Paint and Powder
A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
Defiant
Deep Space Nine
2371
It had been a few months since Defiant had come to the station. Kira was getting used to the shipgirl AI, slowly.
Her experience before the arrival of the Federation with AIs had been... Mixed, to say the least. The Cardassian AIs were just one more system of control for their oppressors. And Terok Nor herself wasn't exactly a good representative. She was still stuck up, but cooperative.
This new shipgirl though... She was baffling.
During morning prayers, she spotted the white haired gynoid sitting in the back of the temple, trying to appear inconspicuous but she was obviously watching in fascination. A few of the other parishioners glanced back at her, but most paid her little mind.
After service, Kira walked up to Defiant, who was watching intently as the Bajorans left the temple.
"Defiant? Did you need something?"
Defiant started, and looked up at Kira.
"Major, hello! Um... Well, actually, I do have some questions... Is it okay if we talk?"
She was the avatar of one of the most heavily armed and powerful warships in the quadrant, but Kira still intimidated her. Honestly, it was strange.
"Sure," Kira said kindly, leading the gynoid to the replimat.
Kira got some lunch, and Defiant got some candy. They both sat down. The gynoid nibbled on her food, before she spoke.
"Um... I guess I'm trying to understand faith," she admitted.
Kira frowned.
"Don't you have access to the Federation and Bajoran databases-?"
"Yes, but it's not really..." Defiant trailed off for a moment, "it's not very helpful. I get other sapient beings' answers, but nothing that exactly fits me."
Kira nodded slowly.
"I see. So, why not speak to the vedek? He'd be happy to-"
Defiant shook her head.
"I don't really know him very well," she admitted, "but I know you."
Kira hummed.
"All right... I'll help if I can. But it's not exactly easy to explain."
Defiant nodded.
"That's what Commander Sisko said," she replied. She looked thoughtful for a moment.
"I guess I want to ask... If you believe the Prophets are good, why would there be pain in the universe?"
Kira smiled softly.
"I asked myself that a lot growing up," she admitted, "there were times I was so angry with the Prophets, I even... Hated them for a while."
Defiant blinked.
"You hated them? Your gods?"
"Faith isn't about a perfect relationship, because nothing is perfect," Kira explained quietly. She sipped her coffee before continuing.
"There are scriptures that are nothing but angry rants at the Prophets. The Trials of Hagur even talks about a man who loses everything to natural disasters-His home, his wife, his children, everything. He was so angry with the Prophets... But he never stopped talking to them. Telling them everything he was going through, giving them all his hatred and pain."
Kira sucked in a breath.
"There are a lot of answers to the problem of pain. My father said that people need the freedom to make bad choices, because if they could only make good choices, we wouldn't be free. It would be pointless."
Kira looked away into her memories, seeing a small village and an empty house.
"The Prophets are there though, through every trial. All of the sadness and grief and suffering, they are there. It's okay to be angry with them. It's okay to be sad. But they are there with you through it all, offering you strength and opportunities. They know how it's all going to end, and we don't. So we have to trust them. And they've given me enough reason to trust in them."
"But others might go down the same path, through the same trials, and not see things the same way," Defiant pointed out. Kira nodded.
"Yes. Because it has to be a choice. A real choice."
She sipped her coffee, and set it down. She looked intently into Defiant's eyes.
"It doesn't make it easy. There's always doubt. There's always fear. But when you enter into a relationship with the Prophets, you've agreed to stick with them, through thick and thin. Because I've seen enough... Gone through enough... To know they are there for me. And I want to walk where they lead me."
She smiled gently.
"If I hadn't done that... I wouldn't be here, helping the Emissary. Helping Bajor and the Federation. Or helping you."
Defiant nodded slowly, and was silent. Kira sucked in a breath, feeling a bit too vulnerable.
"I-I don't know if that helps-"
"No, it... It really does," Defiant interrupted, smiling, "it's something shipgirls ask a lot, actually. If we have free will, or if we're just a program that emulates living processes."
She paused, and then continued.
"A lot of people in the Federation believe we're just machines. Just programs. But most of us believe that we're more than that. I don't know if that means there's a God or not, but... I don't have sufficient data to make a decision with 100 percent certainty. So... I guess I choose to believe that I am more."
Defiant looked at Kira, a bit worried.
"I'm sorry, is that offensive?"
Kira's smile was very wide and genuine.
"No, not at all," she said, "honestly? I think the fact you're asking those questions, is answer enough."
I did actually like most of the Bajoran religion episodes in Deep Space Nine as they dealt with the subject quite maturely. No preaching one way or the other, just leaving it up to the audience to decide for themselves. So I think Kira and Defiant could bond over this subject, as whether or not an AI is truly sapient, has a "soul" so to speak, is just as difficult a question to answer as to the existence of a soul for a flesh and blood being.
