Saving Regulus
Third Option
How long he stared off into space, Sirius didn't know, yet by the time he'd let the fact Regulus wanted nothing to do with him unless he took the form of a dog sink in, he'd sat down at his kitchen table in his small flat, while Lily moved to the kitchen stove, having put the tea kettle on.
"Aren't you going to summon Dumbledore?" Sirius asked as Remus took a seat near him. He glanced over, only for Remus to shrug and look over at Lily, who was still miffed at him from the look on her face.
"Are you going to turn into a dog to get information from him?" Lily sniped.
Sirius let out a deep breath, leaning back in the chair before turning to drum his fingers on the table, his mouth pushed together. He said nothing, unsure of what to say; his mind mortified at the idea that might be the only way to interact with his younger brother.
Lily looked up, her mouth pushed together, saying, "I was being sarcastic before. We do have other options, Sirius. From now on, please understand patience is what works best with Regulus."
"What," Sirius stiffened, his head tilting as she moved through the kitchen. "I don't need you to tell me what works best with my brother, Evans!"
"Apparently, you do," Lily said. "But apparently, you've forgotten how you treated him like a stranger while we were at Hogwarts?"
"What would you know about that?"
Lily took a deep breath, then shook her head. "We'll start by getting everyone fed. Is there anything, in particular, he is used to eating? I mean, at home?"
Sirius let out a sound of disgust. "And here you were proclaiming you knew more about him than me."
"I do know more about him than you do, but while I may know what kind of routine he had at Hogwarts, I am certainly not familiar with his routine at home. So I'm trying to turn to the one person who would know."
"I don't know. Tartine. Or viennoiseries of some kind." Sirius frowned, looking at the ceiling. "Nothing I'd have here."
Lily let out a deep breath. "I guess toast and jam will have to suffice. But we do have juice. And it will have to be tea instead of coffee."
Sirius stiffened, the color draining from his face, while Remus' eyebrows went up, his mouth twisting into an amused smirk. "Coffee? Where'd you get that idea from?"
"Tout à l'heure, Sirius parlait de cuisine française."
"I—what?" Sirius let out a deep breath. "Speak English, Lily. I never learned French as Regulus did."
"So the Black family does have French traditions," Lily said, placing bread into the toaster. "But for your information, Remus, the French love their coffee, but something tells me that's more of the tradition in the Black household?"
"Whatever," Sirius said, looking out the window. "I want nothing to do with those traditions."
"Or do you simply not like coffee?" Lily asked. Sirius' face screwed up, and Remus laughed. "I thought so."
"It's not what you think," Sirius said. "The stuff is so awfully bitter, so I'd prefer not to have it in my house."
Lily's eyebrows shot up. "So, effectively, you've only tried it served one way?"
"What other way could it possibly be served?" Sirius asked.
"Well, tea is served more than one way, Sirius, so you'd think that coffee would be as well," Lily said.
"That," Sirius paused. "I'm not getting coffee so that Regulus can have that crap. And don't you go getting him it either, Lily?" He glanced over at the door to his room, which was still closed. "I should go and check on him."
"You should, but don't be a brat," Lily said.
"He's the brat," Sirius said, getting up and heading to the bedroom door, not bothering to knock as he opened the door. A part of him half-expected Regulus not to be there, for his brother to have taken off. Instead, "Hey! Don't eat my pajamas! Evans is making you something to eat!"
"Lily's here?" Regulus said, not bothering to say anything about what Sirius said as if he'd not just had the sleeve of his pajamas in his mouth. And then, he said. "I'll talk to Lily."
"What?" Sirius stared at him. "You'll talk to Lily, but not me?"
"Lily is nice to me," Regulus said, glaring at his older brother. "You are not."
"Bloody," Sirius said. "She's Muggleborn. As in, not part of the social circle they'd approve of."
"Shows what you know," Regulus said, letting out a sniff of disgust like a proper pure-blood. He then looked down, his fingers pulling at the front of the pajamas. "Although…"
"What?"
"I should go home and change first," Regulus said, looking down at his clothes. "I'd best head home so they don't worry about me."
"Worry?" Sirius took a deep breath, then walked over, grabbing the pillow from the bed and waking Regulus as hard as he could. "You little twat!" He hit Regulus with the pillow again. "How dare you!" And again. "How dare you talk about worrying them when you were talking about killing yourself just last night!"
"It's the phrase, a way of speaking," Regulus said.
"Saying you're a dead man walking is just a bloody phrase!" Sirius said, hitting Regulus again.
This time Regulus' hand went up, pushing the pillow away so he could look at Sirius, although not in the eye. "No. Saying one is heading home so that nobody worries is what I'm talking about." The teenager's thin frame trembled. "But you got it right earlier."
"What?" Sirius' eyes blinked. "What are you talking about?"
"Your exact words were, 'I'm out of here. Who cares about you."
"Reg." Sirius swallowed, not liking the conversation's direction.
"There isn't anybody at home who'll be worried about me, nobody to notice I'm gone." Regulus let out a sigh. "Well, except Kreacher. And I guess, now that I think of it, Lily would be in the right state if something had happened to me. On the other hand, had I died, everyone would be far safer, so why did you bloody save me?"
"You are bloody suicidal," Sirius said.
"No. That's you," Regulus said, frowning. "I'm not the one with a death wish."
Sirius swallowed. "I'm the one with a death wish? You were bloody talking about bloody dying last night."
"And what other options did I have?" Regulus said, finally looking Sirius in the eyes, silver eyes full of emotion that Regulus was holding back. "What options do I have?"
"If you had no options, then why come to me?" Sirius snapped, pointing at himself. "Why?"
"Because," Regulus bit his lip, then let out a deep breath. "I was being selfish."
"What is selfish about wanting to live?"
"That," Regulus frowned. "I was being selfish, wanting to say goodbye. Where do you get…"
Sirius let out a sigh, letting the pillow drop to the floor. "Move over."
"What?"
"Just move over. So I can sit beside you."
"I don't know what you're up to," Regulus said, scooting over, so Sirius sat down. "And I wanted to say goodbye because I do care. I know it's stupid, but…"
Sirius sat down, wrapping an arm around Regulus, which made his brother stiffen. And then he hugged the younger, feeling Regulus harden even more. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Regulus."
Regulus spoke, head now tucked under Sirius' chin. "For what? You haven't done anything wrong, whereas I've done plenty."
