His childhood years were the best years of his life, that's what he always told him. It wasn't because of some achievement or award he made, it wasn't because he started an activity that he loved so much that he became so good at it, and as much as it did bring him joy, it definitely wasn't because he found the glory of life that is the Sea Salt Ice cream.
But it was because his mother was still there to watch him grow. He remembered every little detail of every single memory he spend together with her, every second spent with her, was a second he chesrished with all of his life.
To him, she was the light of his life that shown so brightly, as if she was the human embodiment, shining ever so brightly in his dreams, vanquishing all the shadows that plagued him. With her around, he remembered he would always have the biggest smile on his face.
That's why, when it happened, the dream vanished and soon begun the forever nightmare. A world without his mother, a world without his sun.
He remembered the restless nights, crying himself to sleep, unable to grasp the fact that his mother was no longer in the house, no longer in this world with him. Oh how life had felt back them, getting up everyday, being forced to no longer expect his mother to greet him at the table.
Oh how he wished he could have it all back.
To go back to the life that he had before.
To go back to where everything felt better.
To go back into the arms of his mother, so that he can give her one more hug.
To say Naminé was worried was practically an understatement. Her heart practically felt like it dropped out the moment she saw Roxas collapse onto the ground. At that moment, she wished jhard to speak, just so that she could call out his name.
But she couldn't. She knew as much as she tried, nothing would be heard.
It was fortunate enough that his friends and heard the commotion and their reaction was practically the same. She had never heard Xion scream that hard before as everyone quickly running up to him. It was more fortunate that it wasn't anything too serious, as he was just passed out, but the situation was so dire that the mother of the boy offered to call the ambulance which Axel and the other guys politely declined, stating that getting him to a hospital would make it worse for him.
So that resorted to carrying the unconscious Roxas back to the hotel room. And so one taxi ride later here she was, in Roxas' and Axel's room, sitting on the bed opposite to Roxas who was still unconscious.
She sat there, still trying to take what happened in. She remembered the ball rolling closer and closer to Roxas, and suddenly he stopped moving, he screamed, then fainted right on the spot.
W-What's going to happen to him?
She looked like the only one who was worried sick about him. Not everyone was in the room as it would be too cramped so for the time being, it was just her, Axel and Xion. The others went out to buy some food when Roxas wakes up.
Her thoughts vanished as she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry Naminé, we're all worried about him, and this isn't the first time it happened," she explained.
Naminé's eyes widened. Not the first time? So this happened before? Just him reacting like that, and collapsing?
"It hasn't happened for a while, so we thought it stopped," Axel spoke, his face twisted in anger, "That's why I thought a trip back to Twilight Town would be good for him, but I guess I was wrong, damn it!" He punched the wall in anger. Thankfully, their room was at the end of the corridor so there was no bystander who heard the punch.
"No one would have known Axel," Xion comforted him, "You only did what you thought was best for him,"
Naminé took out her phone and typed out her message. She didn't want to pry but she could take it, her friend was unconscious right in front of her and she still don't know anything.
Does Roxas have anything against Twilight Town? Naminé messaged Xion, the latter quickly reading the message.
She gulped. "Well, in a way yes, but unfortunately, I can't say, it's best if you heard it from him directly," she turned to him. "It's not really my place to say but…" her lips trembled, "Let's just say, there's a reason why he's always so..you know, happy? Optimistic?" she giggled.
"It's his best feature, yet sometimes, his most annoying," Axel chimed it.
"But all you have to know, is that you don't have to worry too much. He's a strong guy," Xion smiled, "He'll wake up in no time,"
"Wow, that must be the nicest thing you said about me," a voice made everyone jump. They all turned to Roxas with his tired eyes open as he slowly sat up. "I should pass out more often if you're going to say more stuff like that,"
He got his reply in the form strong punch to the shoulder.
"Oww! Hey come one, show some sympathy for the guy who passed out!"
"Idiot!" Xion shouted in anger.
Axel fake sniffed. "That was one strong punch. Oh they grow up so fast,"
As Roxas rubbed his now sore shoulder, he turned to Naminé who immediately jumped forward and wrapped her arms around his body, catching everyone off guard. He flinched at the movement, but suddenly, a feeling grew in his chest. He felt her arms wrapping around him tighter.
A warm, comforting feeling. Something he hasn't felt in a long time.
He gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry for making you worry," he spoke softly.
Naminé withdrew slowly from his body. Her face slightly red with embarrassment. Roxas noticed tears forming at her eyes, the guilt inside him becoming even more intense. He looked around the room.
"Hey, where are the others?"
"They went to get some food just in case, they should be on their way back soon,"
As if on cue, Axel's phone vibrated from a notification. The redhead checked his phone.
"Well speak of the devil, they're at the lobby, I'll go get them since they can't come up without a card," Axel said as he left the room, leaving him with the two other girls.
"Well it's just me in a room with 2 other girls, how lucky can I get?" he joked. This resulted in him getting another punch to the shoulder form Xion. "Ow!"
"For real Roxas, how are you feeling?" she asked as she sat on the bed next to Naminé.
Roxas sighed. "I'm fine Xion, there's nothing to worry about-"
"Don't even get there," she raised her voice. "Roxas you collapsed all of sudden right there! You practically gave us a heart attack!"
"Well I'm sorry that I can't help it!" he argued back, suddenly raising his voice. Realising what he did, his face fell as he turned away and looked down on the sheets. "S-Sorry, I didn't mean to shout like that,"
Xion's posture relaxed a bit. "Same here, look Roxas, if there's anything, you know we're here for you right? If there's anything we can do, please say something, we're your friends,"
Naminé nodded, agreeing with Xion's statement. Roxas gave a little smile. Truly, it was times like this where he really appreciated having friends like Xion and Axel with him. For him, even with Naminé being there with him felt more comforting to him despite not knowing as long as he did with his Sea Salt gang, but yet, he couldn't help and he wouldn't deny it. He did enjoy her company.
"I know, Xion, really it's just-"
The door swung open and in came Axel, the other's following behind him as he held a plastic bag.
"Well someone woke up from his siesta," Hayner said.
"Jokes on you, the ground was softer than you think, you should try hitting your head on it," he wiggled his eyebrows. Hayner responded with a middle finger. "Ouch,"
Olette sat at the foot of the bed. "Anyways, how are you-"
"I'm not dead, I just passed out, and I'm fineeeeee," he emphasized on that last word, already knowing what Olette was going to say.
"Aaaand he's back go normal," Pence added.
"But," he began, a tired look forming on his face. "I don't think I have it in me to go out today, honestly, I am fine, but at the same time I'm just exhausted," he said as he leaned against the bed frame.
Xion placed a hand on his shoulder. "That's a good idea, we don't want you accidentally passing out again later," she joked as she turned to Axel. "I think we brought a few board games just in case, Axel, could you get them out?"
"Wait Board games? For what?" Roxas asked as Xion turned back at him.
"Well to play of course, we're not going to just sit here and play with our phones all day," Xion retorted.
Roxas crossed his arms and shook his head. "Nope nuh uh, just because I'm down for the count doesn't mean you all should, the day is still young! Why not you guys go out and chill?"
Axel walked towards the bed. "We're not going to just leave you here, you know," Axel started.
And thus begun the argument between them three. As the bystander, Naminé just watched as Roxas kept on saying that they should just go and not waste their time in the room while the other two fought back saying they wouldn't leave it. It almost sounded like a heated argument, but at the same time, it was a cute one. At least that's what she thought.
The argument went on even up to the point when Pence took out one of the snacks meant for Roxas and started munching on them.
"Will you worrywats calm down? I'm perfectly fine of staying in a room by myself. Seeing you guys here will just keep making me feel bad you know," he tried to protest.
"Yeah…no," Xion set her foot down. "As if I'm letting you-"
Her words were cut of as her she felt someone tapping on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Naminé staring at here while holding her phone up. That was when she felt the notification buzz in her pocket.
She pulled it out and read the message.
Umm, maybe I can stay in the room to watch over him. I'm feeling a little bit tired as well since I'm not really used to walking this much.
She ended her statement with a sweatdrop emoji.
Roxas, who was reading the message as well, was taken aback. "What? Naminé you don't really have to-"
His words were cut off Naminé silenced him with a look, shaking her head at him.
"But I-"
"Alright both of you shut up!" Axel raised his voice, surprising all of them. He quickly turned to the blonde girl. "Not you Naminé" he quickly corrected.
And with that, Naminé watched as Axel did his best to settle the situation, surprising everyone even more finding out that the redhead could think that far ahead. In the end, Roxas' stubbornness won and it was decided that him and Naminé would stay back and rest in the room. If they think they felt alright, they could meet up with the other group somewhere.
Saying the goodbyes, the group left to go back out into the town, Naminé hearing something about trying a café that recently openet.
And now here she was, alone….in a room….with Roxas….
Her face got redder.
Why, why did I do that?
She saw how frustrated Xion was about leaving him alone especially what had happened so the first thing she did was to offer her company. And now she got it. She got herself into this…predicament? Situation? An absolute event that sprung nothing but joy within her?
She mentally facepalmed herself.
"You know, as much as I appreciate you, you really didn't have to stay to keep me company you know?" Roxas asked, sending Naminé back to reality.
She was about to type on her phone, but then set it down instead. She reached over to the bag which she carried out in Twilight town and pulled out an all too familiar book.
Roxas laughed. "Was that with you the whole time?"
Naminé smiled as she quickly wrote her message. Of course😊. Would feel very incomplete without it. But besides that, I will admit, I am feeling a bit tired. I'm more of an indoor person if you couldn't tell..
"I mean you never know," Roxas shrugged his shoulder as he leaned back on the bed. "Going out is one thing artists like you would do right? After all, I technically first met you outside right?"
I only go out on my own will if I see inspiration, and honestly, Twilight Town is full of it
"Then you should," he insisted.
But like I said, my battery is drained, so I think I'll rest up for a bit here, besides, I took a few pictures with my phone so I can use that instead.
And with that, she flipped open her sketchbook and started getting to work. Roxas stared at her for awhile, and just lied down back on his bed to rest.
Xion watched as Axel brought the hammer down on another plastic chocobo at the Whack a Chocobo machine. The redhead has a maniacal grin as he hammered down with all of his strength. His feat managing to draw in a small crowd watching him.
"He's….really going for it isn't he?" Olette commented as she sipped on her smoothie.
"Past trauma," Xion explained. "Never really got the high score, that, and well, the faces used to scare him,"
"You know," Pence said in between eating his fries, "I kinda hope Roxas is fine, he did scare me a little when he passed out like that,"
"He'll probably be fine," Xion assured, "It's nothing to do with his health, it's just, he's not really fond of this town,"
Hayner lowered his soda. "That's why I was so skeptical when you guys said you were going to come and visit, Hold on, does Naminé know?"
Xion shook her head. "But well, who knows, she might. I didn't tell her since it wasn't really my place to say anything,"
Olette winked. "Yeah she might, I noticed how she acts around Roxas just now, they're actually so cute," she shivered with excitement. "Do you think they might…." An excited look on her face.
"Expect the unexpected," was all Xion said as she slurped on her soda.
"Go to hell you plastic demons!" Axel practically yelled as he continued slamming down on the chocobos. Everyone turning away, trying their best to pretend the redhead was a stranger to them.
Roxas didn't know how long they've been idling in the room. He had been lying down resting, or just not moving and closing his eyes. He couldn't bring himself to rest for some reason. Was it because of what happened? He had to admit, he himself was a little frightened at the fact that he passed out just like that.
But at the same time, he couldn't really be surprised, remembering how much bad memories this place brought him some times. Or was it because he wasn't the only one in the room right now? He glanced over and saw Naminé still sketching away on her book, a gentle smile on her face.
A smile which he rarely sees. As far as he knew, Naminé is most content when she's holding her sketechbook or 'in the zone' as he'd like to call it. But he had no complains, after all, there's nothing wrong with seeing someone doing what they love. He was so in trance that he didn't even realise he himself was getting lost at her smile.
He quickly turned his face, staring back at the ceiling. He could feel his face getting warm as he thought about her smile. He asked himself why, but at the same time, he felt like he knew the answer, buried within his thoughts.
In fact, the more he thought of her smile, the more he thought of a certain. A place where he used to go all the time back when he still lived in Twilight Town. A place where he could go and just sit back and watch, with not a worry in mind, a place which he always frequented with the others. His eyes widened.
In fact, he was just getting an idea.
He sat back up, alerting Naminé, and turned to her immediately. "How are you feeling right now?" he asked, a grin wide on his face.
Naminé quickly flipped the pages to an empty page, writing her message. I mean I'm alright, why?
Roxas moved the sheets away so that his legs were freed. "Do you wanna get out of here? There's a place I want to go, and to show you of course," he snickered.
Naminé was caught off guard by his statement. She quickly scribbed another message. Well I don't mind going out, but are you sure you can go?
Before she knew it, he already standing up and wearing shoes by the door, a wide grin still on his face.
"Let's go," he smiled.
Where…are you taking me?
Is what she wanted to ask but instead, a gut feeling within told her that she should just stay quiet and follow. She was currently walking beside him as he led her throughout the town, turning left and right, just blindly following Roxas as she wasn't even familiar with the area. But one thing she thought to herself, right now, it was just her and Roxas, walking in the city together.
Her face turned red as she rested her cheeks against the palms of her hands.
I-Is this…a date?
A rare phonemon indeed. The only time she knew about this topic was whenever she read her novels in her room. There was more than art which she would always do indoors. But reading those novels, she never felt a sense of envy nor jealousy, already accepting that there was no way in the universe would that ever happen to her.
But all that, that was before she met Roxas.
She shook her head violently, trying to throw those thoughts out of her head.
Roxas turned to her. "You alright Naminé?"
She quickly nodded her head, trying to hide her embarrassment with a smile.
"Don't worry, we're almost there,"
But where is 'there'. She wanted to ask. She asked earlier before they left but the feathered blonde kept inisisting that it was a secret and that it wouldn't be fun to spoil the surprise. She looked around her, maybe to try and guess where she was going. That was when she noticed the hue of the sky slowly turning orange, the soft light of the sun still shining on the ground.
"Alright, we're here," she heard and both of them stopped walking. She looked around, and then up. A tall clocktower in front of her. Her eyes widened at the sight of it. She remembered seeing it on the train as it neared the town but clearly she really underestimated the size.
"C'mon, follow me," Roxas said as he went inside the clocktower.
Still confused and no clear on where Roxas was leading her to, Naminé reluctantly followed him. It was just a clocktower. Was there even anything interesting about this place?
She stood still as she got out of the the small door. No words could be formed in her head as her mind immediately emptied itself the moment she took in the view in front of her.
From where she stood, the Twilight Town she faced was almost no more than a chessboard, with buildings as chess pieces that was already in their position. What decorated the scenery even more was the orange light that came from the setting sun, shining at them.
On instinct, she reached her hand out, the light filtering pass the gaps between her fingers.
She would usually be the one to capture the view in her head, but this time, it was the view who caught her in it's grasp. She stood there, unable to move, still captivated by the scenery.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Roxas asked as he closed the small door.
It was hard for Naminé to look away. She merely smiled and nodded without turning to Roxas.
She took a step forward, wanting to see more of the view and looked down. Instantly, a wave of nausea hit her. The ground suddenly felt so much more further away as her head was spinning. She almost lost balance in her legs when she felt a pair of hands grab her shoulders.
"Woah, be careful," instructed Roxas. "Here, sit down," He said as he guided Naminé to sit on the ledge, not noticing her blushing face as she sat down. Once she did, Roxas slowly sat right next to her, leaning back a bit while supporting himself with his other hand behind him.
"This is where we always come to chill and eat ice cream," he explained, "You can kinda say that it's my safe spot besides my house,"
Naminé took out her sketchbook, writing only one message. It's beautiful
Roxas let out a small laugh. "It sure is," He took a deep breath, and let it out. "I always come here to turn off my brain you know," he joked. "It's where I come to not think about my troubles,"
Naminé watched as he reminisce about his time here. But a part of her noticed something was off. Despite having a content look on his face, it was still hiding something. It was hard to describe what he was feeling, but she knew, a gut feeling, that there was something that he was holding back. She knew she shouldn't pry but…..
She gulped as she wrote a new message on her book. Tapping Roxas' shoulder, she showed him the message. Like what happened just now.
Roxas sighed, the smile on his face still there. He stared higher up into the sky. "I guess I can't really hide it any longer while I'm here,"
She scribbled a new message. I won't force you to talk about it but, it might help to get it off your chest, I want to help in anyway I can
Roxas read the message, and giggled. "You're really sweet Naminé,"
Naminé's face reddened the moment he stopped talking and quickly turned away, hoping hard that the redness on her face would fade away soon.
Roxas turned to look at a certain part of a city. A part which would always be burned into his brain. A horrible, unforgotten memory that will always play out the moment he event thinks about it.
"I had a pretty great childhood you know. I remember having fun almost everyday, whether if it's inside or outside the house. I was taught to never forget to smile. It was great, me, my dad, and…my mom," he gulped.
Naminé moved a little closer to him as a small smile made it's way onto his face. "My mum was an amazing person you know. She would always play with me, watch me ramble on about kids stuff she probably didn't really understand, make sure I don't get hurt when I'm at the play ground, you know, sometimes she can a bit overprotective as well,"
He closed his eyes. The memories of his mother flashing before them the more he thought of her at that moment. "Another thing about her, was that she was an amazing artist as well,"
Naminé's eyes widened.
"You know, both of you would definitely hit it off together," he giggled. "She always told me she wanted to become a professional artist as a job, but at the time, she was already pregnant with me, especially at a bit of a young age so it was hard for to find a job. Despite that, she never stopped. I remember sitting beside her as a kid as she would do amazing portraits of people. Me, my dad, even some of my favourite character from my favourite TV shows,"
"I always thought that no matter what, we would always be together, like one big happy family" He clasped his fingers together. "Guess I thought wrong,"
Naminé watched as his hands were clenching harder and his fingers trembling a bit.
"I was 6 when it happened," he gulped. "I was playing a ball at the park when we were out on a picnic when I lost control of the ball and it rolled out of my hands and onto the road,"
Roxas closed his eyes. Instead of the black, he saw himself back then, small hands that failed to grip a ball that rolled out of it. Rolling onto the road. The first thing in his mind, to get the ball. So without thinking, he walked mindlessly onto the road, unknowingly at the fact that there was a car speeding towards him.
But by the time he heard the honk, his body couldn't move. Frozen on the spot at fear gripped at him more than anything. His entire body turned to jelly as he forgot about the ball. Even when the car started to honk at him, the loud noise that scared him, nothing would make him move.
The car's honk got louder, but it didn't even make him flinch.
But what did, was the scream of his name.
"ROXAS!"
Before he knew it, something pushed him away hard and caused him to slide onto the road, fortunately away from the path of an incoming car. As he slid, his arm scraped by the roughness of the road, Roxas heard the car hit something and skid before it stopped. Holding his arm in pain, young Roxas slowly looked to see what had happened….
…..and saw his mother lying face down.
All of his senses went numb at the sight of her. People were screaming around him, calling for 911, but he could barely remember it. He could barely hear it. All of it, everything he head, saw, everything, it was drowned out.
The only thing he could focus on, was his mother.
He slowly crawled up to her, ignoring the pain in his arm, calling for his mother. That's when he saw it. A pool of blood forming by her body. Roxas got nearer, staring his clothes and hands with blood but he didn't care. He gently nudged his mother's head.
She didn't move. Her skin felt cold. There no warmth that he would always feel. Unable to grasp what happened, he kept shaking her, calling for her louder and louder but there was no response. Eventually, the sound of an ambulance filled the air and his father had arrived, only to find his wife lying in a pool of blood on the floor with his son desperately calling for his mother.
"I remember, she died on the spot," Roxas said, "They brought us to a hospital, to see if they could bring her back, and to check if I had any mental trauma from it. I always thought it was a pointless thing to do to be honest,"
Naminé sat there, horrified, hearing his story. His mother had been taken from him at a young age. She remembered how her parents had once spoke of it after the wedding but hearing it from him, she couldn't help as feeling began bubbling up inside as he spoke.
He laughed a bit. "I remember my dad, even losing the one person he love, he'd always make sure to never lose sight of himself. He still did his best to raise me, to make sure that I was never ignored. Thinkng about this now, I guess my appreciation for him grew,"
Naminé didn't try to say anything as Roxas continued his story.
"And yeah I was depressed. I remember crying myself to sleep, hoping-" His words got caught in his throat. "Hoping, that this nightmare would end. As kid, it was just hard to accept it, when something bad happens, you do whatever you can to pretend that it never happened,"
Naminé's eyes widened. The memory of her holding her neck, crying by herself in her mirror, mouthing soundless words, everything flashed in her mind hearing his words.
"I guess that's why my love for my home just fell, hehe. Everytime I'm near this place, I get reminded of what happened. That my mother died, to save me, because I was so careless to even move. Axel bugged me about this trip and I thought I could finally move on, that's why I agreed to come. Well, look how that turned out," he laughed a bit.
Naminé looked down. Her hair covering her eyes so it was hard for anyone to see how she was feeling. But a million thoughts ran through her mind. The Roxas she knew, the Roxas she met, so much was actually hiding behind that usual smile of his. So much that he kept not bottled up, but as a reminder of what happened. An optimistic Roxas, born from grief from the death of his mother.
He sat up straight, his hands resting on his legs as he tried to finish his story. "But I remember, what my mom told me. No matter what happens, good or bad, what's important, is that you have to do what you have to do to get through. Whether if you have to cry, to be angry, at the end of the day, what you have to do, is just smile, you know,"
His vision got blurry. He brought his fingers up to his eyes and found the tips to be wet. That's when he felt it. This all too familiar feeling that always happened whenever the memory of his mother resurfaced. He quickly rubbed his eyes.
He turned to her, ending his story with a big smile. But the smile faded almost instantly, seeing tears falling down from Naminé's face. Tears kept pouring out as Naminé cried harder, holding onto her sketchbook tightly.
Unable to write any message, she faced him. I'm sorry. She mouthed weakly.
Fortunately, he understood. "Naminé," he called out, "It's ok, really, you don't have to cry for me,"
I'm such a fool. She thought of herself as almost the complete opposite of Roxas. She let what happened to her as a child control her for the rest of her life, mourning in the shadow of her lost voice, letting people control. And despite what Roxas went through, an event no child should ever deal with, he was always there to pick her up. To save her. To protect her.
She knew, she could never be strong like Roxas. She could never be close to how he was. But instead, there was one thing she could do right at that moment.
Naminé grit her teeth. With a swift move, opening her book and uncapping her pen, she quickly wrote down. You don't get to decide who I cry for.
She held the book, showing Roxas what she wrote.
Flipping it around, she quickly wrote another message. I will decide who I'll cry for.
And for the first time ever, Roxas watched as there was a stern look of determination on Naminé's face. Her bright blue eyes burned brightly despite tears pouring out. Seeing her face close to his, a word popped into his head,
Beautiful.
Roxas watched as Naminé moved closer to his and grabbed his head, and slowly guided him to rest on her shoulder. With one arm, she wrapped it around his back and with her other, slowly stroking his the back of his head, gently feeling his feathery blonde hair.
However, instead of being embarrassed, an initial reaction of being caught off guard soon turned into something else. The way Naminé wrapped her arms around him, her warmth that emanated from her, passing onto him. A warmth which he craved so desperately. A feeling which he missed too greatly.
Understanding what she was doing, he slowly brought his own hands up, wrapping them around Naminé's back, returning the favour. He no longer held back the tears, and didn't force them out. Instead, he let them fall out naturally. Another memory resurfaced.
The memory of him as a child crying into his mother's arms.
He wrapped tighter and whispered.
"Thank you,"
