Raging Abe Simpson and his Grumbling Grandson Vs The Flying Hell fish Bonanza Bart takes Gramps to school for take your grandparents to school day. However Grampa annoys him by calling Martin fat and telling stupid stories. Then someone tries to kill Abe!

Plot

At school it's take your grandparents to school day.

Students are entering the school with their grandparents.

Grampa Simpson keeps spitting on the floor.

"Gramps! I don't mind you spitting on the floor at home but I have to work with these people!" said Bart.

"Well they should leave spittoons out then!" said Grampa. He spat on the floor.

"Children and seniors take your seats." said Mrs Krabappel. "Yada yada, blah blah... Anyhoo, none of us teachers bought a senior family member with us so we kinda feel left out. Except Skinner... His mother invited herself..."

"Seymour! How does this microphone work?!" came Agnes's voice over the tannoy.

"Mother please! That's for morning announcements!" Principal Skinner whined.

All the kids laughed at the antics going on in the office. Namely Mrs Skinner bossing her son around.

"Seymour! Sit up straight! Tuck in your shirt!"

"Mother...!"

"You're all losers!" Agnes yelled down the microphone.

Mrs krabappel sighed.

"Okay first up. Milhouse would your grampa like to tell us something about himself?" said Mrs krabappel.

Milhouse's Grampa, on his dad's side got up. He was wearing a fishing hat.

"Now how many of you own a house?" asked Milhouse's grampa. Everyone except Nelson put up their hands.

"Okay. Now how many of you drove your house to school today?" asked Milhouse's grampa.

Everyone eagerly put up their hands but stopped and chatted confused.

"Hohoho! No, I'm not Superman! I own an RV! Why, just last fall, Me and the wife won a chilli cook off in Beaumont, Texas!" said Milhouse's Grampa. His RV motor home was outside on the school lawn near Willie's shack.

"Hoots mom! Now that's a house!" said Willie, drinking hooch.

"You're living in a false paradise, Van Houten! If you fell over in the shower, that thing would be your tomb!" Grampa ranted.

"Grampa! Shhhh! Here spit in my desk some more." said Bart, embarrassed by his Grampa interrupting.

Abe spat in his desk.

Mrs Krabappel praises Van Houten's fascinating story and dismissed him to sit down.

"Whoa! Your grampa is awesome Milhouse!" said Bart.

Milhouse blushed and smiled.

"Psshaww! Big deal! My Grampa Max has an RV!" said Ben Tennyson. Hehehehe! Ben...

"Nobody asked you..." said Bart annoyed by him interrupting.

...

Next up was Nelson's Grandfather.

"No, I'm not Superman! I'm a judge. I just sentenced my forty-sixth man to death. Oh wait, forty-seventh! My mistake!" said Judge Muntz.

Everyone cheered.

"Wow, 47 men sentenced to death?! Brrrr! I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him. " Oscar commented softly.

Nelson's Grampa sat down after telling his story.

"Wow! Forty-seven? I love you, Grampa!" said Nelson.

Abe started interrupting again.

"Bah! I may not wear a black bathrobe or carry a hammer like Snooty! But I do wear slippers and carry a spoon! Ha!" said Grampa holding a wooden spoon.

Bart was embarrassed.

"Bart. Perhaps your grampa would like to come up and give someone else a chance to interrupt..." said Mrs Krabappel.

"Please no!" Bart said, embarrassed.

"About time, knot head!" said Abe hitting her on the head with his spoon.

"Bah!" said Mrs Krabappel when he did that.

Everyone laughed. However they were still laughing over Abe when he was trying to speak.

"Hey! Sit down and shut up!" Abe yelled.

Bart was embarrassed at him shouting at people.

"Now my first story starts in 19 dickity... we had to say dickity because the Kaiser stole the number twenty... I tried to chase that rascal to get it back but stopped after dickity miles..." Abe explained sighing with exhaustion.

Everyone laughed.

Bart was mortified. He groaned and rested his head on his arms.

"Hahahahaha! Dickity! Highly dubious!" Martin laughed.

"What's so funny fatty? Too much pie that's your problem!" Abe yelled at him.

Martin was embarrassed. Everyone laughed at him.

"Now after that crass remark I begin my next story of how I invented the toilet..." said Grampa.

"Ha! Toilet!" Mrs Krabappel laughed. Everyone started laughing.

"Stop laughing! I spent three years on that toilet!" said Abe.

Everyone cracked up laughing hysterically.

Bart was so mortified he pulled his shirt over his head to hide.

...

It was dinner that evening at the Simpsons house. Bart was telling how Grampa embarrassed him at school today.

"And then he said he was the one that set dogs and cats against each other!" Bart lamented. "Why does he tell such stupid stories...?"

"We should put him in a home!" said Homer.

"You already put him in a home Dad." said Lisa.

"Put him in one where he can't get out." said Bart.

"No! Old people deserve our respect! You won't lock Sir Ian McKellen and Goldie Hawn away like second class citizens would you?!" Lisa, retorted.

"If they got annoyingly senile and told stupid stories all the time and wet themselves I would." said Bart.

"Bart that's a terrible thing to say!" said Marge.

"Second class? Pah! If you ask me, old people get it pretty easy! Social security checks. Bus discounts! Free lunches! Diapers! Underwear all the way up to their armpits! And other perks!" said Homer. "If you ask me old people get it pretty sweet..."

"Hmmmmm... Everyone just eat your dinner." said Marge. "Can't believe Abe called Martin fat..."

Elsewhere Inane Brian's single Mom was going out and needed a baby sitter for him.

"Terrance I can trust you. Can you babysit Brian for a while."

Oh good lord! Put those beaver teeth away Brian! Brian has enormous buck teeth...

"Well um..." Terrance felt she should have asked one of her lady friends to babysit.

"Oh please... There's something attractive about a man who likes kids." said Brian's Mom.

"Okay Mom, then you can date Kevin Spacey!" Brian said freaked out.

Back at the Simpsons. As they ate dinner.

"Anyone else have an interesting story?" Homer asked.

"I'm banned from using a little gas station in Dog River, Saskatchewan..." Marge sighed embarrassed.

"Her check bounced and the owner who is also called Oscar decided to reference our show by mentioning Marge," said Oscar.

"Okay..." said Homer.

"I played a cool jazz solo on my sax in Music class and Mr Largo was being a philistine again..." said Lisa.

"Lisa please. I'm sure Mr Largo knows best..." said Marge.

"What do you think French fries are made of?" Teddy, Oscar's teddy bear creature asked Oscar.

"Dunno French people?" said Oscar.

Bart grimaced exasperated.

"Anyone want to ask what I did today?" Hugo asked.

"No! Now why are you out of the attic freak?!" Homer snapped.

"There you go disrespecting Hugo again, acting like his opinion doesn't matter. Tell him, Hugey." said Oscar annoyed.

Hugo smiled a sad smile. "Oz I told you, do not call me Hugey... it's Hugo..."

...

At the old people's home.

"Abe, you got mail." said a nurse giving him his letters.

"Cornelius Tamaki, you've got male! Ooooooooh!" said a gay resident of the retirement home.

"Guys no! None of that here please!" A nurse sighed.

Abe was all alone and reading his mail. None of the letters interred him as they were morbidly funny letters about death.

"Ah this junk was barely worth getting up for..." he sighed.

However one had the Flying Hell Fish logo. He gasped and read it. "Asa's dead! Oh no! That means the Flying Hell Fish bonanza's almost mine..." Said Abe.

At a funeral near a Flying Hell fish insignia gravestone. Reading Asa Phelps.

"Asa Phelps. Lived most of his life in Springfield..." droned Tim Lovejoy. "Apart from a brief moment when he went to Tennessee."

"You'd think a Mrs Phelps would be here. There's always a Mrs Phelps..." said Oscar.

After he left. Abe and Mr Burns. Yes Mr Burns. They're part of a secret pact... oh... spooky! They looked shifty and got to work making preparations for dealing with losing a comrade.

They took out keys and unlocked a safe with the Flying Hell Fish mascot on it. Inside was a small box.

"Would you do the honors Simpson?" Mr Burns asked.

Abe took out the box. Inside was a list of names. He crossed out Asa Phelps as he had died.

"Seven down. Once you're in your coffin Simpson, the Flying Hell Fish bonanza will be mine! All mine! Gahahahaha!" said Mr Burns, laughing evilly.

"Over my dead body, it will!" Abe yelled.

Mr Burns got annoyed. "That's the point you blundering fool! Can't you go five seconds without embarrassing yourself!?" Mr Burns ranted.

Abe's trousers fell down.

Oscar holding an umbrella and writing up this very episode laughed hysterically.

"How long was that?" Abe asked.

"Simpson. Despite your clownish behavior, we had a gentleman's agreement. Good day." said Mr Burns getting in his car. "Smithers. I want that man killed."

Abe's trousers fell down again. Hehehehe!

Oscar laughed.

...

At Mr Burns' office, Smithers drew the curtains.

"Let's see... Alligators... Anarchists... Arsonists... Ah! Assassins!" said Mr Burns.

"Sir do we really need to Uh hurry Abe Simpson along. Wouldn't it be wiser and more legal to let nature assassinate him for us? He is rather feeble." said Smithers.

"I can't risk it. And I can't get the Hell fish Bonanza without his key..." said Mr Burns.

He found a card for an assassin.

"Ah! Fernando! The deadliest assassin in South America!" said Mr Burns.

In an apartment in South America. a Latin man picked up the phone.

"Fernando it's MB." said Mr Burns.

"Ah Maurice Bouvier?" said Fernando. "How was those flowers I sent you?"

"Grrrr! It's Montgomery Burns you blundering fool!" said Mr Burns.

"Ah." said Fernando.

"Listen here, Fernando. I want you to assassinate this man I am faxing you a photo of." said Mr Burns.

A picture was faxed to Fernando the assassin.

Fernando collected from his fax machine a picture of Abraham Simpson eating a tin of Del Monte. Mmmmm Fruit pieces in syrup... gargles and drools like Homer.

"Ah Del Monte. Enjoy them while you last old timer..." said Fernando burning out the photo with his cigar.

Elsewhere Marge took all day to travel to the Canadian sitcom Corner Gas to Oscar Leroy's gas station. Rather than use her local, Denny's Discount Garage.

"Marge Simpson you check bouncing dame! I thought I told you not to set foot in here! You're barred!" said Oscar Leroy. "Along with Peter Parker, Jean Luc Picard and Arthur Fonzarelli! (The Fonz!)"

Brent cracked up laughing.

"Um Oscar... I think one of your employees is pulling your leg, having a laugh at your expense with fictional customers..." said Marge.

"Marge my only employee is my son Brent." said Oscar. Brent whistled nonchalantly.

Plot 2

Outside Abe's bedroom one night.

Fernando put some poison in Abe's false teeth. Then set his alarm clock to the time it would go off. It rang immediately.

"Ah! I'm up! I'm up!" said Abe. He grabbed the poisoned glass containing his false teeth and threw it. Then put the alarm clock in his mouth and ran about.

"Hmmmm! He's smarter than he looks..." said Fernando.

Later that day after cleaning off the poison from his teeth.

"Simpson your family are here to see you..." said a nurse on Abe's intercom.

"Hot diggity! My family's come to visit me!" said Abe happily. Then he realised something. "Wait... my family never comes to visit me... Whoa!" He ducked as a knife flew at him.

Fernando was dressed like Homer. "D'oh!" said Fernando.

"Hmmmmm!' Mr Burns sighed like Marge while dressed as her.

"I'll be waiting in the car dudes..." said Smithers dressed as Bart.

"This so embarrassing..." said the bald cigar smoking midget as Lisa after taking off his Lisa mask.

Later in Mr Burns's limo.

"Our next plan is a delicate and precise plan. A plan so devious..." said Fernando with blue prints and maths instruments like a compass and a protractor.

However the plan was just to storm into the old people's home firing a machine gun! Cooooool!

This frightened the old people.

"Is that for you, Abe?" asked Jasper.

Abe ran for his life as Fernando shot at him.

He ran into the nurses office.

"Help! Somebody is trying to kill me! And I keep seeing civil war monkeys!" Abe begged the nurse.

"Okay let's start upping your medication..." said the nurse.

Fernando bursted in firing his machine gun.

"Our residents are trying to rest!" said the nurse firing a pump action shotgun! Coooooool!

This scared Fernando away.

"Thanks Beatrice!" said Abe.

"No problem, Mr Simpson. Now are you taking your medicine that stops you turning into a lady?" asked the nurse.

...

At the Simpsons house. The Simpsons were sitting around bored. Bart was reading a comic. Suddenly there was frantic knocking at their front door.

"You've got to let me in! Somebody's trying to kill me! Oh god! Let me in!" yelled Abe.

Marge got up.

"It's Grampa! And by the looks of things he got into the horse radish again..." said Marge.

They took Abe in and let him lie on the couch with a sweat cloth.

"And then a knife flew at me! And you were there! And you were there!" said Abe.

"Uh maybe I should moisten your wash cloth Grampa." said Lisa.

"It's plenty moist! Listen up. Mr Burns is trying to kill me and it's all because... Uh I can't tell you why..." said Abe.

"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll think up something... Maybe you just need more of my classmates around..." said Bart.

"I have to hole up here for a while! They might still be after me!" said Abe looking out the window.

"Grampa seems more agitated then usual. Maybe we should let him stay." said Lisa.

"But where will we put him?" Marge asked.

"Bart's room." Homer voted.

"Bart's room." Lisa voted.

"Definitely Bart's room." Marge agreed.

"Dumpster." said Bart.

"Dumpster." said Oscar.

"Dumpster." said Hugo.

"Whattthe! How did you get out of the attic?!" Homer gasped.

"I let him out to balance the votes. It's a tie Homer." said Oscar.

"Maggie hasn't voted." said Homer being smart.

Maggie sucked her pacifier. The subtitles read Bart's Room.

"I speak fluent Pacifier. She said Dumpster." said Oscar smirking.

The Simpsons groaned and Bart laughed.

"We'll discuss this family matter seriously over dinner, boy..." growled Homer in his series one voice at Oscar, prodding his cute little nose before dragging Hugo upstairs.

Oscar and Bart high fived.

...

At dinner.

"Now can we seriously discuss where to put Grampa?" Marge asks.

"Without dumping him on poor Bart." said Oscar. "I know you all might not like Bart that's no reason to be mean to him."

"Well someone will have to volunteer." said Marge.

"Oh oh oh! I want Grampa to stay in my room!" said Homer sounding exactly like Itchy as he held up Maggie's arm. "And want him every night forever and ever! Because I love my Grampa!" However Maggie clipped his mouth shut with her hair clip.

"Uh..." said Marge confused.

"Never, ever do that voice again..." said Oscar in a murderouse tone to Homer.

That night a point of view from the Simpsons dumpster looked up at Bart's bedroom window as he looked down smirking deviously. He obviously got his own way as the first person view was Grampa's. We pan up to Bart's room as he watches Grampa rolling about in the garbage.

"You're a cruel little monster!" Grampa ranted.

"Night Grampa..." said Bart shutting his bedroom window and going to bed.

"Oh for Pete's sake! Narrator please!" Marge ranted.

"I don't know why you're concerned. He's not your dad Mom..." said Bart.

Marge stormed off to her room.

Homer was reading an Archie comic and was still annoyed they banished him. "No good Riverdale punks..."

"Homer you're setting the kids a bad example about respecting their Grampa." said Marge.

"Dad calls me a melon head... And I'm sure your mother doesn't like me very much..." said Homer.

"Homer need to do something! Remember when we took your father on a day out and they made cheeky comments about his odour?" said Marge.

"Grampa smells like that trunk with the wet bottom." said Bart sat in Marge's orange car next to Lisa and Maggie.

"He smells like a photo lab." said Lisa.

"Stop it! Grampa smells like an old man, which is like a hospital hallway." said Homer.

"That's terrible. We should teach them to value the elderly. We'll be old someday." Marge sighed.

"Okay. Okay I'll straighten it out with the kids tomorrow." Homer sighed.

Next door.

"And Lord, thank you for gifting us all with wholesome, nutritious vegetables. Mmmmmmm!" said McGee helping Nicholas and the Flanders boys pray.

"No." said Todd.

"No? Uh uh uh! Yes!" said McGee in a cheery but annoying shrill manner sounding exactly like Roboppi from Yugioh Vrains in his human form.

"McGee you're offending Bob, Larry and the other Veggietales by saying their nutritious..." said Todd.

McGee grimaced. "Maybe that Veggietales has warped your minds a tad..."

...

At breakfast.

The kids were eating cereal.

Grampa was covered in garbage.

"Well that was a terrible night." said Abe with a banana skin on his head and garbage stains and garbage over him.

"Bart why are you so mean to Grampa..." Marge sighed.

"Why didn't any of you volunteer to take him into your rooms?" Bart retorted.

"Because... Fine! We'll all take turns! Are you happy now?" Marge ranted.

"Not until Gramps has a bath... Yeeech!" Bart gagged at the stench of garbage.

Marge sighed and frowned at Homer.

"Sheesh! Okay I want all of you kids to be nice to Grampa! No more shenanigans! Especially from Oswald!" Homer sighed as Marge made him be a more supportive son to his dad.

"My name is Oscar!" Oscar ranted.

"I don't care." said Yami Bakura.

"I still say Grampa smells like that trunk with the wet bottom." said Bart eating his cereal.

"I have a wet bottom..." said Oscar. He had wet his diaper.

"Ugh!" Bart groaned.

"Bart enough! Be nice to Grampa!" Marge scolded him.

"Lucky Charms eh? That reminds me of that time..." Abe was looking at the boxes of cereal.

"Oh for the love of Radioactive Man! No! Nooooooo!" Bart groaned putting his fingers in his ears.

"I wonder how your friends' Grampa rents are doing?" Marge asked.

Grampa Van Houten's RV.

"Close the door! You're letting the heat out!" Grandma Van Houten yelled.

"Shut up... shut up... shut up!" Grampa Van Houten yelled.

Springfield Courthouse.

Judge Roy Snyder dropped his muffin. "Oh blazes..."

"Haw Haw!" Judge Muntz laughed at him.

"Mom I don't really care... and Oz I highly doubt Judge Muntz Haw Haws at people like Nelson does..." Bart sighed.

...

Bart was with Grampa in his room as he unpacked. Grampa was telling stories about the war.

"Gramps why do you keep telling such stories?" Bart sighing. "They're nothing but gibberish..."

Gramps blustered gibberish in anger. "Well sonny, what's this then?" He showed Bart his Flying Hell Fish Tattoo.

"Wrinkly gibberish?" Bart asked.

Gramps made an annoyed jabber. "It's a tattoo of my regiment. The Flying Hell Fish!"

"Coooooool! You have a tattoo?! Wanna see mine?" Bart didn't even give him time to answer as he showed off his Mother Tattoo.

Grampa was even more annoyed. "Bart! Does your mother know you have that?!"

"Why yes! They were really mad at first. Then they just gave up as I evaded every attempt to get it removed " said Bart.

Grampa sighed. And told him that badly behaved boys like Bart were sent off to war. Abe joined when he was very young...

"Abraham, you've been on duty all day, it's time you had a nap. You'll get cranky otherwise." said a soldier to a little boy in oversized army uniform. The boy is supposed to be Abe as a kid.

"But I dun wanna!" Little Abe cried as he was taken to have a nap.

"Come on now Abe..." his commanding officer sighed.

Bart rolled his eyes at Grampa's silly story.

"Eventually I reached he rank of colonel and lead my own regiment. The Flying Hell Fish. The bravest but most ruthless band of men you could ever meet!" said Grampa.

"There was Asa Phelps, Hepassed away recently."

"Iggy Wiggum..."

Iggy Wiggum's backpack exploded from a live grenade inside. "Oops!"

Everyone laughed.)

"Gumble."

(A tank burped)

"Sheldon Skinner."

A strict soldier that looked like Skinner was annoyed that someone tapes a Kick Me sign to his back. The soldiers laughed at him.

"Szylack..." Abe lists more names. "Ox..."

"And there was always one bad apple in the cart... Private C Montgomery Burns... (A young Mr Burns with ginger hair was pretending to be dead or seriously injured to rest on a gurney because he was tired.)"

Plot 3

"Wait! Wait! How comes you were a colonel and Burns was a private?!" Bart asked.

"He got demoted for assaulting a major." said Grampa.

"Oh." said Bart.

Private Burns continued to frustrate Colonel Simpson by foiling his assassination attempt on Hitler with a wayward tennis ball and other annoying things.

Eventually they found a hoarde of paintings at a captured German castle. Burns was eager to take them. Abe didn't want to be involved in looting but his soldiers made a good point that the Nazis didn't deserve the paintings. Abe also thought the money would keep him out of an old people's home.

However they needed to keep their illegal horde a secret until long after the war. The decided on a wager. Last man live would get the entire horde.

"Nice story Gramps..." Bart sighed not believing him.

"Ooooh! My own grandson doesn't believe me..." said Abe.

However Mr Burns on a crane smashed into the house.

"Santa?" Lisa asked.

"Oops! wrong room, little girl! Go back to sleep!" said Mr Burns. He smashed into Bart's room.

"Aaaaaagh! Please don't kill me!" Abe cried frightened.

"Simpson I have grown tired of trying to kill you. Just hand over your key to the Flying Hell Fish Bonanza!" said Mr Burns.

"Wow! There really is a Flying Hell Fish bonanza?! Whatever you do, Grampa don't give it to him!" said Bart.

Gramps smiled at his grandson and turned to Mr Burn. "No."

Mr Burns was furious. "Very well Simpson! This time I will not fail to kill you and wrench your key from your cold dead hands!"

"Your proposal is acceptable." said Edgar the alien cockroach from Men in Black.

"Oh shut up!" Mr Burns said to Edgar.

Bart gasped in horror. He stood up for his grampa.

"Grrrrr! If you dare to hurt my Grampa you'll have to go through me!" Bart yelled angrily.

"That's the point young Simpson." said Mr Burns pointing a gun at him. Bart and Abe gasped.

"Monty you cowardly retch!" Grampa snarled.

Mr Burns swore as a bullet struck his hand making him drop his gun. He stopped when he heard a gun being cocked.

"Don't even think about it." said Oscar holding a hand gun.

"I shall make a hasty retreat! But I will be back Simpson! The Flying Hell-fish bonanza will be mine!" said Mr Burns pulling the crane out and leaving. Then he came back. "Oh and there's now a bounty on all of your heads." He left again.

Oscar stowed his gun away in his hammer space.

"Oz I'm not thanking you because I don't like guns!" Bart frowned.

"Oh sweet hot diggity! Thank you sonny!" Gramps hugged Oscar.

"Gramps!" Bart whined.

Oscar grinned as Bart's Grampa hugged him.

Bart rolled his eyes annoyed.

...

At lunch the following afternoon.

Oscar was eating a tin of del Monte fruit pieces in syrup.

"Mmmmmmmm... Del Monte..." he drooled eating the fruit.

However he was being sniped by Fernando. "Ah Del Monte... enjoy them as your last, little boy..." said Fernando.

Oscar noticed he had a red dot on his forehead from a sniping laser. "Holy crud! I'm Indian!" He yelled but Bart dived at him knocking him over as a shot fired at where he was.

"Curses!" Fernando scowled.

"Uh let's get outta here..." said Bart.

"My fruit pieces in syrup!" Oscar cried.

Bart sighed.

On the streets of Evergreen Terrace. Bart asked people related to members of the Flying Hell-fish if their Grampas or Dads bored them silly going on about the Flying Hell-fish.

Ralph shook his head. "I never met my Grampa."

Figures. He was one of the first Flying Hell Fish to die. Bart thought.

"Yes but old Pappy did go on and on about Flying Hell Fish this and the good old days... then he died tragically in that remembrance parade in 1979." said Chief Wiggum.

At Moe's.

"Urrrrrrrp! Yeah my Dad went on and on about flying bell fish or whatever. Uuuuuurp!" Barney said belching.

Bart winced deciding he would be even less reliable on intel than Ralph.

At school, Skinner's office.

"Ah, now that story takes me back Bart... My father's days during the war.,,, Private Sheldon Skinner they called him. I just called him Pops or Father..." said Skinner.

Bart winced.

Unlike Ralph and Barney, Skinner was very informative. Boring but informative.

"So that gutless millionaire Burns has gone rogue eh?" asked Skinner.

"Yeah, I'd talk more but I have to get back home to my son's and get a nap. I'm in for a sore and smelly night..." said Grampa.

The lounge.

"Lis where's Oscar?" Bart for someone reason was caring about where he was.

"He's gone into the CGI dimension behind the bookcase." said Lisa.

"OMG! It's like Toy Story in here!" Oscar yelled as an ethereal sounding voice.

That night Marge and Homer tried to make love... Eeeeeew!

"You call that love making?!" Abe ranted.

"Oooooooh! Homie I told you he wouldn't sleep through it..." Marge groaned.

Homer sighed and banished Abe to the dumpster outside.

"Homer! No! Don't be so cruel! He can sleep on the couch!" Marge said sharply.

Abe approached the dumpster gingerly. Suddenly he was spooked by Clownjas bursting out of the garbage and jabbering angrily.

"Oz get your flipping clown things out of the dumpster!" Bart yelled from inside.

...

Bart and Grampa realised Mr Burns was a menace and was stooping to immoral methods like murder to get at the Flying Hellfish bonanza. They had to get it first.

"But we would need Burns's key." said Abe.

Bart pondered.

"Bart get ready, we're all going out for lunch with Aunt Patty and Selma." said Marge.

Bart sighed.

"Can I stay at home?" Oscar asked.

"No I'm afraid not sweetie. You're very vulnerable to endangering yourself." said Marge ie his behavioural difficulties and outlandish antics. Also because he's just a kid.

"Can I stay at home?" Homer asked.

"Certainly not!" said Marge.

"Why not?" Homer asked.

"Because bub! The last time we left you home alone, you rushed your teeth with mayonnaise!" said Marge annoyed.

"Eeeeeeeeww!" The kids groaned in disgust.

"Dad that's disgusting!" said Lisa.

"Ugh..." Bart groaned.

"I had mayonnaise in my sandwich yesterday!" Oscar cried.

Later they arrived at the Gulp N Blow.

"Even better than a hot Texas summer!" said Avery Texan, Rich Texan's gay grandson. He was having lunch with his Mom and Grampa.

"Well if it isn't our flubber in law." Patty quipped when the Simpsons arrived.

Selma laughed.

Homer seethed as they made crude remarks about him.

Marge sighed.

"We're only really here to pad out the length of the episode." said Patty.

"Well thank the a Lord Oscar didn't pad out the story with clowns..." said Bart.

Oscar glared at him.

They ordered lunch. Gulp n Blow is a burger restaurant similar to Krusty Burger except with onion rings. Also Homer and Grampa both once worked there.

"I'll have a Gulp Burger with secret sauce." said Bart.

"It's not a secret no more. An unknown saboteur over heard kitchen staff discussing the recipe and methods to make the sauce and sold the secret recipe to other restaurants... Even Krusty knows how to make it now..." said a student with acne working there.

Homer whistled nonchalantly.

...

At Home Bart was typing away on the computer doing something that involved Grampa's Hellfish Bonanza quest. Probably looking at the schematics of Mr Burns's mansion to find a way in to get his key.

Bart winced as Jumpstart 3rd Grade Adventures was open in a small window with inane, corny character voices and sounds playing.

"Moooooom! Who installed this lame-oh software on the computer?!"

"Those Jumpstart games are for Oscar. He likes cute, wholesome things!" said Marge.

Bart sighed.

Bart and Grampa snuck out that night.

"We'll bring Teddy." said Oscar following as the omnipresent narrator.

"Why?" Bart grimaced.

"Because I have the nose of a bloodhound!" said Teddy sniffing. His big wet shiny black round nose quivering and twitching.

Bart sighed.