Chapter Four
AN – Better late than never, but here is chapter 4! Chapter 5 and 6 should be imminent too as I have them ready to go. Please drop a review or PM if you enjoy it – fanfic doesn't tend to send me many notifications but I will check back regularly!
Angeal sat on a bench on the edge of the square, staring ahead with unseeing eyes. He felt… hollow. Like he had failed Zack. All the promise the boy showed, all his training and guidance, just to be gunned down as a criminal by the company that should have looked after him as one of their own.
He took a deep breath. He had become disillusioned with Shinra. The deliberate collapse of the Sector Seven plate had opened his eyes to what it truly was, after all. But then this. This turned that disapproval and stoked it until it burnt hot. He had accepted his own fate. He had accepted, to a certain extent, Sephiroth's transformation and Genesis's likely death. But Zack… Zack was a true innocent and had a heart of gold. He closed his eyes and thought of Zack's shining, trusting and open expression. This, he could not accept.
A touch on his arm startled him, his eyes flew open and he absently reached for his sword before he realised he had left it at the inn. Aerith stepped back, expression a little wary. Angeal sighed and shook his head.
"…Sorry."
She didn't say anything, but sat next to him on the bench and folded her hands into her lap. "You know, Zack was the first person I ever loved."
Angeal turned towards her, looking at the profile of her face as she looked at her hands.
"I knew he was missing…" Aerith continued softly. "Five years ago. I just assumed he'd found someone else and lost interest in me - he was a real ladies' man, you know? And it wasn't unusual, we saw a lot of that kind of thing in the slums. But I never imagined…" She heaved a sigh. "It wasn't until I felt him pass on that I realised that I never really believed that. Maybe I was just trying to convince myself, as I didn't want to think the alternative." Now she turned to Angeal, her green eyes boring into him. "I feel guilt, for making such an assumption, but… Zack would not want me to wallow in guilt or self-pity. That is not who he is. He would not want you to either, for actions that happened outside of your control."
Angeal looked at her sincere expression, and the tight knot of fury began to lessen. He shuffled his gaze down to his feet. "I'm not sure how I feel." He admitted eventually. "I think there is guilt, yes… but also anger. Anger at the circumstances. Anger that I wasn't there, and that I don't understand what happened to stop me being there. Anger against Shinra, who have so much to answer for. Anger even against Cloud, which I know is unjustified and unfair. But if he hadn't been there, then Zack might still be alive… but that is who Zack was. He would never leave a friend behind." He braced his hands on his thighs.
A small hand covered his tentatively. "It's ok to be angry." Aerith said quietly. "I am. I'm angry that he didn't see through Shinra's lies early enough to avoid everything, angry that he didn't come back to me. He always had to try to be the hero, you know? I never got to say goodbye. But… don't let it rule you, please?"
The hand withdrew back to her own lap. Angeal blew out a breath and nodded curtly, seeing the wisdom in her words. Taking solace from each other's company, they settled into a silence filled with their shared pain.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Tifa scrubbed at her skin, as though the memories could be washed away if she just tried hard enough. She had thought that she had moved on from the events five years prior, but hearing Cloud retell it… she could almost feel the flames licking at her skin, the ash in her hair, her father's blood sticking to her fingers. With a sob she slumped down to the floor of the shower, letting the water wash over her.
Eventually, the water ran cold and Tifa's tears ran dry. She shut the power off and dried herself, pulling on a pair of pyjamas she'd bought when they'd had the break in the recounting. Tonight, she wanted comfort.
As she brushed her hair, she looked through the window at the darkening square. Aerith, after making sure that Tifa was alright, had disappeared outside when she saw Angeal sitting alone on a bench. Tifa could see them still, sitting side by side in the quiet dusk. Idly, she wondered where Genesis was as she had expected him to be the one standing by his friend. Though from the little Aerith had told her, she knew that the two of them would most mourn the loss of Zack Fair.
Tifa could just about remember Zack. He had been tall and muscular, with bright blue eyes and a shock of black hair. A couple of years older than she was, yet he had seemed so grown up and mature to her at the time. She recalled that he had been friendly and affable, probably a perfect match for the bubbly Aerith. To Tifa, though, due to the events that followed his memory would always be tainted by association with the worst period of her life so far.
Although that particular label had now been challenged by Shinra dropping the plate onto the Sector Seven slums.
She shook herself out of her reverie and decided to go and look for Cloud and Barret. She needed the familiarity of her friends right now.
Tifa knocked tentatively on the door to the other room, not knowing who was in it. Cloud answered, his frown lifting when he saw her. "Can I come in?" She asked, wrapping her arms around herself. He nodded and opened the door wider so she could slide in.
"Hey," she started. "I just…" she trailed off as movement in the other half of the room disturbed her. Sephiroth came into view, and she wasn't quite quick enough to smother the momentary flash of fear on her face. She hugged her arms around herself again. "Can we go back to my room?" She suggested.
Cloud looked over at Sephiroth, his brows drawing together. Sephiroth gave the smallest nod, after which Cloud relaxed slightly. He followed her as she walked back into her room, sitting on the bed and facing the window. He sat next to her, unbuckling his shoulder pauldron and dropping it on the floor before sighing deeply.
"Are you ok?" Tifa asked gently. Cloud shrugged in response. Tifa played with her hands in her lap. "All those memories…"
Cloud huffed slightly. "Most of which are Zack's," he said dryly.
Tifa frowned. "I don't understand…"
Cloud furrowed his brow. "Something happened to us, maybe while I had mako poisoning. I… got Zack's memories. That's why I thought I was a SOLDIER First Class. I also picked up his skills, which I guess is kinda useful." Tifa smiled at that.
"Does that mean you remember Angeal? From before?"
"Kind of? Not really, I just get flashes every now and then. It's probably why Aerith felt so familiar too." Cloud looked out of the window, at the moon rising over the rooftops. "But I don't remember a lot. Not of Zack's past, nor my own. I don't remember much from when we were kids, Tifa. I just get odd bits and pieces sometimes."
Tifa didn't speak, but she put one arm around Cloud's waist and lay her head gently on his shoulder.
There was a swish of fabric and a shift in the mattress as Aerith settled on Cloud's other side, before she mimicked Tifa's arm around his waist. "Why are we hugging Cloud?" She asked eventually.
Cloud smiled and rolled his eyes at her. "Because mako wiped my memories of my childhood, and what remains is mixed up with Zack's. I'm fairly certain I didn't catch frogs as a kid."
Tifa snorted. "Not many frogs in Nibelheim, just wolves."
Aerith hugged tighter. "That's ok. We're here for you." She rested her head against Cloud's other shoulder and with the arm around his back, gripped Tifa's upper arm and squeezed reassuringly. "We can make a club; Shinra Survivors' Association – or SSA for short."
Tifa laughed weakly. "It sounds official."
"Oh yeah." Aerith nodded. "I'll make pin badges and everything."
Cloud closed his eyes, revelling in the closeness from his two friends that accepted him despite his issues. For the first time he could remember, he let himself bask in the peace that thought brought him.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Angeal trudged up the stairs to their room, prepared to try to sleep even though he knew it would be difficult tonight. But as he reached the landing, he paused at the top. Sephiroth was stood in the doorway of their room, but he was staring into the room the girls were sharing. As Angeal approached, bright green cat eyes locked briefly with his before Sephiroth swept back into their room in a swirl of black and silver.
Angeal took a moment to look at what drew Sephiroth's attention. In the other room, facing away from him, three figures were sitting on the edge of one of the beds. Cloud was in the middle, spikey hair distinctive despite the drawing darkness. Tifa and Aerith flanked him, their arms curled around him and their heads resting close to his. Angeal smiled gently at the sight.
Only Sephiroth was in their room and he was staring out of the window when Angeal entered. Their room faced away from the square, overlooking some of the smaller houses and side streets of the town. Street lamps bounced light down onto the cobbles, while slivers that escaped the shutters drew bright lines across the road. In the sky above, the first stars were beginning to emerge. A hushed quiet had fallen over the town, very different from the noise and bustle of Midgar that they were all used to.
Angeal stepped up next to Sephiroth, standing next to him. "So, the last seven years have apparently been pretty messed up."
"That is perhaps an understatement."
"Hmmm." Angeal drummed a hand against the windowsill. "How about we do something about it?"
Sephiroth turned to him, one elegant brow raised. "How do you suggest we do that?"
Angeal scratched at the stubble on his chin. "Well, how about we start with stopping your insane future self and work back from there?"
For the first time all day, a smile threatened to break out on Sephiroth's face. "It's a workable plan."
They stood together for a few moments more, but their peace was shattered when the door slammed loudly. They both turned to find the culprit storming straight into the room and flopping onto one of the beds.
Only to curse and clutch at his injured shoulder as he landed on it awkwardly. Angeal raised an eyebrow. "Your walk didn't calm you down, then?"
Genesis glared at him. "Oh, I was calm. I was very calm. I had rationalised that it was a history that we weren't around for and all we can do is to try to help them now. But then, then I saw him in there, with them draped all over him. My soul, corrupted by vengeance, hath endured torment…"
Angeal blinked. "Cloud? And Tifa and Aerith?"
Genesis just waved a hand as to say 'of course'. Sephiroth stiffly turned back to look out of the window. Angeal looked from one to the other and rubbed his forehead. "You both… honestly. After all the revelations of today, really?"
"I wished to speak to Cloud." Sephiroth replied, a defensive tone in his voice.
"Well he is busy comforting and being comforted by his friends, which given everything we've heard today is only reasonable."
Sephiroth's brow drew together as it did when he was thinking deeply about something. "Do you require comfort, Angeal? I am aware that you will have found it difficult to hear about Zack."
Angeal sat heavily on the bed opposite the one Genesis was lying on. "It was difficult. Not just that he is dead, I had already assumed that because why else would Cloud be wielding my old sword? But the manner of his death… I want to avenge him." He looked up at Sephiroth. "I want Shinra to pay for his death, for your madness, for whatever happened to Genesis and I."
"A vendetta, then? You should ask Barret if he is taking volunteers for Avalanche." Genesis's tone was snide, but he was watching Angeal with curious eyes.
"I don't want to blow up reactors." Angeal said sharply. "Too many innocent people have been caught in the crossfire. I want to discredit them, to strip them of their power." He sighed. "But I'm not going to start a fight we cannot win. We need to stop the other Sephiroth first. Then we can talk about fighting Shinra."
"You know I'm all in for givin' Shinra what's coming to 'em." Barret said loudly as he came in, followed by Red and Cloud. "But yer right, we need to go save the damn Planet first."
"First the Planet, then Shinra." Cloud murmured. "It's a plan."
Genesis scowled, sitting up gingerly on the bed. Barret's eyes roved around the room before he tossed something to Angeal.
"Here, it's a PHS. We're gonna need to stay in contact now we ain't in Midgar anymore." Angeal looked at the phone, seeing there were already a couple of numbers programmed in. "I got us a couple," Barret explained. "Easy to miss each other out here."
Genesis arched a brow. "Surely you must have had one before?"
"Not much need for one in the slums." Barret shrugged. "Not like you can get any signal down there."
"And yet our technology always worked fine." Genesis challenged back.
"Oh yeah? Your special Shinra tech? Course it did, but normal people don't get that luxury. No point in providing anything for the slums, is there? Not that people could afford it anyway, with the price tags Shinra sticks on it." Barret had been getting quite loud, but now he subsided to a grumble. He muttered to himself as he pulled his bag out from underneath his bed to pack some supplies into it, but as his audience consisted of four enhanced SOLDIERs (or a nearly SOLDIER, in Cloud's case) and a quadruped with naturally good hearing, they all clearly heard him call Genesis an entitled prick.
Said SOLDIER stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door for good measure. Barret just grunted at him. "Get some rest, we got an early start tomorrow." With that, he flung himself onto one of the beds. Within minutes his loud snoring filled the room.
Cloud quirked a lip. "At least we aren't going to lose him."
Red looked up with a pained expression. "Next time, remind me to sleep outside."
