A/N: No double update today, but I do bring this long chapter that is one of my personal favorites of this story that I had the pleasure of re-writing and adding a new fun extra scene between Emma and Regina. I hope you all like it. I thank you all for your patience. :) So, ya'll know, Wednesday and Thursday there will be no updates, given that I shall be paying my respects and giving my final goodbyes to a family member. But there will be more to look forward to. Happy reading!
Please, I ask that for those of you who want to know if you can translate this story or use it in another fandom. My answer is NO, so please stop asking. Thank you.
Chapter 38: Regina
'This is how I am. This is how I'll always be.' Emma's sweet words, along with the brush of her lips still lived inside of me. It rang in my ears like a siren. The warmth of Emma's lips against mine was far better than my own lipstick. I felt horrible for Audrey. She really loved Emma, and I didn't have to have sight to see that. And the thought of Emma ending her relationship with Audrey was painful even for me. But I also hated myself for admitting that that day would be the happiest day in my life, because it meant that Emma wanted to be with me. Emma wanted to be with me.
God- but at what price? At the price of my own daughter's broken heart? But I think of Emma, of the way she looks at me- like no one's ever looked at me- and it makes me smile. Another thing no one has ever made me easily do. How did she do that? And when she kissed me… I never imagined I would actually be as anxious to kiss anyone as I was about kissing Emma.
I bring the tip of my nails up to my lips, feeling the absence of Emma's lips against mine. My heart accelerates at the thought. At her words that never fail to create a tornado inside of my stomach, her promises that like it or not, I was starting to believe. I'll give Ms. Swan that- she was naturally passionate.
Was this how it was? Was this how you were supposed to feel to the point where you couldn't breathe? Where you smiled to no end and easily forget things, including your surroundings?
"Mom?"
"What?" I blink to the sound of Audrey's voice, which I suspected has been calling out to me more than once. And apparently I had also forgotten that we were at the mall today with Emma included.
"I asked you if you like these," Audrey holds up a pair of earrings with diamonds hanging at the end of them like water drops. "Or these." She holds up a pair of hooped earrings to show me.
"Um," I study both pairs quickly. "The first ones. I really like those." I really did like the earrings. They were a little pricey for my liking, but if I could buy them, I would.
"Em, what do you think?" Audrey turns to Emma to show her.
"I agree with your mom, I like these better." Emma points to the water drop earrings, and I have to hide a small smile.
"Really?" Audrey leaned into a small mirror, placing the diamond earrings up to her ear, followed by the second pair. "Hm, I don't know. I'm not too convinced they look good on me. I think the hooped ones will look better tonight." She said.
Tonight. It was the last week of June and Audrey had to convince Emma quite a lot to have her go dancing with her and her friends. But what surprised me all the more, was that Emma was adamant that I accompanied them. I should have said no, but Emma said I deserved to get out of the house, and it was my last night of freedom before Leopold's return, given that it was now the last week of June. Not to mention Audrey had invited me. Of course, the idea of seeing Audrey and Emma dance didn't exactly thrill me, so it was rather conflicting.
"I'm going to go look over there." Audrey pointed toward the direction she headed, leaving Emma and I alone.
Being unexpectedly left alone together with Emma had become hers and my favorite situation. It was scary how quickly Emma and I had become accustomed to our situation of an unspoken forbidden temptation between the two of us. We would talk low and in secret, in ways that Emma and I understood each other. Emma and I were friends. Friends who were undoubtedly attracted to one another. Friends who wanted to become more. Friends who behind every closed door and any given chance, would succumb to the temptation of feeling our lips brush together in a tender kiss.
Yes, I was being unfaithful. I wasn't proud of it. But, I never imagined to come face to face with someone like Emma. I never imagined I would begin to feel what I did for her. And after seeing what type of monster Leopold could be, I never imagined being brave enough to cheat. But, Emma. Not only was she passionate, tender, caring and patient. But, she was so inviting that I simply couldn't help myself around her.
People say, there's always a first time for everything. Well, this was our time.
I was still trying to get used to every compliment Emma would throw my way, to every glance and seeing nothing but kindness behind it. Appreciation. Emma actually appreciated me. I had a lot to get used to with Emma. Sometimes it was a wonder what she ever saw in me to become as interested as she is to where she would be okay with us hiding behind a closed door to share the most tender of kisses.
Was I this worth it? I often wondered.
And one sweet compliment, or spoken words from Emma that would sweep me off my feet would sometimes make me feel like I probably was.
"What?" Asks Emma after I chuckle and shake my head.
"This is crazy, Emma." I said, finding her eyes looking right into mine. "I should just stay home tonight and let you and Audrey go out dancing."
"Why?" Emma's brow furrows.
"Because," my eyes fell on a pair of earrings before me. "If I keep tagging along with you two as a third wheel, Audrey is going to suspect something or worse."
Emma makes her way around as I move along. "First and foremost, Regina, you aren't a third wheel." She said. Emma's eyes look over to Audrey, who was none the wiser of our conversation, before looking back at me. "And second, I recall Audrey inviting you to join us. Audrey doesn't suspect anything, because there's nothing to be suspicious about."
I chuckle, keeping my voice low. "No, of course not. Except for the fact that I like my daughter's girlfriend."
Emma's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, it was so endearing how happy it made her to know what was well known between us. "And your daughter's girlfriend happens to like you very much." She looks over her shoulder at Audrey before reaching over as if she was going to grab the same item, I was, simply so our fingertips could brush. My heart stops.
Sharing any type of contact with Emma always made me forget where I was. It could make me forget my own name. It made me begin to wonder just how much gentler Emma could be.
"You'll save me a dance tonight… Won't you?" Emma's voice is as gentle as the touch of her fingertips. And when she looked at me with that gentle spark in her eye, I could never deny her anything.
Just as I was about to respond to Emma's request, my eyes looked over her shoulder and was surprised to see Belle walking right before us. My hand immediately pulled back from Emma's.
"Regina? I thought that was you!" Belle grins and leans in to place a kiss along my cheek.
"Belle," I smile and turn to nod toward Emma. "You remember Emma, don't you?" I said.
"Yes, of course- Emma!" Belle grins and places a kiss along Emma's cheek in greeting. "It's always good to see you. How are you?"
"Always good to see you, Belle. Fine, thank you." Emma smiles.
"Can you believe how fast time flies? I mean, we're nearing July already!" Belle snaps her fingers. "In the blink of an eye!" She turns to Emma. "You must be excited to return to school. I'm sorry, what are you studying for again?"
"Photography." Said Emma.
"Right!" Belle reached for Emma's arm and smiled. "Regina did mention that you were rather good with a camera."
"Uh-" As Emma turns to me with an appreciative grin, I feel a hot blush rush up my neck, all the way to my cheeks. "Shopping for more books, Belle?" I rapidly change the conversation.
"You know me so well," Belle chuckles. "Is Audrey here?" She looks around for signs of Audrey, while Emma and I share a quick glance.
"She is." I nod.
"Oh, well, would you want to come to the bookstore with me?" Belle asks me, quickly turning back to Emma. "Oh, you don't mind if I steal her away for a minute or two, do you, Emma?"
"Not at all." Emma smiles in response, turning my way. "I'll see you later?" She asked me, to which I nod as I follow Belle to the bookstore.
"Emma's really nice, isn't she?" Belle asks as we enter the bookstore.
"She is," I smile as I brush back a strand of hair. "Leopold and I have certainly grown to like her." I said, portraying Leopold as the type of husband he never was.
"You know, it's interesting," Belle picks up a book from a pile along a table we walk past, flipping it over to quickly read the summary on the back. "Out of everyone I've ever met, Emma is the first girl I know that doesn't crumble to your husband's intense gaze." She places the book back along the pile. "I'd say that makes her a keeper."
It was interesting to me how even Belle could notice Emma's strong and brave will. I smile as we enter an aisle of shelves. "Certainly does. Sometimes I find myself fascinated by her ways." I chuckle.
"And what ways are those?" Belle looks at me questioningly, and I wonder if she could possibly see something in my smile, perhaps my expression that gives away my feelings toward Emma.
"Uh, just her way of seeing life. It always amazes me when someone as young as her already has her future mapped out for her. I only wish I had been like that at her age." I said, speaking the truth.
"Tell me about it," Belle rolls her eyes. "I sometimes wish I would have waited to marry Bobby and done so much more with my life."
I turn to Belle, obviously surprised by her sudden confession. "But you fell in love with Robert, didn't you?"
"Of course," Belle picks up another book to inspect. "I love him dearly, and he knows I love him. Hell, the whole world knows I love him." She chuckles and tucks the book underneath the security of her arm. "And God bless Bobby, he has given me everything a girl could only dream of having. But sometimes I would have loved to have waited to marry him and just enjoy life a little bit more."
I chuckle, "I would say you enjoy it plenty, dear. Far more than I do." That was certain. I could recall many vacations Robert Gold had with Belle.
"Maybe you should talk to Leopold and try convincing him to take you on vacation for your anniversary." Belle's eyes light up. "Paris is really nice this time of year. Robert loves it there."
With everything going on with Emma lately, I had forgotten about my anniversary almost coming up, along with my birthday. Not that I had any reason to look forward to those two dates. I was certain that hell could freeze over and Leopold still wouldn't find it in his heart to take me anywhere. Then again, I didn't mind. Spouses you loved each other and were devoted to one another traveled together, did things together. I did not love Leopold and he certainly didn't love me.
"Oh, did you hear about Victoria?" Belle asked, drifting me away from my thoughts. "She is finally getting divorced from her husband."
"What?"
Victoria wasn't a friend of mine, nor of Belle's but we knew her through Robert's acquaintances.
"You didn't hear it from me but," Belle looks around as if someone could eavesdrop on our conversation. "I hear it was because she fell in love with a younger man. Practically someone her daughter's own age. Can you imagine that?"
"No." I frown and a knot of nerves settles on the inside of my stomach. "Do you think that's wrong? Giving yourself a chance with someone who is younger than you?" I ask, wanting to know Belle's views on age difference relationships.
"Well," Belle sighs, pondering on her answer that it wrecks my nerves. "I guess as long as the younger person isn't under age, who cares who you fall in love with," she shrugs. "Besides, it's not like one can fight against matters of the heart. Maybe that's what happened with Victoria."
"Who are we to judge, Belle? Especially when we both are younger than our husbands." I picked up a book to inspect myself.
"True, but they are far more experienced." Said Belle, and then she asked me something I did not expect. "Would you ever date someone younger than you?"
My eyes are wide as I turn to her. "Me?"
"Yeah. Say around Emma's age. She's what-?"
"Twenty-five." My cheeks are crimson red. I place the book back to avoid making any type of eye-contact with Belle. "And I don't think that's an appropriate source of conversation, Belle, I mean, Emma is dating Audrey."
"Okay, but hypothetically speaking- if Emma- or anyone younger than you would want to date you, would you?" Belle seemed overly fascinated by this topic, I wish she wouldn't ask anymore questions that were making me rather nervous.
"Hey, Belle!" Audrey comes up before I can even answer Belle's question and I am beyond grateful for that. "Emma said you were here."
"How are you, Audrey? It's always good to see you." Belle smiles.
"Did you finally decide on earrings?" I ask Audrey.
"Oh, yeah, and I have just the outfit for them, too." Audrey grins, holding up her shopping bag.
"Good. Well, Belle," I turn back to Belle, placing a kiss along her cheek. "It was wonderful to see you. Let's have lunch sometime."
"Of course! Call me, anytime!" I thanked whatever higher power was watching over me to make us leave and not have to answer Belle's previous question.
Our night out dancing was exactly how I thought it would be. Emma and Audrey enjoyed a couple of dances while I sat quietly in our booth, occasionally, sipping on my apple martini. Until they finally came back to the table. To see Audrey's hands all over Emma, and witnessing Emma's discomfort around Audrey as they danced, it was hard not to say anything. But I did it. I had to keep my composure.
I mean, what did I expect? To be dancing with Emma all night and have Audrey sitting down? That wasn't going to happen.
"Hey, we should all go back to my house! Keep this night going. What do you say?" Alex asked.
"Yeah, let's go!" Audrey beamed at Emma, and Emma immediately shook her head.
"No, I'm- I'm gonna pass on that." Said Emma.
"No," Audrey frowns and Amanda and Alex protest. Except for myself, who, like Emma, I couldn't wait to get back home for some peace and quiet. "Come on, Em. Don't be such an old lady. You never turned down a good night."
"Yeah, come on, Em. It'll be fun. We promise not to keep you guys so late." Said Amanda.
Emma gives me a quick glance and I share a small smile with her, basically telling her that it's okay if she wanted to go. I was no one to hold her back. "No, really." Said Emma, "I don't mean to be rude, but I just want to call it a night."
Audrey frowns, "Can you guys excuse us for just a minute?" I stare quietly as Alex and Amanda exit the booth to give Audrey and Emma enough room to scoot out and step aside where they could talk more privately.
"Are you sure you don't want to join us Mrs. White?" Amanda asks me kindly.
"Oh, no," I returned her smile. "I appreciate the invitation, but I think I'll just go on home."
"Are you sure?" Alex asks. "You know, we don't mind having you around. You're actually a pretty cool, mom."
A cool mom. My smile widens, "Thank you, Alex. But, really, you all go. Have fun."
"Alright," Amanda shrugs before she turns to Alex. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."
"I'll come with you." Said Alex, leaving with Amanda.
I turn my attention back to Emma and Audrey. I can't hear everything they are saying due to the music playing loudly around us, but I know, judging from Audrey's tone of voice, that she isn't happy Emma decided to stay behind.
"What do you mean? Nothing's going on with me, I just don't want to prolong this night. Is that so wrong? I could pick up on Emma's response to whatever Audrey had said first, due to her not keeping her voice level to a whisper.
"Well, I don't know, you tell me. Lately, you haven't been wanting to do things like we used to." Said Audrey, and I'm unable to understand the rest of their conversation. After a few more exchanged words, Audrey looks more at ease as she walks up to me. "Mom, I"m going to go over to Alex's house, but Emma is going to take you home. Is that okay?"
I blink, my eyes wide as I'm staring at my daughter before I look over to Emma. "I- Yes. Yes, of course." I clear my throat. "Just be careful, dear." I said.
"God, you guys sound a lot alike." Audrey chuckles. She gathers up her purse before placing a kiss along my cheek. "I'll be home later. Bye, I'll be careful." She waves goodbye to Emma and meets with Amanda and Alex.
Once again, Emma and I are left to be alone. My eyes move to Emma who is sliding into the booth, sitting right next to. At close proximity. She glances over her shoulder to make sure Audrey and her friends were nowhere in sight.
"You should have gone with them, Emma." I feel a small blush settle along my cheeks. I blame the martini's I had tonight, but really, I know that Emma is responsible for it.
"All they'll do is drink." Said Emma, shaking her head. She turns to me as the music ends and I chuckle. "What? What did I say?"
"Audrey's right, you're acting like an old lady." I reach for my martini glass to set it aside. I can see Emma fake a shocked look in a playful manner, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open. It takes everything for me not to laugh.
"You wound me," Emma's hand splays mockingly over her chest. "I hope you know that." A laugh escapes me and she smiles.
It's amazing how easily Emma and I could get along. Even more so, how easily she could always make me laugh.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask Emma, seeing her eyes never leaving me. They are gentle, and so focused on me as I look right into them. Now that we were alone, I realized how close we were sitting to one another, practically side by side, with only an inch of space between us. Emma was so close, I could smell her perfume.
"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" Asks Emma, her sea green eyes sparkling all the more that I can't look away.
Another wave of heat coats my cheeks, "Please, don't say things like that." I murmur.
I loved it when Emma said things like that, but the truth of it was, every time she did, it made it even harder for me not to fall for her. More than I was already falling.
"You mean, not give you a compliment?" Emma's head tilts. "Why not?"
"I'm not sure if you're aware, dear, but I'm not used to being complimented."
"Does it offend you?" Asks Emma, her eyes never leaving mine.
I don't think anything Emma could do could offend me. "It probably should," I chuckle, my cheeks turning crimson. "But, how can something I like so much possibly offend me? Especially coming from you. God," I scoff at myself, feeling utterly ridiculous. I've had enough martini's for the night. "Listen to me. You must think I'm ridiculous."
"Not at all."
"Well, you should." My eyes intently lock with Emma's. "You should be running in the opposite direction. You should have gone with Audrey and her friends, do things people your age do, not stay behind to keep me company."
"Would you prefer I leave?" Emma's brow lifts and the corner of her mouth threatens to tilt into a smirk.
"Yes-" I nod, seeing a surprised look in Emma's expression. "No." I chuckle. "No. I'm actually glad you stayed. That's what's so conflicting. You. Are a very conflicting person, Emma Swan."
"No one's ever described me that way before," Emma chuckles, looking at me as if I were the most fascinating person to talk to in the entire universe. But really, I knew she was as happy as can be to finally have a moment with me. Like I was beyond happy to finally have this moment with her. "Then again, I've never been described as a 'forbidden temptation,' either. You certainly are a many firsts for me, Regina."
A many firsts? I chuckle at this. "Forgive me for saying this, but I highly doubt that."
Emma's brow lifts again and her head tilts in a quizzical manner.
My cheeks turn beet red. God, here was Emma being as sweet as can be, and I had to open my big mouth and say something so disrespecting to her. "Well, you know, you've… You've been around." Been around? God, that's even worse! My eyes are wide and I quickly shake my head, "No- I'm sorry! That is not how I meant to- Sh-" I groan, frustrated with myself. "I just meant that you have evidently had many girlfriends. That's all."
Emma's smile positively grows and while I am relieved that she isn't angry or offended by what I said, my embarrassment over what I said was not going anywhere anytime soon.
"I'm really sorry," I said. "What I'm getting at, Emma, is that you are obviously very experienced. I doubt you'll have many 'firsts' with someone like me."
"Someone like you?" Emma echoes, her eyes doing something I never thought they could do. They turned even more gentle, it was like looking directly into heaven. "Regina… It is true, I've had some girlfriends before I met you, or Audrey. But since we're being honest, and I hope you don't take this as a lame pick-up line, because trust me, I don't have any of those," As Emma's body scoots a little closer to me, closing the inch that stood between us, I notice her arm is casually resting behind me. "But you are the first woman to make me feel what I feel, every time you're near."
How did Emma always know what to say to me to make me fall for her more and more? With so many sweet words and compliments thrown my way from her, under different circumstances I would say she was lying through her teeth to try and impress the mother of her girlfriend. But this wasn't that. Emma no longer looked at me as her girlfriend's mother. To her I was just Regina. Someone I could clearly see by the look in her eye, she really really liked.
"And," My voice comes out in a whisper that I know Emma is able to hear, given our close proximity to one another. "What exactly do I make you feel?" I begin to lean in as Emma starts leaning in closer and closer. My eyes fall to her lips before they begin to slowly close and I feel our lips barely begin to brush-
"Emma?" A voice that I don't recognize in the moment startles us both, making us part as we turn in the direction of whoever was suddenly standing before us. She was the same beautiful brunette we had a run in with at the bookstore, days before Emma's birthday. I couldn't place her name, but just like that day, she was smiling. "Hi. I thought that was you. I could always recognize you, even at a distance."
Emma, just like the day of our first encounter, didn't look happy to see her. Her body language went from being completely relaxed and content to stiff and with tension around her shoulders. "Lily," Lily! That was her name. Emma nods coldly. "You remember, Regina?"
"Yes, of course." Lily stretches across the table to stretch my hand, which I willingly accept. "Good to see you again, Regina." She says with a kind smile.
"Good seeing you." I return her smile.
Lily didn't seem like a bad girl. A little misguided, maybe, but she surely wasn't a girl with bad intentions. Whatever happened between her and Emma, I could tell she was definitely sorry if she made the effort to come up and talk to her inside a crowded place.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything." Said Lily, motioning between Emma and I.
"Of course you didn't." Emma murmurs under her breath, loud enough for me to hear, given our close proximity. Her body shifting in her seat as if she'd rather be anywhere but here again.
"I just wanted to come and say hi, so hi." Lily waves, and I give her a small smile.
"Are you here alone?" I feel free to ask her, which I instantly regret given the surprised glance Emma gives me. As if I was purposefully prolonging her departure from us.
"Oh, no, I'm with- I see a hand land on Lily's shoulder, followed by a very drunk acquaintance. He was surprisingly short in stature, black, dark hair, not a full beard, and dark eyes which gave me an uneasy feeling.
"Lily, come on, we've been waiting-" His intoxicated state shifts and his words pause as soon as he sees Emma. I wondered if they knew each other as well, to which my question was soon answered. "Emma?" He gives Lily a smug look while Lily rolls her eyes. "Holy shit, it is you!" He turns back to Emma. "Emma Swan. I don't know if you remember me, but we used to go to school together."
Emma was quieter than I had ever seen her, her body and shoulders stiffer than I had ever seen them. Giving me the impression that whoever he was; he didn't have a good reputation.
"What, you're not even going to say hi?" He grinned, quite sinister if you ask me, which made me shift in my seat.
Emma bit the inside of her cheek before she forced some words out, "How are you, Neal?" She murmured, her angry eyes landing on Lily who couldn't look more apologetic if she tried. "I see some friendships are hard to drop, huh, Lily?" She asked.
I needed to step in before this tense situation became out of hand. "Emma," I gently touch Emma's arm. "Should we go?" I suggest.
"That's a great idea, let's go." As soon as Emma shifts in her seat, I am quick to begin making my way out of it to allow Emma to follow. I was thankful Emma was just as eager to leave as I was. Neal however, had other plans as he stepped in before us, blocking our path.
"Hey, hold on a minute, come on," He chuckles, almost losing his balance. I shifted back as he stood a little too close for my liking. You could practically smell the heavy amount of alcohol on his breath. "You're not still holding onto grudges, are you? I mean that was High School. We were stupid kids. Forgive and forget, right?"
"Emma," Lily spoke. "I'm sorry." She turns to Neal, having had enough of him already. "Neal, will you just go back over there?"
"What am I saying?" He shrugs. I look down and notice a beer bottle in his hand, clutched as if it was his lifeline.
"Just knock it off." Lily murmured to him.
Between the three of them, Emma seemed like the more mature one in this group. It was then I realized that Emma was far more mature than I had allowed myself to believe, which was like a breath of fresh air.
"I'm sorry," I smile their way. "It was really nice meeting you both, Lily- it was good seeing you again, but Emma and I will just call it a night." I begin to move past them as Emma allows me to walk out of the crowded environment first. I feel a hand grab me roughly along the arm and turn abruptly, finding Neal's hand wrapped around it.
"Hey," Neal's grip along my arm only tightens. "She's not your mom, is she, Em? I don't remember your mom being this hot." He said, his eyes darkening as he looked into mine. I freeze.
"Neal, stop it!" Lily protests, grabbing hold of Neal's hand.
But what takes me by surprise is how quick Emma's own hand appears along Neal's arm, her eyes darkened, face hard like stone. "Don't touch her, Neal," she warns him, and I'm not sure what to do.
"Oh, what? Are you turning every woman gay for you, just like you did with-?"
"Shut up, Neal-" I hear Lily shout, yanking on his free hand.
Last thing I remember as Neal turns back to face Emma is Emma's tight fist striking him right on the nose before his body goes back and onto the floor.
"Emma!" I grab onto Emma's arms, squeezing them before taking her hand and inspecting it. It's stained with blood, but I can't tell if it's from Neal's obviously broken nose or if Emma injured her hand by hitting him. "Are you alright?" I ask her, immediately turning to Lily who is helping Neal back on his feet. "Is he alright?"
"He'll be fine. If anything, he deserved it." Said Lily, pulling Neal up by his bloodied shirt as he held onto his nose. "I'm sorry, Emma." She said before shoving Neal away from us and into the crowd. All eyes on Emma, and some on Neal.
Once alone again, I quickly turn to Emma, reaching out for her hand again which is balled into a fist and held up against her chest. "Are you alright?" I ask her, my voice filled with concern. "Did you break it?"
"It'll be fine." Emma holds her hand before me, expands her fingers and pulls them back into a fist. I knew she was making sure it wasn't broken, which told me she wasn't a hundred percent sure if it was or not, either. But I know that when something is broken, you can't move at all. "I'm really sorry." She said, as if she would have been the blame for what happened.
"Let's just get out of here." I nod, holding onto Emma's arm as we walk our way through the crowd until we reach the exit.
I turn to Emma as soon as we reach her yellow bug, holding out my hand. "Give me your keys."
"What?" Emma's eyes are wide, but there is a crease along her brow.
"You aren't driving like that, give me your keys." I said.
"Regina, I'm fine-"
"Ms. Swan. Don't argue with me. Now, give me your keys, please. I'm driving." I look into Emma's eyes, determined to have her hand over her keys.
Against her will, or because maybe Emma can't deny me anything- I can't figure out which it is, she hands over her keys to me, placing them in the palm of my hand. On our drive, I began to reach for my phone, carefully looking at my contact list and tapping on Victor's name.
"What are you doing?" Asks Emma, her eyes wide again as she clutches her hand against her chest.
"I'm calling Victor. He needs to have a look at that hand." I said.
Emma shakes her head, "Regina, no. My hand it's fine, it's probably just swollen. That's all. Nothing to call the doc about."
"It might be broken, Emma. You can't leave it that way." I said, preparing myself to call Victor. My thumb hovers over his number when Emma takes the phone from my hand." Emma, don't be stubborn!"
"I'm not! But, just, think about this for a minute, okay? The doc's probably asleep by now, and you're going to wake up over a hand that isn't broken." Emma's eyes are trained adamantly on me. "Please. I assure you it's fine. Please."
I take a breath, followed by another to calm myself down, shaking my head. Why was she such a child? But I knew Emma. There was no changing her mind when she had it set on something, and what she would come to learn tomorrow was that there was no changing mine either. "Fine." I breathe, tucking my phone away. "But," I lift a finger in a warning of my own, throwing a hardened glance her way. "Like it or not, I am taking you to see Victor tomorrow, even if I have to tie you to the roof of your car and drive you over there myself. No if's, and's or but's."
"Yes, ma'am." I look over to catch a small smirk wanting to creep up the corner of Emma's lip.
"And we are stopping at a pharmacy for a first aid kit. I am mending that hand myself." I said through gritted teeth, growing frustrated. I wasn't sure if it was because of Emma's stubbornness or because she wanted to smile.
I glance over to find that small smirk still threatening to stretch along her lip, but chose to ignore it and call it a win when Emma doesn't protest to the stop I make at the first pharmacy I see. After I buy the first aid kit, we both agree on not going home. Instead, we drive over to the same cliff where we could look over the city with all the privacy we needed to have.
We park and the radio is on low volume, serenading us while I reach over to grab hold of Emma's hand and begin to mend her wounds, like so many times Emma had mend mine. I hear a sharp hiss come from Emma, her hand jerking on instinct as I place a damp cotton ball along the small cuts along her knuckles. "Sorry," I murmur, covering the cuts in some antiseptic cream before wrapping a bandage over it. "Would you mind explaining to me, what on Earth were you thinking on hitting that creep, Ms. Swan?"
Emma avoids looking into my eyes for a minute until she sighs, "Gina."
Was I angry at her? Of course not. I had become worried and frightened for Emma. What if that creep had stood back up and hit her back? What then? And right now, I didn't quite feel like the woman who had this undying attraction for her.
"No. Do you not realize how stupid that was of you to do?" My eyes find Emma's in the darkness of the vehicle while I am tying the ends of the bandage along her hand. "You could have gotten hurt, or worse-"
"Ow!" Emma hisses, slightly pulling back her hand as I pull the ends of the knot a little too hard for her hand to handle. Maybe I was a little mad. "Well, I certainly love knowing that if something were to happen to me, you'd worry." The corner of Emma's lip rises into that idiotic, yet irresistible smirk that I love to see.
I scoff and roll my eyes. "Don't you dare make jokes now, Emma." I shake my head, closing the first aid kit and tossing it along the backseat.
"I'm sorry." Said Emma in a gentle manner. Her eyes never leave mine and I am on the verge of tears. "I just- he grabbed you and I, I didn't like it, alright? I got angry, and when he grabbed you, I just… I couldn't think of anything else to do."
I look away but quickly sigh and turn back to look into Emma's eyes, those gentle, beautiful sea-green eyes that can make my entire world make sense. "I can understand that, I suppose." I really could. After all, Emma did promise to keep me safe. "But that was still-"
"Stupid," Emma nods. "I know." She looks down at her bandaged hand, inspecting it. "You did a really good job." I know Emma well enough now to know when she's trying to lighten the tension around us. And it works. Every time.
"Years of practice, Ms. Swan." I replied.
"As much as I love it when you call me, Ms. Swan, could you not say it in that 'motherly' tone you use?" Her nose wrinkles in the most adorable way. "The last thing I need is for you to remind me of my own mom when we find ourselves in the most romantic spot ever. It'll just ruin my heroic moment."
I scoff out a chuckle this time, "Heroic?"
"Okay, idiotic." Emma rolls her eyes as she finally agrees with me on something, even if yes, I can see how it was a little heroic. She's quiet for a minute as if in thought before she says, "When I was in High School, I met Lily." Emma is facing forward as I turn to look at her, ready and willing to listen. "We became best friends, and hung around each other a lot, after school, during, that kind of thing." She pauses, her jaw clenched. "By the time Neal joined our school, Lily and I were already together, but she wasn't exactly 'out,' then. She was still kind of confused with herself, but I knew, more than anything, that I wanted to be with Lily at the time. You know, how one is at that age, you think you're on top of the world and that the person you're with is going to be the one that will last you forever."
Emma didn't look at me, but I smiled a little, listening attentively as she opened up to me. I could hear the sadness in Emma's voice and it wounded me.
"Well, anyway, as you can guess, that wasn't the case." Emma swallowed hard, as if swallowing hurt her throat. "Neal liked Lily ever since he saw her. Of course, to her, he's always been more like a brother figure, which I believe is true. But Neal, he always hoped for more. He didn't know about Lily and I, since I would always keep what we had our secret. But one day, all of that changed." Emma inhales a sharp and steady breath, releasing it calmly. "One of Neal's jock friends saw Lily and I kissing at one of his parties, and like the loyal friend that he was, he ratted to Neal about it." I hear her chuckle. "The next day at school, and every day from then on was like a living nightmare for me. My mom had to switch schools because at the time she was a teacher there, and rumor got around that I had 'converted,'" Her fingers move in air-quote signals. "Lily to be gay."
As Emma laughs at the memory now, I can't help but feel a sting of anger of my own. I was never one to seek violence, but as far as I was concerned Neal deserved that punch Emma gave him tonight. And I hope he was in a great deal of pain for ever hurting Emma the way he did.
"I've never told anyone that story before." Said Emma, and I gave her another little smile. Thankful that she was confining in me enough to share this horrific experience with me. Emma turns my way. "I'm sorry if I scared you tonight. I didn't mean to scare you, I just… I saw red, Regina. As soon as I saw him put his hands on you," her jaw clenches and her eyes grow a little dark again, neglecting the gentleness in them for a moment. "I made you a promise that Leopold was never going to hurt you again, but that promise goes for anyone who even dares to look at you the wrong way."
Emma. My own personal knight in shining armor. How could I not feel everything I do for her? How can I possibly think about fighting against it anymore? Especially when Emma really does keep her promises.
Beauty queen of only eighteen, she-
Had some trouble with herself.
He was always there to help her, she- always belonged to someone else.
The words to the song that quickly becomes familiar to me ring in my ears. The words speaking directly through me. This was the same song Emma had wanted to dance with me the first night she taught me how to dance. This was the same song I wanted to dance with her. Playing on the radio in low volume for only us to enjoy this time.
"We never did have that dance tonight, did we?" I asked, finding Emma's eyes locking onto mine.
As Emma picked up on the familiarity of the song, the corners of her lips tugged in a warm and loving smile. "In my experience, any place is good for a dancing moment." She said.
I smile and we both exit our sides of Emma's vehicle, meeting along the back of it. As we stand face to face, Emma holds out her left hand to me. "May I have this dance?" She asks.
I chuckle and this time don't deny her of such a dance. Emma carefully pulls me into her embrace, grabbing a hold of my own hand with her injured one.
I hear her hiss sharply before she switches her injured hand to be placed along my hip, while she holds my hand with the other. "Are you sure your hand will be okay?" I ask in concern.
"I can say yes, but you won't believe that, will you?" Asked Emma.
"Not when you hiss that way, no." I shake my head, hearing a light hum escape from Emma's chest while we begin dancing in sync this time. I am allowing her to lead. "But somehow you can still manage to dance, which I must admit, is quite impressive."
Emma chuckles, bare teeth and all, "Well, I want to live to impress you."
"Emma," Once again, I feel my cheeks heat up by an unexpected blush.
"No, it's true. I could have broken a foot tonight, and I would still gladly dance with you if given the chance. Pain be damned." My eyes lock into Emma's and I can see that gentle sparkle shy brighter than the city lights below us. How can she always say the sweetest things? And to me.
"How do you always know the right thing to say, Ms. Swan?" I had to ask out loud, my smile reaching my eyes, not feeling as shy as I did right now.
"I don't," I'm surprised as Emma suddenly spins me out, pulls me back and envelopes me back into her embrace so swiftly. "But if you really must know, you have my mom to thank for that. I have a lot of her in me, and being good with words is one of my specialties."
"Now, I thought you said not to remind you of your mother." My brow lifts.
"True, I'm sorry, okay," Emma breathes, and this time I'm not shy to grin. "Change of subject."
"Oh, I can't wait."
Emma grins, and this is how I know that the tension that had surrounded us was fully gone. It was amazing how easily Emma and I could accomplish this in the blink of an eye.
"Did you know that this song talks about a guy who spent some time with his girlfriend at her parents house, and he fell in love with the mom?" Emma's change of conversation takes me for another spin.
My eyes grow wide while my mouth hits the floor. "Oh, now I know you're joking." I shake my head.
"No," There's a smug look on Emma's face and I still believe she's making this up. There couldn't be a song that talked about Emma's and my situation. Could there? "I promise you, it's true. I will text you the link to the music video if you want."
A music video? "Good God, there's a music video, too?" I ask, taken aback.
"Yep. Kelly Preston plays the mom. Funny, so many times I listened to that song while growing up, crushing on the girl's mom in the video, when little did I know…" Emma chuckles. "I would find myself in a similar situation."
I hadn't the faintest idea who Kelly Preston was, but I wasn't about to tell Emma that. I do however grow curious as to- "And how does it end? The story. Do they… Do they end up together?"
Emma's eyes grow gentler as she nods and says, "I believe they do." Her voice is soft. "You see, the mom, she went through your situation, too. She had a husband, who gave her a nice house, a good life… All but love. He would hit her and the daughter was completely oblivious to how her mother was being treated. She was all about the boyfriend. But the boyfriend… He saw the mom in a different light. They liked each other right off, she tried hiding her bruises but he caught on. He fell in love with her."
In love? If there was such a video… Could that mean that Emma could fall in love with me?
"What about her?" My voice trembled as I asked this question, almost afraid of the answer that Emma had to give me. "Did she fall in love with him?"
Emma gives me a nod. "I just about believe that very thing." She said.
A single tear rolled down my cheek. A tear Emma's thumb was always willing to wipe away softly and delicately. As I looked into Emma's eyes, I realized that there was a chance I was in love with Emma. When did it happen? I couldn't be sure. But if this is what love felt like, I wanted to give in. Dive in head first just as my arms dared to rest loosely along Emma's shoulders, while her arms cradle along my waist. And as we pull each other in, our heads dip until our lips meet in another delicate, patient and most passionate kiss I had ever been given in my entire life. A kiss that I liked to believe had us both feeling as if we were on top of the world where we were just Emma and Regina.
It was frightening just how familiar kissing Emma had become. I honestly don't think I could no longer live without kissing her or go throughout a day without kissing her. Kissing Emma- Emma herself- had become a need that my veins and my heart needed to pump the necessary blood right through them. And I didn't want to think what would become of me if it ever stopped. If Emma no longer existed in my life.
I knew then and now- this is what I wanted. Emma is what I wanted. And no matter how long I had to wait, we would both have what we wanted.
Could this be what falling in love was like?
