Demon's Great Hammer:

Demon weapon built from the stone archtrees.

Used by lesser demons at North Undead Asylum.

This hammer is imbued with no special power, but can merrily beat foes to a pulp, providing you have the strength to wield it.


"How?"

The Chosen Undead's simple, gruff statement brought Oscar's fears to the fore.

How will I conquer my second challenge?

Oscar felt the fog swirl around his hand. His armor was still covered in dried blood that stained the blue cloth purple, the golden crest of Astora's might tarnished by mortal weakness.

The Chosen Undead held up their hand, offering what Oscar recognized as a bundle of pine resin, to apply to his sword.

If I cannot defeat it with my own two hands...

Oscar waved the resin away, before locking eyes with the Chosen Undead.

The demon...its hammer is blindingly fast, yet it moves slowly on the ground...its wings cannot lift its body for long.

"I shall attempt to fell the beast by circling around it and attacking it from behind. What will you do?"

The Chosen Undead smiled beneath their visor at Oscar's question.

"Follow."


Red eyes locked with blue. The demon looked up at Oscar as the mist was dispelled. It snarled and hefted its hammer, and Oscar froze. His arm ached with phantom pain, and his pupils began to dilate.

I-

The demon growled, before tensing its legs.

It is a fearsome beast, and I am just a human.

Its wings began to beat as it gathered its strength, and as Oscar saw the Chosen Undead step forward, he saw the crest of Astora upon their armor.

No.

I am a knight of Astora, and this is my first challenge.

The Asylum Demon roared as Oscar leapt and impaled his straight sword into its shoulder. Thick, viscous blood leaked out of its wound as Oscar wrenched the sword downwards, the force of gravity dragging the sword down, tearing through layers of fat and flesh, splitting them open with magical force.

As it screeched, Oscar tore his sword out of its arm, and landed on the ground as the Chosen Undead leaped, and rammed their Claymore into the demon's mouth, piercing straight through its tongue and jaw. They leapt off, leaving the claymore embedded straight through the demon's lower jaw and hefted a Winged Spear.

Oscar braced his shield as the demon furiously flailed its hammer around, breaking tiles and disturbing the dust gathered inside the large room. Each strike sent him backward, but he stayed on his feet, sliding backwards as its rampage shook the dilapitated building. As its relentless attacks slowed slightly, he took the chance and rolled forward, under a swing of its hammer, and stabbed his sword into its rippling layers of fat.

As he did, he saw the Chosen Undead leap forward and bury their spear into its front. The demon, gargling on its own blood, sputtered and gurgled as the Chosen Undead stabbed at it again and again, each of the demon's swings barely missing them. Their every movement was controlled and measured.

Oscar was not. As the demon raised its foot and stomped, his shield was thrown aside, and as he struggled to find his balance, the demon raised its greathammer, smirking through boiling, Chaos-fueled blood, and Oscar's shield dropped to the ground as he stared up, frozen.

I'm sorry, Ana- His thoughts were cut short as a blur of silver and blue tackled him. The Chosen Undead forced Oscar out of the way, the man stumbling as he caught himself, only to see the undead crushed into the floor by the demon.

The Chosen Undead looked up, before pulling up their visor with the last of their strength.

"Hesitation is defeat!" With their last burst of strength, they threw Oscar his Estus Flask, before their body began to crumble.

Oscar saw red.

Two-handing his sword, he ran at the demon. As it swung its hammer again, he rolled over the swing just as the Chosen Undead had done, before running forward and slamming his blade into its foot. The demon shrieked as it reeled, and it brought its hammer down on the man. Oscar, tensed, then rolled sideways, feeling the hammer whiz over his head, before furiously hacking at the demon's leg. The demon shrieked again, and Oscar, blood pounding in his ears, braced himself, before severing the demon's foot.

As it fell onto one knee, its hammer slammed into Oscar's back, and as he skidded across the ground, he dug his shield into the ground to stop himself. The demon roared in a combination of rage and pain, and Oscar roared back, leaping over the hammer and impaling his sword into the monster's front. The demon screeched in pain, its wings beating in a blind panic as it lifted into the air, taking Oscar up with it.

Oscar forced his sword into the demon, using it as leverage to lift himself up, before grabbing onto the Chosen Undead's Claymore. Hanging onto the greatsword with one hand, as the demon slammed down, Oscar buried the Astora's Straight Sword into its throat, before rolling out of the way as the demon thrashed. In its death throes, it grabbed him with a clawed hand.

As it began to squeeze, black and blue spots danced in and out of his vision. Oscar yelled, and desperately tried to free himself, furiously cutting at the demon's hand. It screamed, but only clenched tighter. Oscar braced himself as the demon stumbled backward, before suddenly, a curved sword covered in magical essence severed the demon's hand from the rest of its body.

As the demon toppled over, slamming into the already-cracked floor, Oscar crawled backward, lifting his visor to desperately gulp down Estus. As the life-saving fluid repaired his body, the demon crumbled into dust, leaving only a rusted key.

"Haaah...haaah...I'm alive...You're...undead..." Oscar gasped, before more Estus was splashed into his face. "Stop that...I-'m alright."

As he slowly picked himself up, he saw the Chosen Undead pushing the rusted double doors open to reveal a giant bird's nest, past overgrown graves silhouetted against a grey, static sky in a world that had long since ceased to breathe.

"Well? Anastacia awaits." They said, and Oscar, sword and shield in hand, followed, confident in having overcome his first challenge.

How will I conquer my second challenge?

With the experience from my first, and with my new companion to assist me.

Oscar sniffed as the Chosen Undead kneeled in the nest, leaning against two large eggs.

Despite their strange proclivities, I cannot deny that they are far, far stronger than I am.

"Thank you." He said, sitting next to them, before feeling a giant talon grasp his shoulder.

Oscar turned to look at the undead. "Respectfully? Fuck you."

And so the two undead journeyed to Lordran, one clinging on for dear life, and the other staring into their Estus Flask, wondering about how many souls had used it in years past.


The Crestfallen Warrior's ass hurt.

The fat cleric was annoying, running over every...hour? Half hour? Day? It didn't fucking matter anymore, Lordran was fucked, all that mattered was that he was annoyed.

His longsword was slowly falling apart, dulled and warped from (Months? Years?) ages of disuse. It was beginning to look like his shield. Or like Kara's hair... he chuckled to himself dryly. That bitch was dead or hollow, just like the others. You couldn't get shit in Lordran.

All that was left was the bonfire, the ruined wall he sat on, the fat man and the firekeeper.

That was, until he heard the beating of giant wings. He looked up, seeing the giant crow returning, before squinting.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." He groaned as the bird flew overhead, and the two knights in its claws dropped in front of him.

Character tags: Chosen "Gun to a sword fight" Undead, Oscar "thank god the party shares xp" of Astora, Crestfallen "why breathe when can decease" Warrior, Asylum "who nerfed grab attacks" Demon