This chapter has been updated on 12/29/2022 - if you've read it before this date, read it again.
Pokémon speech in Pokémon language = "Italicized"
Human Speech = "Regular"
Thoughts/highlighted text = 'thoughts/highlighted text'
Chapter 003 – Sex Fiends Everywhere
There was a gentle green glow from the flora around him, and it would have been a beautiful sight, save for the orange blobs of matter chasing them around. Behind him, he could see May and Max, both within arm's reach of the orange antibodies. But then Max tripped upon a branch, and all that Ash could do was scream and try to go back and pull him away from the incoming antibody, but he was locked in place, unable to move, forced to watch as one of the antibodies caught his foot and continued up his leg. To his horror, May reached out to her younger brother, attempting to pull him out, but her efforts were for naught, as she too was caught within the antibody's reach.
His vision momentarily darkened, and he found himself reliving a new scene, forced to watch the lush greenery of the Tree of Beginning turn orange, before rotting away, with Mew and Lucario slowly dying at his feet. He tried to reach out, to push his Aura to heal both Lucario and Mew, both who were fading before his eyes, but failed as he felt nothing. He cried out for help, unable to move, locked in place as he was forced to watch the two Pokémon turn to dust and the walls of the Tree's heart turn black. And as a large dead wall of the Tree came loose, it fell from above and crushed him, and his vision went dark.
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
With a gasp of air, Ash suddenly awoke in bed, moonlight illuminating his surroundings, enough for him to realize that he was in bed at the Pokémon Center and could see Misty on the other bed to his right, fast asleep. He could hear his heart beating rather quickly and felt sweaty all over.
Getting out of bed, he noticed the clock reading one a.m., and from the partially drawn blinds, he could see the form of the full moon, lighting up the cloudy night sky.
And as his breathing and heart rate calmed down, he realized that he had just had his first nightmare in a very long time, one that reminded him of the deadly experience at occurred at the Tree of Beginning with Mew all those years ago, of what could have happened had he failed to help Lucario revive the tree with his Aura.
Pulling himself together, he crawled back into bed, attempting to fall back asleep, though it would elude him for quite some time. When he finally fell asleep, he was fortunate enough to experience nothing but the void of dreamless sleep, which was a reprieve from his initial nightmare filled slumber.
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
As Ash woke from his fitful sleep, barely able to recall the horrors of his nightmare, his eyes were treated to the sight of Misty across the room. The covers were thrown off, with her fiery orange hair framed loosely around her face and her tanned skin contrasting with the small pink circles at the center of her breasts…wait, breasts?
Apparently at some point during the night, Misty had thrown off her nightgown and her blanket and went to bed without a stitch of clothing on, her naked form now before him. And the sight of said naked figure before him along with teenage hormones running rampant left him experiencing his very first case of morning wood, something he really didn't want to think about. And if that wasn't bad enough, he needed to pee.
Fortunately, he was able to quietly sneak out of bed without waking her up, though nearly panicked when he tripped and barely caught himself from falling, the tips of his fingers now grazing Misty's right breast. But when he pulled back, he heard her moan in pleasure and nearly fainted from shock. Within the next ten minutes, he had freshened up and raced out of his room, beet red from embarrassment.
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
As Ash looked around for his starter, he was worried about how last night's battle would have affected him. Fortunately, he didn't need to worry about where his starter was, seeing as he was now munching on a bowl of mashed food under the watchful eye of a Chansey.
"Heya buddy. Are you alright?"
"I guess so. But look at me. Just two days ago, I was kicking Legendary ass. Now, I can't even use thunder shock without passing out. A friggin thunder shock." sighed a rather depressed Pichu.
"There, there buddy. You'll be battling in no time." replied Ash, hoping to bring Pichu out of his funk.
"Indeed Mr. Ketchum. You Pichu, while perfectly healthy, is physically not capable of battling at this point" answered Nurse Joy, who had heard the tail end of his response to Pichu and interjected. "While Pichu may be several years old biologically, he hasn't developed like a Pichu in the wild would, and thus, the electric sacs in his cheeks lack the endurance of a much younger Pichu that would have already evolved in the wild."
"But Nurse Joy, if Pichu doesn't battle, how will he get stronger? He can't exactly grow without exerting himself" asked Ash, concern for Pichu evident in his voice.
"True. Hmm…right now, the best thing for Pichu would be a physical training regime at a local Battle Club. There he could at the very least get some physical exercise in – that alone would do wonders for his ability to progress with his body's physique. Take this note to Don there, he'll get you set up on everything you need."
"Umm…thanks' Nurse Joy."
"You're welcome Mr. Ketchum. And good luck with Pichu." And with that, Nurse Joy left, leaving the duo alone in one of the checkup rooms.
…
"Did she just tell us to check out the local Battle Club?" asked the baby electric type.
"Yeah. But aren't those in Unova. And did she mean Don? As in Don George?" questioned Ash.
"I think so. Guess the timeline might be a bit more different than we initially thought it was. And what was up with Gary – I don't remember him being that nice before. And what was up with that challenge he mentioned?"
"Apparently Gary and I never had our big fight, and we've apparently been friends since we were in our nappies in this timeline. And I remember us making a promise several years ago, basically that we would both face off against each other in the finals of the Indigo league when we set out to become trainers and prove who was the better trainer."
"That sounds nice – a much better way for a rivalry to start off when compared to all the other ones we've dealt with. Grr…all this change is gonna drive me nuts!"
"Yeah buddy. And I have a feeling that this is just the beginning, and that we're going to be in for a lot of surprises."
"I don't like surprises. Nevertheless, we're gonna have to deal with em. Now go wake up Misty – I wanna check out the Battle Club here, and maybe they might have the right training to get us back in shape."
"Umm…can you go wake up Misty? Please." asked Ash with a blush on his face, something that Pichu definitely noticed.
"Why?"
"Just…go into our room, its #209. You'll see why."
And thus, Pichu would find out that Ash was indeed a teenager, one that could not look at a naked female without turning as red as a Darmanitan, even more so when it was a hottie like Misty. Maybe there was hope for his trainer…
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
On the seven-grapefruit Islands, a Snorlax awoke to the sight of a Munchlax sleeping on his tummy. Just as he went to wake up the small Normal type, two pairs of eyes looked into each other, and a single phrase was spoken.
"Hiya Dad!"
…
Curse Minnie the Snorlax for leaving him to be a single parent!
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
The previous day…
Several hundred miles away, in the sleepy settlement of Lavender Town, a Haunter halfway through a stroke with his brush, dipped in some sort of yellow paint, blinked in confusion. Said ghost type was puzzled as to why he was painting a dildo with molten cheese on some random person's windshield – one of the many silly things he hadn't done in years, back when he was still a young Haunter. Though for some reason, he had the oddest feeling that something was missing…
It would be many days later until he realized what was wrong, when a man who spotted him screamed "AHHH! A HAUNTER!" in fright. It was at that moment that the shadow Pokémon realized that he was no longer 'the shadow Pokémon'. Maybe this was some sort of weird dream. Could ghost types even have dreams?
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
Back at the Viridian City Pokémon center, Pichu had successfully gotten Misty up an about for the day, along with gaining a pretty good understanding as to how the next generation of female Ketchum's might look like someday. Now if only these two morons would get started on making said next generation…
As the group went about getting ready for the day, which started out with Ash preventing Pichu from stealing a bottle of ketchup from the cafeteria, Ash filled in Misty on what Nurse Joy had told them. And as they made their way to the Battle Club, he asked her if she knew about them.
"I do remember one being started up in Saffron City just a few weeks before I came to Alola for my vacation, but now I also remember them being around for at least six years in Kanto."
"So, the timeline is a bit different than before. So far, it doesn't seem to be anything to get worried about though."
"Umm…what is Charmander saying?" asked Misty, really wishing that she could actually understand Pokémon like Ash could.
"Charmander thinks that the changes we've noticed so far are nothing to be really worried about. But the thing is, I'm actually concerned that things might go bad, knowing my luck." sighed Ash.
"I hope not. Though that's all the more reason to get back in shape. If there's a potential catastrophe ahead of us, we're gonna need to be at our peak." replied Pichu.
"Yeah buddy. Now let's go get some training done!"
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
Arriving at the Viridian Battle Club, the duo (and Pokémon) found the facility nearly empty, save for a receptionist, who promptly checked them in. As they were left in the waiting room, Ash noted that the place was surprisingly empty, recalling that the ones in Unova were bustling with activity, at least when he was there. But as he pondered this, Don George appeared, the only factor distinguishing him from the others he had met in the original timeline being the cream-colored trim on his dark blue sleeveless Gi and similarly shaded wristbands.
"Hello there. I'm Don George, the head of the Viridian Battle Club. And you are…Ash aye" spoke the muscled brunette, looking up from a handheld tablet.
"Umm yeah, that's me."
"Pleasure to meet you young man. Though it is rare to see a trainer during the off season."
"Off season?"
"Yep. The Indigo league ended just last month, and trainers usually don't come in until the end of the fall. No matter. So how can I help you?"
After explaining about Pichu's inability to properly use his electric type moves, Don led them to a large gym, where he spent the next few minutes looking over the notes that Nurse Joy had sent him just over an hour ago.
"Hmm…well young man, your Pichu is in good health, according to Nurse Joy at the very least. However, that doesn't necessarily translate into peak physical condition. Pichu, while perfectly healthy, has never battled before if I'm not mistaken."
"Umm…yeah."
"I thought so. So right now, while he may be nearly ten years old, which is very old for a Pichu, he doesn't have the endurance of a wild Pichu, where he would have evolved within its first year of life as a survival instinct. So for now, all I can recommend are a series of physical exercises, slowly ramping up in intensity, after which we can start working on his electric type abilities, where eventually at some point, he'll be physically strong enough to handle any voltage surges that would occur when using any electric type move, thus slowly pushing him to naturally evolve within at most a month, after which he shouldn't have any issues unless he takes in too much electric voltage from let's say, an incoming thunder attack, which is something that any young electric type has to be careful about."
"So Pichu will be able to evolve soon?" asked Ash.
"Aye, assuming the little one's strict about his training regime. Now let's get started!"
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
The next two weeks were oddly calm during their days at the Battle Club, with no world ending plots or mad shenanigans occurring, a great relief for both Ash and his Pokémon, who were able to get going with an excellent training regime.
Within just eleven days, Pichu had reached a top speed of nearly fourteen miles per hour – impressive for a Pichu but less than a quarter of his top speed at just shy of eighty miles per hour as a Pikachu. Though to be fair he was at the top one percentile for his species, at least by the time of the Lily of the Valley Island Conference, which was the culmination of over six years of training and experience.
But Pichu wasn't the only one with the most intensive training regime – Misty had apparently gotten her signature Pokémon sent over from the Cerulean Gym, though her dear sweet (and monstrously strong) Gyarados was now a Magikarp, who now had to train from the ground up if he ever wanted to go back to being a Gyarados. Though this left Ash confused as to why Misty would wear her keystone without a mega stone, which he did ask her about.
"I actually do have a Gyaradosite – I found it a few years back at the Cerulean cove and have it at home. When I showed it to Daisy, she got me this keystone, which I just wear because one, it looks good on me, and two, it's motivation for me to work hard with getting Magikarp back up to snuff, though that's only in this timeline."
"Fair enough. And the keystone definitely complements your outfit."
"You're making me blush Ash!" blushed Misty.
"Why would I make you blush?" asked Ash in confusion.
…
Pichu and Charmander facepalmed in mental agony at being denied their greatest desire. Meanwhile, Mewtwo was left amused at the antics of the pair of humans and their Pokémon.
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
In a clearing in the forests outside of Ecruteak City, a Hoothoot with a unique plumage and a Chikorita could be seen collecting leaves and branches, attempting to make a nest and a campfire for a cream-colored Pokémon egg with brown spots that they were watching over.
"So do you know how to start a fire. We have leaves and twigs for fuel but how do you light it?" asked Chikorita, worried that the egg would get cold at night?
"I believe that we would require a heat source of around 508.15 K to start a fire, and even hotter if the wood is wet. Without a fire type, and due to a lack of fingers between the two of us, we would need a focusing lens to tap into the heat of sunlight. I really wish I could use protect right about now – I could manipulate it as a convex lens to start a fire." answered Hoothoot, who was calculating the probability that he would be able to relearn protect to perfection in seven hours.
"What I'm more confused about is how Scraggy's egg is here in Johto? Like ignoring the part that we're devolved and definitely not back home – you know what, I don't even want to know what fucked up shit is going on. Let's-"
Suddenly, the bushes at the end of the clearing rustled, and the duo readied themselves to defend their charge. However, their concern was unnecessary when a Cyndaquil popped out of the bushes with its back flaming, which calmed down upon recognizing the Pokémon before her.
"Bayleef! Noctowl! Is that you guys?"
"Quilava! You're small again as well?"
"Yep! Just a few days ago, I went from daydreaming of Infernape's throbbing cock to waking up in the forest where I grew up. Do you know how frustrating a girl can get when she's left hanging? Even if it's in a dream! The worst part is that I now can't even feel my ladylike urges anymore since I'm a Cyndaquil again…" sighed the clearly grumpy fire type.
"You're not the only one girl…" giggled Chikorita, having naughty thoughts about Sceptile.
"I have neither the desire nor the inclination to hear about your moments of debauchery. Though I believe that Infernape would value that information for his next thesis on sex between same type but different species Pokémon. Save it until we get back to the ranch where I'll be left in peace for my own research."
"Nerd!"
"Jinx!"
…
"So…can you start up a fire? We've somehow got what I'm all but certain is Scraggy's egg here and eggs need consistent warmth to stay healthy. Besides, we can't travel until he hatches." asked Chikorita.
"Sure thing. But why?" answered Cyndaquil.
Didn't you ever listen to the WISH (Weird Impossible Shit Happens) protocol lectures that Old Bulby made after the whole 'Dialga and Palkia duke it out over cookies' event at Alamos town and we decided that the next time there was a legendary crisis, we'd be prepared on how to handle it."
"She was busy getting penetrated by Infernape" giggled Chikorita.
"Why did I end up being stuck with the sex fiends. Couldn't I have run into Bulbasaur or Hawlucha or Torterra or Snorlax – they'd at least provide intellectual conversations" sighed Noctowl the Hoothoot, questioning what deity he must have pissed off at some point for him to be trapped in this unfortunate predicament.
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
In the vast plains of the Safari Zone, the earth rumbled as a stampede of Tauros raced across the land, heading for the hills outside Fuchsia City, the fastest way to get out of the Safari Zone without being detected.
The herd of normal types had spent the past week exploring the Safari Zone and the surrounding areas, figuring out where they were and how they'd get back to Pallet town.
Though on the day before they were about to GTFO, they encountered what appeared to be a semi-truck trailer filled with some unusual Pokémon, having the appearance of small metallic blobs, each with a golden hex nut for a head and a single beady eye, all of them feasting on several crates filled with iron bolts and nuts.
Upon noticing the Tauros herd, one hundred squeaky voices spoke in unison.
"Hi there! Can you big guys help us – the Tauros back at the school were really nice, and maybe you guys are nice too!"
"Umm…sure. But who are you guys, and what exactly do you need help with?" asked the herd leader.
"We need to get back to our big brother and our trainer! Though right now, we'll settle on knowing where we are?" asked all one hundred hex nut Pokémon.
"We're currently in the Safari Zone just outside Fuchsia City, in the Kanto Region."
"Oh! Our trainer is from Kanto! He's from a place called umm…Pallet town we think."
The herd leader now had a pretty good idea as who's Pokémon these guys were, though he'd need to check.
"So…tell me the name of your trainer and his or her starter Pokémon. And who is this big brother you speak of?"
"His name is Ash Ketchum, and his starter is Boss Pikachu. Our big brother is the super duper awesome cuddly Sir Rowlet!"
"Well good news! That's our trainer too. Now hop on – we're leaving for Pallet Town tomorrow" replied the herd leader upon hearing their confirmation.
"YAY!" squeaked one hundred adorable little voices.
The following day, Kaiser, the keeper of the Safari Zone would go about his day, failing to notice the missing Tauros, a fact he wouldn't realize until many months later.
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
Froakie was…well frustrated didn't encompass what he was currently dealing with. Just days ago, he was in Central Kalos, hunting down what Lord Zygarde believed to be the heart of the dark vines, the target they would need to strike to fell the remnants of what Team Flare had once done to the lands of Kalos.
Central Kalos had proven to be much more difficult than what he had seen of Kalos so far, firstly being an unknow territory, seeing as he and his Liege Lord had only explored Northern Kalos throughout their adventures. This was made ever more difficult by the general unease he had been feeling for the past few months, as if something in the very air was wrong.
Upon voicing his thoughts to Lord Zygarde, the order Pokémon somberly informed him that something was amiss, that the very order of the world itself was unstable, a concern that somehow, very few others seemed to be noticing.
For that reason, the order Pokémon had been disappearing for days on end, leaving him to his devices to continue the hunt for darkness. And on some days where he found himself contemplating many a concept, he looked inwards to the bond he shared with his Liege Lord, though even in that he could not find solace from the unease that had lately plagued him.
The bond, once a force of nature, now reduced to a stream, a rickety bridge that could collapse at any moment. And for many months, it would randomly stutter, bringing him ever more concern over the wellbeing of his Liege Lord before a sense of relief as it stabilized, yet still very weak. But one day, out of the blue, he felt something change, something other than unease and fear of the world in the air. But before he could voice his thoughts to Lord Zygarde, a flash of light enveloped him and he knew only darkness.
When he came to, he found himself somehow as a Froakie, that too back at the nursery he was raised at. Breaking out had been a breeze, though the lack of his former strength and capabilities as a Greninja was a shocking fact that he was still struggling to comprehend, made even more real by the fact that he ran into brother Hawlucha a few hours later, who was equally as confused as he was.
And right now, both Pokémon were attempting to find the nearest Zygarde cell – contacting Lord Zygarde was currently their best option for figuring out what was going on. But then things turned for the worse when they couldn't even find a single cell, and after nearly two weeks of searching, the duo gave up, now at Snowbelle City, the nearest large settlement by the nursery he hatched from.
Frustration was at an all-time high when out of the blue, Hawlucha casually mentioned that he'd need to get back to his training regime and missed his sparring partner Buizel from the ranch.
"Is this Buizel another one of our Liege Lord's Pokémon?" asked the water type.
"Indeed – a very capable water type that could fare rather evenly in a battle against you, well as a Greninja."
"How could another one of our Liege Lord's Pokémon match my strength?"
"Training and experience – you truly haven't been pushed to your limits with the training we've done throughout our adventures in Kalos, and you will once you undergo the training regime we have back at the ranch – I'm going to have my work cut out for me getting you up to speed."
"What do you mean by that?"
"While you were a strong Pokémon by the events of the Lumiose Conference, you are far from the strongest among our comrades – you have yet to reach the elite in terms of battle prowess amongst all of our comrades, many of whom you have yet to meet.
"WHAT! I'm definitely a strong Pokémon – the strongest of us so far, though brother Pikachu would be a potential equal in strength" sharply replied Froakie.
"Brother Greninja. I am sad to say that you are far from the strongest – Elder Charizard or Elder Sceptile or Elder Bulbasaur are much stronger than you, even with the battle bond. And there are others of near equal strength to those three, including but not limited to Elder Snorlax, Elder Infernape, Master Gible, and Master Krookodile. Add in the fact that there is a very high chance that we have yet to see Commander Pikachu's full power, and the truth is that you have a long road ahead of you if you are to ever reach you true full potential."
"But…your right. Though while you have no reason to lie, I won't truly be able to believe it unless I see these comrades of ours for myself. And why do you address several of them as Elder or Master?"
"I address them as so out of respect - they have most certainly earned said titles through either trial by combat against a legendary or by proving their worth against others who have succeeded in such a trial."
…
Froakie had always presented a stoic face, rarely ever showing emotion outside of battle, ever since he was a Froakie and even more so as a Greninja. But the genuine shock of hearing about some of Ash's Pokémon facing and besting legendaries was a rare sight in Hawlucha's opinion, something he had never seen before on the face of the Ninja Pokémon.
"Please, brother Hawlucha. Tell me more of these comrades of ours that have faced Legendary Pokémon and won."
"Of course, brother Greninja. Well, let us start with Elder Charizard and the time he bested Articuno…"
And thus, the two Pokémon were deep in conversation, Froakie eagerly listening as they set up camp for the night. By the next morning, the now young Ninja Pokémon would train with new vigor, ready to show the world that he too could face a legendary. Alongside their training, the duo were on the move, their next objective being meeting up with any of their other comrades or human allies, ideally their Liege Lord or their Lady Serena.
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
Though on the other side of the planet, a lone helicopter could be seen flying over the forests of Sinnoh. While this in itself was nothing really unusual, the presence of a Totodile wearing a paper captain's hat piloting it was definitely not normal. Behind the water type sat a Chimchar holding a map and a slightly obese Buizel with a telescope, looking out the side into the distance.
"How far away are we from this 'Twinleaf Town'?" asked Totodile.
"Not far – we should be there in about an hour North, assuming we're on track."
"Umm…guys. We have a situation."
"What is it Buizel?"
"An airship at our eight o'clock, roughly two thousand feet over our current altitude. And it's not a friendly one."
"Please don't tell me it's Hunter J." gulped Chimchar.
"Then I'm not gonna say anything."
"Fuck! Totodile! Get us as far away as possible from that mad bitch!"
"What do you think this is, an Orre MiG-25 that can hit Mach 3? This puppy won't go over 140 mph and I'm already pushing her to the limit. If necessary, blow the airship out of the sky!"
"Did you forget the fact that we're both currently outgunned and stuck in much weaker forms. And even if we were at full strength, none of us have any long-range attacks that would work – I'm primarily a close quarters fighter and your hydro pump or Buizel's sonic boom lack the range to hit, and even if they did, they'd lose most of their power and be near useless against that reinforced hull!" screeched Chimchar.
The three Pokémon would cross their fingers (and paws and claws) and hope that they would go unnoticed. Fortunately for them, the crew aboard Hunter J's airship wouldn't notice the small chopper, seeing as their primary objective was getting to the nearest CVS for some tampons for the boss – a woman during her monthlies was not to be trifled with.
X - - - X - - - X - - - X - - - X
Within an underground bunker, in the shadows of a room poorly lit by an old incandescent bulb, a figure could be seen, observing the movements of a young trainer, namely Ash Ketchum, or as labeled in the files, Asset One, around Viridian city from several feeds from security footage ever since he walked into Viridian.
The Asset was a rather intriguing young man.
Just days earlier, he was but an ordinary teenager, nothing really notable about that. But yesterday, said teenager had released a mysterious surge in life energy, an event that said figure, even with years of mastery over the psychic arts could barely sense. However, the aforementioned figure was fortunate enough to recognized it for what it was from an event that an old…rival had spoken of many years ago.
Aura. The energy of life, it's physical manifestation that very few Pokémon and fewer humans could wield. This would bear thorough research.
The mysterious figure knew that there was much to be learned about the young man and trusted only one to perform the needed observations while undetected for the foreseeable future.
Sensing her Leader's call, a Gardevior with a unique light-teal coloring instead of green teleported into the room, awaiting her orders.
"Gardevior. You are to observe the Asset for the next few months with weekly reports on everything he does. I want to know everything about him – who he interacts with, what he does, and everything else that matters. Avoid detection at all costs" spoke the mysterious figure, the voice muffled and neutral in tone, indistinguishable as to whether the speaker was male or female.
"Understood."
"And be wary of that Meowth – it is most certainly not what it seems, especially with a psychic signature that could rival yours, even if it is masked to near perfection."
"Hmm…should I deal with the Meowth as a precaution?"
"Your primary objective is Asset One, though track its movements as well, and if necessary, I will send for another to observe him, and if needed, neutralize."
"Very well."
And with that final statement, the room went momentarily dark, though when the old incandescent bulb flickered back on, it was as if no one had ever been there in the first place.
X - - - X - - - Chapter End - - - X - - - X
