The car sped down the highway as we entered Beardsley. The silence between me and Darcy was palpable and made the interiors of his car feel way more claustrophobic than it actually was. He would glance at me every now then and also tried to say something once but then didn't. He was trying to figure out the right time to say it but it seems that he was failing.
Finally, he said "Are you seriously going to ignore me like this Liz?" "Says the man who ghosted me on my own birthday party" I replied sulking, avoiding his gaze. We approached a traffic crossing and stopped at the red light. A group of young teenagers in the car besides ours were eyeing our car hungrily. Darcy hesitated for a while as he absent-mindedly saw the cars cross by. To be honest by this time this was something I was expecting.
"My father suffered a stroke on the eve of your birthday" he said in a tone that I have never heard from his mouth before. I turned to look at him and his face bore a heavy expression, almost bursting with a mix of pain. I felt like I was going to throw up.
"What?" I asked. "I had to rush him to London. I just came back yesterday. He is with my brother" he said as he looked down. The signal turned green and on cue the line of cars behind us started honking violently. Darcy drove on looking forward, doing a very good job of composing himself considering how distressed he looked some seconds ago.
I felt it coming up my neck and I did everything in my power to stop it but before I could know it I burst into a violent scream of cry with tears pooling into my eyes blurring the city lights. Darcy looked startled.
"Liz, oh my god are you okay?" he said in a slightly gentle voice this time, but it still had a lot of pain. "I know I should have called or text but I was caught up in taking him to London and arranging for him. Still, I am extremely sorry" he continued.
"I am a piece of shit person!" I screamed hotly through a torrent of hotter tears and a bit of snot attempting to leave my nose. "Liz!" Darcy exclaimed, sounding a bit hurt. "I am!" I replied back looking at him, "all I could care for was a stupid party. I feel awful now".
"Liz, it is okay. You did not know. I should have told you about it but I really couldn't find the time." He said as he was slowly gaining the strength in his voice. "It seems like he is going to be there for a while. I had to arrange for his accommodations and nurses there" he replied in a very business-like manner.
"Is he going to be okay?" I asked weakly.
He looked at me and gave a sad smile. He said nothing.
I do not know what came over me but I started sobbing again. "How can I expect to be this selfish and not have it bite me back in the ass" I said.
"What are you talking about Liz?" Darcy asked a bit concerned.
I looked at him for a few moments and wondered if I should tell him. Tell him Liz, you need to tell someone. Talk to someone. It is a risk worth taking.
No. why? What would go wrong? The worst case scenario here is that he is going to judge you and your family. Good. Breaking up down the line would be a lot less painful.
Darcy looked at me again hoping that I would say something.
"I have some doubts but I heard a rumor that my mother was having an affair" I said while looking at the street.
Darcy took a sharp right turn and stopped in front of Spanish restaurant. He took a deep breath while holding the steering wheel.
"Who told you?" he said, this time in a voice that was both low and booming at the same time.
I felt like someone just beat my head with a heavy club.
A valet in a crisp jacket came up to us. He recognized Darcy and instantly had an expression of surprise on his mousy face.
"Should I inform the manager that you're here sir? I'm sorry but he would need a few minutes to arrange for a table for you" he said while smiling.
Darcy gave me a look as I sat there frozen and unable to comprehend anything.
"Sure Lester, that would be lovely. A table for two" he said as he get out of the car "and keep it a bit private" he continued as he shoved a $5 note into his front pocket.
"Doe everyone in this wretched city knows that my mother is an adulterer?" I whispered sharply into my oversized glass of wine. Darcy leaned a bit forward too and was listening to me very intently. "How and when did you find out about it" I asked as I began to take large sips of the very dry and very good wine.
He looked a bit hesitant for a while but then he broke into a smile.
"You don't want to know Liz" he said as he looked at me with that gentle seductive expression of his. "I do" I said sitting up a bit "how bad can it even be at this point" I said sarcastically while chuckling a bit and lifting up the glass to my lips.
Darcy closed his eyes as if he looked for the right way of saying it. "I saw them last year in my brother's brother-in-law's restaurant in London".
The wine held on to my throat for a few seconds as I tried to swallow it. "Last…last year?" I said meekly while trying to avoid choking myself.
He closed it eyes again and this time the expression of pain flitted across his face again. "Yes, last year, on 23rd November. Your birthday" he said while looking into my eyes intently.
I stared into his for two whole minutes. My birthday last year. She said she was going to attend this very important charity event last year on my birthday in Paris that just could not, ABSOLUTELY could not be postponed at any cost whatsoever.
"Are you sure?" I said fighting with an incoming attack of tears. He took my left hand into his and pressed it tightly into his large fist, "Liz I wish I wasn't. But I am". I was finding it very hard to breathe despite a window open behind me. "I also happen to know the guy she was with" he said, "Do you want to know?"
"Are you ready to order now sir?" a middle-aged waiter with sleek black hair came out of nowhere.
"No not yet" Darcy said. "Yes we are" I said sharply.
Both the waiter and Darcy looked at me for a few seconds. I looked back at Darcy as he tried to figure out if I was serious or not. The waiter trying to sense some gossip-worthy material looked at Darcy sideways and anticipated his next move.
"Very Well" Darcy said while still looking at me. The waiter promptly took out his notepad and pen as he looked sideways at me this time while I lit a cigarette.
We ate the four courses of dinner without talking about mother.
It must have been around 11:30 when the car stopped in front of my apartment building.
"If you need anything Liz, you know that my townhouse condo is not too far away from here" he said while putting his arm on my seat and leaning in a bit.
"I know" I said trying to be as casual as I can while looking into my lap.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked as he peeped into my lowered face.
I suddenly broke into a bitter smile. "What?" Darcy asked a bit perplexed.
"Nothing" I replied, "I was just wondering that.." I trailed off.
"What?" Darcy repeated, this time turning a bit serious.
"That" I continued, "I have some very shitty birthday luck" I completed.
We looked at each other for a few seconds. I started chuckling. He burst into a laugh as if someone exploded a balloon.
We both started laughing uproariously.
"You do know how to laugh even when you're knocked down" he said as he took a deep breath between his laugh "I guess you are tougher than you look".
"Let's hope so" I said. Invite him up! This is going perfect!
"It is getting very late" I said suddenly while still smiling. "Thanks a lot for the dinner, Frank".
Hearing his name made him look up in surprise. He wanted to say something again. I waited for a couple of minutes for him to say it.
But he didn't. He smiled defeated and looked down a bit disappointed.
I understand.
"I will see you around then" I said a bit sadly as I got out of the car.
"Liz!" I heard Darcy shout from the car as I was standing on the curb.
I gleefully turned around and bent over into the car window. I peered in with a wide grin.
"You know how I remember the exact date on which I saw your mother with that dark-haired Italian guy?" he asked as he looked at me intently.
My smile vanished away sharply.
"Why?" I asked.
"It was my mother's first birthday after her death" he said with that super painful yet extremely beautiful smile of his.
We both looked at each other like we were going through age's worth of time. For the first time in my life I saw something in his eyes I never did before. I felt like I was exposed to a vista of natural beauty that no other mortal has ever witnessed.
"Have a good night Liz" he said as he switched back to his debonair self and sped past me towards his condo.
I felt this tinge in my chest and I thought that I was going to break down again into hopeless tears. But to my pleasant surprise, I was filled with this warmth that manifested itself into the widest I have smiled in a long time.
It was when I entered my building when I realized something that hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Wait, Dark-haired Italian guy? Jesse said he was a ginger Irish!"
