Chapter 10: Easiest "Fights" Ever

"HA-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!" An incredibly ugly man was laughing at the realization of his second life. Half that body consisted of an oversized head, seemingly frozen in a permanent mean grin, two oversized teeth and beady eyes completing the image. Balding purple hair shivered in the wind, slightly moving the lopsided crown.

Kurozumi Orochi laughed that annoying laugh. This was a second chance. He'd get back at those Samurai of Oden, his pathetic failures of tagalongs, Kaido, and everyone else who was there that day of the raid.

"Hmm…not sure what use you'll have," a cold, taunting voice from behind echoed.

The former Shogun turned, seeing a pale man with long, limp black hair, and golden slitted eyes.

"Don't you know who I am?!" Orochi squealed. "I am the Lord of Wano, show the proper respect!"

"Well," Orochimaru put a finger to his chin in faux-thought, "I don't think I will."

"How dare you!," Orochi shouted at the 'insolence', deciding that he'd really give this commoner something to be afraid of. "I am Shogun Orochi!"

With that, he utilized his Mythical Zoan Fruit, transforming into the terrifying, buck-toothed, Yamata no Orochi.

"Your name…is Orochi," the Rogue Leaf Ninja gazed up at the multi-headed serpent, and laughed. He laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

"The hell's so funny?!" the first head lunged.

Orochimaru nonchalantly sidestepped, barfed up his Kusanagi blade, and decapitated the offending head.

"I don't know whether to be amused, or insulted," the Ninja chortled. "All right, I'll let you in on the joke."

With that, he dislocated his jaw, and 9 white snake heads emerged from his gullet. They instantly grew and elongated, until the body followed.

Orochi's eyes widened in terror as his size was completely dwarfed, mind stunned at the sheer impossibility of the sight before him.

"This'll be quick," Orochimaru slithered out of the center snake's mouth.

It was.

After one minute, 50 seconds of which was savoring Orochi's terror, the Shogun was gone, and Orochimaru had in his hands, the single most redundant Devil Fruit in existence for himself.

"Oh well."

OoOoOoO

"HAHAHAHA!" Dabi, the ex-Toya Todoroki, cheered as his flames lit up everything as far as the eye could see.

"Heh…almost ready to reunite with Father Dearest," the Supervillain began making his way off the island. Noticing something in the corner of his eye, he turned.

A man was curled over the side of a dingy, emptying his stomach into the sea. "Oh man…of all the times to get separated from my buddies," Natsu Dragneel thanked everything holy when the tiny ship finally hit the sand, flopping onto solid ground.

"Aye Sir!" Happy the flying feline was irritatingly chipper to someone crawling their way out of seasickness.

"I'll be taking that ship!" Dabi blasted a wall of fire at the newcomer.

GULP!

And the fire had been eaten.

BURP! Natsu patted his extended belly.

"Oh…shit."

(One Buffet Later)

"Oh Natsu," Izuku Midoriya led his crew to their lost member.

The verdette paused.

"Is that Toya?"

"Oh, this is that asshole?!" Natsu pointed at the beaten Todoroki. "NEAT!"

OoOoOoO

KYAHAHAHA!

'That…is a lot of lemons.' Ochako Uraraka couldn't help but think to herself at her opponent's getup.

Miss Valentine unfurled her parasol, letting wind take her up.

"With my Kilo-Kilo Fruit…you'll be crushed into paste! 100K! 1,000K! 10,000K!"

Like a missile, the Baroque Works agent came hurtling down.

A flash of pink!

"What the…" the confused assassin found herself being held up with one hand under her behind.

"Are you done?" Ochako looked up, having not even budged.

"I'll be good."

OoOoOoO

Naruto was utterly frozen.

Across from him, this short, ugly man had done the unthinkable.

The old Cipher Pol member had shot ramen out of his nose.

"Ahh…you're paralyzed with fear!" Wanze proclaimed. "Very well, I'll end this quickly."

YAH!

"Behold, my Ramen Armor!"

"You…you…you," Naruto stumbled…before Chakra EXPLODED off of him.

"HOW DARE YOU!"

(Five Seconds Later)

"Whoa there buddy," Ichigo sat Naruto down.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," a vaguely human-shaped pile groaned to the side. "I'll never touch Ramen again."

"Don't you forget it!" the 7th Hokage said it, and it was so.

OoOoOoO

"So, heard you can turn into a wolf!" Kiba Inazuka shouted at a stranger in the distance. "Think you're hot shit?!"

His opponent quizzically turned, pointing at himself, the question mark almost visible over their head.

"Let me show ya something REAL cool!" Kiba boasted, Akamaru barking along. "FANG OVER FANG!"

"AWW! You're so CUTE!" Yamato, of the Mythical Dog-Dog Fruit: Model Makami, gushed and spread her arms.

SQUISH!

And just like that, Yamato was squeezing Kiba and Akamaru to his chest.

"Who's a good boy?! Who's a good boy?!" The oversized Pirate was scratching right behind the ears, just like Akamaru liked it.

Kiba was out cold, knocked out by boobies.

Winner…Akamaru?

OoOoOoO

"HAAA! HAHAHA!"

"The Hell?" Kisame looked up.

Yep, that's a broomstick flying up there.

"I'll get you all my pretties! And your little frog too!"

"Hey!" Tsu protested.

The Wicked Witch of the West cackled and hurled a fireball.

"Dual Water Shot!" Jinbe cupped before hands before flinging their contents.

With one, the fireball went out. With the other…

The Witch was doused.

"WHAAA!"

The broomstick began to tailspin.

"I'M MELTING! MELTING! WHAT A WORLD!"

"Oh my Goda!" Jinbe's eyes widened.

A black witch's outfit and broom flopped onto the ground.

Nobody said anything for a solid minute. The Fishman's jaw stayed dropped.

"PfffHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kisame began rolling on the ground. Grimmjow was bending over in a belly laugh.

"It's not funny," Halibel insisted.

"Yes it is!" Kisame kept on laughing.

Jinbe just stood there the whole day.

A.N. This is just me messing around…getting back to the swing of things!

Cause is there ANYONE weaker to Water…than the Wicked Witch of the West?!

Til Next Time…Have Fun! Stay Safe!