I've been a fan of Big Mouth since it first started in 2017. Love the story, the characters, the songs,the naughty humor, and just general craziness. Definitely my all-time favorite Netflix show.

Although i haven't played Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door since 2015, due to no longer having a GameCube, it still holds a special place in my heart. The story, setting, characters, music, and typical RPG wackiness make it so memorable. So, after binging Big Mouth and it's spinoff, Human Resources, so many times, and watching several Paper Mario playhthroughs on YouTube, the two started to blend together in my mind, so i decided to do this crossover.

Instead of Mario, the kids from Big Mouth all get transported to Rogueport, along with their Monsters. Instead of Peach, Missy gets kidnapped, leaving behind the map to the Crystal Stars. The kids have to follow the map in hopes of finding Missy, and, of course, a way back to Earth. Also, instead of Bowser, General Malice,who is revealed to still be alive after the end of Human Resources season 2, takes over his parts in the story.

I was formally writing a Big Mouth story, called Love, Loss, and Lust, but decided to cease and desist after Human Resources 2 premiered, cause it kind of conflicted with things i had planned. But in this story i will feature some things i had planned for that one, such as a redemption arc for Devin, as well as a friendship between her and Gina, which turns into something more,as well as a romance between Jessi and Ali.

Oh, and not to worry: even though Mario, Peach and Bowser don't appear, all of Mario's partners do: Goombella, Koops, Flurrie, etc. So not to worry, I'm not cutting EVERYONE.

Anyways, let's get started, shall we? I own nothing, except some original characters, such as a few i created to be the love interests of Nick, Andrew and Lola, respectively, and a few others. Everything else belongs to Netflix and Nintendo.

Chapter 1:

It was just another normal day at Bridgeton Middle School. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and everybody was horny.

"Man, I'm so glad to be back to normal ", Nick said to Andrew as he closed his locker. "Being in my grandfather's body was no fun. Every bone in my body ached."

Andrew laughed. "You think that was bad? What about me, in my DAD'S body? Do you have any idea what it's like to have such big balls?"

Maury, Andrew's Hormone Monster, laughed. "Oh come on, big balls are a blessing. If you have a car accident you don't need an airbag. "

Andrew ignored him. "Well at least nothing that weird will probably happen again. I mean, what could POSSIBLY be weirder than THAT?"

The boys went to meet with their friends, Jessi, Jay and Missy. Missy was talking to her boyfriend Elijah. Jay was staring across the hall forlornly at Matthew, who had recently broken up with him. Devin Leseven also looked miserable: her "husband" Devon had just announced he was moving away due to his uncle who he lived with getting a new job. He had given her back her ring before he'd walked outside to meet his uncle.

Lola Skumpy stood by her. She wanted to comfort Devin, but was afraid she'd say something mean.

Jessi, meanwhile, was looking at Ali. For weeks now she'd had the urge to tell Ali how she felt. Would she ever have the courage? On one hand, she felt she shouldn't rush things, as Ali was still sad about her break-up with Samira, and Jessi felt it would be insensitive to tell her too soon. On the other, she was afraid if she didn't tell her soon, Ali would move on and meet somebody else.

As if reading her thoughts, Connie nudged Jessi slightly. "Go to her, girl. Just tell her. Ain't no time like the present, and there's no better present than an 'i love you.'"

Jessi sighed. "I don't know Connie. I don't even know what I'd say. She still seems sad. And what happened with Samira was kind of my fault. If i just go there and blurt out i like her, it'll seem like i purposely drove them apart just to have a shot with her. "

Connie sighed. Jessi could be so stubborn. Between Jessi and her own child, Montel, Connie certainly had her hands full these days. Connie looked down at Montel, who was studying a list of all the students at school, and their greatest shames. When Montel had announced their plan to become a Shame Wizard, Connie and Maury had at first been horrified, but by now had accepted their child for who they were, and wanted to be. So she supposed she should accept Jessi wanting to take things slow.

Suddenly, without warning, the room started to shake. It started with a small vibration, the metal lockers rattling as if being shaken by ghosts. Then it became stronger, the lights in the hall flickering. Everywhere kids started screaming, some ducking behind tables or into their locker.

Then the room literally felt like it was jumping. A water fountain fell off the wall and hit the floor, water spraying like a geyser. A bench toppled over and started bouncing. The screams became deafening. Then a strange humming noise filled the air. A dull buzz at first, like a hive of angry bees, then louder,like the drone of construction machinery.

Suddenly, a bright light filled the room. At first it looked like the lights overhead were blowing out, overloading, but the light became brighter, came from all directions. Became brighter, brighter, till it filled the entire room. Nobody could see the room anymore. The lockers, benches, everything vanished into the strange light, till it overpowered all other senses. The screams and humming were drowned out, as all became a world of blinding light.

Then... silence. Darkness. No screams, no buzzing, no light.

Jessi's POV

Jessi groaned. She felt... ground? She didn't remember falling. She still heard a distant hum in her head, but otherwise it was quiet.

She tried to stand up, and slowly opened her eyes. It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust.

To her shock, she wasn't at school anymore. Instead, she was in what appeared to be a harbor of sorts. There were several boats in the water, and there was a dock leading to the water. Across from her were stacks of wooden crates, fishing nets and anchors. And standing around the dock were creatures she'd never seen. She was used to seeing monsters, having known Connie for over a year, and had also known the Depression Kitty, Lovebugs and the Shame Wizard, and seen various other creatures in the Monster World. But she had never seen the likes of these.

Jessi stood up grogilly, and saw that most of her classmates were here too. She saw Nick, Andrew and Jay, Elijah and Gina, and (her heart fluttered nervously) Ali in the back. She looked around her, taking in these strange surroundings. "Connie? Connie, you here?"

"Jessi!! Jessi bear, over here!!!" Jessi looked over at the dock, and saw to her relief Connie and Montel in one of the boats, along with another Monster. She was pretty sure that was Andrew's Monster... Monty? Marty? She couldn't remember. Either way she was glad Connie had also come along to this strange, frightening place, as well as all her friends.

"Excuse me, miss?" Jessi looked for the source of the voice, and saw a short little man, barely taller than herself, with tattered clothes. On his head was what looked like a mushroom, white with orange dots. She looked around and saw other little men who looked almost identical, except some had green dots on their caps, others blue.

There were also what looked like living, walking bombs, with legs. Some were small, with sleek blue bodies. One was very large, with a wind-up key shaped like bones. 'What ARE all these strange creatures?' she thought.

"Excuse me, miss.", the little mushroom man repeated. "This is a busy area. I need you and your friends to move on if you have no business here!!"

Andrew jumped back and almost fell into Nick. " A little mushroom man!! A little mushroom man talking to us!!!"

The man scowled. " I, sir, am a Toad. A proud citizen of the Mushroom Kingdom. And you kids have no business here. Now get, shoo, scram!!!"

Jessi scowled. " You don't have to be so rude.", she muttered as she walked past. Behind her, her friends followed, looking around the dock at the Toads and other creatures. Connie materialized beside her. Jessi instantly turned to her.

"What IS this place, Connie? That Toad guy said something about the Mushroom Kingdom. Have you ever heard of that?"

Connie shook her head. " Never. But your world and mine are connected to many different worlds and realities. There are millions of different dimensions and multiverses. And sometimes those words overlap. Dimensional shifts, if you will. When worlds overlap, sometimes people and things slip from one world to the other. That must be what happened here. I'm no expert, of course. Just guessing. "

Jessi and her friends walked up the steps leaving the dock, into the main city square. The first thing Jessi noticed was a platform, with a noose in the middle of the square. Seeing this, she again felt frightened. 'What city keeps a hanging platform in the town square?', she wondered. The buildings around the city were old and extremely dilapidated, and many were covered in graffiti and old, faded wanted posters. Walking around were more strange creatures, including small brown, mushroom-shaped creatures with large eyes and wide mouths, and small mouselike creatures. Jessi was about to ask Connie if she recognized any of these creatures when a voice called out.

"Jessi!!! Andrew, Elijah!! Over here!!!" Jessi turned, and saw Missy running towards her. Behind her were Matthew, Lola, Devin, Lump, and the two Jansen twins. 'Holy shit, is EVERYBODY here?!", she wondered. Still, she was happy to see Missy. Quickly she ran forward and hugged her best friend.

"Jessi!! I am so glad you're here, that you're ok!!! I was so scared, with the earthquake, and the light!!! I didn't know what was going on. I don't even know where we are!" Seeing Elijah, she ran over and hugged him too.

"I'm so happy you're ok, Missy. I was worried about you, too.", he said. " I just prayed that everything would be ok. Guess it worked. Only, i have no idea where we are, but I'm PRETTY SURE this isn't the afterlife. ", he added, laughing nervously as he looked at the strange, filthy town around them.

The friends all spent a few moments talking amongst themselves, trying to figure out what was going on. Jessi noticed many of the townspeople were looking at them strangely, as if they rarely saw, or had never seen, a human. Or, could they be staring at the children's Monsters? Jessi noticed she could see Missy's Monster, Mona, who she had heard about but never formally met, and Nick's ragged old Monster, Rick. She had thought a kid could only see another Monster if the Monster WANTED to be seen. Curious, she turned to Connie.

"Connie, i think these people can see you. What's going on?"

Connie shrugged. "The magic in this world must be different. I noticed it too. This place just feels so... different. I'm a bit nervous, to be honest."

Montel laughed. "Well i like it. Squalor. Just the sort of environment a fledging Shame Wizard would thrive in. Speaking of Shame Wizards, isn't that..."

Jessi turned, and felt her heart sink. 'Oh no, they're here. Just great.', she thought, as she noticed the Shame Wizard, and the Depression Kitty, along with several Lovebugs, and two Monsters she didn't recognize. They were very tall, and appeared to be made of stone, or rock. One was male, the other female. There was also a green-skinned female creature with pointed ears.

Seeing them, the Monsters rushed over. Connie addressed them. "Petra!!! Emmy!! Rochelle!! Y'all are here. Pete, nice to see you. This is so weird."

The green-skinned gremlin creature jumped up and down angrily. " What the fuck is going on, guys?!! I was in the middle of a very important meeting with the Hollywood writer's strike, when i got pulled into this shithole world!!! If i don't get back soon, they might cave in, and we'll lose a perfectly good strike!!!" She turned to Jessi. "What are you looking at, redhead?!!"

Jessi took a step back. "Nothing. I've just never seen a... what are you, exactly?"

Connie laughed. "Easy girls. Jessi, this is Petra. She's an Ambition Gremlin. These", she gestured to the rock-skinned monsters "are Pete and Van, they're Logic Rocks. And the Lovebugs are Emmy, Rochelle and Walter. "

Nick walked up to the Lovebug with glasses. "Walter Las Palmas?! Wow, great to see you again!!", he gushed.

Walter smiled and shook his hand. "Great to see you too, Nick Birch. How you been? Any luck with the ladies?"

Nick frowned. "No, not yet. Haven't really had time for romance. School, family drama, etc. You know."

Walter laughed. "Yeah i heard about the body swaps y'all kids had. Maury told us all about it. Sounds rough. But we recently had a hostile takeover by the Hate Department. Lots of Monsters dead. So it's crazy all over. "

The Logic Rock Pete interrupted. "Sorry to butt in everyone, but shouldn't we all be trying to find out where we are? If we were all brought here, surely there is a way back."

The Depression Kitty, Kitty Beaumont Bouchet, smiled as she looked around. "I don't know, i like it. So much depression and sadness in the air. The people here are absolutely miserable. I could get used to it. "

Petra growled. "Shut it,you purple puss!!! I'm not staying here!! We gotta find a way back. Are y'all coming or what?"

Jessi nodded. "I really think we SHOULD start looking around. There's gotta be a place where we can get some information. At least find out where we are. And hopefully a safe place to stay while we work on a way back. "

Devin groaned. "Whater y'all do, hurry. This place is so gross. It stinks, and i think i stepped in something!!!"

Lola laughed. "Jessi, I'll come with you, my whore sister!! You need somebody strong on your team!! "

Ali ran up and grabbed Jessi's arm. Again Jessi felt butterflies in her stomach. It was so nerve-wracking being this close to her and not being brave enough to tell her how she felt. For a girl who had run away from home last year, being able to tell someone she liked them should have been easy, but every time she tried to picture telling Ali, the scenarios always ended in disaster and heartbreak.

Ali smiled. "I'll come with you too, Jessi. Let's explore a bit. " She turned to the others. "Anybody else wants to volunteer?"

Nick shrugged. "Guess I'll come too. Better than being stuck at school, or at home taking care of grandpa's piss cans. You coming, Andrew?"

Andrew sighed. " Oh sure, why not? It's not like i can get mugged. I have no money." He walked to join Nick, followed by Maury.

The Lovebug Emmy ran to join them. "I'll come too, maybe this place has a nice bar. I could sure use a drink right now. "

Together, the groups split up, searching the town. There wasn't much to see on this side. There was a store, selling strange items they had never seen. The shopkeepers were identical twins, Plenn T and Thriff T. The shop only accepted gold coins, which of course the kids had none of, but one of the owners gave Jessi a complimentary free item. He called it a Fire Flower. Jessi looked at it. It was a small red flower, almost the same shade as her hair, and fit easily in her palm. To her surprise, it was warm to the touch, almost hot. The guy said it could be useful in a fight, and explained to use it, simply crush it in her hand. Jessi said thanks, and placed it in her backpack, but secretly thought (and hoped) she wouldn't need it.

Next to the shop was an inn. The inn had a downstairs bar, where lots of shady characters sat in drunken, gloomy silence at the tables, except for one man, dressed in fancy clothes, who stood singing loudly, to the evident annoyance of the other patrons. Emmy immediately went to the bar table and tried to haggle a drink from the barkeep. Jessi and her friends went around trying to get information from the patrons, but most of them simply barked to be left alone. After several minutes, the group was back outside where they started.

Jessi was just fixing to suggest regrouping with the others when a voice called out.

Nick's POV

As soon as Nick and his friends exited the inn, a voice called out. "Nick, hey Nick!!!" He turned and gasped.

Running towards them from one of the sides of town they hadn't explored was his brother Judd, and his sister Leah, the latter who had called his name. Behind them were-he groaned inwardly-Val and Kurt, Jay's asshole brothers.

As the four ran towards Nick and his friends, Kurt bumped into an old Toad woman, who fell down. Without stopping to apologize, they ran till they stood in front of the group.

"Judd!! Leah!!! You're here!!!", Nick gasped, still totally shocked.

Leah pulled her little brother into a hug. "Believe me, I'm as surprised as you. I was in drama class, and suddenly everything started shaking, there was this light, and here i am!!! i don't know what happened, or where we are. I'm just glad YOU'RE ok!!"

Nick turned to Judd. " What about you?"

Judd grunted. He was never much of a talker. "If you must know, one of my raccoons was pregnant, and going into labor.I was helping her deliver. Next thing you know, I'm here. "

Val laughed. "Me and Kurt were stealing tires from one of our rich neighbors car. We were gonna sell them for some quick bucks. Looks like the jokes on us. I bet none of the weirdos here even know what a car IS."

Kurt snarled. "Is Jay here?" Nick knew his and Val's hobby was torturing Jay. In fact, they tortured pretty much EVERYONE.

Nick pointed to where he had last seen everyone. " Yeah, i think he's over there." As the two brutes walked off, Nick turned to Leah. "You're not still dating Val, are you?"

She scowled. "Sort of, i guess. We only see each other on the weekends when I'm out of school. Why does it matter, Nicky? It's not really your business!! Second of all, why are you asking this NOW??!"

Nick frowned. " Sorry, sorry. You're right. Let's just concentrate on getting out of here. What's over there,where you came from?"

Leah shrugged. "Not much. We woke up in like a flower bed. There's a few houses, a store, and i think a game parlor. Val, Kurt, and even Judd "she glared at her brother, "wanted to go gamble, but i told them we had to get our bearings first, so we started explore. That's when we ran into you. "

Nick started walking. "Well let's just go and check. Maybe we'll meet somebody who..."

"HOLD UP!!! STOP!!! NOT ANOTHER STEP!!!!!" The old Toad woman Kurt had knocked down stood in the middle of the street. Squinting, she slowly walked from one side of the street to the next. "Nobody. Move!!! I dropped a contact lens!! It's gotta be here somewhere!!! Don't move!! Not one step!!!!"

The old Toad kneeled down, blindly moving her hands along the worn street tiles. Nick and his friends stood rooted to the spot. After two or perhaps three minutes, Nick grew restless. He decided to try and regroup with the others by the hanging platform. He had just turned around and started walking back towards the shop when he heard the tiniest CRUNCH beneath his foot.

Instantly, the old woman let out a bloodcurdling scream like an angry banshee. "AAAAAHHH!!!!!! MY CONTACT LENS!!!!! What did i TELL YOU??!!! Dont your stupid ears work?!! Now i gotta get a new contact lens, but YOU'RE gonna pay for it!!!!"

She marched up to Nick till they were practically nose to nose. She was barely a head taller than him, and probably the same age as his grandfather Seamus, but the fierce look in her eyes made Nick back up nervously.

"So, you won't pony up, huh? Well, here's what I'M gonna do. "

She backed in front of the old archway leading to the area Leah and the others had come.

I'm going to block your path to the west side of town till you buy me a new contact lens!! How's that sound, Sir Stompy?!!"

Lola growled and stepped up menacingly to the old woman. "We have to get over there, you old broad!!! Move it or lose it, sister!!!"

Lola tried to charge the Toad, but the old woman grabbed Lola by the head, like a matador wrestling a bull. For a few seconds the two tussled, Lola trying to push forward, and the old Toad pushing her back. Amazingly, despite Lola's large size and strength, the woman stood firmly on the spot, Lola's charges not moving her even an inch.

Finally, with one final push, the woman sent Lola flying . She landed inches from Jessie's feet with a thud. Lola grabbed her foot in pain.

"Fuck, my cocksucking ankle!!!", she cried, rocking back and forth.

The woman growled. "Let THAT be a lesson, punks!!!! Now scram, and don't bother coming back till you get me a new contact lens!!"

Jessi helped Lola to her feet, and the kids quickly moved away from the angry woman, and started looking for their friends. They soon found them where they had left them, by the platform with the noose. Nick groaned inwardly when he saw the new Monsters that had showed up. He recognized one of them: Tyler, who had briefly served as his Monster, and caused him a great deal of trouble. There was also a new one he'd never seen: a tall Monster with brown hair and black glasses, wearing an open yellow shirt and a blue scarf. He also noticed the Anxiety Mosquito, Tito, buzzing around.

" NICKY!!!!", Tyler yelled when he spotted Nick. He ran up and tried to hug him, but Nick pushed him away. "It's so good to see you again!!! Oh I've missed you!!!"

Nick did his best to ignore him. It wasn't easy. Turning to Matthew, he asked. "Did you guys find anything over here?"

He shook his head. "Not a thing. Just a lot of bums and thieves. I seriously doubt this town even has a theater. If we're stuck here, I'll probably end up using that noose."

Missy looked around. "I dunno. It has a strange rustic charm. I feel a bit like Fatima in the Rock Of Gibraltar, in a town full of dangerous men, waiting to be rescued by a dashing hunk." She turned to Elijah and winked. He laughed nervously.

"Uh, sure Missy. If you were kidnapped I'd definitely rescue you. "

Suddenly, they heard a commotion coming from the docks. A tiny female voice yelled out. "No, stop!!! Get away from me!!! Somebody help!!!"

Jessi turned to Nick and the others. "Guys, come on!!! It sounds like somebody is in trouble. Come on!!!"

Missy's POV:

At once, everybody took off, running towards the commotion at the docks. Missy tried shouting at them to stop, but her shouts got lost in the shouts of her friends, and the shouts of the people at the dock. Elijah tried to run back toward her, but got caught between her friends and the Monsters, and the Toads running from whatever was going on, and was carried away. Soon, she was all by herself. Except for Mona.

"Oh Mona, this is crazy!! What in the world is going on??!"

Mona groaned. "I don't like it either Missy. To tell you the truth I'd almost rather be dealing with another attack at the office than stuck in this filthy podunk town. "

Missy tried an optimistic smile. " Well, it's not all that bad i suppose. Maybe, if we keep looking..."

"Oh Missy. Missy!!", came a voice from behind her. She turned to see a merchant sitting in the street she hadn't noticed before. A short, hooded woman in a brown robe. She was barely taller than Missy herself, and her hood covered her entire head and face. In front of the hooded woman was a blanket piled with an assortment of antiques. Vases, jewelry, fine silks, and crystals.

'How does she know my name?', Missy wondered. Then shook her head. 'She probably just means "Missy" as in "young lady." Still, she approached the strange woman carefully.

"Do you mean ME?", she asked. looking at the ancient items on the blanket.

"Yes, you Missy. Won't you buy something? I have a wide assortment of knickknacks and doodads!!"

Missy looked at the items carefully. She took a long look at the crystals. Her parents believed in the whole "crystals have the power to heal" thing, but Missy was starting to doubt some of the silly things they believed in.

Mona leaned in. "Oh, one of those crystals is perfectly phallic shaped. You could use it for a dildo. You wouldn't need that moldy old showerhead anymore. "

Missy rolled her eyes. " Mona!! I'm not putting a strange rock in my vagina. And i LIKE my showerhead, thank you. " She turned back to the blanket and gasped. "Well that's a pretty box! What's inside it?"

The hooded woman picked up the box. Missy could see it better. It was a small red and gold casket, with intricate designs, made of what looked like wood.

"It is said that this box holds a map that shows where a legendary treasure sleeps", said the hooded merchant. "But the box has a magic lock on it that will only open for a pure and noble heart. " She fiddled with the lock, but the box remained shut. " As you can see, it won't so much as budge if one such as myself touches it. "

The woman held out the box to Missy. "I know. If the box will open for you, Missy, then you may have whatever is inside. I am sure whatever is in there would be of no use to someone like me. "

She placed the box in Missy's hands. To her surprise, it was heavier than it looked. " So, Missy, take this box in your hands and see what happens. "

Missy swallowed nervously. "Uh. All right. What's the harm?"

Holding the box in one hand, she fiddled with the bejeweled lock with the other. To her surprise, the lock slid right off. Instantly, the box popped open, and a blinding light shone out of the box. Missy shielded her eyes as she looked into the box, trying to see the content within, not even noticing as the hooded woman stood up and moved toward her...

Jessi's POV:

When Jessi and her friends reached the harbor, they saw at once what all the noise was: a crowd was standing around watching as one of the short mushroomlike creatures ( Jessi had learned they were called Goombas by talking to some of them around town) was being menaced by a new group of strange creatures. These guys must have just recently arrived, because they hadn't been at the docks an hour or so ago when Jessi and her friends had arrived.

These new guys were short, squat creatures, dressed in red and white uniforms that went up to their face, hiding most of their features. The rest of their face was hidden by a white mask or hood and goggles. The only one dressed differently was a slightly taller man, obviously the guy in charge. He was dressed in black armor with a white X on the chest. His pants, however, were purple, as was his helmet, which had Viking-like horns. He also wore a tattered red cape. He advanced on the cowering Goomba, which Jessi now noticed was pink. She had a blonde ponytail, and wore a helmet with a flashlight of sorts attached. Jessi could see she was trying to be brave, but could tell she was frightened.

"What do you want?!! Get away from me, you freak!!!", said the blonde Goomba girl, taking another step back.

The Purple Man took another step forward, clenching his fists. " Oh come off it, you airhead!!", he growled. "I know it's tough for you, but don't play dumb with me. I've seen you walking around town asking for information about the Crystal Stars. Well now I'M doing the asking, so be a good girl and tell us what you know. Right. NOW!!!!"

The Goomba girl gulped, but stood her ground, still trying to be brave. "NEVER!!! I don't have anything to say to you creeps!! Eww!!!"

The Purple Man chuckled, a laugh that made Jessi's hair stand on end. " I suppose it wouldn't be right if a sassy little lass like you met with an untimely demise. Boys, we're taking this firebrand to our fortress!!!"

Several of the red-uniformed men stepped forward. " As you command, Lord Crump!! We're on it!!"

This time, the Goomba girl could no longer hide her fear. Her eyes went wide with fright. " No, stop it you weirdos!!! I'll scream!! REALLY!!!!"

Jessi turned to her friends. "We have to do something!! We have to help her!!!

Everybody looked at Jessi as if she were crazy. "Uh, how exactly can we help?", Nick asked. "We're KIDS. Children. "

Judd laughed and punched Nick on the arm. " Speak for yourself. I'm almost a MAN. "

Jessi looked from one of her friends to the other. "Well i can't just stand here. I'm going to help. Who's with me?!!"

Connie put her hand on her shoulder. "I'm with you, girl. I GOTTA be. If you got creamed, I'd have to find a new client, and everybody here is a fucking weirdo. "

Montel laughed. "I'm with you, Connie mommy!! Montel is gonna open a whole can of ass whoopin!!!"

Ali smiled. "I'll come with you Jessi. I haven't had a good fight since Missy. "

Jessi looked around her. "Um, where IS Missy? Last i saw here she was back in the square with us. Didn't she come with us?"

Everybody looked around and in back of them. "Damn, where is she?", Elijah said." Maybe i should go back and check. I'm no good in a fight. I'm a pacifist anyway. I'll meet you guys back in the square. Don't get killed. "

With that he ran off. Jessi sighed. " Look, forget about Missy. I'm sure she's safe. Safer than us. We gotta go help that girl. Who else is coming?"

Lola laughed. "I'm down for a scrap any time!! Nobody can throw down like Lola Skumpy!! Besides, after that old broad busted my ankle, I'm super pissed. I'm ready to MURDER some fools!!!"

Matthew shrugged. "I might as well help. No famous gay man has ever gotten famous without bloodying his knuckles in a fight."

Jay laughed. "I'll help. Magic is a very useful weapon. "

Val scoffed. "What are you gonna do, saw them in half?"

"Squirt them with a plastic flower?", Kurt added. "We're gonna go down there and give them a good old fashioned beating!!"

Judd pulled out a knife. "Good talk ladies, but i don't need magic OR fists!!!"

Leah scowled. "Judd, what are you doing? Don't go getting in trouble. You're on probation for spray painting that pharmacy. "

Judd smirked. " How are they gonna know? We're not on Earth no more, genius. " Leah rolled her eyes.

Nick sighed. "If you're going Judd, Jessi, i guess I'll come as well."

Leah growled. "Why did God give me two IDIOTS for brothers, and a drunk, miserable, disgusting slob for a grandpa?!! Go, get yourselves killed!!! I'm staying here!!"

Andrew gulped. "Maybe i should hang back too. Elijah might need help finding Missy.Wait, was that him calling? Coming, Elijah!!" With that, he took off.

Lump groaned. "I'm staying too. My irregular feet would just slow me down."

One of the Jansen twins chimed in. "We'll just stay here and feast on the bodies of the fallen." The twins laughed.

Jessi rolled her eyes in disgust. Turning to Devin she asked:" Devin? What about you? You coming?"

Devin tossed back her hair. "Why? It's not OUR problem. Why should we bother getting involved?!"

Jessi wanted to scream. "For once in you fucking life Devin, can't you care about something other than yourself?!! Something other than being popular, or being the center of attention??!!! You make me sick!!! For once, just get your head out of your ass and do something GOOD!!!!"

Devin scowled. She looked shocked and hurt, and her face was red as if Jessi had slapped her. Gina turned to her and added. "Devin, please. We need all the help we can get. Just do the right thing."

Devin looked from Jessi to Gina, still looking hurt and angry. Finally she sighed. "Ok fine. I'm bored anyway. And my shoes are ruined, so i really feel like hitting someone. Let's go."

Jessi stood up. Before she could run to the dock, the Anxiety Mosquito buzzed in front of her. "Wait!! We haven't thought this through!!", she shrieked in her tiny voice. "What if they have guns? What if they call in reinforcements? What if we DIE??!!!"

Jessi slapped the Mosquito away. She hit the wall with a splat. She turned to her volunteers. "Ok guys, get ready. Here. We. Go!!!"

With that, she and her friends ran down the harbor stairs toward the dock.

End of chapter 1

So, what do y'all think so far? I know some things are going a bit different from the game. I know Peach sent the map to Mario, and he met and saved Goombella when he first arrived, after Peach had already been kidnapped. But don't worry, i have a plan.

I had to omit SOME characters. I simply couldn't have ALL the characters. I know some are missing. Caleb. Lars. Charles Lu. Devon. I chose to write out Devon after his voice actor died. And because i didn't want anyone to stand in the way of Devin and Gina.

As i said i plan to include all of the partners from the game. Goombella. Koops. Flurrie. The Yoshi kid. Vivian. Bobbery. Ms Mowz. Don't worry, we'll see them all.

Oh, and if you're asking the most important question: "Will we get the part where Peach/Missy takes the invisible potion and goes streaking?" Well, let me put that question to rest: Yep.

However, SOME things will be different. Like, as i said, General Malice takes over for Bowser, just like Missy takes over for Peach and the kids take over for Mario. But i plan for Malice to be more evil than Bowser. Without spoiling anything, she does something off-game that's way more evil than anything Bowser did in the game. She really steps up her evilness after Human Resources.

Anyway, hopefully y'all won't have to wait long for chapter 2. I AM writing other stories, and will be jumping back and forth between them. But i already have chapter 2 pretty much planned, so hopefully it'll be out soon. Until then, see ya. Take care, y'all!!