September 1st, 1971

I wake to my mum's voice as she opens my bedroom door, "Wake up! It'll be time to go soon!"
I rub the sleep from my eyes and sit up stiffly, wincing as the clotted blood and scabbing skin on my back cracks open, "Yes, ma'am," I mumble sleepily, then I remember what day it is, "Mum?"
"What?" she snaps.
"You said you'd take me to the platform today, right? Can you cut my hair before we go, too? It'll look bad if I do it myself again like last time, and dad says I look like a girl with long hair."
"I let you sleep in, so we don't have time to give you a haircut. You'll have to just deal with it until Christmas break or cut it yourself when you get to school. And I don't know why he says that. I think you look fine with longer hair. All the men in my family always had hair that length. My side of the family always had wavy hair, though. Your hair is more like your father's. Ah well, go ahead and get up, brush your teeth, and take a quick shower. You don't want to be dirty at sorting!"
"Yes, ma'am," I sigh, and gingerly stand up. I brush my teeth with my worn down toothbrush and water (we ran out of toothpaste a while ago) and take a quick, cold shower. Tears begin to roll down my cheeks as I rinse the soap out of my hair and the welts all over my back begin to burn, but I wipe them angrily away. After I have gotten out, rubbed my hair dry and combed it out as best I could, I put on my jeans, t-shirt and the sweater the factory gave my dad four years ago when he started working there. He gave it to me last Christmas when they gave him a new one. This one's threadbare and huge on me, but I still like it just the same. Last month when I was at St. Mungo's for a checkup to see how my brain was healing, they took my height and weight. I was 4 foot 4 and 54 pounds. They told me I needed to make sure to eat when I get to school so that I can try to catch up to the other boys. I'm still too short and too skinny, but my mum says there's lots of good food at Hogwarts, and I won't have to worry about not being able to eat while I'm there. I'm excited to not have to survive off crackers, rice, canned food, and the occasional meal at Lily's anymore!

When we get off the Knight Bus at King's Cross, we quickly head through the station until we reach platforms nine and ten. My mum and I run through the barrier together. She helps me push my trolley because it is too heavy for me to run with. When it is time to say goodbye, I wave goodbye to her through the open window of the train.
"Stay safe!" I call as the train starts puffing.
"Be good!" she calls back, and then the train is moving, and she's gone. I walk slowly down the corridor to find Lily. Whenever I hear a compartment door slam, I have to fight the urge to run and hide— I have to remind myself that my dad can't find me here. I am getting away. I duck into the bathroom and change into my school clothes, then I go looking for Lily. After a while, I find the compartment Lily's in and open the door. She's been crying, and doesn't want to talk to me, but eventually tells me that Petunia was mad at her because we snuck into her room and read the letter she sent to Dumbledore. I try to tell her that it doesn't really matter, and that she should look on the bright side and remember that at least we're going, but she gets mad at me. At least she sticks up for me when one of the other boys in the compartment calls me a name for wanting to be in Slytherin, though, and when we finally get to Hogwarts, we make sure to stay together until we make it inside the castle.

As we walk through the Great Hall, I notice uncomfortably that I'm the only one wearing such old, beat-up clothes. I'm also the shortest and skinniest one in my class, and the only one with hair that looks like it was cut with kitchen scissors; I can feel the eyes on me as I walk by— following the swish of my graying, second hand robes and my muddy, torn-up boots. The robes are my mum's from when she was at Hogwarts. She shrunk them to fit me, then covered up the green trimmings with an old black t-shirt. We couldn't afford nice shoes, so I have to wear the boots I got from the donation center last Christmas. They're too small now, and pinch my feet. We found my black pants and white shirt at the donation center as well, and my sweater was my mum's. She didn't bother covering the green stitching up, as, "you'll be sorted into Slytherin right away, no doubt." She sewed on the strips of black t-shirt to my robes with a simple basting stitch, so they'll be easy for me to remove after the sorting. I turn my head swiftly to look at the Slytherin table. A regal looking boy with hair so blond it looks white is eyeing me with some disdain. We lock eyes for a second, then I look away. When Lily is sorted into Gryffindor, my heart falls. I look back at her and see her talking to a girl with curly brown hair. What if I don't make friends that quickly? What if Lily makes all new friends and decides she doesn't like me anymore? Lost in my fears of Lily deserting me, the sorting moves very quickly. Soon, Professor McGonagall is calling my name. I snap out of the daze of my thoughts and shuffle up to the stool. McGonagall slips the old sorting hat on to my head. I can feel the rest of the students' eyes on me, judging me. I am not good enough to be here. I am too small, too skinny, too poor, too stupid, too ugly, and and and and…
"Do not be afraid, child," says a small voice in my ear, "you have lived through so much— you are so brave."
Suddenly, a wave of confidence washes over me. I sit up straighter and take a deep breath, thinking, "I don't care about bravery! I just wanna be powerful enough to make my dad be good again!"
"SLYTHERIN!" the hat shouts. It is removed from my head. As I open my eyes, I am no longer trembling. I walk, straight-backed, down to the Slytherin table. The regal looking boy scoots over, smiles at me and beckons to me with his long fingers. I sit down, and look at my knees. The feeling of confidence has worn off, and I'm nervous again. Surprisingly, he pats my back. I flinch as the welts on my back sting. I look up into his eyes, and he gives me another smile. My lips twitch into a small smile back up at him. I look quickly back up to the front table as Professor Dumbledore begins to speak.

Finally, the feast is over and our prefect leads us down to the Slytherin common room and to our dorm. A few of the other boys seem to know each other already, and they talk while putting their things away. I am content to listen and try not to draw any attention to myself. Nobody else here seems to sound like me, either.
"I'm bored," the big, burly one with dark brown hair sighs, and as I look over at him, he looks over at me.
I look back down at the clothes I'm folding.
"You could finish putting your clothes away," suggests the boy with dirty blond hair whose bed is across from mine.
"I have a better idea," the burly boy says, and his bed creaks as he stands up.
I tense up and turn around as he begins walking over to me, "Can I help you?" I ask.
"Yeah, you can, actually. Why don't you put my stuff away for me?" he smiles nastily.
"Nah, I don't think I will," I say, crossing my arms.
"See," the boy smirks, and walks closer to me, "being a mudblood and all, you wouldn't know yet, but what you say doesn't matter. Now go put my stuff away."
"You can't tell me what to do," I state, reaching for my wand.
He shoves me backwards, and I stumble.
"Joseph..." another boy sighs.
I right myself, draw my wand, and quietly say, "Don't touch me."
The boy named Joseph laughs, and shoves me again, saying, "Aw, that's cute, guys, the mudblood thinks he can stop me!"
I trip over my trunk, but manage to catch myself before falling. I square up to Joseph, and look him in the eyes as I say, "I'm gonna tell you one last time: don't touch me."
"Or what? You'll cry?" Joseph laughs, and reaches out to push me again.
This time, I'm ready, and as I dodge his hand, I point my wand at his chest, and murmur, "Petrificus-totalus." His arms and legs jerk together, and he falls to the floor. I squat down next to his head, look into his shocked, scared eyes, and sneer, "Let's get one thing straight— when I say somethin', I mean it. Don't fuckin' touch me," I straighten back up and say, "Oh, and I ain't a mudblood." Content that I've made my point, I look around, and see the rest of my roommates looking at me in shock.
After a pregnant pause, the one whose bed is next to mine to the right walks over to me. He is average height and weight, but a bit gangly, as if he just finished a growth spurt. His short chocolate brown hair is combed neatly back, and his hazel eyes lock with mine as he holds out his hand, "Evan Rosier."
"Severus Snape," I respond.
"How do you already know that spell?" Evan asks.
I shrug my shoulders and turn away to keep putting my things away.
"Do you know the counter-jinx?"
"Yeah."
Evan looks as if he wants to say something, but the other two boys have come up, and he walks back over to his own bed. When I have shaken the hands of John Mulciber and Clarence Avery, I take the curse off Joseph. He gets up, and as I begin taking the strips of black t-shirt off the green hems of my robes, he walks back over to me.
I cock one eyebrow at him.
"Uh, sorry about that."
"It don't matter. Just don't do it again," I mumble.
"I'm Joseph Wilkes," he says, holding out his hand.
"Nice to meet you," I smirk, shaking it.
He smiles embarassedly, and walks back to his bed.

While the other boys change into matching pajama shirts and pants, I put on my shorts and the t-shirt and sweater I wore on the train, then quietly get into bed.
"Goodnight, Severus!" Evan says from his bed.
"Goodnight, Evan."
"See you in the morning. Do you want to eat breakfast with Clarence and Joseph and me?"
"Yeah!" I exclaim quickly, without thinking of Lily. I feel guilty, but I remind myself that Lily will have probably made friends with her whole house by now. She'll have no problem finding somebody to eat with in the morning.
"John, do you want to eat with us, too?" Evan asks.
"Yeah! Thanks!" John responds.

After we say goodnight, it takes me a while to fall asleep. I'm excited for the school year, but a little apprehensive. I hadn't thought that the other kids might
make fun of me for being poor. I've never been in a school where the other kids weren't poor like me. I've been made fun of now twice in the same day, and I don't want that to keep happening. I reckon Joseph won't make fun of me anymore, but those boys in Gryffindor probably will. I'll just have to show them they can't mess with me, I guess.

When Evan and I walk into the common room together the next morning, talking animatedly about magic we know and spells we want to learn, the regal, platinum-haired boy who patted me on the back last night motions for Evan and me to go over to him.
Evan waves to him, and as we walk over, he says, "Good morning, Lucius!"
"How did you like your first night at Hogwarts, Evan?"
"It was fun!"
"Who's your little friend?" the boy named Lucius asks, looking down at me and smiling condescendingly.
"This is Severus! He already knows a lot!"
I look down at the floor and shuffle my feet.
"Nice to meet you, Severus. My name is Lucius Malfoy," Lucius says, and holds out his hand.
I shake it weakly, and mumble, "Nice to meet you, too." I remember my mum telling me about the Malfoy family! She said they're a very old pureblood family, just like the Prince's.
"You hexed Joseph Wilkes last night?" It isn't so much of a question as a confirmation.
"How'd you know about that?!" I exclaim.
"I already asked Clarence about his night. He told me," Lucius says in a lazy drawl, "Explain."
"He put his hands on me," I frown.
"It wasn't his fault— Joseph called him a mudblood," Evan says quickly, "but he's not."
I glance up at Lucius quickly to try to see if he is angry. My eye catches his Head Boy badge, and suddenly my heart rate quickens.
"Very impressive, Severus," Lucius smiles, "You did exactly the right thing to make sure your classmates respect you. Joseph has been headstrong since the day he was born. I think it was good of you to teach him a lesson. How have you already learned to do magic?"
"I read all my mum's old school books," I say, slightly more confidently, "and I practiced a lot with sticks in the woods and stuff."
"Who are your parents? I don't think I know them, and I am very well connected."
"My mum is Eileen Prince and my dad is Tobias Snape."
"Eileen Prince? Not the Eileen Prince! I know your grandparents and uncle! Elliot told me they disowned his sister when she got pregnant over summer break and ran off with some muggle before even graduating school! I'll have to let him know you're here! Perhaps he'll want to meet you! Now that I think about it, you do look an awful lot like him, don't you? Well, Severus, after your lessons today, I would very much like you to visit me in my dorm. The seventh-year one. I would like to speak with you more in depth about what you know. And Evan, have a good day! I'm sure I'll see you around. Let me know if you need anything!"
"Have a good day!" Evan smiles. I wave goodbye. As we walk away, I hear Lucius murmur to his friends, "...new project…shouldn't be too hard," and I wonder what he's talking about. Are the professors already giving the seventh-years projects this early in the year? Anyways, I feel a little starstruck. I can't believe Lucius Malfoy wants to talk to me!
"How do you know him?" I ask Evan.
"Oh, you know," Evan runs his hand over his smoothed-down hair, "our families know each other."
"How?"
"We all just kind of keep in touch, I suppose," Evan looks sideways at me, and seeing my confused expression, he says, "You know, we're pureblood and all. We all just kind of know each other. Clarence and I were friends before school, too, but he and Joseph have always been best friends. My family's not super close with the Malfoys, though. We're a little closer with the Lestranges. Rodolphus and Lucius are friends. He was the one with the darker brown hair."
"Oh," I say, reddening, "That's cool."
"You didn't say you were related to the Prince's! They don't have any kids around our age, so I don't know them that well. I never knew about your mum or anything!"
"It's okay. I've never met 'em, anyways," I say, looking at the floor.
Evan glances at me, but doesn't say anything.

When we get down to the Great Hall for breakfast, I do not know where to start. I take a piece of toast, some strawberries, and an egg. I slip an apple into my bag just in case. You never know when you're going to run out of food. I see Lily walking into the Great Hall, and wave to her. She and the blonde girl she is walking with come over to the Slytherin table.
"Hi, Sev! How did you sleep last night? Is your common room cool? I love mine! I have so much to tell you already! Oh, this is Marlene McKinnon! She's in our year! Who's your friend?"
"Hey, Lily! This is Evan Rosier! He's in our year, too!"

After Lily and her friend Marlene have left our table, Evan turns to me and asks with an interested expression, "How do you know that girl already?"
"We live in the same town— we've been friends for a long time."
All through breakfast, I wonder if I would do better to keep my friendship with Lily quiet around my other friends. The way Joseph was calling me mudblood— but no, how would they find out? If I can just keep her parentage quiet, then it'll be fine. If they ask, I'll just change the topic. Someday, they'll see that Lily's different. Her parents are good muggles, not bad ones like my father. I know that we'll always be friends. Always.

When Evan and I receive our schedules, we see that we have History of Magic and Potions with the Gryffindors. Evan looks disappointed, but I feel euphoric! Lily has been making me promise her since she found out that I did potions with my mother that I would help her with potions.
"Hey, Severus?" Evan asks.
"Mmm?"
"Do you have a nickname or anything?"
"My dad calls me Rus, and Lily calls me Sev."
"What do you prefer?"
I don't want to say the wrong thing, so I just say, "It don't matter. I don't mind either way."
"May I call you Sev, then?"
"Mm hmm! Sure!" I smile.
"Sev, do you know any potions, too?" asks Evan. My euphoria crumbles into uncertainty.
"Yeah, a little. My mum and I both get headaches, so she sometimes has me make pain-relieving potions while she's at work. They're real easy, though."
"Wow, that's awesome! I wish I were smart like you," Evan responds with a hint of jealousy.
"I'm not smart," I say quietly, hearing the voice of my father in my head, 'YOU WORTHLESS, STUPID, GODDAMN, MOTHERFUCKIN' KID.'
Evan drops it as we head off for our classes.

Once we get to History of Magic, Lily sits to the right of me, Evan sits to the left, and Marleen sits to the right of Lily. As I take out my parchment, quill, and ink, I notice the boys from the train whispering. The one with the messy black hair and glasses looks at me and then turns back to his friend with the dark, wavy hair. I cock an eyebrow at them, then go back to carefully labeling the first page in my notebook with today's date. I try to listen and take notes, but the lecture is so boring that Lily, Evan, Marleen and I end up playing a large game of Hangman instead. I would rather have just played with Lily, but I couldn't exclude Evan, and she couldn't exclude Marleen. I figure I can just read the textbook later.

Later on in Potions, Lily, Evan, Marleen and I all sit at one table in the same setup as before. Professor Slughorn looks interestedly at our little mixed table, but says nothing. When he starts asking questions, I raise my hand for every one. My mum told me before I left to try to impress my professors. If I impress them, then maybe I'll be able to get somewhere in life. It is important for me to make connections and become more powerful than my mother. I don't want to end up like her. Every question Professor Slughorn asks, I answer correctly. Soon, he begins asking them only to me. As he grows more confident in me, my own self confidence grows. Soon I am speaking louder, sitting up straighter, and I even push my hair behind my ears and out of my face. When Slughorn is done questioning me, he gives me a smile, and turns away to begin the lesson.
Lily smiles at me, "I like your hair back," she whispers. I smile as I write down the notes from the chalkboard.

When we are finished with our classes, Evan and I walk back to the common room together, joined by John, Clarence, and Joseph. As we reach the middle of the common room, I say goodbye, and set off towards the seventh-year dorms. Before I knock on the door, I take a deep breath, comb my fingers nervously through my hair, and straighten my tie. I knock three times, quietly, so as not to be too annoying to the seventh-years who are so cool and powerful.
"Come in," calls a drawling voice.
My hand trembles as I open the door.
"Severus! How prompt! How did you like your classes today?" Lucius asks, beckoning for me to come over to him.
"They were good," I say, walking up, "what about yours?" I add nervously as another one of the seventh-years turns to look at me.
"They were alright," Lucius turns to the other seventh-year in the room, "Rodolphus, I would like a private word with Severus. Would you give us a minute?"
Rodolphus grins at Lucius, grabs his books, and walks out, closing the door quietly.
"Now, little Severus, before we speak, would you like a chocolate? My mother sends them to me, and obviously I can't eat all of them!"
"No, thank you," I mutter.
"I insist. You're emaciated and you ought to put on a bit of weight. It's not a good look, Severus."
I want to tell him it's none of his damn business, but I take the chocolate and thank him.
"Would you like to tell me a little bit about how you came to know so much about potions and magic as a first year?"
I choke a little on the chocolate, "How do you know about potions?"
"Professor Slughorn spoke most highly of you. He told me that I ought to make sure you come to his next dinner party."
"Th-that's nice," I stutter.
"So… mind telling me a little bit about yourself and how you know so much?"
I know I am boring him and he's not going to like me anymore. I'm just a nuisance, and nobody likes me, "My mum used to always make me read her old textbooks while my dad was out 'cause we ain't got no other books, and my dad don't like magic, and me and mum get headaches a lot, well, mainly me, but when my mum has money for ingredients I help her cut stuff up, and stir the potions, and and and and—"
Lucius sits on the side of his bed, hands me another chocolate, and pulls me down next to him, "Why doesn't you father like magic?"
"My mum didn't tell my dad about her magic. He only found out when I started makin' stuff happen as a kid. It was my fault. I was bad," I say sadly. I put the chocolate into my mouth and let it melt. Something about Lucius makes me want to tell him.
"And what did your father do when he found out?"
"He got real mad. A few years ago, the steel mill closed, and now he's always mad, even though he's got a job at the car factory now. Mum taught me how to make some basic potions so I'd be okay when I got to school. She always says I gotta be better than she was and not make the same mistakes. She says I gotta focus on school and not pay attention to muggle girls when I get older."
"That's correct. Muggles don't deserve our attention, do they, Severus?"
I hesitate for a second, remembering Lily's parents and my own father, then, because I don't want to make him mad, I shake my head, and say, "No, sir."
"And what about this bruise?" he asks, stroking my hair out of my face and uncovering the purple bruise on my cheek, "What happened here?"
"I'm real clumsy. And sometimes the other kids in town fight with me," I repeat the lie I've told a million times. Sometimes I even make myself believe that it's all my fault. My eyes start to burn again, and I look down at my knees, letting my hair fall back into my face.
Lucius puts his long fingers underneath my chin and tilts my head back up, "That's no matter, so long as you behave yourself at school. I'm sure it's a bit rough-and-tumble out where you live. You know, I think you're very smart, Severus. Not many first years come to school already making potions and doing magic. That's very special."
I look back down, letting my hair cover my small smile. Nobody's ever told me I'm smart or special before.
"You know, you look better without your hair in your face, Severus. Let me give you one of the bands I use to keep my hair back," he says, giving me a new hair tie from his bedside table.

By the end of our talk, I have received a hair tie and eaten three chocolates. As Lucius walks me out of his dorm room, I thank him, and he says it's his pleasure, and that he'll see me around. I walk slowly back out to the common room, uncomfortably aware of Lucius' friends watching me. When I get close to him, the seventh-year named Rodolphus ruffles my hair and smiles at me, then he and another seventh-year head back to their dorm. I take my homework out, and tie my hair back in the new hair tie Lucius gave me. It feels odd, and I don't like uncovering my bruised cheek, but I want to make Lucius happy. Even though I am preoccupied with the thought of Lucius' generosity, I still try to do my best on the little bit of homework I have been given on this first day of classes. It takes me a long time because I'm not used to writing with a quill, and it's hard for me to understand some of the things in my charms textbook. When I finish my homework, I look through my potions textbook, and stop when I come to the page I was looking for. I mark the page and walk over to the potions lab. Potions are easy. No difficult reading passages or complicated spells and movements to remember. It's just you, the recipe, and your ingredients. Potions are challenging, but in their own, fun way, because in the end, you're rewarded with something cool! Plus, recipes are just suggestions— I know you can improve on cooking and baking recipes, so why wouldn't you be able to improve on potions recipes? Charms and transfiguration are cool, I guess, but you don't get anything for your hard work. One spell is just one spell, but one potion can be put into lots of vials to be used now and later. I know some people even sell their potions! I hope I'm good enough to do that someday.

The next day I skip lunch, choosing instead to go to the dungeons to finish the potion I had prepared the night before. My stomach growls as I stir the potion, gently tossing in the last two mistletoe berries. As I stir, I sing quietly to myself,
"Will ye go, lassie, go?
And we'll all go together
To pluck wild mountain thyme
All around the bloomin' heather
Will ye go, lassie go?"

All through the rest of my classes I check the clocks anxiously, my friends already know that I can't hang out right after class today. I only need to wait till Charms is over, then I will be able to run straight to the common room and give Lucius what I have prepared. When the bell rings, I grab my bag, wave a hasty goodbye to Evan and the rest of my friends, and dash off to the Slytherin common room.
"Where are you off to so quickly, Snivelly?" asks a sneering voice. I skid to a halt, whirl around, and take out my wand. It's that boy with the messy black hair and his friend again!
"My name is Severus, and you'd better mind your own fuckin' business," I snarl.
"No thanks," says the wavy haired boy, "you have somewhere important to be? James, I bet he's going to the library to read more about Potions so that old Slughorn still likes him tomorrow."
"No, that ain't where I'm goin', but if I had your brains, it sure would be. You need all the help you can get!" I turn on my heel and dash away, trusting the large number of people in the corridor to stop the boys from hexing me while my back is turned.

When I get to the common room, I see Lucius and his friends sitting by the fire, and I walk straight over.
"Hi!" I smile, sitting down on the floor in front of Lucius' armchair.
"Hello, there!" Lucius chuckles, then, noticing my hair, he exclaims, "Severus, your hair is a mess! Did you even try to do it nicely?" Lucius' disappointed tone makes me feel guilty and stupid.
"I did try! I combed it back with my fingers this mornin' and everything!" I mumble, smile slipping off my face.
"Merlin, that accent's terrible," Lucius' friend with the dirty-blond hair whispers. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rodolphus nod.
Lucius sighs, and stands up, "Stay," he orders, and walks back to his dorm.
Confused, I cock my head, but don't move. Am I in trouble? Has he gone to get something to hit me with? I nervously look around at his friends while I wait. None of them seem perturbed.

Lucius returns quickly, and sits back down in his armchair. He tells me to turn around, then brushes my hair back. He pulls a couple of the shorter pieces out to frame my face, and puts the hair tie back on. I hate it, but I don't want Lucius to get mean and not like me anymore like my father. As soon as he's done, I turn back around. Without waiting for him to speak, I shove the vials of potion I made into his hands, "These are for you. Cure for Nausea. I thought you might like them."
"These look beautiful! They certainly might come in useful at some point. You did very well! You're so smart," he purrs, and runs his hand over my smoothed-down hair. I glow with pride, and flash him a small smile.
He returns it, and says, "Would you like to sit here with me for a bit while you work on your homework?"
"Uh huh!" I nod emphatically, leaning against his chair next to his legs and taking out my homework.
"It seems like your little project is going well, Lucius," Rodolphus says.
"Yes, very well," Lucius drawls, leaning down to stroke my hair as if I am a prized show-dog, "Jealous, Rodolphus?"
"No, just entertained and impressed. I thought it would take longer for you to get so far!"
"Me too. I'm pleasantly surprised."
I tap Lucius' leg and he looks down, smiling at me, "What's your project?" I ask.
Lucius' friends snicker, and, pulling a lollipop out of his pocket, he says, "Just a little thing, really. You don't need to worry about it. Would you like a lollipop?"
"Uh huh! Yes, please!"
He unwraps the lollipop and I hold out my hand. Smiling, he says, "Open up!"
A bit uncomfortable, but not wanting to make Lucius mad, I open my mouth and he places the lollipop inside. It's cherry! I smile, and through the lollipop I say, "Thanks!"
"Do you like that flavor?"
"Mm hmm!"
"If you're good tomorrow, I'll give you another! I have a few different flavors!"
"Mm kay!" I chirp, looking back at my Charms homework. Confused, I tap Lucius' leg again, take my lollipop out of my mouth, and say, "Lucius?"
"Yes, Severus?"
"Can you help me with this question? I don't get it." Now that Lucius' friend pointed it out, I guess my accent does sound bad compared to everybody else. I never noticed it before, living in Cokeworth. That's how everybody speaks out there, except my mum, and Lily and her family, but they aren't from Cokeworth originally.
Lucius motions for me to hand him my homework, and I do so, "Is this for Charms class?"
I put the lollipop back in my mouth, saying, "Mm hmm!"
Rodolphus asks, "Aren't you going for your charms mastery at the end of this year, mate?"
"I may," Lucius muses, still looking over my homework, "It would certainly be beneficial. This answer should be different, Severus," he says, pointing to the page. For the next few minutes, he helps me finish my charms homework.

When Evan comes up, he sits down next to me and pulls out his own homework.
"Sev?" he says.
"Mmm?"
"Can we move to a table?"
I glance up at Lucius, and laughing, he pats my head, saying, "Go ahead!"
I smile at him, pick up my stuff, and Evan and I go sit down at a table to finish our homework.

A few weeks later, as I wake up, the memories of the nightmare I was having fade away and I remember with anticipation that today is Slughorn's first dinner party of the year! What am I going to wear? My school clothes are dirty, and they're beginning to smell, so I'm going to have to finally wash them today. I can't go to a dinner party in dirty clothes! I know Lucius said I could walk with him and his friend, but I'm still nervous. Nobody's going to like me, and nobody wants me there. I don't know why Slughorn invited me, anyways. I wrap my blankets around my shivering body and ball up my body to stay warm. No matter how many blankets I have on, I always seem to be cold. While I have gained a little bit of weight from eating at Hogwarts, it has not been enough to satisfy Lucius, who is forever expressing his worry that he will one day pat my back too hard and I will break in half. I am now 4 foot 3.5 inches tall and 46 pounds. We all measured ourselves in the bathroom yesterday. I told Lucius, his girlfriend Narcissa, and Lily how much I grew. Lily said she was really proud of me, and gave me a big hug. Lucius told me that it's good I've gained some weight, and that I should keep eating so he doesn't have to worry about me anymore, but Narcissa says she thinks it's cute that I'm little, and that I shouldn't push myself to gain too much weight because, as she puts it, "Being fat isn't cute!" I think I like the attention I get from being skinny.

After a long day of classes in which I was much too excited to concentrate, I get back to the common room with my friends. My friends are jealous that I get to go to Slughorn's very first party and they don't. I tell them not to worry, and that I'm sure they'll be invited to the next party. At least Evan and Clarence will for sure— Lucius told me that the Rosiers and Averys are two of the super old pureblood families like the Malfoys. I like to do all of my weekend homework on Friday night so that I have all weekend to study and relax, therefore, I do all of my homework tonight. When I am done with my homework, it is time to get ready for Slughorn's dinner party. I go into the bathroom to comb through my hair with my fingers. It is halfway down my shoulder blades by now. My dad always says I look like a weak little girl with long hair, and I don't want to look like that. Sighing, I go grab my scissors from my backpack, then go back to the bathroom. I part my hair down the middle, and being careful not to overdirect it too much to the front, I cut off about two inches on each side. I know it looks terrible, but at least it's not as long now. I try to comb it back with my fingers to put it in the hair tie, but I can't get it to lie down flat, so I decide to leave it down. I put the hair tie around my wrist just in case. Looking in the mirror, I see an eyesore. The tan I had from the summer is starting to fade, and my cheeks are too hollow. As I step back, I take in the rest of my body. At least nobody can tell how ugly and skinny my body is when I'm wearing my big sweaters and cloak for school. I have no other nice pants or shirts than what I wear with my school uniform, and they're being washed now, so I'm wearing my blue jeans that have the least holes, a plain black tee-shirt, and Lucius' old wooly sweater that he shrunk down to fit me a couple of weeks ago. My jeans are smaller and a little shorter on me than they were when I left for Hogwarts, but at least my sweater is big enough to cover up how bony I am.

I walk out into the common room at exactly 5:30 to see Lucius waiting by the fire for me. My heart sinks all the way to my feet when he stands up. Clad in black and dark green, Lucius looks very intimidating. I feel myself shrink as he disdainfully eyes my outfit.
"Is that really what you're wearing to a dinner party? I thought you would at least know how to dress for a formal occasion. Do I have to teach you everything?" he sneers.
"These are the best clothes I have," I say meekly.
Lucius looks taken aback, "What about wearing a pair of your school pants and one of your school shirts? And don't you have a nicer pair of shoes?"
"I've only got one pair of school pants and one shirt. And these are the only shoes I have. My mum and dad get me a pair every Christmas from the donation center."
Lucius sighs exasperatedly, and says, "Why didn't your parents get you more than one pair of pants and one shirt? That's absurd!"
"Clothes are expensive," I shrug, looking at the floor, "That's all we could afford this year."
Lucius' friends turn around to look at me interestedly, and I feel my cheeks turn red.
"Oh! Well then… I guess I might have an old pair of pants and a shirt somewhere you could keep. Why don't you come with me?" Lucius says awkwardly.
I follow him into his dorm, and sit on his bed while he looks through his chest of drawers.
When he finds the old pair of pants and shirt he's looking for, he says, "Here. Put these on. I'll shrink them while they're on you so we don't have to waste time."
Uncomfortable, I take the baggy sweater off.
"Merlin, you're skinny! Have you ever eaten a meal in your life?!" Lucius exclaims, handing me his shirt.
I hurriedly put the shirt on over my t-shirt, and say, "Food's expensive, innit?"
"I suppose so. What did you say your father does again?"
"He used to work in the steel mill before it closed. Now he works in the car factory."
"And Eileen? What's she doing with her life now?"
"She's a waitress."
Lucius snorts, and asks, "Where at? I certainly hope it's not some sleazy tavern like Madame Circe's!"
I don't respond.
"Well? I asked you a question, Severus. Where does she work?"
"Madame Circe's," I say, plucking at a stray thread on the shirt.
"Well, it's certainly not the classiest of places, at least she's found something she's good at," Lucius sneers, shrinking down the shirt. I'm uncomfortable with how well it fits me now. I like my clothes to be baggy. The less people can see of me, the better. Lucius looks at the book on his bedside table while I change into his old pants. When I'm done, he wordlessly shrinks the pants to fit me.

As we walk back into the common room, I run my fingers nervously through my hair again, and, noticing how ragged it looks, Lucius exclaims, "What in Merlin's name did you do to your hair?!"
"I cut it! It was getting too long! My dad says I look like a girl with long hair!" I squeak.
"It looks terrible! Well, we don't have time to fix it now. I suppose we'll put it back and I'll see if Narcissa can't fix it after the party," he sighs, and says, "Stay," then goes back to get his hairbrush.
When he gets back and starts brushing my hair, I ask, "Is Narcissa coming?"
"She'll be meeting us there. She and Bellatrix are going together. I think they're doing their hair and makeup now, but we should go. I prefer to be punctual."
"What's punk-choo-uhl?"
Lucius and Rodolphus chuckle, and I look at the floor.
"If you're punctual that means you're on time to things. You don't arrive fashionably late like some ladies we know," Rodolphus says.
Lucius snickers, and says, "I don't know what you're washing your hair with, Severus, but it looks awful. I've never seen such a dull, knotted mess in my life!"
What little confidence I had left leaves my body, and I mumble, "I only have soap."
Lucius sighs exasperatedly, "Well, no wonder your hair always looks like a rat's nest! Why are you washing it with soap?!"
"Shampoo's expensive, and we still gotta buy food."
"Oh!" Lucius exclaims, sounding surprised, "Is it really? I suppose you are rather small and skinny, and if your family has to choose between food and hygiene… Well, I suppose if you're good tonight, I'll give you some of my shampoo and conditioner when we get back, and before you go to bed tonight, you can wash your hair so it looks decent tomorrow."
"Thank you! I promise I'll be good," I respond meekly.
"Come along then, we don't want to be late!" Lucius pats my back, and pushes me gently towards the door to the common room.

As we walk to Slughorn's office, I have to jog slightly to keep up with Lucius and Rodolphus.
"Lucius?" I pant.
"Yes?"
"Can you walk a little slower please?"
He looks back, and upon seeing me several doors behind him, he slows down a little, "We need to hurry, Severus, but I suppose we can afford to walk a little slower. Sometimes I forget you're so little!" He gives me a smile, and he and Rodolphus wait for me to catch up to him before setting off again.
"Lucius?"
"Yes?"
"What if I don't do good at the dinner party? What if Slughorn decides that he don't like me?"
"You mean what if I don't do well, and what if he doesn't like me, Severus."
"What if I don't do well?"
"And?"
"And what if he doesn't like me?"
"You will do well, and he already likes you. When he speaks to you, make sure not to mumble. Try to look him in the eyes and speak with conviction."
"Is that like a conniption?"
"What? Actually, I don't even want to know. Conviction means, well, it means to speak as if you know what you are saying and you are confident in yourself to speak well. Oh, remind me after the party— we need to work on your accent. You don't want to go around sounding like a mudblood for the rest of your life, do you?"
Looking at the floor, I shake my head.
"Great! I'm glad you agree! We'll start working on it tonight after you take a shower," Lucius smiles at me, and pats my back, "We'll fix you right up. We'll have you sounding like a pureblood in no time."

When we get to Slughorn's office, I can hear the music emanating from inside the closed door. My heart begins to beat faster.
"Deep breath, Severus. I'll be right there the whole time," and he pats me on the back. Then, we are walking through the door and Slughorn is greeting us. I'm anxious, but I try to copy Lucius as best I can. I can't help mumbling a little, and I try to make eye contact, but I can't do it with adults. If I looked my father straight in the eyes, he would tell me I was disrespectful and would beat me, and I just can't.

Soon, we sit down at the big round table for dinner. Slughorn begins to ask us each questions about ourselves, going around the table. When it's my turn, I try my hardest not to mumble or stutter.
"Now, tell me, Severus, where are you from and what do your parents do for a living?" asks Slughorn genially.
"I'm from Cokeworth. My mum's a waitress and my dad works in the car factory there." I can feel my cheeks starting to turn red, and I look at my plate.
"Muggleborn, eh?"
"No, sir!" I say quickly, "my mum's a witch. She went here, too. She used to be Eileen Prince before she married my dad."
"Oh yes! I remember Eileen! Did she teach you how to brew such incredible potions?"
"Yes, sir. When my dad's at work and my mum's off, she lets me help her!" I look back up and chance a smile.
"Wonderful! I don't know why I didn't realize you were related to the Prince's before— you look so much like your mother! You know, I had asked your grandparents if I would be getting another Prince soon, but they said no! So cheeky! You must get to spend a lot of time with them and your Uncle Elliot!" and he smiles back at me.
I can feel my smile slide off my face, "No, sir," I mumble, looking down at my plate, "I've never met 'em before."
There is a short, awkward silence, then Slughorn clears his throat and says, "Well, I'm sure you'll meet them at some point. Anyways, Lucius, how is Abraxas doing? I haven't spoken with your father in a while!"
I glance quickly at Lucius for recognition, and he gives me a small pat on the back before responding to Slughorn.
Narcissa whispers in my ear, "It's okay. It's not your fault. The Princes don't know what they're missing out on!"

After the party, as we walk back to the common room, Lucius pats me on the back and tells me that I did alright, and that it's not my fault the Prince's don't want anything to do with me or my mum. When we get back to the common room, I quickly shower and wash my hair with a little bit of Lucius' shampoo and conditioner, and after I'm done, I go back to the common room to sit by the fire with Lucius and let my hair dry. When Narcissa sees me come in, she motions to her older sister, Bellatrix, to scoot over, and has me sit next to her. She sprays something nice in my hair, then combs through it. She has me hold a towel over my shoulders, then tries to fix my haircut. She says she likes doing hair, and that she would have trimmed it for me if I had asked. When she's done, my hair reaches just to my shoulders and has some shorter pieces around the front. She gives me a hug and uses a spell to vanish the cut hair from the floor. Lucius tells me to sit by the fire and throws me a blanket. Rodolphus, Bellatrix, and Narcissa head off to bed, and Lucius tells me I need to gain some weight so he and Narcissa won't have to worry about me.
"I'm trying! I ate seconds at supper last night!" I exclaim, annoyed.
"Don't whine, Severus. It's unbecoming. Anyways, now that that's out of the way, let's work on your accent and your grammar. Why don't you try repeating after me?" he says.
"Okay," I retort.
"You mean, 'Okay!', like that, right? With a smile this time."
"Okay!" I repeat, pushing my frustration down inside me and smiling.