Beneath

Chapter One Hundred Forty-Two – Exposure

"Loki really assisted you with your investigations?" Frigga asked inside the small, cluttered, and frankly unpleasant space where, according to Jane, Loki had worked alongside her, as her assistant. It was inside the Dark Sector Lab, and Jane had just pointed out a few things of note, including where she sat and where Loki sat, when they worked from out here. The rooftop, where the enormous telescope and all the other smaller devices that Jane said she'd created herself stood, had been a much more impressive location, especially once Jane had given her an overview of the types of investigations she performed with this equipment. The views of the other buildings and the stark landscape were grand. Inside, though, cramped and utilitarian as the space was, it felt far more personal, more intimate. Jane's space was a bit messy, less so than her sleeping chambers; Loki's was perfectly neat and organized. She tried to picture him sitting there, fingers learning to use that keyboard, poring over the information on the machine, all under the direction of a mortal, whose kind he'd expressed complete disdain for to Thor. The image did not come easily.

Jane looked back at Loki's desk, random memories of working out here with him flickering through her mind. Moments of tension, moments of humor, moments of discovery. Granola bars and e-mailed videos. In some strange way, it all seemed very distant now. There was something sad in that that Jane decided not to dwell on. "Yeah. Looking back to the early days, it was hard for him. Pretending to be an assistant to an inferior mortal on a backwater planet and all."

Frigga grimaced. It was the least of Loki's wrongs, but it was still embarrassing to hear. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't apologize. It's not your fault."

"It may be, actually, to some extent. Both of my boys were raised around power and privilege, and we tried to make sure they didn't grow arrogant and abuse it. But sometimes we were too…permissive with them, I suppose. We weren't entirely successful," she said with a rueful smile. "And as for "inferior mortals" and a 'backwater planet'…did Loki actually use those words?" Frigga thought she probably knew the answer.

"He wasn't exactly shy about his opinions in that regard."

"I don't know if you heard my remarks in New York…"

"No, I…I missed it." I wasn't here, she'd started to say.

"Well, as I admitted there, Asgard has not viewed Midgard with the respect it deserves. So some of that is Loki's upbringing, I'm sorry to say, but I'm sure some of it also stems from…how angry he's been lately," Frigga said, gaze drifting down to Loki's Midgardian desk.

"Since he found out he was adopted?"

Frigga's eyes snapped back to Jane's. Over a thousand years a secret, to hear it spoken of so casually, in an open environment… It was a shock. She wondered then if Jane were merely guessing, and was uncertain how to answer. The engrained instinct to protect their family secret was strong. "He told you he was adopted?" she finally asked, confirming nothing.

Jane nodded, noting with surprise how Frigga's expression had instantly changed when she mentioned adoption. It made her wonder if Loki had been lying when he'd said there was no stigma attached to it in Asgard. "Is that when it started? When he changed? Thor told me he found out something…but he didn't say what." Something that convinced him he was second-best, Jane remembered Thor saying. Because he found out he wasn't born the son of the king, she assumed now.

"Yes," Frigga whispered, the need for pretense – this part of it, at least – gone. "He was struggling even before then, more than I realized at the time. He always knew Thor would be king, but it wasn't easy for him to watch it happening. He was tense, moody. But he was still my boy." She stopped then, blinking a few times, disturbed by her choice of wording. "I don't mean to say that he's not now. He is. It's just that afterward…he acted so differently that at times it was as though I didn't know him. But he will always be my boy."

"I know."

"Does Loki?"

Jane's heart ached at Loki's mother asking that, when she knew that Loki had wrestled with exactly that question. She also knew the conclusion he'd come to, but she had to think for a moment about how best to answer. "That's a conversation you should have with Loki," she finally said. "But I know that he loves you very much."

Frigga nodded; she was glad to hear it. Loki at least still knew he had her. But he'd had her before, right after Thor brought him back from Midgard – he'd said nothing but to call her 'Mother,' and she'd understood the significance of that, especially once Thor explained that Loki had insisted Thor was not his brother. He'd had her, but he hadn't been willing to talk to her or listen to her, or to accept what she tried to tell him. She hadn't been enough. Her stomach tightened again at the thought of what Odin might be saying to him. Or shouting at him. What they might be shouting at each other.

"I just don't understand why it was that terrible for him to find out he was adopted. I mean…I get that it would be a shock. And it would be upsetting, to find out something like that, something so…fundamental about yourself, just out of the blue like that. But he tried to take over a whole planet. And to destroy another one. That's just…it's really out of proportion. Thor said he never did stuff like that before."

"He was badly hurt. And he channeled it all into anger. Loki's knowledge, and magic, and access to power gave him the ability to do a great deal of damage. And then Thor was put in the terrible position of having to stop his own brother from committing such acts. Thankfully he did, though for many it was too late."

"I understand why he wanted Midgard," Jane said, then hesitated for a moment, because Frigga didn't know about Thanos. If Loki wouldn't tell his family about him, then Jane thought she should, regardless of what Loki wanted, but she figured it could wait. "Thor made a commitment to protect Earth, so Loki thought taking it for himself would be a great way to spite Thor. But he's totally irrational when he talks about Jotunheim. He just hates them. He said everyone hates them. Is that true?"

"It's, ah," Frigga began, stumbling for words, suddenly feeling very hot, though they'd removed their coats and other items. "It's not an uncommon sentiment. Unfortunately," she added, rubbing her hands lightly together.

"Because of the Ice War? Against Asgard? It was so long ago but to listen to Loki you'd think it just happened. I mean, you should have heard how he talked about Jotunheim. It was awful. And one of those times when he really scared me. The things he said, the way he said them…" Jane watched as Frigga rubbed her palms again then tugged at the collar of Jane's flannel shirt and undid the top button. This was as uncomfortable as she'd ever seen the queen. And Jane had maybe said a little more than she meant to about Loki.

"Perhaps we should return," Frigga said. "It makes me a nervous to leave the two of them alone for so long.

"Okay," Jane agreed, thoughts still lingering on the mystery of Jotunheim which Frigga apparently wasn't going to fill her in any further on.

"Will you tell me more about these games Loki has been playing with the others here?" Frigga asked as they were bundling up again, in part to change the subject but also because she was genuinely curious.

"Sure," Jane said with a smile. She didn't think Loki would object to that.

/


/

Eir was already waiting for them when Jane and Frigga made it back to the jamesway. Selby was fine, alert but tired, nervous around Eir. Nora had asked about the healing stones; Jane perked up at that and asked what Eir had told her. The stones, it turned out, were made of a special porous clay dug from the bed of one particular lake, then were baked in a magic fire. So, basically, magic, Jane thought. She imagined Nora was disappointed. Earth had plenty of types of mud and clay. Magic fire, not so much.

At the door of the jamesway, Jane could hear nothing but Frigga told her she could make out voices. While they waited, Jane told Frigga and Eir more about life at the South Pole, and they in turn asked questions. Jane figured at the moment they were both more interested in what was going on behind that door, but the light conversation passed the time and the topic was safe.

Some fifteen minutes later, just as Jane was beginning to shift on her feet to get her blood pumping in the settling cold, her eyes were drawn upward by a streak of white light piercing the dark, ending somewhere close, behind the jamesway.

Frigga, back to the jamesway, turned to follow Jane's eyes. "That's the Tesseract," she said, moving toward where their small group had arrived earlier.

"Mother," Jane heard Thor say as she hurried behind Frigga.

"What happened?" Frigga asked, going right to her son and brushing her covered fingers over his stained hair.

"Fire Giant. He took the worst of it, though. But what is this? You look…strange. Jane?" he said, only then realizing that she stood behind his mother.

Jane smiled and came up beside Frigga.

"What I look is warm. This clothing is remarkably effective."

It was quite a strange sight, not only seeing his mother dressed as not even Midgardians normally dressed, but looking like a taller mirror image of Jane. It was nice, in a way he couldn't immediately identify. He had come here for a purpose, though, and didn't linger on it. "I need to speak with Father. There's been a development."

"He's still talking with Loki," Frigga said. "Ever since he regained consciousness."

"Talking?"

"So it seems."

Thor nodded, somewhat surprised. "I suppose that's a good sign."

"I hope so," Frigga said with a nod. "I'll go check on them. You've given me the excuse I needed," she added, squeezing a hand over his forearm.

"Hi," Jane said, awkwardness returning. Someday, someday, she would spend some normal time with him, normal conversation, no wars or injuries or damaged buildings or unavoidable impending departures or destroyed bridges. Someday. Not today.

"A moment alone at last."

Jane nodded, looking up at him, and then he closed the short distance between them and wrapped his arms around her, and she relaxed against his chest, a big, strong, comforting source of warmth. It's impossible not to feel safe in his arms, she thought. "You're back a lot sooner than I expected," she said, straining her neck upward, but this close to him she couldn't see past his bearded chin to his eyes.

"Sooner than I expected, too." It felt like a dream, holding Jane like this after so long, just the two of them, after so much violence and death. For that moment at least, Asgard felt just as far away as it truly was. Of course, it couldn't last, and when he felt Jane start to pull away he resisted, squeezing her to him for another few seconds before letting her step back.

"So…Fire Giant, huh?" she said, backing off enough to reach up and rest a mittened hand against his cheek. Other than the dried blood in his hair, there was no sign of injury.

"It shouldn't have happened," he said, taking Jane's hand and wrapping it in his. "I was distracted. A beginner's mistake."

"Because of Loki?"

"Mostly," Thor agreed, drawing closer to Jane again and kissing her. It was a brief, light kiss – the temperature made it seem the wiser option – a soft caress of her lips, then her eyelids, the only other part of her skin that was exposed.

Jane gave a sigh of contentment, pressed her head against his chest again for a moment, then reached for both of his hands.

"I've missed you so much, Jane. This war, the political machinations behind it…it's been more of a burden than I ever imagined. So many have died. Every day is a struggle. I've seen nothing like it in all my years. I'm glad you've been here, far away from all that, but I've also longed to have you with me. In moments of solitude, I've thought of you and found a measure of comfort in it."

"I've missed you, too. I've been worried." He would never know – not from her, anyway – of the danger he'd been in that had nothing to do with the war.

"I wish I'd known that I needed to be worried about you."

"I'm sorry. I really am. I knew you'd be upset when you found out Loki was here."

"That's an understatement," Thor said, glancing away from Jane to the tent where Loki was, just a few feet away. "It was my worst fear come true. I had hoped that being away from Asgard for a while, with a chance to get to know some of the people he'd tried to subjugate, would be good for him. But the last thing I wanted was for him to pursue you. It was also the one thing I thought I would not be able to forgive him for."

"Don't hold it against him, please. He's…in a different place now than he was then. You know, I remember when you told me about the brother you loved, and to be honest at the time I thought you were…kind of naïve, I guess. But I know what you meant now. It has been hard sometimes, dealing with him and his issues and all the secrecy, but I like him. I mean that. He's become a good friend. So don't be mad at him, okay?"

"I'll try," he said after a moment. It wasn't easy to let that go. Loki had tricked Jane, lied to her, taken advantage of her kindness, used it against her…when her sole "offense" was that Thor cared for her deeply.

"It was me he came after, Thor," she said, watching the doubt and indecision play across his face. "If anybody's going to hold a grudge, it's me. And I'm not. I've forgiven him."

"All right," he said after another pause. "I'll try hard. I'm glad that all is well now. I'm glad that you became friends." The words felt strange in the formation and sounded even stranger once voiced, but they were true, he thought. At the very least, he was relieved that Jane had not remained Loki's enemy. "I only wish the circumstances had been different."

Jane relaxed into a smile and light laugh. "I can't disagree there."

"Jane?"

"Hm?"

"Have I told you yet how much I've missed you?"

Jane grinned and let Thor envelop her in his arms again.

/


/

Neither Odin nor Loki spoke for a while, Loki dizzy, catching his breath, cradling in his lap the injured wrist he'd grabbed onto the bed so hard with, and Odin wondering if he'd gone too far, having intended to remain calm and not lose his temper, no matter how much Loki attempted to provoke him.

"Mother spoke those same words to me, you know," Loki said, settled back on the small bare mattress again, once his breathing was slow and steady again. "'Asgard belongs to you. Asgard is yours.' If Asgard belongs to me and I have nothing to prove, then why I am lying here and Thor has the throne?" he asked facetiously. "I never willingly gave it up."

Odin shook his head minutely, unable to understand how two people related through a thousand years of familial bonds no different from blood could see a set of events so incredibly differently. "You willingly gave it up when you let go of Gungnir. You willingly gave up everything, not just the throne. Your own life."

"And yet you tell me it's all still mine," Loki said, ignoring Odin's last words. He meant the words to sound cold, derisive. Yet to his own ears they merely sounded tired. He couldn't even look Odin in the eye now.

"All except the throne, yes. You had it for only a few days. And in that brief time you used the Destroyer to try to kill your brother while leaving the Ice Casket and everything else in the Weapons Vault without its last line of defense, you lured a foreign king to Asgard in order to kill him in a way which was incompatible with any form of honorable war that I ever taught you, while putting my life and your mother's and frankly the whole of Asgard at great risk, and then you attempted to obliterate an entire world."

"I've always valued efficiency," Loki said, somewhat distracted. Hearing it all laid out succinctly like that…he had been busy. He hadn't slept at all. He'd tried, the second night, but quickly took to stalking the halls and then standing out on a balcony overlooking the city, as though if he let it out of his sight for a moment it would rebel against him and he would lose control. And of course, that was exactly what had happened.

"This is no jest, Loki. I'm sorry you found out the way you did. I wish I had known what to say then. I wish I'd had time to say it."

Loki thought back over what Odin had said, but at the moment he found he could not escape his very last words. "I learned efficiency from you, I think. In the end, you knew exactly what to say in just two words." With that he met Odin's gaze again, and was somewhat surprised to see a drooping of the face there that made him think his own words had wounded.

"There are moments in life," Odin said after a long silence, "that no matter how long you live, you never forget. Moments you badly wish life would somehow give you a second chance with. After you let go…I thought those would be the last words I ever spoke to you. It wasn't a time for talking, not with you and Thor both hanging over Yggdrasil. I wanted you to come back up. We could have tried to talk then, I suppose…but that didn't happen. I wished I'd said something else. Even lied to you, told you I was pleased with what you'd done, anything to get you safely back on the bifrost. I was-"

"I'm sorry to have been such a disappointment to you," Loki interrupted. "But it really shouldn't be much of a surprise. You should have known what you were getting into, all those years ago."

"No, Loki," Odin said, pausing to swallow over his realization that he'd just repeated the two words they were speaking of. "I wasn't disappointed. Not then. When you brought chaos and carnage to Midgard, yes, I was disappointed, and more. But you're my son. And you thought that you had to destroy worlds to prove it."

Just one, really, Loki thought but refrained from saying, not wanting to give Odin the idea that any such childish desperation still burned in him.

"That's not quite true, actually. I was disappointed then. Afterward, when there was time to think. Too much time to think. When your mother cried herself to sleep, and your brother looked as alone in a crowd as I've ever seen him. I was disappointed in myself. That I had not been the kind of father to you that…" He fell silent, struggling with the words. Words that were among the most vexsome and recalcitrant he'd ever had to speak. "The kind of father that made you feel secure enough to know that you didn't have-"

A knock came at the door. Odin hung his head. "Yes," he called. It wasn't as though he'd found the perfect words to say then, either. And while Loki looked somewhat subdued – in the sense that he'd become quieter and less combative – his expression was unreadable and Odin wasn't sure he'd made any headway at all. Just as well they were interrupted, he supposed.

Loki was grateful for the interruption – he was worn out and didn't know what to do with an Odin suddenly trying to talk to him about fathers and sons – but he feared who might be at the door, who might see him in this condition. He was acutely aware of his bare chest and wished he had something to cover himself with. He was relieved to see his mother appear in the little vestibule. She had his other jacket on, "Lucas Cane" written on the lapel, and was in the process of pulling off a balaclava. "Your mother cried herself to sleep." He watched her smooth her hair and smile at him, and could neither speak nor even smile back.

"Is everything all right?" she asked, wondering what she'd interrupted. She hadn't heard anything outside, so she knew that if they were actually still talking, they were doing so quietly now.

Loki waited for Odin to answer, but he didn't. Frigga came to the bed and reached for his hand; he pulled it away. He was overwhelmed, uncertain, and trying very hard to stay calm. He didn't want her affection right now.

"Thor's returned," she said, turning to Odin.

"Already?" Odin asked as Loki's face turned stony.

"Something's happened on Asgard. He wants to talk to you."

Odin frowned over a tightened jaw. He had left Thor king; there was no need for his son to consult him. "We aren't done here. He can speak to his advisors."

She glanced down at Loki. "He said he needed to speak to you. And I imagine you and Loki could both use a break."

Loki listened and waited, eyes fixed again on the arched canvas ceiling. He wasn't sure whether to feel complimented or insulted that Odin was trying to put off Thor and stay here with him in order to wax philosophical about fatherhood and other things Loki had never heard him speak of before. He did know his mother was right, at least about him – he needed a break.

"All right," Odin relented. "I'll be there in a minute."

Frigga squeezed Loki's shoulder, then Odin's, then pulled the facemask back on and headed back out.

"You were saying how disappointed you were in yourself," Loki muttered once the door was closed.

Odin took a breath. There was only so far down that line he could go. If Loki were allowed to control this conversation, he would make it about everyone in the cosmos except himself. "I was saying that I have never been an ideal father. I know that. My father was a king as well, Loki. I know what that's like. And I know that my actions…or my inactions…contributed to where we now find ourselves. But you must take responsibility for your actions. Blaming me or Thor, turning your back on your family, your home…" Odin looked down at Loki looking back at him, his face giving nothing away. "You were not given a perfect life. No one is. But this is your life. Think what you will, but the mark on your wrist was meant to remind you of what is yours. Your life, your family, your home. I rejected your actions, not you. I was relieved beyond measure to learn you'd survived your fall. You were given a second chance after that, Loki. A second chance is not so unusual. But you were given even a third. We all were. What you make of it…is up to you."

"Is Loki well, Father?" Thor asked when Odin emerged.

I have no idea, Odin thought. "He is," he said. "Frigga said there is news from Asgard?"

"Yes. An unexpected reprieve."

Odin narrowed his eye. A reprieve, when our defeat appears inevitable? "What has happened?"

"Um, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go see Loki. I'm pretty sure you don't need me for this," Jane said.

Thor tensed immediately, before he could remind himself that things were not as he'd assumed, that Jane had befriended Loki and apparently he her, that she would be fine alone with him. He was still relieved when Eir said she would join her, to take care of Loki's wrist. He watched them go, hating that he could not yet follow. Hating that his duty required him to deal with his realm before his brother. He turned back to his father, who was looking a little impatient as he waited. "When I returned to Asgard, it was the same as ever – multiple battles in different locations," he began.

/


/

Loki was the same as when Jane had left him, except that his legs were a bit askew, feet no longer resting atop the blanket and Big Red. She waited off to the side while Eir went to him and immediately began repositioning his legs.

"Is that really still necessary?"

"You can test it if you like."

"All right. I believe I shall."

Jane watched; Loki had noticed her there, but beyond brief eye contact hadn't acknowledged her.

Loki swung his legs over the side of the bed and planted his feet without issue; sitting up brought another wave of dizziness, but nothing he couldn't cope with. He pushed up with his legs, waited a second, then gave Eir a smug grin. "See? I'm f-"

Eir reached out and caught Loki before he could pitch too far to the side.

Loki pushed her arms away as his surroundings came back into focus, and sank back down to the bed. He was grateful at least that he hadn't attempted that in front of Odin.

"Give it another few hours, Loki. Your body's been through a lot today. Your blood volume will replenish itself soon, but in the meantime it really is best that you lie down with your feet elevated, so that gravity helps the blood go where it's most needed."

"I'm aware of the basics of field medicine, Eir," Loki grumbled, twisting back around and letting Eir help lift and reposition his legs.

"You weren't acting like it, so I assumed you needed a reminder. I stand corrected, my prince."

Jane couldn't help a smile at that; Loki narrowed his eyes at her when he saw it.

He lay there in silence while Eir tended him; a few minutes later and the pain in his wrist was gone.

"It looks like you have a small scar here. You should have stayed longer in the Healing Room."

Loki followed where she pointed, the wound on the right side of his upper chest where he'd been stabbed with Brokk's dagger, the wound that resisted healing through magic. Eir, apparently, had heard all about his attempt to get it treated on Asgard. "It didn't seem a good idea at the time. And it's healed now, except for the scar. Something to address another day, perhaps," he said noncommittally.

"All right. Any other injuries or problems I should know about?" Eir asked.

He thought back, remembered having to pry his hands free from a steel column. He lifted both hands and looked at the palms. The shade of blue was the same as on the rest of this body; he had no idea if that was how they were supposed to look or not. He put them down, out of his field of vision. "I had frostbite on my hands. Ironic, isn't it? I don't know if it's already healed on its own or not."

Eir lifted one of his hands into her gloved ones and looked it over, pressing a finger into the tough flesh and then withdrawing it, then running a quick field scan of the tissue. "I confess I don't know, either. Did it hurt at all when I applied pressure?"

"No."

"Then I think we can address that later, as well. I apologize that I don't have a better answer."

Loki looked away, avoiding Jane's eyes. "It's not your fault," he said after a moment.

Eir gave him a stoic smile and a squeeze of his arm. "I've done all I can here, at least for the moment. I'm returning to Asgard, as soon as Heimdall can bring me back. Be well."

"Eir," Loki said as the healer turned to go. "I'm sorry. For being a poor patient." There was more he wanted to say, to express to her, but he still felt unsettled, and lurking on the edges of his thoughts was the knowledge that she had known the truth, she had to have known, from the very beginning, and despite all her claims of never lying to her patients, she had never said a word. Perhaps she'd been ordered not to, but that didn't change the fact that she'd known.

"No apologies are necessary. But thank you, all the same."

"Brokk?" Jane asked when Eir left.

He looked at her in confusion, but understood when he saw her looking at his shoulder. "Yes."

"And you actually went to a Healing Room after he stabbed you?"

"In disguise, yes. I had to abandon the idea when they tried to take me to see Eir."

"Not exactly afraid to take risks, are you?"

Loki managed a smile, but light banter with Jane was too much of a stretch for him at the moment.

Jane returned the smile. "So how are you? Not the wound, I mean, you look really good considering you were on death's door a few hours ago."

"I'm fine. My inability to stand up for more than a few seconds notwithstanding. How was the tour?"

"The tour was good. The DSL seems fine. A lot of the junk in the corridor got tipped over and knocked around. And I guess we'll have to wait and see whether the equipment's been damaged. Not the immediate priority, you know. And…if you don't want to talk about your dad, that's okay. But you can just say so."

"I wish you wouldn't call him that," Loki said with a sigh.

"It's what he is, isn't he?"

"Not really."

Jane frowned, swallowed, bit back the instinct to argue. Her issues were not Loki's, and she supposed she couldn't impose them on him…no matter how much she might like to. "If that's what you really want, okay."

Loki looked away. He couldn't muster the energy to actually care all that much. It was sort of quaint, really, Jane's persistence. He understood where it came from; they'd talked about it before. He thought perhaps he shouldn't try to take it away from her. "It doesn't matter," he finally said. "What did Thor want?"

"I don't really know. I figured they'd rather talk amongst themselves, and I'd rather check on you. Can I get you anything? Water maybe? I brought my bottle. And if you're hungry, I grabbed a couple of granola bars from my room, too."

"A shirt would be nice."

"Sorry. I should have thought of that."

"In that case, yes, water and a granola bar would be a welcome second choice." He watched as Jane left his bedside and went to the desk where they'd spent so much time together; her backpack was there on the floor. It was jarring, the intersection of these two lives of his, his past and his present. Not that arguing with his father – with Odin – or even standing up to him had ever been part of his life before. He might have been bold and daring in some aspects of his life, but with Odin he'd been reserved, respectful, even meek, afraid to push anything too far for fear of…something. Loss of whatever approval he'd managed to gain, he supposed. With nothing left to lose there, there was no reason to hold back.

Insults and taunts and goads had flowed freely.

It didn't feel as good as it did that day that Odin came to see him in his cell, the day he was unexpectedly released to Midgard. It didn't feel bad, either, but perhaps…less satisfying. And less effective. It was the anger, he realized then, as Jane returned to him with full hands. Odin had sought to portray calm that day, but he'd been angry, just as he said, and Loki had fed off of its energy. He'd been angry, disappointed, ashamed even. The First Magistrate had said that, during Loki's pointless appearances before him. "Your actions have brought shame to Asgard's throne." Loki had merely smirked in his continued silence; he was quite certain he'd not broken any actual law in that regard.

"Loki?"

"Sorry. Distracted."

"That's okay. I think you have a right to be distracted. So what's all that stuff on the table? And…on the floor over there? And on the other bed?" She'd forgotten about it until just now, having noticed all the things piled more or less neatly on the desk, then realizing that the floor which had been littered with who-knew-what including plenty of broken glass was now clear, and other piles of stuff had appeared elsewhere in the jamesway. "I saw the pens on the floor earlier. It's the stuff from your magic closet?"

Loki gave a short laugh. "From my magic closet, yes. The closet lost its magic, I suppose, and emptied itself out. There's no telling what you might find if you search through it."

A net, Jane saw, was folded up under Loki's bed, where she'd kicked his underwear earlier. "I bet. Here you go," she said, holding out first the Nalgene water bottle to him. "Oh…can you drink it? I wish I had a straw."

"I can sit up enough to drink. And if I pass out it'll be an easy fall," he said with a smile, holding out his hand and accepting the bottle. His blue hand. He'd actually forgotten. Completely, entirely forgotten. That was dangerous, but it had also been pleasant, and he would not begrudge himself that moment. Jane didn't look at him differently, and didn't speak to him differently. He pushed himself up onto his left elbow, getting his head up enough to drink, but when he lifted the bottle to his lips, he saw that patches of frost had formed where it touched his hand, and the water itself had a layer of ice on the top.

"Let me take it," Jane said when she realized what had happened, getting the bottle and shaking it to try to break up the ice. "I should have brought you a thermos of coffee. Your mother tried it, you know. She was polite but I don't think she liked it. Maybe she'd like it with milk better? We didn't have any milk. We got it from the Science Lab," Jane rambled. This was weird and Loki's smile, slight though it may have been, was gone. He looked disturbed. Uncomfortable. She couldn't blame him. She'd be uncomfortable too if she couldn't touch things without freezing them. "Maybe it'll work if I hold it," she said, wondering how long Loki was supposed to be stuck like this, unable to eat or drink normally.

Loki almost said "never mind," for he did not need anyone to feed him like a child, but this was not just anyone. From Jane he could accept it without either shame or resentment. He nodded, and somehow they worked out the angles and Loki managed to drink without freezing the water. He pulled back at the first taste, though – it had an odd, slightly sweet flavor. His sense of taste, he realized, must be different too, for Jane would not have given him bad water. He started to drink again, and Jane tipped the bottle higher for him.

"This is pretty inconvenient," Jane said, regarding the chilled water bottle with a frown when Loki was done drinking and had taken one of the granola bars. "Other liquids have lower freezing points than fresh water, so maybe you wouldn't freeze them, but still, this is ridiculous. You can't…" Jane twisted her head around to the left to gaze at the table, now piled with Loki's magic-closet junk, but she pictured it as it was months ago, just a couple of days after she'd found out what the rest of the Polies were now grappling with. Maybe you wouldn't freeze them…

"What?" Loki asked before trying a bite of the granola bar. He could see patches of frost on it but it wasn't frozen solid, and he had no problem chewing it. It didn't taste quite the way he recalled, but it didn't taste bad, either.

In her mind's eye, Jane saw herself and Loki sitting at that table, waiting for a program to improve infrared images that would turn out to be of Asgard. Listening to one of Loki's first rants. "Despicable. Hideous," he'd said. "They can make swords out of ice," he'd said. "They freeze anything they touch."

"Jane, is something-"

"He turned you into a Frost Giant?" Jane interrupted, turning abruptly back to Loki and looking closely at the differences in his facial features. This is what Frost Giants look like?

Loki blanched. Or he thought he would have, had his skin been its usual shade, for he keenly felt both the insufficiency of his blood and the weight of Jane's appraising eyes. A small bit of granola bar he hadn't yet swallowed stuck in his throat and he coughed it up before managing to get it all the way down.

Did Odin do this to him, with those enchantments? When he must know how much he hates Frost Giants? How could he be so cruel to his own son?!

His own son…but he's not Odin's biological son. Jane's thoughts drifted into memory. "I was abandoned, left outside to die in the cold. Odin changed history." He was born at the end of the war between Asgard and Jotunheim, the day of the truce. "Odin changed history…"

"I wasn't as successful as I hoped." "I knew what had to be done." "We learned where to place the blade to most efficiently kill them." "They deserve to die."

Loki came back into focus, red eyes fixed on hers, granola bar half-frozen and forgotten at his side. "I was meant to die," he'd told her on Asgard. "You are a Frost Giant?" she whispered in shock.

/


Well, those of you who have been suffering with over three and a half years of waiting for this...I guess you can stop reading now. Check mark. :-) Oh, wait, there are other things you're waiting for? Well, there are indeed other things to come.

Things were going a different way here originally; this is the chapter that I decided I had to do some sizeable reworking on so that it would be something closer to what I wanted. Some of you might guess what was changed. I won't go into it here but feel free to ask in a review or PM if you're interested and I'll tell you. (With sufficient bribery I could even be talked into providing the original version, maybe, I have no idea if anyone's interested in that kind of thing.) I haven't gotten back to the more recent reviewers of the last chapter - spent a chunk of the last week in various combinations of sickness, lack of internet, lack of electricity (which also contributes to the delay in my responses to PMs - it's not me ignoring you!). Which is also why this chapter's going up today when it should have gone up yesterday (the no-electricity part).

Previews for Ch. 143 "Truth": Loki convinces Jane he's not really a Frost Giant, and it requires another 142 chapters for her to figure out he was pulling one over on her. KIDDING! :-)

Excerpt:

"They aren't like you, Jane. They aren't like any of these people here, or any of the rest of the people of the Nine Realms. They had a baby that was too small, abnormal, and what kind of mercy did they show it? They left it to die. To starve to death. Or freeze to death, if that's even possible for them. That is an act of soulless barbarians. Do you not see?"