A couple of weeks after being discharged from St. Mungo's, Lucius tells me to finish what I am doing in the lab and fix myself up for a meeting. I don't ask— I'm sure it's his parents come to visit from their new home in France, or Narcissa over for lunch. I give my potion one last stir, then, content, I traipse up the stairs and change into my school pants, and the blue gingham button-down shirt and silver tie Lucius got me for my birthday last year.
"Listen, Severus. I have invited some of my friends and colleagues here for a little get-together. They should start arriving soon enough, but I want you to be sociable. Get to know some of them!" he says, "I also want you to make sure they are comfortable. For instance, if they say they are thirsty, get them some tea. If they ask you to do something— anything— make sure you obey them. Be good."
"What if I get nervous and say something stupid, and they don't like me?" I ask.
"Think about your words before you say them, and if you feel nervous, take a sip of your tea and take a few deep breaths. In fact, just speak when you are spoken to, alright? We'll work on your accent a bit before they arrive, too. You're sounding way too much like you used to. I worked too hard on fixing that accent for you to start talking like that again."
I follow him down the stairs and into the sitting room to work on getting rid of my accent.
When he goes to let in his guests, I mess around with the piano, softly tapping the different keys and experimenting with the different noises. Someday, I want Lucius to teach me how to play the piano, even though I know I'll never be as good as he is. He has long aristocratic fingers that can play big notes, but my small, weak fingers will only ever be good for potions. When I hear footsteps, I step quickly away from the piano and move so that I'm partially hidden behind the bookshelf. Thankfully, they all file in without noticing me. Lucius gives me a discreet look, urging me to start mingling. Sighing, I put back the book I had picked up, and walk slowly to the group that has Rodolphus Lestrange in it. When I get a few paces away, Rodolphus notices me, and puts his hand on my back, drawing me in closer to the rest of the group, "How are you, Severus? Lucius told me you would be here!" he says too loudly, grabbing the attention of the other men.
"Hi, Rodolphus. I haven't seen you since you graduated!" I try my hardest not to mutter.
"Yes, you were so tiny then! Still a first year, weren't you?"
"Severus! How've you been, buddy?" exclaims Oliver Jugson, and he ruffles my hair, "I haven't seen you in a while!"
"Hi, Oliver! I've been okay. What about you?" I say with a small smile. A tall man in the group with dark hair chuckles, and I'm suddenly very aware of how high my voice still is compared to all these men.
"I've been dandy," Oliver grins at me as if I'm a chihuahua who's just learned a new trick, "Antonin, this is Severus Snape— he's Lucius' little project!"
"I've heard so much about you! You're very talented in potions. Is that true?" the man called Antonin sneers.
"I guess I'm okay," I murmur, looking at the floor, shuffling my feet and clearing my head from the anger I feel at Oliver for calling me "Lucius' little project."
"Don't be silly, Severus!" commands Lucius, swooping down on me from nowhere. He stands behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders, saying, "Severus is only 15 years old, and already the Vice-President of Potions Club!"
"Impressive, Lucius. You've done a good job on him," says a blond wizard in front of me, regarding me with interest. Something about the look in his eyes is unsettling, and I drop my gaze again.
"Severus, this is Corbin Yaxley. He works in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement," prompts Lucius. Yaxley extends his hand, and I shake it lightly, "and this is Antonin Dolohov! He works in the Department of International Magical Cooperation!" Lucius says, motioning towards Dolohov. Dolohov extends his hand, and I shake it very quickly. Just as suddenly as he came, Lucius leaves me to meet the rest of the little group. Once I have met everybody with Rodolphus, he takes me around the room to introduce me to others. Lucius drops in at random times. I have a feeling he is keeping a close eye on me, making sure things are going as planned. Sometimes it's hard to hear everybody, but I try my best to turn towards whoever is speaking.
After a while, most of the guests leave, and Lucius, Rodolphus, Yaxley, Oliver, and Dolohov settle down with some tea and begin talking about their business.
Lucius beckons me to his side, hands me a lollipop, and whispers in my right ear, "You did a wonderful job. Why don't you go work on your potion for a little while? I'll come get you when I want you again, alright?"
"Okay! Thank you!" I smile and traipse off to finish my potion.
As I work, I think about each of Lucius' friends. It was nice to see Rodolphus and Oliver again, I think. I didn't like the way Yaxley looked at me and always seemed to have his hand on my shoulder until Lucius showed up, and I didn't like the way Dolohov always seemed to be standing too close behind me. The other new guys seemed alright, I guess, but they all kind of scared me a bit— I mean, they're just older guys, so it's natural I'd be a little awestruck. While I stir my potion, I start to quietly sing, "Will ye go, lassie go," but stop abruptly. I don't want to remember any of the good times I had with my dad. If I remember any of the good times, then it might make me start to believe they'll come back, and I know that won't happen. And besides, I'm not the same as I was before, anyways.
I finish my potion off, clean up my workspace, and put my potion in little labeled vials. It is completely transparent, colorless, and textureless. All in all, it looks exactly like water, just as it should, and when I put a drop into a shot glass of vodka I found from the kitchen, it still sets the little testing feather I place in the glass on fire. Feeling pleased with myself, I begin to quietly walk back upstairs. I know Lucius said he would come for me when he wanted me again, but I figure that I have enough time to sneak back upstairs to my room, grab my homework, and make it back down to the basement before I'm missed. As I pass the living room, I hear Lucius speaking softly. I know I shouldn't, but curiosity gets the better of me, and I stop to listen.
"He's mine to do with as I please, Corbin. I'm just not sure…" Lucius says softly.
"He's so timid and eager to please. And you can really tell he respects you. I'm sure he'd do anything you told him to do!" I hear Yaxley's voice from somewhere near Lucius.
"Exactly! And like you said, Lucius, he's very submissive. He probably wouldn't even struggle! At least not if you told him not to. You could be as rough as you wanted, and he'd just take it! You don't know how good you have it!" Dolohov's voice is clear from the other side of the wall.
"Perhaps, but even so, he trusts me to keep him safe, and he doesn't trust easily," says Lucius. I wonder who they're talking about. Maybe Dobby? And what does Dolohov mean by, 'you could be as rough as you wanted?'
"Well if you're not going to do it, why don't you share? Then you wouldn't have to teach him everything!" exclaims Dolohov.
"I'm not interested in sharing, but thank you. If I feel like it, I'll do it in my own time. I'd be alright with letting you and Corbin borrow him for a bit, but it would have to be right here with the rest of us, and I don't want either of you going too far. He belongs to me."
"Just remember, he won't be young and naïve forever. You need to lay down the law now so that when he gets older he understands what's expected of him and doesn't act out," Yaxley says. Somebody shifts in their chair, and I take a few quiet steps backwards. I'm beginning to feel nauseous. I don't think I should be hearing this conversation.
"See, what you don't understand is that Lucius cares about his little pet. He's spent a long time and good money grooming him, so he doesn't want him hurt or mistreated," says Rodolphus lazily, "Do you remember when he was a first-year, Oliver?"
Oliver snorts, "Merlin, that accent!"
Lucius chuckles, and says, "You can't imagine how many hours I've worked on that. It's so tedious, too, but I think it's paying off. You can really only hear it when he's scared or angry now."
"You think he'd do it for me?" Dolohov asks.
"Oh, you're terrifying enough. I'm sure you'll get to hear it, but you won't like it," Oliver laughs, then, doing a very bad imitation of me he says, "Thank you for lettin' me polish your broom, Lucius! Thank you for lettin' me sit on the floor near your shoes, Lucius! You kin use me as a doormat if you want, Lucius! It don't matter! I-I-I-I'll do anythin' for you!"
Everybody laughs, even Lucius, and I blink back angry, embarrassed tears.
"Speaking of that accent, he comes from a bad background. He trusts Lucius to treat him better than his parents. Why do you think he's here instead of at home?" says Rodolphus.
"Right, and if he stops trusting Lucius, then all that time and money will have gone to waste, and there's no place in Lucius' life for a mistrusting, disobedient pet," Rodolphus responds.
"Exactly. And besides, I don't need anything getting out that could potentially taint my reputation. We all need to be careful with how we present ourselves, and what we do in our private lives," Lucius drawls, "Even if I was to do it, I certainly wouldn't tell anybody directly. That could be social suicide, and I don't need that."
I take a few more quiet steps backwards.
"You're probably right. Anyways, where is little Severus?" Yaxley's voice is still just audible.
"Oh, I sent him downstairs to work on his potion. He's such a little perfectionist! He's even improved some of the potions from his textbooks!"
"How's his spellwork getting on?" Oliver asks, "I remember he was always pretty good with his hexes and jinxes."
"He's always gotten good grades in Defense, but I don't know, he doesn't seem very combative to me. I don't think he really focuses too much on his spellwork, which doesn't bother me. He's so little and fragile, it's probably best for him to stay out of it anyways. He'll be much more useful with a Potion's Mastery than on the battlefield," Lucius' voice is muffled, and I have to turn my head and really focus to be able to hear him, "But anyways, I'll go get him if you want him."
As Yaxley begins to speak, I turn and dash back downstairs as quietly as possible.
Just as I reach the lab, I hear Lucius call for me, and I take a deep breath. On one hand, I could try to hide down here, but then Lucius would find me and be angry with me. On the other hand, I could go to him and just get whatever is going to happen over with. Even though every fiber in my body is telling me to go hide, I reluctantly trudge back up the stairs, trying to slow my breathing. It wouldn't do to disobey him in front of all of his friends, and besides, if he got mad at me, where would I go? Back to Cokeworth? Like Rodolphus said, there's no place in Lucius' life for disobedience. No, it's better to forget what I heard. I didn't hear any conversation at all, in fact, I didn't even go upstairs. I was just daydreaming and got confused. I've been down here the whole time working on my potion.
"Severus! How is your potion going?"
"It's done," I mutter, looking at my feet.
"Lovely!" he says, tipping my chin up with his long, cold fingers, "Why don't you join us upstairs then? Corbin has some questions for you! And if you're good, I might have something special for you later tonight!"
My stomach churns, but I remind myself that I didn't hear anything. I take a deep breath and smile, "Okay!" I chirp.
He puts his hand on my back to guide me up the stairs.
When we get back upstairs, Lucius sits me down on the couch next to Yaxley. I shoot a pleading look at Lucius, but he just smiles at me, walking away across the room.
"So, little Severus," Yaxley says, putting his hand around my shoulders. I try to lightly scoot away, but he holds me there, "what have you been up to?"
"Just working on a potion!" I say, looking at my knees. My voice comes out slightly higher than I want it to.
"Oh? What kind of potion? Come now, you can tell me," he croons, rubbing my shoulder with his big hand.
All of the muscles in my body are tense, "A poison," I mutter, squirming.
Yaxley laughs, "That's fun! What kind of poison is it? One to cause stomach aches, or something?"
I shrug my shoulders, glance at Lucius, and say, "Something like that," then, uncomfortable, I try to steer the conversation back to safe territory, "I've been studying, too."
"Oh? What have you been studying?" Yaxley begins stroking up and down my arm as Lucius stands up and starts walking to the back of the room where wine bottles and glasses are set up.
"Potions, defense, Lucius helps me with charms, too. I don't do that good in charms, but I really like potions."
"You mean you don't do that well in charms, Severus," says Lucius from the other side of the room. His back is turned, and he is pouring more wine for his friends.
"I don't do that well in charms," I mutter.
"Pardon?" calls Lucius.
"I don't do that well in charms," I say louder. I can feel my face reddening. Rodolphus and Oliver chuckle quietly, and Oliver whispers something to Dolohov from behind his hand. Lucius walks into the other room, and Yaxley moves his hand to my knee. I try to keep my breathing even as I pray for Lucius to come back.
"What do you like to do in your free time?" he says.
"Um, I like to hang out with my friends," I murmur, looking down and trying my hardest to fill my head with memories of my friends to distract me from what's going on.
"And? What do you like to do with your friends? Anything fun?" Yaxley asks as Dolohov stands up and walks over to us to sit down on the couch next to me.
"Sometimes we play chess, and we like to hang out by the… the water? The big thing of water on the grounds… the—"
"The lake?" Yaxley purrs, and slowly moves his hand up my leg. It jerks inward automatically, but he digs his fingers into my thigh and pulls my leg back to where it was.
"Mm hmm," I mumble.
"What else do you like to do with your friends?" Dolohov grins, throwing his arm around my shoulders.
"Um, we— we like to practice our spells and stuff, too. And study in the library," my heart is beating at a ridiculous pace, and I can hear my voice tremble slightly.
"How old are you again?" Dolohov asks.
"15," I mumble.
"You look a lot younger," he sneers.
Unsure of how to answer, I just shrug, and begin to pull my knees up, but Yaxley chuckles, and pulls me by my collar back into the couch while Dolohov pushes my knees back down. With Lucius gone, I look to Rodolphus and Oliver for help. Rodolphus just smiles at me, and Oliver looks away. I swallow a lump in my throat and look down at my knees as Yaxley pulls out the ponytail holder I had put in while working on my potion and ruffles my hair. I genuinely think I'm going to be sick. I try to force the images of my potions textbook into my brain to distract me from what is going on.
Dolohov puts his hand on my upper thigh as Lucius walks in and begins handing his friends glasses of wine. He holds out a glass to me as well.
"Oh, I-I-I-I don't—" I stammer.
"Yes you do," says Lucius, ignoring Dolohov's hand on my leg and putting the glass into my pliant hands, "I only gave you a little bit so it won't interfere too much with the potion you've been taking," and he taps the left side of my head lightly before turning away. I wish Lucius would tell Yaxley and Dolohov to get their hands off me, but he doesn't. He just smiles at me and sits back down, "You're doing so well, Severus. I'm very pleased with you," he murmurs, leaning back in his chair, crossing his legs, and regarding me with his cold, gray, aristocratic eyes, "You know, I have a gift for you. I was going to wait to give it to you, but since you're being so good, I'll let you have it tonight."
"What did you get him?" asks Rodolphus.
"I bought it the other day when I was buying Narcissa those new emerald earrings," he says, pulling a ring out of his pocket. It's a silver snake with small emerald eyes, "Isn't it nice? I just saw it and thought it would look good on you, don't you think, Severus?"
"Mm hmm! Thank you!" I say, trying to sound happy, and take a sip of wine, ignoring Yaxley's hand stroking down my spine. I feel him untuck the back of my shirt, and I can't control the shiver that runs through my body as he shoves his hand underneath my boxers. I can feel his fingers begin groping at my bare skin, and it takes all my self-control not to shove him away.
Winking at me, Lucius puts the ring back into his pocket.
I take another small sip of wine and try not to make a face while Dolohov runs his fingers all the way up my inner thigh.
"Antonin, I wonder if I might ask you something in the hallway for a second," Lucius drawls.
Dolohov sighs, stands up, and follows Lucius into the hallway to my left. In the few minutes they're gone, Oliver, Rodolphus, and Yaxley talk about their work at the ministry, and I cross my legs tightly. As Dolohov and Lucius walk back into the room, I hear Dolohov saying, "...then I can bring him something nice, too. With your permission, of course."
"That's fine," Lucius sneers, and sits back down in his chair again, "We'll talk about it later tonight after he goes to bed."
Dolohov pats me on the head like a dog and walks back over to the other chair by the fire.
After a little while, Yaxley stretches, and, as Rodolphus starts talking about what he and Bellatrix have been up to, he murmurs, "Go on, finish your drink. You don't want to look ungrateful, do you?"
I shake my head, and finish off the wine. I feel like I shouldn't be having wine while my head is still healing, but I don't want Lucius to be mad or to think I'm ungrateful. I wish I could just fade away.
"Good boy, now hand that back to me, you can lay down on my lap"
I hesitate, glance at Lucius, then obey. Once my head is resting on his legs, I stare at the ceiling, refusing to look at his face. I try my hardest not to flinch as he takes off my tie and undoes the buttons on my shirt. As Yaxley runs his hand up and down my bare stomach, I look imploringly over at Lucius, but he just smiles, and sips his wine. Resigned to my fate, I look back at the ceiling, take a deep breath, and try to forget what's going on.
I snap out of my dissociative state as I hear Lucius say my name. Looking around, I notice that it's dark outside the windows, and that I am very thirsty and tired. I must have been laying here for a while with Yaxley.
Yaxley strokes my hair and says, "You've been a good boy. Go on back to Lucius now!"
Dolohov laughs, and Lucius smiles at Yaxley. He lifts one long, pale hand and motions for me to come to him.
Gratefully, I spring up from the couch. As I stand, my head swims, and I stumble.
Yaxley catches me as my knees give out, and somebody laughs, "Did somebody have a little too much to drink?" he says, smiling nastily and pushing me back up. Head still swimming, I stumble over to Lucius. I am painfully aware of how disheveled I look, but for once, Lucius doesn't seem to mind. I fall down onto the spot next to Lucius' left side. He hands me my water bottle and tells me to drink. I drink about half the water in my bottle, and Lucius pats me on the back. Finally feeling safe again, I breathe a sigh of relief, and cover myself up with the blanket from the top of the couch. I remind myself that it's all worth it. Even though there might be moments where I don't like what's happening, I'm still better off than I would be at home. I feel dirty, but I remember my mum telling me years ago that I need to make sure to give back to Lucius, and I smile as he gently strokes my hair.
After Lucius' friends depart late that night and Dolohov waits in the living room with a glass of wine, Lucius walks me to the stairs then carries me to my room and sits on my bed with me like he used to when I was a first-year. I wrap my arms around his neck, and nuzzle my head into his shoulder. I feel safe, secure, warm, and very tired. After a minute or so, Lucius sets me down on my bed, next to him.
"How did you like the little get together? Did you meet anybody you like? I'm very proud of you. You did so well!" he says, smiling at me and rubbing my back.
"It was cool, I guess. It was nice seeing Rodolphus and Oliver again, but Yaxley and Dolohov really scared me," I glance anxiously up at Lucius, trying to see his reaction.
"Yes, but even so, I'm glad you did as you were told and obeyed them. They are very powerful. They both work at the Ministry, remember? And both of them are rising quickly through the ranks. Also, remember the Yaxley family is one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight pureblood families, like my family, and Narcissa's family, and the Rosiers. It's beneficial for both of us to make them both happy, but especially Corbin."
"Oh! Now I understand why you let them, well…" I can feel my face redden, "why you had me sit with them."
"See? I told you I'm looking out for you!" he laughs, tapping the tip of my nose, "They are very important contacts to have, and can provide a lot of help, should you ever need it. What about Rookwood and Watson? They're crude, but not bad with their wands when it comes down to it."
Thinking hard and trying to remember everything, I say, "They were okay, but I felt like Rookwood treated me like a baby! I know I'm only 15, but I just finished making a poison in the lab that could kill them all with one vial!"
He cocks an eyebrow at me.
"I mean— I mean, um…" I stammer, then, realizing I can't cover up what I said, I look down, resigned to my fate, and mutter, "I promise I didn't tell anybody."
"It's alright! You're not in trouble! What is this poison? And don't lie to me, Severus. I want to know! I happen to be very interested in your potions," he smiles.
"Um, well, it's called Moonseed Poison. I read about it in the restricted section..." I trail off, pulling at a strand of my hair.
Lucius tugs my hand away from my hair, and says, "Don't pull your hair, Severus, you'll go bald. How did you get into the restricted section?"
"I told Slughorn I wanted to know more about Polyjuice Potion, since we were gonna be practicing it in Potions Club, and he wrote me a note."
"Very nice, Severus! You're becoming quite the little manipulator!" he laughs. I chance a quick smile at him, and he smiles back, "So what does this Moonseed Poison do?"
"Well, it's colorless and odorless, and a couple drops should be enough to completely destroy the drinker's liver. Kind of like an alcohol overdose," I say carefully.
"Hmm, I see. And how much of this have you made?"
"Two cauldrons full. One normal, and one that I improved, but I won't need that much. I mean, I won't need any since it's just for research!"
"I'm sure," he sneers, "well, be careful, Severus. Coincidentally, might I have some of that poison? For, like you said, research? I know somebody who would be very interested in it."
"Yeah, of course! You can sell it, too! I'm sure it would make a lot of money, and you bought the ingredients, so you deserve it! The one I improved can go into other drinks without denaturing. The one I made a couple days ago won't do that. You can sell all of that one. It won't make as much as the improved version though."
"Deal! I'll sell a few vials, and we can split the profit. I suppose it wouldn't hurt you to have a bit of money to spend at The Three Broomsticks once in a while, would it?" Lucius smooths my hair back, "Oh! I almost forgot! Here's your present!" he says, pulling the snake ring out of his pocket. Up close, it looks even nicer than it did before!
"Wow, Lucius! It's so cool! Is this really for me?" I ask in awe.
"Of course!" he laughs, taking my hand and slipping it onto my right thumb, "It's a bit big on you, but no worries," he says, pulling out his wand and shrinking the ring to fit.
"Thank you so much!" I smile, then I mutter, "Are you sure I deserve this?"
"Why would you not deserve this?"
"I don't know."
"Severus, you're so talented and well-behaved, of course you deserve it! You're special and you do as you're told— that's why you get rewarded! I can't wait to show off your work to my friends and colleagues! I know somebody who will think it's just marvelous!"
"Really? It was pretty complicated, I guess, but I got it right in the end!"
"Of course you did! I would expect nothing less from my little Severus!" he laughs, and standing up, he says, "Goodnight, Severus. Tomorrow morning Narcissa is coming over to work on wedding plans. And we'll have lots of time to work on that accent and for you to work on your homework before she arrives. After she leaves, Antonin will be coming over. I expect you to look just as put-together as you did today, yes?" I feel my smile slip.
"Does he want to spend time with me?" I ask, not meeting his eyes.
He takes a second to respond, and then he says, "Yes, he wants to spend time with you. I'll be there the whole time, just like today, so don't be nervous."
"Promise?"
"Yes, and if you're good, after he leaves we can go to the store and get you a few new clothes to replace the ones we got rid of."
"Okay, thank you, Lucius. I promise I'll be good."
"Remember, you should feel honored that my friends like you so much. You get these opportunities because you're special— I wouldn't give you so much if you weren't. Sleep well, and remember to take a shower and comb your hair before you come down for breakfast tomorrow morning! And take your potion before you go to sleep. Goodnight!" And with that, he hands me a vial of my potion, and is halfway through my door when I remember what I wanted to ask.
"Lucius, can you fix the lock on my door to face in instead of out?"
Lucius halts, then without turning around, says, "Of course! One of these days, when I have a moment, I'd be happy to help you with that! Goodnight!"
Knowing he's never going to 'have a moment,' I sigh, and mumble, "Goodnight."
When I'm sure that Lucius has gone downstairs, I get up and shove my trunk up against my door as quietly as possible, just for good measure. It might not do anything, but it makes me feel better knowing that it's there while Dolohov is still in the manor. I sigh, sit back down in bed, and take my potion. At least that will help me sleep.
I wake up at 8 o'clock in the morning and make my bed, take a shower, and comb my hair. I put on my black jeans, my socks from yesterday, a t-shirt, and the turquoise sweater Evan lent me that I never gave back. It's still nice and big on me, and feels cozy. I can always change into something nicer later if Lucius doesn't like what I'm wearing now. I spend a couple of minutes staring out my window at the gardens and watching the peacocks, then, bored, I grab my book and head downstairs. Upon reaching the kitchen, I grab a handful of grapes and slouch into the living room looking for Lucius and Narcissa. I walk in to find them sitting on the couch looking through the binder they've put together of wedding plans. Narcissa is sitting with her legs draped over Lucius' lap. With one hand, she's playing with his hair, and with the other, she's pointing to something in the binder. I wonder if I'll ever get to sit with somebody I love like that. For a second, I contemplate leaving the room. Nobody wants me here anyways.
"Severus! It's good to see you! Come here and give me a hug!" Narcissa exclaims, looking up and seeing me.
I smile tentatively, then walk over and give her a quick hug, "Good morning! It's good to see you again, too! What are you working on?"
"We're reviewing our plans for the church, and making sure we're on the same page with the decorations," Lucius drawls, "What have you got there?"
Instinctively, I put my potions book behind my back.
Lucius smirks at me, and beckons for me to hand it over.
Reluctantly, I do so, "It's just my textbook," I mumble.
"Severus, this is ancient! You should have said something! We'll get you a new textbook when we go to Diagon Alley today," he says, and tosses my textbook on the floor.
"No!" I exclaim, scrambling to pick it back up. Some of the pages have dislodged themselves from the spine and are threatening to fall out, "This one's special! It's got all my notes and everything in it! I can't get a new one!"
"If you insist. Give it here— I'll repair it for you."
I hand my textbook back to Lucius and he repairs it with a flick of his wand. It still looks old, but at least nothing is falling out anymore. I can't wait until I can consistently do wordless magic.
"What are you up to today, Severus?" says Narcissa warmly.
"I think I'm going to feed the peacocks, and I have some things I want to try out in the lab! I want to see if I can make the Draught of Dreamless Sleep even stronger this time! All I think I need to do is add an extra sopophorous bean with the flobberworm mucus, and maybe a couple extra—"
"That's nice, Severus. Why don't you eat your breakfast and head down there? We'll call for you when we're done," says Lucius, cutting me off.
"Yes, Lucius," I mumble disappointedly, turning away.
Before going to the lab, I stop outside to feed my favorite peacocks and throw the rest of the food at the ones who are mean. Lately, my right wrist and hand have been tingling and going numb when I do a lot of chopping and whisking. Madame Pomfrey told me that the carpal tunnel in my wrist is irritated and needs to rest. She did some relaxing and healing spells on it while I was at school and gave me a brace to wear when the pain gets bad, but there's not much I can do about it when I'm not at school. I suppose I could ask Lucius if I could go to St. Mungo's, but I don't want to bother him with my problems. Already irritated from how hard I worked on my Moonseed Poison yesterday, my wrist can't handle a whole lot today, so I just prep my ingredients and work on my reading for transfiguration instead. I was really excited to try a different way of making the Draught of Dreamless Sleep, but it's fine. Feeling chilly, I hug myself, bury my face in Evan's sweater, and let myself imagine for just a second that it's his arms holding me, and not my own. Then I remember that Dolohov is supposed to come over today, and I shiver. I open up my Latin dictionary and begin writing down words I could use to make a new spell. In the end, I settle on the words sectum and semper. I want a spell that will kill somebody painfully, but not too slowly or too quickly, and what better way to do that than to cause them to bleed out. I sit back in my chair and imagine myself standing over Yaxley and Dolohov while blood gushes from huge, deep wounds, and I smile. In my head, Yaxley cries out for help. I squat down and sneer, "I thought you said you wanted to spend time with me! Or is this not what you had in mind?"
I am snapped out of my thoughts when I hear Lucius calling for me. I hurriedly fold up the paper into my potions book.
"Severus? We're done for today. Come on upstairs. Narcissa wants to say goodbye before she leaves. She's going to try on wedding dresses with Bellatrix."
"Okay," I sigh, grabbing my book and climbing back up the stairs. At the door, Narcissa holds out her arms, and I give her a hug.
"Goodbye for now, Severus! I'll see you again soon, alright? Then you can tell me all about your potions!" she says, and ruffles my hair.
"Bye, Cissa!" I smile, and let her go, "Have fun trying on dresses! I hope you find one you like!"
As he walks Narcissa out, Lucius whispers to me to go make myself presentable. I sigh, and walk dejectedly upstairs to my bedroom to get changed. I wish Lucius would at least let me keep Evan's sweater on, but it's fine.
When Dolohov arrives, he smiles coldly, grabs my arm, and pulls me down to sit on the couch with him.
Lucius hesitates for a second, then says quietly, "Be gentle with him, Antonin."
"You know me, Lucius! I wouldn't hurt a fly," Dolohov grins.
"Of course," Lucius smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He turns around, walks over to the piano, and starts playing quietly. It's the first movement of the Moonlight Sonata— the one I always ask him to play.
"Open your mouth," Dolohov purrs. I barely have time to register what he's said before he grabs the back of my head and shoves a cherry lollipop deep into my mouth. I gag, and Dolohov laughs quietly. The cherry taste is slightly off, as if it's something pretending to be cherry. It's strong, but not strong enough to mask the slightly medicinal, bitter taste hiding behind it, "Are you excited to see me?" His hand is still tightly gripping the back of my head.
I nod mechanically, and preemptively draw my knees up to my chest.
"Well?" he growls, tightening his grip on my hair.
I take the lollipop out of my mouth and say, "Yes, sir." All I want is to curl up and hide.
Dolohov's nails dig into my shoulder, and he hisses in my right ear, "Put that back in your mouth."
Terrified, I obey quickly.
He glances over at Lucius, and satisfied that he is not being watched, he shoves my knees open and away from my chest and begins roughly unbuttoning my shirt. When he gets down to my pants, Dolohov quickly glances at Lucius again, then undoes my belt.
Instinctively, I go to grab his wrist as he goes to shove his hand under the front of my pants, but he lazily bats my fingers away. I go to take my lollipop out of my mouth, but then I remember what he said, and leave it alone.
"Good boy. You learn quickly," he grins, and I can't keep from whimpering as he gropes between my legs with one hand and untucks the front of my shirt with the other.
"Antonin?" Lucius drawls, fingers hovering above the piano keys. Dolohov takes his hand out of my pants.
"Yes?" Dolohov sneers as Lucius glances over.
"It's awfully quiet over there. Didn't you say you had some questions for my Severus, or did you just want to give him sweets and play with his clothes?"
"You know what, I got so excited to see little Severus I completely forgot!" Dolohov says sarcastically, "Lucius said you're Vice-President of Potions Club. You must be pretty smart, huh?"
I shake my head no, and pull my knees back up to my chest again, hugging my arms around them to protect myself.
Dolohov snickers, and strokes my hair, "What are your favorite potions to make? Hmm?"
I hug my knees tighter and say,"Poisons."
Satisfied, Lucius begins to play again.
"What do you do with your poisons when you've finished them?" Dolohov says, and throws his arm around my shoulders.
I shrug. My brain is starting to feel a little foggy, as if it's sitting in a thick cloud.
"What kind of poisons do you make? Ones to make people sick? Ones to cause pain? What makes you tick, Severus?"
"I dunno," I murmur, swallowing some of the liquid from the lollipop. The fog around my brain seems to thicken.
"What kind of magic is your favorite? You said you weren't very good at charms yesterday, right? What are you good at besides potions?" Dolohov starts twirling my hair around his fingers.
"I like defense. And other things," my mouth feels thick and dry, and I quickly take the lollipop out and ask, "can I go get some water, please?"
"What do you think?" he says, smiling nastily at me.
I shake my head, no. Then, without thinking, I say, "I thought it was well."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't do well in charms, not I don't do good in charms. That's what Lucius said yesterday."
Dolohov chuckles, and says, "You don't do well in charms, so you're not good at charms."
"I don't get it," I say, and put the lollipop back in my mouth.
"Lucius? Little Severus needs to be taught a lesson in grammar," Dolohov calls to Lucius.
Fingers still moving across the keys of the piano, Lucius says, "The adverb well is describing the verb to do. The adjective good is describing the subject you. You don't do well, you're not good."
His words sting, even though I know he's just giving me an example of the correct grammar, "Oh," I mumble. I still don't really understand, but I don't want to embarrass myself any more. Dolohov asks me a few questions about Potions Club while he runs his fingers down past my bony ribs and over my left hip bone. As Lucius begins a Chopin nocturne, Dolohov grabs me from under my armpits and hoists me up onto his lap. I start to squirm, but stop abruptly as I remind myself that I get treated better when I behave, and, like Lucius said last night, I should feel honored that these powerful people want to spend time with me at all. Plus, he said he would take me to Diagon Alley later today if I was good. My brain feels like sludge, and my muscles are starting to feel tired. Lucius finishes his nocturne and begins Claire de Lune, and Dolohov slowly and painstakingly pulls off my unbuttoned shirt. I focus on keeping my muscles tense as he traces the scars on my back made by my father's belt.
"These are lovely. Who gave them to you?" Dolohov murmurs.
I shake my head, feeling nauseous.
"Well?"
I don't respond.
"That's a touchy subject, Antonin," Lucius says without missing a note, "Why don't you ask Severus about something else?"
Dolohov sighs in frustration and begins to brush his fingers along each of the ribs on my back.
I reposition the lollipop in my mouth and swallow. Suddenly my muscles feel very weak, and I sway.
Dolohov catches me. As I try to get out of his arms, he drags his nails down my spine. I shiver involuntarily, and he grabs my bony hips and drags my pelvis backwards, whispering, "That's right, relax. How are you feeling, little whore?"
Scared and exhausted, I shudder, and murmur, "I ain't no whore."
"There it is," Dolohov laughs quietly, then says in a normal volume, "So it sounds like you're not from around here. Where's home for you?"
"Um, it's pretty far away," my tongue feels heavy, and it's hard to get a full sentence out.
"Yes?"
"It's jus' a town."
"And where's Jusatown located?" he sneers.
I shake my head.
He digs his nails into my hips, and snarls, "I said, where's Jusatown located?"
"It's far away," I answer stubbornly.
Lucius stops playing the piano, and smiles coldly over at us, "Are you struggling without your usual interrogation techniques, Antonin?"
Dolohov laughs, "Just a bit!"
Lucius stands up, stretches, and says, "I may get us some wine. What would you like?"
"Oh, just whatever you've got lying around," Dolohov says.
"Severus, fix your belt. I'll be right back," Lucius says, and walks out of the room. What's he doing?! He promised he wouldn't leave me alone!
As soon as he's out of sight, Dolohov asks, "Are you tired?" and without waiting for a response, he grabs under my legs with one hand and the back of my neck with the other. He pulls my head down and pulls my legs onto the couch so that I am lying with my head resting on his lap. He takes his hand off the back of my neck, pulls my belt off completely and tosses it to the floor.
"Lucius said to fix it," I mumble, cheeks red.
"I did! It's not hanging off anymore, is it? It's fixed!" Dolohov chuckles. He grabs the lollipop stick, and twirls it in my lax mouth, sneering, "You're lucky Lucius treats you so well, little whore."
"Mm not," I mumble through the lollipop. I can feel my heart banging in my chest.
"Not what? Not lucky, or not a whore?" he laughs, lets go of the lollipop stick, unbuttons and unzips my pants, and shoves his hand roughly back underneath my boxers, "You're so skinny and fragile. You would look so delicious all chained up for me," he whispers, "I bet you'd sound lovely screaming for Lucius to save you…" he trails off.
Frightened and not thinking straight, I try to roll off the couch to get away, but he grabs my hair with his free hand, takes his other hand out of my pants, and clasps it around my throat, pressing down lightly. I try to pry his hand off my throat, but my weak, clumsy fingers are not strong enough.
"Now, now, none of that! Be a good boy!" he laughs, letting go of my hair and shoving the lollipop deeper into my mouth. I cough and gag, but he massages my neck, forcing me to swallow the bitter tasting saliva in my mouth. A wave of exhaustion washes over me, and I feel my entire body go limp, "There you go," he whispers, letting go of the lollipop and my neck, "that wasn't so hard, was it?"
"Please," I whisper hoarsely as he begins running his fingertips over the ridge of my right hip bone, then down back underneath my boxers.
"Please? Please what, slut? Please stop?"
"Please…" I want to tell him to stop— to get his hands off me— but my brain is moving too slowly, and my muscles won't respond.
"Don't you know begging is like firewhiskey to me? You really don't have any clue, do you? So naïve— Lucius has really done an amazing job on you; though it's so unfair of him to keep you all to himself. I would share if you were mine," he croons.
I mean to shake my head, but instead, my head just flops over to the right so that my face is centimeters from his belt.
Dolohov smirks, strokes my hair out of my face, "I've already given you something to suck on! I'd love to give you something else to put in your mouth, but Lucius has already said he doesn't want to share, and we don't want to make him angry, do we, little whore? Even so, I'm doing him a favor here, so it would be awfully nice if he'd let me break you in, or at least watch, but I suppose this is good enough," he chuckles, moving my head back and twirling the lollipop in my mouth, "I bet you sound incredible when you moan. You know, I can even make torture feel good, but only if you beg hard enough," he purrs, and digs his nails into the soft skin of my inner thigh.
My eyesight begins to blur as I swallow some more of the liquid from the lollipop. I want to move my legs to try to get his hand out of my pants, but I can't. My muscles won't respond. I hear Lucius opening and closing cupboards in the kitchen and getting out what I assume to be wine glasses.
Dolohov takes his hand out of my pants and begins to stroke up and down the bones of my sternum and past my sunken stomach, he says, "You're a fun little toy, aren't you? So timid and submissive, and with those long legs and big doe eyes? Well, it's not hard to see why Lucius keeps you around."
Feeling nauseous, and terrified, and confused, I stare through blurry eyes at the ceiling, and just as the room begins to go dark, I hear Lucius' footsteps, and force my tired eyes open. Lucius hands Dolohov a blurry glass of wine over my head. I want to move away from Dolohov, but I can't. I swallow some more of the dissolved lollipop. It's almost all gone now. I want to take it out of my mouth, but the muscles in my arms won't respond.
"How's everything going?" Lucius murmurs.
"It's going well. He'll be asleep soon. He was almost there when you walked in, but I think he heard you and started fighting it," Dolohov murmurs.
Lucius bends down and looks into my eyes. I try to look back at him, but my eyes won't focus. He sits me up and pushes me back so I'm leaning against the couch, and the lollipop stick falls out of my mouth as I fall back over onto Dolohov. My stomach churns, and Lucius' long platinum hair tickles my face as he picks me up.
"Please," I mumble thickly. I want to ask him to help me, but my mouth won't form the words.
"Shut your mouth— be a good boy," he says. He lays me down on the floor with my head turned away from him, and sits down on the couch next to Dolohov, "Antonin, he looks terrible. I told you, he's recovering from a brain injury."
"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing! He'll be fine. He won't remember the last few minutes, but there won't be any lasting side-effects. He's just going to sleep early today like you said last night! You'll have lots of time before he wakes up again. I can guarantee you that!" Dolohov laughs, "You sure you want to keep him to yourself tonight? I did do you a favor, after all."
"What ever could you possibly mean?" Lucius answers, and I know by the tone of his voice that he's smirking.
"Have it your way, then," Dolohov chuckles, "Have fun, alright? I can see myself out."
I can't keep my eyes open, and as Lucius stands up, the room goes dark and quiet around me.
