly the only person who had once cared about him, married his worst enemy. It was hard to believe that the crushing pain he felt wasn't physical. At that moment, Severus could not imagine ever feeling worse.
As everyone rushed to congratulate Lily and James, Severus slipped away to the side of the house and apparated. By the time he got home, he only felt drained and empty. If only wishing was enough to make another reality, any other. Severus desperately wished for a reality where he was a better person, and had not made all the wrong choices. One where he had a purpose. "It was definitely a mistake, going to the wedding," Severus thought. Unfortunately, it would not be Severus Snape's last mistake. He was stuck here, in this lifetime, tainting an otherwise perfect reality.
