XX:
The settlement on his property lawsuit finally came through in February, much to Rafael's surprise. It wasn't so much that there was a settlement, nor that the death knell had been finally struck on his former relationship (as well as with a hefty check in quarterly payments for the foreseeable future), but that he was finally able to put it all behind him and actually move forward.
When one door closed, another opened. And Olivia had been graciously holding the door for him for quite some time, just waiting to usher him through.
For once, he got home before she did, and made himself useful about the place. He tidied up the living room quickly and got a load of towels going in the stacked washer-dryer before he checked in on Johanna. "Hey, kid," Rafael greeted from the doorway.
She glanced up from her laptop and slid her headphones off. "Hey. What's up?"
"I'm going to cook dinner tonight. Sound okay?"
Johanna shrugged. "I guess. You need any help?"
"Setting the table and getting drinks later – you talk to Liv at all today?"
"Nah." The teenager shrugged again. "I'm going to finish my homework and send it in and then I'll come help."
He watched her for a minute, then interrupted what she was doing. "Jo?" She turned her full attention back to him. "I know all of this has been really hard on you, honey. The last couple of months have been really tough for everyone, but I think you have it the worst –"
Johanna shook her head and sighed. "I'm okay," she denied. "I worry about you. You work so hard and you've got Liv and the baby and me and mom's stuff and all the work stuff and your mom and – "
He brushed it off. "Kid, I'm okay," Rafael said softly. "I just want you and Liv to be good. You know you can talk to me about anything, right? We're in this together."
Johanna gave him an unreadable look that would've disturbed him if he hadn't already clocked it as one of Rita's annoyed glances. "Dad," she said, "I'm not sure you could handle some of the things I need to talk to people about."
"Okay," he said, "but don't say I didn't offer."
"There is one thing I want to talk to you about."
He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms. "Shoot."
"My grandma. Not your mom – Aunt Lucia – but… Granny." Johanna sighed heavily and bit her lip. "She called and asked if I could meet her at Macy's to go shopping on Saturday and I know it's not our normal visiting day and I'm supposed to only do it on our legal visitation days with supervision but –"
"Macy's?" Rafael's brow raised. "Okay, that's a little low for her."
"It's closer to us?"
"Did you tell her where we live?" he inquired.
"No; it's on the paperwork from the lawyers."
He nearly kicked himself then; the one thing he should have had redacted for their own security and it had been forgotten in the rush to a quick settlement when Marmont had relinquished his parental rights and Rafael had swooped in to gain custody. Rita's mother played a long game and she was hatefully vicious – even if she didn't actually care about Johanna's well-being, she cared that she was her flesh and blood and it was enough. "Okay, well… a couple of hours should be okay, but not much more than that. And you have to leave the tracker on your phone," he said gravely. "After what happened to your mom and –"
"What happened to mom is why Granny says I shouldn't be with you and Liv," Johanna said softly.
That was like a slap. "If someone came after me again, they would come after you regardless of whether you were here or there," he snapped, his voice like ice. Rafael pushed off of the door jamb and scowled, vaguely registering a similar expression on his daughter's face. "I think your odds are better here. Liv's aim is fantastic."
That was enough to break Jo-jo's dismal frown into a tiny smile. "You love her because she scares the monsters away," she accused without malice.
"No," he said softly. "I love her. I don't need a reason. Just like I didn't need a reason to love you the moment your mom put you in my arms the first time and you looked up at me. It's going to be okay, Jo-jo. I promise."
"Okay," she agreed. She gestured at her computer and sighed. "Let me finish and I'll come help with dinner."
"You bet, kid." He watched her for a minute more, then went back into the kitchen to get started on dinner.
By the time she came out to the kitchen fifteen minutes later with freshly washed and dried hands and a small smile, he had chicken legs seasoned and in the oven with root vegetables to roast and was in the process of rinsing rice for the rice cooker. "Why don't you get the things we'll need to make cookies?" he suggested.
"Will Liv be home for dinner?" Johanna asked, immediately making her way to the pantry to get the flour and sugar.
"I hope," he replied. "Something must have happened at the station."
"I hope nothing bad," she said quietly.
He glanced up at her. "Honey –"
"I just don't want you to be really sad again," she interjected really quickly. "Because you love her a lot and it would be bad if something happened."
"I'm sure it's nothing." Even as he said the words, the seeds of doubt had been planted. He itched to reach for his phone until the temptation was too great and he grabbed it, dialing Liv by rote. She picked up on the third ring, just before it would have gone to voicemail. "Oh – good, I was worried something was wrong and you're okay," Rafael exhaled.
"Hey, yeah," Liv murmured. "I'm almost finished here. Then I can come home and contemplate how tired I am before I try to cook dinner –"
"You're not cooking anything. Dinner is already in the oven. You just come home and put your feet up," he said in a gentle tone.
"Did you have a good day? I know you had a big case –"
"It worked out in my favor," he said cheerfully. "I'll tell you about it later. We're making cookies for dessert, but I think we're out of chocolate chips, so I'm going to chop up one of your chocolate bars."
"That's fine. I'm supposed to cut back anyway," Liv sighed. "I'm meant to be good, whatever that means. Eat better, exercise, take better care of myself… I just want to sleep, eat salty and sugary things, and have sex. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing," he replied with a low chuckle. "Do you hear me complaining?"
"No, of course not," she countered. "What's for dinner?"
"Chicken, veg, and rice." He got a chocolate bar out of Liv's stash and put it on the counter. "Complaints?"
"No – we've got hot sauce, yes?"
"Of course." His lips twitched up into a small smile. "And antacids for the inevitable fall out."
"Good. Your child is a fickle little beast," she commented. He could hear her zip up her bag before she announced, "Okay, Fin's going to give me a ride home. Somebody made some noise about me not being alone on the subway and –"
"Yes," Rafael said softly, his voice lowered in earnest. "Thank goodness for that. Give Fin my thanks – in fact, tell him there's enough he can come up for dinner if he wants."
"I will," she promised. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he agreed.
It wasn't until he had hung up and caught the curious look from Johanna that he realized that she was even still in the room. "You two are kinda gross," the teenager accused.
Rafael shrugged his shoulders and reached for a clean knife before he began to chop the chocolate into rough pieces. "Maybe so," he said. "But I've made enough mistakes in my life. I don't intend to continue making them if I can avoid it."
Johanna went to the cupboard to get the containers of flour and sugar. "If you mean me and mom –"
"I mean a lot of things that I have to fix," Rafael commented dryly. "You were never a mistake, Jo. You've always been one of the things I've been proudest of, even when I clearly failed you."
"What can I do to help?" Johanna asked, and in her eager eyes, he saw himself but younger, before he'd been burnt out on life. Before everything had gone so awry.
"Two eggs, a cup of sugar, half a stick of butter, and a quarter teaspoon of vanilla in a bowl, kiddo, and we're going to mix them up really good," he said softly. Just the way his abuelita had learned to make chocolate chip cookies and had taught him to do it. A concession to white American mediocrity when he'd bring Rita over, yet more than once he caught abuelo and abuelita eating them just because.
By the time Liv got home, the kitchen was full of delicious smells, from the sugar of unbaked cookie dough to the warm scents of seasoned roasting meat and vegetables, and her tired visage perked up immediately as she came in the door. "Hey you," Olivia murmured, toeing off her flats and putting up her bag before heading over for a kiss. At five months, she was definitely showing off more than just a little bit of a rounded belly and they had been out shopping more than once for more comfortable clothes and shoes and other accoutrements.
"No Fin?"
"Not tonight – he's going back to the station to finish some things up." She quirked a little smile at him. "So…?"
"Court went well," he said. "We reached a settlement."
"Mutually beneficial?"
"I should say so." He smiled. "We should start looking for a bigger place."
"Rafa," she sighed. "Can it wait a couple of days?"
He ran his hand gently over her belly. "Yes… but this little one will be here before we know it."
"Don't remind me," she said. "I'd like to see you put together a crib."
He shrugged. "I have people for that."
"Name one."
"You can pay people –"
"Rafa."
"I can assemble –"
She gave him a gentle kiss. "Sweetheart."
He huffed. "Seriously, I think a couple of the assistant ADAs moonlight on the weekends."
Johanna spoke up from the table, "It can't be that hard to put together a crib."
Rafael laughed. "Okay, bets out on the table –"
"You're a terrible influence," Olivia scoffed. "On both our girls."
He hesitated a moment, then said, "You had them tell you, then?"
She shrugged a little and murmured, "I thought you might want to know."
"I do," he agreed. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there today –"
"It's okay," she assured him, her arms secure and warm around his waist, anchoring them together. "You needed to be where you were. The baby is safe and healthy and getting bigger by the day."
"Our daughter," he corrected.
"We have two daughters," she reminded him gently. "One who needs encouraging out here, and one who needs nurturing in here. I think both of them require cookies."
He grinned at her. "Is that a fancy way of saying you need cookies?"
"I definitely need cookies. And maybe a good cuddle."
"That I can comply with, my love," he agreed. He gave her a brief kiss on the lips and wondered how he had been so lucky after messing up so spectacularly in his life.
And then he realized that he really didn't care.
TBC...
