Beneath

Chapter Ninety-Six – Proposal

"Jane! So good to hear from you. How's everything going?" Erik said, responding to her VOIP call almost instantly.

"Oh, pretty good. How are you?" Jane asked, trying to force as much enthusiasm into her answer as Erik had into his question.

"We can get to that later. Why don't you tell me what's going on? You've never been very good at hiding your feelings, you know."

Jane sighed. Yes, she knew. Months of living down the hall from Loki had made her a little better at it, but she didn't really want to hide things from Erik. "It's nothing, really. I just…I've been missing Mom and Dad today."

"I see," Erik said, and Jane again wished they could see each other, but she'd known Erik long enough to be able to picture the expression on his face, warm and ready to listen. "Any particular reason?"

"Just thinking about the past, and what might have been."

"They would be so proud of you. And not just for your doctorate and the Foster Theory – which would have sent your father over the roof, by the way – but for who you are. You're a good person, and a strong young woman. You're everything they ever hoped you would be."

Jane laughed a little at "the Foster Theory," but by the end she sat with her forehead in her palm and the tears she'd been holding back since yesterday ran down her cheeks to her chin and dripped onto the desk right in front of the laptop.

"Janey, are you okay?" Erik asked a minute later, making her choke back a sob. Erik sometimes called her that, too.

She wiped at her running nose and breathed out a "yeah." Another minute passed, while she let the tears flow, then got herself under control again as Erik waited. She grabbed a Kleenex and blew her nose – gently, because blowing it hard here could lead to a nosebleed – then grabbed a second one and wiped the rest of her face. "Yeah. I'll be okay. It's just sometimes it still kind of grabs onto me. But I wanted to tell you, Erik…I wanted to thank you. For everything you did for me. For everything you're still doing for me. Mom and Dad got me started, but I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you. And I just want you to know how much I appreciate it, and how much I love you."

"Oh, Jane…," he said, and Jane could picture the tops of his cheeks reddening a bit. He always got a little flustered when she said such things to him.

"Anyway," Jane began, pausing to clear her throat and wipe the back of her hand over her eye where a straggler of a tear had formed, "things are good here." She filled him in on her latest findings – Erik was so interested he asked her to wait a minute for him to get something to take notes on – and when she'd sufficiently recovered from her crying spell and distracted Erik from it, she again asked how he was doing.

"Good. Maybe even a little better. I…uh…I've started seeing someone."

"Really?" Jane asked, sitting up straighter as her ears perked up. SHIELD had provided him with a psychologist but he'd never been comfortable with it – Erik, in general, wasn't terribly comfortable saying a lot about his feelings – and had stopped seeing him after just a couple of sessions. "Erik, I'm so glad. Is it someone with SHIELD, or someone you found yourself?"

"Uh, no, she's not with SHIELD. She doesn't even know about any of that. I met her at a wine cellar tour."

A wine cellar tour? "You met a therapist on a wine cellar tour? You went on a wine cellar tour?"

Erik was laughing by the end. "Not that kind of 'seeing someone.' She's not a therapist. She's a retired high school English teacher. Her name is Audrey." He told her a little more about Audrey, how they'd met, and how they'd got to talking – she'd asked about his accent and it turned out her mother was Norwegian and she'd spent most of her summers in Bergen – and, very briefly, about the two dates they'd been on since. All of this was back in California, where Erik had lived before getting caught up in the Tesseract project in New Mexico.

"So are you moving back to California?"

"Thinking about it."

"Okay," Jane said. She wanted to ask more, but the satellite window was almost over. "Well, I was wondering how you were supposed to, you know, talk to the therapist about stuff, if she didn't even know about it," she said with a chuckle.

"Honestly, Jane, it's a relief to spend time with someone who doesn't know about all that. She doesn't ask me things I don't want to talk about, and she doesn't feel sorry for me because Loki was in my head, or look at me funny and wonder if he's still there."

Jane froze, then squeezed her eyes shut for a second or two. She hated this. Hated that she had to hide things from him. Hated that she couldn't just react to what he was saying without thinking about what she should say because she was hiding things from him. And this was the most he'd ever truly opened up to her about what was really going on. "I'm sure no one thinks Loki's still there, Erik."

"You're probably right. Probably it's just projection. Sometimes I wonder if he's still there."

"I'm so sorry. I wish I could be there."

"You will be. But when you are, let's not talk about that, all right? You're going to tell me every detail about living at the South Pole."

"Of course I will," Jane said automatically, hoping the cringe didn't come through with her voice. Most details about her life at the South Pole happened to include Loki.

It was a guilty relief when she told Erik she had to go because they were about to lose satellite access. It occurred to her that it might be best simply not to tell him about Loki, at least not at first. Then she shook her head at herself. That wasn't her, and she wasn't going to let it become her. She was lying about Loki's presence here now because it was safer for the Amundsen-Scott Station and all who currently called it home – not because it was more convenient, or easier, or less painful for Erik. Even if in some ways it was all those things. But she couldn't help worrying about Erik. He was making progress, bringing up Loki in some context other than a factual description of what had happened, dating for the first time since having an exclusive relationship with the Tesseract project. Would his progress be reversed when she told him the truth?

Jane turned off the computer and got up from the desk. Worrying about it wasn't going to change anything. All it was doing was contributing to the headache that had started up during the conversation, whether from lack of sleep or sudden crying or minor dehydration from how little she'd drunk since yesterday or all of the above. She took a long drink from her water bottle, then grabbed her makeup bag from the armoire and headed to the bathroom. She didn't usually bother with much makeup, but she figured her face was pretty splotchy and gross now from the crying and could use a little help.

When she got to the bathroom, she remembered that it was Monday, and she'd missed house mouse. She'd never even gone to the galley, and never seen what chores she and Loki were supposed to do. She stepped in a stall, then washed up and quickly applied foundation and a little blush and her favorite South Pole lipstick – moisturizing raspberry crème Chapstick – then hurried down toward the galley, and the wall just outside it where the house mouse assignments were posted.

"Did you enjoy your morning off?" Austin asked, coming up behind her just as she found her and Loki's names.

"Uh…"

"Lucas scares me sometimes."

"Really?" Jane asked with a weak smile.

"Yeah. I mean, he comes off as so…refined? Maybe 'uptight' is the word I'm looking for. But when he cuts loose…geez. Have you heard that man belch?"

Jane's eyebrows went up in sudden understanding, and her smile grew more relaxed. "No, thank God. You boys can keep that game entirely to yourself."

Austin laughed. "What happens at the South Pole-"

"Stays at the South Pole," Jane finished with him, nodding.

"Were you going to lunch? Or leaving?"

"Oh, uh…" Is it lunchtime already? A couple of others walked past her and Austin into the galley; her stomach suddenly grumbled; the satellite window was over. Definitely lunchtime. "Going to lunch," Jane said with an even brighter smile, and walked into the galley with Austin. "I won you another boon," Loki had said yesterday after she'd called him out to the jamesway from his poker game. Jane figured no one was wondering why she hadn't done her chores today.

/


/

Jane didn't see Loki the rest of the day, which wound up a short one for her; she got a small bowl of canned fruit for a light supper and went to bed at 6:30. She woke early and showered, then got some laundry going, including the flannel sheets Darcy had sent, for she'd forgotten about the makeup and wound up with it on her pillowcase.

Loki was in the galley when she got there, but there were no empty seats near him, so she sat elsewhere and tried to get back into her routine – double espresso and a reasonably healthy breakfast – while still feeling something a little like jetlag from missing the previous night's sleep.

"I'll see you outside?" Loki asked, dropping by her table on his way out.

Jane nodded and smiled, mouth full. She knew what he meant, and she knew that he knew she knew. They would meet in the jamesway. Today she would find out about his other journeys through time. And hopefully convince him that making any more was not a good idea. She watched him go and missed whatever Nora was saying. The last couple of days were a whirlwind, and it still hadn't quite all caught up to her. Her parents. The Huntington's that had taken her grandfather and aunt, that might one day catch up to her, too. He tried to bring back a cure for Huntington's. That one really hadn't sunk in at all yet, except how stunned she was, how moved, that he'd attempted it. For her. It was almost unfathomable. She was sitting across from Nora Ellison, the station's winter doctor. What would she do if she thought she could travel to the future and bring back cures for every incurable disease on Earth? If it was something you cared about, the temptation would be almost irresistible. Jane knew from her own meager experience. And what if Yggdrasil did permit travel to the future, and Loki had brought back the cure? Would she have said "no thanks" because her moral stance wouldn't allow it? Loki had called her "self-righteous"…

Then Nora said her name and drew her attention back to the others around her, dragging her out of the morass of doubt and internal wrangling that she'd thought she was finished with.

/


/

"Welcome back, Jane," Loki said when Jane arrived and started shedding outer layers.

"Hi," she said, giving him a slightly uneasy smile. It took her a moment to realize why the simple words made her uneasy; him welcoming her suggested that he was the one who belonged here in this jamesway, with the laptop that controlled Pathfinder, and she was the guest. Then she remembered the password protection he'd added to her laptop and the feeling was confirmed. A password wasn't such a bad idea, actually, she supposed, but he was going to have to tell her what it was. She didn't want to start with more conflict right off the bat, though.

"Are you feeling better?" Loki asked, watching Jane carefully to judge how she would react to his proposal.

"Yeah," she said, trying to smooth her hair back down from the balaclava and neck gaiter she'd just pulled off. "I slept really well."

"Good. Because I have a suggestion, and it would be best if you were feeling well for it."

"Okay," Jane said, surprised and a little nervous about what Loki's suggestion might involve.

"I want you to take a trip with me."

Jane tensed up right away "Loki, I don't know how many other ways I can explain this. I can't-"

"Hear me out. I'm not suggesting you try to change anything. I'm only suggesting you experience it."

"I mean it. I-"

"We won't interact with anyone. We'll just make a quick visit to the past. It's no different from anything I've already done six times. And we'll bring the dataloggers from one of the probes, and you can collect data like nothing else that's ever been collected in the history of any of the realms."

Jane had been shaking her head, but stopped when Loki mentioned the dataloggers. Multiple actual scientific measurements of time travel. Time travel. She clenched her jaw. "The risks are too-"

"What risks? I can ensure we aren't recognized, or even particularly noticed. We won't change anything. We can always flip the RF switch and go back on the outside chance that there's any sign of a problem. Jane…I can show you Asgard."

Jane's jaw went slack. She'd assumed he was talking about Earth. Asgard hadn't even occurred to her. She'd wanted to see it so badly, only to find herself falling to what she'd quickly assumed would be her death when she tried to follow in Loki's footsteps and use Pathfinder, and after Loki saved her she'd found herself chained to a gate on the bifrost. She'd never seen more than a distant view of a gleaming city against a backdrop of mountains.

"I could show you Thor in a gown," Loki offered, keeping his expression neutral.

Her gaze refocused on him; it took a moment for her to grasp what he'd just said. "Only if I get to see you in a dress, too," she said, her lips sliding into a smile, though this still seemed entirely surreal to her; she wasn't really being serious, and wasn't sure if Loki was or not.

"Mmmm. I rescind that particular offer," he said with a smile. It wasn't practical, since it would be hard to show Jane any of that while remaining unnoticed, but in truth he simply didn't want to revisit that adventure. It was, for the most part, a good memory of a brotherhood now betrayed and shattered, which made it all the more intolerable now. He had an idea, borne of a sudden desire to strike at Thor. "I could show you what he did to result in his hammer being stolen and him having to wear a gown." Jane just shot him a look – skeptical, annoyed, he wasn't exactly sure. No matter. He had no desire to see it himself. He would never be able to scrub hard enough to remove that image from his mind's eye.

"If we did it…" Oh, God. Did I just say that?

"Yes?"

I guess I did. Again. But six times. Loki did it six times. And he did interact. The first ever data on time travel. And Asgard. "We'd have to be absolutely certain we weren't interfering in history in any way. Not even to do something good. We would just observe. Nothing more."

"Yes. Of course. I do understand what you were telling me before, Jane," he said, though it wasn't really true. "We don't know what the consequences would be. So we merely observe. What would you like to see? I can suggest many other events of possible interest. How about the time Thor set a tavern on fire when he was drunk?"

The growing spirit of excitement and curiosity that was quite possibly overcoming reason and good sense was quickly squelched. "I'm not interested-"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry," he quickly interrupted. He hadn't been able to help himself, but such comments weren't helping him convince Jane. "I can show you anything that interests you. Anything you've wondered about. Anything I've told you about. Anything from your mythology book. Assuming it's actually true, that is." He went still for a moment. "Anything except the poem. Or…"

"It's okay," Jane said hurriedly, reaching out to give his hand a squeeze and in the end grasping his wrist instead. "I understand."

Loki nodded, and wondered if anything had ever felt quite so awkward as his wrist being held between Jane's fingers, whose warm light pressure he could feel through the thin Midgardian material of his cuff. Probably it had, but he couldn't think of anything at the moment. Finally she let go, and he took a step back, then a few more over to where the laptop sat on the table, to disguise the first.

"I don't know," Jane said, shaking her head. "We probably shouldn't do this at all. We shouldn't. The risks are-"

"Jane!" Loki exclaimed, not quite at a shout. Still, he made sure his voice was at a normal volume again when he continued. "Let it go, will you? You're utterly unbearable at times. You were only too eager to use Pathfinder to travel in the space axis. Did you trouble yourself then over who might object, or how it might change your realm, or the rest of the realms? It takes years to build a conventional portal between Asgard and Vanaheim. Centuries and vast amounts of energy to build one between Asgard and Alfheim. How long did it take you to build Pathfinder? Less than a year? If you built such a device with your Midgardian technology, do you not think the other realms could as well? That they might not be inspired by your initiative and forge their own direct links to Yggdrasil? We will keep this ability a secret when travelling in the time axis just as we have when travelling in the space axis. And we will keep our presence a secret just the same. No harm will come of it, just as no harm has come of any of my other test trips." He'd meant to say more, but when he reached the end and found it difficult to get the words out without showing the guilt he suddenly felt over lying to her about that one trip to New York, he decided to stop there. He had her attention. He needed her trust. It was unfortunate he was so entirely untrustworthy.

Jane thought about what Loki had said. "You're right," she said after a moment, though it wasn't easy to admit it. "I never thought about the consequences of using Pathfinder for travel to the other realms. And…I see your point. But please try to see mine, too, Loki. I still think the risk is greater with time travel."

"I will take care to mitigate every risk. We will merely collect our data, observe, and return home. I mean…here, of course."

Jane drew in a slow shaky breath. She had already see-sawed several times on this, and she could feel herself tipping again toward the less safe path. Less safe. But more knowledge. More… More of everything that began to well up inside her again and what were probably not the best arguments for doing this. More excitement. More adventure. More exploration. More discovery. More Asgard. More Thor. And more Loki. And as long as they took care not to interfere, not even to interact, everything should be fine. "No chaining me to a gate," she said with a lopsided smile, the decision made-but-not-made. She could still change her mind again.

"I would never do such a thing. Not again, anyway. I…I didn't realize at the time how dangerous that was for you."

Jane nodded, a little surprised at how seriously he'd treated her half-serious comment. She was pretty sure that was a better apology than he'd given her at the time when he'd come back and found her virtually swooning with heat and dehydration.

"What are you thinking? What would you like to see?"

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head.

A slight tension eased its way out of Loki. She hadn't yet told him she'd agreed to this, but her reaction just now told him that in spirit she had already acquiesced.

"Oh! The time travel play you and Thor performed when you were kids. What about that? That would be ironic, huh?"

Loki narrowed his eyes, thinking back to what he recalled of the day. It would be awkward. He wasn't sure he wanted to sit there watching Odin grow angrier while his younger self performed the drama with enthusiasm, ignorant of Odin's reaction until it was over. "Difficult," he finally said. "That or any other drama. We didn't perform them for the whole of Asgard. Only the tutors and Odin and Frigga, when they could come. Occasionally a few others. We would be noticed."

"I thought you were going to make us invisible. Like when we were on Asgard."

"Invisibility isn't easy. It would be difficult to maintain it for so long for both of us, and we wouldn't want to risk a mistake. We'll simply disguise ourselves." Magic didn't quite work that way, of course, but Jane didn't need to know how hampered he was in his use of magic, and he didn't want to be even further hampered because of making himself and Jane invisible on Asgard.

"With what, exactly? I left my high-class Asgardian wardrobe back in New Mexico, and just going by the way you and Thor dress, I'm guessing jeans and sneakers and flannels and cardigans aren't exactly in style there now. Or at any period in Asgard's history."

"I wouldn't know about fashion 'at any period in Asgard's history.' But I suspect you're correct. I'll deal with that, though. I have things I can wear, and I can create something for you."

"Really?" Jane asked, smile slowly growing into a grin.

"Yes, really." Though he would still pay for it with lost magic. He supposed he could also steal something, once they got to Asgard, but Jane would not approve, and would probably consider it interfering. He would keep her garments simple, the changes few, and avoid the risk of invisibility failing at some inopportune moment.

"Are you going to change the way we look? Because that would be kind of creepy, but…what if we accidentally run into somebody who knows one of us?"

"Precisely how many Asgardians do you know? It won't be a problem. And I know how to keep my face in shadow."

"All right…but…"

"No more buts. What do you want to see?"

"In the last thousand years? Loki, how should I know? I don't know anything about Asgardian history. Okay, you told me a little about the Ice War, but I don't particularly want to watch a war."

"That war wasn't fought in Asgard, anyway. And stepping into the middle of it would likely result in your death. Does your philosophy have a paradox named for that?"

Jane shook her head, eyes closed for a moment. "I don't know. But yeah, I'd prefer not to die a thousand years in the past. Or, you know, in general."

"I know. I could take you to the day Thor was to have been made king. The throne room was packed. We could easily blend into the crowd." And you could see what an arrogant fool he is, this man you were so drawn to a scant few days later.

"No," she said, noticing the sly look that had come over Loki's face. "I don't want to do anything that's like…spying on anybody."

"There were thousands of people, Jane. It was a public event. It would hardly be spying."

"I said no. Look…I know there's stuff between you and Thor, okay? But please don't drag me into it."

"Fine," Loki said, looking away. "Well, what then? Sparring competitions? No, of course that wouldn't interest you. Special market days? There's always the Victory Day celebrations, they were biggest when I was a boy. There are other festival days, and…"

"And what?" Jane prompted after a moment. Victory Day on Asgard. Magic fireworks? Her eyebrows went up then, remembering that Victory Day was Loki's birthday. "Maybe we could see Victory Day. Something happy would be good."

"No. Victory Day was tiresome. You wanted to see Thor and me perform a skit?"

"Well…only if we can do it without-"

"Without interfering, yes, I know, I heard you the first hundred times. I can't show you that. But I could show you another performance."

"Is it supposed to make Thor look bad?"

"He manages to do that often enough without any assistance, but no, it isn't. We were young then."

Jane nodded. She wondered what "young" meant to Loki. "What do you have in mind?"

Loki began to smile. He'd thought he wouldn't have a chance to do this. "Jane…do you think you could trust me in this? I realize that is no small request, but…I would like to surprise you. I believe you'll enjoy it."

Butterflies danced in Jane's stomach…hopefully not preceding a hurricane. Her trust in Loki had taken a dive. He'd lied about Pathfinder, and about the orange, and about the weird questions to Wright about Frederick, and whatever else she wasn't thinking of at the moment that he'd lied to her about recently. But even if in the end she couldn't agree with his conclusions about changing history, she couldn't deny that his intentions had been good, not evil as he'd accused her of thinking, and certainly hadn't been meant to hurt her. She wanted to trust him. And maybe he needed someone to trust him. Still…she needed a little more. "Do you swear you aren't going to make any attempt to change anything in history, and that you'll do your best to avoid doing so?"

"I swear," Loki said. He didn't mind the question. Jane wasn't a fool. In her place, he wouldn't trust him either.

"Okay. I'll do it." God, I hope I don't regret this.

"Good. You should prepare the probe, whatever parts of it you wish to bring." You won't regret this, Jane. I hope.

"That won't take long. After all the work we put in on them before, I know those things in my sleep, and one of them's already in pieces, the one we cannibalized for the parts we needed for travel."

"Good. It won't take me long to reprogram Pathfinder, either. I'll get started now."

"Wait…what do you mean, now?"

"I didn't realize there was anything unclear about the word," Loki said with a smirk. Does she think we're going to do this next week?

"But…we can't just…"

"Why not?"

"You were going to tell me about your other time travel trips," Jane said, though it was in part a stall.

"I was?" Loki asked with his most innocent smile.

"Yes, you were!" Jane exclaimed, more frustrated than angry. This was all so sudden. She felt like she was being pulled along somewhere that despite her agreement she still wasn't entirely sure she wanted to go, or, more accurately, somewhere she should go.

"All right. I can tell you about it on Asgard. The scenery is much more pleasant, and the sun is shining. And there are trees and flowers and grass." And I'm not giving you time to change your mind.

Jane actually sighed with pleasure at the image. Grass. She'd never paid any attention to grass before, never owned her own place to worry about a yard. She'd lamented grass stains on a new pair of jeans once when playing – or trying to play – Ultimate Frisbee with Don and his friends. The field of grass in her mind now was emerald green and soft as cotton and vibrant and warm with life.

Loki watched Jane and studied her clothing. Changing Carhartts and flannel and bunny boots into Asgardian attire was doable, but it would be easier if he could start with something more similar. "When you're done with the probe, go back and get that black gown you wore at the sunset dinner. And do you have shoes with tall heels, other than those stick-thin ones on the black shoes?"

"Um, yeah," Jane said, thrown for a moment by the change in topic. "I have a pair of boots with some thicker heels. They don't exactly match the black dress, though."

"Doesn't matter. I'll change the dress, and they'll mostly be hidden. But you'll need the extra height. Asgardian women don't typically come in your size."

"Are you taking me to a dinner party?" Jane asked, too curious about the dress to give more than a flicker of thought to how they were supposed to go unnoticed at a dinner party.

"No."

"How far in the past?"

Loki grinned. "You weren't born yet."

"Like that narrows it down."

"Your vocabulary has gaps, Jane. First 'now,' then 'surprise.'"

Jane stared at Loki a moment longer, then went over to the crate alongside the jamesway's side wall and pulled out the disassembled probe from its sealed packaging. Please, please don't let this be the worst mistake I've ever made.

/


/

Loki stood in his room, staring at Jane's gown. It looked absolutely tiny laid across his bed. He supposed he'd gotten used to her size, but seeing her clothing like this, without her in it, made it stand out to him again.

He didn't know anything about Asgardian fashion over the millennia, as he'd told Jane, or Asgardian women's fashion in general, but he knew no woman in his lifetime had ever worn something quite like this. It was far too short, too simple, too solidly black. Too boring for Asgard. Figuring out what to do about it was more of a challenge than he'd expected. A "typical" Asgardian woman had rarely been much a part of his life. Sif was fond of leather and metal and coarse durable cloth – though no one who saw her would ever mistake her for a man. Maeva, too, favored leather, with finer touches of metal. Servants dressed for their work. Eir dressed in the simplest beige garments, often covered with a blue apron. Frigga wore gowns, but his task was to make Jane blend in, and modeling her clothing on that of Asgard's queen would not exactly be helpful in that regard.

He decided on lengthening the gown's skirt – not easy since it meant thinning out the material – changing the color, and transforming the scarf he'd bought in Sydney and never had the opportunity to wear into something appropriate for Jane. He had her shoes here as well – they went only up to the ankle, where they would fit loosely and provide no protection at all, but at least the heel looked somewhat solid. The length of the gown would have to be perfect, long enough to cover the so-called boots but not so long that Jane would trip over it.

He frowned at the black material. Three separate uses of magic that would be punished. With extra effort, he thought with a grimace since using magic at all now required extra effort, he could change the length and the color of the gown at the same time, as part of the same transformation. And he supposed he could skip the scarf; it wasn't entirely necessary.

Next, he had to actually choose a color. He couldn't help thinking first of green. The image of it gave him a rush of power and possession…and Jane would look good in green, he thought. A fern green, perhaps. Even a pattern of ferns in the material. He thought she might like it. But he quickly rejected the idea. If she realized green was his color, she might not appreciate him clothing her in it.

He settled on a pale dusty rose, to which he decided to try to add a darker accent at the waist. He thought about it beforehand, visualizing exactly what he needed to do, exactly how he needed to change the particles that formed the dress, then took a deep breath and began. He concentrated so hard that when it was done, he stood there staring at it utterly stunned, for no punishment had come.

Loki didn't want to waste time – he wanted to take this trip with Jane today, as soon as possible – but this mystery was worth a delay. Oh Father Dear, is it too late to absolutely insist on that manual now? It really seems only fair. Although you were never all that concerned with fair, were you? He reached out and brushed his fingers across the fabric, a bit thinner now than before, but fine for their purposes. The length should be right, the color was just what he'd intended, the band of darker rose was there at the fitted waist. What is the difference? he asked himself. Because it's for Jane, and not for me? But it was for him, in the end, as much as it was for Jane. It wouldn't do for either of them to receive undue attention, and since Jane would be at his side, if someone questioned her then he would be at risk as well. And he'd been punished before for trying to hide himself from the Einherjar, when he went through the hidden portal to Svartalfheim.

I'm not trying to change anything. Is that it? He'd meant his oath to Jane. He didn't even intend to interact with anyone…except for in one particular thing he wanted to do. If that was correct, then he'd been punished for making himself invisible before trying to stop himself from killing Baldur precisely because he'd wanted to change something. He would gladly have paid that price had he actually succeeded. In his mind he saw Baldur stumbling and falling into the lavender again. He refocused his eyes on the gown, and tried to refocus his thoughts as well. The scarf should be no problem.

/


/

Jane shivered impatiently in the jamesway. She'd taken off her overalls and was down to street clothes with long johns underneath, which had been fine for the first fifteen minutes, but the temperature here was just below freezing and she was underdressed. And annoyed. In the excitement and nerves and constant cycle of self-doubt, she'd forgotten about the password on her laptop. When she'd gone over to it to check Loki's programming – in particular the date and time he'd entered as their destination – she'd been swiftly reminded of it.

It hadn't taken her long to get back out here. She'd gone back to her room and grabbed her boots and the all-purpose black dress – a really weird combination but it wasn't like she'd ever seen an Asgardian show up in Ralph Lauren – and delivered it to Loki in his room. She'd wanted to watch him do the magic, but he'd refused.

Just as she was thinking of checking on him with the radio, the door swung open and Loki stepped in, his satchel slung over his chest as it always was, and looking less flat than it usually did. In fact, it looked bigger than it usually did. A trick of the eye, or magic? she wondered.

Loki took off the satchel and set it down on the table. He took out the gown and scarf and handed them to Jane. "Put this on."

"Okaaay," Jane said slowly, holding the cloth gingerly. There was way more material there than what she'd given him. And way more color. She glanced behind her, gave Loki a nervous smile, then shrugged out of the jacket she'd put back on and went back to one of the curtained-off little bedrooms to change. When she found the bodice of the dress amidst all the extra material, it was recognizably hers – the cut at the top was unchanged, sleeveless, a modest scoop at the neck hooked together with a gold clasp, and below that a two-inch slit. Beyond that, nothing looked the same. Doubts again giving way to eagerness, Jane shimmied out of her clothes as quickly as she could, then carefully stepped into the altered dress and reached behind her to zip it up. It was a little long, but should be fine once she had her boots on. She made a face at the thought of the boots. They were old, and meant for practical purposes like walking around a city in comfort with a bit of added height. They did not belong with this dress.

Because the dress was beautiful. Jane had never been much for pink, but it wasn't a pink-pink, more of a rose quartz color, pale, and with some kind of swirling floral pattern pressed into the silk – silk? – if she looked closely enough. At the waist was a swath of a brighter pink accent. Then there was the shawl. It still felt like silk, but the material was a little weightier, the same pale rose quartz as the gown but with extensive swirling green, a vine from which bloomed flowers the same shade as the band at the waist.

She slipped her thermal socks back on and wrapped the shawl around her, then left the other clothes on the bed, hiked up the skirt so she wouldn't trip, and ran out to the open front area of the jamesway.

"Loki, this is really amazing," she said, finding him stepping out of his own overalls. Underneath he wore one of his Asgardian shirts, a dark gray one with what looked like stitching over a spot in the chest, and his black leather pants. "I can't believe you did this."

Loki forgot the Carhartts pooled around his feet and stared. Amazing indeed, he thought, swallowing hard. She was beautiful, a work of art, in his work of art. He averted his eyes then, glancing down and noticing the overalls, then stepped out of them and bent over to pick them up. That is Jane Foster. Mortal. His Jane Foster. Her loyalty lies with him. What are you doing looking at her that way? He folded the Carhartts and set them on the table, telling himself it was only natural, he was a man, and she was a far more beautiful woman than he'd ever given her credit for, and he was alone, and everyone needed someone, and… I do not need her. Certainly not like that. When he finally looked up at her again, he gave her a cool smile. "Usually when someone says that to me, it means I've just destroyed a realm, or at least attempted to conquer one." It worked. Jane would never accept a jest about such things. Her expression changed immediately, smile falling away, eyes losing their warmth, that look of what he could almost – if he allowed himself to engage in a bit of fantasy – call adoration that lit up her face fading away.

"Please don't make light of things like that, Loki. People died."

"I'm aware. Your shoes," he said, reaching down to pick them up from the floor where he'd left them and holding them out. He'd succeeded in cooling things off, but he'd been rather more successful than he'd intended, he realized.

Jane stepped forward awkwardly, still hiking up the dress, and took the boots. They were now covered in a fine gold mesh that made the entire shoe look gold. She stepped around the table and pulled out one of the chairs, gathering up the skirt to make sure it didn't brush the floor, then sat and started tugging on the boots. They went a little past her ankles now and fit a little more snugly to her leg. She stood and twirled, looking down. The skirt flared a bit, and while it felt strange to be wearing her old boots with this incredible new dress, it really didn't look too bad. The boots were barely even visible.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Loki said. Not that much, anyway.

She looked back up at him and nodded, more in simple acknowledgement than out of any kind of understanding. She didn't want to brush under the proverbial rug what he'd done, she didn't want to avoid it necessarily, but she didn't want to browbeat him over it, or hear him speak crassly about it, either, and now just wasn't the time to get into it again. Maybe it never would be, though that was hard to imagine. At the moment, it felt like the elephant in the room.

"One more thing," he said, reaching into his satchel. It crossed his mind that it might be a good idea to go back to a few minutes ago and prevent himself from opening his mouth, which had gotten too clever for its own good. "Here."

Jane looked at the short gold tube-like things on his palm. "What are they?"

"Bracers. Very simple ones. There's a clasp here," he said, turning one of them over and pointing to the side. "Hold out your wrists."

She did so, but when he opened the first one and began to fit it over her wrist she jerked both arms away. "Put your palm against the knob," he'd said before handcuffing her to the gate on the bridge. "Do I have to wear them?"

"Of course not. But you'll look more Asgardian with them on. They're commonly worn. They can be made of metal or leather, often with other cloth worked under and through them for comfort or simply for style. They can be short like these, or go up almost all the way to the elbow. They can be carved with intricate patterns, and they can include sheaths for knives. They protect your wrist and forearm, in case you need to engage in battle," he added with a grin, hoping Jane would relax a little again. He did want her to enjoy this.

Jane realized that yes, she'd seen Thor and Loki both in something like that, but theirs had been bigger and actually looked like part of their armor. These looked more delicate, closer to overgrown bracelets. When she looked more closely, she saw the same pattern in the fabric of her dress repeated in the metal. "Do my wrists need protecting?"

"I hope not," Loki answered, his smile coming of its own accord now. "These are just for show. They're made from Midgardian metal and wouldn't do much good against an Asgardian weapon. Which you are highly unlikely to encounter pointed in your direction," he hastened to add when Jane again looked nervous and opened her mouth to speak. "Asgard is at peace in the time we're visiting."

"Okay, that's good. Peace is good," Jane said, holding out her wrists again and letting Loki snap the bracers into place. They were kind of pretty, though they felt restrictive in a way she wasn't used to.

"Go ahead and put in the equipment you want to take," Loki said as he reached into his satchel and pulled out the worn charcoal gray cloak he'd stolen on an earlier trip to Asgard. No one would recognize Jane; with himself he had to be more careful.

Jane looked at the satchel which appeared to have shrunk again, shook her head, and went to get the components she'd laid out earlier and packed into a box perhaps half the overall size of the probe, cushioning it with custom foaming material SHIELD had provided to help protect her sensitive instruments during travel. She felt Loki's eyes on her as she slid it into the satchel.

"Get Big Red on, and whatever else you want. You can take it off when we get there. There'll be a place to leave it."

"I can't believe I'm really doing this," Jane said mostly to herself as she pulled the insulated jacket on over her bare arms. Her feet and legs would suffer, but they would be outside for no more than about a minute. Loki handed her the devices to slip onto her wrists over the bracers and jacket and gloves, put two RF switches into his satchel and closed it up, then put his own set of devices onto his wrists.

They hurried out to Pathfinder, Jane's heart about to beat out of her chest in excitement with a strong undercurrent of nerves, and her legs burning from cold.

Loki pressed the button; Jane gulped. No turning back now. Five seconds.

"Is anyone expecting you anywhere today?"

"What?" Jane asked, glancing up quickly at Loki. They stood on either side of Pathfinder facing each other at an angle, both of them keeping their structural integrity field generators in contact with the stand. "Um, no."

"Good," Loki said with a smile.

Jane had just enough to time for a flash of worry at that before something tugged at her stomach and Antarctica disappeared.

/


Guesses? It's probably not guessable actually. I feel like I was going to (attempt to) say something clever here, but as usual it's the wee hours of the morning when I'm posting this and I'm beat. Those who follow my profile update section for Beneath, though, now you probably know why I was so looking forward to the next chapter. Jane is maybe not making the wisest decision here (and she has that nagging thought herself), but it's changing the timeline she was so opposed to, not really time travel per se, just that it's difficult (impossible?) to guarantee that time travel won't result in some changes. Loki, king of impure motives, knows exactly what to say to get Jane onboard. That is, when he's not actively sabotaging himself. ;-) Yeah, the tireder I am, the more I ramble.

Continued thanks to all readers still onboard this train, to reviewers (I still have a few of you to get back to from the last chapter!), favoriters and followers...thank you thank you thank you.

Teasers for Ch. 97 "Harvest": Yep, Jane finally gets to see Asgard, and there are some familiar faces around. And ninepen kind of has a blast. (Actually I kind of hate saying stuff like that, because I immediately think, oh, no, everyone else will hate it! Ha.)

And excerpt:

"Keep moving, Jane. It's a lovely view but Asgardians don't stop and stare at it," Loki said, words colored with light sarcasm, having stopped a few paces ahead of her when he realized she'd fallen still. She nodded and fell into step beside him again, eyes still fixed ahead of her. Loki tried to see it through her eyes. He couldn't do it. For him those buildings, especially the tallest one with its tiered spires, spoke of lies and betrayal and rejection. He fixed his gaze instead on the empty road before them. It wouldn't be empty for long; soon they would reach intersections that would begin funneling them to their destination, along with everyone else who wasn't already there. "You are Asgardian. Your name is Jana. Mine is Lakmund. Hopefully it won't matter. And it would be best if you don't speak to anyone."

"Neither of us is speaking to anyone. No interfering."

"Were you aware that I know some very simple magic for ensuring you're unable to open your mouth?"

(Bonus points to you if you recognize that reference!)