This chapter has been updated on 12/29/2022 - if you've read it before this date, read it again.


Pokémon speech in Pokémon language = "Italicized"

Human Speech = "Regular"

Thoughts/highlighted text = 'thoughts/highlighted text'

Chapter 004 – Garmin's are not hoof friendly

Unease.

It was a concept rather new to an entity such as himself, but one that had been lingering in the back of his mind ever since he had returned to the past alongside Ash. Mewtwo was wary of it of course, but it was definitely something to investigate. But as he was now present in the current timeline, he would soon need to plan out how to return to his duties as the Master Psychic type legendary – time travel was inherently messy business and there were many possible reasons for his current unease.

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The past few days had been rather harrowing for a pair of Dragon types – starting off with waking up in younger bodies in very different places. When they had finally met up, they had proceeded to rest for a while in a small cavern, when all of a sudden, a baby Noibat fell, or more specifically their comrade Noivern in the form of a newly hatched Pokémon that crash landed on Goomy.

And if that wasn't bad enough, there was also the fact that Noibat was nearly dead, though he had fortunately recovered – well enough to travel at the very least. Though both Gible and Goomy were still concerned for the wellbeing of the baby dragon type – the former concerned over his only student and the latter being himself aka a warm and friendly parental figure.

Now, nearly two weeks after they encountered Noibat, the trio were slowly travelling underground, using the natural ability of the Garchomp line that Gible wielded with ease to make it across continents, well, underground at the very least. The Garchomp line were called the 'land shark Pokémon' for a reason, and so far, they had covered a fair bit of ground, though they hadn't really surfaced near any notable landmarks so far, because for all they knew, they could very well be going in circles, though Noibat hoped not.

Though after punching through a sewage line and getting chased by a group of Grimer, the group was hoping for a nice place – a place actually above ground for once where they could rest. And at this point, the trio of dragon types didn't expect to encounter anything that could surprise them. But well…their trainer was Ash Ketchum – they were all but guaranteed to encounter something surprising.

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Ambipom had dealt with some crazy things throughout her life, most notably the events of Alamos town in her opinion, though there could be a case made when the friggin creator of the universe went on a rampage – she didn't end up getting pulled into the past, seeing as she was stuck at the Pokémon center that day, and thus wasn't directly a part of that madness – the one time she was grateful for food poisoning due to rotten avocados.

Though right now, she was definitely questioning her sanity, as she was now somehow an Aipom again and now had memories that didn't make any sense, more so by the fact that they were both vague and made her think of things that she knew were definitely not possible.

Because last she checked, Dawn didn't have a cousin who looked just like her, or an Aunt or Uncle. And she definitely wasn't a member of the Royal Family of Sinnoh.

But it wasn't just Dawn she had new memories of. Piplup, Mamoswine, Lopunny, Patcharisu, and Quilava were missing. Togekiss was now a Togepi and belonged to Dawn's cousin that she had never heard of before. And Dawn was still missing! All these thoughts in total were giving her a headache to rival that of Misty's Psyduck!

The next few days after waking up as an Aipom were spent going through her memories, both old and new. Firstly, she was no longer in Slateport City, let alone Hoenn. She was now in a place called the Jade Palace, the seat of power of the Kingdom of Sinnoh, located just a short distance away from Crown City. Secondly, her new memories of Dawn were that of a person very different from the Dawn she had snuggled close by at the Slateport City Pokémon center just a few nights ago, which was something that would need time to make sense of.

Though after processing most of the madness in her head, she spent the next few weeks exploring the palace she was now hanging around, the Jade Palace it was called, an apt name seeing as most of the palace was covered in actual jade.

While she did consider the fact that Piplup might have spiked her Nestlé Chocolate milk as payback for painting his beak poop-brown and had accidently killed her via food poisoning and that she was now in a very trippy afterlife, that theory was shot out of the water by virtue of having new memories. All that she could make sense of from the snippets of new memories that she could actually remember pointed to Dawn going to a boarding school in a different region.

Maybe Cyrus had pulled off his mad scheme to rewrite reality, because that was the only explanation she had at the moment. Why couldn't life be so much easier…

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In the deep remote jungles of Galar, a massive warehouse stood out to anyone in the forest, or at least to anyone close enough to see it past the thick foliage. Inside, scores of men could be seen, working on some sort of large object, a machine of some sort under assembly. Observing all this was a violet eyed man, smirking at the thought that in just over a year, his vessel would be complete, even more so with the perfect timing of the events that were to come.

He, unlike the rest of his family, would succeed beyond the achievements of what his siblings had accomplished – Pokémon trafficking wasn't too shabby in the grand scheme of criminal and evil activities, but were nothing in comparison to his goals, of conquering the Trio and the one they answered to.

(insert evil and deranged villain laughter…)

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Not far from Vermillion City, a Bulbasaur could be seen, drinking from a coconut held in one vine and whipping a rather pathetic looking teenager with the other. Where said grass type had gotten a coconut was a question that would remain unanswered till the end of time, but hey, at least he was staying hydrated – Chief Medical Officer Bayleef recommended at least four gallons of fluids a day, eight if you had even a glass of alcohol within twenty-four hours (many Pokémon had very high tolerances for alcohol, an intriguing fact that not many knew of) – she was rather unwavering at her duties as the team medic and head therapist – a necessity seeing how so many members of their crazy family had some form of PTSD from all the suicidal legendary encounters and world ending plots they had been a part of.

Though back to Bulbasaur, who was now pondering what to do, decided that he'd first need to figure out what exactly was going on and assess what he knew so far about his current situation.

He was somewhere near Vermillion City, not far from the hidden village if he wasn't mistaken.

Somehow, he was some other trainer's Pokémon, though that issue was resolved seeing as said trainer's Poké ball for him was destroyed, and soon, the aforementioned trainer would be dead – he didn't tolerate evil, criminal scum (Jessie, James and Meowth were sources of mild amusement, not criminal scum).

His bulb, through some impossible means, was much smaller than it once was, and he could no longer feel the thrum of evolutionary energy he had kept in check for nearly ten years, which was very concerning.

All in total, he was slightly panicking about the last point, seeing as it was proof that he wasn't as strong as a Venasaur anymore. But first, he'd need a game plan, starting with making his way to Pallet town, and frenzy plants would soon be rampaging until he got some answers. But all that could wait – he had a coconut water to finish…

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Meanwhile, just a few hours after said grass type finished his coconut and left the area, the broken and bleeding body of a trainer by the name of Damien gave out, his soul already on its way to the depths of the Distortion realm, cursed to suffer eternal torture. His body would never be found, seeing as a rampaging Magmar would set the surrounding area on fire, burning the body to ash with a swiftly approaching thunderstorm washing away what remained.

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Just a few hundred miles north of where a certain grass type was enjoying a tropical treat, a herd of Tauros could be seen, stampeding across the land. Though for some odd reason, they were pulling a Santa sleigh with a bunch of Meltan playing bouncy-bouncy on it?

The sight of this would ponder many observers, especially children who were wondering why Santa was delivering toys in April. The Tauros on the other hand would not pay heed to any of these observations, seeing as they were racing across the plains of Kanto, all while trying to figure out how to use a Garmin. Unfortunately, Garmin's were not hoof friendly and they didn't know the number to Garmin's customer care hotline.

However, seeing as they were distracted due to the unsolvable puzzle that was a Garmin, the herd unfortunately ran over a couple and their Meowth having a picnic.

Oops! Though for some inexplicable reason, the group of Pokémon felt that they were eerily familiar, but they paid no attention to that thought, continuing on their merry way to their destination of Pallet Town.

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"Ouch..." mumbled Meowth.

"MY HAIR!" shrieked Jessie.

"My poor back..." moaned James in agony.

"Dat really hurt. Now is it just me or is dat herd of Tauros familiar..." said Meowth.

"Say, weren't those the twerp's Pokémon?" asked Jessie.

"I think they were. But why are they here and what the hell are we doing in Kanto!" asked James.

"You're right Jamie! And I dunno why but I suddenly remember a lot of stuff I didn't remember a few moments ago."

"Me too!"

"Me three!"

"WOBBUFFET!" cried out a familiar psychic type, emerging from a Poké ball on Jessie's belt.

"Mime, Mime, Mime!" squeaked another familiar psychic type, emerging from a Poké ball on James's belt.

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Just moments after a familiar trio were run over, two Poké ball's in Sinnoh activated, releasing a Carnivine and a Growlithe. Across the globe, several other Pokémon awoke for the new day with the memories of many, many blast offs, and they all were wondering what the hell was going on.

Though amongst these Pokémon, the oddest of the bunch, a Mimikyu, chose to blast off at near impossible speeds, somehow running across the waters north of Melemele Island. Because while Mimikyu couldn't track his mistress, he could track the souls that he had at some point brough close to the gates of Lord Giratina, namely that of a talking Meowth, one that had accidently looked under his cloth-hood and invertedly reached Giratina's realm several times only to be pulled back just as he approached the gates.

However, right behind said ghost type, a Bewear carrying a blue and purple egg with a baby Stufful on her head was also running across the Alola waters, knowing exactly where to go to reach her children.

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Finding oneself as a Phanpy instead of a Donphan would be rather shocking if it were to happen to any other chap, but Donphan was a therapist, and had dealt with crazier shit in his six-year medical career. Being devolved was nothing compared to bribing a grateful Celebi with a crap ton of sh*t (including a crate of weed) to take him and a bunch of fellow Pokémon a decade into the past to get full fledge human University level educations.

How else d'ya think an eight-year-old Pokémon have a valid medical license and a Doctorate in Psychology alongside six years of experience as a therapist for PTSD patients.

Oh well, there were more important things to worry about, like how the hell he was in Ilex Forest. Because last he checked, he was enjoying a nap back at the ranch. Maybe this was related to that incident in Sinnoh that Boss Pikachu had mentioned about the Creation Trio

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After finishing up an exhausting training session, currently on their fifteenth day, Ash and Co made their way back to the Pokémon center for a well-deserved meal and bedtime. Though just before they reached the Pokémon center, Mewtwo pulled Ash aside. And judging by the expression on the face of his Meowth form, it was something serious.

"Ash. There is something that I will need to deal with that will require my full attention for the foreseeable future, thus resulting in myself being unavailable to aid you when needed for some time."

"Mewtwo. I've already told you that you're a legendary who has duties of your own to attend to, so I have no problem with you leaving to deal with whatever you have to deal with. You don't need to even tell me that you need to leave for something, though it'd be nice if you do let me know."

"Thank you, Ash. And I hope to see you soon."

"Good luck with what your needed to deal with." said Ash.

And thus, the master of the psychic arts teleported away, not to be seen again for the foreseeable future.

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Meanwhile, at a beach overlooking the ocean, a Corphish burrowed its head out of the sand and looked around in confusion. Said Corphish was processing the thought that he was not where he was supposed to be and came to the realization that he was definitely not at the bottom of the lake at the Ranch. Looking around, he realized that he was at a beach of some sort, though found that observation to be rather silly, seeing as there were no beaches at the ranch or in Pallet Town. It also happened to be nighttime, and judging by the stiffness of his joints, he must've fallen asleep at some point.

Shaking off some sand in his pincers, he proceeded to walk the length of the beach, eventually seeing a harbor up ahead, brimming with activity, with well over a dozen ships docked with cargo being loaded and unloaded.

A bustling dock would have lots of people milling about, with someone hopefully kind enough to identify his current location, and if necessary, catch a cabbie either to Pallet Town or to the nearest airport. Because at best, he was in either Vermillion or at worst, at Goldenrod, both being just a few hours away by plane from Pallet Town, slightly longer in the case of Goldenrod.

A few minutes later, a friendly looking Machoke was kind enough to inform him the shocking news that he was now at the Slateport City harbor, which did not make any sense. And last he checked, he didn't have any missions to Slateport until next week, unless he had been drunk off his pincers and Noctowl decided to teleport him all the way to Hoenn in advance. Though just to be sure, he'd need both a calendar and a map of the city – if he was on duty, then he needed to get to the Slateport City Pokémon center – Swellow had intel on both May and Dawn at Slateport for the Grand Festival and the Director wanted protection detail for them ASAP. Though if he wasn't mistaken, Glalie was supposed to be his partner for this mission. Now where was that floating snowball…

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Said floating snowball was currently a Snorunt that was staring at twigs as if there were evil incarnate. Though in this case that statement wasn't complete untrue, seeing as the twigs were following the laws of gravity, a crime in Glalie's opinion (the fact that he was a Snorunt for the most part went under the radar – there were other priorities to be concerned with) – the stupid twigs refused to levitate.

Nevertheless, getting the small bits of organic matter floating was currently a necessity that needed to be achieved, seeing as his tiny limbs were barely useable, alongside the fact that it was how he learned psychic in the first place, the move that paved the way to how he was able to get shit done as a Glalie, because why in the name of Arceus had Arceus made his species essentially a floating frozen rock with no limbs. Psychic was currently a must have, and as confusing as being a Snorunt again was, he was still on mission, even if his missing partner Corphish wasn't even sober last he checked.

And right now, he felt very vulnerable. Because while his move pool was currently limited to his best move being powder snow, which in itself was bad enough, he was unarmed, a terrifying concept for someone who was primarily a weapons specialist, one who loved destruction alongside his fellow comrade Krookodile, though his preference was for twenty-foot long greatswords over stone-edge-turned-dynamite. And right now, he couldn't even hold a pencil, let alone a pair of one-hundred-pound greatswords that could slice through anything. Oh, Rosie and Martha my beloveds. Where are you…

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At an estate not far from a large city, an elderly man wearing what appeared to be a butler's uniform could be seen attempting to calm down a young girl who seemed to be suffering from some form of panic attack.

Holding his charge close while attempting to sooth her with gentle rubs, the elderly man looked around to find a Poliwag aimlessly looking around. Said Pokémon happened to be confused as to why the small human wouldn't want cuddles – the small humans near the beach loved cuddles!

Understanding what had induced another panic attack in the young girl he considered a granddaughter in all but blood, he pulled her up before gently carrying her back to the manor – a cup of hot chocolate ought to help. Oh, how badly he wished he could give her the help she needed, but healing mental trauma was beyond him. So far, none of the psychiatrists and therapists he had hired from all over the world had been able to help, and it broke his heart, seeing such an innocent soul in so much pain.

Maybe Seb or Jerv knew somebody who could help – both of his older brothers had travelled the world a fair bit more than he had throughout their careers, and hopefully might know somebody who could help.

Hopefully…

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Deep in the forests outside of Fortree City in Hoenn, a large gathering of various flocks of flying types could be seen nesting, though some of them were definitely out of place in the temperate climate of Hoenn, many not native to the region. Of the many foreign flying types present, some of the more notable ones were the flocks of Unfezant, Corviknight, and Talonflame, each species native to Unova, Galar, and Kalos respectively.

This gathering of flying types was the biennial flyer convention, where three of the strongest flocks of each region flew all the way to Hoenn to breed with other flocks to strengthen their numbers. Sometimes, the flocks at the convention from a region were all of one species, though at this year's convention, diversity was at an all-time high.

In the midst of all the activity going on, several eggs started hatching, the highlight of each two-month long event. Of the dozens of eggs that hatched, three of the newly hatched flying types were in a state of confusion, clearly possessing intellect well beyond that of a baby Pokémon. These three were a Taillow, a Fletchling, and a Pidove, all very confused as to why they were no longer at the Oak ranch, and as to how they were now in the form of newly hatched Pokémon instead of fully evolved veterans on the battlefield.

Though since they were currently baby Pokémon, they soon fell asleep like all the other newly hatched flying types, snuggling into each other after a small meal of berries. The trio could worry about being teeny tiny later…zzz…zzz.

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At a brewery in southern Galar, chaos and panic were currently brewing (get it, brewing.), indicative by the fact that the employees were screaming in sheer terror while running towards the exit. What was the source of their fear?

Pursuing them in slow motion was a dark blob that had just consumed one of the brewery tanks and was making terrifying slurping noises. Add in the fact that the lights had gone out and well…the employees of the Gentle Shepherd Brewery were terrified out of their minds. But this was for the human employees present – the Pokémon ones were ever more frightened, being able to understand what the massive blob was saying yet unable to make sense of it.

"Your'g honur, my client is definitely guilty! Or is it not guilteee? Me donno. But sirs and mama's, my bro is not accuzed of knocking up the President's waifuuuu. Case closed! No questions from the media, though I will accept payment in imported cheese and vodka. Anyone? EAT HYPER FARTSSS!"

BLLLLRRRRRPPPPPPPPP…

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In the early morning hours of a normal day in Jubilife City, Officer Jason Smythe was about to end his six-hour patrol shift. Some people would think working throughout the night would suck but for him, it meant that on most days he could enjoy a good book while parked in a corner under a streetlamp, save for the occasional speed demon he'd have to fine.

But today morning, for the first time in his career he was pulling someone over for not speeding. A big old rusty pickup truck, barely hitting fifteen kilometers per hour on a road with a minimum speed requirement of thirty.

"Mister, I'm going to need to see your…"

And before the good officer could even complete his sentence, he was out cold, having taken a face full of sleep powder.

The source of said grass type attack was right behind the wheel of the rusty old vehicle, contemplating as to why he and his partner had decided to steal a 1960's F-150 that was destined for the scrapyard. Oh wait, they had stolen it from a scrapyard.

Though as the grass type was contemplating such thoughts, his partner hopped out and snagged the keys to the JCPD issue motorcycle the now unconscious officer had left for them. Now, to answer the big question - how does one drive a motorcycle with a pair of pincers and two vines…

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Just a few miles away from the scene of a motorcycle jacking, a chopper not far from Twinleaf town could be seen making its way to said settlement, though the fact that said aircraft was on fire did not bode well for its passengers.

"Umm…guys? We might have a problem."

"What gave it away – the engine on fire or the warning alarm ringing" snarked Buizel.

"Yeah, yeah Mr. Snarky. We've apparently been flying without any oil for the past half-hour, long enough for the engine to fail without lubricant. There's a clearing up ahead. When I say jump, we bail" answered Totodile.

Before the other two Pokémon could question Totodile's response, they were promptly grabbed by said water type and tossed out of the chopper, falling swiftly to the ground.

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As the on-fire chopper spiraled out of control, primarily due to a lack of a pilot, it was most certainly heading for a crash landing. And as it struck the ground, it exploded, definitely killing anyone within.

Though just a few hundred feet in the air, a Starly could be seen flapping its wings like crazy, attempting to stay airborne while two Pokémon were hanging from its legs and a third sitting upon it.

"Don't you guys have the courtesy to lose a few pounds, especially you Buizel? And what happened to the guy who was as ripped as a Machoke?"

"Please don't make me hate myself any more than necessary. And I'm guessing you're a Starly for the exact same reason that Infernape is a Chimchar" asked Buizel as they landed.

"Most likely. So, do you guys have any explanations? Because just a few hours ago I remembered flying over Dewford town on my way to Slateport after spending a few weeks in Galar, catching some vague news on a giant Pokémon that formed a spiral of some sort in the sky and rampaging Gigantimax Pokémon..." asked Starly.

"Nope. Nothing – we're as clueless as you are." answered Totodile.

"Hmm…d'ya think Ash was involved those rumors you mentioned?" asked Buizel.

"Won't know unless we find Ash." replied Starly.

"Damm. So…what now? WISH protocols?" asked Totodile.

"Yep." responded Buizel.

"Twinleaf Town, 2 miles North" read aloud Starly, noticing that they were by a road with a sign that pointed straight ahead.

"Let's get going boys!" cheered Chimchar.

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Over the Orange Archipelago, a scream of terror startled a good number of Pokémon present along the beach of Trovita Island. The source? A young girl, barely ten years old, looking in horror at the sight of her badly bleeding and broken brother washed up upon the sand. It would be several hours later where she would actually get an answer as to how serious his injuries were from an ER surgeon – thirty-nine different broken bones, five torn muscles, several organs in critical condition, and missing genitalia.

Several miles away, the cause of the current state of the Trovita gym leader was cruising along the waters of the Orange Archipelago, riding a surfboard.

Now, if this were a human surfing, most would comment over the fact that surfing through the open ocean far away from the coastline was a bad idea. The fact that it was a Psyduck instead would divert the thought process of anyone stumbling upon this sight to 'Why is a Psyduck on a surfboard wielding a pair of nunchaku?'.

The Psyduck in question was busy practicing his martial arts – using psychic to commit homicides was great and all but was very easy to track by any competent psychic, ghost, or dark type trained to track down psychic signatures. Nunchakus on the other hand were easy to hide and death by blunt force trauma was something that most forensics teams would think was done by a human. And besides, he had legal dispersion to wield nunchakus – Cousin Perry was more than happy to set him up as a consultant with the Unovan FBI.

In the end, everyone was happy – the FBI got a capable Psyduck to assist with certain missions, he got to murder anyone who stood in the way of his goal of getting Ash and Misty to make babies, and Supreme Command was happy to have an excuse to get started on production of lightsaber nunchakus. Now, was Kanto to the east or to the west…

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After the two-week mark, Don had determined that Pichu was just about ready to start working on his electric type abilities, which currently consisted of the tiny mouse Pokémon using thunder shock on a metal target, from where the voltage of the attack would be stepped down before being sent through a set of wires connected to his cheeks, essentially creating a cycle of electric discharge from which Pichu's electric sacs would be slowly pushed to grow stronger.

And just ten days later, Pichu was now strong enough to actually battle, at least to the point of being able to repeatedly use thunder shock without immediately collapsing from exhaustion. And while Ash was happy that Pichu was making progress, said Pokémon was rather frustrated at where he stood in terms of strength. Here, the Supreme Commander of Ash's Pokémon, the bester of Legendaries, reduced to having thunder shock as his best move. When compared to the rest of the squad so far, he was still behind, with the other four of Ash's team (not counting Mew-owth – no making comparisons to him or anyone else on the team to legendaries until further notice) being reasonably competent, though Charmander was still upset over his missing wings and now empty sex life.

But currently, the group was leaving Viridian City for Pewter City, hoping to run into Brock at their destination. Though just before they left, Ash voiced a sudden thought that had popped into his head.

"Hey Misty. Do you think you'll be alright travelling through the Viridian Forest?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Did you forget that the Viridian Forest is full of bug types?"

"Eep!"

Unknown to the two trainers or their Pokémon, a figure had been observing their progress. There was much that needed to be reported in.

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