'''Team Homer''' Homer helps Moe reboot his tavern after seeing Ned's extensive cocktail list when they pay his rumpus room a late night visit, Bart incites a riot at school with a naughty t shirt so Skinner introduces a school uniform and Mr Burns gets high on Ether!

Then Homer goes bowling.

== Plot ==

The chalkboard gag is Bart writing "I am not certified to remove Asbestos." But he has crossed out Remove in each line and wrote install instead. After the bell rings he starts chanting "More asbestos! More asbestos! More asbestos!"

"Bart!" Oscar yells.

The titles continue as usual.

The couch gag is the Simpsons sitting down and a family of mice sitting down on their couch in a mouse hole.

The episode begins with Bart and Milhouse at the Android's dungeon buying comics. Bart sees a special addition of MAD magazine on sail.

"Wow! A special edition of MAD magazine! They only come out seventeen times a year!" Bart picks up the magazine and skims through it.

"They're really sticking it to that Spiro Agnew Guy again... he must work there or something." said Oscar.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! Rrrrrrrrgh!" Headless Spiro Agnew growled and stomped his feet.

"Yes, thank you Agnew. Aroooooooo blblblblbl!" said Richard Nixon.

Bart sweat dropped.

"Let's see the fold out!" said Milhouse. "Which higher power Do celebrities answer to?" The two ask reading the puzzle. "I say Jesus." Milhouse replies.

They fold the puzzle. It makes a picture of a dollar sign.

"Wow!" They gasp.

"You fold, you buy." said Comic Book Guy.

Bart takes the magazine home and reads it with his dad. Homer hasn't folded the fold out puzzle properly so has got the wrong answer. "The almighty ollar? Oooohhh! I got it!"

Bart is reading jokes and laughing.

"Anyone ready for pork chops tonight?" Marge asked.

"Noooooo! I wanted roast beef you clod!" Homer was reading insults to use.

"Hmmmmm! Homer I don't like that magazine! It's a bad influence on Bart and the man on the front is ugly!" said Marge. "Plus it causes a dangerous amount of laughter."

"Mmmmm... deadly laughter..." said Oscar.

"Oh cool! Iron ons! Too bad for the bath... Never trust a 10 year old... Gahahahaha!" said Bart. There were iron on T shirt designs.

...

One evening Homer was at Moe's.

"Hey where's Barney, Lenny and Carl?" Moe asked.

"It's Wednesday night! They're at their Stonecutters. Or should I say No Homers club..." Homer replied. "Anyway you were a Stonecutter, why aren't you there?"

"Ah I got kicked out last week for eating all the Rocky Road Baskin and Robbins..." said Moe. "I might as well close up for the night..."

"No. I'm gonna drink you under the table." said Homer.

"No Homer that would be extremely unprofessional for me, the barkeep to get drunk..." said Moe.

"I'm gonna drink you under-" said Homer.

"Homer it's getting late, I'm closing..." said Moe.

"Aghhhh! Nooooo! Please!" Homer cried.

"Sorry Homer, I can't believe I'm saying this but you'll have to find another bar for the night..."

"I know! my neighbor Ned has a bar!" said Homer.

They break into Ned's rumpus room and pour themselves some beer.

"Well Hi diddly ho neighborinos! What brings you here this time of night?" Ned asked.

"Can't talk, drinking." said Homer.

"Okilly dokilly!" said Ned.

"Look at this fancy pants bar! Blackberry schnapps, Cosmopolitan... Flanders Punch... Marriage and Communion on the Beach..." Moe was reading a cocktail list. "And I only sell Duff Beer!"

"Maybe you'll get more customers Moe if you started selling more drinks?" Ned asked.

"Nah I don't have the money..." said Moe.

"Oh my wife's wanting to know where I am. I better get off home to my kids. Good night guys." said Homer.

"Night Homer!" said Ned and Moe.

...

At school Mrs Krabbaple is assigning Homework when Bart suddenly interrupted her. "Oh! It's so hot today! I think I might take off my sweater!" said Bart wearing a green sweater. He took it off and slowly reaveled the message on a white mad magazine shirt. "Down with Homework!" Krabappel read each word as Bart revealed them.

"Don't look at it children!" she gasped but the other children had already seen it.

"That shirt has a point." said Nelson.

"Yeah!" said Milhouse.

The kids then started chanting "Down with homework! Down with homework! Down with homework!" They then bursted out of the classroom and stormed down the halls.

During the riots during which kids threw books out of the window and played with the board erasures Ralph got in and ate the paste.

"Uh Ralph? What are you doing here? This is fourth grade..." said Oscar finding Ralph under his desk eating paste.

"Who cares? It's Ralph!" said Bart leading a riot.

Meanwhile Super Nintendo Chalmers was holding an inspection.

"Skinner I must say I am very, very pleased! I think I might give this inspection a perfect ten! Now I shall start with a zero..." said Chalmers. "Then a vertical line for a one..." However he never got to finish as a crowd of rioting children stormed down the corridor knocking Chalmers over and walking on his head.

"Skinner! Why are there children walking on my head?!" Chalmers asked angrily. So angry in fact that he addressed Skinner with a loud Skinnnnneeeerrr!

"Skinner grabbed something and retrieved Bart from the crowd holding him by the scruff of his t shirt.

...

In Skinner's office Bart sat with his shirt off as Skinner examined it.

"So MAD, we meet again..." said Skinner dumping it in his waste paper basket.

"How did you know it was from MAD?" Bart asked.

"Because back in 'Nam at oh sixteen hundred hours one of my sergeants took off his flack jacket to reveal a shirt with the slogan "Up with Miniskirts." I didn't see the funny side of it but my entire platoon were in hysterics. Just enough of a distraction for the Charlie's... I spent years in a POW camp fed nothing but a sort of thin stew consisting of fish, vegetables, prawns... (Bart winced when he said prawns) coconut milk and four kinds of rice... I went mad trying to find it here in the States but they just don't get the spices right!" said Skinner having another Vietnam flashback.

"Uh Skinner... my punishment?" Bart asked.

"Oh I haven't decided. How about you just wear this cushion cover home?" said Skinner dressing Bart in a couch cushion cover.

...

The following night Moe has to close early again and Takes Homer his only customer bowling. The comment how because everyone else is at Stonecutters/No Homers Club tonight is boring.

"I'll say! I have nothing to do while my brother Sanjay and his boy Little Jamshed are running my store." said Apu. By which he meant Little Jamshed scaring the fuck out of shoplifters by pointing a huge shotgun at them!

"Oh boy! I have waited for this day!" said Little Jamshed pulling out a shotgun. Jimbo and the gang who were eating the cereal again fled in fear.

"I know! We can form a bowling team! It would be hilarious!" said Homer.

"Can I have a lane a man asked Squeaky Voiced Teen.

"Teams only tonight sir." said Squeaky Voiced Teen. "I couldn't even give a lane to my own mother."

"I have no son..." said Lunch Lady Doris. Oh my god!

"Ahem, my team would like to play..." said Homer arriving with Moe and Apu.

"Teams have to be four players. Where's your fourth member?" Squeaky Voiced Teen asked.

"Well... um... Oh he's over there playing on the toy grabber claw machine! That guy has been playing with us for ages..." said Homer pointing to Otto who was more interested in getting a lobster kazoo from the toy grabber claw machine.

"Come on Lobster kazoo..." said Otto playing on the machine.

"Oh... well you still need a uniform and $5,000 deposit to start a bowling team." said Squeaky Voiced Teen.

Pin Pals groaned. "Five thousand? Where are we gonna find that?!"

"Oh I know!" said Homer.

...

Mr Burns was having his nails down one morning but the nail file was hurting him.

"Oh Smithers I can still feel the emery board!" said Mr Burns. Whining.

"I'll get some more Ether." said Smithers going off to get some.

"Leave the rag..." said Mr Burns. Smithers gave him the rag. Mr Burns then sniffed it and got high on Ether.

"Um Mr Burns?" Homer asked nervously as he walked into the office just as Smithers left.

"Pop n Fresh! You joyous glob of goo! I know what to do with you!" said Mr Burns hallucinating Homer as the Pop N Fresh mascot. He started poking his stomach. Homer giggled. However in reality Mr Burns was poking him in the eye.

"Hehehehe! Ow! Uh Mr Burns, I was wondering if you'd like to sponsor my bowling team for five thousand dollars." asked Homer.

"Why sure! I owe my robust physique to your triple bleached tubes of goo! Here you go!" said Mr Burns writing him a check.

"Woohoo!" Homer cheered. He ran out. "Guys if you need to ask Mr Burns a favour do it now! He's doped up or dying or something!"

Hans Moleman as a janitor ran in. "I require seventeen dollars for a push broom rebristling..." said Hans Moleman.

"Why if it isn't that delightful TV leprechaun! I'm gonna get your lucky charms!" said Mr Burns fetching an electric drill and pointing it at Moleman's head. We here it be turned on and a horrible squishing sound.

"Oh no! My brains..." Moleman groaned...

Oscar screamed with hysterical laughter when he saw this. "Cooooool! Mr Burns went from a total bore to a cerebral bore! I'm going Turok on Lucky the leprechaun next time he steals my cerea!"

...

At home that evening while Homer went bowling, Bart and Oscar were fighting over Bart's green sweater.

"Oscar let go!" Bart yelled as they had a tug of war over the sweater.

"No! I want it! It's a cute sweater!" said Oscar.

"Oscar my Grandma knitted it for me! Go and knit yourself one!" said Bart getting the jumper off of him.

"Nah... I'll just go to Wee Monsieurs..." said Oscar.

Then Oscar tried to delete from this very article everything involving Homer bowling and Pin Pals because he was too lazy to write and inventive about it. Plus he thought the only Tv Dad that should be bowling is Fred Flintstone.

"Well tough! I'm the main story and Bart's shenanigans is the B story..." said Homer.

...

The next day at school was a special assembly.

"Yesterday a certain slogan incited a riot! No! Don't try to remember it... To prevent such a reoccurrence I have decided to introduce a school uniform!" said Skinner.

"Uniform?!" said all the kids. They all glared at Bart and threw screwed up balls of paper and shoes at him.

Skinner had a catwalk fashion show showing off the boy's and girl's uniforms. Martin was showing off the boy's uniform, Lisa demonstrated the girl's... However everyone threw paper and shoes at her.

"Willie bring in the uniforms." said Skinner. Willie came in with a forklift truck carrying boxes of uniforms.

"Children help yourselves in an orderly fashion. Don't push! We have plenty from sizes small to extra large!" said Skinner. Miss Hoover whispered to him. "Oh actually we've ran out of Extra Large."

"Awwwww!" a very fat kid groaned.

Meanwhile in the school kitchen.

"Uh Mom we've ran out of gym mats for the gym mat meat puddings!" said Squeaky Voiced Teen.

"I have no son." said Lunch Lady Doris as she made lunch.

...

The next morning before school.

"Mooooom! These pockets aren't big enough to carry my slingshot and these shorts leave nothing to the imagination!" said Bart.

"And they taste terrible!" said Oscar eating a pair. Bart grimaced at him.

"Oscar don't eat the shorts..." Marge sighed.

"These uniforms suck..." said Bsrt.

"Bart! Watch your language!" Marge told him off. "Where are you learning that?!"

"Oh last night's game was the suckiest bunch of sucks that sucked so hard they sucked!" said Homer on the phone.

"Homer! Watch your language!" Marge told him off.

"Oh gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening..." said Homer putting down his phone.

"We're not wieners!" said Lisa.

"Then why are you dressed like one." said Homer.

"They made us..." Lisa sighed.

"That's loser talk! I taught you better than that!" said Homer.

"Daaaaad, if we don't turn up to school in a uniform we get sent home or suspended..." said Lisa.

Homer screamed. "Agggghhhh! Watch out Lisa, don't give the boy ideas...!"

Bart had a smug look on his face thinking about defying the uniform rule to get suspended.

== Plot 2 ==

At school everyone was marching in an orderly fashion.

"I love such discipline! Oh and I like that walking sound! So orderly!" said Skinner.

In Miss Krabappel's...

"Now why you all have quiet time I'll just be adjusting my desk to ninety degrees children." said Krabappel as she adjusted her desk. He big butt was tempting Bart just like in [[Meet The Lovejoys]] with the Sunday school teacher. And just like that Bart was tempted to use his slingshot but again something stopped him.

"There's something I used to do... but... can't remember!" Bart groaned before giving up and putting his slingshot away.

Nelson tried to laugh at him but couldn't.

At recess everyone bounced balls in an orderly manner and swung in the swings quietly.

"No Matt! Rod doesn't attend this school!" said Oscar off screen. He marched on screen in a huff in his school uniform and tapped Lisa. "You're it."

No you're it." said Lisa in monotone.

"Such wonderfully well behaved children! Nothing has gone wrong so far Skinner!" said Chalmers jinxing it... It started raining...

"Why it's beginning to rain!" said Skinner. "Ohohohoho! But I can hardly be blamed for that!"

"Yes..." Chalmers muttered.

However as their uniforms got wet they went rainbow coloured!

"Wow! Look at all these colours!" said Bart.

"Red, yellow I remember these colours!" said Lisa.

"I'm freaking out!" yelled Milhouse.

"I remember now! Down with homework!" said Jimbo.

"And down with these uniforms!" said Martin skipping about without his shirt on.

"But I thought you liked them, Martin." said Oscar.

"Quiet you!" Martin hushed him.

Suddenly everyone rioted and threw things at Chalmers.

"Skinner! Why are these uniforms not colourfast?!" Chalmers yelled.

"I don't understand! I got them from the same place I get take Mother- Oh god! She's out in the park!" Skinner ran off.

"This I gotta see!" said Chalmers running after him.

...

Speaking of uniforms. Apu arrived with the home made kit for Homer's team.

"Pin Pals... Awwww! And it's got our faces on it..." said Homer.

However while bowling Otto wanted to play on the toy grabber claw machine.

"No Otto! We must think of a mantra to encourage him!" said Homer.

"You can do it Otto! You can do it Otto! That's our motto!"

"And I serve gelato!" said Apu.

"Orson Welles drinks Blotto!" said Moe during the chant.

"Domo arigato Mr Roboto! Domo arigato, Mr Roboto! I mean you can do it Otto!" said Homer.

"Guys we won..." said Otto.

"Yaaaaaaay!" they cheered.

...

At Home Bart and Lisa were happy that the uniforms were being disbanded because of Skinner's foo bar. They were burning them on a bonfire. Marge wasn't happy they were wasting such nice clothes.

"Hmmmmm! It's such a shame they're so badly colour ran..." Marge sighed. "They were cute uniforms."

At dinner.

"What happened to my bowling story?" Homer asked finding the new scripts.

"It was boring! Bart's story was stronger and more interesting." said Oscar. "Who wants to watch you bowling?!"

"It was a well thought out story of betrayal and swindling Mr Burns and Otto..." said Homer.

"Do you realise how cliched you playing bowling is? Let's see which other TV dads play bowling... Oh I know! Fred Flintstone..." said Oscar.

"I want my story!" Homer ranted.

"Okay! Okay! I'll give you a story!" said Oscar.

Homer was sleeping at work when Raphael as a worker blew the horn to tell him it was home time as the Flintstones theme played.

"Yabba dabba dooo!" Homer cheered. He slide down a pipe into his car, breaking a window in the process. He drove home singing to the Flintstones theme.

"Homer, Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in historyyyy... From the town of of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut treeeeee! Aghhhhh!" Homer crashed into a chestnut tree.

Then the Simpsons got home. Homer had Dino from the Flintstones poking his head out of the sun roof.

A couch gag initiated. The Flintstones were sitting on the couch. Fred offered the Simpsons a spot on the couch as a guitar riff played.

"Oh that's real mature Oscar..." Homer sighed.

...

The family had gone to the shops but when they returned to the car Snake had stolen the wheels.

"Oh no! Someone took the wheels!" Marge gasped.

"That's okay... I'll just Flintstone the car!" said Homer. He was due to have the chassis rebuilt after the floor of the car got eaten away by him trying to drive it in the sea once. So he could now use his legs to walk the car Flintstones style... "Yabbaaaaa...!" Homer grunted as he struggled to drag the the car while sat inside it with his legs like the Flintstones.

His family rolled their eyes.

At home Bart found Oscar in his room wearing a caveman fur vest and humming the Flintstones theme.

"Oz...Oz!"

Yeah?" Oscar asked.

"How long are you gonna keep this up?" said Bart.

"As long as I have ideas!" said Oscar. Now let's see. Has Skinner got a plan B for his uniform?""

"No he gave up. We can go back to wearing our usual clothes." said Bart. "Which I'm relieved by."

"Okay how about you getting expelled again..." Oscar asked.

"What have you got in mind..." Bart asked.

At school Bart and Oscar got put in isolation.

"This is you getting us Expelled?" Bart asked.

"I thought starting a food fight was an expulsion offence..." said Oscar.

Outside Willie's tractor awas running but on brake. It's exhaust valve's lid was going up and down. Willie was nowhere to be seen...

Bart and Oscar found a way out of the detention room, an airvent. Oscar gave Bart a boost and he went into the vent. Oscar had a rock and looked around shifty before tossing it into the vent.

"Ow!" came Bart's voice. He must have hit him.

Oscar giggled deviously.

Bart eventually made his way to an external vent that got him outside. Oscar soon followed.

They found Willie's tractor. The exhaust vent lid was going up and down.

"Loooook! Willie's tractor! It's talking!" said Oscar being silly.

"Don't be stupid Oscar..." said Bart. "What's it saying then..."

"It's saying 'click! Click! Click!'" said Oscar.

Bart rolled his eyes. However he noticed Willie was nowhere to be seen. The tractor was alone and running. Ready for whatever Bart desired it for. It was so tempting.

However Oscar was right. In his imagination Bart heard the tractor valve speaking to him.

"Come on Bart ride me!" said the tractor valve.

Bart pondered this. It was very tempting but he didn't want to get in trouble. "I dunno..."

"Bwarkbwarkbwark!" The tractor valve made chicken noises.

"He's insulting us!" said a chicken with a posh voice.

Oscar screamed at the sight of a talking chicken and ran off raving something about Mighty Max.

Bart decided to ride the tractor. Unfortunately it was too powerful and took off very fast with him screaming trying to hold on.

...

Meanwhile Chalmers was holding another inspection.

"Third time better be the charm Seymour..." said Chalmers as he examined things.

"Why certainly sir. I wouldn't worry, Bart and Oscar are safely locked up in isolation." said Skinner. Oscar was running about in the background.

"Why I see a fifty cent piece! I shall bend over to pick it up!" said Chalmers.

Bart was heading straight for Chalmers.

"Oh no!" Bart groaned.

"Hmmmm! Seems to be snagged between two flowers..." said Chalmers.

Bart drove closer.

"Oh wait this is a dime!" said Chalmers.

Bart crashed into him.

Bart winced and opened his eyes. Chalmers was fine but in pain.

"Ye Gods! Superintendent Chalmers are you alright" Skinner asked.

"Seymour I've just been ran over by a tractor being driven by a child! No I'm not alright! I think I fractured my pelvis!" said Chalmers.

Chalmers was sent to hospital. When the ambulance left Skinner was furious with Bart.

"Bart! You just cost me a role as an assistant superintendent! Now that job is going to some other principal! Probably one that doesn't still live with their mother! There's no detention harsh enough for this! This is it Bart! You're expelled!"

Bart gasped horrified.

Then he saw in his imagination the tractor valve laughing evilly at him until its lid fell off.

...

Meanwhile Mr Burns was outraged someone swindled him out of Five thousand dollars. "Boweling?!"

"Yes that's for you bowel operation sir..." said Smithers.

"Smithers! Not so loud! Not everyone needs to know that..." Mr Burns whined. "And! Oh my goodness?! Five thousand dollars for bowling?! Who could have... Pop N Fresh... Well Pillsbury Dough boy... you delightful tub of goo... you just made the list..." He wrote a list of enemies and put Pop N Fresh under Uncle Pennybags from Monopoly.

"Uh sir, perhaps in you Ether induced hallucinations you mistook an employee for Pop N Fresh and they took advantage of you?" Smithers asked.

"Hmmmmmm... Well, let's see, who could I mistake for Pop N Fresh out of these leeches I employee..." Mr Burns used the office computer to find which employee looked the most like Pop N Fresh. Homer was the closest match.

I see... you have made a very powerful enemy um..." said Mr Burns.

"Homer Simpson sir, one of you seat warmers from Sector 7 G." said Smithers.

"Simpson eh..."

...

Marge was cross with Bart for getting himself expelled from school. She tried enrolling him in Onward Christian Marching Academy again but once again minutes after dropping him off he ran back screaming being chased by the angry teacher and students for singing Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot.

"Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot."

"Shield your eyes boys! He might start taking another form!" The teacher yelled.

The boy's angry shook their fists as Bart and Marge left.

Meanwhile Homer had amusing bowling games with amusing arranged teams. First was the Springfield cops, and Snake.

"Okay Snake you get this strike and we'll win this game! And uh I might consider releasing you early." said Wiggum as he took of Snake's chains and manacles.

Snake took the bowling ball and counted as he ran down the lane. "One two free four byeeeeeeeee!" He ran off home.

"Oh crap! I guess we forfeit..." said Wiggum.

The next game was against racial stereotypes. The racial stereotypes team was Bumblebee man as the Hispanic, Luigi as an Italian who speaks bad English, Sea Captain the old sea dog and Rich Texan.

"Arrrrrr we once considered Akira joining us..." said Sea Captain.

Despite them teasing Pin Pals they lost.

The finals was against The Holy Rollers. The Lovejoys and Flanderses in monk robes with heavenly light beams shining on them when they arrived.

"Pah they only got so far because of divine intervention..." said Moe.

Then Mr Burns arrived with a plan, if he was sponsoring Homer's bowling team that meant he was a member.

However he was crap and puny and couldn't roll the ball properly. So Oscar scared him away with a garlic golem. Because he was a vampire once.

== Plot 3 ==

Instead of Mr Burns wrecking everything with his puny old man ness, Homer's team beat the sock off of Ned and Tim Lovejoy. The next team was Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble and some cave men.

Homer screamed from madness.

"Yabba Dabba Doo!" Fred Flintstone cheered.

Bart having nothing better to do now he was expelled pranked the bowling balls by putting glue in the holes and sticky taping them to the bowlers. This caused amusing mishaps. And Matthew Corbett was there being pranked by Sooty.

"Bart stop super gluing the bowling balls!" Homer yelled as Fred Flintstone was bowling. "I oughta... Oscar think of how I can teach Bart a lesson for being expelled..."

"Oh I know! If Bart hates school so much you can lock him in the attic and let the thing go to school!" said Oscar.

"No! No way! Hell no!" said Homer.

Oscar pleaded.

"Fine..." said Homer.

Bart was locked up in the attic.

"That's your home now boy. And you'll have fish heads once a day for dinner." said Homer locking him up in the attic as the thing, aka Hugo ran about the house and joined his family.

"Uh so the deformed Bart clone is called Hugo..." said Lisa.

Hugo growled and ran about on all fours like a dog and sniffed Oscar's leg.

Oscar smirked.

At Fourth grade the next day.

"Class you maybe be familiar with Bart's family. Here is his long lost brother Hugo to join us for this semester." said Mrs Krabappel as Hugo stood barefoot in his rags up front. "Take a seat Hugo."

Hugo sat next to Milhouse.

"Peeeeeyeeew! Why do I smell rotten fish?" Milhouse groaned.

Hugo glared at him and ate his fish heads.

"Hugo no eating in class." said Mrs Krabappel. "We'll be doing a pop quiz on World War II." She handed out tests.

Hugo looked at the test. He confidently answered the questions.

Time passed.

"Finished Mrs Krabappel!" said Martin.

"Very good Martin." said Mrs Krabappel.

"Garrrrrrblblblbl grrrrrrrrr! (Predator hiss) (Eerie groan)." Hugo has finished too.

Mrs Krabappel took his test. Impossible! She thought. Hugo seems to be far more studious and intelligent than his brother...

...

Meanwhile at the bowling Alley Otto was so consumed by his obsession with the lobster kazoo he rudely turfed Oscar off the machine.

"Hey! I'm trying to win a Dolpha!" Oscar whined.

"I have a score to settle with this temptress..." said Otto playing on the toy grabber claw machine trying to get the lobster kazoo.

Oscar sighed. "I Could get one of my pet monsters to get the lobster kazoo for you..."

"Oh no, this is my fight..." said Otto.

Homer rolled his eyes at Otto more interested in the toy grabber claw machine.

They paid Hans Moleman a night with Selma to play Otto's turns for him. Hans threw better than Mr Burns but he always suffered some sort of amusing injury.

"Oh dear..." and how is he alive after his brain got drilled you ask? Well he's indestructible.

Hugo was crabby because he was hungry.

"Oscar get snacks!"

"Why me?!" Oscar replied annoyed at his rudeness.

"Because -" Hugo morphed his face into the Predator's from Predator and hissed.

Oscar screamed and ran off to get snacks.

He was ordering a pizza.

"Okay so that's one Hawaiian and one fish head pizza, why we have that on our menu I don't know." said Squeaky Voiced Teen at a pizza restaurant.

"And a toy." said Oscar.

"Sir we don't give out toys with each meal..." said Squeaky Voiced Teen.

"AND A TOY!" Oscar screamed down the phone."

"Okay I suppose I could stop by a toy store along the way..." said Squeaky Voiced Teen.

Homer was bowling.

"Simpson!" Mr Burns yelled.

Homer screamed.

"I know you defrauded me of five thousand dollars but I'm willing to let that go if you let me bowl on your team! Otherwise you're fired!" said Mr Burns.

"Garlic golem..." Oscar summoned the garlic golem.

Mr Burns screamed and fled.

...

At Home. Marge lets Bart out of the attic.

"Sometimes I wonder why I married your father..." she muttered.

"Well I've got no school, might as well go back to bed." said Bart.

"Certainly not! I shall teach you!" said Marge.

"Mom you need certain college degrees to teach..." said Bart.

In the garage.

"General knowledge. Who is a fat jolly man wearing red-" said Marge as Bart's teacher while he's expelled.

"Fat Albert!" Oscar yelled.

"Oscar no shouting out. And no the answer is Santa Claus..." said Marge.

"Hey hey hey! Merry Christmas!" said Fat Albert wearing a Santa hat.

"Oz it's the middle of June!" Bart yelled exasperated.

Someone knocked on the garage shutter.

"Oh, that's right. I invited a guest speaker to talk to the class." said Marge.

The guest speaker was Grampa.

"Hello, children. I got separated from my platoon after we parachuted into Düsseldorf." We cut to a cabaret club.

"So I rode out the war posing as a German cabaret singer." said Grampa. Ie he was cross dressing!

"Oh won't you come home, mein führer? Oh won't you come home!"

"Yoo-hoo." Hitler thought Grampa was beautiful and wooed him.

Grampa gave him a sultry look and slipped down one of his shoulder supports of his dress. However an orange he used as a boob fell out.

Hitler gasped. "Ach du Liebe! Das ist not eine booby." Also he was sat with Göring and Mussolini.

In the present.

"Grampa did that really happen...?" Bart sighed.

Oscar was waving his magic wand and making random characters appear like Fat Albert or Okra Winfrey etc.

"Oz... go and watch cartoons or something..." Marge sighed.

"Okay I will. Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers is on." Oscar went off to watch Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers.