Butterfingers Lisa and Bart read a book of curious science and discuss reincarnation. Meanwhile Homer watches unhealthy commercials for extremely high calorie foods and when she finds out, Lisa and Marge vow to protest to have them taken off air. Finally Bart won't let anyone have one of his Butterfinger bars, so the family take drastic action to get to his treasured butterfingers.
Meanwhile Homer is persuaded by unhealthy commercials and Oscar traumatised by a health warning programme about obesity featuring Santa dying. Marge gets both cancelled but Homer finds another way to watch his beloved commercials so Marge hires a tale to persuade him to stop over eating. But accidentally gets a hostage negotiator tape instead. Hilarity insures!
PlotOne afternoon Bart and Lisa are watching TV while Lisa reads a book on curious facts.
"Hey, look Bart! It says here that one day humans will grow an extra finger!" The book shows a Simpson character's hand with only three fingers and a thumb, and a human hand with four fingers and a thumb.
"Like when Marge tried to set Gramps up with Grandma Bouvier and Homer imagined us as those creepy kids from that microwave pizza commercials..." said Oscar.
"Eeeew!" Bart said in disgust. He then took out a butterfinger bar and bit from it.
"Can I have some?" Lisa asked.
"No way! No one lays a finger on my butterfingers!" He then got up on the couch.
"Bart, get down from there, you're not in a commercial right now..." Marge told him off. He got down from the couch.
Bart sighed and sat down.
Up in the attic. Hugo was studying his pigeon-rat.
Hugo was making notes when he saw Oscar had summoned Chip the wolf mascot of Cookie Crisp cereal. Chip was sniffing Oscar's diaper with his big wet shiny round purple nose.
Hugo grimaced disgusted as he heard Oscar moan aroused.
"Wow you are really young… for such a pervert… what were you dropped in a porn box as a child?" Hugo remarked disgusted.
Oscar frowned at him while lying on Hugo's door bed which as just an old door with some sheets draped over it as a makeshift bed. Chip the Cookie Crisp Wolf was still sniffing his diaper with his big wet shiny purple nose.
The future.
Lisa was talking about famous high brow dead people only geniuses would know of like Pablo Neruda or Jung or Sigmund Freud...
"Well, Carl Jung says that we all have a shadow figure, a...a kind of nemesis. In fact I actually found mine." said Adult Lisa.
"What'd you do?" Adult Bart asked.
"I married him." said Lisa.
Bart winced.
Adult Oscar, now a jobless douche beard guitar player college frat boy got down on one knee and proposed to Dark Oscar.
"Dark Oscar, will you do me the honour-"
"No." said Dark Oscar.
Bart and Sideshow Bob exchange uncomfortable looks.
"When you stop trying to kill me, never ever propose to me!" Bart said disgusted.
"Agreed." said Bob agreeing that Lisa marrying her nemesis and Oscar trying to marry his dark side was gross.
...
That evening Homer was watching TV while Bart teased Lisa with his butterfinger bar.
"Lisa! Sit down! Bart! Stop teasing your sister and let her have some of your candy bar!" Homer yelled.
"But it's a butterfinger bar, and that's my shtick, not to let anyone have any! They're my butterfingers!" Bart protested.
"Bart those commercials have made you into a one line wonder..." Lisa groaned.
"No they haven't!" Bart protested. "I had my "I didn't do it!" Line!"
"That's it! Go to your rooms! Both of you!" Homer yelled. They did so reluctantly.
Homer could then watch his programme in peace. Then the commercials came on. A seductive voice explained how to make a very unhealthy breakfast sandwich with three kinds of meat, a fried egg and smothered in creamery butter. It was called the Good Morning burger.
Homer made a moan of pleasure.
Then there was a commercial for Trident Seafoods. Canned tuna was being advertised.
Hugo moaned and drooled with hunger.
Marge sighed.
"You two are so alike..."
"Don't ever compare me to that freak!" Homer roared.
"SHUT THE HELL UP OLD MAN!" Oscar snapped.
"Homer stop being nasty to Hugo! Oscar, don't raise your voice in this house, please." Marge nagged Homer and softly reprimanded Oscar.
Homer tutted and went off annoyed.
Oscar later was being stupid by summoning Bananas in Pyjamas and gay clowns.
"Ooooooooh! Does this lipstick make my lips look swollen?" A gay clown asked.
"Do this with your lips. (Fish noises.) No, you're beautiful darling now make em laugh." said another gay clown.
Bart winced. "Can we just send him to an orphanage..."
"I need Oscar around the house. His weirdness keeps me sane." said Hugo.
Bart sighed frustrated.
"I am not weird!" Oscar frowned. "Now which one of us is the bride or the groom..." He asked Dark Oscar.
Dark Oscar grimaced as Good Oscar was trying to envisage him in a bridal dress. "I hate you." He snapped.
"I'm not surprised. You represent my every negative emotion. Hate, anger, envy..." said Good Oscar.
"I envy Bart's figure that can carry off a pair of shorts well..." said Dark Oscar.
Bart winced.
...
The next morning, Lisa asks Bart about reincarnation.
"Bart, if you could come back as anything? What would it be?" Lisa asked.
"A butterfly." Bart asked.
"A butterfly, eh? Why?" Lisa asked curious.
"Because no one suspects the butterfly!" Bart replied before rubbing his hands and laughing evilly. He then has a daydream of Principal Skinner being arrested for setting the school on fire.
"But I didn't set the school on fire! It was the butterfly!" Skinner protested.
"Yeah, that's what they all say..." Wiggum said as he and his offices took Skinner away.
However he was right as Bart as a butterfly was holding a can of petroleum and laughing as he flapped his little, colourful wings.
The daydream then ended.
"Okay..." Lisa rolled her eyes. Bart was just weird sometimes.
Bart was then eating another Butterfinger with another waiting in his pocket. She tried to sneakily take it, but Bart noticed and took the bar in his hand and ran away with it.
"Oh what's the use! He won't let anyone have one..."
Lisa went into the rear lounge or TV room. Oscar was in there lying on the colourful rug while Teddy was sniffing his diaper again with his big wet shiny black nose. Lisa winced.
"I'm going out..."
She went out to force her vegetarian beliefs on everyone by protesting that meat was murder.
"You know you can influence people without badgering them always. It's like Paul's song, 'Live and Let Live.'" said Apu.
"It's Live and Let Die..." said Paul McCartney.
"I loved that James Bond film! Geoffrey Holder was so scary as Baron Samedi! And how did they get Jane Seymour who must be about 500 years old now to start in it?!" Oscar asked.
Lisa sighed.
At home Homer hurried home.
"Okay what was the emergency?" He asked Oscar who was off school for some reason.
"Can Hugey have a hot pocket?" Oscar asked him.
"You dragged me all the way from work for that!" Homer yelled.
"Well? Can Hugo have a hot pocket?"
"Yes! Now stop calling me at work!" Homer went back to work.
"Oscar why are you not at school?!" Marge frowned.
"Um it's a holiday." said Oscar.
Marge didn't believe him.
"The um... feast of Maximum Occupancy." said Oscar.
...
That evening Homer is watching a news broadcast about obesity.
"Aaaaaw! Lisa, change the channel..." Homer groaned. "Oh, whatever..."
"People tend to see fatness as the image of jolly old Saint Nick." Kent Brockman explained as he showed a picture of a smiling Santa. "However, in reality Santa would be dying or on a triple heart bypass." a video is shown of an actor as Santa flatlining in hospital, pale skin and being covered up after being declared dead.
"Santa! Nooooooo!" Oscar cries before running out the room, and into Marge, sobbing.
"Oscar, it's just a dramatisation..." Lisa explained.
Oscar crying into a Marge's dress,
"What's going on?" Marge asked.
"Oh, Kent's doing one of his serious health stories and this bit on Santa came on..." Homer moaned while rewinding the TV.
Marge watched it and gasped in horror. "That's it! I'm complaining to Kent Brockman! I will not have him traumatise children, especially mine!" She had another of her tirades. "Don't worry, Oscar, it's not real, Santa's fine."
However the TV then showed a commercial for another unhealthy, high calorie meal, a bacon sandwich with three kinds of bacon and a fried chicken breast...
"Now how does that help?! First they frighten everyone into eating healthy, then they show commercials like that!" Lisa yelled. At this point in the evening it's nearly bedtime so Oscar and Lisa were in their pyjamas.
"Hrrrrm!" Marge groaned as Homer was drooling at the commercial. She then had a daydream of Homer dying and being buried. The whole family were dressed in black.
"(Sobbing) I wished they never invented grilled cheese sandwiches!" Marge said while crying.
"The crane can't hold much longer!" Raphael said as his crane lowered a massive crate, presumably containing Homer's obese corpse, down into his grave. However the chain snapped and the crate crushed everyone.
The daydream ended.
"We have to do something! I'm coming with you Mom to put a stop to these unhealthy commercials!" said Lisa determined.
Oscar sniffled.
Later he stopped blubbering.
He resumed trying to propose to Dark Oscar.
Dark Oscar sighed exasperated.
"The gay clowns are the ushers." said Oscar in the attic with Dark Oscar.
Suddenly cousin Hank climbed the ladder.
"How tall are you?" Hank asked.
"Yes, Hank, I'm short. Very funny. You're a regular Jay Lame-o. I'm still tall enough to kick your sorry butt." Oscar frowned.
Hank fetched out from under his black shirt a platter of Green Eggs and Ham.
"No! I will not eat them on a boat! I will not eat them with a goat!" Oscar yelled.
...
Marge and Lisa go on the following night's Smartline broadcast.
"Mrs Simpson? Why should we not warn people the horrors of obesity?" Kent asked.
"I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm saying you shouldn't traumatise young children with dramatisations before the watershed of their favourite characters dying. Why last week my youngest daughter and my foster son were scarred for life on your story of whatever happened to the seven dwarfs showing a graveyard of the actual actors' gravestones!" Marge ranted.
"And if you're really concerned about health, why do you then allow your network to show such unhealthy commercials afterwards?!" Lisa added.
Kent Brockman was speechless. They had a point.
Meanwhile Homer groaned as he turned over the boring news to watch the Bumblebee Man show.
He laughed at the funny show. But Oscar was crying over a picture of Santa.
Homer groaned. "Santa is fine! That was just an impersonator..."
Oscar sniffled.
Homer sighed.
There was then a commercial for Lard Lad donuts.
"Mmmmmmmm! Donuts..." Homer moaned with joy and drooled.
"He nearly destroyed your entire town..." said Oscar.
Homer scoffed.
The following evening Kent Brockman announced they'd no longer be airing the unhealthy commercials for fattening foods like the good morning burger or the chocolate bar smothered in honey and butterscotch. He also announced that Smartline would be moved till after nine o'clock at night so no children will be able to see it.
"Oh thanks, diaper baby!" Homer ranted at Oscar.
"Homer! Those health stories traumatise Maggie as well!" Marge yelled at him.
"Marge kids are supposed to be scared! It's how we get them to be prepared for the horrors of real life!" said Homer.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of Delusional Thinking with Homer J Simpson!" Oscar snarked at the fourth wall.
"Quiet you!" Homer growled at Oscar.
Homer sighed flicking through the TV. "Well at least I still have Fast Food Boulevard..."
Marge grumbled.
"They had to widen the doors of the Krusty Burger so you could get in..." Oscar snarked.
"That's enough! You obnoxious pipsqueak!" Homer growled. Oscar shied away into Marge's arms.
"Homer! They're just commercials! Rather misleading commercials that are just adding to America's obesity problem!" said Marge.
"What about America's B.O problem?" Homer asked.
"You're part of both! Gahahahaha!" Oscar laughed.
Homer growled.
Plot 2One day the Simpsons took their children to a surprise trip to Dizzyland. Not affiliated with Disneyland.
"Omg! Dizzy Land! I'm assuming that's an expy or knock off for Disney land..." said Oscar.
The Simpsons murmured.
"Are we there yet?" The kids chanted.
"No." said Homer.
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"I said no!"
"Are we there yet?"
"What's wrong with your ears?! We're not there yet?!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
Eventually they did get there.
There was an all year Christmas grotto starring a very authentic Santa. Baby Oscar sat on his lap for photos. However Oscar messed his diaper... Eeeewww!
They then went to see the seven dwarfs to show Maggie and Oscar they were alive and well. They were dwarf actors in costume...
Homer then got arrested by the purple Chip and Dale look-alike mascots for causing trouble. Marge sighed in embarrassment.
"Ow! Hey you planted that acorn!" Homer yelled because he was arrested for having a giant cartoon acorn.
The purple Dale look alike mascot tapped his baton and Homer was taken to the park detention centre.
Marge was mortified.
Later after he got out, Homer took Hugo to the toilets because he needed to go.
"I didn't know whether to tell you this or not, but someone in town has a crush on me." said Hugo. He had some unseen girlfriend again like in The Way We Was.
"A crush...on you? You couldn't get a dog to lick you if you were covered in gravy." Homer scoffed.
"What the hell are you talking about? Dogs lick me all the time." said Hugo peeing into a urinal.
"So who's got a crush on you? Is Helen Keller back in town?" said Homer.
Oscar came in, set up a stepladder, climbed to the top and then whacked Homer with a baseball bat concussing him. "NOT FUNNY!" Oscar yelled.
Homer groaned in pain holding his jaw.
Later they were walking about the park.
"Visitors please vacate the cool zone..." said a park employee.
"No! We're getting some shade..." said a tourist under the shade.
The worker sighed. "Turn on the acid..."
His colleague turned a spigot and the visitors in the cool zone melted and dissolved from the acid.
(Pained screams)
Oscar was horrified.
...
In the hotel, Bart continues to tease people with his butterfingers so the family concoct a plan to get their hands on some of Bart's stash. However the plans all fail spectacularly.
The Simpsons except Bart were lying in a heap having failed to get some of Bart's Butterfingers.
"Don't you guys watch commercials? The mascot nearly always fails to get some of his or her cereal from the greedy children..." Bart explained.
"Except the ones where the mascot is the one being selfish. Then the children except him or her all get some!" Oscar said having got a Butterfinger bar.
"Ah, touché..." Bart signed. Letting him have the bar as he was already eating it.
Bart was in the Dizzieland Starbucks drinking coffee with the Lucky Charms Leprechaun.
"So ye met Oscar..." the Lucky charms Leprechaun sighed.
"Uh huh." said Bart as the camera zoomed out to show various cereal mascots such as the Trix Bunny and Chip the wolf looking defeated.
"Hi guys." said Oscar eating a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal.
Elsewhere in the sappy, cute, cartoony dimension. Hugo found a giant gopher. Possibly the Ipana toothpaste gopher or beaver.
"That's a big gopher..." said Hugo.
"Pfffffft. So? There's a giant monkey in the Coco Pops jungle..." said Oscar.
"Oz what is the point of this scene?" Bart groaned attending an AA style sit and chat style therapy session with cereal and snack mascots...
"To show what a sell out you are advertising Butterfingers..." said Oscar.
"And CC's Potato chips..." said Hugo.
Bart sighed.
Oscar was asking Chip the Cookie Crisp Wolf daft questions.
"Have you ever committed property damage/vandalism of houses owned by cartoon pigs by violently exhaling upon their houses?"
"Uh no..." said Chip.
"Impersonated an old age pensioner to deceive young girls wearing crimson?"
"No. I'm a cereal eating wolf..." said Chip.
"Oh... So you're a cereal killer..." said Oscar. "Hehehe! Get it? Cereal killer..."
Chip sighed.
"Have you actually ever eaten..." Oscar asked.
"Look! Oz! A store that sells fudge!" Hugo distracted him.
"Do we have any fudge at home?" Oscar asked.
"No sweetie. That means you can buy some." said Marge.
"Oh good. I am gonna pack so much fudge..." said Oscar making a gay joke.
"Enough!" Homer snapped.
...
"And action." said a director. Bart was doing a commercial for Butterfinger ice creams. He was on a fake beach with Maggie in their swimming outfits.
"Nobody lays a finger on my Butter-" Bart says his line but Maggie took a big bite of his Butterfinger ice cream.
He sighed as she chewed her mouthful of ice cream somehow without getting brain freeze.
Oscar smirked.
Then Bart was doing a Tracy Ullman's shorts style commercial teasing Lisa and Maggie with his butterfinger.
"Bart! Dad says not to tease us or your in big trouble!" said Lisa acting.
Bart continued to tease her by putting the butterfinger bar in his mouth.
Lisa inhaled deeply. Then screamed out "Daaaaaaaaaaad!" But Bart hastily fed her part of his butterfinger bar. She chewed the mouthful.
Homer stormed in angry. "What is it?" he barked.
"Nothing Dad." said Lisa with her mouthful,
"And Cut." said the narrator. The Tracy Ullman filter was turned off so the Simpsons went back to normal.
Bart stormed off. "That's it! You've ruined my schtick!" He ranted storming off.
"Someone has to catch the Lucky Charms leprechaun sometime..." said Oscar.
The Simpsons were exasperated.
"Hey Teddy, wanna go on the Riding on the Bug ride with me again?" Oscar asked his living teddy bear creature.
"Fine. But this time I want free pie." said Teddy.
Oscar winced.
"I LIKE PIE! YeahYeahYeahYeahYeahYeah!" Teddy yelled sounding like Billy from Grim Adventures who doesn't exist yet...
At school, third grade.
A new kid was standing up front describing where they're from.
"We just moved here from Phoenix."
"River Phoenix..." said Oscar with emphasis.
Ace, the blond vampire boy slammed his head upon his desk repeatedly with frustration.
"Ace please refrain from head butting your desk..." the teacher sighed.
Jurkle, Oscar's Jewish friend looked concerned for Oscar's sanity.
"Did you guys know the Chicken dance was invented by the Spanish Inquisition?" Oscar asked.
"No it wasn't invented by the Spanish Inquisition Oz..." Ace sighed irked by his stupidity.
"Okay but Tetris was created in Russia..." said Oscar.
...
At the Aztec cinema a fat guy in a trench coat clearly try to hide his identity snuck into the cinema after buying a ticket. That someone was Homer. He sat down to watch an unhealthy commercial.
He sighed and took off his hat to watch the unhealthy food commercials.
A seductive voice said. "First we take a regular candy bar then we pour over rich honey... (Homer drools) Then Rich vanilla cream... (Homer groans "Oh baby...") Then we top it with crushed nuts..."
Homer gargles and drools.
"Hey fatty! I've got a movie for ya! A fridge too far!" Raphael mocked him.
"Hey shut up!" Homer yelled.
At home Bart was in his room furious and bouncing his ball about like in Lisa's substitute the canon version.
"Bart. I know those butterfinger commercials were your thing. But you were getting rather obnoxious in them..." said Marge.
"I'm supposed to be obnoxious in them! That's how the commercials work! An obnoxious mascot won't let anyone have the product he's selling! Or sometimes it's the other way round, the mascot wants some of the product he is advertising but the kids won't let him..." said Bart.
"Hmmmm! Don't you think it would be fairer to share your Butterfingers nicely..." said Marge.
"No. Because there'd be no point to the commercial if there was no conflict..." said Bart.
Marge sighed.
"Yeah I ruined that dolly mixtures commercial with the siblings fighting after I shot the smug looking sister. Yeah not so strong now missy..." said Oscar thinking of an annoying bag of dolly mixtures sold in the supermarket.
Bart rolled his eyes.
Oscar was eating Buzz sweets, a brand of candy with a clown Bart with a big red shiny nose on the cover.
"Ay carumba!" Bart gasped.
The Buzz gummy sweets mascot appeared. He looks like Bart's head with arms and legs with a big round red shiny nose wearing sunglasses.
"Haaaaaauuuwww! Clown Bart!" Oscar squealed.
Bart sighed bemused.
...
Homer was eating snacks on the couch again.
Marge sighed and watched TV while knitting in the back lounge. A commercial by Dr Marvin Monroe came on. It was for persuasion tapes to stop bad habits like smoking and over eating.
"Mom you should get dad that!" said Lisa.
"Oooooh! Write down the number Lisa." said Marge.
Later Marge called the helpline on the kitchen phone while playing with its cable.
"We have giving up smoking. Over eating... Hostage negotiations..." said the lady on the phone.
"Hostage negotiations?!" Marge asked. She imagines Homer negotiating badly with an Italian gangster.
"We're ignoring all your demands Filatoni! What do you say to that?" said Homer.
A gun was cocked and Homer was shot with machine gun fire.
"Hmmmmm!" Marge sighed as the day dream ended. "Why do I always day dream about him being killed?" She fiddled with the phone cable. "I'll just take the over eating one..."
"Okay." said the lady on the line. She sent a message down to her colleagues. However they were all out of the diet tapes.
"Eh, I'll just use the hostage negotiation training tapes... Fatso..." said the clerk in charge of the tapes...
Meanwhile Oscar was having a very odd conversation at the kitchen table.
"I want to make a half man, half monkey type creature..." said Oscar.
"Uh no... that would be playing God..." said Lisa.
"God, schmod! I want my monkey man! Damnit!" Oscar yelled.
Lisa winced.
She then tried to advise her father about his weight.
"Dad those rashers of bacon are full of heart clogging lipids and salt..."
"Oh sweetie that's just a load of rich creamery butter..." Homer copied something he heard from those commercials advertising unhealthy snacks.
Plot 3At Mr Burns's Office. Someone, possibly one of his employees was suing him and Lionel Hutz was representing them.
"Mr Burns, we've got witnesses, precedent, and a paper trailer a mile long." Lionel Hutz confronted Mr Burns and slammed his briefcase down on the desk.
"Yes? Well, I have a team of high-priced lawyers." said Mr Burns as he pressed a button as that opened a wall panel and revealed his lawyers stood in a row.
"Aah! Aaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Lionel Hutz screamed and ran off.
"Coooooool..." said Bart, he was there for some reason, because that guy with the Homer clones and the Tweenies insisted. To be honest this works better in Burns's Heir.
Then the Homer clone vandal started doing repetitive Family Guy style gags...
Oscar groaned.
See the scene above but with one lawyer then two then three then four... ad nauseam.
"But repetition is funny..." said Peter Griffin.
"No it's not..." Oscar sighed.
At Night Homer goes to bed listening to his tape. In canon it's a increase your vocabulary tape. In fanon he gets different ones with funny results.
"So long, stomach. We've had a lot of great memories..." said Homer patting his fat stomach. He has a dream about when he painted a face on his stomach for an eating competition and won, they put a hat over him so he looked like a round Pac-Man like character wearing a ten gallon hat.
Homer goes to sleep playing his tape.
"Hello. This is Dr. Marvin Monroe." said a gruff voice. "Let's build your vocabulary. Abattoir: Slaughterhouse. The cow was slaughtered in the abattoir." said Dr Marvin Monroe.
The following morning.
"Has the weight loss tape reduced your appetite?" Marge asked.
"Lamentably, no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satiety." said Homer using big words sighing. Basically he said Regrettably no, I still have a huge appetite.
Marge murmured and exchanged looks with Lisa. They sent the wrong tape.
The hostage tape scenario is gonna be hilarious...
...
In a cartoon realm which was cute and sappy and colourful with rainbows and cute animals! Bart was at Commercial mascot Anonymous dealing with commercial mascots defeated by Oscar.
Bart Butterflies fluttered about.
They laughed evilly while carrying cans of paraffin oil.
Sat in chairs around a circle were; Bart Simpson and a pile of ButterFinger bars and other products like Butterfinger BBs and ice lollies. Next to him was Lucky the Lucky Charms leprechaun, then Chip the Cookie Crisp Wolf, Then the Trix Rabbit, then Toucan Sam, Then the Coco Pops monkey...
Bart winced.
They were all there because Oscar had humiliated and defeated them to get their cereal/products they were selling.
After the Coco Pops Monkey sat the Rice Krispies elves on tiny chairs then the Golden Nuggets gold prospector and his donkey...
Bart's eyes widen with exasperated surprise.
Also because the mascots were depressed they were smoking cigarettes.
Elsewhere Oscar was at the Simpsons house watching the Coco Pops commercial where during a relay race the hippo gets stuck in a puddle of gooey glue.
cartoon stretching sounds as the hippo character tugged at the gooey glue.
Baby Oscar winced and wet his diaper.
Elsewhere in whatever universe Hey Arnold is in...
Oskar, it's spelt Oscar! Damn Eastern Europeans! Was playing his saxophone. Yes a saxophone. Lisa Simpson observing from the Simpsons world smiled. Suddenly Baby Oskar cried and bawled.
"Oskar, please!" said his wife Suzie.
"What? I have to practice." Oskar explained.
"You're not the only person in this house. All you ever think about is yourself." Suzie said sharply.
Suddenly Lisa Simpson stormed in. Um they don't close the flat door properly.
"Aaaaaagh! A yellow person!" said Oskar.
"Now you listen here Suzie! He has to practice his saxophone playing! He is not just thinking about just himself! Well except when wanting sandwiches I suppose... but his saxophone playing is really important to him and I say that as a fellow saxophone player!" Lisa ranted.
Suzie winced.
"Okay but it's making the baby cry." said Suzie holding Baby Oskar.
...
Springfield.
Oscar bought some Eyehole cereal from Rick and Morty's universe.
Suddenly the Eyehole man attacked. "I am the Eyehole man! Only I may have Eyeholes!"
"Oh it's on!" said Oscar pulling out a katana. He in a flash was now behind Eyehole Man as if he went through him. Eyehole man stood there gibbering as blood poured out of his mouth. Then he collapsed in halves having been bifurcated. Oscar smirked and put his katana away and sat down to eat the Eyeholes cereal.
Then he wrote more disturbing letters to Chip the Cookie Crisp wolf demanding he sniff his diaper with his big wet shiny purple nose because Oscar has some sort of weird fetish involving him.
Hugo winced.
Bart was eating Butterfingers when Amin Damoola from Disney's Aladdin made a cameo for some reason.
Oscar annoyed him by calling him butterfingers.
"No one lays a finger on my b-" Bart started his catchphrase while guarding his butterfingers.
"Do not call me that!" Amin threw Oscar onto a table that cuffed him with tight metal manacles. A pendulum axe swung at him.
Oscar was frightened and wet his diaper.
Marge winced and looked away as the axe swung.
Genie Homer caught the blade and freed Oscar with his magic.
"That's not fair! No genies!" Amin Damoola whined.
Genie Homer picked him up and threw him far, far away.
Bart winced. "Can you stop mentioning that Dad's voice actor also took over as Genie from Robin Williams..."
"No because it's funny." Oscar giggled.
Bart groaned exasperated.
...
Lisa went out to protest against eating meat because she's vegetarian now remember?
She held up a sign that read "Meat is murder!" In block capitals.
Oscar however held a sign that read "MEAT IS MURDER! Tasty, tasty murder." The second part was in smaller letters.
"Oz..." Lisa frowned at him.
"Anyway... remember when Bart worked for Fat Tony?" said Oscar.
He recalled Bart the Murderer in a very surreal manner.
"Ah! You're eight years early for work! I like that!" said Fat Tony as Bart arrived. However he arrived as a baby wearing a diaper and drinking from a bottle.
Bart in the present winced.
Homer arrived because he was supervising Lisa in this big bad world outside their home and he's her ride home.
"I am recalling my first ever drink driving offence." said Homer.
Little Homer, as a kid. Little Barney and some other kids crashed into a tree in little toddler brick carts.
"Let's never drink again..." Kid Homer groaned.
"And we never did..." said Homer in the present.
"Yeah sure..." Bart snarked.
"Guys... I like nostalgia but I'm trying to protest here... Meat Is Murder!" Lisa sighed before chanting slogans again.
Homer put on a poker face with emotionless exasperation. Then he was overjoyed by something. "Hey look it's Apu! And Paul McCartney!"
Lisa sighed.
Oscar went off to the Coco Pops jungle. He was swinging through the trees on vines. He was also wearing only a diaper.
He came across the lame Coco Pops mascots singing and eating Coco Pops.
Oscar winced at the Lane cartoon commercial. Then cartoon monkeys resembling clones of Coco captured him and took him off somewhere deep in the jungle like how those monkeys captured Mowgli.
...
Cartoon cereal and snack mascot land.
Bart turned up for AA or should I say OA (Oscar Awareness) with all the other mascots I.e. Bart Simpson. Himself advertising Butterfingers. Chip the Cookie Crisp Wolf. The previous mascots of Cookie Crisp, ie that robber guy with a Hamburglar eye mask and his dog. The Golden Nuggets Gold prospector and his annoying donkey who stops the bandits. Lucky the leprechaun, the Trix rabbit. Count Chocula or Fudgula. Captain Crunch. Boo Berry. Toucan Sam. Coco the monkey. Dig em Frog. Snap Crackle and Pop. Buzz from Buzz gummy sweets. The bags of cashews Genie Aka Will Smith Genie! Tony Tiger etc.
Bart winced exasperated.
"Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger." said Bart.
"They're Grrrrrrrrreeeeeeaaattt!" said Tony the Tiger.
"Silly wabbit. Trix are for kids!" said some children to Trix rabbit.
"This is just disturbing..." Oscar winced. "Oh well I'm the annoying kid who got and successfully ate your products or prevented Chip and Trix from tasting some of theirs."
"Blood for cream! Blood for cream! Blood for cream!" Bart and the cereal mascots chanted angrily and menacingly.
Oscar screamed and fled.
Marge called in for an appetite suppressant hypnosis tape. But Dr Marvin Monroe still didn't have any. So his company sent a hostage negotiator tape for how to be a hostage negotiator.
The hilarious conclusion!
"We're ignoring all your demands Filatoni! What do you say to that?" said Homer. Yelling into a megaphone at a building a criminal was hiding in.
A gun was cocked and Homer was shot with machine gun fire.
"How is my husband dying, funny?" Marge frowned.
They tried again. But this time, they got a hypnosis tape that made Homer think he was a chicken.
Homer was squawking and clucking and flapping his arms and digging at the carpet with his feet for worms.
The Simpsons face palmed.
...
Bart met up with the other food mascots again in the bistro, probably a Starbucks and had coffee.
Chip the Cookie Crisp Wolf was babysitting Baby Oscar and sniffing his diaper with his big wet shiny purple nose. Oscar blushed and wriggled. The cartoon wolf kept sniffing him.
Oscar gurgled and wriggled as the cartoon wolf sniffed his diaper with his big wet shiny purple nose.
Chip was still sniffing him.
Oscar grimaced and felt the need to pee.
Chip was still sniffing his diaper.
Oscar squeezed and honked Chip's nose. It squeaked like a toy. He giggled and honked his nose again.
Bart's room, night.
One late evening, Bart was asleep in his bed, he had three Butterfingers in his "Butterfinger Vault".
"No one better lay a finger on my Butterfinger..." he moaned in his sleep.
"Then three shadows enter his room quietly, all of them heading towards Bart's Butterfinger Vault."
Of course just as they seemed to think the treasure inside was theirs... They set of booby traps. Ie a net caught the three, who, when Bart turned his bedside lamp on. Found the noisy intruders were his own mother and father and his sister, Lisa.
"I told you... Nobody can lay a finger on my Butterfingers..." Bart sighed.
The next morning. Or later that morning when he was awake.
Bart was making notes of advice that he liked to write. Not what Skinner made him write when doing lines in detention.
"When you walk around naked, always do it with confidence."
"Will do!" Oscar said smirking as he tore off his diaper and left it behind as he ran off naked.
Bart smirked. I really shouldn't encourage him. Considering how his zaniness annoys me sometimes.
Unfortunately for Bart, when he woke up it was already twenty after eight! Bart was twenty minutes late for the bus. Bart did NOT quickly put on his orange t-shirt, blue shorts and dashed down the hall. Because he hates school.
"Eh... might as well get a lie in..." he shrugged getting up from his desk to go back to bed.
"Oh no you don't Bartholomew!" Marge nagged holding a wooden spoon.
Bart sighed.
Plot 4Later Marge dealt with more or Oscar's antics...
"Weeeeeeee! I'm naked!" Oscar ran down the upstairs hallway naked.
Marge winced.
Later, after getting Bart dressed and to school, Marge called Dr Marvin Monroe for another tape. This time she was annoyed as she insisted it be a weight loss tape.
"We have ones for bed wetting." said a clerk on the phone looking through the tapes.
"No! My husband doesn't wet the bed!" Marge yelled down the phone.
"I do." said Oscar.
Marge lovingly tousled his hair while talking to the tape clerks who work for Dr Marvin Monroe.
On one of Troy McClure's many programmes.
"You kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly and Here Comes The Metric System."
Suddenly the Stonecutters stormed in and manhandled him.
"Ow! Let go of me...!"
"I am Number One of the secret society of the Stonecutters. There is no metric system in Springfield." said Number One.
"Damn the metric system!" Abe yelled.
"He's getting old and useless." Said Number 14.
"Then I shall banish him back to the retirement home!" Said Number One.
It then goes to Number One bringing Abe back inside the retirement home and walking off.
The Secret society of the Stonecutters vanished off back to their secret temple.
Lisa sighed watching TV as the Troy McClure film had been interrupted by the Stonecutters.
Bart was eating a Butterfinger bar.
