Total Drama X: Hotel Rockies
Episode 1: Total Drama Once Again!
Part 2: The Rest of These Guys
I think splitting it here is kind of a bad idea, since I have been getting much better at dealing with an absurd amount of characters and oh man, the additions of...
...Sakura, Kate Alen, Jack Horner, Esmeralda and Fenneko into the roster to make 68 campers...'cause Jasmine's out of dat roster and so, I will finally finished the intro to this season's cast.
No more random additions, no more and yes, the genders are imbalanced and I kinda stopped caring for one reason that isn't revealed yet!
1602jaw's review:
Basically speaking, this season takes place...a few months ago and since Pahkitew Island has aired in 2011, Topher would actually be 28...or 29...and I'd like to think that I seriously improved on the intro since Ultimate Islands is two years old and I learned a lot!
Gonna be honest, since this technically is nearly a year ahead of Ultimate Islands, Chris is doing some...dumb stuff (to not spoil anything) and hence when Goldilocks and the crew were ready to kill Chris or Topher for said dumb stuff.
And also, Asahi could definitely find some good friends.
Also, Lusamine, takes most of her personality from the games...and maybe a bit from the anime in some aspects, emphasis on MAYBE, though.
39 contestants, some of which have come back for one more shot and no, the bus wasn't even finished dropping off all of the contestants and Topher had already accepted 72 contestants...but that was if there was any stowaways or the fanbase was loud enough.
And speaking of loud, King Dedede...another guy who didn't need an introduction.
"Did you know how long it took for the bus to actually fix itself! Too damn long, I say!" He complained real loud. "Topher, you've gotta find some way for the guy to be-"
"Welcome to the competition, King Dedede, Your Highness." Topher announced. "Sorry for the bus breaking down."
"Yeah, you better be sorry! Anyways, happy to be kicking it here." Dedede exclaimed. "...Are you going to give me a million dollars or something because I don't want that!"
"No...you're going to compete for a million dollars, Your Highness...you know, it's Total Drama after all!"
"Geez, you could've just told me...I wonder where that Chris fella is!" King Dedede quite easily just jumped out. "Anyways, there's some...Italian guy who loves bombs and he-"
The king inflated like he didn't just eat a bomb, as Topher was shocked.
"Well, I'm still getting the ball rollin', so see ya!" Dedede sped off.
Said Italian was actually right behind the big king penguin-looking man, as he was also a mustachoied man...with some stubble, black hair and shaved sides and wearing some chest armour, a codpiece, a black jumper, grey-green trousers and brown boots.
Unsurprisingly, he was named Vinny.
"Yo, Vinny, Vincenzo...can I call you that?"
"I could care less, but yes." Vinny answered. "For the record, I made sure that the bombs don't explode."
"Maybe you shouldn't just bring them onto a show like this! Also, what's with them?"
"Just in case, things get more crazy...because-"
Vinny could heard the chaos in the reception room.
"-things are crazy over there. Also, it's my thing."
"Yeah, I don't care if it is your thing...I'll just seize 'em."
"No, I mean that's fine. Why do you need the bombs?" Vinny answered quickly, sensing something wrong.
Topher said nothing, as he had a smug smirk.
"Just to let you know, you're not gonna kill me."
Topher smugly saw Vinny left the introductory space, as there was 28 more to be introduced...well, it was twenty-seven, as she was about to come in loud and loud she was...like Dedede.
Except a bit...like a supervillain packed into a fat queenly form.
AKA the Queen of Hearts already yelled, when she came in, as she was quite the heavyset, surprisingly strong mad queen with her black hair tied at the back and she wore a half-black, half-red gown with a black-yellow striped under layer and obviously, she had red high heels...
...also, she was mad like she usually is.
"Oh, uh, congratulations, Your Highness, welcome to this grand exhibition of a competition called Total Drama!" Topher announced. "So, you want to participate-"
"YES! A queen can tell that you don't speak like you should." The queen just screamed, as Topher really felt...something in his ears.
"Yeah, that's great. Anyways, why did you even sign up?"
"Because I felt my rule needed to be shown on the television and my power as queen allows me to get away from my kingdom to prove that I am the best royal!"
"There's Dedede and he's a king, so there are other kings and queens here!"
"Does he behead everyone who angers him?"
Topher just shook his head, knowing her...insanity, for lack of a better word, as she was suddenly pleased at her fellow royal's lack of killings.
"Good, I'll teach him something!" The queen stomped her way into the reception. "My way will win this competition!"
The main host himself just tried to not laughed, as her comical demeanour managed to crack up him...and the next lady, who was her usual red dress and all that.
"Wow, that's one crazy queen...wonder she gets off treating people like that."
For the record, Jessica Rabbit wasn't just...that kind of character, but she still was very attractive with her long red hair that covered her right eye, purple eyeshadow and wearing her purple gloves, the red dress with a slit on the right and red high heels.
"Uh..."
Jessica wasn't in the mood to be looked at...at least, by the host.
"...Oh crap! Hello, Jessica Rabbit...yeah, what's good!"
"Aside from getting the chance to show myself outside of my singing and...seeing some other people act like villains, not that much bad." She answered. "Are you okay?"
And she was now uncomfortably close with Topher, who was blushing at her presence.
"Yeah, I am and trust me, there's very good reasons for having you!"
"I feel I know what it is already." Jessica guessed, not that surprised. "Don't worry about it, I know."
"Actually, it's because of your relationship and your singing prowess...you're kinda like someone else already here!"
"Well, that's a good surprise for once...I think I'm going to join the-"
Like clockwork, the reception room got a lot louder this time around for hopefully obvious reasons.
"Good lord, what kinda crazy bullshit is happening in there?"
A very distinctly Bostonian voice came in to cut through the noise.
"Nah...I'm pretty sure that I signed up for this."
The Scout may not have a name, but he's known by a lot of people (outside of the fic, of course) for his blue t-shirt and navy blue pants (Heavy won't like that.), frigging baseball bat, that accent and his bonking abilities.
He was actually a rough, slim and young guy, having hair with shaved sides under a 50s baseball cap and he wore the previously mentioned t-shirt, pants, grey shoes, sports tape around his hands and a small bag that was tied like a backpack...and half a headphone?
"Scout, yeah, there is indeed a lot of crazy in this season! And no, she's not-"
Topher got ignored, probably because Scout was looking for a certain "rabbit."
"Hello miss, you looking real good for hosting this show. How are ya with hosting some other stuff" Scout stated. "Like, uh-"
"-You know that we're both playing the same game. Literally."
Scout suddenly realised that Ms. Pauling would slug him in the face several times and probably steal his fried chicken, as Jessica Rabbit was just calmly standing there.
"Yeah, toots, I know what you're trying to do and it ain't working." Scout remarked. "I'm here for the million bucks and prove that BLU team is the true team."
"...Oh, that's quite nice...just wondered-"
"Nah, I'm not teaming up with any red people...or robots! I bet there are robots in there!" Scout declared.
"There is one sorta might-be robot, Scout-"
"Then I'm going to hurt it real bad!"
Scout left, as Jessica Rabbit just looked at the man with just confusion, only shrugging.
"I bet you have a hard job, so I'll just let you do your thing."
Jessica left and like clockwork, another player arrived and this time, they were a woman...or rather, a Muslim teenage girl, who genuinely didn't want to be here.
For obvious reasons.
"...Wait, am I going to get married? Do you even know about my parents?"
Parvana was just your typical Muslim 13-year old with distinctly-long hair a teal hijab, a olive-coloured dress that covered...nearly everything and some kind of giant bloomers with shoes.
Oh yeah, she's also from Afghanistan.
"...Who are you?" She asked like she didn't want anything to do with this.
"My name is Topher, I am a host for this show and...why can I understand you, Parvana?" Topher told her, before shaking his head. "Nah, you're on Total Drama, the greatest show on earth! That you signed up for..."
Parvana, being an Afghan, didn't know what the fuck he was talking about.
"...Did Allah send you?"
"It's kinda weird that you're here at all."
"...Good. Are there other Muslim people here?"
"...Uh, I'll get back to you on that, Parvana!"
Parvana just wisely went towards the sign, as the next campers wasn't pleased with the epic trick on a vulnerable Muslim girl, that contestant being Esmeralda from 12th century France and that one movie that Frollo is from.
Esmeralda was a an attractive gypsy woman in her early 20s with brown skin, having a curvy figure and emerald green eyes and she wore a white top, a teal bodice, a purple sarong, black flats, a tamberine and bag with some gold.
And she wasn't down with Topher's...callous-ness.
"You know that she finds out that she's not going to like this and hiding it!" Esmeralda told him. "As someone who's gone through that, that would suck."
"Esmeralda, are you going to roast me all day!" Topher announced.
"Not really, just...I have been getting a lot of looks just for coming here and honestly, you're the first one to not just judge me for my looks." She replied towards Topher's snotty reply.
And he even realised that he messed up, as he composed himself again, coughed and saw Esmeralda's anger disappear.
"Welcome to Total Drama, Esmeralda, the show that's full of very different and very weird people and yeah, you're one of them and you can't just get out of this."
"...I'm pretty sure that I signed up for this! At least, can I get a look at the million dollars?" She asked. "Just to make sure that it is there."
"Nah...you're not actually the first, but you're the first one on camera."
Esmeralda definitely knew some of the contestants here and she looked surprised.
"Okay, then! I'll just represent the Romanis, if that's good enough!"
"Yeah, that's good enough!"
Esmeralda was excited for this, not that rare within the cast, but particularly resonant with the past few that had arrived on the bus and that wasn't continuing at all.
These two were both in Smash Bros. Ultimate, my original massive crossover (Crossover Islands or whatever) and honestly, not really that weird in comparsion to guys like He Dachun.
Banjo was a brown bear with a mullet, khaki shorts, a blue backpack and a dogtag and Kazooie was a red bird with yellow feathers on the wings, head feathers, belly...that also fit in Banjo's backpack.
And they were nearly the last one from the returning players' bus.
"Banjo & Kazooie, it's nice to see you here!" Topher announced. "You know that since a fair amount of people wanted to see some weird bear and bird duo."
"Well, thank you-" Banjo said.
"-What if I called your haircut weird as hell and kinda cringe!" Kazooie just went off on the host. "And you're just some guy who was on the worst Total Drama season."
"Alright, I'm still the host of this season, so you can't just leave."
"Sorry about Kazooie, I'm really excited to be here." Banjo finished his statement.
"Yeah, I'm not gonna leave because you suck so much." Kazooie then started up her statement, as Banjo looked shocked.
"I've had a bus delayed, I'm not going to let you stop me from hosting this thing, so just...calm down, bird lady."
"Sorry, sorry, I'll just make my way to where everyone is!" Banjo just put the bird back into the backpack, as Topher wondered one thing...
"Does this happen a lot?"
"Yeah."
And Banjo and Kazooie were gone, disappearing into the room of reception and stuff and finally, there was another doctor and just like the last one, he had some kind of epic quirk.
Aside from being an tall 19 year old man with stubble and piz-nez glassess and spiky hair and wearing a blue business suit, he had this one thing that could put his hand through the door.
The fact that his hand ended up opening the door on the other side through some blue portal.
"No way, this is really on TV! I was promised something insane."
"Leorio, you've finally arrived at the right place for that! Total Drama X: Mountain Drama!"
"Yeah..."
Leorio had the important question.
"...why isn't it on a mountain, though? It's not impossible to make a hotel on a mountain and this place looks kinda boring."
"It definitely looks boring, but it's a very exciting place chock full of bombs and stuff."
"Wait, bombs?! What kind of show are you running here?!" Leorio just shouted, ready to come swinging. "What next, you just have some dangerous animals?"
..
...
"Yeah."
"I just wanted to be a doctor, but I really did survive stuff that is a lot tougher...but how do you have bombs on TV."
"You wouldn't understand, man, I have the documents meaning that you can't sign out of this show!" Topher saw Leorio grumbled. "I mean, you fought guys that are going to be tougher than my dangerous challenge."
"That is true...but this is some crap." Leorio grumbled. "But I bet I'm not going to regret this! But we aren't gonna get mauled by some random stuff, yeah?"
Topher just ignored him, as they both really knew the answer...
...as the awkward few seconds of eye-contact started...
...and ended quite quickly.
"Cool, I'm just going to join the rest of them!"
And that was 48 having been introduced out of the 68 contestants had joined the show for a decent chance at getting a bunch of money and le and behold, the bus was finally gone.
Or rather, it was out of the camera's sight and smoking in a weird fashion.
Okay, twenty-four more, was what Topher had genuinely thought as it was...just twenty more contestants to introduce and honestly, the next one basically introduced themselves.
"Hello, did I miss something?" Some scruffy 22-year old Japanese guy asked.
That scruffy Japanese guy was Kaiji Itou, practically cursed with having to gamble for his life sometimes...and he was a lanky dude with shoulder-length black hair with bangs and a scar on his cheek, wearing an brown jacket with a bunch of logos on it, a black t-shirt, almost white jeans and navy blue and red sneakers.
"No, you didn't, Kaiji Itou! Let's just say I've heard stories!"
Kaiji raised an eyebrow.
"The hell do you know?"
"Stuff that I relastically shouldn't know."
"Yeah, that makes sense." Kaiji said. "Yeah, this seems kinda like one of those...but I don't know what I'm getting to...damn, who else is here...like who's wearing a costume in this thing?"
"...No-one!"
Kaiji realised that he was in...some weird place, a hotel chuck full of the multiverse's most volatile characters with a bounty hunting Goldilocks, a Romani woman from France, a spunky princess and what not.
"...Looks like it's too late to go back, but you didn't tell me anything!" Kaiji yelled.
And then the next person came in with her charms...and her form-fitting costume, as the French lady with the hidden eyes behind her hair walked into Kaiji and Topher's sacred eyes...or something like that.
"Uh, I'm gonna go!" Kaiji sped off. "See ya later, lady!"
"Okay, bye...wow, that guy must have realised what was up?" The french lady remarked.
Shermie was...one of the French people of all time, being a 21-year old consistently vuluptuous average-height woman with red hair that covered her eyes and a sly smile and she wore a furry pink jacket, a black dress with..a fishnet hole and black furry boots.
"Yeah...what is up Shermie? Are you okay?"
"Pretty much! No way, you're that Topher guy...from...uh...Pahkitew Island, was it?" Shermie read him easily.
"Uh...I'm glad to get recognised from that season, just what do you plan to do?"
"Come on, I'm just here for the money like everyone else...and I've got my hamsters with me to boot." She said, smile fading for a second...
...before some lightning came down, seeing that her hamsters were feeling some kind of pain.
"Those bad men didn't harm you, didn't they?" Shermie was hamster-talkin' "Or that mean Chika lady?"
"Yeah, the hamsters should be fine...anyways, Chika's right behind you!"
"No way, is she?" She asked playfully.
Shermie turned around to see, in fact there was a scared pink-haired schoolgirl right behind her and she gave the bravest that she could muster up...and she was wearing a hoodie too.
"I didn't know that you were French!" Chika squeaked out. "Anyways, I hope you're going to have a great time."
"I hope your time's great...before I eliminate you!" Shermie told her playfully. "Okay, bye!"
Chika just saw Shermie just leave, as the Japanese schoolgirl steeled her own confidence, with her having pink hair having a bow on top of the bangs, being 5 feet tall and having blue eyes and she wore her school uniform. (for obvious reasons.)
Also, she also had some...bazongas?
"Oh, good, you're that Topher fella?" Chika asked. "No way, you're kinda cringe!"
"Chika, you can't just say that! Also, I'd like to think that I am not!"
"Yeah, my friends helped me with the Total Drama reasearch and uh, you kinda sucked during that time and...actually, that's about it! So, where's Chris?" Chika asked.
"I'm actually the host of this season...Chris is somewhere!"
"Then I'm going to make sure that I'm going to win this and win some challenges, too...but I don't want a boyfriend right now!" Chika declared. "Anyways, I'm going to join the fun room!"
"That room isn't fun right now!"
The screams of pain made Topher cringe.
"I'm gonna think otherwise!"
Chika was in with a good chunk of stuff that she carried along with some black-haired guy with some headphones, who was complaining something about "people from the multiverse" and he was there for some reason.
Anyways, the next contestant wasn't wasting any time with their situation, as they were pissed off that they didn't get any attention with their blinding fucking light.
Also, they were definitely not ten years old, but they looked the part and even sounded the part extremely loud "HMPH!"
"Well, well, well, Angelia, look who finally got here!" Topher announced. "Seriously, it wasn't even that long."
"Twenty minutes is still too long, servant." She stated. "...But you're the host of this thing."
"Yeah...now you get it."
Angelia Avallone was older than ten, but she did look like a blonde ten-year old with extremely long hair, a giant pajama shirt covering all of her torso, arms and half of her legs and nothing.
"You have a stupid amount of power and live in the spirit realm, so wh-"
"Why not? It's fun to use my abilities, not really to fight, but to win this competition of people who could compare to me!" Angelia boasted. "I haven't met them yet, but they couldn't be any stronger than me...mostly."
Topher just shrugged, as he just laughed.
"When I win that laugh is gonna come from me."
"I'm just saying you're really cute!"
"And that is not half bad!"
Angelia just flew into the other room literally.
And then someone else arrived into the room, being by and far the most evil apparently, or two someones...and a butler robot, as the two mad scientists arrived at nearly the same time.
"Cinnamon, Snively, one at a time...or not, but it'll make it harder to remember you both!"
"Yes, sir, but this man is declaring to be a better doctor than my cousin, Doctor Robotnik!" Snively spoke.
"Shut up, genius! I swear he sounds like a mediocre scientist with a funny name...unlike me, who has a less funny name and great science!" Cinnamon...Scudworth proclaimed.
"What do you mean, great scientist...you make clones of famous figures, make them teenagers to have the experience to take over the world! That isn't bad, just insane."
"Okay, okay, at least every one of my creations is my own doing and honestly, your robots are really good...just I wouldn't listen to my cousin-"
"GUYS, oh my god..."
The two scientists stood tall.
Snively was not tall, not by any measure, but he definitely looked like Eggman's nephew with the green coat, black jumpsuit and gloves that harkened towards the more modern version of him.
Cinnamon J. Scudworth was relatively very tall and had thinning brown hair with a bald spot with a pointy soul patch and he wore a lab coat, yellow gloves, a blue shirt with a tie, black pants and shoes.
"Snively Robotnik, why are you here?"
"To prove that I'm not just an unwilling servant towards my cousin and much more importantly, in addition to winning, to also expand the business of Eggman Robotics!" Snively stated, not missing a beat and baring no ill will.
"Cinnamon J. Scudworth, why are you here!"
"Because my school of clones needs its principal to be shown on inter-universal TV...and it's really funny...and I finally have to someone to take care of my awesome school of clones while learn the ways of the teen!" Scudworth shouted. "...mostly."
Topher just say that some beautiful 40-year old lady in a white dress came in, especially another mother like Yor...except very much evil and blonde.
"Not the jellyfish lady!" Scudworth shouted.
"Lusamine...we'll consider it." Snively told her honestly.
"Hahaha, good."
The third lady had back-length blonde hair that went down in spirals, even having bangs that almost covered her emerald green eyes and she had pale skin (in Pokemon Hawaii aka Alola) and she wore a white dress with yellow elements and a cyan gem in the middle, white and black stockings and black, white and gold high heels.
"I'm just more surprised that there really isn't a Survivor for the multiverse, considering...what this is." Lusamine remarked.
"Well, see ya later!" Scudworth sprinted away in comedic fashion.
Topher just looked at her like she grew a jellyfish on her head.
"Do you know those two?"
"Not really, Topher, I met them in the airport while I was getting pictures taken...and honestly, in this kind of game, you never who's going to be good or who's going to be bad?"
"Cool, so you're playing for strategy, huh?"
"That and introducing the Ultra Beasts to these people who haven't seen the beauty of such things...and to prove that I am not a terrible person."
"Random accusation, but I'm sure you're going to do both of those-"
"YOOOO, this [spiralling woman] is her3! And everybody are
And Spamton, don't forget Spamton.
Which looked like a white puppet snake oil salesman with spiky hair, a suit jacket with a bowtie, a white shirt and glasses that had purple and yellow lenses...and a ton of wear, tear and a bit of dirt.
"[[congratulations]], I made it here. [[thank you for the opportunity]] and letting m3 take on this deal!"
Lusamine and Topher just looked at him with wonder, confusion and slight revulsion, for hopefully obvious reasons.
"What a weird Pokemon." Lusamine couldn't help but be in awe about it.
"I'm no [[Pokeyman]], but a r3al man with qualities! [[Non-stop manliness]] is m3!" Spamton didn't really disprove the allegation, but he proclaimed this.
"...I'll just let you go!" Lusamine told her. "I will study you later!"
Spamton definitely saw the Ultra Beast-loving villain's smile and knew that he was about to get into some crazy stuff, as Topher crouched down to meet at the puppet's eye level.
"...What the hell are you, Spamton?"
"A puppet off a string! Do you want to be a [[good host]] with charisma?"
Spamton was already pissing Topher off with the fractured speech.
"It's It's [[hyperlink blocked]]. Sorry about that, but [[professional hosts]] need the amazing [[hyperlink blocked]] and some [other stuff] as well." Spamton proclaimed, selling some ridiculous...things.
"No thanks, I'm not dealing with fake salesman...of...whatever it is you have!"
"Yeah, that's a-"
Spamton just froze up, as a talking lemur walked in the situation.
"-[[the big one.]] Anyways...anyways-"
Spamton just got thrown out by the lemur.
"-There's a glitchy talking puppet as a contestant! Looks like I'm in the right place-"
"-I'll be in the [[boardroom]]!"
Said talking puppet went out, as Tangle, who was the lemur's name, just looked at Topher.
For the record, Tangle was an light grey anthro lemur lady with extra fur on the top, purple eyes, a stretchy tail with grey stripes and gray fur in several parts...and she wore a black bodysuit with orange stripes, a yellow sleeveless top, yellow sports tape on the arms, a black gloves with orange back, yellow and black hi-top shoes with white soles.
"You know, it's going to be epic besides the crazy amount of contestants...and the amount of crazy contestants! Which is my place!" Tangle proclaimed, as Topher just starting to get way more annoyed.
"Uh, it's not your place, it's my place to host one of the Total Drama seasons of all time!"
Tangle just missed a beat.
And another.
...
"That's not really a compliment, but I'm down for any Total Drama with my friend in it! Any of my friends in it, which include Silver!" Tangle declared. "Did Eggman have a cousin or something?"
"Snively?"
"...Sounds like some Eggman wannabe and I can handle that too!"
Tangle stretched her own tail to prove that she could handle anything like she was trying to be a one-lemur PMC and her tail...slapped a bucket down a whole corridor.
"Anyways, whatever challenge you have, I'm ready for!"
"That's what I like to hear! Would you believe how many people just hate Total Drama challenges for no reason!"
"...I just want a good challenge, though! Doesn't mean they're mean-"
"Yeah, that is...another contestant coming in! Look at that, there's another contestant arriving!" Topher practically stopped Tangle's train of thought. "The man, the myth, the legend, Sora!"
Tangle took a good at the apparent legend, who was in a motivated mood for one reason only.
"I get to hang out with my Smash buds more...sorry, Donald and Goofy!" Sora's smile never wavered. "And you're Tangle, right?"
"Yeah, pretty much! I'm sort of a hometown hero who's hanging out with the big dogs!" Tangle just slapped him on the back.
Sora's sixteen, complete with the classic spiky brown hair, big black and yellow shoes, black hoodie jacket with short sleeves, black t-shirt and black gauntlet and fingerless gloves.
"No way, that's...a bit like me!" Sora fist-bumped Tangle. "Let's hope that we're on the same team together!"
Tangle's smile suddenly wasn't as strong as before, as Sora realised something.
"...Wait, are you-"
"Hold up, I'm not going to spoil anything, so just get going!"
Sora and Tangle just ran into the main room together, as the next contestant was pleasantly confused at what she was getting into...wanting that other-worldly experience.
Being a somewhat skinny black-skinned princess with teal blue hair tied in a puffy ponytail didn't really mean anything to her, as she wore her teal, turquoise scaled tracksuit, turquoise shoulder pads, golden bracelets and sea-styled sky blue and gold hi-top trainers...with pride and tiredness from dealing with some people.
"Mermista, how's traffic treating you?"
"Urgh, it's not really the fact that I was waiting forever that hurt. It was moreso that there's like obvious supervillains in here!" Mermista just commented on the roster. "Doesn't mean I won't go hard on those guys! Traffic still sucks, anyways."
"Good...you're going to be fighting against those supervillains in challenges that don't always involve fighting."
Mermista just looked at the new host with some amount of anger.
"...I'm just going to hang out with the more normal people, if that's okay." Mermista remarked. "Did you know that-"
"-you could turn into a mermaid, yeah!"
Topher was as smug as a host could be, as Mermista just said "Ugh!" with her leaving and a unicorn kid walking into with appreciation for the world and actually how similar it is to her own world.
Like Izzy Moonbow.
"Didn't she just bend some water ten minutes ago?" Izzy asked. "Pretty sure I could that!"
"Yeah, just don't worry about it! You're...a unicorn?"
Topher just saw a kid pony with lilac fur and blue and purple hair that faded into each colour and realised that she was relatively normal compared to even half of the more humanoid players.
"What's wrong with being a unicorn?" Izzy asked. "There's like two-legged furless people and I wouldn't treat them badly because they're that!"
"...weird statement, but I'm not going to hold that against you!"
"Yeah, we speak the same way and this place looks a lot like Equestria, so what's the big deal about it?" Izzy said. "I did say to my friends that I genuinely want to come into a new place, live fast, shoot things and maybe learn how to do a backflip?"
"Wow, you are a lot to deal with, Izzy...I'm just gonna let you..."
"Okay, there's probably a lot of people that want to come in.
Nine more campers to introduce or maybe more, considering the situation at hand and Topher was already getting tired of people coming in at random people and ruining his own mental state at the host and-
-oh, look at the time, it's Glendale, the anxious kleptomaniac who might have stolen something important or not...
...
...
Also she looked like a combination of an Californian beachgoer and an antelope with the brown fur on her arms, neck and head and pink fur everywhere else, the wide eyes near the ears, blue hair that was placed to her right side and..she has consistently long limbs.
"Hey, uh, what I told you that the stuff that I stole was definitely not yours?" Glendale was practically panicking. "And the stuff that was actually stolen was mostly gotten in my own world and not from me, certainly not from-"
"Alright, where the-"
Glendale may have seen Topher's almost pissed off.
"I'm sorry for making you panic, it's just that there's a lot of new people that scare the stuff out of me and my portal tummy and you know, my herd are kinda encouraging to not just hurt them with my own..."
She took several breaths in and out.
And then several more.
"...You know what, I'll just stop giving you the anxiety."
"Good, because you're definitely one heck of a contestant! How do you feel about this?"
"A lot of things that I can't elaborate on!" Glendale shouted. "Okay, bye!"
The centaur genuinely freaked the next player on the block and if you've seen that bunch of text, you should know why and it did helped that the dog with a newspaper was a genuine contrast.
"Look, I do care you that you're exploiting this genuinely anxious horse thing just to show on some Reality TV show, nevermind it being Total Drama. At least you made you promise." Brian remarked, as Glendale was running around on fire.
Brian Griffin couldn't really be mistaken for anyone else, (despite the numerous clones from other shows) being very pissed off.
"That's real cold, you know! Total Drama isn't just some reality show."
"That is true. It's probably the most dangerous reality show out there and...I can't believe that I got pushed into doing this."
"...Eh? Sounds a little familiar."
"Come on, I had someone look through all of Total Drama for that, I'm not really like that Damien kid!"
"Okay, okay, Brian Griffin, calm down...I know you don't care that much, you still entered this thing!"
"Yes, that is a fair point. Just that I'm really more interested in meeting so many people from so many universes, rather than doing the pageantry of being mad." Brian made his angry statement, as Topher laughed at him. "Come on, I have a good reason aside from money about why I should stay on."
"Brian, dude, calm down, no-one aside from...a lot of people are going to judge you, so commit to your own decision and work hard to..."
Brian Griffin didn't change from his stoic expression.
"...do whatever it is you're doing."
"Fair point."
...
...
...
The most "normal" person to probably have entered Total Drama came in with a bewildered face, by his own standards, as he was still wearing his black business suit, tie with cloud patterns and blue shirt, black gloves with a distinct logo and black shoes and the simple old black hair styled like a typical businessman...except the grey strands of hair and his square-ass eyes and eyebrows.
"...Even my vacation is my job." Larry mumbled.
Larry was actually pleased.
"So, you're Larry, quite the fan favourite back in Paldea...and apparently a bunch of regions too!"
"Yeah, I don't really know how that became to be...aside from the work ethic I just have for no reason. But I have it anyways." He explained. "And something else apparently."
"...Okay, who brought this guy in here? Like, it's really funny, that he stand outs with his lack of personality among the-"
The ridiculous amount of noise that came from the other room came back.
"-actually, why do they do that?" Topher was angry in this poin.
"Shouldn't there be a security person...or security people?" Larry asked. "Because it sounds like they're having trouble."
"It's okay, just...go into the other room!"
"Sorry, it's just that I've never heard of this Total Drama."
Larry awkwardly went into the other room, seeing that not that much bad could come from the experience, even if he had to get used to it unlike a certain red-haired kid that hunted ghosts and probably said a few slurs...like reboot Abe in the first episode.
Except...she was an 11-year old Japanese girl with her brown-reddish hair being in a ponytail and having some bangs and...well, she wore a cream yellow jumper, a red vest jacket, a cyan skirt, white socks and red school shoes.
"Wait, this fanfic's going to be better than my show...maybe...not really." She said.
Topher had found his own Deadpool for some reason, because it's the law to have a fourth-wall breaking character in some random Total Drama fanfic (except in the true sequel to Ultimate Islands, RIP Deadpool.)
"Hello, cute guy, what's your ghost...or whatever funky spirit you have? Does it have a million dollars?" She asked, as Topher just laughed at him.
"Listen, Satsuki Miyano...shita! Got that first try, just realising that you're technically a ghost hunter!"
"I hang around in a town with a lot of ghosts, I'm basically am a fucking ghost hunter." Satsuki said. "Sorry for the swears, parents...and Republicans that I hate-"
"Okay, okay, damn you have a lot of opinions...oh my god!"
"-I genuinely don't know what you expected?"
Topher just took a good look at her...questioning his own reality at why some edgy teen just showed up.
"Not that."
"Cool, I'm going to join all of the mostly crazy people in the other room! My mom would really like that two million dollars, so you know what I'm going to do?"
Topher just didn't want to answer that, because he was getting tired of this girl's-
"Review this thing and hopefully, don't get spooked out...anyways, I'm going to win myself a whole bunch of money!"
She had to brag or else, she couldn't be like the next contestant...a fox office worker, who hilarious came from the same place that Haida was in the previous season and she was...
...a human-height anthro fawn-furred fennec fox with a smug grin and wearing a baby blue turtleneck sweater, gray skirt, tights and brown boots.
"Hahahahaha, I was right on the money!" The fox's laugh being monotone. "This is some crazy show with some freaky animals!"
"...Actually yeah, but you're going to have two million dollars if you win this crazy show with freaky people, Fenneko!"
"I mean that's fine, it's just that you're the man that's been on this show before and apparently sucked the whole time." Fenneko just casually dropped, still with a smug look. "At least you're not forcing us through some sadistic challenges."
"...Wow, you know a lot of words for a twenty-five year old office worker."
"I know my office and I know that they know that this is some sick stuff. I'm a fan of that...so, don't get too mad about it." Fenneko commented on the crazy situation, as the fox realised something.
...
...
...
The two of them realised something...
...especially after Fenneko kinda left the situation.
"I swear there was three more people here! Mako, Jack Horner and Mr. Shark, who might be right here for all I know! Wait, he could really be here..."
A definitely not shark like guy came up to Topher all panicking.
"Yo, host man, there's some chicanery going on stage-"
Topher just ripped off the massive hair.
Mr. Shark didn't really change that stuff, being a big shark kinda guy that wasn't even remotely big...just much fatter and slightly shorter than the new older Topher with the douche shades.
He wore a slate grey shirt with some folded sleeves, a red shirt, a tooth necklace, slate grey trousers...and also shades.
"I'm being serious, Jack Horner's doing my old thing of being evil and picking up some random chick from the crowd!" Mr. Shark shouted.
"Apparently your name's Lou or something, but it's better if we call you Mr. Shark for clarity's sake...and plus, no-one's gonna care about Lou!" Topher announced. "Lou the shark, I meant!"
"I know, I know, but I don't really care that much! I'm more mad that I didn't get it to do it for first before I felt bad about it."
"You became a good guy...I thought you were gonna be a bad guy?"
"...Weird, everyone's asking that! But I stopping caring about everyone a long time, it's now me and my homies!" Mr. Shark bragged. "Anyways, I'm gonna join these crazy people!"
"See ya..."
And that was sixty-eight out of the seventy campers and two of them were currently in some weird situation, as Mr. Shark just casually did his good deed of the day.
"...Ah, I'm gonna figure them out when I get on that awesome hotel stage! Finally, it's my time to shine as the new host!"
A talking shark, a fourth-wall breaking schoolgirl, a scruffy gambler, a mad queen, two mad scientist, a very odd fashionista wrestler, a guy from Boston, a redeemed supervillain, a witch with a love of human trickets, a fourth-wall breaking lawyer, a fighting doctor, a cleaning robot, an ogre and a film student were only some of the 68 already introduced contestants...
...and Topher was ready to introduced the last two or three on the hotel stage that was locked for no apparent reason at all, as the new host was bonking on the door to even get it in...even calling on the intern to
"No fucking away, you stole the Mona Lisa?" Scout asked incredulously.
"Yeah...as the Mona Lisa!"
"Yeah, that's..."
Scout caught onto the crossdressing thing.
"...as the Mona Lisa?!"
"As the lady herself...what's the big deal, though?"
"You're some kind of crazy, though I don't know-"
Someone tapped on the mic, as the already introduced contestants were just paying attention to their own situation, like...
...Goldilocks and Mirabel talking about their family situation...
...Kirishima being motivated by Mr. Gar's own words...
...Luigi and Daisy doing the smooch right in front of an excited Chika and a confused Sora...
...and finally, Eris was wondering why there were so few sword wielders aside from the generally shitty Shrek and uh, the man on the mic was not Topher, I could tell you that.
"Quit wasting time already, Topher, I know it's you!" Satsuki shouted.
"...Just calm down, Satsuki." She-Hulk said calmly. "Your mom's watching this and would she want to see you shouting for Topher?"
"...No..."
"Too bad, it's not Topher!" The big man on the mic projected his voice. "And yes, I would be a way better host than he would!"
No indeed, it was not Topher and strangely enough, two of the contestants could tell who it was right away.
"Wait, is that Jack?" Goldilocks realised
"The pie guy?" Shrek just asked in confusion. "Heard he died from some star."
"That's what I don't get it, he should-"
The mic screech worked.
"I'm back from the dead, baby and this time, there's no need for a wish because I got the multiverse of magic that I want to have! Also, Topher, I heard that you don't like my business-"
He then proceeded to get a kick in the face from someone who was also behind the curtain and the curtain peeled back to reveal four totally different people in this thing and hilariously, only one of them was the newcomer.
"Big" Jack Horner was big in both senses, being fat and tall and having huge cheeks, purple hair in a bob cut and strangely slim legs. He wore a long purple jacket, a purple waistcoat, a white t-shirt, purple pants and black boots with heels.
The first returning character that kicked him Mako Mankanshoku, being the hyperactive schoolgirl with bowl cut brown hair that she was and somehow still wore her school girl outfit...and a badass black jacket that she kept as a keepsakes.
The second returning character actually walked in already and Judy Hopps was already done with the Jack Horner punch, judging by the look of several criminals, she wisely stood up...still wearing the pink tie-dye shirt and jeans.
Mako and JFK did the kick, as Judy Hopps ran onto stage for obvious reasons.
And the last returning contestant was JFK, complete with the red jumper, white shirt, khaki trousers and big butt that was kicking on the man's boots.
"Hey, Principal, I'm kicking this guy's ass!" JFK yelled.
"Thank you for kicking that guy's butt!" Scudworth yelled from the audience's seats.
"Listen, JFK, I want to make sure that I can kick butt together! So, I do not want to go to bed with you!" Mako shouted, basically being smacked in the face by Big Jack.
"Er-uh, your loss!" JFK got his butt kicked.
Topher then diffused the situation, seeing that JFK and Mako were definitely feeling the pain and Jack Horner was being himself, which meant that-
"Okay, Jack Horner, I know that you're a big villain and all of that big stuff, but you should not torture the other campers and more importantly, take my spot on the stage! I really like that spot!" Topher shouted. "Also, who bet you?"
"Nobody, but I wanted to make an entrance because I am Big Jack Horner!" Jack shouted. "Also, I got-"
"Get off the stage, villain!" JFK shouted. "I'm seeing many hot babes!"
I'm sorry, "Big" Jack Horner just stepped off the stage to take a seat between Scout and Mr. Shark, who weren't pleased.
"JFK, welcome back! If your speech's about women, I don't wanna hear it!"
"I know volleyball!" JFK proclaimed. "And sports and Cleo, who is my girlfriend! Anyways, er-uh, who wants a-"
Mako almost pushed him.
"Enough of that, JFK!" Topher asked, pushing JFK onto the stairs. "Mako, do you even have a speech?"
"My name is Mako Mankanshoku and I'm ready to be in America! That's good enough for you?"
"We're in Canada."
Mako realised her mistake.
"Oh, crud, that's why there is maple syrup everywhere!"
"...Judy Hopps, the final returnee, the third of these guys with a J, what's your epic word?"
"I get that I'm known as the bunny cop, but did you have to reveal it to these guys and make sure that I get targeted?" Judy Hopps asked. "Also, hi, Topher, I'm genuinely happy that you're the new host...maybe it means that we won't go through some messed up challenges!"
"Yes and these challenges are wild!"
"Good to know, I'm just going to, hopefully, not bomb!" Judy shouted, nervously laughing in the meanwhile. "Anyways, I'm gonna let my actions...speak the words!"
Mako just hopped off-stage, hurt her ankle and ran into the crowd of contesants that were plain determined to take the crown, as Judy stepped into Kirishima and Mr. Gar's speech with confidence and weird looks.
"Get off the stage, bunny cop!" Mako yelled, compliment her.
"I will!" Judy Hopps shouted, wisely being on stage. "As soon as I stop getting stared at."
Finally, we've got the brainless jock, bunny cop, criminal CEO and the hyperactive schoolgirl to round out the cast into seventy-two people.
All of them representing very different archetype, all of them balanced by gender (almost), all of them sharing the same exact hotel, the same goal and all of them having a unique way of getting the million, enjoying themselves or having some wack-ass motive.
Either way, Topher was on stage, clean cut and looking like a douche, as he prepared himself.
"Finally after some people decided to interrupt my premiere of this season, it's finally starting with all 72 campers, or rather, guests of this awesome hotel...really, it is!" Topher smugly stated with assured confidence. "We've got only the best of amenities, so that you can rest from the worst of challenges in Hotel Drama Calgary!"
"But we're not near Calgary!" Mei just called out.
"We are not?!" Judy shrieked in confusion.
"Not even true, we're pretty close to Calgary! But the real awesome part is that a good chunk of this hotel's really underground, just so we can pack more drama than ever...also obviously, you know what's next?"
Topher made the random intern work the projector thingy, as there was already signs for the bathroom and notably, there being more than six doors.
"Aw yeah, the bathroom, er-uh, the place of-" JFK wanted to finish that sentence.
"The bathroom, the place of relieving yourself and obviously, containing the showers for SEPERATE GENDERS, so that you can do your number one and two...and the other things!"
JFK still had a dumb smile on his face, as Topher just groaned.
"No, they're not co-ed and more importantly-"
The projector just shorted out.
"-this thing, uh anyways, do you guys want to see the bathroom?!"
"Not really, but we don't know this place!" Mei piped up again for reasons.
Unsuprisingly, the bathrooms were all in one spot like a normal Total Drama season set up in quite the corridor between two very different areas...but they were still like Total Drama Island bathrooms which meant that-
"Yeah, do not do people there! Also, there's a few near your rooms of together-ness on the second floor, but we're not there yet!"
"Wait, where's the upstairs bathroom?" Banjo asked.
"It's up the stairs, fucker!" Satsuki answered rudely.
Topher snuffed out the questionable question, as he moved onto the-
...
"-cafeteria, where we've got only the most...chefs, since Chef Hatchet is gone for some reason! complete with some old favourites and people that almost got into the season!"
The cafeteria was pretty fancy shmancy compared to the the "camp classics" in about half of the Total Drama seasons and behind the counter, there laid two very different contestants.
"YOOOO, it's not even over yet, man! You should just cook it up, bro!" Lowain somehow shouted. "Cook up the rest of Ultimate Islands!"
"He's been shouting this for a hot minute, should I get some help?" Soma asked, spiky hair and brainless stare intact. "In the cooking area, I mean!"
"Nah, we're good." DJ remarked.
"Ra-"
"I bet they're going to make great food." Topher loudly said, matter-of-factly, like he wanted to put on some more pain.
"What's wrong with the food?" Fenneko said.
"Nothing, really."
"Yeah, I don't believe you."
...
Somehow, someway and through some safety check, there was two confessional bathrooms that just stood out in the five-floor aboveground part of the hotel and fit perfectly.
And Topher was in one of them.
*The host's first confessional*
"And here's the confessional, where you make strategies, talk about your epic romance, your bromance, talk about whatever revelations you have or talk about the game, the strategy, the Total Drama experience! Or something stupid, so have at it!"
The man of the game laughed with a smile.
"Hahaha, I've still got it!"
*Jack Horner's confessional*
He was mad about one particular thing.
"You can't just kill people on TV! That would be crazy and would probably get you kicked off the show...unless it was magical and couldn't be traced back to me!" He was schemingly very smartly.
*Goldilocks' confessional*
The blonde bounty hunter wasn't pleased.
"If I'm right, in order to win this thing, I'm going to need a bunch of people to be with me, thinking of plans in ways to beat the game and earn those two million dollars myself! And I bet a lot of people are thinking that, except that Jack Horner git...he's probably thinking of ways of murder, right now." She stated, sharpening her...fork? "I bet they're thinking of their epic strategy."
*Mako's confessional*
She was standing confidently in the confessional.
"Do you think these guys have cheesecake or even good food!" She shouted.
*Mirabel's confessional*
She was not in the middle of panicking, no matter what you say or what she says.
"Okay, all you have to do is prove to your family that you don't need magic or that being not special means you're fine or that you're not a disappointment to Abuela, who might be judging me right now for disgracing the family!" She practically spat out at speed. "And most importantly, you're not forgetting the family while having a good time!"
*Eda Clawthorne's special confessional*
She looked right into the box, checking the box full of honest plays.
"I've played Grudgy, I've ran from the Emperor Coven forever and the one thing that you need to take the competiton by the Titan's bones is cheating, obviously, first off, you got..."
The box was actually a book of glyphs, a ridiculous amount of apple blood and also not cheats, which deflated Eda's confidence quite a bit.
"...Lillith and Luz is a deadly combo. I guess I have to strategise, hang out with some people, hope that Jack Horner doesn't try to kill me...and find a stupid amount of paper to deal with my cursed magic."
*Confessional cut*
"And many, many other things that I don't want to get into at the moment, but on the second floor, there are the well-revered bedrooms on the second floor!"
The bedrooms on the second floor were looking...like they had two beds, plugs, no fucking wi-fi and were a little bit old-school for lack of a better word, even if it was oddly comfortable.
And the stairs weren't really that different, but the first floor wasn't really bordered up, just closed for "actual hotel stuff."
"No wi-fi? Oooh, you're an evil man, Topher!" Katie made the comment in jest, almost sarcastically.
"I don't really know what you expected." Kirishima answered, missing the jest.
"These bedrooms will each house 2 people and there's about 40 of them, but we're not going to talk about that now!"
Katie and Kirishima just opened the door with force and noticed the general quality of it was weird, as the beds were good and the plugs were there...but everything else was certainly a "TDI classic" with the general quality.
"Holy shit, that's a classic!" Reagan shouted.
And those two share a bug just jumped out of the rooms.
"And finally...the new way of elimination out of the mountains is actually on the first floor! It is now called the-"
...
There was a whole bunch of specialised tables that looked quite similar to a social space, complete with a protected campfire and the aesthetic of a big room of big decisions in the middle of a hotel, which considering what this season is...means that the rockslide of shame was through a chute.
"The Rockslide of Shame, which shouldn't be very painful, but two of you are getting eliminated every challenge, so get real for a second!" Topher shouted. "You can vote to get whatever you want out, you can find the Chris' statue for invincibility, you can find Chef's statue for...something and honestly, that's it! Don't mess up in a challenge and you should be good, but first..."
Topher made sure that everyone raised their hands...
"...you've gotta eat!"
...not get answered.
To be continued with the third part of the first episode, where the campers "get" to know each other in very odd ways and honestly, their first impressions aren't great and sorry, if there isn't that much character interaction or sorry to G-man 2.0, yeah there's 72 characters at the end of the game!
Don't worry about it, Ultimate Islands isn't even done yet, but Part C should hopefully be coming out soon.
