JUNJOU
XIV
PANDORA BOX
Memories can be quite finicky, you can remember days with much clarity as if watching a movie inside your mind. Or you can find blank spaces, wholes of incredible depth were your past should be. And sometimes, events, words, smells or… people, can bring back painful memories you have worked so hard to erase.
With the haze of the heat period gone Shinobu found himself unable to shut down his mind, anything seemed to trigger flashes, pieces of his past he couldn't comprehend. There were bars, a cage of sorts, there were people, so much people, talking, screaming, laughing, blending all together in a cacophony of chaos. Shinobu feared decoding the memories, it seemed he had been blissfully unaware of them until now, why open the pandora box? But something had change, he could feel his body changing in a way he couldn't name but it was there and he needed to know. Having Miyagi by his side was a balm on his distressed brain, but it could only last a while, so one day he left the apartment, ready to find the tall wolf pet that had restarted his torment.
Through word of mouth he found out the pet belonged to Kamijou Hiroki, Miyagi's assistant, so it wasn't a shot in the dark, but how could he find the pet? He tried visiting Miyagi's office every day at different times but the pet never showed up, and there was a limit to how many times he could visit Miyagi's office. It was one of those days, with no luck on finding the wolf when he suddenly smelled something, someone. It triggered another flood of memories, a sense of envy and hurt, but unlike the wolf's essence there was no musk or burning feeling, instead the essence was flowery and soft, barely there. Shinobu decided to follow the smell through a corridor till he found a cat pet, he was just a tad taller than him, with a beautiful chocolate mane and big dark green eyes.
"You!" Shinobu called and the pet looked back to him, confusion showing on his face.
Finally something clicked on Shinobu's mind and he grope the pet by the collar of his shirt, pushing him against the wall "5332" he called, the pet shook his head "I'm sorry I don't understand, could you let me go?"
"5332!" there was a growl and he shook the pet making him hit his head against the wall. This time something crossed the pet's eyes, he was lost in trance for a few seconds then came back, "let me go I say!" the kitten hissed and tried to remove Shinobu's hands from his collar, but Shinobu clawed at them to shake him some more.
"Why are you here? How did you find me? Who else knows?!"
The pet's brows furrowed deeply, "I don't know what you're talking about, you must be mistaken I..."
Suddenly Shinobu's hands were ripped from the pet's collar, and he was pushed to the side, making him tumble to the floor.
"take your paws off my Misaki!" a tall man with gray hair and lilac eyes demanded, pulling said Misaki towards and behind him. The kitten seemed to take in the comfort and reject it at the same time. But Shinobu could not handle anything anymore, he crouched on himself, shaking violently. There was another voice, in the fog of his mind he recognized it as Miyagi's.
"Stop there, what are you doing? There's no tolerance for violence in this university!" Miyagi's voice said, there was an answer, but Shinobu couldn't focus on it, Miyagi's voice seemed like a tether, something to try and hold on, to not go insane. There was so much noise, it was ringing on his ears and the laughing started, the cage, he was again in the cage. When suddenly, someone touched him and he screamed, reacting with boiling fear. He clawed at the person, he yowled, he trashed.
"No! You're not taking me! Miyagi! Miyagi!" he cried, his eyes closed, tears rolling down his face. "Please don't! Don't touch me! Miyagi!"
Then he was surrounded, his arms were tight pressed against himself and there was warmth on his back. A voice, THE voice he could remember spoke to him on his ear. The words made no sense, but whatever it was it started soothing his troubled mind. Slowly, painfully slowly, his heart beat returned to normal, he stopped shaking and opened his eyes, the words finally making sense.
"I'm here, you're safe Shinobu, you're safe"
"Miyagi" he called and the embrace tightened, he felt a soft kiss behind his ear
"I'm here Shinobu, there's nothing to fear"
Shinobu moved and Miyagi let him, so he turned around and embraced him back, starting to cry on his shoulder. "It was so real, the cage, the people, I thought I would never see you again"
"I know, but you're here and you're safe, nothing will harm you, I promise"
"please Miyagi, don't ever let them take me from you, please" Miyagi couldn't understand why the words were said, but he took them and filed them in his mind, to ask Shinobu at another time, when things weren't as fragile.
When Shinobu calmed down, he was so tired and raw that he fell asleep in Miyagi's arms, the professor struggled to raise up still holding the kitten, but he eventually did and took him to his car, there he phoned his assistant and informed him that he was leaving early, and if he could bring his briefcase and the paperwork on his desk.
Once the briefcase was delivered he drove to their home, the kitten barely stirred throughout the drive, and only helped a little to be carried from the car to inside their apartment. There, Miyagi took the kitten to their bed and made a kind of nest around him. Remembering how much he had liked it during their heat period.
In their nest Shinobu slept through the whole afternoon and night, not waking up till next morning.
"You don't need to go to classes today, just stay and relax, I'll be working from the living room if you need anything" Miyagi told him when he came out for breakfast. A part of Shinobu wanted to grumble, he was strong enough to go to class, but sincerely he felt raw, still weary, afraid of a nightmare. So he nodded his head and ate his breakfast as calmly as he could, returning to bed afterwards to sleep some more.
It was around 5 in the afternoon when he woke up again, he could clearly hear Miyagi typing on his computer, the tap sound grounding him. He sat down in the middle of the nest and focused on the sounds, when his breathing was even and his heart was calm he began to open the pandora box. The first memory he assess was the most recent, the chocolate cat had been part of this memory, he had been there, in the cold and hard place, he had been trapped just like him, but unlike him he had been treated as kindly as they could, given the situation. And, unlike him, he had been saved. That thought brought the next memory. "Run, they're escaping! Close the gates!" the voices shouted, there was the sound of the guards running, an alert, "2245! is 2245!" Now with the memory came the face of the wolf pet, Nowaki was his name, he had been the leader of the escape. He never knew how many were able to run that night, but he knew now he felt envious of them.
It was like a puzzle bridge, and the more he thought about it the more pieces fitted on the bridge, till he could almost see the whole picture, the traumatic events of his past.
There were more flashes, pain, medications, when the encounters turned sexual he closed the box and breathed out. He shook, his honey colored main standing on end, his tail shifting in anxious strokes. Should he continue? He looked at the clock, it was 11pm, he couldn't hear Miyagi's typing so he probably was making a late dinner. "Later" he mussed to himself and went out of the bed. More memories would come, but it would be for another day, maybe, when Miyagi wasn't around to ask questions he wasn't ready to answer.
As he had thought Miyagi was at the stove, stir frying onions and mushrooms, as his sensitive nose informed him, and there was a slice of meat, already fried, one for each plate. It was such a homey sight he felt like crying. How much of my luck I have used to find you?" he thought, and smiling he meowed to let Miyagi know he was waiting.
"Oh, I was going to wake you up, put up the glasses and cutlery, dinner is ready"
"yes"
They ate in peace, none speaking, but Shinobu could tell Miyagi wanted to ask, but never did.
"If you feel up to it you can go tomorrow to class, but your professor said it was fine either way, if you don't go I can pass by his office to get you the class notes and homework" said Miyagi taking his plate to the kitchen sink.
"No, I'm fine, I would like to go to class" Shinobu copied Miyagi, immediately washing the dish and putting it on the rack to dry.
"Good, don't force yourself thou, in any case you have my number, I'll be ready to answer, okay?
"Yes, thank you"
They went to bed a little bit afterwards, Shinobu slept cuddling close to Miyagi, letting his mind remember every day since he met him, every sweet moment the professor gave him.
The next morning he woke up fine and relaxed, it was strange, as if nothing had happened, but it had. There were many questions to still answer, but he knew he needed them from someone else, someone who had run away with material from the labs. So he went to his classes like always, but afterwards, he waited for Miyagi's office to empty. First the professor left, Shinobu knew his schedule and he had a 3 hour lecture, then it was the assistant professor, who left quickly with paperwork in his hands. Shinobu waited for a few minutes and then entered the office. Immediately going to Kamijou's desk, opening his drawer he found easily a phone book, he searched anxiously till he found the name, when suddenly there was a click, and the door was opened.
"What are you doing on my desk?" Kamijou almost growled, for a human he could make it so convincingly.
"Nothing, I was looking at the window" Kamijou looked down at the desk, the drawer was closed, nothing seemed moved. Shinobu walked towards Miyagi's desk and nothing seemed to be on his paws as Kamijou checked. "Please don't go touching my paperwork, is very important to keep the same order"
"I won't, I only touch Miyagi's stuff" Shinobu chirped and smiled, "Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall" was all his mind repeated, a paper stuck between his shirt and sweater crinkled and he almost flinched.
"Professor Miyagi won't come till after 6, if you are waiting for him"
"Oh! I thought he would come earlier than that, I won't wait then, I'll just leave his lunch and leave, thank you" Shinobu took out a lunch box from his bag and placed it on Miyagi's desk, he wrote a quick note on a post it note and placed it on top of the lunch box. Then he walked towards the door, again, the paper shifted and he instinctively pressed his arm against his stomach. "Good afternoon" he said and left before Kamijou could answer, or decide to search his drawer and his phone book.
Back at home he took the paper out and unfolded it from the crinkled mess it had become.
"Kusama Nowaki" it said, next a series of numbers gave him exactly what he needed. Shinobu dialed them and waited for the wolf to answer, when he did he breathed in and said what he had prepared the whole day.
"Is this Kusama Nowaki? or should I say 2245"
"who is this?"
"My name is Shinobu, you probably don't know me but I also had a number, it was 6045, we have met before and I don't know how or why but you started something, I need to know what's happening, we need to meet"
"How do I know you're not part of the lab?
"You wont, but just so you understand, I have your contact information, I know your owner's name and work place, if I was part of them I wouldn't have called you, or at least that's what I think"
"Probably, let's meet up then, Shinobu"
The phone call went better than he expected, they decided to meet at a park neither of them frequented, the next day. Shinobu thought he wouldn't sleep well with the anxiety he felt but he slept long and deep next to Miyagi, maybe the professor had something to do with that, Shinobu wondered if the peace would remain even after his past was fully uncovered.
It was 11 in the morning when he went to the park and found the tall wolf sitting on a bench, as agreed he was wearing a black button down shirt and gray pants, with a white duffel bag on his lap.
"Hi, I'm Shinobu, I can't say it's a pleasure to meet you but I'm glad you're here" Nowaki stood up and shook hands with the kitten "You're a pet, I thought you were a human, I don't remember you from the escape group" Nowaki moved back to sit on the bench, signaling with his hand for Shinobu to do the same "so you escaped afterwards?"
"Unfortunately no, I can't remember yet but they let me go for a reason, I need to know why, I don't know if they're looking for me" Shinobu sat down and turned to look at Nowaki, "That day… what happened at your owner's office?"
"Ah! You were the cat!, the memory is hazy but I now remember you, yes, something weird happened at Hiroki's office"
"Yes, and it's of upmost importance to know what happened, I know from my memories that you took some documents from them when you escaped, did you read them? Do you have them?"
"Indeed I took documents, I thought in my childish mind that the humans would use the documents and our instructions to find the lab and save the others, it didn't happen, the humans only made sure we were placed on a pet-orphanage and that was it.
"it doesn't surprise me, there's no legislation protecting us"
"things have changed, maybe they would care now"
"I don't care much, did you keep the documents?"
"Yes, I have them, I don't know why I kept them, I guess I just couldn't let go of them entirely" The wolf took the duffel bag and opened it, quickly taking out a series of papers, held by a clamp. "I thought it would be useful so I brought them with me"
Shinobu took the papers and immediately started reading, but stopped only after a few paragraphs "I don't understand it much, can you?"
Nowaki took the papers and scanned them, "This are documents from my case, here is a genetic line for the mixing they were trying to do, this is a list of my siblings who didn't survive the testing"
It took them around an hour and a half to finish the documents. Between graphics and notes they learned about 2 main testing; Hybrid creations, and the Breeding program.
"It's not enough information" sighed Shinobu, leaning on the bench
"I wasn't able to gather more, we had so little time back then, and I don't know how much they changed their research between the time I run and the time you were let go"
"Did any other pet gathered material?"
"No, unfortunately only I was able to… maybe I could test you to see in which testing you were used in"
"What do you mean?"
"I think I can get you some labs done, if you trust me enough, come with me to the hospital I work, we know the markers they used, we can focus on them to know what they were doing to you, or if there was something else they worked on after I left"
"how are you going to explain the testing to your coworkers?"
"I know someone in the labs, hopefully he can do us the favor and use it as research material"
Shinobu looked at the wolf and then at the papers, they weighted almost nothing on his paws, "fine, let's do this, when can I go?"
"There's no better time than the present, let's go now, my shift will start in an hour, I think we have enough time"
At the hospital Nowaki guided Shinobu to an empty room, a human came with him, they talked briefly, just to present each other, he seemed happy to help, or so Nowaki said. They left for a few minutes and returned with a box of vials. Shinobu hadn't thought about his reaction to needles, so before the lab technician could prepare anything he turned around and closed his eyes, trying to focus on Miyagi's voice inside his mind.
They took many blood samples, it wasn't as hard as he thought, Shinobu even smiled proud of himself. Then, they took urine samples, that part was the easiest.
"Some will be ready within a few days but most will take around 3 weeks or so" said the lab technician, he patted Nowaki on his back and left towards the door "Thank you" both Nowaki and Shinobu said before he left.
Silence reigned for a few minutes, without knowing what else to say Shinobu stood up and walked towards the door "I'll inform you the moment I get answers" Nowaki said, Shinobu nodded and was about to leave when Nowaki took him by the shoulder, stopping him and making him turn around and meet eyes with the gentle wolf.
"I don't know if this will ever be enough but… I wanted to go back for you" Nowaki made pressure with his hand on Shinobu's shoulder, softly, "but there were so many kittens who couldn't run away, they would have been taken back, I was the only grown enough to do the long trek…" Nowaki lowered his eyes and let go of Shinobu's shoulder "I should have gone back, I regretted not doing so for years, only knowing that the ones I saved have grown to become good pets has been enough to calm my mind but for you, I'm sorry, again, I don't think…"
"No, it's okay, I was angry and envious, I hated all of you, but if I had been in your position, I wouldn't have gone back, I can't say I forgive you, but know that I understand… thank you" Shinobu took Nowaki's shoulder and pressed hard on it two times, trying to convey his feelings. The wolf nodded and they parted ways.
- 0 -
Many moths later, in retrospect Shinobu would notice it all started around a month or so after their heat period. The nausea, the vomiting, the headaches and painful cramping. They were not limited to one time in the day and they even last entire days without any reprieve.
He could deal with them, pills, diets and patience helped ease the issues and hide them from the overworking professor. A few times Shinobu wondered if he should maybe visit the doctor but something deep down his heart told him it was no normal illness, instead, he dreaded it had to do with the lab and the experiments.
What he couldn't hide was the nightmares, for an entire week he kept waking up in the middle of the night screaming, trashing, once he even clawed at Miyagi on his sleep. The professor was never angry, he would always ask him what had happened, but Shinobu couldn't say, he would always answer "it's just a nightmare" or "I can't remember" but for how long could he keep the charade?
To his dismay the first test results only created more questions, his hormone levels were "exacerbated" they were basically out of control, when Shinobu mentioned his recent symptoms Nowaki's face tensed. "I need to do some more testing" was the only thing he said and they went to take even more samples.
It was around 3 days later, when he felt his own body was fighting against him, that Shinobu decided to call Nowaki, without letting the wolf speak he cried onto the phone "I think I'm dying, their experiment malfunctioned I don't know"
"Shinobu what's going on?"
"I can't move, the house spirals around me, my legs feel so week, I don't… I can't make it"
"Breath Shinobu, can you make it to the hospital?"
"the hosp…" Nowaki only heard the sounds of hurling and throwing up for a few seconds, then coughing, hard breathing. "Nowaki I don't feel so well, I think" and then there was silence broken only for a second when something was heard hitting the floor.
"Shinobu?! Shinobu!"
Shinobu's mind seemed blurred, his thoughts were scattered. At first he couldn't understand what was happening, he saw the bathroom floor, he felt the coldness of the majolica, then it was all black, no thoughts. Then his eyes opened, he was air born? No, someone was carrying him, the smell was familiar but it was not right, he tried to fight but neither his arms nor his legs would budge, anxiety started to rise with bile, he wanted to say he was going to throw up again, but it seemed the person carrying him noticed and turned his body. Throwing up hurt, it burned his throat and made it difficult to breath. When he was done a cool clothe was pressed and rubbed against his face. There were voices but he couldn't focus on them enough to understand what was said. Then he was been carried again, the motion seemed for a moment to make him throw up again but the bile never formed. He had enough brain power to be thankful. Finally he was placed on something soft, the smell of Miyagi and himself surrounded him. "our bed" he thought and smiled against the soft pillow. All went black again for a moment, for how long, he couldn't tell, but when he woke up again he was awake enough to recognize Miyagi's angry voice. He tried to focus on it, tried to distinguish the words said.
"Why….. who…. You" it didn't make sense, he tried to mewl, he felt Miyagi's anguish had to do with him so he wanted to let him know he was okay, but the mewl came out breathless and hoarse, it was so pitiful he decided to not try again.
"Shinobu" ah, that he could understand, Miyagi moved from where he was, between the bathroom door and their bedroom door, to inside the bedroom, Shinobu blinked slow and let his tail puff up, the result was as expected, Miyagi smiled so tenderly. "are you okay kiddo?"
Shinobu feared to throw up again so he nodded his head slowly. "Don't worry, I'll call the doctor"
Miyagi covered his body and patted his back, warm and calm Shinobu felt at peace so he fell asleep easily, in his dreams he heard Nowaki talking, "There's no need for that, I work for a pet hospital and Shinobu is okay with being seen there, and we already have a result, it's just a stomach infection, unfortunately he didn't care for it enough and is dehydrated, we could bring him to the hospital or you could hydrate him here if you prefer"
"I rather use my own doctor"
"Shinobu trusts me Sir, that's why he called me, please do what he is most comfortable…."
there was another voice, someone he knew but couldn't place at the time, Shinobu felt the voices become less noticeable, blending in with his dream till he was fully asleep.
When Shinobu woke up again he was sleeping surrounded by Miyagi's arms, cuddling against his chest. He smiled, but the smiled lasted only for a few seconds when he felt Miyagi breath deep and sigh.
"You are hiding something from me"
"Miyagi I don't…" for a moment Shinobu feared the worst
"why didn't you tell me you were ill? You almost gave me heart attack fainting like that, you have a bruise on your temple now" Miyagi caressed his forehead, careful of the injured area
"oh… I'm sorry" what else could he say? He was lying again, lying by omission.
"I know you're very independent and competent, is not that I see you as a kitten or anything like that… just… tell me so I don't get gray hairs by hearing you're so ill you fainted, okay?"
"Okay… I'm sorry"
"Shinobu, are you okay just visiting that Nowaki's hospital?"
"yes, I'm fine, I know him, he's kind"
"I don't know, well I didn't know you knew him, he's my assistants lovers so I know something about him but still"
"I do trust him, it will be okay" Shinobu shifted to look up to Miyagi's face
"Fine, keep me posted, please"
"I understand…" Shinobu had half a heart to call Miyagi a worrywart, but talking about the illness remind him of the dread he felt, so he just let it go, cuddling some more against his beloved professor. In response Miyagi petted his head.
"Does it hurt?"
"yes, my stomach a bit"
"that's cause you eat the shit you cook" there was a laugh in between words, the kitten smiled and clawed at the professor's arm softly, barely the tip of his claws pinching the arm. "you eat that too"
"yes, but I have become immune already"
"stupid old men" he mumbled and cuddle even closer, his body pressing against Miyagi's body. "I don't want to leave, I don't want to I don't want to" could he find a solution, was there anything he could do?
Author's note: oh ho ho ho ho, the drama is starting to boil, hope you liked this chapter, there's more drama coming so prepare yourselves : D
