Last night Val found me writing in my journal when he came by my tent to make sure I was ok. I was so surprised by his arrival that I actually jumped when he said, "Hello." After the fighting, we had both been busy with our responsibilities and I assumed the Ruthless Blades would need him for the rest of the night. He confirmed my assumption but told me he had been given leave to come over and check on me.
This felt like a sign that it was time to tell Val the rest of my story. I told him about my Deva, Marat, and the dreams they send to me. I explained how Devas are celestial beings and messengers from the Gods, and that Marat has been my guide since birth. I expressed how I don't follow Marat's dreams blindly, but they have never shown me anything that I wouldn't be willing to do.
He listened intently and asked a few questions like, "How are the dreams Marat sends you different from regular dreams?" and, "What would happen if you didn't follow Marat's dreams?" He took everything in stride so I just kept talking until I told Val about my dreams of him.
Well really of us.
It went pretty much as expected when you tell someone you barely know you're meant to spend your lives together. Val's eyes got huge and I saw panic flash across them! Plus I think I saw his fur stand on end a few times while I was talking. To his credit, he listened to everything I had to say before responding.
"Zira, I knew from the moment I saw you join this caravan that your story is important. That's why I told you I could wait. And from the moment you walked through the door into the building in Water Deep, I felt like I would play some part in it. I was so thankful after you stepped in that you gave us both a moment to collect ourselves. But I never expected this…" he was at a loss for words and gestured helplessly at me.
I blushed when I remembered how I stuttered that day. "You're not bound to my dreams. Neither of us is. The future changes with every decision we make. I think Marat just shows me the path they want me to take. But I also know different paths can still lead to the same outcome."
I watched him take a deep breath, "Zira. It's a lot to take in." He moved closer and put his hand on my shoulder.
"I know."
I had never felt more vulnerable in my life
"Destiny and all that, it's not me. I want to be free to wander the land, find new places, and have new experiences. I didn't leave home so I could follow some path laid out for me. I am truly sorry Zira." His shoulders slumped and his head bowed. After a moment he looked at me with impassioned eyes, "I know we've only known each other a short time, but I already feel a connection and close friendship with you. It's why I sought you out tonight. I needed to know you were alright. I sincerely hope that my rejection doesn't ruin that, but I understand if you don't feel the same way."
I was embarrassed and hurt by his rejection, but I didn't want to walk away from the friendship we'd been creating. Also, I understand not wanting to follow a path laid out for you. I raged for weeks after Marat and Kelemvor saved me from death. I hated my scarred face, body, and now useless hands. I did not want the fate they had laid out for me. It wasn't until my rage calmed, that I needed to understand why I had been given this life.
And that's why I did the only thing a friend could do and I told Val I felt the same friendship and connection. He thanked me and left to return to his company.
My mind felt numb as I went to bed.
Z
