"Maybe I'll crash into you
Maybe we would open up these wounds
We're only alive if we bruise
So I lay down this armor

I will surrender tonight
Before we both lose this fight
Take my defenses
All my defenses

I lay down this armor
I lay down this armor
I lay down this armor for you"

- "Armor" by Landon Austin

Chapter 8: No Defenses

I used my speed to quickly catch up to Kakashi. He glanced back at me but said nothing. Naruto was further ahead of him, and I could feel his rage from my position. Deidara flew on his clay bird out of reach at all of us. He seemed to sense my presence, for I saw him look at me.

Deidara released some of his clay bombs. They were mostly aimed at Kakashi, and he dodged them easily. Then one flew right at me, exploding near my face. It did not hurt me at all, but my mind was flooded with images of my past, reminding me of why I used to hate explosions. I froze on a tree branch, my eyes wide.

Kakashi stopped beside me. "Are you alright?" he asked in concern.

"I... I'm fine," I said. "I just need a minute."

"Are you sure?"

I took in a shaky breath and nodded. "Yeah. I'm not hurt, and he didn't intend to hurt me. He can control exactly where his bombs go. He was just trying to scare me. Go and look after Naruto."

Kakashi looked at me for a moment longer before nodding. "Stay here if you need to." And then he was off.

I close my eyes and breath slowly. I grip the tiny clay phoenix on my necklace, taking in Deidara's chakra. I remember the pain but also the lessons I learned from what I went through. Itachi and Deidara had helped me. I was no longer afraid. My eyes opened, and my determination returned.

I leapt into action once again. This time, I continued until I was at pace with Naruto. He glanced at me but said nothing. Kakashi was just behind us. Deidara was not far away in front of us. I noticed his eyes narrow when he saw me.

"Stay out of my business," Deidara growled. He sent more bombs in my direction. Naruto snarled in anger, but I did not even flinch when the bombs exploded harmlessly near me.

"I'm not afraid of you, Deidara!" I shouted. "And you know something else? You're terrible at acting like Itachi!"

Anger flashed in his eyes. "What did you say?!"

"It's a compliment, you know. Itachi drives me crazy with his hiding of his emotions and forcing decisions on others because he thinks it's best for them." I paused. "You can't hide your emotions like he can. You can't make them disappear. All you can do is attempt to bury them behind your anger, but I know the truth!"

"Shut up!"

I glared right back at him. "Stop trying to protect me by making my choices for me! It doesn't work for Itachi, and it won't work for you!"

"I am doing no such thing! You mean nothing to me. Let me prove it to you." Deidara formed something with his clay spiders. "My tracking spiders will find your sensei." He released them, and they flew past Naruto and me.

"No!" I look behind me in time to see the explosions go off.

"Kakashi Sensei!" Naruto cried.

I waited for a moment, using my senses. I relaxed a moment later. "He's okay, Naruto. I feel his chakra."

"What?" Deidara growled.

I glared at him. "Enough of this!" I tried not to think too hard about what he was doing and how he was trying to hurt me. Besides, Naruto had enough anger for the both of us. Instead, I focused on my goal. "Just stop and listen to me!"

Deidara glowered at me. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say!" Then he flew further away, leaving Naruto and me to follow.

Several moments later, Kakashi was beside us. Naruto looked at him in relief. "You're alright," he said.

Kakashi nodded. His eyes traveled to Deidara. "We need to stop him," he said in a low voice.

Naruto's eyes flashed with his agreement. "We need to get Gaara back!"

"Let me talk to him first," I pleaded.

"You've already tried to talk to him! He's not listening!"

"But if I can get him to listen, I know I can change his mind. Just give me a little more time."

"Alright," Kakashi said gently. "You may try."

"But-" Naruto started.

I gave Kakashi a grateful look and then turned to Naruto. I could see his anger rising again. I place a hand on his shoulder, passing along some calmness to him. "It's alright, Naruto. Just trust me."

Naruto hesitated before relaxing a little. "Fine."

I smiled at him before returning my attention to Deidara, my expression hardening. I run faster until he is within hearing range again. "Deidara!"

"Don't you know when to give up?" Deidara said in annoyance.

"No! Not until you stop playing this game."

Something changed in Deidara's eyes. They softened just a bit before he covered the look with anger. "I have to play this game, Katsumi, and so do you. Our only choice is to play our roles. You must fight for your side just as I must fight for mine. There is no difference between our sides. Both have their faults, so what difference does it make? Do what you're supposed to, and I'll do the same."

Finally, I got something real out of him. We were getting closer to the core problem. He still had not admitted he cared about me, but I could sense it underneath his explanation. I took in a deep breath. "Normally, that would be true, but my team is different. We hold higher standards than the villages as a whole. You know that I know more than most people how messed up the system is, but we want to work to change it on the inside. There are already signs of change in the Leaf Village."

For a moment, it looked like Deidara wanted to believe me. Then his expression hardened again. "Don't try to persuade me with your lies. I know that's impossible. Nothing will ever change. That's not how life works."

"But life is about change, Deidara. You are so close to the truth... You are right to say that everything us fleeting, but you must understand that that means everything is always changing. Nothing is constant, right? There is hope in that. We have the power to direct that change as we desire. We can use it to create a better world."

Deidara's eyes softened once more. Then he shook his head before narrowing his eyes at me. "You're naive, hmm. Why can't you just give up on me already?"

I gave him a pointed look. "I can't give up on you because you are important to me, Deidara. Also... you and I are the same." Naruto also looked at me curiously, his anger fading. "You want the same thing I want. You desire freedom. You want the opportunity to be yourself without limitations. You think you are better off with the Akatsuki, but you are still not free. Are you really better off than in a village if the Akatsuki requires you to betray your emotions and who you are?" I took a deep breath. "Join me, Deidara. I have the authority from my Hokage to ask you to join me. I will make sure you have a place with me in the Leaf Village. I will never let anything happen to you. We can be together."

Deidara stared at me. It looked like he was almost going to break, but yet again, his expression hardened. "We can be together... if I take you with me! You don't need the Leaf Village. I'll steal you away."

"No!" Naruto shouted, enraged once again. Then he ran after Deidara, who chuckled and started to fly away. Kakashi and I were left to follow. I sighed as I watched Deidara. This was what he wanted, wasn't it? He was trying to entice Naruto. I had to stop him before something terrible happened.

"Naruto!" I called after him. "Calm down! What are you doing?"

"I'm getting Gaara back!"

"We need to stop and think," Kakashi said. "We'll definitely get Gaara back, so calm down! We need to come up with a plan."

This seemed to get to Naruto, as he slowed down to match out pace. "Fine. What's the plan?"

"Listen up, Naruto. You're not accustomed to that kind of enemy. Not only that, he's a long-range type, the worst match for someone like you, who specializes in close-range battle. There are only two ways to defeat this type of enemy. One is to draw the enemy into a close-range fight and defeat them. The other is to outdo the enemy with a long-range attack and defeat them."

"But how do we do that?"

"No matter which method is taken, your unit needs either a comrade who specializes in long-range attacks or one who can use support ninjutsu for long-range battles. In the event of having neither, it's impossible to defeat the enemy. Well, it'd be different if you were as smart as Shikamaru, though."

Naruto appeared irritated. "Stop beating around the bush! If that's the case, then what about you Kakashi Sensei?"

Kakashi looked at him calmly. "Oh me, huh?"

Naruto nodded. "A jonin who's as smart as Shikamaru and possesses support ninjutsu for long-range battles. Then we've got what we need!"

"That's why I told you to calm down."

"Then we should get right to it."

"It won't work out that easily. He won't leave himself open if we just chase him around. He infiltrated the Hidden Sand by himself and defeated Gaara. And most important he's a member of the Akatsuki."

"Then what do we do?"

"All we can do is create an opening from our end. You and me together. If you were able to catch on to what I said, then lend me an ear. I'll tell you the plan." Kakashi glanced at me. "You should stay out of this, Katsumi."

"H-Hold on!" I said, my heart racing. "You need to give me one more chance to persuade Deidara."

"You've had enough chances," Naruto said with a low growl. "It's time to do things our way!"

My eyes grew wide. "No! I'm so close." I turned to Kakashi, looking at him with pleading eyes. "I need to get close to him to talk to him privately. I know I can get through to him if I'm close enough to touch him."

I saw the hesitation in Kakashi's eye. "We could make that happen, but that would put you in grave danger."

I shook my head. "No. Deidara would never hurt me. You have to trust me on this. Please."

Kakashi still appeared uncertain. "I don't know..."

"He won't hurt me. If he does... then I will not stop either of you from doing what it takes to bring him down. But if you don't let me try this one last time, I'll always wonder if I could have done something to change his mind. I need to know for sure if he's out of reach. If you don't let me have this chance, I may end up resenting you for it." This was not a threat but a warning. A plea even. I looked at Naruto, who appeared angry but willing to listen. "You promised you would help me save Deidara. If I fail now, I'll let you out of that promise. You just have to support me now."

Naruto's expression softened slightly. "Fine. We'll do it your way one more time."

Kakashi nodded. "Alright, I will trust you, Katsumi. My plan will need to be altered slightly. Listen carefully." He quickly explained his plan, and I nodded along. That would work well enough. I noticed Deidara watching us, growing impatient.

"I hope you're ready!" I called up to him. "I won't let my teammates hold back!"

"Let them do their worst!" Deidara taunted.

I moved aside into the trees to let Kakashi and Naruto take control. Deidara did not object to my actions, just as I predicted. He probably thought I was getting out of the way of the battle because I did not want to hurt him. He thought I had given up, which was just the way it needed to be for now.

Naruto prepared his Rasengan. Deidara was able to evade the attack. While he was distracted, I leapt from the trees and landed on his clay bird right beside him. He turned to face me his face wide with fear. "What...?" he managed to get out.

I realized I must look a little threatening to him, so I immediately relaxed. "I am not here to hurt you, Deidara. I just want to talk."

Deidara's expression hardened. "What kind of trick is this?"

"You know it's not a trick. I won't hurt you, and my teammates won't hurt you either." I frowned when I noticed something. From this close, I could see that he was missing his left arm. "What happened?"

Deidara turned the left side of his body away from me. "That's none of your business."

I looked at him with sympathy. "Gaara, huh?"

Deidara continued to stare at me with a dark expression. "How can you say that so casually? He was your friend, yeah? You should hate me."

"Should I?" I knew that was the normal response to a situation like this, but that was not a path I wanted to take. "I know what hatred does to a person. It harms their own life as well as the lives of those who care for them. It does nothing to solve anything. Besides, I love you too much to hate you. Love is stronger than hatred. Don't you remember? You helped me see that. You helped me overcome my past so I could have a better future. And now I will do the same for you." I took a step closer to him.

Deidara's eyes grew wide, but he quickly put on his mask of anger. "Stay away, or I will have to attack you."

His threat did not phase me. I stepped closer. "Fine, then attack me if that's what you want. I won't defend myself. Not even with a shield." I showed him my palms and moved my arms away from my body so I could not easily form one of my shields. "I have always prioritized defending myself, but for you, I will lay all my defenses down. I am completely vulnerable."

Deidara could not hide his shock this time. "Wh-What do you want with me?"

I kept going until we were inches apart. I looked into his eyes with determination. "I want you to tell me the truth. Tell me how you really feel about me."

Deidara raised his shaking hand. Resolve seemed to come over his face as he gently caressed my cheek. "I love you," he whispered. In his eyes, I saw the person I knew so well. He rested his forehead against mine, breathing deeply. I tried to wrap my arms around him, but he pulled away abruptly, clenching his fist near my face.

"Deidara?" I said in confusion.

"I-I can't-"

Suddenly, a sucking sound caught both of our attention. Then I noticed a vortex right near Deidara, and it started sucking him in by his arm. "Oh no!" I cried.

"What is this jutsu?!" Deidara exclaimed. "My arm's getting sucked into space?"

I immediately knew who was responsible. I looked down and saw Kakashi using his Mangekyo Sharingan. "Stop!" I shouted at him. "You promised you wouldn't hurt him!"

"So much for them giving me a chance," Deidara growled as he tried to pull his arm out.

I swallowed hard. Kakashi showed no signs of stopping. "He-He must have thought you were threatening him."

"That's exactly my point." Deidara gave me a hard look even as he struggled. "Don't you get it? You may be able to convince your village to give me a chance, but the moment I do something that could be perceived as wrong, they'll throw me out. I can't go around walking on eggshells around everyone not again. They'll never give me a real chance."

My heart hammered in my chest. "Th-That's not true. We can change things."

"No, we can't. You want the truth? This is the truth. We can never be together. It is time for you to face reality!"

"No!" I moved directly in front of Kakashi's line of vision so he could not get at Deidara anymore. Kakashi immediately stopped the jutsu.

"Katsumi!" he called. "What are you doing?"

"You promised!" I shouted at him. I turned back to Deidara. "You have to get out of here."

Deidara nodded. "You don't need to tell me twice." With a wince, I realized the vortex had been able to suck in his arm, but at least he was still able to steer his clay bird. He glanced back at me. "You should get off."

I shook my head. "Not until you're safe."

Deidara looked down. "I think we lost them, hmm." Suddenly, Naruto and his shadow clones were all around us, ready to strike with his Rasengan.

"Naruto! No!"