Chapter 24 "What You're Doing?" ( Second week in November)
(Song suggestion- "What You're Doing?" by the Beatles)
The next day
Dr. Egon Spengler
I was quite apprehensive about working with Janine for the first time after the convention even though I fortified my willpower the past week through consistent meditation and repeating affirmations. However, the building's atmosphere transformed when she arrived, and I always felt this magnetism drawing me near her since her employment. The hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up without regard to my proximity to Janine upon her arrival to work everyday.
"You can do this, Egon. You have been in control of your feelings and desires for more of your thirty-four years on this earth than not," I methodically recited to myself as I worked in the lab.
Janine Melnitz
On top of being ill at ease about reconciling with Egon after his return from Albany, my stomach started to feel queasy on Sunday night. I took some Pepto Bismol before bed and I hoped that would solve my problem. When I woke up, my stomach hurt dreadfully, and I vomited a bit. The disgusting taste lingered in my mouth even though I brushed my teeth. I hadn't been sexually active in over a year, leaving pregnancy out as a cause for my sudden illness. My spirits deflated a shade as I desired to be reunited with Egon but wished I had felt healthy. The bouncy ride tossed my already bilious stomach around on the subway trip to Manhattan, triggering me to feel worse.
Before entering Ghostbusters HQ, I took a deep breath to calm my ever nauseated stomach and my nerves about seeing Egon. I strolled into the firehouse in an ankle-length black dress with shoulder pads and black pumps on my feet but observed that there wasn't anyone downstairs.
Meanwhile. I felt very feeble even though I ate dry toast for breakfast. My legs throbbed as my heart thumped clamorously in my chest as I prayed that nothing would have varied regarding Egon's feelings towards me. Then again, we hadn't made any commitments to each other, I recalled.
My stomach floundered as I noted that I didn't discern any talking from upstairs, and there was a strange quietness.
"Oh, that's right. Ray had left for Albany last night," I thought to myself.
Gradually, I looked at the stack of papers that needed to be filed on my desk, and Peter's sticky note with a to-do list for me to complete in his horrible handwriting that.I couldn't decipher. I brought it with me as I ascended the stairs to speak to my balding boss.
"Look who's back, Ghostbusters' own, Juliet," Peter obnoxiously greeted me as I made it to the top floor.
My lower body ached, and I still felt poorly so I ignored his attempt to annoy me. Exhausted from climbing the stairs, I put the post-it note on his newspaper, but he was too busy reading.
"I can't read this, Dr. V," I softly inquired.
Unexpectedly, my stomach lurched, and I stood in place holding it for a minute, uneasily. I hobbled into the nearest chair and flopped into it, causing a screeching noise.
"What's wrong, Brooklyn?" Peter quizzically asked behind the newspaper after the annoying sound.
A wave of nausea hit me again, and I felt my stomach turn upside down again.
"Owww," I whimpered.
"Brooklyn," Dr. V. questioned, quickly showing concern by lowering the newspaper.
I covered my mouth for a second because I thought I was going to vomit. I swallowed heavily to keep it down.
"What's wrong, Janine," Peter again asked, cautiously watching me because I didn't answer.
"I woke up feeling sick to my stomach," I answered wearily, attempting to give him a reassuring smile. It didn't work.
"Go home," my boss sternly said, " you look nauseated. It's flu season."
"No, I'm fine. Give me a moment," I snapped, shutting my eyes, "Maybe it would go away."
Dr. Venkman touched my forehead with the back of his hand as I felt his hairy knuckles on my skin there.
"Jesus, you have a fever, too," Peter exclaimed, removing his hand, "you have to go to the doctor."
"No," I softly pouted.
"I'm getting Spengler. You will listen to him, and he will tell you to go home."
"No," I protested as loudly as I could but my protest came out in a squeak. Although I wanted to see Egon, I wasn't ready. I had hoped I would feel better in a couple of hours.
"I'm fine, Dr. V.," I replied calmly. He viewed me like I had grown two heads and rapidly stepped into the lab to retrieve Egon. I didn't even argue but instead, put my head on the table. My stomach had started to hurt very profoundly thirty seconds ago, and I tried not to cry.
Dr. Egon Spengler
"Iggy, will you please come here," Peter requested, walking into the lab at a quick pace as I examined a sample of ectoplasm from a ghost from last week. It was intriguing and unusual.
"Hmmm?"
"Egon, I need your help ," Venkman urged in a displeased tone of voice as he approached me. I felt his eyes on me as I made notes on the intriguing specimen.
"Hmmm?"
"Janine's ill," he finally revealed.
Without realizing it, I glanced up from the microscope at my friend in concern and my pulse increased.
"She refuses to go home."
"What can I do," I soberly asked, even though I felt my hands sweat at hearing that Janine was ill.
"I know you, Iggy, remember? You have this back and forth thing where you are OK with being in love with Janine for a little while, and then you aren't, and you withdraw. You shouldn't blame her for your lack of preparedness or professionalism at the convention. She didn't do it; YOU did!" he argued softly so our secretary wouldn't hear, narrowing his eyes at me.
Peter's defense of Janine made sense, but I felt resolute that it was her fault that my attention was so divided.
"First, I'm not in love with Janine. Second, she didn't, however, if I hadn't gotten involved with her, then I wouldn't have forgotten about it," I irrationally countered, standing up from the stool.
We squabbled for a couple more minutes over minuscule details before I acquiesced. Bracing myself, I repeated inwardly,
"I am in control of my emotions. I am in control of my emotions."
When I saw Janine, all that mumbo jumbo from the affirmations went out of the window. Her head was down on the kitchen table, and it sounded like she was sobbing quietly. I attempted to ignore the enormous amount of empathy I felt for her. Janine looked like she was holding her stomach, and I gave Peter a troubled side glance. He then mouthed, "I told you," and I scowled back at him.
Lowering my body into the chair next to Janine at the table, she turned her head the other way to avoid me seeing her.
Keeping the emotion out of my voice, I questioned how she felt.
"Uhm…not well. I feel like vomiting, but it will go away. It's been like this all morning", she replied, not lifting her head.
"Are you pregnant," Peter inquired playfully.
"No," Janine irritatedly yelled at Venkman, giving him a dirty look then putting her head down again so I couldn't see her eyes. I shook my head at his attempt to be funny and gave him a grave glare to shut him up.
"When did you start vomiting," I softly asked, attempting to soothe her with my tranquil tone of voice as Janine was not feeling well.
"Last night when I came back from my health club playing racquetball, I felt queasy," she added.
"Will you look at me, Janine, so I can see your face," I gently questioned her because I was distressed about her health. The Brooklynite usually wouldn't conceal herself from anyone, mainly me, but she was right now.
"Please?"
After raising her head, Janine slowly turned to face me with a fragile facial expression. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her face was bright with fever. Additionally, our beautiful secretary's bangs were wet with sweat, and she appeared to be much sicker than I had initially thought. I automatically frowned.
"You have to go home, Janine. You are sick," I informed her tenderly, putting the back of my hand on her hot forehead. As usual, I felt a shock when we touched, but I didn't react. I mouthed to Venkman to retrieve our thermometer, and he nodded without a word.
"No," Janine whispered in protest, keeping her head downward.
A scowl formed on my lips as I lightly argued, using an unyielding tone of voice, "You are burning up. Janine, you have to go home and see a doctor."
"I am in control of my emotions and actions at all times," I repeated silently.
Peter returned with the thermometer, and we compelled Janine to take her temperature against her will.
Sitting up, the petite woman still wouldn't observe me, and she kept her head high to show her unhappiness about having her temperature taken. I attempted not to stare at Janine as we waited for the thermometer to gauge her fever, but she had one, as I predicted.
"102," I read the thermometer's result out loud, displeased as she put her head back down on the table.
"Ohhh," she mewled in agony.
"Janine, why don't we drive you home," Peter helpfully offered.
"Yes, a client called before you arrived here, and we need to leave in fifteen minutes. Why don't you call your doctor to make an appointment first then lay down," I suggested, looking at my watch first.
Bobbing her head up and down, Janine concurred. Venkman spoke to her reassuringly and helped her to the sofa. Meanwhile, I went into the kitchen, and I swiftly grabbed a glass from the cupboard to put cool water for her to drink.
"Drink this, please," I commanded politely when I returned. Lifting her head, Janine gave me a small toothless smile on her ashen face then took a few sips from the cup of water.
"Thank you," she faintly whispered, putting the cup on the coffee table and shutting her eyes after lying down. Facing Peter, I ignored all the desires in my heart to comfort Janine. It was extremely challenging, but I headed to my bedroom to change clothing.
"Come on, Venkman, let's get going. Janine needs to go home," I suggested.
While we dressed for our bust, we heard our frail secretary call her doctor's office to make an appointment after describing her symptoms. Next, Janine called her roommate, Wendy, to request a ride since she didn't own a car.
Our secretary's balance was off and she was wobbly when rising from the sofa. Consequently, I loosely put my right arm around my former love's waist tightly before we slowly walked towards the stairs. Janine took small and shaky steps as we descended the stairs, and I tightened my grip around her a little to ensure her safety. However, I didn't recognize the acute joyfulness that I felt her nearness nor how I enjoyed having my arm around her slim waist.
Downstairs, Janine unlocked her desk drawer and grabbed her purse from the bottom shelf. She stood still for a second to stand up after locking it, appearing green in the face. I ensured Janine safely made it into the front passenger seat in Ecto One,and then assisted Peter in putting the particle throwers in the back.
We arrived in Brooklyn Heights in one piece although Venkman was a horrible driver, and I bet Janine's stomach wasn't helped by his zig-zagging in and out of lanes. As I opened the car door for her outside the apartment complex, she slowly wobbled out of the vehicle with her hand over her mouth. I told Venkman to wait as I helped Janine upstairs to her apartment, and he nodded.
"Egon, I feel awful," she complained, finally speaking to me. Janine glanced up at me with her sad blue eyes, and I felt my heart melt. She tightly held onto me as we strode to the complex's front door, and I put my arm around our secretary's waist a little more firmly to stabilize her.
"I master my emotions by changing my thoughts," I repeated silently, "I master my emotions by changing my thoughts."
"Janine, I wish I could take it away from you and make you feel better," I sympathetically stated, giving her a small half-grin as I looked down at her. Opening the door for her, she hobbled into the building.
Janine handed her keys to me to open her apartment door. After we rode the elevator up fourteen floors, she let out a little whimper of pain. I felt incredibly helpless to make her feel better.
"It will be ok," I reassured her, pulling her closer to me for her to lean on me, "you are almost home."
When we made it to her door, I rapidly opened, shut and locked it. Janine stumbled into her bedroom, collapsing on her bed.
"What time is your appointment," I inquired, noticing that she was face down on her bed and almost asleep already. Carefully, I removed Janine's black high heels from her feet, touching her silky pantyhose as I did so. My mind drifted to removing that item from her body on the night of the gala, but I shook my head vehemently to stop them from going further. Janine told me slowly that it was at two in the afternoon but that Wendy would pick her up a quarter after one.
"Why don't you change into something else," I suggested to Janine.
"No, I want to sleep," she whined like a little girl who didn't want to go to bed yet. Janine's cute nasal accent was pronounced when she was sick, but I dismissed it so it wouldn't linger in my mind.
"Please," I begged with a little softness in my voice to persuade her.
Finally, the Brooklynite consented by huffing loudly then requested help off of the bed. I swallowed heavily as I offered my hand to pull Janine lightly up to a standing position.
"Let me help you remove your jacket," I offered, putting my right hand on waist to steady her. Her face was a slight green color, I noticed.
Shrugging her black jacket off of her body, Janine mumbled "thanks" as I took it and she wobbled into the bathroom to change clothes.
I dutifully put her jacket in the hallway closet then I padded into the familiar looking kitchen. Now, I searched for a cup then I poured Janine a cool glass of water from the tap and put some ice cubes from the freezer in it, too. I could hear her retching, regrettably, in the background and an excruciating pain shot through my heart.
For the moment, Janine had changed into a light blue long sleeve cotton pajamas and presently, she laid down on her back with the blankets over her body. I thought she still seemed utterly attractive as I viewed her lying distressed in her bed.
Next, I put the glass of water on her night stand then went into her bathroom. I found a Tylenol bottle in Janine's medicine cabinet, and I removed two then placed them on the counter. Above the toilet, I opened the cabinet, found a washcloth and wet it with cold water from the tap to put on Janine's forehead after squeezing excessive water from dripping out of it. I fretfully padded over to her bed, still nervous about her fever, and I placed the washcloth on the sickly woman's torrid forehead.
"Oh, that feels good," Janine whined. A few minutes later, I requested that she sit up to drink some water and take Tylenol.
"We need to break your fever," I elucidated to Janine when she appeared weary about moving.
"I am in control of my emotions and actions at all times. You have been in control of your actions for 98% of thirty-three years of your life and can continue to do so." I silently repeated, through gritted teeth as Janine sat up, took a sip of water from the cup, and swallowed the Tylenol. There was nothing but love for her in my heart.
After Janine drank enough for me to be happy, Janine laid back down. I placed the cold washcloth on her head, and she looked slightly relieved when I did so. Unhappily, I sat on the edge of her bed, watching Janine suffer as she tried to sleep.
"What else can I get you?"
"Nothing. You have been wonderful, Egon. Thank you. You have gone through a lot of trouble," Janine whispered, opening her eyes to view me. She looked sickly, and her pretty blue eyes seemed sorrowful.
"It's not any, Janine; I'm bothered about your health," I declared earnestly, " I don't like to see you feeling poorly. Please take another sip."
As she drank some more water, I turned on the radio on her nightstand to a low volume, knowing that it might comfort her a little. I grinned when I heard it was on an oldies station because it was a Beatles song. Even Janine smirked a little. We were both enormous fans of the band, and they sang in the background, "Wondering what you're gonna do?"
"This is not exactly how I wanted you to see me after you came back from Albany," Janine confessed wryly. Her aqua eyes widened to see my face, and they contained a little anxiety.
"Shh, don't worry about that, " I dismissed the petite woman's concern quickly and moved the washcloth from her forehead to her cheeks. Janine sighed in relief and closed her eyes again as it touched her hot skin in the back of her hand.
"May I call you later to see if you feel better," I asked sincerely, "I'm afraid it won't be for a while."
"Yes, of course, you may , Egon," Janine agreed as she unfastened her eyes again, "you should go, though, so you don't catch this bug."
Reluctantly, I pulled the blankets over her body up to her chin. I stood up to rewet her washcloth in colder water from her bathroom faucet and placed it back on her head. Janine seemed delighted that I was taking care of her, making me feel good. Lastly, I refilled her glass with water and ice cubes and replaced it on her nightstand. I also put a trashcan by Janine's bed in case she became sick again.
"I wish you didn't have to go, Egon. You never said anything about the convention. How was it?"
I wish she hadn't mentioned Albany, as I still felt chagrined by my unprofessionalism. My blood boiled a little, but I changed the subject quickly, "It didn't go well, but...Uhm...have I ever described one of my favorite places outside of Cleveland to you?"
Perplexed by my statement about the convention, Janine's eyes widened in concern. She slightly shook her beautiful head at my question. Then she lightly muttered, "No."
"It's in a forest two hours away, and somewhere my uncle, brother, and I would often camp when we were younger. We would get inner tubes on hot summer evenings and float down the —- river. So I would like you to imagine that you are sitting on an inner tube next to mine, and we are floating on a slow meandering river through the woods. I am pointing out the different plants and trees native to the area. You are completely relaxed, feeling great, and not worried about anything. Your fingertips from your left hand touch the water as you glide through the cool water, watching the quiet trees along the river, and your other hand is holding onto my inner tube.."
Janine fell asleep without any issue, and I felt happy that I could assist her. I however did not let my mind wander in the direction of the rest of that daydream because it sounded pretty tempting and something I wished to do with her.
Although the redheaded beauty was ill, Janine seemed to me like a luminous angel in a dark sky. I felt extraordinarily disconsolate when I recalled my decision to cease seeing her socially.
"How quickly had I forgotten my decision when I was with her? Like a flash," I pondered.
Before saying goodbye to Janine, I caressed her cheek with my right hand and then kissed her forehead softly.
"Sleep well, I hope you recover expeditiously. I will call you later," I murmured in her ear gently. Once again, I viewed her as Janine slept and I felt tears pop in my eyes. I didn't like feeling incapable of assisting her further, and that's exactly how I felt.
By and by, I withdrew from the apartment to meet Peter in Ecto 1. He studied a map with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and mumbled to himself.
"Is Janine ok," Venkman inquired, still clearly preoccupied with what he saw earlier. He began to fold up the map after he started the car. It made me happy that Peter exhibited concern about our Janine.
"No, I don't think she is all right this second. I feel bad about leaving her, but all she is doing is sleeping right now for the next hour and forty-five minutes. Wendy's taking her to the doctor at 1:15," I somberly replied, looking out the window.
"I know, big guy. It feels awful when you can't help someone that you care about, and they are in pain or ill," Peter remarked sympathetically and began to drive us to our client at noon in the Bronx.
That would be the extent of our reunion after my trip to the convention, and I felt both slightly relieved and discouraged.
"This is what I want, right," I inquired to myself and then felt unsettled. Agitatedly, I wondered how I could be so confident of my decision to stop seeing Janine socially one day and change it the next. I aggressively pounded my fists on my legs without knowing it until Peter noticed and questioned me about my actions. Quickly, I gave him some lame excuse as he dubiously continued to ramble on about his latest girlfriend, Bianca. Then I duplicated my affirmations in my head wordlessly to keep Janine off of my mind.
Wendy Walterson
Since I owned a red Toyota Civic at that time and Janine did not own a vehicle, I volunteered to drive her to her family's doctor in the older part of Brooklyn. The interior designing company that I worked for at the time were flexible enough with my hours to allow me to do so, and I arrived to discover Janine sleeping in her bed peacefully.
"Wake up, sweetie; I am here to take you to the doctor," I said to her, gazing at my friend's feverish face sympathetically.
"Ohh... God, do I ever feel bad."
"I will get you some fresh cool water as you change. Have you been vomiting," I answered reassuringly, patting her head, like a puppy,
Peering downward, I checked the wastepaper basket on the floor next to her bed and saw that it was empty, thankfully. I then grabbed her cup from the nightstand that held some water in it.
As Janine slowly disembarked from her bed, I went to the kitchen to refill her water. I noticed a note from the theoretical physicist on my old college dry erase board that said, "Thank you for taking Janine to the doctor. Egon".
I appreciated that he took the time to ensure Janine made it home without a problem and forced her to rest. My roommate wasn't an ideal patient as she was very stubborn plus disliked following directions, and taking medicine. Egon seemed like an excellent match for my roommate, and I enjoyed speaking to him a few Sundays ago. Nevertheless, I was weary of his indecision about Janine as she easily was hurt by his actions.
Ten minutes later, I checked on Janine as I made myself a quick PBJ sandwich for my lunch and was noshing on it. She was dressed in jeans and a King's College sweatshirt, appearing haggard. I helped her walk to the living room, where she quietly put on her white tennis shoes.
"How did the reunion with Egon go," I inquired.
"What reunion?" Janine gloomily answered, shaking her head. Covering her mouth, she coughed then explained, " felt poorly on the subway, and when I arrived at work. Once Peter got his head out of his a-- and noticed I was sick, he had to retrieve Egon to persuade me to go home. I was looking forward to seeing him today."
"Oh," I commented but I was unsure of what to say as she stood up. Janine informed me of the great care that Egon took of her, and I was impressed by his actions.
We strolled out of our apartment, rode the elevator downstairs, and then ambled to my car. As I checked my watch, it read twenty-five minutes to one, and I knew it would take twenty minutes to get to the doctor. I made sure that Janine was in the car and buckled before peeling out of the parking lot.
"This isn't a race, Wendy," she protested, turning a deeper shade of green, "you are as bad of a driver as Dr. V.."
"I have to make sure you are on time, dear," I retorted, rolling my brown eyes upwards.
" Wendy, I have this bad feeling that Egon's withdrawing me from again," Janine confessed, looking at her hands as she fidgeted.
"Why do you say that," I wondered out loud, stopping the car at a red light.
"Egon tried to conceal his emotions despite his obvious concern for me, and he was unhappy," Janine sadly lamented.
"Did something happen in Albany?" I watched as Janine feebly shrugged her shoulders.
"I don't understand Egon's reason for flip flopping on his relationship so much with you. I mean, he has admitted that he cares deeply for you, and it's clear to me that he loves you by his actions," I thought out loud, annoyed.
Forlornly, Janine concealed her despair and unhappiness by turning her face towards the window. I could see her wiping tears away, and they weren't from her stomach bug either. Gripping the steering wheel tightly, I believed she had every right to be fed up with Egon.
Janine Melnitz
My doctor told me that I had come down with the stomach flu, and I couldn't go back to work until I didn't have a fever. Plus, I could not return without vomiting for twenty-four hours. He also gave me antibiotics to take.
Egon did call me that night to check in on me to hear the doctor's prognosis. However, our conversation was still extraordinarily stilted. It was apparent that he felt anxious about his feelings for me again. Although I thanked him for taking care of me earlier in the day, my hopes for a romantic reunion were over.
As painful as that was, the stomach flu was worse. I returned to work the following Saturday, and Egon resorted to disregarding me like I wasn't there unless it was work-related. Sometimes, he would even leave me notes instead of speaking to me, which wounded me even more because it was very impersonal. One time I tried to speak to him privately about having lunch together but he shut that down instantaneously.
My heart felt broken due to his inaction, and it was torturous. However, if Egon didn't want to pursue anything with me, that was it. Our romance was short lived, and now seemed over. Although I had been over-patient with Egon's wishy-washy feelings, I felt he had pushed me too far. I realized that Doris was right in cautioning me about Egon a while back.
