A/N: No Pokemon were harmed in the making of this episode.
Meta wise at least, in universe lots of pain and death occurred to make this episode. This is probably the most brutal one yet and I plan on trying to tone it down a bit after this.
I don't own Pokemon or Total drama.
"Previously on Pokemon NOT an Island. The contestants were sent to find keys guarded by Hisuian Pokemon to open a chest containing burger ingredients that they would then have to use to make a burger called the Magmortar Special. In the end the Buffoons made a slightly better burger than the Dirtbags according to the food critic, who I had to kill because he refused to leave. At the elimination ceremony Bob was eliminated because he lost a tied vote between him and Merrick. After this Mint quit because she had had enough if the filth. Who will go home this time? Find out on this episode of Pokemon NOT an Island!"
Two members of the Legion could be seen scaling a mountain. Upon reaching the summit they began to observe the Peninsula.
"How much longer until the place becomes unstable?" asked one of the two members.
"By my estimations, about 2 hours," responded the other one. "Did you bring the plate Fire?"
"Yes Psychic I brought the plate," responded Fire who then held the plate out but nothing happened.
"Surely we could have come here at least a little bit later," pointed out Fire as the necessary events were not going to happen any time soon.
Elsewhere in a forest Alfred was hunting for the invincibility statue. While due to his overconfidence he wasn't expecting to need it, it would still be better if he had it and not some other contestant. Alfred then lifted a bush and surprisingly enough there was the statue.
Unfortunately for Alfred, it immediately disappeared and a note was left behind that said the following.
Looks like you just missed the statue due to it's relocation cycle.
Alfred then thought back to when he was poking around in Merrick's mind and found a clue for the invincibility statue.
"The means to an end are not consistent because the statue relocates," realized Alfred. "This changes everything."
Elsewhere Ember was by herself planning out her strategy for the merge.
"So Unless I can determine that the other females will fall for me the only candidate left for the taking when the merge happens is Merrick," thought Ember. "Unless I want to try seducing Phantos."
Ember then laughed to herself about that idea. Even if Phantos wasn't planned to be the next boot the Dusknoir was so emotionless that she highly doubted that he would fall for her advances.
Speaking of Phantos, it turned out that he was right behind Ember, causing her to jump when she noticed.
"What are you doing?" asked Ember.
Phantos said nothing as always.
"Typical. You know the next time we lose everyone is going to vote for you right? There is nothing you can do about it."
Out of nowhere Phantos used Dark Pulse which knocked Ember into a large rock. By the time Ember could look up, Phantos was gone and a note was where he was once standing that said the following.
You are lucky I am unable to speak, otherwise you and some other contestants here would have severe issues winning.
Ember quickly threw the note in a nearby lake quickly as she saw Derek and Mike running to her.
"Are you ok?" asked Derek. "We saw Phantos attack you and wanted to see if you needed any help."
"I'll be fine," responded Ember. "He just attacked me out of nowhere."
Meanwhile Honey was trying to relax in the girls cabin now that Mint was gone. Currently the only other person in the cabin was Lea as Rusalika decided to try to find the immunity statue since there really wasn't anything else to do.
"If you don't mind me asking, how are things over at the Buffoons?" asked Honey.
"It's fine," responded Lea.
"I guess that makes sense, aside from maybe Phantos you guys are pretty much a functional team meanwhile the Dirtbags are far more unstable as a team."
Before the conversation could continue any further, a giant fissure swallowed the entire cabin which obviously killed Lea and Honey. Said fissure was not caused by Arceus even though he was nearby.
"You know, she does have a point," admitted Arceus. "I should probably fix that."
Arceus revived the two contestants and replaced the cabin with one that was equally as bad then sent out the painful telepathy message. Once everyone was there he made his announcement.
"I have decided for the sake of dramatics to switch up the teams a little bit. Alfred and Mr. Sandwich are now on the Stupid Buffoons meanwhile Mike and Derek are on the Greedy Dirtbags."
000
"The threat we were all united against was just removed and replaced with a second alliance," said Merrick. "Looks like I'm going to step up my game to hang on."
000
Once the two teams switched members Arceus threw Mr. Sandwich at Lea. While the sandwich was to be treated as a contestant Arceus knew that leaving it in the cabins and expecting the other contestants to interact with it was simply going too far with the idea so he just held on to it up until this point.
"Anyways todays challenge is a nice and simple game of paintball, except that instead of paintballs, the ammunition being used is real bullets."
"By real bullets you mean the type that when shot kill people?" asked Alfred who was the only contestant that hadn't been rendered speechless.
"Duh," responded Arceus. "Have you not been paying attention to how many times you guys have been killed? If you get shot by a bullet you are out. If you die to anything else you have a second chance. The challenge ends when everyone on one team is out."
Suddenly a section of nearby trees began to melt into a puddle of liquified tree.
"Oh yeah I forgot to mention that some crazy stuff is occurring on this Peninsula today. Have fun with that."
Arceus teleported both teams to random locations and then teleported the guns a few seconds later.
"You may start shooting the other team now!" Arceus then announced.
"I think we should stick together," suggested Ember.
"I don't like the idea, Mr. Sandwich is a sandwich and Phantos already left," responded Alfred who then picked up Mr. Sandwich's gun.
"How come you get two guns?" asked Ember.
"Honestly might be three in a second they way Lea is looking at her gun. Also it's because psychic powers slightly subvert the issues of wielding multiple guns."
Lea then proved Alfred right by putting down her gun.
"I'm sorry but I can't do this."
"Can't say I necessarily blame you, since we apparently aren't sticking together take Mr. Sandwich and hide him somewhere," decided Ember.
Meanwhile the Dirtbags were planning their own methods of taking on this challenge.
"Before we split up or whatever we should make sure everyone here isn't going to chicken out on shooting the other team," said Merrick
Mike immediately put down his gun.
"Anyone else?" asked Merrick.
"I'm not comfortable with it, but I'm willing to try," responded Rusalika.
"I mean Arceus is just going to bring everyone back so it's not as if we are permanently killing them right?" responded Derek trying to justify the idea.
Honey simply gave a thumbs up as she was too busy trying to hold her gun but due to being a quadruped she was having a harder time than the rest of her team.
"Should we split up or stick together?" asked Derek.
"I don't care what you do just don't get shot," responded Merrick who then left while taking Mike's gun since he wasn't going to be using it.
"I think we should split up into teams of two," suggested Honey.
No one objected and the remainders of the Dirtbags did just that with Derek going with Mike and Honey going with Rusalika. Clearly the ex Buffoons were more comfortable working with each other than their new teammates at the moment.
Elsewhere on the peninsula Lea was looking for a place to hide Mr. Sandwich. She finally settled on hiding him on a tree but unfortunately as soon as she did the area began to suddenly burn. Lea was able to escape but Mr. Sandwich being a sandwich obviously did not. The burning area then began to turn into ice.
Mr. Sandwich was then "revived" outside of the frozen wasteland next to Lea confusing the Chikorita before she remembered the two death rule of the challenge.
If there was any denial about Mr. Sandwich being a real contestant, this moment squashed it. As Lea figured that nothing else would happen in the area, she decided to hide Mr. sandwich inside a tree that wasn't frozen and then she ran off to try to find a better place to hide for the duration of the challenge.
Almost immediately, a Dynamaxed Beartic crushed the tree containing Mr. Sandwich by stepping on it and began to chase Lea across the peninsula.
"A Buffoon has been eliminated!" announced Arceus through a megaphone speaker. "It also seems that we are also having our obligatory bear chase. I was kind of hoping we wouldn't have one."
"Arceus had megaphone speakers this entire time?" asked Merrick. "Why did he not use them?"
"Because fuck all of you," responded Arceus through a painful telepathy message. "Also because it's more convenient as well as humorous for me. The only reason I'm even using this megaphone system is because they are less disruptive to the shootouts that will be occurring throughout this challenge."
Merrick sighed at the host's response and then looked at the building that was ahead. He had decided that he wasn't going to shoot the contestants but deal with them using a different weapon. Unfortunately, he could only get said weapon from the cafeteria, and it would undoubtedly be guarded by Dracovish.
Merrick snuck to the back of the building and melted the glass window with his fire type abilities. He then snuck into the kitchen and pulled out a bunch of knives from the kitchen drawer. Before he could leave however he bumped into Dracovish who was clearly not happy.
"Is there by any chance a way we could work out some sort of deal for these knives?" asked Merrick trying to save himself.
Dracovish thought about the proposition for a bit and then set down a typewriter with the following statement.
Fine. You may have the knives but only if you consume a sample of order 666.
"It can't taste that bad," responded Merrick trying to be calm.
Dracovish put the sample on the table but covered it with leaves first so Merrick wouldn't immediately die by looking at it.
Merrick quickly ate the sample in one bite and for a few moments appeared to be fine aside from being disgusted from the taste. Afterwards his bones began to stiffen and acid began foaming from his mouth and he then died soon after.
It took 30 minutes for Merrick to be revived as Arceus wasn't joking about Order 666 related deaths being difficult to undo. When he finally was revived he saw that Dracovish had left the building but had neatly placed the knives on the table with a note that said the following.
Was it worth it?
"No," whispered Merrick before walking out with the knives.
Elsewhere Mike and Derek were out walking in the forest when Mike asked Derek a question that had not crossed the Dewott's mind.
"What if we run into Ember? Are you going to try to shoot her?"
Derek paused for a moment.
"Mike there are three other Pokemon on our team with guns. For all we know Ember could already be dead."
Immediately afterwards a bullet rang out but it only hit a tree causing a giant branch to fall and Kill Derek. Alfred could be seen telekinetically holding all 3 of his guns, all of which were aimed at Mike.
"I'll have to deal with him later," admitted Alfred. "As of now we need to talk. I assume your new teammates have told you about my mind reading abilities?"
"No they haven't," responded Mike.
"Honestly I am basically done with being subtle about them at this point. Anyways your old teammate Ember is a manipulative seductress that is totally playing Derek."
"How am I supposed to know that you aren't lying about these mind reading powers?"
"You went to the hospital once due to a juggling accident. Do I need to tell you things that you probably don't want to be exposed on international television or do you believe me?"
"You didn't have to go that far to prove it. Also why would you tell me about these psychic powers or what Ember is really like?"
"You think that just because I read minds I am an evil person with no morals whatsoever? I'd tell Derek myself but I think he would be more likely to believe it from a friend. Anyways since the competition is about shooting each other, I think you can understand why I have to shoot you."
Alfred then shot Mike and picked up his gun.
"The first Dirtbag has been killed!" announced Arceus.
000
H"onestly I only shot Mike because me and him have quite the opposing views," said Alfred. "It's amazing what kind of details you can find in someone's head. Now it's time to demonstrate how easy this game really is for me."
000
"Now that I think about what she's done so far Alfred might have a point about Ember," said Mike. "Then again it could just be some sort of trick."
Mike then looked around at his surroundings.
"Wait a minute, I literally died how am I doing a confessional?"
000
Meanwhile Honey and Rusalika were searching for the Buffoons when Rusalika suddenly broke into a sneezing fit.
"Are you okay?" asked Honey.
"I'm fine," responded Rusalika."It's just allergies from the plants."
"You sure? I can help you if you need it."
"NO!" blurted out Rusalika suddenly. "I mean, I'm completely fine. So how exactly are you going to fire that gun you have?"
"Well if we run into another contestant that could be a problem but if we sneak up on one I can just place it on the ground and pull the trigger," responded Honey who proceeded to do a mock demonstration but accidentally pulled the trigger.
"Maybe no one heard it?" asked Honey.
She was instantly proven wrong when she looked forward and saw Phantos being right in front of them.
Surprisingly enough though Phantos didn't fire his gun immediately. Rusalika took the opportunity to shoot at Phantos. This was a big mistake however as due to her allergies she lost focus on Phantos and accidentally shot the cracked parts of his chains, shattering them upon impact.
Like a Statue coming to life, Phantos's fingers began to move and in one swift movement he ripped off whatever chains were still hanging on him. He then turned to look at Honey and Rusalika who were panicking. Honey began trying to target her gun at Phantos but before she could get a shot off Phantos quickly swiped the gun. He then shot Honey with his gun and then knocked Rusalika unconscious by slamming Honey's gun on her head.
Now that he wasn't at risk of being shot, Phantos could contemplate the events that had happened. The chains had been holding him back and even made it so that he feared taking them off. He would have to deal with the source of them after he won this competition.
Phantos decided to spare Rusalika and leave her alive for now as a sign of thanks for breaking him out of the wretched chains.
"A second Dirtbag has been killed!" announced Arceus a few moments later.
Elsewhere Merrick was carrying the Knives he had gotten from Dracovish. Merrick heard a rustle in the grass and held a knife out.
"Stay back if you know what's good for you!" he shouted.
He then quickly turned around and killed a Gallade that was behind him by stabbing him. He then heard some sarcastic clapping. An Alakazam emerged from some nearby bushes and a Quagsire fell out of a tree.
"I didn't really like Darryl that much but he should not have gone out like that," admitted the Alakazam.
"Who are you two?" asked Merrick
"Just a couple of interns trying not to die," responded the Alakazam. "That guy you just stabbed is now the ten thousandth intern to die since this show started. Congratulations!
The numbers didn't exactly add up to Merrick. "And how have these ten thousand interns died?"
"About 5000 of them died from wild Pokemon and natural disasters, 2000 of them died from some sort of secret society, 1600 of them from show related deaths, and the rest of them pissed off Arceus for various reasons and he killed them."
"Yet no one considers resigning?"
"There was this one group of grass types that did so when they realized their mafia boss was on a different reality show, but they managed to ask Arceus in the best conditions. Any worse conditions and they would probably have been killed. Speaking of dying, it happens so often that whoever has been here the longest is more or less officially the head intern. Because of you I am now the head intern."
The Quagsire that had been there the whole time then looked at the Alakazam.
"Oh right Jeff you got here two days before me," realized the Alakazam. "Me and Darryl employed skill in surviving this long and you just do it with dumb luck!"
As if to prove the Alakazam right, Merrick threw a knife that went right over Jeff's head. The Quagsire then looked at Merrick with a confused but angry look.
"Neither of you hear that demonic screeching coming from that creature behind you?" asked Merrick.
"NO," responded the Alakazam. "Are you on drugs or something?"
"I am not on drugs."
"The fish's food!" blurted out Jeff. "You said it did stuff Richard."
"Yeah if the Pokemon eating it doesn't DIE from it!" responded Richard. "Actually come to think of it, if he is a contestant and Arceus brought him back to life the side effects of the food might still remain. Jeff you might be on to something."
The aftertaste of Order 666 was so bad that Merrick almost cut off his tongue with a knife at that exact second, but he held back using every bit of willpower that he had.
"Well I'm sold on the theory lets leave before this gets any worse," decided Richard who then teleported himself and Jeff out of the area as quickly as possible.
Viewing the entire thing was Ember, who then aimed at Merrick with her gun. Before she could get a shot off however Merrick caught a sight of her and quickly threw a bunch of the knives he had at her.
"Get away from me you fiend!" shouted out Merrick.
None of the knives even came close to hitting Ember, so she simply took aim again and shot Merrick, putting him out of his misery for the time being.
"Another Dirtbag has been killed!" announced Arceus
"I wonder what Merrick was talking about" thought Ember. "Ah whatever it's not my problem unless I can use it to my advantage."
The skies then darkened and a powerful earthquake shook the land. As if that wasn't enough, randomly colored lighting began to strike as well. While most of the contestants were able to barely dodge it, Rusalika was unable to due to still being unconscious and was killed by the lightning. Phantos was also caught off guard by the lightning and was also killed.
"Attention contestants, please ignore the dangerous cataclysmic event that is currently happening and continue shooting each other," announced Arceus.
This course of events was exactly what the Legion was waiting for. Back on the mountain Fire was still holding the plate up into the sky, only now it was acting as a lightning rod for the multicolored lightning. The immense power was causing the Arceus faced human to stagger a bit.
"The plate has absorbed enough energy!" shouted out Psychic to be heard above the storm. "Let's get out of here while we still can!"
The two Legion members teleported back to their cave with the plate as quickly as possible. As soon as they arrived they entered a hallway filled with 16 of the 17 other members of the Legion being visible, while the 17th member was unseen. Just like Fire and Psychic the 16 visible members of the Legion followed the Pokemon type naming convention and wore cloaks related to their typings, the 17th member on the other hand was not only the leader, but he was a bit different from the rest of the Legion members.
"I think we got enough lighting absorbed into the plate," claimed Fire.
"You better have," declared the hidden 17th member. "Or there will be serious trouble for the both of you."
"We are well aware of the consequences of failure Undefined," admitted Psychic. "But don't you need all 18 of us alive for your final goal?"
"I am closer to obtaining the true power of the Ancient One than the rest of you combined. I do not need to kill you to form an adequate punishment."
The plate then began levitating as it was spun around.
"The amount here is enough for our purposes. However there is still one more item that we need, and it will require the assistance of a contestant to obtain. Ghost I am sending you to recruit said contestant. Do not fail me."
The Legion member that was known as Ghost teleported away.
While all of this was happening Lea was walking around in the forest trying to pass time. Despite the obvious number advantage her team had at the moment she was still somewhat worried about the chances of her team losing. She was one of the obvious weak links at this point and not even attempting to kill anyone made her odds even worse.
It was exactly this fact that Ember, who had finally caught up to her, was planning on utilizing for the time being.
"Hey Lea!" exclaimed Ember. "Either one of you die yet?"
"I couldn't save Mr. Sandwich," responded Lea. "I know you won't believe me, but he was crushed by a dynamaxed Pokemon."
"You mean like the one behind you?"
Right behind Lea was a dynamaxed Shedinja. Before it could do anything however, Ember used flamethrower on it to quickly defeat it. Rather than shrink down however, the fainted bug then began to fall over and crush Ember. Thankfully for her, she still had her second life and was revived next to Lea.
"Before something else pops out of nowhere and kills us, we need to talk," said Ember. "I need some help staying in this competition and you were the best candidate."
"Me?" asked Lea.
"Our teammates are two powerful loners and a literal sandwich. If we don't work together at least one of us isn't reaching the merge."
Lea didn't have a lot of options and Ember seemed fairly trustworthy.
"Ok."
000
Ember burst out into laughter "At least one of us isn't reaching the merge. We have a sandwich on our team and the threats will probably be too busy voting each other off to bother with us. Everyone in this competition is so gullible!"
000
Rusalika finally awoke from her previous death, now apparently just outside of the cataclysmic storm. She then immediately had a gun pointed to her head by none other than Alfred.
"Dreaming about not being completely useless?" mocked Alfred.
"Just pull the trigger already and save me the evil rant," responded Rusalika.
"Well now I'm especially holding off on shooting you. First I just wanted to have a bit of a talk you know? About you, and the family that's holding you back."
During this moment Alfred was distracted, so Rusalika grabbed a gun that was next to her and shot him in the arm.
The gunshot wound wasn't immediately fatal, but it still caused Alfred great pain and was causing him to bleed. The weight of this was starting to get into Rusalika's head however, preventing her shooting again to finish Alfred off.
"You will always be helpless with someone being with you," claimed Alfred. "Whether it be for familial or romantic reasons."
Using the little bit of strength that he had, Alfred shot Rusalika with another gun that he had. In order to cheat the death system, he then used his psychic powers to snap his neck so that technically he didn't die from being shot.
"Another Dirtbag has been killed! One more and the Buffoons win!"
Derek looked at his gun. He was the last member of his team and he had to fight just about all of the Buffoons. How was he going to do this?
While that was happening Phantos had all but stopped caring about the challenge and decided to dedicate some time to getting used to free movement. Before he could get started however Ghost teleported in front of him.
Phantos punched the Legion member as hard as he could but between not having a punching move and the general durability Ghost had it barely made him flinch.
"You should probably get that fixed," said Ghost.
Phantos rolled his eye.
"If I was ordered to contact you less than 12 hours ago I could understand the silence Phantos. But we both know you never took a vow of silence and those chains of yours were finally broken. So can you do me a favor and actually talk?"
"It's been a long time, so do me a favor and tell me what you want and get out of my way," Phantos spoke in a voice that was raspy from disuse.
"My boss wants you to help him in acquiring a rare material. It's located in a blocked off area that we believe will be accessible to contestants in the future."
"What's in it for me?"
Ghost was tempted to kill Phantos right then and there, but he kept his composure and an invincibility statue materialized out of his hand.
"This payment enough for you?"
"And how do I know that isn't fake?" responded Phantos
A golden inscription began to form on the statue.
"I don't think that a fake invincibility statue would be capable of doing that," pointed out Ghost. "Do we have a deal?"
"While I will accept, aren't you forgetting that Arceus will know about this?" asked Phantos.
"Erasing ourselves from his knowledge is our specialty. Ask him how you were killed and you should see."
Ghost then shot a red chain at Phantos to drain all of his life force in order to give him the evidence that he needed.
"A second Buffoon has been killed!"
000
"What Phantos doesn't know is that the invincibility statue I gave him IS a fake made by the best members of the Legion," said Ghost. "Wait a second this is the confessional to the show that the Ancient One literally owns."
Ghost shot a laser at the confessional camera to break it.
000
After a few seconds of static the confessional was somehow able to fix itself. It also felt highly insulted that the Legion member didn't think that it could keep a secret.
000
Ember sighed in annoyance. "That was either Alfred or Phantos that just died. Don't tell me that we are about to blow a 3-1 advantage."
"Don't you mean 4-1?" asked Lea.
"You never took a gun so I didn't count you. I thought that was obvious."
Both Ember and Lea then saw Derek walking aimlessly towards them. As far as Ember was concerned this challenge was as good as won.
"I was hoping I wouldn't have to shoot you," claimed Ember.
Derek looked up and saw Ember. Suddenly he was filled with sadness at what he would have to do and pointed the gun at Ember with a shaky hand. Before he could fire however two gunshots rang out and killed both Ember and Lea. Standing behind them was Alfred, who's expression went from excited glee to mild disappointment once he saw Derek.
"Seems like I killed your "girlfriend" right in front of you," said Alfred.
Derek was utterly dumbfounded by Alfred's response.
"You killed you own teammates!" shouted out Derek in anger.
"It's called self sabotage Derek. Look it up."
"I get that self sabotage is a thing that sometimes happens in shows like this but I feel like this crosses a line somewhere!"
Derek then shot Alfred out of rage not only because of the self sabotage but also the fact that he shot Ember specifically.
"The Greedy Dirtbags win this challenge!"
Derek's gun then flew out of his hands and shot him.
Arceus revived the contestants in front of him and while he did this the cataclysmic storm finally stopped.
"So first off that storm wasn't just a one time event and will probably strike the area a few more times during this competition," he then said. "Second off Buffooons how did you manage to blow a 4-1 lead? Don't tell me how though I already know. I will be seeing you at the elimination tonight."
Most of the contestants then left the area except for Alfred, Phantos, and Mr. Sandwich.
"So how was I killed today Arceus?" questioned Phantos.
"You should know how," responded Arceus.
"I do but I thought that the great and powerful Arceus would want a chance to prove his vast knowledge."
"Well the question is so stupid I refuse to answer it."
The response was everything Phantos needed to know.
Alfred snickered at Arceus's response.
"You want to ask me a stupid question as well Alfred?" asked Arceus.
"Nah I was here for a different reason," responded Alfred.
He then immediately took control of Phantos's mind.
"Actually I take back what I said. I do have a stupid question. Are you going to stop me from using hypnosis to rig a vote?"
Elsewhere Derek was walking with Ember.
"No hard feelings in regards to me almost shooting you?" asked Derek.
"Not a problem at all," lied Ember.
In reality the Salazzle was fuming at the thought that Derek had the audacity to try to shoot her. Sure she was going to do the same thing but at least in her case Derek was the only contestant left and that obviously made it a different thing.
The two contestants continued walking until they both saw Mike.
"Derek can I talk to you for a second?" asked Mike. "Without Ember?"
"Seems fine to me," responded Derek. "Ember in case I don't see you until after the elimination it was Alfred that shot you."
After waiting for Derek and Mike to walk away Ember quietly followed them with the intention of eavesdropping.
"I'm going to be honest Derek, I had a talk with Alfred earlier and it seems like Ember may not be as trustworthy as we originally thought," said Mike.
"Oh you mean the Psychic Squid that literally SHOT HIS OWN TEAMATES WITH AN ACTUAL GUN?"
"He did what?"
"Yeah he shot both Ember and Lea during the challenge and claimed it was self sabotage. I guess now he's trying to drive a wedge between us and Ember for some reason."
Mike briefly paused to think about what he was going to say next before continuing, "Unless that's the idea. What if he is trying to be blatantly evil and untrustworthy so his truth seems like a lie and a fellow villain gets away with their evildoings."
Derek was getting tired of this conversation, "Mike I'm sure you will find a wonderful and loyal partner one day but as of now you don't have to worry about mine."
A lightbulb went off in Mike's head, "During the third challenge Ember flirted with Zorro in order to distract him and even tried pulling the romantic moves on me instantly after starting a relationship with you. Doesn't that seem a little sketchy?"
Derek stopped walking immediately.
"Can you leave while I rethink everything that has happened to me so far with Ember? I'm not saying that you are right but you may not be entirely wrong."
Meanwhile Ember was watching the whole thing while being hidden and tightened her fist in anger.
"The gay bastard will pay when the time comes. But it also seems that the contestant that needs to go home tonight just became even more obvious."
000
"Just so we are clear, I have nothing against gay people as a whole," clarified Ember. "Only specific ones that try to ruin everything that I have planned."
000
Arceus teleported Jeff in front of him for a very important task.
"Jeff I need you to take this sandwich and figure out a way to work out a voting system for him," ordered Arceus while handing Jeff Mr. Sandwich.
The Quagsire then ate Mr. Sandwich in one bite.
There was a good chance that Arceus would have killed him otherwise, but luckily for Jeff, randomly eating Mr. Sandwich somehow gave Arceus an idea on what to do.
In about two hours the Buffoons were at the campfire with Arceus.
"After today there will only be four of you left, and there will be drastic consequences for all of you regardless of whoever you vote off today," announced Arceus. "No pressure."
000
"I hope Ember knows what she is doing," sighed Lea.
000
Alfred was considering his options, "I could eliminate any one teammate and no one could stop it from happening."
000
Mr. Sandwich was in the confessional. Obviously he said nothing.
000
Arceus grabbed two of the pineapple pizza slices, "Let's get this over with. Phantos and Ember, you two are safe."
As per the usual Ember caught her slice while Phantos got a pizza to the face, although this time Phantos didn't catch it because he was under Alfred's mind control.
Lea was worried while Alfred was looking confident.
"Lea, you are safe. Now it's down to arguably the greatest threat in this competition, and the biggest cannon fodder that is in this show."
"I know Phantos is strong but does that really make him a bigger threat than me?" asked Alfred. "I mean you did say arguably."
"I guess your teammates thought otherwise since you are going home tonight Alfred!" announced Arceus.
Alfred was suddenly shocked, "You said I am going home tonight? That's impossible because I mind controlled Phantos to vote for Mr. Sandwich."
"You must suck at math then because that's two votes to what I can only assume is three votes," pointed out Ember.
"But that would mean Mr. Sandwich voted for Alfred," Interjected Lea. "How is that even possible?"
Arceus summoned a TV, "His vote was calculated using an advanced algorithm."
The TV was turned on to reveal that the "advanced algorithm" was just a Charizard throwing a dart at a board. He then went over to another dartboard that decided what Pokemon would be in the next region and stuck a dart on the part that said "Charmander line."
"I'm willing to let the rigged dartboard slide since I've got bigger problems to deal with than a Charizard rigging his species to be in every single region," clarified Arceus.
"You mean I lost to a sandwich that votes at random?" asked Alfred. "He wasn't supposed to get a vote. I was supposed to tie with Mr. Sandwich to highlight how much I didn't need to worry about better opponents!"
"Alfred you've seen the wheel of ties," pointed out Arceus. "You were just an overconfident idiot tonight and it cost you. Goodbye."
Being tired of waiting for Alfred to willingly go into the vortex Arceus threw him into the Vortex of Shame.
Being thrown into the vortex was enough to cut the mind control connection between Alfred and Phantos. He then began to talk.
"You know It's a good thing two voted for the right threat."
"Wait Phantos can talk now?" questioned Lea. "Did we vote for the right threat?"
"Alfred had mind control abilities," reminded Ember. "We still outnumber Phantos two to one, give or take a sandwich with random voting."
As the two girls left Phantos remained behind as he showed Arceus the invincibility statue he was given earlier. Arceus pointed at it and the inscription began to form on it.
"You have the legitimate invincibility statue Phantos. Now get out of here."
Phantos left knowing his staying power in this competition had at least doubled if not tripled. Little did he know ever since he took the offer from the legion one member was ordered to keep watch of him at all times.
"So Undefined can make an invincibility statue with an inscription that is real enough to fool The Ancient One," concluded the member currently watching him. "I'm actually sold on his plan working now."
"And with that the Buffoons are down to only 3 contestants," announced Arceus. "Who will die next time? Will Ember be able to keep a hold on her alliance? Will Mr. Sandwich be of any use to his team? The answer to that last question is almost definitely no but to find out the answer to the other two questions you will have to tune in to the next episode of Pokemon NOT An Island!"
A/N: This took longer than it was supposed to.
Basically the reason I was gone so long was because not only was I taking some time off, but it also took some time for me to decide the overall direction I was going to take this story.
Anyways Alfred is out now, originally he was going to make it incredibly far but then I decided that him rigging eliminations with his psychic tricks would get old fast so he was done in by his overconfidence (although it may have been done in a rather convoluted way).
As for why I thought using actual guns for a paintball challenge would be a good idea, alternate ammo have been used in paintball challenges made before this one, so I decided to take it to a logical extreme. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Anyways the peninsula has dangerous cosmic storms and naturally occurring Dynamaxed Pokemon. It's worth noting that not all of the issues of this place will be covered in this fic but the place is a hotspot for the Legion for a reason. Speaking of which, since their naming convention is apparent now (with the exception of their leader Undefined who still technically fits in if we account for the legend plate/being typeless) I might just start namedropping them without specifying anything else about them. Or maybe not I've got time to decide.
I'll see you next time, which hopefully will be sooner than a year and two months.
