Radioactive Man A Radioactive Man movie is being written in Springfield and the studio are offering every kid in town the opportunity to star as Fallout Boy, Radioactive Man's sidekick.
PlotA film studio are being chased out of Hollywood for not paying their bills. They drive past Springfield and get the idea to shoot a Radioactive Man movie there.
They then buy a contract with Krustylu studios to sponsor the movie.
Meanwhile at Android's dungeon comic book store Bart is looking for a comic but he's read all of them and nothing new interests him.
"I even read the one where Radioactive Man marries himself..." Bart sighed. "None of these inferior comics can hold a candle to Radioactive Man."
"Except Candleja-" said Oscar but he was suddenly kidnapped by Candlejack. I can say his name because I'm the narrator. Oh wait he kidnapped and tied me up as well.
Milhouse has got into a cheap knock off called Radiation Dude.
"Well all the comics have been getting rather crummy lately. That's why I've started reading Radiation Dude." said Milhouse.
"Milhouse Radiation Dude is just a cheap knock off of Radioactive Man..." said Bart.
Explain..." said Milhouse.
"Radioactive Man's catch phrase is Up and a at'em! With the At'em spel like atom in a delicious pun!" Bart was fanboying.
"Go on..." said Milhouse.
"Where as radiation Dude has the similar but lame "Up and let's go...,"
"So you kids fancy yourselves experts on Radioactive man?" Comic book Guy asked.
"Between us we've read all 642 issues!" said Bart.
"Including the special edition limited copy where Radioactive Man and Fallout Boy are killed on every page!" said Milhouse.
"Then it should please you tykes to learn there is to be a Radioactive Man movie!" said Comic Book Guy.
Bart and Milhouse gasped as their hats flew off.
"I have got to do something about that air conditioner..." said Comic Book Guy.
"But who will be Radioactive Man?" Milhouse asked.
"I will tell you urchins. In seven minutes..." said Comic Book Guy. He waddled off to his computer in the back.
"At slash dot nerd dot obsessive. Need know RM pic." He asked some nerds online who was going to be Radioactive Man. The nerds were Benjamin, Doug and Gary. Homer's friends from college and a guy wearing a Happy Little Elves t shirt and a guy with green Vulcan ears and Prince...
"Purple raaaaaaaiiin!" Prince sang.
...
In a board meeting they discuss various ideas for the movie. A nerd is hiding under the table recording everything.
However, an elderly member of the board keeps suggesting they cast the original Radioactive Man because kids will want to see the original Radioactive Man. "I don't see why we have to cast Rainier Wolfcastle. I say we cast Dirk Richter. Kids will love to see the original Radioactive man!"
"I keep telling you his 85 years old and dead!" said the CEO.
"And?" asked the elderly board member.
"Arnold Schwarzenegger sliced off his arms with an elevator in Total Recall..." said another board member.
"See you at the party Richter!" said Arnold Schwarzenegger holding Richter's arms.
"Granted... but..." said the older board member.
"Besides we want to keep away from the campy seventies TV series as possible!" said the assistant CEO.
There is a flashback of an episode of Radioactive Man where he and Fallout boy encounter the scoutmaster.
"Billowing Backpacks Radioactive Man!" Yelled Fallout Boy. "It's the worst super villain of them all! The scoutmaster!"
A gay scoutmaster played by Paul Lynde appeared.
"I see him Fallout Boy." said Radioactive Man.
"Go get em boys!" said the scoutmaster. Boy scouts appeared from nowhere and started a ring of fire. (Oh yeah!- Red space coyote from Homer's chilli induced hallucination.)
"Don't be afraid to use your nails boys! Ahahahaha!" The scoutmaster laughed in camp tone.
Radioactive Man and Fallout Boy started beating up the scouts. However suddenly party music started and bikini clad ladies appeared and started dancing. Soon everyone was dancing for some reason...
After the daydream/flashback ended we were back in the boardroom and the CEO shivered in disgust at the thought of the campiness of the seventies Radioactive Man series.
"We need a city with a nuclear reactor and a gorge and a well." said the CEO.
"I'll check the newspaper."
Springfield seemed already aware of the movie. Probably because of the nerd hiding under the table covertly spying on the board meeting. They sent out a badly spelt request to have the movie shot in their town.
"Springfield eh? This place seems good. It's quiet, no one knows where it is and they don't need no fancy ad or proper spelling!" said the CEO reading Springfield's newspaper ad. "Get me tickets to whichever state Springfield is in!"
We cut to Springfield. Citizens are walking about. Including Moleman. Hehehehe! Moleman...
...
A Radioactive Man iris out opens the next scene.
"Okay so we have a multi million dollar budget to write a film." said the CEO.
The CEO and crew member executives were talking with Mayor Quimby. He was more than happy to offer his help in anyway he could. Including with frightening suggestions just to make the film crew's job easier and to appease them.
"My town is at your um service boys! No really, name anything you need and I'll err make sure you get it!"
"Thanks Mayor Quimby." said the executives and directors as cameras were set up.
"No really boys. We'll blow up our dams, destroy forests, anything!" said Mayor Quimby. Holy crap! He's predicting future episodes! "If there's a species of animal bothering your camera men or sniffing around your equipment! By gum! I'll have the local army called to wipe it out!"
"no look! We just want to make a movie! Not kill things!" said an executive for the company that was shooting the Radioactive Man movie.
"I want to kill things..." said a gaffer.
The CEO groaned and face palmed.
Elsewhere, Freddy Krueger Groundskeeper Willie from the last Halloween special was back...
"How's that feel, ya blockhead?" He clobbered Inane Brian with a big wooden mallet.
"Oh, they're goin' ta have to glue you back together... IN HELL!" He said while presumably dismembering a kid with hedge clippers.
Bart winced. "School is gonna be interesting today..."
Oscar arrived and saw Freddy Krueger Willie killing other pupils.
"Welcome to Prime Time! Bitch!" And other Freddy Krueger quotes...
Oscar seethed and red lightning sparked from him.
"Ach! What do we have here?" said Freddy Krueger Groundskeeper Willie.
"I don't like bullies, I don't like threats, and I don't like you!" Oscar snapped.
"I'm getting scared! Shakin' in my boots." Freddy Krueger Willie remarked in a mocking tone.
Oscars eyes flowed red as he called upon his evil powers. "Don't test me..."
"Things have been awfully dead around here. Gahahahaha!" Willie laughed. Then he gurgled as Oscar perforated him with Liquid metal terminator arm blades from Terminator 2. Yeah Oscar can turn his arms into razor sharp metal blades.
Bart gawked at him horrified.
...
Soon news reached Springfield Elementary School. Skinner announced through the the intercom that there was a new Radioactive Man movie coming out.
Well actually he called it, "Radio Man."
"It's Radioactive Man, idiot!" Nelson yelled.
"Strange, I shouldn't have been able to hear that..." said Skinner over PA.
"Radio Man? I'd rather they made Radio Gaga. All we hear is Radio Gaga! Radio Goo Goo... Radio Gaga!" Oscar sang and played his guitar.
Bart laid upon his folded up arms exasperated.
Milhouse was concerned over Oscar's constant media references.
Skinner continued his announcement. That the school was being used to hold auditions from the students for the role of Fallout Boy.
Everyone was so excited that their hats flew off.
"We really need to get the suction on the air conditioners fixed..." Skinner remarked on the intercom.
Elsewhere the Toons were writing a film! And no, it doesn't involve basketball and live action basketball players.
"And action!" said Flame Magmarashi.
"Ah. Mango juice!" said a cartoon duck. A palm tree fell on him.
"Cut! Stunt duck! Bring on the stunt duck!" Flame sighed.
Inane Brian was reluctantly dressing up in a costume. "I'm not sure about this."
"Don't worry, you'll be a star." said Flame.
"You think so?" said Inane Brian.
"I'm the director. I don't think. Now knock em dead." He ushered Brian on stage. "Sucker..." he said to the camera.
"And action!"
Inane Brian was sat in a deck chair advertising a mango drink.
"Ah... Mango fruit..." A palm tree fell on him, smooshing him in a comical manner.
"Cut! Not fruit! Juice! Mango juice!" Flame yelled. "Roll the next clip..."
Take 2!
"Ah... Mango drink..." said Brian. The palm tree fell on him again.
"Mango juice!" Flame yelled.
Take 3.
"Mango liquid refreshment..." said Brian clearly concussed with a bump on his head and his eyes rolling about.
A tree fell on him again.
Take 4.
"Mango wango..." Inane Brian was very, very dizzy or concussed.
Take 5.
"I'll take Charlie Weaver to block..." Brian drooled, clearly having taken too many knocks to the noggin.
Flame winced.
...
One day at breakfast Bart scared the cat and startled everyone by practicing his lines for the role of Fallout Boy.
"Look out Radioactive Man!" Bart yelled. "The sun is exploding again!"
"Bart. I know you're really excited about auditioning for your little superhero movie but can you not run around the house yelling like that!" Marge told him off.
"Who on Earth is Bart yelling at?!" Homer asked. "Marge..." he asked squinting suspiciously at Marge. Do you have other men in this house? Radioactive men...?"
"Oh for crying out loud!" Marge sighed.
Radioactive green glowing co workers of Homer, including his friends Lenny and Carl arrived.
"Marge we have no idea how Homer brought home some highly volatile uranium. But I would not go down to the basement if I were you!" said Carl glowing bright green with radiation.
Marge face palmed exasperated.
"Bart why are you doing this?" Marge sighed.
"I'm practicing my Fallout Boy dialogue. If I get his role, I could finally come to terms... with this funny little muddle called Bart." said Bart.
"Uh did you just say you're a muggle?" Oscar asked wincing.
"No I said muddle. And we call em Nomajs over here in the states..." said Bart.
"Homer you better finish your morning coffee and get to work." said Marge.
"I have plenty of time to stop at Lard Lad's along the way." said Homer.
"Okay but don't steal his giant metal donut again... we only just got the house rebuilt..." said Marge.
Homer sighed and went to work.
"Look out Radioactive man!" Bart yelled.
"Bart! Enough! Sit down and eat your breakfast!" said Marge. Bart complied.
"Or complode..." said Oscar.
"Oz that's not a word." Lisa sighed.
Inane Brian still wouldn't read the script for the mango drink commercial correctly.
"Mango wango..." He got clobbered again...
Bart was truanting again and was up to something.
"Milhouse, c'mon. We're s'posed to be cherry-bombing Dr. Nick's organ donor deliveries today."
"Hell no!" Oscar yelled. Startling Bart. "That is not funny you wannabe terrorist!"
"Okay, what should we do to Dr Nick's organ donor clinic then?" Bart groaned.
"Simple. Get me a cow skull to wear and I'll go Mola Ram in there with the hearts..." said Oscar.
"Uh no..." said Bart.
Plot 2At Moe's Barney and the barflies discusses the super hero movie and that the crew were looking for a local child to play Fallout boy.
"Everyone's yakking about this Radioactive man thingy. Even my son! It's driving me nuts!" said Homer at Moe's.
"I remember when I was one of the original Little Rascals." said Moe.
"You were in the Little Rascals?" asked Carl.
"Which one? The ugly one?" Lenny asked.
"Were you the ugly one?" Barney asked belching.
"No! I was the tough one, Smelly." said Moe.
He explains his bit was looking in an exhaust pipe and getting soot on his face and in his eyes. However he lost his job because he killed the original Alfalfa by slamming his head repeatedly against the sidewalk in anger because Alfalfa stole his bit.
In a Simpsonised parody of the Little Rascals...
"Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts." said Moe as Smelly.
"Oh no! My favourite marble went into that exhaust pipe!" said um... Porky.
Moe went to do his bit but Alfalfa got there first and stared in the exhaust pipe and got a face full of soot.
"You stupid little! You stole my bit!" Young Moe beats the crap out of Alfalfa.
"Oh my god! He killed the original Alfalfa!"
"You bastard!" Kyle from South Park yelled for some reason.
Moe sighed, he had it all but he had to lose his temper.
"Shame. Those soot in face from the exhaust pipe gags sounded funny. Wouldn't survive in today's politically correct world..." said Homer.
Carl glared at him.
Moe sighed and wiped down the bar with his favourite rag. Which later gets its own episode...
Elsewhere Oscar has a date.
However he was going on his date wearing his usual. His favourite blue sweater with green triangles and brown shorts and sneakers.
Inane Brian taking a swig of his bottle of mango juice sighed.
"You, my friend, could use some advice." The black haired Toon with buck teeth sighed resting his arm on Oscar's shoulder.
"I'll dress how I want... If I want to wear my usual sweater I will..." Oscar sniffed his sweater and gagged. "Even if it is a little ripe..."
Inane Brian sighed.
...
Meanwhile Rainer Wolfcaster (McBain) was casted as Radioactive Man. But he wouldn't say his line right.
"Up and at them!"
"No! Up and atom!" said the CEO/director.
"Up and at them!"
"Up and atom!
"Up and at them!"
"Oh what's the use! We'll dub it over in the edits..." the director sighed.
Bart who was watching this sighed. "Well that's still less embarrassing than that time Oscar got lemon juice in his eye..."
"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" Oscar squinting from citric acid in his eye cried.
In the present though.
Lisa didn't care for the new Radioactive Man film. She wasn't interested in silly superheroes in capes and garish, colourful costumes.
"Or wearing their underwear over their pants instead of inside them..." said Lisa.
Doug as The Quail frowned.
"Yeah but what if a really cute boy gets picked to play Fallout Boy?" Janey asked.
Lisa winced. "Books and grades are more important to me right now than boys..." said Lisa.
Janey sighed.
Oscar met his date.
There was a girl most of the boys in third and fourth grade deemed to be incredibly beautiful.
"Don't Screwy's up..." said Inane Brian.
"I won't." said Oscar.
The girl was waiting.
"You're absolutely stunning." Oscar wooed her.
A visible green vapour of Oscar's stench from his sweaty old sweater he wore all week stung her nose.
"So's your odour..." The girl fainted.
Oscar was embarrassed.
Inane Brian sighed.
...
In town, everyone got movie fever from the new Radioactive man movie coming out. People were offering their shops to be in the film, there was a hair and wig store selling Horrible toupees. Oscar went in and came out wearing a blue beehive like Marge's.
He went "Hrrrrrrrmmmmmm!" Like Marge she was exasperated with someone.
Snake wore a sign reading "Give me a million dollars or I'll shoot you!"
All the school pupils got lessons off to audition for Fallout Boy.
Bart is in the corridor wearing a towel as a cape.
"Look out Radioactive Man! Dr Crab has a sonic laser!" said Bart dramatically.
Everyone applauded him and he wet off doing a vampire thing with his cape, you know where they pull their cape with their arm outstretched and peer over the cape and skulk off. The cape flourish...
"Wow! Totally awesome!" Were numerous cheers.
"Thank you! Thank you!" said Bart doing vampire cape flourishes.
"Bart don't... That's a villainous vampire thing, not a super hero thing..." said Ace the vampire boy, wearing a vampire cape.
Nelson laughed. "Haw Haw!" Then he laughed at his reflection in a hall mirror. "Haw- Aw... That's mean! I get why people don't like being laughed at..." Nelson said ashamed of himself upon feeling what it's like to be laughed at.
Martin arrived. "Please... it's all in the delivery..." he coughed to clear his throat. "Now is the winter of our discontent..."
"Oh no! Run!" Richard screamed because Martin was being a dork reciting Shakespeare...
Everyone fled screaming.
Most of them weren't what the director was looking for... Except Bart who had charisma and Milhouse who had the look they were going for. They wanted Fallout Boy to be a geek.
"Bart, come back when you're a little taller and we might consider." said the directors.
Oscar put Bart on a medieval rack.
"Nnnnngh! Come on pull Oz! Pull!"
"I am!" said Oscar.
"I knew we should have gone with the horses." said Bart.
"Bart that's a method of medieval execution. You'll be torn apart!" said Oscar.
"Just keep pulling!" said Bart.
"That's what she said..." said Oscar chuckling.
Bart glared at him.
...
Some time later Bart, a lot taller returned to the auditions for Fall out Boy at school. He turned up at the audition dressed in a striped suit and shoes with high soles like Geri Halliwell's. He had also bought a chihuahua for some reason.
"Why a chihuahua?" Oscar asked.
"I dunno." said Bart.
Unfortunately the director had already decided on Milhouse as being the right candidate for Fallout Boy.
"Put some gel in that blue haired boy's hair and style it." said the narrator. Eventually Milhouse came back from the stylist with a big blue quiff and in costume.
"Perfect!" said the director. "You're hired!
"What?!" Bart yelled disappointed.
"Sorry Bart, but Milhouse has the look for Fallout Boy." said the director.
"Mr Director. I need my glasses on. I can't see without them." Milhouse whined.
"Sure, why not?" said the director.
Bart groaned. "You're turning Fallout Boy into a geek!"
"Uh Fallout Boy is a geek. Bart have you actually read the lines?" Oscar asked.
"Jiminy jillickers... What the heck?! What sort of wiener catchphrase is that?!" Bart groaned.
"That's his catchphrase. Do you actually read the comics kid?" the director asked.
"Of course! I'm the number one fan! I have nearly every issue! Barring when my allowance can't afford a copy." Bart replied. "And I thought you were trying to avoid the campiness of the seventies series..." Bart sighed.
"We've got a film to shoot, everyone out! Except you Milhouse." said the director.
"Look Man! I've actually fought alongside the actual Radioactive man in this, Bartman meets Radioactive Man. For the Nintendo..." said Bart.
The auditions director exploded.
"Ay carumba!" Bart was shocked by the man exploding into tiny bits.
"Don't feel bad, Bart." said Oscar as they both walked down the halls of the school. "Besides what sort of name for a sidekick is Fallout Boy?! Didn't they name a tween boy band that..."
"It's part of the theme Oscar. Radioactive, Fallout?" Bart explained. "Anyway they've ruined it now by making Fallout Boy a little dweeb like Milhouse." Oscar winced at him. "No offence to him, he is my best friend, but he's the sidekick in our friendship and I'm the leader because he can just be so..."
"Geeky?"
"Yeah! And I'm the cool one!" Bart explained.
Milhouse's house.
"But Mom I don't want to be in a film!" Milhouse whined.
"Well you're acting Sugarplum, because at least you'll provide for the family." said Luanne sweetly to Milhouse while glaring at Kirk.
Kirk huffed at her. Luanne's father wasn't paying him enough.
...
One day Bart went to visit Milhouse on set.
"Hey Milhouse!" said Bart. However Milhouse exploded. "Milhouse!" Bart cried.
"Stupid robot wasn't supposed to explode yet!" A tech operator yelled.
However Bart found Milhouse again. However he got ran over by a van. Bart gasped in horror. However the Milhouse/Fallout Boy was actually the cigar smoking midget.
"You're not Milhouse!" said Bart.
"I play Milhouse when he gets hurt. Ohhhhhhh..." said the bald cigar smoking midget.
"Ok now for the real Fallout Boy! Milhouse!" said the narrator. Milhouse came out of his trailer and laid under the fan with a X ray gun pointed at him.
"Whoa man, do we really need an actual working X ray gun?" Otto asked.
"Whooooa! Otto? You're working on this film?" Bart asked.
"Of course! They needed someone to drive this truck!" Otto explained.
"We're trying to shoot a movie here! Can all bystanders wait until between scenes for autographs..." the director asked.
Bart waited until Milhouse had finished filming.
"Ow! I think I'm lying on a broken beer bottle!" said Milhouse.
"Good! Work with it!' said the director.
The X Ray gun zapped Milhouse with X rays.
Bart sighed as he walked home.
"With this Radioactive Man superhero flick, you'd think this town would have comic book conventions etc..." said Oscar.
"I think there's something going on at Android's Dungeon. Kids are turning up dressed in costume." said Bart reading his texts on his cell.
"Let's go!" said Oscar.
"I dunno... I'm feeling a little blue..." said Bart.
"I'm blue, double Dee double die... double Dee double die... double Dee double die..." Oscar sang.
Bart frowned at him.
Oscar whistled to Blue Da Ba Dee Da Ba Die.
"Okay fine! We'll go to Android's dungeon!" Bart groaned.
Plot 3Bart was in his room moping. Lisa came in.
"George Burns was right... Fame is a hideous bitch goddess..." said Bart.
"George watch your language!" Mr Burns outside on the street scolded George Burns.
"Sorry Cousin Chuck..." said George Burns.
"Don't call me that in front of the lowly peasants!" Mr Burns snapped. "Stop staring!" He yelled at the townsfolk staring bat his domestic.
"Cheer up Bart. Milhouse will need a friend on his road to stardom! Someone to be there for him! Someone to rub lotion on his back." said Lisa.
"Lis, I am not rubbing Milhouse's weird stinky ointment into his boils..." Bart said in disgust.
"Okay someone to hurl whiskey bottles at." said Lisa.
"No. I'm gonna be hurling whiskey bottles at him in the dark future where I'm a failed rockstar or a male stripper." said Bart.
In the future.
"This single is called My parents took my crack." said adult Bart as a sleazy rockstar. He played but people hated him and booed and jeered. And someone beaned him with a beer bottle. He lied on the stage concussed.
Later he was in his room with a broken TV with no signal illuminating the room. Bart was lying on the floor drunk or high on drugs.
"Bart come on, were on in five minutes..." said Adult Milhouse.
"Bugger off..." Bart swore.
"You used to be cool..." said Milhouse.
"I said shove it!" Bart threw a whiskey bottle at him.
The present. Bart's room.
"Uh okay..." said Lisa. Anyway she then must have said something nice and heartfelt because they hugged. D'aaaaaaaaawwwww!
"D'aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!" Oscar cooed, thinking them hugging was cute.
Homer came in.
"Hey kids! Guess what! The movie crew working on Milhouse's dumb hero movie want to record some scenes in our house! In fact they're using Bart's room right now!" said Homer as camera crew cane in and set up cameras.
"Uh this room is gonna stand in for Fallout Boy's/Rod Runtledge's bedroom." said a crew member.
"Hi Lis." said Milhouse dressed as Fallout Boy's regular mortal self, Rod Runtledge as he laid on Bart's bed.
"Milhouse get off of my bed!" Bart yelled.
"While we're filming its Milhouse's bed." said a film crew member. "Now vamoose kids."
...
Oscar was in the hall pestering the director.
"I just think, the movie would work better with cartoon slime monsters tormenting Fallout Boy in it..." said Oscar.
"Uh no..." said the director.
"Or headless clowns!" said Oscar.
"Uh no..."
"Zombie cheerleaders!"
"Quite bothering the director boy..." said Homer shooing Oscar away. "I know you! From that other film you did! That political drama! And let me tell you, I've never walked out of a movie before but Yeeeeeuck!" Homer obviously disliked his last film.
"Mr Simpson how about you help yourself to the food truck outside?" said the director.
"Hey!" Homer made a short Yelp with joy as he ran off so fast he left a dust cloud in his shape.
"Mr Simpson?!" asked the director.
"I'm dust cloud Homer." said the Homer shaped dust cloud.
While Homer helped himself to the buffet/food truck, Oscar went up to the attic. Milhouse curious followed him.
Hugo was mixing chemicals. He hissed wary of the new visitor, Milhouse.
"It's that blue hair... no one likes it..." said Oscar to Milhouse quietly.
Milhouse frowned at him.
"Get out of my attic! Plebeian!" Hugo yelled at Milhouse.
"Yes sir!" Milhouse went back down the ladder.
"What about me, Hugey?" Oscar asked.
"You can stay, because you've been the only person who's ever been nice to me." said Hugo. "Unfortunately as a supervillain mad scientist I am incapable of being nice back."
"For an evil boy genius, you sure are naive." said Oscar.
Hugo frowned. "How so?"
"You've been nice to me loads of times." Oscar smiled sweetly.
"Oh leaping electrons! I'm turning good! It's insufferable!" Hugo groaned.
Oscar winced.
...
Milhouse was in his trailer.
"Hi Bart." Milhouse greeted Bart.
"Milhouse you've got to get me on the film! Look I'll even be an extra! Please!" Bart begged. "I'll be his stunt double!"
"Sorry Bart, that's the director's decision." Milhouse replied.
"Milhouse we need you to do the Jiminy Jillikers! line again." The director asked.
"But we've done that line already! We did it five times, but you wanted me to do it again!" Milhouse ranted.
"And again and again and again! Let's go!" barked the director, dragging him outside.
"Maybe I don't want to be in this movie..." Bart decided, based on how pushy the director was.
One afternoon Krusty wanted to be in the movie. So the made him the main antagonist Angry the clown aka Silly Sailor/Dr Clownilious.
"Cooooool!" said Bart.
"I won't let you down! Well except for my Silly Sailor... I am not good at that..." said Krusty.
"Who's Silly Sailor?" Bart asked.
"The main villain's maritime alter ego..." said Oscar.
Elsewhere on the set.
"Mister, why are you painting that horse to look like a cow? Why not just use cows..." said Ralph.
"Because cows don't look like cows on film..." said the guy painting a horse.
"What happens if you want to use horses?" Ralph asked.
"We just tie two cats together." said the guy.
"What if you want cats in your movies?" Ralph asked.
"Kid you're bothering me..." said the guy.
Homer saw some rough necks resting. occasionally they'd stretch about and grunt and yawn while resting against their truck.
"Can I join you?" Homer asked.
"Sure." said a rough neck.
Homer sat down and stretched and grunted like a rough neck. The sleepy rough necks exaggerated their stretches and grunts to compete against him in some sort of rivalry.
Milhouse and McBain as Radioactive Man and Fallout boy were upside down dangling by their legs in a cage that was part of a water world villain lair.
"Jiminy Jillickers Radioactive man! Silly sailor has captured us and locked us up in his floating aqua world!" said Milhouse as Fallout Boy.
"Ugh! How could this get any worse?" Radioactive Man tempted fate.
"Well I'm here." said Kevin Kostner dangling upside down by his ankles.
"Nooooooooooooo!" Radioactive Man screamed.
...
Oscar at the Simpsons saw something awful. Probably Selma naked or something.
"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" he cried.
"Maybe try wearing your goggles Oz? Instead of just as a fashion accessory?" Lisa asked.
Oscar pulled down his green anime goggles over his eyes.
"I only do this during a tense battle against evil when I'm about to turn the tables on my enemies." said Oscar.
Lisa sighed.
The directors are studying an area of town where they're filming the next act.
"Hmmmmmm... this scene needs Radioactive Man and Fallout Boy fighting a giant monster." said the ginger haired director.
Lard Lad stomped up to them and did the iconic Godzilla roar.
"Wow! A real live monstrous advertisement! We won't need a guy in a rubber costume and a tiny cardboard city!" said the director.
Lard Lad stood there looking smug.
"Oh Gee, the boss isn't gonna like this..." Squeaky Voiced Teen sighed going back inside the donut store to explain Lard Lad had come to life again.
Elsewhere Oscar and Avery Texan, Rich Texan's gay grandson basically, and Lisa were walking about town when fissures erupted in the sidewalk.
Freddy Krueger Groundskeeper Willie appeared.
"Glad to rake your acquaintance, laddy! Ach!" said the undead Scotsman trying to be a spoof of Freddy Krueger.
Oscar took a martial arts stance.
"Hoo-wee!" Avery Texan cheered. "This showdown'll be as entertainin' as watchin' a baby buzzard jumpin' out the nest." He was raised as a cowboy oil tycoon by his cowboy grandfather so um he acts like a cowboy...
Lisa winced at the effeminate cowboy dressed kid from school. Apparently he insisted he was gay. And that his Republican oil tycoon grandpa didn't approve.
"Wait! If Willie's here, we must be asleep!" said Lisa. Cough Nightmare on Elm Street cough.
"Wait I'm in a dream?! I'm gonna strip off naked!" Oscar yelled with delight.
"Oz no!" Lisa groaned.
"I'm gonna get naked!" Oscar undressed...
...
And now for more failed auditions and a time travelling Marge.
"Well it looks like the world is safe again. Eh Fallout boy?" Lunch Lady Doris was doing lines.
"What's for lunch tomorrow?" Ralph asked.
"Next..." Bart as director groaned.
"Chicken necks?" Ralph asked.
Nelson in the cafeteria laughed at his reflection again. "Haw Haw! Aw geez! I am mean! No wonder no one came to my birthday party..."
"Is that so?!" said Marge from a few seasons in the future.
"Bart's Mom?! What are you doing here?!" Nelson asked.
"Making my kids go to your birthday! I didn't bring them up to rudely turn down invites! For I have a wooden spoon!" said Marge from the future.
"And I can turn you into a pumpkin with one thought, mom... so watch it!" said Bart reminding her of his evil psychic powers.
Elsewhere, Ace Walker with Inane Brian.
"Are you alright? You've been in a daze for… well, days." said Ace.
"I've been hit on the head several times with a palm tree. We Toons are indestructible, but that still hurts!" said Brian.
"I thought you two hated each other." said McGee from McGee and Me.
"No... We hate you, Christofascist. I'm a Zoroastrian!" Ace yelled.
"We're just rivals. As the smart Toon and Dumb Toon." said Inane Brian.
"Brain doesn't really Hate Pinky..." said Ace.
"Yes I do..." said Brain.
Pinky cried.
"Anyway, how are the Mango juice commercials going..." said Ace to Brian.
"Mango Wango..." said Brian pretending he got concussed again.
Elsewhere.
"It's not fair Milhouse is Fallout Boy! I wanna be famous!" Bart whined.
"Okay, I didn't do it, boy." Oscar snarked.
"Okay fine... forget it..." Bart sighed.
"Ach! Don't ignore me! I control everything in this dream!" said Groundskeeper Willie as his Freddy Krueger spoof self.
"Uh no you don't. That's the thing that doesn't make sense!" said Oscar. "We're in my sleeping mind, my imagination... My subconscious self..."
Clowns appeared!
"Oh heck!" Lisa groaned.
Plot 4Milhouse was doing a scene where Fallout boy was webbed to a wall with sticky green goo.
"Stick around Fallout Boy. I'll get us out of this mess..." said Radioactive Man as Fallout boy grunted and struggled.
"Oh real funny Radioactive man! Ungh! Nnnnnnngh!" Fallout Boy grunted as he struggled and squirmed stuck in the goo.
"Uh... who authorised this scene to be recorded?" The ginger haired director asked.
"I did." said Oscar pointing a gun at him.
"Okay that was great but let's do another take, look alive out there Crud." said Oscar.
Crud the slime monster from Winnie the Pooh was there for some reason.
However one day during filming of an expensive scene at the nuclear power plant, Milhouse was nowhere to be seen.
"Where the hell is Milhouse? Mr Burns only allowed us to shoot this scene once so we can't make any mistakes!" asked the director. "Fallout Boy is supposed to come in and untie Radioactive Man before we flush this actual acid all over Rainer Wolfcastle.
"Acid?!" Rainer asked.
"Goggles on Rainer! Action!" said the director. However Milhouse didn't turn up and Rainer was washed away by cartoonish deadly acid.
"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" Rainer yelled as he was washed away. He was flushed out of the power plant and went flying into the wall of a trailer. He yelled as his costume dissolved from the acid.
"We're screwed..." the director sighed.
"Hey, I want to talk to the producer about this coffee!" Krusty as Dr Clownelius yelled holding a cup of coffee.
Elsewhere Bart was up to no good with Ace, Oscar, Inane Brian and Lewis.
"And then we pour potato bugs all over Skinner." said Bart.
"You're gonna have to enlighten Oscar, because he's British and won't know what those are." said Ace.
"Ugh... Colorado potato beetles..." said Bart.
"In my neck of the woods that's what we call Jerusalem crickets..." said Inane Brian.
"Well to my family a potato bug is what Oscar's people would call a wood louse." said Lewis.
Bart sighed exasperated.
"I really wanted to be Fallout Boy..."
...
Later on the studio came up, with emergency ideas to shoot around Milhouse's absence.
"We'll use footage of Fallout Boy and splice scenes together! Here's what we've done so far!" said a studio producer.
A scene was shown of Radioactive man in a cave fighting orange goblin like things with an off screen Fallout Boy. Then it lazily cut to Milhouse as Fallout Boy in an empty field saying "Jiminy Jillikers!" over and over.
"Tim, you're fired." said the angry director.
"Hooraaayyy!" Tim cheered.
Meanwhile in town everyone was looking for Milhouse including his parents.
Bart goes looking for him.
"I'll check out all his own haunts."
Bart headed to Androids Dungeon where Comic book guy and Otto were having a Skilletrix race.
"Have you guys seen Milhouse?" He asked.
"No, now go away..." said Comic Book Guy rudely.
"What are you doing...?" Bart asked.
"Racing. The winner gets to be champion of the universe!" said Otto.
"Uh okay..." said Bart.
Bart then headed to a creepy abandoned Spirograph factory. Scary music played.
Inside, Bart found a purple haired man drawing with Spirographs.
"Dr S?" Bart asked.
"Yes? I'm rather busy drawing with Spirographs here." said Dr S.
"Have you seen Milhouse?" Bart asked.
"No." said Dr S drawing.
"Okay." said Bart.
"Hold on. Did you know no Spirograph diagram is ever the same?" Dr S asked.
"Uh... fascinating... I'll remember that..." said Bart leaving.
"You won't..." said Dr S.
He went back to drawing Spirograph diagrams... what a sad, strange man.
...
Clancy Wiggum sends out police dogs to find Milhouse.
"Yeah but when they find him, will they just find him? Or find him and kill him?" Kirk asked noticing the police dogs were snarling and vicious.
"Well um..." Wiggum replied.
"That's not an explanation..." Kirk frowned.
One evening, Bart was climbing up to his treehouse when he found Milhouse there in costume as Fallout Boy.
"Milhouse?" Bart asked.
"Sssh! I don't want anyone to know I'm here!" Milhouse hushed him. "They've sent you to find me haven't they?"
"No." Bart replied. "Fed up with being famous already?" Bart asked smugly.
"You saw what they were like! Doing take after pointless take!" Milhouse cried. "I'm sick of saying Jiminy Jillikers over and over again!"
"Wow! You really are sick of the whole thing!" Bart replied. "Don't worry, I'll hide you. I'll even take your place instead."
However Micky Rooney found them.
"Mickey Rooney?! What are you doing here?!" Bart and Milhouse asked.
"Why I'm advertising my Mickey Rooney's crazy pills!" said Mickey. Suddenly he started advertising his pills.
In Mickey Rooney's lounge is Mickey Rooney in an armchair. "Hi I'm Mickey Rooney! You may know me as being whacked out insane!" said Mickey. "I like to scream at mice with my shirt off!"
Mickey was screaming at a mouse in the kitchen with his shirt off.
"Sometimes I steal people's scabs!" said Mickey. He is then in the street ripping a scab off of a guy's leg. He then runs down the street screaming.
"You can be just as crazy as me with Mickey Rooney's crazy pills! Take one with breakfast! One with lunch! And very soon you'll be sitting on the roof pooping into the chimney!" said Mickey.
Mickey Rooney was sitting on a chimney with his pants down apparently pooping. "Hold out your stockings kids!"
Everything then returned to Bart's treehouse.
"Okay... why are you here apart from that..." Bart asked after an awkward silence.
"I'm here to ask Milhouse to come back and finish filming." Mickey explained.
"Sorry Mr Rooney but no way." said Milhouse.
"Milhouse. If not for the directors but for yourself?" Mickey asked.
"I'm sorry but I quit! I don't want to be Fallout Boy anymore." Milhouse took off his costume and left.
"Oh well, can't say I didn't try." Mickey sighed.
"Now who's gonna be Fallout Boy?" Bart asked.
"I could." Oscar suggested.
...
Mickey was on set dressed as Fallout Boy.
"Jiminy Jillikers! Jiminy Jillikers! Jiminy Jillikers!" said Mickey Rooney.
"Mr Rooney..." the director sighed.
"Oh fine! I'll let the spike haired kid do it..." Mickey sighed.
Bart hopped on set in a Fallout Boy costume and posed joyfully.
The end.
Up in Bart's treehouse Mickey Rooney hung out with Milhouse.
"Well I guess fame isn't for everyone." said Mickey Rooney.
"Well they let me keep my copy of Fallout Boy's costume." said Milhouse. "But it was grating having to go Jiminy Jillickers over and over again..."
Luckily someone did manage to finish the film and adapted it into a real life comic.
Suddenly Ralph climbed up into the treehouse.
"Oh hey Ralph." said Milhouse.
"Hey sonny." said Mickey Rooney.
"MAKE DISNEY MAKE PETE'S DRAGON 2!" Ralph yelled obsessed with Pete's Dragon...
