Chapter 17: It sure ain't the Love Boat!
Nick and Judy talk about taking a cruise. Their last trip didn't go exactly the way they wanted.
The 2023-2024 season appears to be slowly returning to normal for many of the cruise lines and I am hoping that Disney Cruises will not be tainted by the same ongoing political and cultural foolishness which has affected both the film industry, Disney Plus, and the theme parks. Hopefully, the magic of Disney will return and families will once again flock back to the "happiest place on earth."
"'Nuff Said!" - Stan Lee
The Animal Kingdom
Walt Disney World, Florida
"The Love Boat...ta...da...da...da. The Love Boat..." the fox softly sang and hummed while he followed the rushing rabbit as they passed the very imposing Tree of Life. He was once again fiddling with his red and blue tie in an effort to get it to hang in a rakish manner around his neck.
"Come on, don't be such a slow poke!" the rabbit in a blue police uniform fumed. "Move your tail, Nick! At this rate, we are going to be late for our fans." Turning around, her ears drooped when she saw that he was seemingly slowing down. "Oh come on, Flash can walk faster than you are now going!"
"Sorry, Carrots, I was just pondering that offer Minnie made us. Just think, a tropical Halloween cruise aboard Disney's newest luxury liner, the Disney Wish. He picked up his pace and soon they were walking side by side down the street.
"I want to know more, specifically what they are expecting us to do on this cruise. Remember what happened the last time!"
"How could I forget, I'm still having nightmares about that trip."
Cape Canaveral, Florida
2022
"Just think about it, Carrots, a luxurious four-day and three-night cruise to Nassau and it is all being paid for by Disney!" the fox dressed in a sea blue Caribbean-style guayabera shirt and white shorts said as he stood there and looked across the parking lot at the huge black, red, and white cruise ship. The SS Disney Magic wasn't the largest ship in the Disney-owned fleet, but it was one of the best.
"I'm not sure about this, just why did they give us a free cruise?" the rabbit asked. She stood next to the fox while she fidgeted with the large straw hat she was holding. The yellow sundress she wore showed off her curvy athletic body making her very cu…ah, very pretty. "Slick, didn't you say that Donald Duck told you that we had to do something in exchange? What exactly did he say to you?"
"That we have to do just a few chores, that's all. With the cruise business still being down after the pandemic, they have been tightening up the company's belt a few notches, so everyone has to step up and take on a few extra jobs to keep things running."
"I wonder what Donald meant by chores?" the rabbit mused.
"I offered to do my standup routine!" Nick cheerfully answered as he picked up their suitcases and began to walk toward the ship.
"Your standup routine, are you sure that is a good idea? I remember Finnick telling me about that time you tried out for an opening at the Monster's Inc. Laugh Floor. He said it didn't go that well."
"Ha, I've up my game since then! I now have a new routine where I tell my jokes while playing the piano."
"Nick, please don't take this wrong but your piano playing is almost as bad as some of your jokes."
"Look, I've researched this online."
"Online?"
"Yeah, there used to be this human named Liberace and he played the piano and cracked jokes, the crowd loved it. I've even got some fancy clothes, but not anything as expensive or flashy as he wore."
"Nick, Liberace was a master showman and an extremely talented pianist."
"Are you saying I'm not talented?" the fox skidded to a halt and he glanced down at her.
"I didn't say that," the bunny quickly replied. "Your talents lie elsewhere. You're the master of the quick quip. You just instinctively know exactly what to say at the right moment to get the crowd laughing. Your humor is spontaneous and witty, not so pre-planned or routine."
The fox was about to respond when he suddenly realized he had forgotten something. "Shoot, I left my candelabra on the bus!" he groaned.
"Why did you pack a candelabra?"
"Liberace always had one on his piano." His ears perked up and his tail wagged. "Maybe Lumiere is on board, and we could do a duet?"
"While you are working, what am I supposed to do without you?"
"Fluff, I'll do my routine in the evening and that will leave us free to have fun during the day. We can lounge around the pool and drink cocktails, eat at the best restaurants onboard the ship, and when I'm not working, we can dance the night away."
"Then why did they want the both of us?"
"Who cares, I can't wait to get into our suite and I bet we got one of the nice luxury rooms with a balcony."
"Well, our transportation from Orlando wasn't exactly luxurious."
"Oh come on, that Greyhound bus was much nicer than most of the city buses in Zootopia."
"The bus station was over twenty miles from the port!"
"Yeah, but it was very nice that a car full of airmen going to the Kennedy Space Center gave us a lift. We didn't even have to hire a taxi."
Once they boarded, the ship's captain seemed distracted, but he nodded toward the fox and rabbit when they approached. "All aboard and reporting for duty," Nick quipped as he threw the officer a lazy salute.
"Excellent, welcome aboard and report to the Staff Captain," the Captain briskly replied before turning his attention to another sailor.
"Aye, aye, Captain!" Nick called back with a grin.
"The Staff Captain, that's odd? I would have thought he would have told us to report to the Cruise Director instead," Judy mused as she followed the fox.
A few minutes later, they located the Staff Captain. "I'm so looking forward to doing my standup comedy routine," the fox enthusiastically began to say. "So where am I supposed to do my routine? Do you have a piano bar or something?"
The Staff Captain looked perplexed and shoved her cap slightly back on her head before she asked, "Did Donald not tell you where we need you two to work on this trip?"
"I figured since we are famous Disney stars, he wanted me to do my comedy routine or be in one of the shows," the fox replied.
The officer gave a small grimace when she heard what the fox said.
"Where exactly are we supposed to work?" Judy sighed in frustration. She knew that once again, Nick had rushed into something unprepared. The once cynical fox had changed over the many years; he wasn't so much of a suspicious hustler anymore. Years of befriending his fellow foxes had influenced him. There was Robin Hood, with his cheerful attitude and noble sense of honor, and naïve young Tod's enthusiasm for life. Both had more of an impact on the fox than the brash wheeling-dealing Honest John. Although she had to admit that Nick, Finnick, and Honest John hatched a brilliantly successful scheme to whisk Br'er Fox from Disney World to Disneyland Tokyo before Disney's lawyers could return him to the dreaded Vault. Once there, the fox was safe because the Disney-themed property in Japan had refused to close its version of Splash Mountain, and since it was owned and managed by OLC, there was nothing anyone in Burbank could do about it.
Yes, the Disney foxes gave Nick something he had always wanted, being part of a group…a pack. He yearned for it as a kit before he was so brutally bullied when he tried to join the Scouts. Being with Robin, Marion, Tod, Vixie, Honest John, Finnick, and even herself and Honest John's bumbling friend Gideon, had finally filled the void left from that shattered childhood dream. Briefly, she glanced up at the handsome fox and realized it was also the children, who were wide-eyed and adoringly excited to meet her and Nick at the Disney properties, that had profoundly changed his outlook toward life. Nick had changed and she realized that she had too.
"You two have been assigned to It's a Small World," was the answer the Staff Captain gave.
"Is that a play?" Nick asked.
"Not exactly," the officer replied.
"Are you telling us that we are supposed to work in the ship's nursery?" Judy interrupted.
"Wait…what?" Nick muttered.
"I hope you are good at changing diapers," the Staff Captain replied with a shrug of her shoulders.
"This is going to be a really lllllooooonnnngggg four-day and three-night cruise," the rabbit groaned.
The Animal Kingdom
Walt Disney World, Florida
"Nope, I never want to change another diaper ever again," Nick pronounced. "At least one around someone else's baby's butt."
"I've changed my fair share of diapers while growing up with so many sisters and brothers, cousins, nieces, and nephews in my family's warren. At least human babies don't have tails," Judy laughed. "One of these years we need to take a cruise somewhere, just the two of us with no work. Something romantic," she added.
"Fluff, you wound me! Didn't we just take a cruise last week?"
"Slick, the Jungle Cruise in the Magic Kingdom is not a real cruise. Plus it wasn't very romantic."
"Details...details...details! It was the thought that counts."
"Sure, fox, now hurry or we are going to be late!"
You can find out how Br'er Fox escaped the dreaded Disney Vault in Zootopia Wilde Tales: Too Many Ghosts!
Yes, Disneyland Tokyo still has Splash Mountain.
